The space of inner wholeness arises when you release most of the negative energy momentum that has been accumulated in your body/mind. The way to release this momentum is by letting go of giving new fuel to it, so that it runs purely on its past fuel which gets exhausted with time. The various ways in which you end up giving new fuel to an existing negative momentum are
– By fearing the negative feelings, and hence trying to suppress it
– By believing the negative thoughts to be true and hence giving interest to them
– By fearing the negative thoughts and “trying” to suppress them
– By “trying” to ignore the negative thought/feelings in the hopes that they will disappear (you can sense that you are trying to ignore them out of your fear of them)
– By trying to keep yourself distracted in activities to avoid the inner negativity (this is just a form of suppression)
Basically, if you notice, anything you do out of “fear” of the negativity fuels the negativity further – it’s like an indirect fuel. Also, when you believe the negativity you are directly fueling it. When you try to push away a thought or a feeling, out of fear of it, it indirectly fuels its presence in you – you stay shackled to it. Scientifically this is because when you fear something you are giving “attention” to its presence, and attention is “concentrated focus” which has the power to amplify, or give fuel, to its presence in your reality in someway. Just like when you love something you give focus to it, when you fear something you give focus to it – fear and love both pull your focus.
Don’t protect your being
The first step to being free of a negativity is to stop fearing its presence. The only way you can do this is by consciously allowing it to arise in you – be it a feeling or a thought, without trying to get rid of it. You may think that if you allow it then it will take over your life or that it will manifest in some form, but this is a misunderstanding. In truth, life-energy being pure positive in its natural vibration cannot hold a negative vibration unless you are fueling it with your personal focus. So, when you stay open to allowing it, you are not giving any “concentrated focus” to it, and hence the negative energy gets dissolved as it’s not sustained by life-energy.
The act of allowing is free of fear, and hence the negativity does not get the fuel of your fear to sustain itself. Total allowing is total letting go because you are no longer holding on to any way of protecting yourself against what arises as a feeling or a thought – for me one of the best pointers for letting go came from a teacher called Mooji when he said “Don’t try to protect your being, it’s un-harm-able”. Only when you let go of trying to protect yourself, from your feelings and thoughts, do you realize the spaciousness of your being – when you are trying to protect yourself against a feeling/thought your being becomes “narrow” (closed), when you let go of your defenses you become “spacious” (open). When your being is narrow, even the smallest negativity can hit you hard. When your being is spacious you are not overwhelmed by anything.
Should I be aware or should I let go?
Awareness initially can feel like active watching, because it’s like you are watching a thought or a feeling almost as an effort. This is how everyone starts off on this journey of waking up from the mind’s pull, by becoming an active watcher of their mind. It does feel like an effort initially because you are not used to being aware of your mind, since you are mostly, habitually, lost in the mind. This watching of thoughts/feelings is also a “brain activity”, because this “active awareness”, or efforted awareness, also comes from the brain – its just like you are watching something keenly, only this time the “something” is your mind, your space of thoughts and feelings, instead of the outside. This type of active awareness is needed for a while to grow in the power of awareness – this is a period where techniques are of a help, you can do these following techniques to increase the power of your awareness
– Spend time watching your mind and your feelings, without any outside distraction, may be for 15-30 minutes day
– During your day, every time you become conscious that you were lost in the mind or an outside activity, spend a minute or two being aware of your surroundings and your feeling/thought space,
– Be more aware of your body movements
– Bring awareness to your body’s energy by sensing it more keenly
You get the idea, it’s just about becoming a more acute observer of your mind, body and surroundings, so that you are not lost in a haze of activity. This awareness takes time to grow stronger because you are not habituated to being aware, you are more habituated to be pulled around by the mind. Don’t be too hard on yourself though, don’t try to pull off feats like trying to be forcefully aware for long periods, it’s not needed. Just allow your ability for awareness to keep growing slowly and steadily, it naturally takes time, you cannot become strong in your awareness overnight – usually it can take a few months on its own.
While your awareness becomes stronger, you become more keenly aware of your inner negativity, the things that were suppressed in you as well as the negative momentum in your mind. It can feel a bit overwhelming to become aware of so much negativity. This is the time when you start “letting go”, and allowing, instead of trying to be aware. You consciously relax, and allow the negativity in the space of relaxed awareness, you are no longer trying to be “keenly aware”, your awareness just become relaxed and you allow the negativity the space to arise – only when you allow this space can it be dissolved, or released, because in this space the negativity gets touched by the wholeness of life-energy. At one point, you stop “trying” to be aware, you just become naturally open and spacious, this is when you start sensing the inner wholeness and feel stable in your being.
So in summary this how the phase moves
Efforted awareness – Relaxed awareness – Total allowing
The state of “total allowing” means you are no longer in any fear of the negativity, this is a state of total letting go because there is no sense of making an effort to let go or be aware, you are truly not bothered by it – not as a means of denial like “I don’t care” but as an unconditionally open space of “I am not afraid”. The state of being “just open” takes time and it comes naturally, you can’t pretend or fake it, it’s the natural state of being without resistance to life.