Allowing Inner Growth

Posted on by Sen.



Everything that is born is subject to growth, in fact life as a dynamic energy movement is always in a “forward” motion. There is no regression or “going back” in life, it’s always growing forward. As a human being, your body keeps growing or aging in a forward movement – infancy, childhood, teenage, adulthood are some very general terms which can be used to describe the growth phase of a human. Once you hit adulthood, you keep growing as an adult in maturity, wisdom, intelligence and character.

There is the “physical” growth of the body, and then there is the “mental growth” of the mind. The physical growth of the body is mostly inevitable because it happens at a cellular level (though it is quite possible to resist certain physical growth through resistant thoughts), however the “mental growth” required to match new/forward realities is what a lot of people tend to “resist” because of the tendency of the mind to cling to old identities. When you are not in resistance to this transformation/growth, your life seems to keep moving in a dynamic way towards new realities and experiences, but when you are in a place of “resistance” towards this growth you start feeling stuck, confused and out of sorts, and your reality starts feeling conflicted and incongruent.

What causes resistance to your inner growth?

Different realities require different “mindsets”. The reality that you lived as an infant or teenager required a far different mindset than which is required to lead an adult life. But a lot of people (their minds) are not willing to let go of the old mindset/”self image” and thus not allowing the growth towards a different “mindset” required for the new realities and experiences. If you get a feeling that you are being “immature”, it could well be a wake-up call for you to let go of your old mindset and allow a transformation of your mind towards a new maturity.

Transformation of your mind would take place on its accord if you just allow yourself to let go of your old identities, self-image, outlook and beliefs, that you know are no longer congruent with the type of reality you wish to experience. You literally need to just “let go” of them and allow the “new” mindset to come in.

A lot of people tend to carry their “childhood” identity through out their entire life and thus resist a lot of growth and expansion which was their due, and thus feel stuck and unsuccessful through out. Your childhood identity was present, and useful, when you were a child, your teenage identity was useful as a teenager, but these identities will be totally incongruent in you as an adult – and yet it’s so common to see people carry their “child” identities in them and try to negotiate their adult life through this old self-image and mindset.

Are you holding back on your growth?

See if you can identify with any of the patterns below.

– In your dreams you appear mostly as a adolescent boy/girl who feels helpless or scared

– You feel scared/insecure, and out of place, in the company of adults in general

– You constantly get a feeling that you are not as mature as you wish to be

– You are referred to as being “immature” by people around you

– You wish to experience certain realities but your mind feels a lot of fear about it (similar to a child who is afraid of the dark)

– You have phobias in you that don’t feel normal to you as an adult

– You are intensely scared of standing on your own shoes and dealing with some “practicalities” of adult life that you know are inevitable for the reality you wish to experience

– You constantly feel like a child within, rather than feeling like a mature adult

– You are constantly looking for emotional support from outside rather than having the maturity to find your own support within

– You see yourself throwing tantrums for small issues and being “difficult” in order to seek attention

These are just some small pointers to help you identity the “child identity” within you that may still be holding a major portion of your human consciousness in spite of you being an adult “physically”. To have the positives of a child like being passionate, enthusiastic, heart-oriented and aligned with love, are of essence because these positives are aligned with your true nature – but to carry on holding to the negatives of a child-phase like feeling dependent, emotionally immature, overly anxious and unstable, are patterns that will constantly resist your expansion towards newer realities that you wish to experience.

Growth happens as soon as you allow it

You don’t have to “work” (through physical action) towards gaining maturity, you can simply allow the maturity to come in by bringing in a deep awareness to patterns in you that no longer feel congruent to who you’ve become or who you want to become. A deep “awareness” of the incongruent mindset, self-image and identity-structure is enough to start a transformation that creates an inner growth. Awareness automatically implies that there is a level of “dis-identification” now, and this brings in the space for a new intelligence to work and for a new “programming” to come through from the movement of your life force.

The genetics present in a human undergoes a change whenever he/she allows a transformation or inner growth in their mindset, this causes the creation a human who is more evolved than the genetic pool he/she came from. You are not limited by your old genes, you are not limited by the programming you inherited from your culture or society, you are not limited by your up-bringing, neither are you limited by age, intelligence or resources, the only thing that will ever limit you is your inability to allow a inner transformation to take place by letting go of identification with old identities which are no longer congruent with the new realities you wish to experience.


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10 Comments

  1. Gairmac

    Is this not also related to the “inner child” alot of us are trying to embrace and heal? What’s slowly sinking in for me is the simplicity of awareness alone and its inherent intelligence, which is the transforming factor – without the need to mentally figure it out or develop strategies to let go of the old immaturities. So it seems that when the ‘childhood ” comes up, the awareness of it actually is the embrace of it – and then I just choose to let it go…

    1. Sen Post author

      Yes, the light of awareness is all that’s needed to bring about a transformation. When you bring a deep awareness to a conflict or resistant pattern within you, you are essentially bringing in the intelligence of the “wholeness” of who you are and thus its a very powerful intelligence that gets at work. You don’t really need to mentally figure out anything through “Effort”, the figuring out happens on its own when you allow the intelligence of awareness to touch the conflicts/confusions within you. The figuring out can happen through a deep insight from within, or it can happen through you being guided through some insight you get from someone outside you (there is no outside essentially because everything is the “one” awareness in different forms). This why I call this state “effortless existence” because the intelligence of awareness brings an effortless inspiration and guidance to your whole life.

      The pointers in some of the posts are to help identify the patterns of negativity running in the mind. This identification can expedite the process of letting go of the negative patterns (by bringing them to the light of your awareness) and thus allow you to be free of the inner resistance at quicker pace. As the awareness keep growing stronger, and deeper, in a person, they would be able to see through all the patterns of negativity, that will come to the light of this awareness, on their own accord. This awareness is the light that dissolves the negativity created through the wrong vision or what is called in many spiritual teachings as “unconsciousness”.

  2. Sandra

    Thanks for a wonderful passage !

  3. glory

    Bendiciones!!! Gracias!!!!

  4. BESSIE

    HI DEAR SEN ,I LOVE ALL YOU WRITE ABOUT ITS EXACTLY WHAT I LEARNED ALL THESE YEARS IN THERAPY ,RIGHT NOW IAM GOING THROUGH A BIG STAGE OF TRANSITION ,SHAKING OF MY CHILD WHITHIN IN THE BEGINING IT WAS SCARY CAUSE I WAS USING A PHYSICAL SYMPTOM OF ANXIETY TO RESIST MY INNER GROWTH AND I WAS FOCUSING ON MY SYMPTOM SO I WOULDNT LET CHANGE HAPPEN ,THATS WHAT MY THERAPIST SAID CAUSE I FINISHED THERAPY LONG AGO, AND WENT BACK LIKE FOR THREE SESTIONS TRYING TO TALK ABOUT MY SYMPTOM AND HE SAID YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON YOU JUST DONT WANT TO FACE THE FACT THAT THE ADULT IN YOU IS TELLING YOU THAT THIS IS IT YOU CANT RESIST ANYMORE AND SEN BELIEVE ME I COULDNT IT WAS SO STRONG I THOUGHT IN THE BEGINING SOMTHING WAS DYING ,I FELT LOST ,AND THE FIRST TIME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I FELT THAT NO ONE COULD HELP ME BECAUSE THATS WHAT MY ADULT SELF WAS TELLING ME AND SHOWING ME THAT ITS ALL ABOUT ME AND NOT THE DADDY AND MOMMY FIGURE HELPING ME THROUGH EVERYTHING FIRST TIME I FACED THIS CHANGE ON MY OWN IT WAS SCARY I THOUGHT I WAS STUCK BUT AS I LET MY SELF SE THE TRUTH MORE AND MORE I FEEL BETTER SLOWLY STILL A BIT SCARED ,MY INNER CHILD IS THROWING ITS TANTRUMS TRYING TO MAKE ME FOCUS ON THE SYMPTOM BUT I STARTED UDERSTNDING THAT ITS A FAKE REASON WHY IAM SCARED ITS NOT THE SYMPTOM ITS THE CHILD WHOS SCARED OF DYING ,,,THANK YOU YOUVE INSPIRED ME ALOT THANK YOU

  5. Michael

    I have a huge resistance to growing older, even though most people would consider me young, venturing into the 20s fills me with fear, hatred, and dread.

    I keep thinking “My life can’t be as fun as it would be for a 16 year old” or something to that effect. It’s odd how my mind keeps thinking of experiences defining the younger years that have already passed me, even though I fully know that experiences are fleeting and can’t give lasting joy.

    I don’t beat myself up for “why do I keep thinking this?”, I’m quite aware of the process that’s going on. It does seem like even when this ebbs away completely, there will still be an undertone of regret/longing for the experiences of the teenage years, especially because the teens I look at seem to have a good time.

    Is there a hint of truth in that or is that the mind talking? I asked my Mom about getting older and what you do, and she said it’s all relevant to how old you are. Makes sense and I can see that comparing my childhood years to present day, even though the future doesn’t seem like that.

    1. Sen Post author

      Michael, the reality is that growing old is part of physical living, and it doesn’t matter whether you like it or not, you will be subjected to this reality – this is part of understanding that you can’t “control” certain movements of collective reality. This is not about getting “assurances” that getting old can be fun, rather it’s about an openness to getting old as a part of reality, irrespective of whether the mind likes it or not – “openness” doesn’t mean that you feel good about it, it just means you have an openness to it. Since everything in life has a light and dark nature, there is no reality that is exempt of this truth, just because you don’t like some dark nature aspects doesn’t mean that you can avoid it in your reality. Actually this thought about “my life can’t be as fun”, and your reaction to it, is simply evidence of your “attachment” to joy (light nature), which also causes you to be afraid of the lows (dark nature) and this attachment causes you to have a vibe of desperation and neediness, and causes you to constantly afraid of aspects of reality, these are simply traits of immaturity towards life. A mind rooted in wholeness is aligned with the light and dark nature of life, and hence has no resistance to either, and hence is not rooted in fear of aspects of reality.

    2. Anonymous

      Michael: “It does seem like even when this ebbs away completely, there will still be an undertone of regret/longing for the experiences of the teenage years”

      Regret is wishing one had made different choices; Longing for the past is another way of saying one is unhappy with today’s choices, or is afraid to face them. Past choices are gone. Consequences may linger, but there is no redo. Today’s choices will keep coming up until they are faced. Either of these attitudes leads to suffering.

      As Sen wrote, this is imbalance toward joy – which may keep you from really living today. Remember that you are always growing as a being. Likewise, aging gives you new chances to grow in ways not available to youth. Taking on new responsibility, exploring new ways of expressing oneself, adapting to new limits, new doors open as we go along. It is all age appropriate, letting go of the past allows one to learn from these opportunities of aging.

  6. Michael

    Thanks for replying, Sen. It would seem like I very rarely feel good, so when I do feel good, I try desperately to cling onto the experience that gave me those feelings. One thing that is gigantic at the moment is being “jealous” of people who live in Florida, because it seems so fun. I went there a few months ago and had an awesome time, but I assume I am desperately trying to fight the thought of “Florida is the best place in the world and life will always be a little empty if you don’t live there”, because that just so happened to be the environment I was in when I had that good time, I fight it so much that I search for blogs about people complaining about Florida, just so I feel better about myself.

    The thoughts of comparison, self pity, jealousy, rage, discontentment, etc. are clouding my mind completely, but I just let it be there and want its’ full intensity to be there. I can feel a big difference in the feeling that would accompany those thoughts compared to a few months ago. I just sit here with them, as they begin to ebb away, even though it seems to be taking a long time, it is what it is.

  7. Michael

    Anonymous – Thanks for the reply. I’d have to say the feeling is a bit of both, because I am unhappy with my past choices and definitely hate my situation present day. The only thing that I’m really glad about is my dedication to this process, which was started months ago.

    I take it what you’re saying is all from your personal experience? I’m not trying to get reassurance about aging, because I realize it is a completely subjective experience, nor can I try and fight my feelings with other peoples’ stories. I guess I’m just waiting for the clarity of my own “being” to come in.

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