When you align yourself with the reality of life you reach inner freedom very naturally. The simple reasoning is that there is no difference between you and life, because you are the same life-energy; life-energy is the only presence here, what’s called in spiritual teachings as the “I am that I am” or “All there is” or “The One Being” or “Non-duality”. If you understand the reality of life-energy, and stop opposing this reality within you, you naturally find inner freedom, and soon enough would be able to release your past accumulation of imbalance (in the form of emotional/mental momentum of resistance) and come to a place of inner wholeness. Inner freedom is a pre-requisite to coming to a place of inner wholeness. “Wholeness” is simply a term I use to define, and point to, the balanced/stable/natural state of life-energy, which you come to when you let go of being in “resistance” to the reality of life.
The core reality/truth of life-energy is that it is made up of two natures – light and dark. Try as hard as you will you cannot change this nature about life (in you or outside you) simply because this is its intrinsic nature, the way it is. All forms of imbalances, delusions, negativity or unnecessary psychological issues are created purely due to a resistance towards aligning with this truth of life-energy – either resisting the light nature, or resisting the dark nature. It’s very easy to find inner freedom when you stop resisting the integration of light and dark components in you – the practice of the state of allowing is all it takes for this integration to happen in any being, and though I am referring to this as a practice it’s actually the natural way of being, it’s just that it needs to be inculcated as a practice for a while until the old pattern/conditioning of living in resistance is dissolved.
Value of Awareness practices
Meditations in the form of watching the thoughts (mindfulness), chanting (focus on a word), focusing on the breath, staying in the present as practice of alertness, etc are useful techniques to develop the power of awareness in you, or rather the power of alertness, where you consciously stay out of the mind. These practices are only needed temporarily, in some people, who severely lack the capacity for awareness, which causes them to be lost in the mind all the time, like a state of “sleep walking” – these practice can help in getting your consciousness to wake up from being totally lost in the mind during your waking hours. In this post – the practice of relaxed awareness – I talk about how to connect with your space of being and thus free your awareness from being totally anchored in the mind. Through this meditation/practice you can develop a stability in your awareness.
If you have a decent amount of awareness, you don’t really need these practices – in any case, I would suggest that a month of such meditations is all that’s required for any average human to gain a decent amount of awareness, anything more than that just becomes another addiction, another crutch, another habit in your being. Having some stability in your awareness is of help when you start practicing the state of allowing – that’s the only reason I would even suggest that you do any one of these meditations (like the practice of relaxed awareness) for a month before getting into the practice of “allowing”; several people already have a good amount of awareness towards their mind and in such cases these meditations are not really needed (unless you want to do it for fun).
The practice of “allowing” is not a meditation, because you don’t “meditate” on anything specifically, you don’t try to control your awareness in any way. Any form of control will cause you to make “preferences” where you try to suppress either the dark nature, or light nature, component in you out of the fear of facing it. The reason why the state of allowing naturally brings an inner balance is because the core of this practice is for “you” to let go of trying to control what arises – since it’s “you” that’s in imbalance to start with, any form of control, from you, will also stem from this imbalance and hence would prevent a balance from setting in. This part of “you” is also called the “ego”, however it’s not about dissolving the ego, rather it’s about balancing the ego – the ego is simply the sense of “I”, that’s present in any aware stream of life-energy, you cannot do away with it. Of course, this is how I, personally, define ego and balance, some other teachers may have their own way of defining it – as long as you understand their context its fine. The last thing you want is to have some deluded imagination about the term “ego” and go around in circles due to this confusion.
State of allowing is not just a practice
The state of allowing will seamlessly integrate your light and dark nature, it’s inevitable, just as it’s inevitable for a rubber band to come back to its natural state when you let go of the force of stretching it. However, though this process starts as a practice that you do for a few minutes, it soon starts pervading into your life, in that your external reality starts syncing up with this process. Sometimes, external events are required for you to unearth some suppressed emotions, or for sub-conscious resistances, in the form of thoughts/beliefs, to be brought to the light of awareness, so that it can be “allowed” to integrate, and thus be balanced out.
This is not simply a practice that you do for a few minutes and be done with, it actually becomes an invitation to allow your life-force to bring a balance to your inner and external reality, and this movement of balance becomes very active, very alive and all-pervading, as it unfolds. The process, once it gets activated, seeks to remove all forms of resistance/imbalances in you, and there are no compromises, no convenient hide-outs – it just does not rest until every shred of your imbalance gets restored to balance. Of course, well-being is dominant during this process, even though, for a while, it may seem like your reality goes through an “over-haul”, internally and externally, as required for a balance to set in.
Resistance to the state of allowing
Since the core movement of bringing a state of balance is to integrate your light & dark nature, and core-opposition to this balance is your “resistance” (which I also refer to as ego-force, since it’s the force generated by the delusion/resistance in you towards reality of life) what you notice is that as this process gains hold it’s target is to break-down this ego-based resistance so that it can go ahead with a seamless integration. If you offer less resistance, you wouldn’t have to be subjected to any real “fierce grace” by this process. The below are the usual resistances offered by the ego-force.
– Trying to cling to the “high” states, and resisting the presence of low-states (like sadness, depression, anxiety) as they arise as a natural requirement for integration
– Trying to control the mind’s thinking; for example, forcing the mind to think “positive” instead of allowing the thoughts of any nature (dark/light) to arise
– Constantly reacting to the mind’s thoughts instead of letting them arise without buying into them
– Constantly focusing on an “imbalance” (inside or outside), or negative reality, or making it into an “identity”, thus not allowing a balance to set in due to the resistance of this focus
Basically, the problem is not with the presence of imbalance, rather the problem is with the “amount” of imbalance which gets accumulated as a result of continued resistance – it’s only when an imbalance goes beyond a threshold that it becomes a source of real suffering. In the state of inner wholeness, there is a natural cycle of balance, where an imbalance arises and is restored to balance without any resistance or struggle; the dark and light nature are constantly balancing out each other, to maintain a movement – this movement is what we call “aliveness” of life. For example, even in the state of wholeness, you will have dark nature components in the form of questions/learning, growth-requirements, doubts, confusion, challenges etc (you don’t get to some “static” state of nothingness or some “dead space”), but there is no resistance in your being and hence this dark nature is balanced out by the light nature of answers, solutions, clarity etc – this interplay of dark and light nature will be eternal in you, because that’s the nature of life-energy. The deal is to allow this seamless interplay between the dark and light nature components in you, instead of being in resistance to this natural movement.
Momentum of imbalance is the problem
In order to explain the effect of “momentum of imbalance”, for better understanding, consider the below categories
Light nature – love, joy, peace
Dark nature – hatred, fear, agitation
The moment you say you want light nature over dark nature (or vice-versa), you move into an imbalance. For example, if you want a static peace all the time, you will become resistant to agitation, and thus become resistant to a natural movement in you as life-energy. This resistance will cause the momentum of “agitation” to keep building up, due to its suppression, and this momentum will then translate into a high amount of imbalance which starts creating internal suffering – it also starts creating imbalanced manifestations in your external reality as a reflection of this inner imbalance. If you were not in opposition to the normal movement of agitation that arises in you, cyclically, now and then, it would naturally get balanced out into peace and thus there would be no “build up”, or accumulation, of the energy of agitation. Another example is the opposition to the presence of fear – if your tendency is to keep avoiding the feeling of fear, and try to suppress it through “positive thinking”, or some distraction in the form of indulgence in joy, you will keep building up the momentum of fear in you, which would eventually manifest in some form that you can no longer avoid (for example, obsessive thoughts of fear that start coming up out of the blue).
It’s quite ironical that “enlightenment” is sold as some means of reaching a state of static joy, which by itself is the most unenlightened imagination to hold. Enlightenment simply means having the right/accurate understanding about the reality of life, which directly translates to aligning with dark and light nature of life. Psychological suffering is simply the result of having resistance to this reality of life. The state free of psychological suffering does not translate to a state of pure light nature, rather it’s a state that’s free towards allowing the dark nature along with the light nature.
If you notice, it’s the imbalance in a certain “nature” (light/dark) that leads to problems – when the nature goes into high intensity due to over-identification or suppression. In the “base” state a certain dark/light nature is not a problem. Below are the examples of how a certain nature varies in experience, and moves into imbalance, as it increases in intensity.
Love – Liking/Caring < Attraction < Attachment < Addiction < Obsession
Joy – Enjoyment < Enthusiasm < Over-Excitement < Greed < Recklessness
Peace – Stable < Calm < Passive < Dull < Stupor
Hatred – Dislike < Sadness < Frustration < Anger < Aggression
Fear – Concern < Worry < Anxiety/Nervousness < Panic < Horror
Agitation – Dissatisfaction < Discontent < Restless < Edgy < Frenzied
As you can see, in their lowest/base state of intensity the light/dark nature components are not a problem. As the intensity increases, owing to over-indulgence, over-identification, or suppression, the component starts becoming problematic and imbalanced. When this imbalance is sustained over a long period of time there is an accumulation, or momentum, that starts building up, in your being, that’s no longer “comfortable” in feeling – for example, the feeling of anxiety is far less comfortable than the feeling of concern; but anxiety as a feeling is only possible when fear has gained a momentum in you. In a state of wholeness you don’t feel fear at any uncomfortable intensity, fear stays in its base intensity.
A conscious release of accumulated momentum
Depending on how much imbalance you’ve created in a certain dark/light nature component, in your being, you will have to go through a “release” phase of facing that feeling, in accumulated intensity, until it’s released. For example, if the momentum of fear in you has built up to the level of panic, due to your unconscious suppression, or over-identification, you will need to face the “feeling” of panic during the state of allowing (without trying to escape it or suppress it) until its momentum starts coming down due to the release that happens as a result of the “conscious allowing” – there really is no short cut to this process, only a conscious allowing dissolves the pattern of resistance present in your mind that caused the imbalance in the first place.
As soon as a certain nature (light/dark) goes beyond the 3rd base, of intensity, it starts creating strong resistance in your being towards a natural movement of balance. You feel the sense of freedom, in your being, diminishing more and more as the imbalance starts building up and you start feeling like a prisoner to a certain dark/light nature. Inner freedom starts with developing the ability to start “dis-identifying” with patterns of resistance (in the form of over-indulgence or suppression) towards the dark/light nature component that has gone into an imbalance in you, thus allowing it to come to a state of balance within you. One has to be careful in recognizing that even the state of “freedom” can take you to a place of imbalance (fore example, it’s possible that the sense of power, that comes with inner freedom, can blind you towards opposing your value-system) – in this context, freedom is a light nature which needs to be balanced with the dark nature of wisdom. This alignment with conscious balance is what brings you to inner wholeness, where the cycle of balance goes into auto-mode.
Sen I’ve come to the realization that much of how i have been throughout most of my life is not aspects of me, but people I admire instead. Now that I know this, I’m not sure who I am exactly, my personality of who I am without these external aspects created through individuals leaves me feeling empty as if who I truly am is uncertain. Now, I’m just not sure how to act in social situations, because I’m not sure if this is who I naturally am, or just mimicking of individuals I admire, or are the experiences of who I admire and my copying of the certain quality of these individuals truly who I am? How do I find my true self? The person who I am, the aspects of me that are truly me?
Iz, to realize that you’ve basically been “copying” others, is a good first step realization and it’s definitely a progress in your conscious living deal – it just means you are growing in awareness. This awareness will now automatically feel the desire to explore yourself, to explore your true nature, what’s called “self discovery”. You may want to spend time with yourself, without distraction, possibly for 20-30 mins a day to just get a sense of your mind, it’s true personality, to get a sense of your being, of your inner space – if you just sit in a space of allowing, you can automatically observe all the patterns that come up, and you can sense the patterns that feel like ‘you’ and sense the patterns that are based on external conditioning. This process of self-discovery is what lines you up with your natural expression – you can read this post – A fearless Self-discovery
Iz, it’s your ego, actually it’s your awareness of the ego (a cognitive brain structure) that’s needs to define who you are, to know who you are in order to carry out its purpose which is to ensure your survival. It does so by attempting to make your “self” concrete, something substantive to hold on to and protect. However, and Sen may disagree with this, you are consciousness, and as such require no personality. As consciousness you are all that is.
I tend to become very drowsy and almost fall asleep when practicing relaxed awareness (I sit on a chair ). I also feel drowsy after the practice. I’m aware that I’m falling asleep during the practice. I become alert but after some time I again fall asleep and sometimes enter in a dream like state.I practice during day time.What should I do to avoid feeling drowsy and falling asleep?
GB, it’s quite normal initially to feel a bit fatigued or drowsy while practicing relaxed awareness, this is because your awareness is not used to being “independent”, or standing on it own – it’s used to being lost to the mind. For now, just give yourself the freedom to sleep if you feel drowsy, like taking a short nap. With time, as your awareness becomes more stable, you will hold a state of observation without feeling drowsy, and be willing to see through the patterns in the mind, and gain a deeper understanding of your mind.
Thank you for answering my previous query.I have another doubt.At bed-time when I’m about to drift off to sleep I get negative thoughts, I try to allow these thoughts but it’s difficult to use my energy to be aware of the thoughts because I’m also sleepy at the same time so there is no option but ignoring thoughts and going off to sleep.It’s easier for me to ignore the thoughts.If I try to be aware and allowing, my sleep is getting disturbed.I’m not doing this out of fear.My doubt is am I fueling the thoughts by ignoring? Sorry for my bad English.
GB, if the thoughts don’t have a grip on your being, you can just ignore them.
Given the fact that much of your information is a workable solution in coming to, and or arriving at inner peace and mental stability for you and others alike; there yet remains a stumbling for me. The question I pose to you is one that is finite, or an immovable obstacle to climb over for me. TRUTH! When the solution for contentment and happiness is founded in the truth of reality, i.e., creation arrived paradise and perfection, to fallen angels, men and physical. Is solution found in altering our minds and perception? Thereby arriving at a “utopia mindset”, through imperfect minds and solutions. While the “truth” is still on a course for the eventual “realness of perfect configureable reality”. Not trying to rain on anyones parade but simply finding answers to my perceived knowledge as to why it is hard for me to come to the place of “oneness” in all things, physical, metaphysical and spiritual. Is this all there is?
MC, as long as you keep trying to reach some “static state” which you can label as “perfection” you will not be able to let go of this energy of seeking, it stays as an endless seeking because there is no such static state in life. Once you are created as a life-stream/soul/being you are “eternally” in movement, there is no static end-point, no place which you can hold and call “contentment” or “oneness” or “perfection”, your experiences will always be changing, you will always be moving towards something – this eternal movement is the nature of life, that’s why it’s called “life” because it’s always alive and moving, it’s never dead. This eternal movement (this never-endingness) is the blessing and curse of life, it’s light and dark nature, when you accept this reality/truth your seeking drops away – “wholeness” is not a static state, it’s just a resistance-free state, where you have no resistance to your eternal/natural movement – as long as you think you are going to reach an “end point” you will always be in the mode of seeking something that doesn’t exist.
hi Sen,
I have had some conversation with you. I started reading your posts back in March.
My question is that I know mind/brain is a machine for physicality and its designed for survival. Time and again, I forget it and start believing what my mind broadcast to me. I have been quite sincere and honest in my non-effort. Why do I not see them as thoughts, why do I keep forgeting? I understand them, but I still get tricked.
I practice allowing, which is just to be. But even though I know it is not a practice, but a pointer to relax, I have not made too much progress lately, or so it seems.
The rumination/OCD seems so overwhelming and I hope to get some relief in near future because the fierce-grace is quite painful at times.
Anu, it’s really not about using a pointer like “the brain is machine for physicality” as a means to find refuge, or as something to keep repeating to yourself to avoid facing the brain/thoughts. Don’t try to use an understanding as an armor to protect yourself; when you start doing that you enter into a state of fear again – all kinds of defensiveness is an act of fear, and it does look like you are using this understanding as a means to defend yourself against the brain, instead of moving into a place of total allowing. In the place of total allowing, you don’t need any understanding, you don’t need to remember any pointers – you are just open to what arises, in totally empty handed manner. Anything you hold on to makes you a closed fist, when you hold on to nothing you are truly “open handed”.
The rumination (what you label as ocd) is not the problem, the problem is your fear of it. The more you try to protect yourself against it the more you build the momentum of fear within you (which accumulates as emotional energy of fear, arising as feelings of panic/anxiety), and it’s this imbalanced fear momentum that’s so painful to feel in your body. Courage/fearlessness is the dark nature you need to connect with in order to be totally open to allow what arises, this is the growth that you are being pushed towards through whatever “fierce grace” is working in your life – meekness is a symptom of an imbalance towards light nature.
Sen,
Yes, you are 100% correct. I could not see myself doing that, but now I see my behavior crystal clear.
I was trying to use understanding as a shield and program my head not to worry so much about thoughts, instead of allowing thoughts to come and face them.
In my physical life, I tend to be meek and soft instead of bold and courageous. I see it reflected in my physicality.
thanks Sen,
Anu
Dear Sen,
I have some new insights and opinions I want to share with you and would like to know your feedback
1. Fear – Fear is natural emotion and probably an element of our dark nature. It is normal to be fearful and only when we allow ourselves to be fearful, without labeling or believing it to be anamoly, can we allow fear to run its course and be released.
2. Rumination – Our brains are machines and machines are designed to repeat tasks. That is why we ruminate. It is ok and normal to ruminate and we will ruminate when we are going through a strong emotion. Only when we allow ruminations, can we release the emotional energy. Again, rumination seems be a “dark” nature element in our being.
In essence, I feel that that beside the mental momentum I have, my aversion to *dark* nature elements create resistance in my being, and block the release.
Dear Sen,
Please ignore my earlier question/comments.
The problem is when I forget that mind is not a big deal, I start believing every though that comes to my head. I automatically start resisting and fighting with these thoughts and want to push them away. It feels like a pandemonium.
I sometimes remember it and allow mind to “be”
The problem is when I start using this understanding as a technique, like you pointed, to avoid facing my thoughts. If I truly feel mind is not a big deal, I would allow thoughts to come and not fight/resist them or try to sort them out or use techniques/mantra to block them.
I have no idea why I keep believing so much of my mind or try to use techniques. Any suggestions/feedback?
Anu, it’s simply indicative that you still have a fear of your mind. The question is what exactly are you afraid of? it’s could be any of the below
– Afraid of facing the questions of the mind
– Afraid of the mind’s dark nature (its anger or hatred based thoughts)
– Afraid of the mind’s repetitive way of thinking
– Afraid of certain realities that the mind is pointing out (like dissatisfaction with your job or relationship)
– Afraid of some fantasies that the mind is projecting
– Afraid of certain desires in the mind
Ultimately, the practice of allowing is not a “technique” to get rid of the mind, it’s about developing the openness to be fearless towards the mind – not in the form of maintaining a “distance”, but in the form of truly exploring what’s going on in there. You cannot come to freedom through the blind use of “techniques”, freedom comes only through conscious understanding. The problem is that even an understanding like “the mind is not a big deal” can be used as a technique, where you simply use that as a means to ignore the mind. The mind is not your enemy, it only goes into an imbalance when you keep trying to suppress it’s natural personality and preferences, and when you sit in fear of its way of thinking.
Dear sen
I am reading ur articles and i really like ur attitude of life , i would be pleased if u kindly give me ur idea about money ? Sen please replay me , i need to knw ur idea , i am looking forward .
Ati, you can get some insights, on aligning with financial balance, in this post – Releasing limiting beliefs about money
Sen,
Some “anxiety experts” say distraction is a good technique in overcoming anxiety/panic. Do you believe that?
And, it’s still a Challenge to allow waves of anxiety without becoming “lost in the mind”. What pointer do you have for this?
I wish I could allow anxiety without “over-identifying” with it.
Slowly getting better!
KC
Casey, distraction created out of fear is still rooted in fear and hence it solves nothing, the patterns of imbalance (and past accumulation of emotional energy) stay in you and they keep attracting your reality that way. The waves of anxiety that you sense, coming up, are from your past accumulation of “fear” in the form of emotion – emotion is thought-energy stored up in your being, so your past thoughts of fear, which you identified with unconsciously, were stored up as emotional energy. This accumulation is what is being released now that you are consciously “allowing”, instead of looking for a distraction. You can of course follow your guidance on taking a break, through employing some distraction, if the release feels too exhausting – there is no need to “force” yourself to be too rigid about the release, trying to get it all over with too quickly, it’s important to be easy on yourself. So the distraction can be used as a break, and not as a means to trying to escape, hoping that it will solve something.
When you allow anxiety, don’t hold “distance” from it, just consciously feel the energy of anxiety through you, and let it be – don’t use some “pointer” as a means to keep your distance from what’s arising. Keeping distance implies “fear”, and fear just keep re-fueling the anxiety. The state of allowing is about “openness” to feeling what arises, without holding distance. You don’t have to “identify” with what arises in the sense of making a story about it, or buying into the thoughts, rather you just allow the feelings and the thoughts without holding distance, without shielding yourself in some way, don’t try to protect your being from the feelings that arise.
Sen i am totally where Anu is right now. wondering same thing he/she is wondering.
Hi Sen, I am really looking forward to this inner freedom. I recently emailed you but since I havent heard back I decided to try again on your blog. I…..like so many have found a huge relief in practicing awareness, allowing and letting go. It has been my saving grace. I have been struggling for so long to understand and get a grip, that I thought I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been riding this roller coaster up and down for so long, while trying to appear on the outside that I have got it all together and then one day it all came crashing down. I gave up trying. I use to keep myself so distracted from my thoughts and feelings that when I would lie down at night my brain would not shut up and I would be up for hrs, which turned into night after night. I just couldnt do it anymore. I quit everything tv, social networks, radio, friends. I just wanted to shut out all the noise but it felt like I was getting worse and headed for a nervous break down. Then I went from a nervous wreck to having no desire for anything. I was just about lifeless and scared that it wasnt going to change. I was told at one time, I was a high functioning depressed person and had generalized anxiety disorder. I refused to take medications and was determined there was a better way. I finally started searching for answers and found a spiritual healer, then found your website. I believe you are right about meditation and other practices only scratching the surface. The spiritual healer has helped me to get started with meditating and crystal healing, which has helped me to stay focused on specific areas of growth but I need to understand things. The way you have broken down the workings of our mind and light/dark polarities has taken me so much further in a shorter period of time. I am starting to feel inner joy and desire again, something I havent felt in so long. However, there is something that I continue to struggle with and I know it is one of the reasons I was cutting so many things/people out of my life. I seem to absorb other peoples energy quite easliy. Sometimes I just start picking up on things, it can be anything from thoughts, feelings they are having to pain and tension. This makes me feel very awkward. I try to just be aware of it and let it pass but last wk it was so strong with the person I was around it was overwhelming me until I was able to leave that person. I find it hard to have a close relationship because of this. Now that I am feeling more balanced, I am so much more aware of when it happens. I use to think I was losing my mind. I had my own stuff I was dealing with and at the same time picking up all this stuff from other people. I have been told this is a gift but feels like a curse. After reading your articles, it seems more like an imbalance. I have searched the internet and found everything from sensitive people, sixth sense, empaths to other spiritual things. The spiritual counselor gave me an amethyst stone to carry with me to absorb negative energy but I am not one to depend on these kind of things. I had a therapist tell me that it stemmed from something we discussed from my childhood. I dont have many I can talk to. I dont think anyone would understand or just think Im crazy/weird.
Any insight you can give would be greatly appreciated.
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to share with the world your knowledge and experience. I am always intrigued by your articles and want to learn more.
JS
JS, it’s one thing to be sensitive to the “vibe” of another person, and it’s another thing to latch on to that vibe within yourself. Basically, it’s the ego-force momentum (in the form of mind/emotional momentum) that has the capacity to latch onto a thought/emotion sensed from another person – in the absence of the ego-force in you, there will be no capacity to hold onto someone else’s vibe, and thus you won’t feel affected by it, even if you sense it – it will just pass through you, rather than anchoring into you. As you practice this state of allowing, the mind/emotional momentum (ego-force) will keep ebbing away since you are no longer unconsciously fueling them with your identification, and you will see yourself coming to a place of inner freedom where you feel free to be around any vibe without it having a grip on your being.
Sometimes i experience life in a different way. I sense in a new way. It’s like everything has changed. And this feeling doesn’t remain for long. I feel this way many times. Is that normal during release.
It’s normal to sense a shifting perception within through your growing awareness/understanding of life, however the old perceptions still have a momentum/force from the past accumulation and hence they keep coming back on surface. The practice of consciously allowing these old perceptions, when they come up, without identifying with them, causes them to start losing hold on your being and soon they run out of momentum, and you feel that you are living from your new awareness.
Sen
Again, I thank you for your inspiring articles. I have a question regarding reactions from the body when working on relaxed awareness and letting go of suppressed energies. I have a skin condition called Eczema and right now it is covering my whole body. It is very uncomfortable. Does this sort of thing intensify while doing this work of uncovering repressed emotions and if so, how can I work with healing my body as well as allowing the repressed emotions to come out?
Gary, an inner healing with respect to dissolving any momentum of imbalance in the mind (along with emotional clearing) directly reflects into external healing. Since the emotional energy is basically stored up in the body, an accumulation of emotional momentum of hatred, fear or sadness, acts as an “obstacle” to the cells having free access to “solutions” from the life-stream, or rather it blocks the flow of intelligence to the cells, and hence healing is delayed or suppressed, causing toxins/dysfunctions to keep accumulating. Emotional clearing, unblocks this resistance, allowing the body to reach for solutions more easily and thus instigates healing. The body will find its own harmony once you find balance in your being.
Sen. I need your advice.. is this ok to talk back to ppl in my mind? I kinda have it for a while and I just can’t stop doing it! Do I do this out of fear or maybe detox of emotions never happened! Thanks in advance!
IG, be allowing of the mind and its patterns/way of thinking, if it has this pattern of talking to back to ppl in your imagination, allow it to do so without being totally identified with it. It’s your identification that ends up giving energy to certain patterns which are mostly just draining and unnecessary. Without the fuel of your identification, the mind will keep dying down in its momentum and will no longer feel “out of control”.
Thank you, Sen for sharing the truth with us. I’m very grateful to you and life.
hey Sen is it easy to mistake the side effects of a release for anxiety, anger, depression, etc. ? I allow up to a point and then it seems like i’m overwhelmed. I still allow this but lately it’s like anxiety coming up in a different way than before, it’s more physical i.e. tremors, muscle twitches, tightness in stomach, etc. Anyway is this the detox/release or am I still not allowing and just being “anxietied out” lol.? Anyhow I really feel alot how Anu feels right now, been allowing stuff for awhile with up n down like results. One day I feel “normal” the next freaking out. What do you think? thanks bro
Kenny, anxiety, anger and depression as a “feeling” will arise during the release, it’s basically just the past accumulated load that’s coming up. And there are bound to be “physical” aspects to the release, since the release is happening through the body, and thus affects the physiology of the body. You can allow the mind to freak out and not freak out about it, it’s fine for the mind to feel a sense of concern or even panic about the bodily feelings which can be quite intense during some releases, depending on the emotional load you are carrying.
Hello Sen, I have a question regarding how our,”Space Of Being”communicates the wisdom,etc. to us. Is it communicated through the mind with language or is it kind of an intuitive urging or what? How do we know the difference when our mind is communicating verses this higher place. Thanks again for your inspiring articles and your taking the time to respond!
Gary, as long as there is a force of imbalance, it’s not really possible to know what is being communicated from where. So the first step is to not try to figure it out, and allow yourself the freedom to feel confused, or even anxious about figuring out. Right now you may have a fear of confusion, and you may want “clarity” to relief yourself of this fear – however, the path for you would be to first allow this fear of confusion fully instead of looking to find relief/clarity – this will allow a release of the fear momentum. When you are free of the momentum of imbalance in your being, clarity will be the natural state – it’s not something you need to figure out. The intelligence of life is always operational, there is no need to interpret it, you just need to be in the flow of it – and the less resistance you have in your being the more easily you stay in the flow.
Sen ,
can you advise i dont know what to do i have been through a nervous breakedown
twice in my life tme the last time was 18 years ago now i have been through alot of stress and because a frend refered back to my breakdown which i had no idea she knew about i was shocked and i feel very worried to the state of unable to fuction cleary can you advise what i should do to desress my self and also what you would advise to cope with one stress after another.
Hi Eliz, I hope you dont mind my reply back to you. I wanted to encourage you and tell you that it will pass as it did before but make sure you work through it completely. The best thing you can do is take time for yourself and slow down. Take walks in nature. Take time to look through these articles and print them out and re read as many times as it takes to sink in. I find myself going back over them many times. It has really helped me a lot.
I wish you the best!
Eliz, a nervous breakdown is simply an indication of a high emotional/mental momentum created through the accumulation of emotional energy and high brain momentum. A permanent solution is to go through a phase of consciously “releasing” this accumulation, quick fixes don’t really make any difference in the long run expect that they can create more suppression and thus more accumulation. You can read the below posts for insights on how to allow this conscious release of emotional and mental momentum
http://www.calmdownmind.com/allowing-the-release-of-suppressed-energy/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
Sen, thanks so much for your posts. I’ve been reading consistently for a few months now, and literally every step of the awakening/release process just as you described has happened to me. I have an issue though (and I’m sure I will end up looking back at this and laughing at it once I am past it):
I was reading through some of your posts and mulling them over before going to bed. While laying in bed, I began to be acutely aware of a release of resistance throughout my being, particularly in the chest/upper torso where the negative energy from my anxiety had been concentrated for several months. I began to feel strongly as though I wasn’t actually a person but rather a stream of conscious energy, just like you’ve talked about. My body physically felt lighter, I could breathe easier.. Everything was fine, until I realized that this source of conscious energy seemed to be limitless as it grew in intensity, like some great power that I wasn’t yet ready for. I guess I bit off more than I could chew at one time, I was actually losing connection with my physical being and sense of being a person. It felt like my consciousness could suddenly separate from my body at any moment and go speeding away never to return again. That was when I deliberately chose to snap out of it, because I was afraid of what might happen next. Basically I want to ask, does any of that seem like it makes sense to you or do I sound like a crazy person? Also, if I had kept going and allowed the awareness of being to fully permeate my senses what would have happened? Would I have astral projected, or what. Convince me that there’s nothing to be afraid of on the “other” side.
Nate, it’s really not about seeking assurance, rather about the freedom to go beyond a fear. What if you do astral project? I am not saying you will, but if you do, is that a problem? There are many people who do astral projection consciously, and they enjoy the aspect of visiting the non-physical realm consciously. As long as you fear aspects of life, you cannot find inner freedom – your mind will always hold you hostage to your fear.
Dear Sen,
Is the final phase of letting go painful for some? I am looking for some guidance through which seems to be the most difficult phase for me in the process of alignment and letting go. I have been very aware of changes that I have been going through over ther past three or more years and now I find myself in a very dark phase which makes functining in the world, in the ways that I have become accustomed to, very difficult and painful. I feel that I am letting go of all the old ego enhancing behaviors, actions, pursuits that I sought to define myself and make myself feel complete. I suddenly no longer feel the value of these pursuits, I feel that they are meaningless-pointless. but instead of feeling the freedom of seeing through the ego and all the illusions created by it, I feel great sadness, pain, even dispear to the point of wantng to give up. I really feel that I am stuck in two worlds as I have gathered enough knowledge now to intellectually understand truth but I feel that part of me is fighting to hold onto the old world. Could this mean that I have had a particularily big load of accumulated negativity that now needs to be released? I am worried that it is going to take me a long time to transition out of this phase ( my relationships with my children and husband are now becomming affected) In a moment of clarity my intuition told me that this is the final release for me . and I am holding on to the hope that this is true. I am looing for some reassurance or any advice on how to get through this difficult phase- are any others out there going through a painfull process of letting go at this time? It is very lonely process as I do not feel that there is anyone that I can speak to that is aware enough to really understand.
Thanks for your time.
A
Aeilioli, when you somewhere around 50-60% of the release (of the mind/emotional momentum or what I cumulatively refer to as ego-force), it’s a point of shift where the ego-force loses out its grip/intensity to a point where it can no longer stay in control. Around this point is when the intensity seems to be at the highest, for some people, because this is the point where the ego-force goes into a lot of anxiety/anger (since it’s losing ground) and creates several thoughts of doom and depression, also the emotional release is at its peak around this time. It’s important to understand that the ego-force is simply the unconsciously accumulated mind/emotional momentum, and though it’s only “energy” it has the intelligence to create thoughts, to create confusion and conflict. It’s just about riding this phase out, without getting anchored on the drama created by the ego-force. It’s true that it’s a lonely process, and even if could share it with others it’s still something you need to go through within yourself alone – it’s about connecting with this aloneness, instead of fearing it and looking for an external crutch, it’s this connection, with yourself, that brings you to a place of inner freedom. There are bound to be fears about “disconnecting” with the outer world (like your relationships), and temporarily that might be the case, and it can’t be helped since a period of isolation is almost inevitable during this process, before the “return of focus” starts happening again beyond the 70% mark (as mentioned in the post – Phases of awakening). Well-being remains dominant, even if your mind doesn’t see it, and relationships that are authentic in nature are not affected by this process, it’s only relationships that are not compatible with your true nature that dissolve.
aeilioli,
If you seek reassurance, or understanding that others go through it too – Yes! Reaching a stage of seeing close relationships change or end is frightening. But in the end, that is just another fear to let go. Is it your final release? Time will tell. If nothing else, getting through one layer of the emotional onion can at least reassure you when the next layer opens up – You’ve done this before and are able to do so again.
It can be unnerving to lean into the unknown – am I on the edge of a cliff? Is there anything to catch me? Just being afraid is the mind at work. As long as the fear is there, it is a sign that there is momentum or energy to release. So you let go and … ! … there is no cliff. Maybe a stumble or fall, but one from which you can stand up and push onward.
Good luck, and be open to giving yourself some comfort to stay grounded in daily life. Things seem to level out more and more as we go.
Hi Sen,
Thank you once again for your advice and reassurance. After writing to you I did begin to feel a shift in my negative emotional state back to a more peacefull state with less mind momentum. I am not sure if I am at the satge of return to focus but I definitely feel clearer and more able to function and to also connect to guidance. I have also noticed during this stage that my seeing/vision has changed. A course in miracles speaks about developing true vision during the process of comming into alignment and I have been experienceing this change over the years but recently the occurances of ‘light episodes’ is more frequent and I have begun to see a connecting white light arounds objects. Are you familiar with experience that ACIM speak s about and do you have any thoughts about the purpose of these vision changes?
Thank you again for your time and guidance.
A
Dear Aeilioli, My best wishes to you to transition this phase with relative ease.
I am also going through the transition now. In Sen’s way of describing, it took 4 years to move from phase 2 to phase 3. The release of fear was intense for me and it took just over 2 years. Now, after talking to Sen, I understand that I am in the process of releasing sadness. At the time of release of fear, my life situation moved me away from home for nearly one year. I understand through my personal experience that the release can be very very intense and painful.
Six months ago, I also felt that I was caught up between two worlds and wanted to give up. I still feel exhausted, I lack motivation to do anything and feel that there is no energy left in me. I feel that i have no energy now to analyse or resist anything.
I listen to Eckhart Tolle on youtube and keep in touch with this blog of Sen. By assuring you I am assuring myself that this phase would be over for us soon. Be kind to yourself!
hi sen.
I’m also confused with my release.
my first release was very intense with fear of being alone (ending a relationship). like panic level fear. i kept releasing n releasing. to the point i was comfortable w thoughts of being alone, this release was very intense but the duration was pretty short – about 3 weeks with decreased intensity each time.
so i thought i released many fear, and not much fear was present BUT i always felt restless, bored, empty. then i noticed i had so much hate in me. hate towards myself. this was tricky to discover because this hatred of self was disguised by unworthiness. hatred felt like aggression and anger; but unworthiness felt like weak, hopeless, helpless, depressed.
so i guess my mind had rationalized my hatred toward self and ended up feeling helpless from mind’s over analysis.
so @ times i release sadness.
and @ time its release if hatred.
but what i want to ask is, i feel like i pretty much have the same amount of fear and hatred in me.
but this release of hatred is not intense as fear.
so it feels like a slow….. release. little by little.
fear momentum was greatly reduced post release, but with self hate release, i dont feel much difference in momentum; nor the releasing intensity was as high as fear.
am i even releasing self hate momentum ?
thank-you
J, feelings of unworthiness are sometimes “masked” in the energy of anger mostly because there is a deep vulnerability that’s felt when one faces one’s feeling of unworthiness, lack, inferiority and confusion. So, in your case, if you see below the anger (in the form of hatred) you can find the presence of the feelings of unworthiness which can feel “depressive” in their energy. There is usually a lot of resistance towards facing these “low energies” which have a sense of depression to them, and this is the reason why one is not fully allowing of it, and hence their release feels slow. If you allow yourself the freedom to explore these feelings of unworthiness, by allowing them to come up in your awareness, even if it makes you feel depressed, you can allow a faster release.
Dear Sen,
I would like to discuss two things with you,
1. I also have feelings of unworthiness and every time I see people of my age I feel inferior. Previously I used to suppress this inferiority but now I allow it. But I feel very depressed when I allow theses feelings and my mind says ‘This is not the way to deal with it, you are going nowhere’. As you said I am just allowing the mind to be without answering it, but sometimes pointlessness and hopelessness sets in and I feel like these feelings would never go away. What do you have to say about this??Any guidance??
2.Is feeling hopeless, weak , pointless, stuck a part of the release. Its like after opening up I am feeling more and more vulnerable and inferior.
3.You said that the mind will hold you hostage for anything you fear.Currently my mind is throwing up fears like-
1You will be stuck forever
2You are getting it all wrong
3 When I feel pointless and hopeless it projects doom
4 Fear of emotional hurt etc
Currently my understanding is that if I fear any of these fears I will remain shackled to it. So I am allowing them freely. So if the mind says ‘you will be stuck forever’ I allow this thought and feel it. So if I allow it its intensity will reduce and I will be free of that fear.If the mind says ‘you will remain vulnerable forever’ I allow it without answering it. In this way maybe all the fears and insecurities will reduce if I just allow. This includes feeling pointless. So if I allow pointlessness even the intensity of feeling pointless will reduce. In this way my mind will not hold me hostage for anything. Am I right??? Really thank you sen.
Viraj, it’s quite normal for the mind to throw up thoughts of doom, meaninglessness and inferiority (especially when mind is rooted in “comparison” through a limited/narrow view). The fear of being stuck forever is also a very normal fear during the phase of release – it’s all part of the mind being dramatic. You are on the right track in that you are developing the capacity to allow the mind, without suppressing it or identifying with it. With time you will sense an inner confidence towards not feeling so fearful about the mind, this is the beginning of inner stability.
This post explains so much why I was having random negative thoughts out of the blue. I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts for no reason and a lot of fear. But it eventually vent out when I just allow it vent out on its own. So I believe it was just part of the release this site has help me so much with my life. Thank you Sen for sharing this knowledge.
This was a most helpful article, also the linked ones. Thank you so very much!
You’ve clarified quite a few essential things for me.
recently I have felt the need to stop meditation because it felt efforted and seemed like I have to work this hard to get to this level of meditation. Before I started to meditate to feel better and wanting to get rid of the anxiety / depressive feeling but now that I have learned to allow and not resist I don’t feel like its a need to meditate. What do you think?