Love in the absence of power becomes dysfunctional as does power in the absence of love.
It’s just that a person who is imbalanced towards the nature of love is usually seen as the “victim” while a person who is imbalanced towards power is seen as a cold-hearted jerk or something evil – they are both being “negative” because of their imbalance.
One is not worse than the other, they just differ in flavors of negativity.
A person imbalanced in love gets a lot of sympathy while the power-imbalanced person doesn’t. If you are getting a lot of sympathy from people and are surreptitiously enjoying it (or finding relief in it), or if you like entering into a state of self-pity, it shows that there is something very imbalanced in your state of being.
You can give yourself the balm of seeing yourself as the “good person who got victimized”, and subconsciously get a high from it, but it doesn’t do anything to make your life more functional.
There is also the constant propaganda, in many teachings, that reference “love” as the ultimate solution to all evil (evil is just another word for imbalanced behavior). However the reality is that a balance between love and power is what ultimately creates the dissolution of imbalance. Love alone is ineffective, just as power alone is ineffective, towards dissolving negativity.
Each of us, being created in life-energy, has access to the nature of love (light nature) as well as the nature of power (dark nature), and no-one is an exception.
It’s just that the realm of “physical living” can create a lot of imbalances based on physical design, and until one becomes aware of one’s ability to find “conscious balance”, the tendency is to keep fueling the imbalances that seem to be imposed.
For example, consider a lion and a deer. The lion by its physical design is a predator and thus a soul inhabiting this body is very likely to get imbalanced towards power. The deer on the other hand is physically designed to be docile, depending on its meekness to protect itself by running-away from danger at the slightest hint of it, and a soul inhabiting this body would very likely become imbalanced towards over-sensitivity/meekness.
In fact, even the physical features, or the “looks”, of a lion are threatening whereas the looks of a deer are endearing/tender. It’s very common to compare people, who are imbalanced towards power, with lions (or some other predator), while people who are imbalanced in love (over-sensitive/meek) are compared to a rabbit or deer.
This is just an analogy to give you an understanding of how the physical body, that you inhabit, can have a certain design that causes you to become imbalanced towards a certain nature, of power or love.
If you take this perspective one-level higher, and think about the non-physical realm, it can be imagined that the balanced “source” energy is split into two streams – the dark-natured stream and the light-natured stream.
Creations stemming from the light-natured stream, including souls, are polarized in an imbalance of love, whereas creations stemming from the dark-natured stream are polarized in an imbalance of power.
Why should a balanced source create two imbalanced streams?
Basically, for the experience of a conscious understanding of your nature of balance/wholeness it’s required that you have an experience of imbalance. Without experiencing imbalance you can’t ever “know”, or appreciate, what balance/wholeness is, just like you can’t know what sweet is until you know what sour is.
You need contrast for realization. Imbalance is not a mistake, it’s a requirement towards the experience of conscious-balance, and in that sense imbalance has a value to serve.
Irrespective of your current imbalance, and irrespective of the physical proclivities you may have in your current body, you can bring forth a balance in yourself (balancing the light and dark, or love and power aspects) through your awareness/consciousness.
No-one is doomed to imbalance, it’s just that it takes a certain level of awareness to work on conscious balance; if you’ve reached a point where you can be aware of your imbalances it would mean that you have enough awareness to bring forth a conscious balance (if you are willing to, without making excuses).
Freedom requires connection with power
It can be said that it’s not love that brings freedom, it is power that does.
Love is required to temper your power so that it does not get out of hand. If you feel like you don’t have a sense of freedom in some area of your life, that you desire, it’s simply an indication of a lack of connection with inner-power.
For example, let’s say that you are addicted to smoking and find it to be like an “imprisonment”. That’s an indication of powerlessness. You can be a very loving person but that will not help you find freedom from the addiction. What’s needed is a connection with power.
To cite another example, let’s say that you are highly attracted to a person, but you also see that the attraction is not serving any purpose (or may be it’s dysfunctional), and you feel like you are becoming a prisoner to this attraction. It would be an indication of powerlessness on your part. The only way you can come out of it is by connecting with your inner power to a point where it over-rides the pull of attraction.
To be stuck in situations like financial instability, where you constantly feel powerless because of financial lack, or aspects like social anxiety, where you feel powerless towards other people (and their behavior or judgments), is all an external manifestation, or externally induced experience, resulting from the reflection of the lack of inner-power (the outside is the reflection of the inside).
Love is a great healer, but it’s not very useful in contexts where you need to find your freedom. To try to use love to solve everything is a very narrow-minded approach, or a rigid approach, that will have imbalanced consequences.
When I talk about the “state of allowing”, a lot of people take it as some pointer towards “love”. They start equating it to some technique about “trying to love everything that arises”, and so they come back stating that “I can’t be okay with a lot of things that arise, though I keep trying to be okay, trying to be loving towards it all”.
In truth, the state of allowing is an openness towards the balance of dark and light aspects in you, which means that it can’t just be about connecting with love. Being open to what arises, doesn’t mean that you have to be “loving” towards what arises, so if hatred is what arises then allow that aspect in you without guilt, without justification, and if agitation is what arises in you then allow this agitation, without trying to force peace, without trying to get loving.
Allowing is an “inner work”, to allow something in you doesn’t mean that you have to take external action towards it, for example, you can allow a huge load of anger/hatred towards someone, internally, without suppression, without needing to exhibit an action like throwing a tantrum, or “things”, at that person. Allowing a feeling/thought within you, doesn’t mean that you will take action on that feeling/thought – the allowing is just a way to bring forth a balance of energy within you, caused by a release of imbalanced momentum, so that your actions can then come from a balanced place.
There are some people who try to practice the state of allowing as some “technique” to find relief from their imbalances. Of course, the state of allowing is ultimately going to bring an inner balance and thus a relief from the momentum of imbalances, however if your attitude is one of “I just want relief” then you are already operating from a very powerless place, and hence cannot truly connect with openness (state of allowing).
When I read some comments that go along the lines of “I am trying to allow, but I don’t seem to get any relief from my fears/agitation”, it seems apparent that the they are simply using the “concept” of allowing without connecting with the “attitude” of true allowing.
The attitude of true allowing is when you stop caring about the end-result of finding relief, or finding anything extra-ordinary, when you stop wanting an escape, when you can allow yourself to be fully in the presence of pain/discomfort without needing a cop-out, when you can stop asking for peace and are willing to allow agitation in its fullness, when you can stop seeking assurance and can be fully allowing of uncertainty (the fear of it) – and if you really understood this attitude you would never say “I tried, but I am not getting it”, because your attitude would be to allow even this aspect of “not getting it”.
It takes a connection with inner-power to allow anything to “be” without cringing to its influence, and even if you cringe you can allow that without getting identified with this reaction.
Connecting with power is an internal choice
If the state of allowing is not giving you a taste of your power, as a being, it just means that you are not really in sync with the attitude required for openness.
Of course, if you can’t let go of defending your powerlessness then there is nothing that can be done for you. When you start defending your powerlessness, you are making an internal choice to side with it, it becomes an excuse, it becomes an internal belief, it becomes a habit, an addiction, which you are not willing to let go of though you keep saying that you want to let go of it.
Without making a commitment towards letting go of defending your powerlessness, you can’t really internalize the teachings towards finding balance. There is no force that can over-ride your sense of inner-power, once you make a choice towards, and that’s what true freedom is. There are people who feel helpless to their fears, to their anger, to their attraction, to their passion, to their external situation, and in all of this is the indication of a disconnection with inner-power.
It never feels good to indulge in powerless behavior, it saps your energy, it drains your sense of confidence, it degrades your character, it hacks away at your integrity and leaves you feeling miserable to say the least. And yet, a lot of us, constantly, keep choosing to connect with behaviors of powerlessness. If you look at it, aspects like jealousy, seeking approval, chronic complaining, playing the blame game, self-pity, defensiveness, power-games (seeking control through imposition), emotional neediness, are all aspects of powerless behavior.
If something can influence you to the point where you lose your sense of stability, wisdom and character, it shows that you are not fully connected with your sense of inner-power. When you are truly connected with your inner-power, nothing can influence you in a manner of creating instability.
When I say that connecting with inner-power is a choice, it’s simply a direct pointer to the fact that ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to connect with an attitude of power which eventually allows you to integrate the nature of power in your being.
You can visit as many therapists as you want, you can have as many spiritual retreats, but in the end unless you make an internal choice to get in touch with the attitude of openness, aligned with power, you can’t come to a place of freedom within you. Inner freedom in its true sense is a freedom to exist without being “influenced” into instability by any force. You cannot become free of the dark and light nature aspects of living, but you can become free from becoming “unstable” under their influence.
You can feel anything, and you can think anything, without getting lost to its influence, always having a space of freedom that allows you to remain stable and objective.
The cost of connecting with inner-power
A reality of life is that everything has a cost attached to it. You can’t get something for nothing – you need to let go of something in order to get something. There is no such thing as having the best of both worlds.
This is the reason why I talk about the ordinariness of life. Nothing is a “perfect” condition, nothing is extra-ordinary because everything has an aspect of dark nature along with light nature.
This includes finding inner freedom or finding a balance towards the state of power. There is a cost attached towards finding this balance, and the cost is the loss of “imbalanced drive”.
You may think that losing the imbalanced drive has to be a “good thing”, but that’s a relative perspective because one can say that having an imbalanced drive can allow for a lot of thrills and excitement, and losing it can feel like a real loss. A balanced drive has very different feel than an imbalanced drive, it lacks the “punch”, rather it has a very neutral sense. It’s not dull but it’s not exhilarating either, it lacks the dreaminess and even the deluded innocence, rather it feels very objective.
For example, in a state of imbalance, the feeling of being attracted to someone can be very exhilarating. It creates a drive or a motivation that stems from the desire to be with this person accompanied by a lot of delusional thinking about how “perfect” life can be with him/her. The heart feels upbeat, the brain feels a constant rush of all the good feeling chemicals (especially from aspects of anticipation), and it can all feel really great.
However, before you know it, you start feeling powerless to this attraction. The object of your attraction starts having a power over you. The fact that the attraction feels so good also becomes the reason why you feel this helpless pull towards “wanting” the object of attraction.
It’s just like how a drug addict gets hooked to the amazing feeling of “high” that he/she feels every time the drug is injected, eventually feeling helpless towards wanting that feeling/sensation.
As you can see, everything comes at a cost, in this case the feeling of attraction comes at a cost of loss of power/stability. You can start becoming needy, anxious and restless, owing to the obsession with your object of attraction, and motivations can stem from this place of powerlessness, eventually resulting in some form of an imbalanced reflection.
To stay true to your balance you have to make the choice of letting go of all motivations that are driven by the state of powerlessness. This has to be your attitude, the internal choice that you make irrespective of the consequences. If you feel powerless towards something, you would have to make the choice to let go of being pulled by its force in a very conscious manner.
It can/does feel painful but if you are afraid of dealing with pain then you can’t find inner-freedom, because you will give up your power the moment pain arises.
As you stay with this attitude of letting go of being pulled by the force of powerlessness, soon enough all the drives, that are rooted in imbalance, start losing their momentum – this is how you find a connection with power at the cost of letting go of the excitement, drama and fascination, of the imbalanced drives.
Some of the common drives that can get rooted in imbalance are as below:
- Sexual drive – being fascinated by aspects of sexual attraction or energy.
- Drive for adventure – fascinated by the high of risks and on-the-edge activities.
- Emotional attraction – fascinated by the emotions instigated by the object of attraction.
- Sensual drive – fascinated by sensual indulgence mostly in the form of taste and smell.
- The drive of discipline – fascinated/addicted to the aspect of suppression and control.
- The drive of intellect – fascinated by aspects of thinking/reasoning/philosophizing.
- The drive of aggression – fascinated by gore, violence and rage (found as the basis for the success of most gore based video games).
- The drive for success – fascinated by the high of achievement and recognition.
In a state of low-awareness, people are just lost to different kinds of drives. It’s like they are driven by these drives like a robot. A higher level of awareness is to realize how helpless/powerless you’ve become to the drives, and usually this awareness can come through when you are suffering from the imbalance created by the drive. As you grow further in awareness, you can no longer give in to a drive, you can no longer continue fueling the powerless behavior.
This is usually when you might start looking for ways to find inner freedom, to gain your sense of stability, to overcome the suffering created in this place of helplessness. The most direct way is to go through a phase of release where you consciously let go of connecting with the pull of the drive, without suppressing it in you, this basically what the state of conscious allowing is. The release allows for the momentum, of the drive, to ebb away, and the drives no longer have a pull over you, enabling you to stay true to your sense of power and wisdom.
Losing power based on deluded thinking
If you think that something is “extra-ordinary”, it’s very likely that you will have a sense of powerlessness towards it. When you have a sense of extra-ordinariness towards something it’s quite a given that you are rooted in some form of a delusional thinking, because in reality everything is deeply ordinary (simply because everything has a mix of light and dark). This sense of extra-ordinariness can come from a place of innocence, ignorance, low-awareness or just an unwillingness to see reality, as it is, out of fear. When you give something an extra-ordinary status, you become powerless to it and your actions take a “slavish”, or servile, flavor, thus losing the sense of inner-freedom. This is when you start feeling imprisoned, and can start losing your sense of character, integrity, esteem, responsibility and reason, going deeper and deeper into the enslavement.
A realization that is bound to set in, as you grow in awareness, is the deep ordinariness of life – not in a negative sense of feeling dull and drab, but in an objective sense of seeing reality in its wholeness of light and dark.
You can then no longer hold on to delusional thoughts about anything or anyone – no feeling, no idea, no person, no object, creates a sense of extra-ordinariness in you. When nothing feels extra-ordinary to you, nothing can influence you towards instability.
However, this sense of “ordinariness” cannot just be a conceptual idea that you use as some protective mechanism to feel superior/good about yourself, neither is it meant to be some philosophical outlook towards life, it is something that you naturally come to understand, in your being, as you find inner-freedom through the state of allowing.
You can love without having a sense of awe towards the object of love, you can have an interest without being lost of the interest – when you can do this it would mean that you have a balance between love and power, in yourself.
To be lost to love is weakness, and it is delusional, and it does bring forth an eventual crash.
True balance is when you can be attached and detached at the same time. It’s not a paradox, it’s just the natural state of being when you have an inner balance – you are not powerless to your attachment and you are not powerlessly trying to detach either, you don’t detach from a place of fear but you can detach at will when needed and you don’t get into the emotionally-leeching experience of smothering someone/something with your attachment.
To be lost to love can be a beautiful experience until it starts revealing the degrading effects of your powerlessness. In a state of balance you will lose the innocence, and spark, of blind love but you will have the wisdom to attract stable relationships which are not draining to your functionality as a being – this includes relationship with your work/expression, with your sensitivity, with your mind, with people, or life in general.
Good post, Sen. Will you follow up with one about the dark side of this imbalance, too? That is, one who is overly attached to power or control, but less connected to love? My experience lets me relate to this post, I’d be curious to read your view of what the dark-natured person might be in this context.
What you said about allowing as a practice as opposed to an attitude, when I am in the middle of a layer of detox, sometimes, I can feel my mind trying to turn it into a technique, to get it just right, to TRY to be aware, or allowing, as opposed to just doing it. Sometimes it takes a while, but when I eventually do realize that I’m being sucked into this, it usually goes away immediately and the difference between my inner wholeness and my negativity becomes much greater, until the layer subsides. So what you’re saying is that your inner wholeness is not something to actively USE to dissolve the negativity, but something to connect with while the intensity of your negativity does what it is trying to do anyway, which is leave the body.
Also, just to get it right. Your imbalances ARE naturally trying to leave the body, but its your ego, not you, that wants to hold onto them to fuel itself, but because you can take the ego to be who you are, you eventually find that it is YOU who is trying to hold onto the imbalances?
Even though my old fears/hates/angers are taking a while to deal with, I have gained enough awareness to not attract any new fears into my life; the last one happened two years ago, when I developed a fear/hatred of music (which I used to really love. I still do, but if I listen to certain songs I used to enjoy, it ends up not being worth it, like trying to eat an electrified ice cream cone). I blamed my brother’s friend because he lived with us for six months and would drum on EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME, despite the fact that we told on a constant basis him it was getting on all our nerves, and we couldn’t kick him out because he literally had nowhere else to go (which doesn’t surprise me). I also developed fears of many many other sounds because of this guy’s behavior (and my high mind momentum of course), and I thought my life was over until I found your site. Even though I still curse him out once in a blue moon, in moments of intense negativity, I am on the path to forgiving him, because he’s not smart enough to realize what he was doing (you can ask anyone I know).
Just like you said in other posts, sometimes it feels like I am nearing the end of my detox (it feels like it has hit auto mode, but I’m not sure, but I mean to not worry about that), only to be struck by another suffocating layer of negativity. I have been detoxing for quite a few months now, but every once in a while, I do find myself getting swept up in the negativity and blaming and cursing the outside for the way I feel, feeling frustrated that these feelings STILL exist, and wondering if it actually does have an end, or if life is just jerking me around. This usually happens after a period of relief, though I am almost always aware of the fact that I am simply being swept up in the negativity during these moments, even during the actual moment its happening (though sometimes I end up just getting angry that i got swept up again – beating myself up for being negative, and fearing that I have delayed the release EVEN MORE!). I never really get stuck like this for long though (not anymore) and after a good several minutes I can usually allow the intensity to subside.
By this point, it feels like there are two people in me. One is the real me (the wholeness) and the other is a spoiled child tugging and kicking my leg and screaming what it wants at the top of its lungs. I indulged this little brat for ten years, and that whole time thought that was who I was!
And maybe this is not quite accurate, but I like to imagine this aligning process as a jug filled with water. The water represents the imbalance, and the tipping of the jug to let the water spill out represents the decision to align with balance. The water spills out, not all at once, but goes GLUG GLUG GLUG. Each GLUG is a layer of imbalance getting released, and the space before the next GLUG is the period of relief. Since each GLUG is more or less the same in intensity/amount, based on that alone it can be hard to tell when it is nearing the end; but sooner or later, inevitably, it runs out of water completely.
I’m not exactly sure why I felt the need to write all this, since there is not a whole lot in the way of questions, but once again I would like to say that your words have helped to put a whole new perspective on what I’m going through, and help to get/keep me on a better track. So thanks again!
This post helped further solidify the ordinariness of life for me. I’ve been able to point out the light/dark in every situation I could want or imagine. It may be helpful for people who are newer to the site than me:
Current: Unemployed and home all the time. (light) – No real responsibilities, can sleep late, can do what I want, no distractions from this process. (dark) – Incredibly boring, same few activities repeated over and over, very little money, and am isolated.
Imagined Future: Employed for 40 hours a week. (light) – I am occupied, I can meet new people, I can get money, and leisure activities would feel more rewarding. (dark) I would have to get up early, I can’t do whatever I want, work may not be that great, and leisure plans would revolve around the work schedule.
I am afraid of the feeling behind the balance though, because I keep thinking there will be consistent boredom, or at least the flavor of “ho hum” to everything, regardless if you were on a cruise ship or in the lake with friends (just referring to fun in general, because the cruise isn’t more extraordinary). The only reason I wonder is because I’m not there yet, so even if I asked a million more questions, I still wouldn’t really know. The feeling you describe seems like an emptiness, even though I know the external isn’t going to give you a lasting good feeling, so it seems pretty confusing.
Michael: “I am afraid of the feeling behind the balance though, because I keep thinking there will be consistent boredom, or at least the flavor of ‘ho hum’ to everything”
This sounds like someone whose old pattern is to rely on the external for joy. The difference is not that you will enjoy things less, rather that you will not be pulled by the possible joy as the strongest motivation. You make choices with wisdom instead of delusion.
“The feeling you describe seems like an emptiness, even though I know the external isn’t going to give you a lasting good feeling, so it seems pretty confusing.”
Far from being empty, it feels richer to me. When each experience or activity is done with intent and awareness, one gets more out of it. If one simply goes to work or cleans his house because he must (and does so while wishing he were elsewhere), he is not living right now. If I go to work or clean my house because it is the right choice today (and am present in the experience), I am living in the now – experiencing life. With this attitude, almost anything can bring satisfaction. Satisfaction is no longer limited to things that will give a short-lived high.
If I could tell my 19 year-old self what a typical day in our life looks like now, he would probably get quite depressed. Now I would not go back to the delusional imbalance of my youth for anything. Then I enjoyed life because I did this or that, or somebody liked me. Now I enjoy life because I am alive and aware. It matters little what I do or what somebody else thinks about it. Does that help answer your confusion?
Best thing i have read so far (and i am an ardent reader)!! So relevant.
I picked up the main idea in this post ie “ability to watch our thoughts or drives as a detached observer”.Then picking up the conscious will to take the balanced approach towards the fleeting thought patterns.We have a power to be powerful or powerless.I really liked your deeper understanding of the concept of “allowing”.Thanks very much for sharing such profound truths in a simpler and easy to comprehend words which were considered very extraordinary earlier.
Best Wishes!
Thank you Sen for this article, I can’t tell you how timely this is; everything that you’ve said resonates with me. I now feel quipped to make the necessary adjustments to create authentic balance. You’ve opened my consciousness to the fact that ‘everything is deeply ordinary’ – I look forward to allowing that concept to grow and establish itself in me. Blessings and peace, Prema
Outstanding Sen. Thank you for your helps and this article. I can start consciously with any objects that i feel powerless to it. If true balance is a state where everything is ordinary, that would be an ideal state for me, nothing can beat the calm, peaceful joy when I am connected with my being. But I am also afraid of feeling dull of everything though. One question Sen, for a guy, I am quite thin, and I am sure that this physical body that I inhabit is a sign of powerlessness, just like you said. When I am connected with the sense of power in me, or I can when I have reached true balance state, will my physical body change along with the change of my awareness and reflecting my balance of power externally through it?
thank you sen. very timely post.
simply brilliant. After reading this article I was able to sense what true freedom reallly is. Neither supression nor identification with state of mind. really eye opening. Thanks a lot for your splendid work.
I love this post by you Sen. For a few months i’v been struggling to get into this space of total allowing. I always wondered to myself whether i was doing it right, but the evidence was clear that i wasn’t. For instance, you mention that when one is aligned with the state of allowing, there will be no dont in you that you are on the right path, and i was feeling a lot of dout, and very shifts in my perception of reality. But since reading this post, i realised that my problem lay in an imbalance towards light nature, and i had no idea what dark nature was, so i couldn’t integrate into my awareness. And judging from some of the comments, it seems people were a bit confused about the dichotomy, and the essence (love and power) of light and dark nature, and how they integrate. But this post has cleared it up for me, i understand now, and now i feel the integration happening in my awareness., even as i write this comment. I know my journey’s just beginning,and it will be a bit challenging, but i have comfort knowing i am on the right path. I couldn’t thank you enough…
A couple of days ago, I felt something “shift” in me. I understood at that time that it was simply my being who became disidentified with the babbling of the mind. For quite a while, I was able to stay as this space of relaxed awareness, and it felt really great, really freeing.
But now mind has come back into full control and I can’t seem to reach that place anymore. Every time I sit to stay as relaxed awareness, it’s just my mind trying to no longer identify with itself, and I can’t simply allow this to be. Then I realize it’s just the mind trying to be allowing, which gets me even more frustrated and I try even more.
I’ve fallen into this loop, and its being very hard to go back… :/
Any help would be appreciated.
Waltz, you’re not regressing, it’s just that you got this “taste” when your momentum was low and now that more has come up to be released, you can’t feel the place you tasted. I was pretty relaxed last week, then more came up and I feel quite sluggish and get cramps all over my body. Not pleasant, but I know what’s going on, so there’s not much reason to worry.
Waltz,
Actually you dont need any help, continue allowing whatever is arises, either thoughts or emotions. Understanding or clarity indeed liberate you from the delusional mind, belief, or perspective. But remember, you had been lost in identification for years, the mind is still having it’s momentum, so this feels like you are having a regression or stuck feeling, but the truth is, you are not. It’s just that you aware of this pattern even more and get the understanding of it, you see though it, so the release is happening faster, the ego is suffocating, that’s why it keeps spewing those thoughts, it’s harmless, but quite obnoxious. I also experienced this kind of situation for a while, but recently life helped me a lot with all the events, the thoughts/emotions that was quite intense, now has reduced in intensity. I also got some understanding from the events and Sen’s blog. Keep reading Sen’s article, you will get a lot of understanding from it. Only you can help yourself by consciously allowing, be patient, life will assist you.
Hello Sen,
How are you?This is a very nice post.I wanted to ask you a few questions.I have a bit of fear and anxiety momentum left in me.Earlier I spent days deliberately facing my fears.I have been doing this for years.The reason was I thought I was making progress in reducing my fears.Though this has worked to some degree,it’s not helping me now.My mind produces guilt if I lose my power to fearful thoughts and bullies me to go and face them deliberately.This has been happening a lot since past few weaks.About fear momentum,I am still not comfortable with it when it arises.However after some 10-20 minutes it quickly loses it’s hold over me.Also my sensitivity is getting balanced slowly but surely.What is your opinion about the guilt that I experience?Also I am taking things very slowly and things have improved from worse to manageable since last year.Sometimes I feel like I am the only one going through this and I feel very disconnected from everyone.Again Thanks!
Sen!May I summarise your teachings?It is to allowing everything that comes from within,witness it and let go.Eventually learn from the wisdom which comes along.Take balanced decisions pertaining to your set up and move on!Importantly we are here to learn and enjoy life!Am I right?
Marcy, the need for simplicity should not come from the mental need for a “technique” to hold implement – allow, witness and let go, can easily become some kind of a mental technique (as some protective mechanism) that you start executing blindly, and that’s never the point of what I infer by the state of allowing. The deal of allowing is to be open to what arises in you (emotionally or in your thoughts) without trying to fight it, without suppressing it, or getting over-identified with it, irrespective of whether its dark-nature (like a strong feeling of fear, sadness) or light-natured (like over-excitement), simply allowing the momentum/intensity to come up in this openness. The momentum will keep getting released in this state of openness so that you can reach a place of inner-stability free of past momentum. From this place of stability you will have the freedom to operate on wisdom instead of operating by the pull of the imbalanced momentum (of emotions or thoughts), the way of living from wisdom while operating from the place of inner-freedom is what I call balanced living – of course the two core elements of living is growth and enjoyment, it’s not just about enjoyment and it’s not just about growth, a balanced mindset is aligned with both these aspects without suppressing either.
I have read this article for a few times already, and I finally grasp the importance of this inner power and the concept of allowing. Turns out that I was still clinging to the relief after release some times, so that’s why I sometimes feel that nothing is getting released. And I can feel the glimpse of inner power, it’s like I dont care about it, but not because of fear of the pain or the fear of fear, it’s like this-is-meaningless feeling, nothing special, and I can feel something that is indestructible force, the force of stillness, calmness, though it’s just a glimpse, but I can relieve for a while that I made progress. And like Sen said, it’s completely up to us whether to we want to connect with our inner power or not.
Sen,
I’ve always thought – once I finally “get enlightened”, then I will be able to “truly love”, to be in “true peace, happiness”, sense a “true” energy of life, vitality…
It’s what most of other spiritual teachers has told – when you listen anyone of them, be it Mooji, Adyashanti, Tolle or Osho – they all talk about the state of (out-of?)mind that is described always as something EXTRAORDINARY – they describes the deep peace, the deep sense of unity, and the vitality, and much stronger sensory feelings which allows to enjoy everything much better&deeper etc.
So, how it comes – when Tolle tolds about his experiences, like, for example, about how he enjoys nature or silence (he always spokes about it in a very enthusiastic manner, always describing it as something very very very beautiful) – it means that he is deluded? Or when Osho talks about the pure joy of dancing and singing – is he deluded too? They are talking about something which seemingly has no dark side of the coin – which is delusion according to your view… What is the “dark nature” elements in peace, joy, silence – the states of consciousness these teachers pretending to be living ALL THE TIME, 24 hours a day? So – are they deluded, or maybe there really is a possibility to live the life, inhabiting only (or mostly) the light nature aspect of it? For example, why it’s not possible to love with a feeling of awe, with a feeling of extraordinariness towards your beloved one and still be connected to your inner power, be independent? From what you wrote, it really turns out that life has to be something “grey and dull” – it will be stable and neutral ONLY then? I’ve always thought otherwise – when one becomes more stable/peaceful/enlightened, he will experience life much stronger, with more vitality, it will become more colorful, not grey… Is it really that there is only 2 “sets of life”:
1st “Life set”: strong positive emotions and strong negative emotions (i.e. “rollercoaster ride”
2nd “Life set”: weak/unimpacting positive and negative emotions/thoughts, neutral, dull state and stability/peace/wisdom
To me, it seems, that Tolle, Osho, Mooji and actually many other common people has found a third way to live – with strong stability/peace/wisdom but also at the same time with strong vitality and positive emotions – joy, happiness AND extraordinary experiences…
Questioner, I’ve never referred to the state of balance as “neutral/dull”, neither do I call it a place lacking vitality, I talk about stability and “ordinariness” but it doesn’t mean “dullness”, I call it a state where you can operate from wisdom without the motivation of imbalanced drive. To me deluded thinking and imbalanced drives are “over-excited” states that are contrary to the state of stability, and these states are present in people who keep clinging to some concept of “extra-ordinariness”, including several students/followers of the teachers that you mentioned – the teachers themselves may be balanced, but the way they use some words can delude the students (because the students don’t have a first hand understanding of what’s being talked about). There are innumerable seekers who spend years trying to get the “experience” of extra-ordinariness that they imagine the teacher is talking about, their imagination of extra-ordinariness keeps them stuck.
Just imagine, how you would describe an elephant to a blind man – you can describe it in the most extra-ordinary ways like a poet, or you can describe it in a very objective way. I prefer describing the journey of balance in a very objective way, that’s just my way of teaching. If it resonates with you it’s fine, if it doesn’t you would have to pursue something that resonates with you in your current awareness. I am not saying that the teachers who are more poetic are “wrong”, it’s just that their way of teaching is different – the only problem with “poetic” teachings is that they can easily delude a seeker, just like how a blind man can get a very distorted image of an elephant if the a poet describes it to him. But all teachings have their place, there are people with different levels of awareness that need different types of teachings, you can only resonate with a teaching that talks to you at a level that you can understand based on your receptivity and awareness.
The Buddha talked about the “Middle path”, he didnot talk about extra-ordinariness. He talked about the end of suffering (psychological suffering) but he did not talk about “endless bliss” – there is a difference between “no psychological suffering” and “endless bliss”. There is a story when a woman came to the Buddha with her dead son and told Buddha “I know you an extra-ordinary person, and you can bring my son back to life, and give me my joy back”, the Buddha told her that he would revive her son if she could bring a few grains of rice from a household in which there has never been a death. She went around looking for such a household, but she couldn’t find one, every household had experienced some form of death at some point. She came back to Buddha saying that it was not possible to find such a household, the Buddha said “In the same way, it’s not possible for me to do something that’s not aligned with the nature of life, I am not extra-ordinary”. Death is a part of living, and you can’t feel joy about death (unless you are forcing it in some suppressed way), but death is unavoidable (the birth of new requires the death of the old, if nothing died there would be huge imbalance), even if you are enlightened you will still feel sad about the loss of someone (if you don’t it just means you are disconnected with your sensitivity due to some deluded suppression) – of course you can call sadness also as “extra-ordinary” in which case I have nothing to say, it would just be the choice of words. In the state of balance you are not lost to sadness just like you are not lost to joy, that’s what stability is – it’s not dullness, it’s just balance.
In a state of stability you are no longer prone to aspects of psychological suffering because you have no “resistance” to the true nature of life (the light and dark nature elements of life, the yin/yang aspects of life), but that doesn’t meant that you are just clinging to “bliss” (pure light nature). Of course, some teachers can describe the state of “no psychological suffering” as bliss, but, like I said, it can give a very deluded picture to the mind a student. Growth is an inherent nature of life-energy, it’s not static, its nature is keep growing or moving forward. In the state of balance you are free of psychological suffering, but that doesn’t mean that you are free from the nature of growth – and growth always involves change, contrast, relative-improvement and challenge. If you imagine that you will reach a place where you can sit forever in the lotus position in eternal bliss, you are yet to have a clear view of the reality of life – the only problem is that a lot of teachers seem to allude to such a state based on their “extra-ordinary” words. If you look at Zen teachings you will see how they emphasize on the ordinariness of life, one of the core Zen teachings is “Chop wood, carry water, before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment” (Tolle refers to these teachings many times, so I don’t see how Tolle can be a proponent of some state of extra-ordinariness). Adyashanti also talks a lot about the deal of ordinariness, he never says that he’s experiencing an extra-ordinary bliss (in fact, in many teachings he talks about how most students are stuck in this wrong idea), he just talks about how all experiences have their place – the lows and the highs. The only difference between an unconscious state and a conscious state is the absence of “delusion”, the connection with reality.
Just consider this simple reality – “change is permanent, nothing is static in life”, change can bring joy but change also involves loss, and since everything is prone to change nothing is “extra-ordinary” or “perfect”, everything “dissolves”. The most amazing beauty turns into a withering state of decay with time, how extra-ordinary is the beauty if its so temporary in its presence? Again, it’s just the way things are described – someone can describe the same thing in a very beatific manner, but I would rather describe it the way I see it. I see life in a very objective manner, and I call spade a spade, but you can call spade as “a beautifully shaped, sharp tool, that is used to enjoy the amazing experience of digging sand” – the difference is the “poetic” nature of how its described. When I say “life is ordinary” I don’t mean life is “drab and boring”, I am just being objective about the reality of life which is an interplay of yin/yang or light/dark, you can’t have light without dark (light depends on dark to know its identity, joy depends on sadness to know itself as joy). The more aware you become the more likely you are to see the reality of life as it is, and after that it’s upto you how you describe it – you can call “ordinary” as extra-ordinary if you so wish, it’s just that the highest amount of deluded thinking, and deluded actions, happen under this imagination of extra-ordinariness (the communists in China were sure that communism was the solution to everything, for them the idea of communism was “extra-ordinary”, which they thought would solve everything and bring absolute order and peace, they killed millions based on this delusion – that’s the problem with delusion of some “perfect state”, it’s easy to make spirituality into one such idea).
Sen,
I don’t talk about “endless bliss” but about a living that’s basically connected only to light nature. And I can find many qoutes from Tolle and others which indicated that they are living this reality of light nature almost only (or mostly).
For example, in one interview Tolle was asked, if he had experienced some negative emotions in last years. He could remember only one time when he felt a small wave of irritation when he saw a larger dog biting the smaller one and the owner of larger dog did nothing to stop it. And at the same time Tolle talks about that in the background of his being there is always deep peace and joy (sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker – but always).
Well, if peace and joy is “ordinary” for you, then OK, for me as a person who has lived mostly in anxiety it seems “extraordinary” and rather anxiety seems “ordinary” 🙂 so it’s really just a play of words.
But – isn’t the constant joy and peace a “light natured state”? If it is, then these teachers are experiencing MOSTLY light natured state of mind, and their only “dark natured” elements are such very rare moments maybe, like Tolle described about the dog.
How about you? Aren’t you experiencing constant joy and peace? Isn’t it light nature? I don’t talk about the nature of events in external reality – of course, also Tolle has to experience deaths of a close people, I understand it, but I talk about internal state of mind – and if you can just be “lightly sad” (with peace still in background) in such cases which for many other people seems very tragic, and all the other time you are joyful and peaceful, vital and energetic, etc, then to me it seems a “living which is connected mostly to light nature of mind”. Just like there are also many people who are living mostly in dark nature of mind – depressions, heavy anxieties etc. Just in the case of living mostly dark nature, we are saying these people have imbalances, but in the case of living mostly light nature (like you or Tolle) – they aren’t imbalances, are they? Maybe that’s just the life streams truth – that it’s actually a positive force and thus to people who are not resisting to it, are opening an “unbalanced” possibility to live out mostly light nature states of mind… Or I’m not understanding something here?
Questioner, basically the way I use the words “dark nature” and “light nature” are very specific to my way of explaining – I don’t use “dark nature” as something “negative”. I use the term “imbalance” to refer to the negativity. Some teachers, and some writers, can use the term “dark nature” to refer to the “dark forces” which is their term for referencing beings who are imbalanced in dark nature, and they use the term “light nature” or “feeling the stream of light” as reference to indicate the state of “balance”.
The way I use the term “light” and “dark” is similar to the chinese reference of “yin” and “yang” – there is a Chinese symbol which indicates a circle, half of which is white, half of which is black/dark, and in the white half there is a black dot, and in the black half there is a white dot – this symbol essentially describes “balance”. The symbol states that the light and the dark are two nature of life-energy, and light nature contains aspects of dark, and the dark nature contains aspects of light, and in a state of balance both these natures are complementing each other, they are in sync and hence one experiences a peace that comes from “non-resistance” to the nature of life, thus being balanced towards the nature of life. It’s possible to create a sense of peace through “suppression” of dark-nature – this is what I would a peace that’s imbalanced in light-nature. And it’s possible to come to an unwavering peace through the state of balance between light and dark. The peace that I experience, or what Tolle, or any other teacher talks about, comes from a state of balance between the yin/yang aspects, or light and dark aspects, that happens from allowing both these aspects fully, without resistance – this peace, or joy, can be called “balanced peace” or “balanced joy”, it has a different flavor to the peace created by suppression of dark nature where you find peace by trying to escape the influence of dark nature (like by taking drugs).
I use the term “ordinary” to reference this place of “balanced peace” simply because it’s a clearer way to explain that one comes to this peace by letting go of the need for “extra-ordinariness” – as long as there is a need for extra-ordinariness there will be resistance to allowing aspects like the low-states, when they arise, and hence there will be resistance to allowing an integration of the light and dark so that balance can happen within. In the state of balance, nothing has an “intensity” to it, joy doesn’t neither does sadness, that’s why I use the reference that nothing “feels” extra-ordinary, everything has an aspect of lucidity to it – its a joy, but it’s a balanced-joy. There has to be some way to distinguish the imbalanced-joy (the ones present in a deluded person who gets ecstatic when some events “gain” happen (because he thinks he’s got something extra-ordinary) and then gets deeply depressed when some events of change happen). You say that “anxiety looks ordinary to me”, but if that was true then you would have no problems allowing anxiety fully and be free of its grip, the fact is that anxiety looks extra-ordinary to you because of the strong momentum that it has in you, and you may be trying to escape it by trying to suppress it – it’s also true that your perception of finding some extra-ordinary state of peace is what’s keeping you from allowing what’s arising in you right now, because you feel frustrated with where you are and your fantasy of the balanced state causes you to get even more frustrated. Don’t worry about how the balanced state will look like, just find out for yourself through working towards inner-balance by allow the light and dark aspects fully in you. Until you find out for yourself, it will just be an imagination – my imagination of what I thought I would find, and what I did find were very different. The pointer that I emphasize on is that you can’t find inner-balance as long as you keep trying to suppress the dark nature aspects in you, it’s just not possible – balance can never be found through suppression of either light or dark, it’s found in the integration of both.
The problem with someone who has an imbalance towards light-nature (and these are usually the people who have strong anxieties) is that they are constantly trying to interpret teachings from their place of imbalance, and hence they keep seeing it from their lens of imbalance – for example, a person imbalanced in light-nature would imagine – “wow, it would be so amazing to have this peace and joy, without this nagging fear, without this sadness and loneliness”, but the teachers is not really talking about that kind of a peace, the teacher is talking about a natural peace that comes when you are willing to allow the dark aspects like fear, sadness or feelings of loneliness, with no resistance (just like how you can allow joy without resistance) and thus allow for the imbalanced-momentum to be released, so that a state of balance can get established – the state of balance is not indicated by the absence of dark, but by the allowing of dark along with the light. Tolle refers to the same state as “allowing what arises in the present” and Adya refers to the same when he says – It’s not “freedom from”, it’s always “freedom to” (essentially meaning that balance is not gained by seeking freedom from something, but from the freedom to allow everything, be light or dark, thus reaching non-resistance, this non-resistance is the foundation of openness that I talk about, which is felt as the background of unwavering peace).
Wow! Great post Sen. thx
Great post, and great questions “Questioner”, and in turn great response Sen. I too have read a lot of other teachings, and often wondered how they fit in regards to each other, and that helps.
Thnx
Thanks, Sen, you bring clarity as always.
It’s interesting that some intuitive voice in me said already before I red your answer: “don’t try to imagine the state of balance so much, just see it for yourself!”
I’ve been practicing the allowing some half-year now, also listening BrainEv (currently 3rd disc), it has brought me to just a bit calmer and a bit more stable state of mind, yet I notice there are still many imbalances in my thinking and high mind and also emotional momentum. It’s like coming and going in circles – when I’ve seemingly “seen through” one aspect, then comes the other one, then the next one, etc, until the first one returns after a while.
I’m not sure I’m really allowing. Maybe my “allowing” is most of the time just very refined suppresssion mechanism of the mind? I know, I shouldn’t worry about it, and allow even possible suppression, but still… How to differentiate a real allowing from the mind’s faked one (actually a suppression)?
Sen,
Many thanks for your insights throughout your blog which have proved to be incredibly useful to me. I think you have referenced Mooji in past posts; can you recommend any of his books or teachings?
Thank you,
Ophelia
Greetings dear Sen,
The way I see “power” and “love” in my journey toward
Wholeness is that they seem to be one in the same. By
saying that I mean that “love” to me is openness, allowing,
and non resistance which are essential in instigating the
release of accumulation and momentum but more importantly
, the sheer definition of Openness, Allowing and non Resistance
is love itself. As the power of
“Allowing” grows, the release becomes more intense and so
the feeling of fear associated with conscious release, over time
becomes more fleeting and less intense. Again, I can only reference
these words as they pertain to my reality in this journey thus far.
The more open and allowing I am of the release, the more that
love and power seem to be one in the same.
I guess that’s what Oneness really means, that they ARE one
in the same, but the underlying true identity of all is indeed
Love, Joy and Peace, our true nature…
Anyone can find this out for him/her self, it’s available to all of us.
All these words WILL lead to this understanding but its also
important to emphasize that there is an “inner work” requirement
that is unavoidable and quite necessary in order to reach freedom
and once you sense your freedom the journey doesn’t stop, it
continues.
Markus: I can get an idea of what it may be from your perspective, but of course having not had it yet, I can only project guesses. As for the understanding in your first little chunk, I do get that. How long did it take you to go through the phase of release? I’m about 5 months and the external is unearthing a lot of things in the form of people and because of the feelings they bring up, my ego is going “No, no, no”, so it’s a tough time and quite disorienting. I can only assume that this is the final strong breaking point required, so I’m looking forward to getting through it. When cleaning your house is there any “*groan, I don’t wanna do this” in it? The boredom I’m experiencing is quite excruciating, so it’s a bit hard to see a reality that doesn’t contain a decent amount of it. it feels like what I’m doing isn’t my life, as if the activities I’m doing have to belong to someone else. Does that make any sense?Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.
Michael, last summer I was in the midst of another round of my ‘wake up call’. I struggled terribly and did not know what to do. As an answer to my need – and more importantly, a willingness to give up my own ineffective mind/ego response – I found this site. Am I ‘through’ the release? I don’t know – the drama is gone, the hyper mind is now calm, the need to be liked is mostly gone. So mind momentum has nearly run out. Maybe it will trickle along for a while yet. That is ok. After all, if it must happen, what better use of my attention is there, anyway?
There were indeed ‘breaking points’ that stand out. A shift that put to rest an old habit that led to suffering, or opened greater awareness of the truth about something in my life. It does feel confusing – maybe our being is shedding the ‘old’ for the ‘new’, but the mind cannot deal with it at the moment.
—
When cleaning, to keep that example, at first I resisted. Maybe there was another chore to do, or a hammock that ought to be used. I’d then think ‘why clean?’ with the idea of light and dark nature, to make it a choice. By choosing to clean, it becomes my ‘now’ – will I live it well, or be absent-minded and miss the experience? This is what makes daily living richer for me.
Also, if the outside reflects the inside, why would I not clean? I’m cleaning up my mind and being, my home reflects this to me. Some days the hammock wins, or some other choice. No judgement, just choose something and do my best right now.
hi sen,
I’ve been hit with an insecure moment thru a relationship.
at first I felt lost but later as I calmed, realized that it was that neediness in me thats still running in the deep core of my subconscious.
and was able to allow feelings of neediness(fear).
as well as feelings of helplessness towards this attraction.
my question is, sometimes when I stand firm towards this ‘helpless attraction’ n momentum has lowered, I feel indifferent towards my bf. and then another worry/fear kicks in: if I become indifferent, how will the relationship sustain?
I’d also feel: what is the whole purpose of having a relationship? it suddenly feels like he is my roommate.
this lasts briefly, idk if this is what balanced relationship feel like, but it definitely feels like.. like I’m in a relationship out of responsibility. because it throws out that ‘want’ing feeling.
so if I start treating him like a roommate, and lets say that I’ve also allowed this fear of him being like my roommate n reduced my momentum a lot. how will the relationship sustain ?
If i ‘let things go and not really care’, wouldn’t this give some sort of me being ‘too lenient’ message? and become doormaty?
is this low momentum? or is this my mind made ‘indifferent’ state, out of fear of intimacy?
its confusing.
Sen,
you have wrote that when one has strong enough awareness that he can “see the negativity like he sees his hand” then he has a capacity to let go, allow, release it.
Am I understanding right – if I’m able to detect most of negative patterns (thoughts and emotions) in my mind, then I’m already able to start to allow it – irrespective of the fact that I’m still getting sucked in those thoughts and emotions, still more or less believing them and getting identified with them?
Basically my question – how strong un-identification should be before one can start really (productively) allow? My concerns is that if I’m trying to allow the negative flow while I’m still getting identified with it, then I will end up not releasing, but reinforcing it. Because identification reinforces the negativity, right?
This is confusing me long time and it seems Im a bit stuck on this although have gone through some part of release, and seem to be a bit more stable overall. I seem to be like “dual” – one part of my awareness are able to detect the negativity and (seemingly) differ itself from it, but the largest part of my awareness (I think, at least some 80%) is still identifying with it. Should I keep developing understanding (that I’m not the mind), keep seeing through mind tricks at this point, until I feel at least “majority shareholder” (51%) 😀 of my awareness belongs to awareness itself, not mind, or am I able to already jump of the cliff to allowing?
I see contradictions in which you’ve wrote regarding to this topic – for example, in one article you say: first you have to become unidentified from mind, see that you are the space/awareness, before allow; in other article (or answer to comment) you say like this – don’t try to find an escape from negativity in understanding that you’re not it. So, how it is: should one clearly see (and, if necessary, remind himself many times) that he aren’t the negativity/resistance, or is this reminding just another another quick relief strategy? (but Mooji also says, that it must be reminded many times, that one is not his mind)…
Questioner, the “contradictions” may appear as such if you don’t look at all the points separately and then put together what they all mean.
In the first point, of course you have to become a little bit unidentified with the mind, which is basically what happens at the very beginning, the “light bulb over your head” as it were, where you realize that your mind isn’t you.
In the second point, what is meant is that although you are not the negativity, don’t go “I’m not the negativity” as some sort of cop out of facing it. You will have to face everything you suppressed in unconsciousness. Just because you are not the negativity, it doesn’t mean that the process won’t be painful at times.
You don’t need to remind yourself that you’re not the negativity, your mind may end up saying that (as mine did/does sometimes), which is fine, if it does, allow it do to so without trying to put the proverbial leash back on. If you’re consciously telling yourself that you’re not the negativity or some sort of “It’s all good” schtick, then you’re trying to blanket the seriousness of the problem. In a way it’s not really serious, it just requires a maturity and authenticity to go “I made some patterns in unconsciousness, now I have to face them for them to be dissolved” (of course you don’t repeat that, it’s an unsaid basis for why you’re doing this)
I have not listened to or read anything from Mooji, but don’t take everything you read from a teacher as some holy grail. Lots of what they write makes sense (like what Sen writes makes the most sense to me), but there are things that don’t make sense to me, such as other planets and mainly after death stuff, which is fine. In addition to that, there was some stuff that didn’t make sense to me that he wrote that eventually did (as my awareness/introspection abilities grew). Just don’t swallow anyone’s line whole, you need your own reasoning abilities as well.
A little addition onto that last paragraph, in the past month or so, I started making YouTube videos talking about this sort of thing (mostly just my view on different things relating to it). I don’t mindlessly parrot things I read and I don’t go “according to Eckhart Tolle…..” unless I’m talking about a certain thing he said that I possibly resonated with or found interesting. Just like I don’t talk about Law of Attraction, I blatantly state “LOA is what I believe in, but I have not experienced it for myself enough yet, so I will not make a video about it until I have experienced it more, I’m not going by third party experience”.
The way that a lot of people go about that (if they were to make videos, I’m sure the same holds true for regular speaking or writing) is they read a bunch of stuff they find interesting and start repeating it back to people. Something that religious people do is they read the Bible and a hundred websites quoting and parroting the Bible and then go on thinking they’re a wise teacher. How do I know that? I was one of those people 3 years ago who made videos about Christianity. Of course my words were hardly original, as the whole basis of modern day Christianity (or at least the extremism I was involved in) is to be spoon fed a doctrine as the absolute truth and then try to justify your life accordingly.
When I reply to people on here (and I only answer questions that I have wondered and then understood myself) I try to mix my own experience into the answer. If someone asked “How do I slow down my mind?” I could go “Be aware of it” which would of course be of no help, because they would’ve read that 5 minutes prior in an article and didn’t get it, which is why they posted the question.
A better answer and one that I would give would be something like “You slow down your mind by removing attention from it. Thoughts are fueled by your unconscious attention, which is why people feel so helpless to their mind’s pull when they’re not aware of it. I started this back in February and would start off by either sitting in the bath or on the couch for 30 mins to an hour with my eyes close and just let my mind drift without giving it much thought. If it wanted to be angry, I allowed that, if it wanted to be noisy, I allowed that. After about a month, it seemed to go on autopilot and I would be like that during most of the day. After about 3 months of that, I let go into total openness, which was allowing everything. I had read about openness plenty before that and still didn’t have a “knowing” instead of just a scholar type of knowing, kinda like memorizing definitions. You can’t force openness, you can only come to it after you’ve had a decent time building up your awareness and when the definition becomes a knowing, which happens automatically”.
Thanks, Michael,
it seems I found an answer myself.
There is no direct, rigid recipe for all cases. Of course, it’s great if one have so high awareness that he is able to not only detect thoughts but also immediately understand that he is not them, and when one clearly sees the idioty of an obsessing thought he is disidentifying from it automatically, and also allowing it automatically.
So, the understanding/disidentification is the most easy (with less suffering) and very effective way to reduce a momentum.
However, such disidentification can’t be pushed out of fear of the thought – at best, such attempt can only give a temporary relief, but then you’ve already got “in dance” with the thought(s) and can be sure they’ll return soon again, probably, even with more powerfull pull.
So – if one disidentifies from the thoughts naturally, without struggle, without aim to escape something, it’s great – it’s a blessing. But, if one aren’t able to do that yet, he can still just try to allow even while partly identified – because the fact that one is able to detect thoughts is an indicator that he has some connection to awareness, he is not lost in mind completely (even if he believes the thoughts/suffer). It will be harder, and there IS a risk to get lost to momentum sometimes, and one can remind himself the truth – but with understanding that it’s not meant as an escape mechanism.
Sen,
Thank you for this mind opening article. Just before reading your posts I’ve been “stuck in my mind” and realised I’ve bookmarked your “Don’t try to get rid of your ego” post. After revisiting some months later with a heightened awareness, it really makes sense how “consciously” allowing it to be can transform the pull of the ego-mind!
“You are not your mind” is what brought me back to heightened awareness.
Anyways, I would like to ask a question about this article I hope you can enlight me on:
While reading your post, I’ve realised I’m very powerless to the thought of being ‘financially stable’. From what I’ve learnt, it is also true that I am fascinated, or always dream-thinking what money can buy. I think this stems from a imbalance of love.
Quote—
“When I say that connecting with inner-power is a choice, it’s simply a direct pointer to the fact that ultimately it’s up to you to make the choice to connect with an attitude of power which eventually allows you to integrate the nature of power in your being.”—
I feel a great sense of lack in this area, I tend to avoid it and procrastinate (play games) when the thought of this comes by.
Does this mean I have not genuinely made a conscious choice of connecting to my inner-power? When I try, it feels like, I’m pushing or forcing/efforting. This is where I’m confused. (and this process saps my energy, and get stuck back into my ego-mind)
Cheers,
Chuck
Just a follow-up:
I think I have answered my own question.
Reading more articles on this site has not only inspired right action, most importantly it has allowed me to connect to my being.
I brought myself to a state of allowing with the FAQ as a guide.
All these random thoughts and emotions came up. I just didn’t “try” to control it anymore, I didn’t even “try” to let go. It felt really weird and confusing at first, but it felt great in a way that I’m free from the shackles of the mind for once!
Well, I believe it is a gradual process and I’ll just let the financial situation as it is right now.
I’m just curious how many old emotions will come up. It really helps me to learn more about myself.
Cheers for all this Sen.
sen,
whenever i seem to attract love, it seems as though i am an accessory in an anothers life. i am always available and the other is always busy. so the power to decide or take actions rests solely with the other person. i am always waiting around.
is this my ego which feels that i am not doing anything worthwhile and being too available? also love subdues my character. i realise by reading your posts that i am quite powerless and have been able to reduce my bodily reaction to quite a degree. but my mind is fearful and is trying to protect itself from future hurts by trying to be aloof and disconnected.
this has happened once before in life and caused me a lot of misery because i was unable to find my power, have gotten over that, but is it fair to believe that what is happening will help be come to balance in love.
relationships with seemingly no future will sort themselves and my mind will stop figuring out ways to protect itself and believe in the fierce grace of life?
i always wish there s more to life than having so much free mind time, and work shapes up beautifully.. if i stay allowing will this eventually work out?
hope to see ur revert.
Seeker, there are basically two types of personalities – the light tinted ones and the dark tinted ones. Even in a state of balance one has to work with his/her personality (a balanced light tinted personality, or a balanced dark tinted personality). A light tinted personality is usually the submissive, the giver, the leaner (the one leaning in) with an energy of warmth, love and tenderness. A dark tinted personality is usually the dominant, the taker, the pillar with an energy of power, coldness and solidity. An imbalanced light tinted personality becomes an imbalanced giver, and “leans” too much entering into needy behaviors. An imbalanced dark tinted personality becomes too cold, or become imbalanced taker (thus becoming exploitative). From your description, it looks like you have a light tinted personality, and you need to balance out on it – in terms of balancing towards some element of power/dark-nature. You will remain a light tinted personality, but you can function in a balanced way without feeling this sense of powerlessness, or without getting exploited (or attracting abusive relationships). This post basically talks to the light-tinted personality types who are imbalanced towards their light nature.
Don’t try to use a forced “aloofness” as some means to protect yourself, rather you need to work on releasing the momentum of “neediness”, anxiety of loss, pull of attraction, emotional hurt (created from the desperate need for love/support/connection) through the state of allowing (you can read this post – FAQ on the state of allowing) – when you are no longer pulled around by the momentum of your emotions, you can live your light-tinted personality nature in a balanced way. Basically, don’t try to suppress these painful emotions when they come up, just allow them fully so that they can release their momentum, and don’t try to use some forced coldness/detachment/numbness as a means of protection.