The more you observe life, the more you start understanding that the truth is always found in the “grey” areas, rather than in a black and white form of thinking. Different teachings pertaining to the “law of attraction” have been around for a long time, and movies like “The Secret” created a form of mass injunction towards the concept of creating your own reality, similar to the way books like “The Power of Now” created a form of mass injunction towards the concept of connecting with your being and letting go. When a person gets a black and white understanding about the law of attraction from a narrow dimensional teaching (as was present in The Secret), it’s bound to create confusion of its own – in other words, you end up with a half-truth, and half-truths don’t allow the possibility of real freedom or alignment. Of course, on the other hand, the black and white understanding of a book like The Power of Now affords confusion of its own. In fact, one can even see some form of fundamentalist thinking developing in the form of the proponents of spiritual living (Staying in the present, letting go, no self, et al) and the proponents of manifesting your own realities (the think and manifest deal) – the problem with both these forms of rigid thinking is that they can end up blocking an “experience” of wholeness in you.
The question that’s asked from a black and white stand point is – What is true, do we create our own reality, or should we let go and allow life to happen? The truth, as always, lies in the grey area, and though a rigid mind hates the grey area, the answer is that it’s a mix of both. Of course, law of attraction is true, in the sense that it’s the law of creation, a thought/intention/feeling gains momentum when it has enough focus until it “attracts” a reality onto itself – there is no denying the presence of the law of attraction as the creating principle of life. However, this does not directly translate to assuming that a human mind has the capacity to attract/create any reality by focusing on a thought, the truth is that an individual human mind is not the only player in this reality, we exist in a collective reality not only among other human minds but also among non-physical minds (of streams of consciousness), including the creator mind(s). Your reality is not totally “independent” of the collective, it’s always “inter-dependent” on the collective in many ways, and collective includes the non-physical intelligence(s) or creator mind(s). The concept of total free-will, for an individual human mind, cannot exist in a collective reality.
You can notice around you, that people seem to be attracting realities which are quite incompatible if you see it purely from the perspective of their individual thinking, and emotional state, alone. Their internal experience of a reality would depend totally of their own thinking, but the reality itself seems to get attracted beyond just their thinking alone – for example, a miserly person attracting a lot of wealth (which contradicts that proposition that you need think in terms of abundance to have an abundance of wealth), a needy person attracting a very caring partner (which contradicts the indiction that if you are needy you cannot attract the reality you need), a person who is highly positive-minded ends up with cancer (which contradicts the citation that you can’t have a disease if your mind is positive) – it’s true that the personal experience of the people involved depends on their individual thinking, a misery person always experiences a sense of lack, and a needy person always experiences a sense of insecurity, a person who is positive-minded finds a positive experience even in a “perceived” crisis (as perceived by the outside), but the realities they attract externally does not correspond with their thinking alone, so who creates their external reality? Is there such a thing as destiny that operates and has a greater force than individual thinking? Can individual thinking override destiny? Is there a real choice for an individual mind to totally create a reality as per exact individual specifications?
Destiny interoperates with free-will
You can look at “destiny” as some form of intention that was set into motion even before you were born, even before your individual human mind developed its capacity to think for itself. This destiny is sometimes referred to as the “blue print”, or the skeleton structure, of how your life will unfold in your physical experience. It’s mentioned in some teachings that the soul (that you are) has a path jotted out as a blue print which can accommodate your growth requirements, and desires, which you wish to accomplish in your physical journey (on a physical plane like Earth), in consultation with your spirit guides (non-physical mentors or counselors) who eventually are all just a part of your collective intelligence. In fact, even choosing a physical plane, like Earth, is a choice that you make as a soul, by understanding the opportunities/experiences available here – no different from how you choose the semesters in you college in consultation with your college counselor. Now, if all of this sounds a little “weird”, or even incredulous, then you may need to ask if you have a sense of the presence of a non-physical intelligence, or do feel that your entire life begins and ends with the physical intelligence of your brain alone? Of course, there is no need for you to believe any of this, it either resonates with you or it doesn’t, and in many cases the resonance depends on the current awareness in a being – so, if this doesn’t resonate just chuck it and move on.
So, going along with this perspective of a blue-print intention that’s set into motion even before your birth, and understanding that this intention is held in the focus of your stream of consciousness (the non-physical part of you), you realize that law of attraction is working towards orchestrating some events in your life even before your body is born – in fact, the circumstances of your birth relate to this “blue print” intention. Of course your human mind may go into a triage of “why the hell did I choose something like this family to be born in”, and the answer is that you will never really know until you understand the perspective your non-physical soul (and your guides) had at the time of the choice – for example, there can be this understanding that a certain event is needed for a certain awareness to happen towards a required balance or maturity or experience. Also, consider this, when you are in non-physical the idea of a temporary journey into the physical is no different from the idea of playing a small session of a video game, even if the temporary journey is for a 60-80 years, simply because your perspective of time itself is different in the non-physical – from your non-physical perspective you might even have found it thrilling to take up any form that’s available that matches some requirements of your growth or desire for experience.
Since your destiny (blue print) has a momentum from even before your human mind had any capacity to think, it is a stronger force, and does take precedence over your thinking – so even if you turn needy you “can” still end up with a certain partner(s) if that’s what you had chosen as a part of your blue-print. Of course, there is a possibility that your thinking can become so resistive that it blocks out, or delays, the unfolding of your destiny events – anything is possible, after all it’s all a play of energy. In other words, you really can’t be too certain as to whether an event happens as a part of your “individual” thinking or as a part of your destiny. Your thinking, however, does create your physical/personal “experience” of your life – there is no denying this truth. Destiny always is rooted in your well-being and growth, but your thinking can make your destiny feel “negative” to you because you may have no real appreciation for what you got – your personal experience of life is totally based on your thinking but the expressions that happen in your life can be a part of your destiny (blue print) or part of your personal thinking, in fact it’s a mix of both.
You can use your free-will to work on your thinking so that you can have a better personal experience of your life (like balancing the light and dark nature aspects in your mind). With an imbalanced thinking your experience of life will feel crummy no matter what circumstances play out for you. Of course, one can contend that even personal thinking can be driven by the momentum of destiny, and there is obviously truth in that also, but the way I see it, you do control the way you experience your life, it’s just that you can’t control all the events that can happen because some of them may be influenced by the collective intelligence and your unfoldment of destiny. Why is it important to have this perspective of the force of destiny? So that you don’t get so paranoid, and worked-up, about your individual thoughts/thinking based on the black and white teaching (in movies like The Secret) that you attract everything, in your reality, through your human-mind thinking alone. I do talk about taking full responsibility for your reality, but this responsibility is about letting go of blame knowing that even your destiny was part of your choice, it’s not about beating yourself up about every “negative thought” that comes up, fearing that it will manifest.
Don’t take life so seriously
I am sure you’ve heard this statement a lot of times, to the point of it irking you, but it’s a fundamental truth that life is not really a serious business – it’s more like a game, a game of existence, and the reason why there is nothing serious about it is because everything is “temporary”. Of course, one needs to have a relative seriousness, it doesn’t make sense of have a grin on your face when your partner is sobbing away (unless you prefer the couch) but it’s important to not be lost in seriousness because it defeats the underlying principle of the game which is to “play” – even video games are played in all seriousness, but it’s still a relative seriousness where one knows it’s a game. Of course, it’s not about making light of someone’s suffering by calling it a game, “sensitivity” is part of our being and it’s part of the experience of this play of life, even with the understanding, of the absolute perspective, that everything is temporary.
A good number of the desires that arise in you are part of the “blue print” intention (or destiny) and hence you don’t have to work hard at “manifesting” them, by bring out your vision boards and “gratitude journals”, rather just allow them to take shape as they will. You can also manifest some specific desires, that come forth through your current experience of life, I would call them your “bonus manifestations” – just like in a video game you can have side quests, and bonus plays, along with your main quest. So, there is a place for visualization and deliberation, as a part of enjoying your potential as a creator, along with the understanding that certain manifestations may not happen if they are not really aligned with your growth requirement, collective intelligence or destiny. Trying to force manifest a desire through some acute techniques of focus is mostly counter-productive, instead you can develop the attitude of making an inner choice (of desiring a certain manifestation), after considering the light and dark nature aspects of the choice, and allowing it to happen if its aligned with your well-being, at the right time. Basically, the attitude of “what happens is for the best” is most aligned with the truth of life. It’s far too frustrating to get too particular about a manifestation, and thus waste your energy in frustration instead of enjoying the reality that’s unfolding for you – ultimately “experience” is all there is, and your attitude decides the experience that you have of life, irrespective of the expressions that unfolds in and around you.
If you feel stuck in your life, where your “desires” don’t seem to be manifesting the way your mind wants them, in spite of the hours of gratitude journaling and vision-boarding that you are indulging in, you may want to stop struggling so much and realize that it’s not all in your “control”. The issue could well be that you “feel” stuck because of the way you are thinking about your reality rather than the reality itself – it’ very possible that the reality you are living is the best fit reality for you at this moment and it’s affording the required growth that you intended as a soul. If you are worried about your negative thinking, and are concerned that it will attract negative realities for you, just relax and realize that your human mind is not the only force at play, a much stronger force is the force of your life-stream which will play out the events that allow your well-being and growth. Of course, it’s always a good option to relax the force of your human-mind by no longer giving its thinking so much importance, this way you can reduce any real resistance to your life-force.
The bottom-line is to let go of the attitude of “rigid thinking”. It’s not about total surrender and it’s not about total control, it’s in-between, it’s a mix of both. The irony is that even the attitude of total surrender is a form of control, where you are controlling your natural instinct to want some control, your natural instinct to be “deliberate” (or at-least the sense of deliberation). You can see how your body is a mix of control and surrender, there are some things about your body that you can control (consciously, now and then) and some things you have no real control over. If your body was totally out of your control it would be a pretty boring (or scary) journey, the possibility of deliberation is what adds to the spice of this journey. On the other hand, if your life was totally your responsibility, based on your “human” thinking alone, then it would be a huge burden to handle as a person (it’s similar to how you would feel if you had to consciously breathe all the time to survive, it’s a good thing that it happens on its own through the body’s intelligence). A mix of deliberation (free-will) and automation (destiny) is what allows for an optimal experience, and that’s what life’s intelligence has created as a reality for existence – now that’s something to be very appreciative about.