If I have to summarize the attitude which is required for coming to a place of true inner freedom, it would be – being fearless. The attitude of being fearless is not about the complete “absence” of fear (after all fear is one of the natural dimensions of thinking/mind) but about the openness to allow fear, understanding it to be a part of the reality of life. This capacity for being fearless is present in all of us, it’s an inherent part of our nature as life-energy, it’s just that a lot of us don’t make the choice to connect with this capacity. We would rather see ourselves from a victim-mindset, we would rather wallow in self-pity, we would rather indulge in doom stories, we would rather be meek, we would rather keep seeking external assurance, than make the choice to connect with the attitude of being fearless. There is a huge difference between trying to “think positive” and being fearless – it’s just that the vibe, of the attitude of being fearless, is deeply positive by itself, because this attitude makes you resistance-free.
When I understood that a state of true inner freedom is not possible if it’s dependent on an external factor, it became clear to me that I was not going to find inner freedom through “knowledge”, through spirituality, through understanding the laws/physics of life, through positive thinking, through manifesting a certain reality/desire or through any form of mind perception per se. This understanding allowed me to see through the delusion of seeking the state of inner freedom through an external pursuit. If my inner freedom was dependent on any external factor, like my understanding of life, then it would be on shaky grounds, because the truth is you can’t be “certain” about anything in life – you can have a knowing, but even then you can’t be fully certain about it, it’s only a knowing. So, I have a knowing about life, about its reality, but my inner freedom is not dependent on this knowing – even if all of this “knowing” were to be totally groundless and false, I would still have my inner freedom. In simple words, this state of inner freedom is simply the attitude of being open to anything, there are no conditions, it’s not about saying I will feel free “if” xyz is true, there are no ifs, there are no dependencies, it’s just an attitude of being totally open.
The attitude of being fearless, or being open, can be chosen at any point, irrespective of your level of awareness, irrespective of your understanding, irrespective of your situation. It’s simply a choice you make in your being. So why don’t people usually make this choice? It’s simply because of the tendency to think that I can only feel free once “xyz” happens or the tendency to give our power away to an external factor (as a means to find pseudo-security). The truth is it is not inner wholeness that will make you feel free, it’s your sense of inner freedom that brings you to wholeness – if you are waiting for the state of inner wholeness to happen, before you can feel free, it will just be an eternal waiting period.
The reason why I emphasize so much on the “state of allowing” is because it develops your attitude towards being fearless, towards being open – it’s very logical. Just look within and see if you are placing a condition on your sense of inner freedom; is there a subtle thought, in you, that I am waiting for xyz to happen before I can feel free? In my case, when I got this understanding about inner freedom, I was able to connect with being fearless in spite of overwhelming mental and emotional momentum of depression and fear that I was going through. Even now, with all the balance I have (after releasing the momentum), it’s my attitude of being fearless/open that gives me my sense of inner freedom not vice versa.
Inner freedom has nothing to do with trust
I remember getting a question about – “is not your trust in the well-being of life at the core of the freedom/confidence that you feel” – my answer was, no, my sense of inner freedom has nothing to do with any form of trust I have in life. In fact I have no real trust in life, it’s just that I’ve “observed” the way life works, and it scientifically is a force that works towards well-being, quite simply because it’s the very nature of life-energy to move towards balance every time there is an imbalance, it naturally moves towards harmony when there is disturbance, moving towards harmony is its natural movement. But I was able to make this unbiased observation only from a place of inner freedom, if I was trying to “think positive” I wouldn’t be able to make an unbiased observation. And even if it had turned out that life was a chaotic force, if it was an unintelligent and clueless energy, and its only purpose was suffering, even then it wouldn’t have affected my sense of inner freedom – it has nothing to do with trusting life or having faith. None of my beliefs, or understandings about life, is the reason for my sense of inner freedom – it’s totally independent of all of this. Inner freedom purely comes from the attitude of being fearless/open to “anything” happening – as soon as you impose even one condition, you lose your sense of inner freedom, you become hostage to that condition.
You can see this in relationships, where the whole deal of “trust” can become a means of fear-based thinking. The question is – why do want to base your sense of security on trusting someone, why not base it on your sense of freedom towards anything that happens on the outside? When you impose the weight of “trust” on someone/something, you are indirectly stating that your sense of security is dependent on your trust (with an unavoidable fear of being let down). You can also see the manipulative angle of saying things like “I trust you” as a means to control someone through the force of guilt of breaking your trust. There are many people who spend a lifetime of suffering under the influence of guilt for having failed someone’s trust. The truth is that no-one is “obliged” to be responsible for you sense of security, no-one is obliged to be responsible for your sense of hurt, if someone is being responsible towards you it’s a bonus stemming from their attitude, but they are not obliged to do so. People who keep getting hurt are the ones who have the attitude of making others responsible for their sense of security, happiness and esteem.
Fear is a very effective aspect to use as a control mechanism. You can easily control someone (who doesn’t have inner freedom) through manipulating their fears or insecurities. You can see how parents use the tool of fear to control the kids, and these kids grow up to use the same mechanism to manipulate others (and themselves), and we end up creating a world run by fear-based motivations. Even the teaching of “trust in life” (or some higher power) ends up making you a meek person, such teachings have the underpinnings of making your sense of freedom dependent on an external force – once you buy into the teaching of finding security through “trust” in an external force, you can then easily be manipulated through fear based teachings of being servile to this sense of external force. You can see an underlying vibe of “meekness” that’s present in this attitude of basing your security on trust.
Inner freedom brings flexibility in thinking
Without a space of inner freedom, your thinking will always border along the lines of “black and white”, simply because you are trying to seek security through your thinking, hence you want something solid to hold on to. A person who does not have inner freedom would always want a “concept” to hold on to, a technique to cling to or an understanding to put trust in. When your sense of security/freedom is dependent on your “thinking” you will end up becoming rigid in terms of wanting to hold on to a pattern of thinking instead of allowing the openness to evolve in your thinking as a part of your growth.
When you have inner freedom, it allows you to be open to the space of uncertainty, to the space of being wrong, to the space of knowing that you may not know everything (and don’t have to know everything), to the space of confusion, to the space of imperfection, to space of making mistakes. I allow myself to follow through on what feels “resonant” in my being, in my current awareness, I am not trying to hold on to a sense of “conviction” about anything – conviction leaves you no space for growth. When I write about certain understandings that I have about life, I am just sharing what resonates with me in my current level of awareness, it’s not a “conviction” neither do I want you to take it up as a belief; just see if it resonates for you, if it doesn’t just drop it. Give yourself the freedom to be flexible in your thinking. Flexibility is an inherent aspect present in anyone who has inner freedom. Rigidity, in thinking, is rooted in a lack of inner freedom.
Even when you think about your desires, or use the practice of “visualization”, allow yourself the freedom to be flexible with regards to the exact specifics of how you want the desire to manifest. This flexibility allows you to be more resistance-free towards incorporating insights, or inspirations, that can come from within, or from outside, as part of your “higher consciousness” (the intelligence of your life-stream or non-physical intelligence) giving you a better picture of the path that’s most suited for you under your current level of maturity and awareness. You can only have this flexibility when you are not basing your sense of security on the desire manifesting the way you specifically want it. Inner freedom allows you to let go of the vibe of “desperation” which is inherently resistive in nature.
Inner freedom starts in your being
When you are inhabiting a physical body, you are accosted with the brain and the heart, as two centers of intelligence, along with your own thinking as a being, and the intelligence of your non-physical space (intelligence of your life-stream). It’s little wonder that there are several possibilities of conflicts, confusion and turmoil, given the presence of so many different “intelligences” spouting their views. The heart has a view, the brain has a view, your being has a view and the intelligence of your life-stream provides a view, and they may all feel totally out of sync. Ultimately, it’s you, as the being/soul, who has to take ownership as the captain of the ship. If you have no space of freedom, you will just feel pulled around by all these view-points without any sense of peace or control. The paradox is that a lot of people think of the “state of allowing” as some permanent letting go of control, when in truth it brings you to a place of real control because it brings you to a place of inner freedom. The state of allowing is not about allowing yourself to be pulled around by the mind (any aspect of mind, be it your brain, heart, being or life-stream) rather it’s about developing the openness to allow the mind without being “lost” in identification with the thinking, so you are not suppressing neither are you lost in identification (being at the mercy of any thought or emotion) – this is what develops the attitude of being fearless, of being open, of inner power. Once you have a space of inner freedom, you can then sync up the thinking of all these minds, and be a channel of balanced expression.
A lot of people misconstrue the point of “letting go” or “allowing” as a pointer towards losing your sense of ownership – in the sense of surrendering to some external force while losing your sense of self. In truth, the practice of allowing (or conscious letting go) is supposed to accomplish four objectives
1. Release the momentum of past accumulation of emotional energy (in your physical body and in your being), so that “emotional pressure” is no longer a factor influencing you
2. Release the mind momentum in your brain and in your being, so that patterns of conditioned thinking as well as patterns of imbalanced thinking (based on past unconsciousness) don’t influence your being
3. Develop your sense of inner power/freedom against emotional or mental influence of any form
4. Become “baggage free” so that you can live from the “wisdom” of the moment, through a balanced mind, instead of living from the pressure of accumulated emotions and thinking patterns.
As you can see, in all the four objective, the central point is that “you” are finding real freedom and thus real control – in none of the objectives is it hinted that you lose your sense of self or surrender to some external force. Even the intelligence of your life-stream is to be taken as a guidance which you “consider”, it’s not to be taken as a dictate which you simply have to follow. I get this question about – “should I blindly follow my intuition” – and the answer would be, no, don’t blindly follow anything. Wisdom is a product of a balanced mind, which requires your being to have an inner freedom to “consider” different aspects of thinking and incorporate a balanced view. The truth is that even the inner sense of guidance, coming from your life-stream, needs to be taken up with the wisdom, in awareness, considering the physical implications of it. History is an evidence of people who faced some brutal endings mostly because they followed their inner call blindly without incorporating aspects of physical wisdom – it’s a choice, but I don’t associate any nobility with following an inner guidance blindly without incorporating your own sense of wisdom based on your experience of physical life, based on the instincts of your brain and heart. As I said, I don’t blindly “trust” anything, even my intuition or inspiration, I base my decision on what really resonates with “me” based on my current level of awareness while incorporating all aspects of thinking and feeling, with a conscious openness to the consequences.
I get this question about – “how do I know if it’s my inner guidance” – the answer is, you can’t know, you can never know, and hence you can’t ever trust blindly. In fact, even if it was truly an inner guidance, it still doesn’t mean that you need to follow it blindly without incorporating your own wisdom based on your own awareness of physicality, unless you want to make a choice of surrendering your ownership, your responsibility to your body and your dependents. Your inner guidance, and inspiration, is useful as an “assistance” for your life, but it’s not about following anything blindly – you have to incorporate the thinking of your brain, your heart, your own awareness as a being, along with the inspirations/guidance, or intuitions, that come from within as a part of the intelligence of your life-stream. Your awareness, as a being, is all you have to depend on truly, and your sense of inner freedom is what really gives you the power to incorporate real wisdom in your life – any form of dependency, or blind trust, can cause you to surrender your wisdom.
If your question is – “how can I be sure of my decisions and my perspective, how do I know for sure what’s the right thing to do?” – again the answer is, you can’t ever be totally sure, you have to allow the space of uncertainty. You only have your current level of awareness, in your being, to base your decisions. You need to have the inner freedom to be okay with consequences instead of seeking “guaranteed” assurances. Always remember that growth is eternal, and there is no such thing called perfection – so allow yourself the freedom to explore, don’t seek certainties about everything. To feel certain is not a reality of life, anyone can see the aspect of uncertainty inherent to life’s movement. If you keep trying to be certain, you will feel stuck and confused, you will no longer have the independence to explore. You need to have freedom even from your inherent need for absolute security, without this freedom you will become too rigid in your movement.
I am as much on a path of growth and evolution in my awareness as anyone, and my sense of inner freedom simply allows me a smoother growth in my awareness because it’s unhindered by a resistance based “holding on”. There are surely some older posts, in this blog, where my understanding was not “well rounded” enough, and I do delete some old posts which don’t resonate with my current awareness. In case you find some contradiction, in the understanding of life, between my present posts and some older posts, take it to be a part of evolution in my own understanding based on my current level of awareness. One thing you can be sure of is that there is never a contradiction on what “inner freedom” really means, and the journey towards it, it’s only my understanding of life that can evolve – the state of inner freedom is independent of any of these understandings about life. The core pointer of this blog is always towards finding inner freedom above everything else.