One Practice to Overcome Obsessive Thoughts
Most people who get stuck with obsessive thoughts, or people who have an anxiety condition (where their brain is constantly thinking anxious thoughts), fail to realize that this condition is a “symptom” and not the problem itself. They keep trying to treat the symptom without acknowledging the real problem. They look to try to solve […]
Link back to full article: https://www.calmdownmind.com/overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
Sen,
I have recently begun reading many of your pieces and they are wonderful. Thank you so much. They have helped me in many regards with my obsessive negative thoughts, but I find myself still struggling. It seems to me that I am almost playing a ‘game’ with myself by having these negative thoughts occur and take over my mindset and mood. The type of thought itself doesn’t seem to matter, it is purely how much attention I pay to it. I have been struggling for years now with negative thinking, and even though deep down the thing I want most in the world is to go back to living my life as a positive human being and not letting negative thinking affect me to extent it does today, I still seem to play games in my mind and think negative thoughts ‘for fun’ it seems, causing myself to sink into what feels like a mini-depression. Do you have any insight as to why I do this and what I can do to stop continually playing these negative thinking games in my mind?
Kevin, there is no problem with playing around with thoughts for fun – like watching a horror movie for the fun of the fear it can produce, while knowing that its just a movie. However, you mention that you get into a depression, so obviously you seem to identify with the thoughts than just playing around with them for fun, so in that sense your mind has a strong influence on your being. The deal is to develop some space between your awareness and your mind, so that you are not totally lost in its pull. You can read the below posts for more insights
http://www.calmdownmind.com/freedom-from-the-grip-of-negativity/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
Hi Sen,
Is it ok tp purposely generate the obsessive thoughts and be aware of it. for an example lets say that I’m having obsessive/intrusive thoughts of harming someone. is it ok to purposely generate this over and over again and be aware of it?
Lekha, allowing the thought to happen in your awareness, instead of trying to suppress it, causes you to see through the thought and be free of its hold on you – so, yeah it’s fine to purposely generate this thought for the purpose of clearly seeing through it and being free of your fear of it.
Thank you very much Sen for answering but i have one final question and this has been troubling me for quite a long time. If i purposely generate bad thoughts will it create bad karma? Taking the above example, if i have obsessive/intrusive thoughts about harming someone, if i purposely generate the thought over and over again in order to be free from the fear, will it create bad karma? it might sound stupid but please do answer.
thanks!
Lekha, since you are consciously generating the thought for the purpose of becoming aware of its patterns, and releasing its hold on you, you are not giving it any belief/identification and hence it doesn’t get the fuel of your attention. Hence the thought loses its potency to affect reality in anyway, so it obviously doesn’t create any action/causes/karma in you. The only thoughts that have the power to create a cause/action in you are thoughts that you give belief/identification to.
Aloha Sen,
what about physical symptoms? It took me a while to realize, that there is no “my” body, it is all connected, so I don’t need to force or fight the physical discomforts, they are in a way “symptoms”, or, physical manifestations of inner struggle. it’s all one. but, I am stuck in the cycle of stomach contractions and cramps, and I see they represent inner not allowing some things to come (bad), or some things to go (bliss “states” for example)… The doubt which is very appealing to the mind is: I don’t know sometimes what’s actually wrong: the body, or the inner struggle which makes contractions in the body, and then over all of that mind’s habitual worry and fears… and then… boom… it comes. A laugh. it’s all an illusion. I came back where I started. there is a worry about imagined “me”, about imagined things in the “future”, buch of thoughts with no relation to any “truth”… and it’s a relief. There is only what is… and then… boom… again. I again get caught in the mind jibberish crap. But, I feel ups and downs are reduced now. I am not that happy and high when “liberated” (there is peace and joy), and not 100% involved in suffering when it happens. But the cycle keeps going. The most difficult thing at the moment for me is some “in-between” phase, of not knowing what to do. Ego just can’t leg go, and awareness is aware that old patterns don’t work, so some days I just don’t know what to do or where to go. Do you feel this is normal process (your writings about “detox phase” gave me hope)? Do you maybe thing this is all very natural? We are all growing up? Only, if one struggles – there is suffering, if one relaxes – it’s going natural and easy?
Chow, during the release, there are bound to be fluctuations – you feel a low when a release cycle is on, and you feel a high when a cycle gets done with, and there can be some physical symptoms during the release as the body gains more vitality and thus is able to release stored-up toxicity. As you reach towards the end of the release, you sense a stability in your mind and your body, and there are no more fluctuations of any intensity.
I have many violent thoughts everyday, which I simply cannot afford being a med student and having a lot to study. If i sit back everytime a thought comes into my mind, how will I be able to study? Also how can I replace the thoughts I am having with ones related to my studies?
I have a problem of dwelling on negative thoughts. When I was younger I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve all the bliss in my life and that I had to give myself a type of reality check by thinking negative. It used to be less severe but as I got older I started thinking about any thing weird or scary and dwell on it. It’s a bad habbit that I realize I can’t do anymore. I’m only 17 and this dwelling started when I was about three years old. I’ve done really well in school and I’m a very social person but I am trying to get out of this mental torchering phase. I think I have a problem of just releasing the negative thoughts. I feel like I have to dwell on the thoughts in order to control them. When I get a scary thought that makes no “logical” sense, I freak out and start dwelling on it w/ the fear that if I don’t dwell on it, it’ll manifest. I know that it doesn’t make sense which is why this year I decided I had to change my ways. I got really depressed because my mind was so used to the dwelling and now I’m doing a lot better. The main thing I struggle with is just letting the thoughts flow in and out of my mind. I’m going to college next fall and I think I had a big reality check this year. I knew that the dwelling I’ve done for so long isn’t healthy. I’m going to try your method of just being aware but idk if I completely understand it. I already have a problem of allowing the negative thoughts to enter into my mind so how will letting them in freely help my cause? Are you saying to let thoughts enter and just stay relaxed? Right now when weird/negative thoughts enter my body freaks out and dwells. I guess relaxin is the right thing to do but I’m so confused. I try meditating and I’ve been reading “The Secret” as well. I jus need some help with getting rid of the obsessive negative thinking. Please advise.
Hello Sen.
I’m 21 and i’ve been having what i think is obsessive thoughts, because they just continuously appear in my mind despite i don’t want them to be there, and they only go away for a few minutes, then my mind remember that i was thinking that. This thoughts are like sexual toward people of my family, not desires, just thoughts – i had this before and my mind like says to me ” i know you don’t like to think this, but i’m gonna make sure you think about it for a while”. Images appear in my mind of them naked or actual sexual explicit. Its frustrating and causes a lot of anxiety.
I also think i’m depressed – i study at home and i don’t go out that much; i would love to go out for a long walk and clear my mind, but i have physical disabilities and in the last year my social life severely declined. I worry to much about stuff, for example, some years ago, one day i hurt myself in my testicles and i immediately thought ” what if it caused serious damage” and now i commonly have moderated psychological erectil disfunction.
Do you think i should see a psychologist?
Thanks for now,
From personal experience with OCD type thoughts:
I’ve had this exact same thing happen to me, both parts of your post.
If you stay at a place of “total allowing” there will be a change in the intensity of the thoughts and the thoughts will no longer be as powerful, and they would flow freely. You will no longer be fear them or the pain they cause, they will eventually be able to flow freely without any resistance to them and any analysis of the thoughts. The mind could just be “curious” which is natural for a mind to do, but without being allowing and open to the thoughts, you cannot be conscious of this curiosity, you will only be trying to avoid or keep the thoughts from hurting you.
If you feel it is necessary to see a psychologist (not out of fear based thoughts, but out of inspiration/wisdom) then follow your inspiration/wisdom. Moderate erectile dysfunction is also common in young men your age, but the important thing is, is that the more fear you put into it the more it will occur and the more you will be trying to avoid it and looking out for it. This takes the focus out of the enjoyment and feelings of sexual acts and the fear of “please don’t go soft, uh oh i’m going soft, something is wrong, i gotta try to stop this…etc” will actually cause the erectile dysfunction during sexual acts itself. By becoming aware of these thoughts when they come up, they will lose intensity and you won’t have to “try” to stop or fix them. They won’t take over your awareness and you will be able to enjoy your sexual experiences more.
Also, Great post here, provides a good insight on sexual energy.
http://www.calmdownmind.com/channel-your-sexual-energy/
One last thing, just because the mind is curious does not mean you will do what it is curious about because by being completely open you can accept these thoughts, but you will also move from a place of wisdom/inspiration, which will always allow and point you to take the right action.
Filipe, the right perspective would be for you to just see this as a wake up call for you to start developing an inner stability where you are not a prisoner to your mind’s thoughts. Different people have different wake up calls. What’s required is for you stop fighting the mind and move towards becoming fearless of the mind, thus moving towards a space of stability which is not influenced by the mind’s thoughts – this is what it means to be free within. If you keep trying to change your mind, you will be fighting a losing battle because what you fight against will always persist. What’s needed is to allow the mind to be, while you start feeling a connection with your space of being, as mentioned in the posts below
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/why-do-we-fear-the-mind/
Most of posts on this blog have to do with coming to an inner stability, from these posts you can get insights on letting go of the grip of your mind .
Sen ji ………
I am a regular 8 hrs working guy. How long would you suggest me to practice relaxed awareness in a day . Shoul there be a aprticular location for this practice or can it be done anywhere. Please reply
thanks
Amit, start off with 20 minutes and possibly move towards 30 minutes in a month’s time. With time (in two or three months) it won’t feel like a practice but just a state of inner connection, and soon this connection would feel so strong that you wouldn’t even need to sit for specific times. With this inner stability you will be in a position to let go of the negativity/fear-based movement of the mind, like the ocd issue that you mentioned.
sen,
whenever i start to think a positive thought , my body creates resistance, i feel anxiety , i have become quite good in watching my negative obsessive thoughts , should i remain just a witness and not think positive or should i try and break the barrier , thanks
Wow. I just went over the two articles -this one and ‘How to stop obsessive thoughts’- and all i can honestly say is “I get it!”. These two articles really illuminated my understanding of the mind and how to deal with certain obsessive thoughts and negative energy. During the read, one question popped up tho: “why do we crave negative thoughts?” I am very much familiar with feeding bad thoughts and justifying the negative thoughts -we keep feeding- and the emotional response I got is gratification e.g. I experienced an ‘You just wait, I’ll show you!” attitude. I don’t understand it completely but that is just what I have observed. It honestly felt empowering yet the negative thoughts and energy kept accumulating. Knowing that you cannot kill the mind, we can however choose which thought we fuel, which thoughts we associate with. Which I found to be very simple yet effective. It all comes back, in basic meditation terms it has been described as Mindfulness: to observe what ‘it’ is as it is without judgement or drawing conclusion. I’m new to all of this, so please do regard these words as observational rant 🙂
Ginmardo, you can find insights in this post – The brain, the heart and law of attraction – with respect to your query on “why do we crave negative thoughts”
Hello Sen.
I think I have been going through this process for a month or so. I have finally seen through all the thoughts are impermanent, irrelevant and pointless. When I am in the moment it’s wonderful, it’s like there is so longer a hum in the background. But I am experiencing waves of energy-panic, anxiety etc, several times a day. Just wondering if that’s to be expected, because from what I gather it seems like you mention that it’s more like periods of a week here a week there. Am i doing something wrong? Perhaps by focusing on it so much, it’s happening more? My mind is still churning out all kinds of intrusive thoughts during this time.
Thanks.
Michelle, it’s not about taking a “stand” like all thoughts are impermanent, irrelevant and pointless, because such a stand seems to be coming from a place of fear where you are wanting to get rid of thoughts by calling them pointless. The pointer is to gain freedom from the influence of mind, it does not mean you have to get rid of the mind’s thoughts, but have the ability to allow it while bringing a wisdom towards it through your connection with your space of being. Also it’s not about clinging to the moments of “wonder” or bliss, or a high state, but about developing the openness to allow the low states – the integration of the dark and the light in you can only happen when you are fully allowing of the low states instead of trying to cling to the high states alone. The waves of low states, based in fear (like anxiety) can happen at any period depending on the momentum you have going, and its intensity will also depend on the momentum you accumulated from the past. What’s needed is to not get concerned about it, and stay in a space of allowing, letting it ride through. Don’t worry about focusing on it, you are bound to be aware of the low states as they happen, it’s fine – just don’t get panicky about their presence. If you try to force yourself to not focus on the low state, you will basically be trying to ignore it, which is just a fear based tactic – just be allowing of it and be aware of it, without buying into it.
Dear Sen,
First, please let me say how grateful I am for sharing your simple, yet valuable and effective insights with us.
Second, as you guessed, I have a question regarding bringing-relaxed-awareness-to-thoughts process: indeed a simple execution: observing thoughts as they rise in mind, stay open to them, let them be, and just observe them.
I have been trying this for a while…. I notice that the moment I became aware of (or observe) the mind thinking activity (be it either at the very beginning of a thought birth or somewhere at the middle), the thinking activity stops! Maybe this is the point of this awareness exercise, but I feel this does not let the thought to loose its power/strengths/negativity since I have not fully observed the whole movie! and it rises again a moment/day/week later … am I making things too complicated?
Your insight is greatly appreciated. With gratitude.
Mo, basically you are making this into a very rigid mental activity, and that was never the point of it. The very reason why I call it “relaxed awareness” is to drive home the point that you don’t have to strain or be too “strict” about it – just relax and allow the mind to have its activity, it’s not about watching the birth of a thought or to see the middle of thought or any gimmick like that, it’s just about being in a state of “resistance free” allowing of the mind and emotions. Don’t “analyse”, just let it be – don’t “try” to observe, and you will see that a natural observation is already happening. You may not realize but you cannot ever shut down your “awareness” during your waking hours, even when you say you were lost in the mind, you will notice something in you was aware that you were lost and it was aware of what you were lost in – so awareness is always “on”, you don’t have to try and be aware of thought, just relax and you will sense a open awareness already present observing without effort, and without analyzing.
Dear Sen,
Thanks for the pointer. After reading your reply, consulting your post on “High mind momentum is the key”, and letting go of my mind (though no more than a few seconds each day), I observed that my mind has a VERY high momentum. It may be worse these days because my wife and kids are away on a trip abroad and my mind (almost) continuously generates negative thoughts (of either something bad may happen to them or feeling lonely), and I often feel helpless in letting go of it! When I sit and let my mind go my mind activity, after a couple of minute I find myself literary lost in my mind and feel the negative energy (the product) in my body. When it gets to this point I find it hard to continue and there is a high tendency in me (or maybe my mind) to distract myself with something else and not continue any longer. To be honest, this process happens every day and I feel very exhausted with a low energy to run everyday errands. Your posts have been very helpful and you have said it all … though I am not getting it! I do not have any specific question, but I would be grateful for your insight regarding my situation which may be common to many. With gratitude.
Mo, you’ve gained understanding of the mechanics of what “allowing” is about. So now just take your time easing into this process, at your own pace. It’s totally fine to seek relief in distractions if you feel you can’t handle the mind/emotional pressure when you start allowing. Take your time, and be easy on yourself, there is no need to be make this into any strict discipline. Basically, even the smallest amount of inner connection created by sitting in a state of allowing is enough to start building a bridge between your being and your physicality, and this opening is all it takes for you to start being drawn to your inner being automatically. You will feel a gradual sense of wanting to connect more with your inner space, without requiring any force or discipline.
Hi sen my thoughts are very obsessive i get thoughts that stick to my brain frequently! It over analyzez everything and stresses about every little thing then i have to sit down and figure the thoughts and it will go on and on. I just got stuck on the part you said look below your fear doesnt that mean i have to get in my mind and solve the fear ? Im just tired of thinking and stressing ! Or do you mean by that just lettin my fear out and not engaging with my mind? Because literaly my mind will stress about every little thing example how am i Going to be aware? Or my mind tells me you are not allowing these thoughts you are avoiding them which i totally was not which gets me mad and it starts a whole thinking process ! So what can i dont know what you mean about gettin below your fear my mind is not stressing about that thought did you say to just allow instead of engaging?
Dear Sen, thank you for this lovely post – I was so excited to read it. For the past year and a half I have been having obssessive thought, a year and a half ago I never had any anxious or obssessive thoughts – everything would work out, and god would help me. But for the last year I have been constantly trying to battle my obssesive thinking. I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, a luxation of the hip and when I was 16(about 6 years ago I had a surgery to correct a leg length discrepancy). I am fine now, walking good – the only problem is that in about 10,15,20 years(no one knows exactly) I’ll be needed a complicated hip replacement surgery. I always knew that around the age of 40 I’ll be needing another surgery but for the last 2 years all my mind is doing is coming up with different going wrong situations like…. What if after the surgery my legs will be uneven again, what if I won’t have money to pay for the surgery, what if I won’t have money to take care of myself during this time or pay for recovery, what if I’ll lose my job then and What if no one will be by my side. Also I worry all the time what if my mom dies, if I’m left all alone. And all these negative thoughts are killing me slowly, all I want to do all day is think them through so they would go away, to rationalize them and feed the positivity but it doesn’t work. I really want to know more about releasing them and go on with enjoying my life as I used to. Thank you
Sen,
What if the obsessive thought is because you have done something bad like cheating? If you feel so much guilt and regret and fear of the person finding out and losing everything. This is a real life real problem but causing much anxiety and depression. How does one not obessess over something like that?
Troubled, we all make mistakes, even terrible mistakes that we can’t imagine forgiving ourselves for. However, forgiveness is key to peace of mind. Otherwise you are always dragging baggage with you and not able to live in the present. You begin by forgiving yourself repeatedly and by extension, forgiving other people in your life. Once you forgive yourself and when you start forgiving those who have grieved you in the past, you start the healing process. When you are able to forgive yourself and others, you come to see how someone might be able to forgive you as well. Then the fear of rejection subsides and you can choose to ‘confess’ without fear. Lack of fear does not mean not you are not sorry for what you have done, rather, you perfectly understand what you have done, why you (or more like, a negative aspect of your Ego) did it and you want to make sure you don’t do it again. When you can learn to love yourself a little, you come to understand how others can love you too.
mr sen,
i have been suffering from all sorts of negative painful thoughts which gives me pain, these result in lot of fear, tension, headache , restlessness, pain. i have been dying each day, each moment due to this problem for the past 20 years , i am 30 years today. i ve lost all my dreams,career, personal relationship, happiness, internal peace. my life has been hell due to this and i ve lost all my interest in life , just waiting for the day to close my eyes rather than being a burden on someone. i ve all sort of negative thoughts like
what if i send the report wrong?
what if my boss gets angry?
what if i am not able to study
what if i cannot understand what my boss says
what if something stucks in my nose and i have the feeling and sensation of suffocation
what if the water goes into my nostrils and i heve the feeling and sensation of drowning
what if i cannot swallow and i have the feeling of getting choked
what if my parents die
if you can help please save me from this mess and pain and all my best wishes are with you for helping all the painful souls
The more understanding you gain about the dynamics of a “mind”, the less likely you are to be a prisoner to its thoughts. I would suggest that you take the time to read more posts on this blog, which can give you a better understanding of negativity, of the mind, or the dynamics of emotional/mental momentum. Some posts you can start with are
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/why-do-we-fear-the-mind/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-brain-the-heart-and-the-law-of-attraction/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/healing-the-imbalance/
You article is excellent. Actually I went through American psychologist who has done phd.
He also gave the same process — “identify the negative thought and let it go”. It should be effort less — do not force any thing on the brain.
But the question I have is , I read another article regarding thought process and emotions in the brain.
both occur at different parts of the brain . In that article they say if we are going though emotions
break the motions flow ,by using neutral thoughts or words like OHM repeating it or any neutral words , so that the brain connects to thinking part of it and reduces the intensity of emotions.
But in your article ” Calm down” , it has been mentioned that even for anxiety as well as for Agitated thoughts ( hate ful ) also can be reduced by “let it go process.” — let the brain go in free flow.
I am confused please advice.. for anxiety & agitated mind do I need to use ” let it go process — let the brain goes it own couse” or to use netural thoughts like OHM or Sreem ..mantras when in anxity or agitated — which are motional related.
Please advice.. your thoughts will be very useful.
Arjun, the state of total allowing is when you don’t use “technique” to control what arises – this what brings you to inner freedom. Any technique eventually is a crutch that you depend on out of fear of facing what arises. For an emotional clearing to take place, you need to allow yourself to feel these emotions as they arise instead of trying to distract your focus through a mantra like ohm or shreem
Hi Sen,
Thank you for your help and advice . Sorry I could not reply immeditly. I came to this site today after 1 week .I will follow your advice even for the Agitated emotional feelings. I will allow my agitated emotions to go through my consious state. I will practise this.
I have to blame myself to get into anxiety and depression state , because at child hood I didn’t have proper guidance. I always allowed my negative thoughts to dominate me from child hood. Now after following these processes let it go freely “effort less process” for more than 2 years my anxiety is reduced. Still it is there but with less intensity and less anxiety.
I have agitated emotions left over in my mind. they keep coming again and again. I am planning to go though the same process ” let it go ” for even these agitated thoughts. These agitated thoughts are strong, which I am not able to do any thing as of now . I am following this process. let me see the results after 6 months or so.
I feel your articles helps a lot of people who are in anxiety or depressed state. These processes really works.Only thing is we need to give some time like 1 year or so to see the results. I need to have patience. Thank you very much once again for your advice.
arjun
Hi Sen,
I have one question thatkeeps on coming to mind.
The question I have is , IS self consiesness is same as negative thoughts.
BEcause I am very self consies when I am talking or when I am just by myself. suddenly
I become self consiess about that I am not not good at or just about my thoughts
or about any thing , I will be self consiess about those thoughts and be in that state of
mind for some time and then go forward.
IS this (over self consiess ness is part of negative thoughts). these over self consiessness
is distrubing me.
Please advice. you advice is always valuble.
arjun
Hi Sen,
I’ve had panic attacks for 15 years and my irrational thoughts cause panic attacks (maybe I’m having a heart attack, maybe I’m about to pas out, maybe i will stop breathing etc ) basically, I convince myself that the physical symptoms I’m experiencing from the anxiety are not coming from just having a panic attack, but “this Time” it might really be a medical problem. I am a healthy young woman and have no medical issues but the anxiety feels so overwhlming that I feel like I really do have a medical problem. How would one recognize what’s a true thought (my heart is racing fast I may die!) and a thought just based on fear and coming just from my anxiety disorder. That’s my problem, always thinking what is this time it’s real and not just my anxiety? Thanks!!!
Kelly, the truth is that it’s never possible to be “certain” about anything in life – no-one can give you that assurance of certainty, and even if they do, your mind won’t buy it because you inherently know that nothing is certain. You don’t come to freedom by asking for certainty, you come to freedom when you no longer fear uncertainty, when you don’t fear realities of life like death. Death is a part of reality, and you can never be certain when you get to experience it, now you have the choice of either being afraid of it or allowing its possibility. When you are afraid of a certain reality, all you do is stand in resistance to your life-stream’s intelligence in the moment, nothing else is served by your fear. When you are open (fearless) towards life’s realities, you are resistance-free and are constantly privy to your life-stream’s intelligence which is rooted in ensuring well-being. You can, of course, get some practical assurances, if you so desire, by getting your medical check-ups done – that’s not a problem. But beyond that, it boils down to how much freedom you have to allow the reality of life, instead of being afraid of the possibilities. You can read this post – Dealing with uncertainty – for more insight
Kelly,
I also suffered from anxiety attacks a while ago, before I came across this site.
One thing that is very helpful is understanding why these thoughts have power over you. The problem isn’t with the thoughts, themselves, but with the power and pull they have on you. So the answer is not with finding “true thoughts” or trying to work your way out of thoughts, but rather allowing the thought to loose its power and thus loose its hold on you.
A quick explanation on how a thought gains power. Thoughts gain their power through focus or attention on them. Have you ever noticed that a thought can only exist as long as it has your attention. And the more attention you give to your thoughts, the longer they can hang around. Also, when attention is focused on these thoughts the mind increases in momentum and when the thought is triggered it can hang around longer due to this momentum.
So to loose the pull of these thoughts, simply remove your attention of them. That does not mean ignore them and pretend like they aren’t there because that it indirectly giving the thought attention. Removing your attention from these thoughts just means consciously allow the thought to flow. Without your attention the thought will start loosing power because it will starve without your attention. This also removes the momentum of the mind all together when you consciously allow the thoughts to flow you are also letting the mind come back down to a level where you won’t be pulled around by your thoughts. Also, you can imagine it like this. Imagine driving a car, and taking your foot off the gas pedal, allowing the car to naturally continue on its own. The car would slow down and loose its momentum. This is basically how the process works, by removing your attention from the mind (through consciously allowing it) and eventually the momentum of the thought will loose its intensity and not have power over you anymore and the thoughts will no longer show up.
It can take some time to start gaining the ability to consciously allow the thoughts because they currently have a lot of pull, but after a few “releases” (as sen calls them) this becomes automatic and there is an enormous decrease in the pull of these thoughts.
Honestly, there are thoughts now that I can’t even remember thinking and even if I can think of them they do not hold any power on me.
Some posts that might be of help and provide more understanding about this process:
http://www.calmdownmind.com/overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-practice-of-relaxed-awareness/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-on-specific-fears-vs-reducing-mind-momentum/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-with-thoughts/
And This last one explains more about creation and how thoughts get their power.
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-science-of-manifestation/
Best of Luck
Dear Tibrahi,
I am also suffering from anxiety and panic since last 10 months and obssesive thoughts of not
able to sleep since last 15 days and i really want help.
Thanks for a very logical and structured explanation, i must say. However, can you pls further explain that how you can acheive thoughts to flow conciously in your mind without giving them attention. Aslo, pls tell what do you mean by “few releases”?.
Secondly, you mentioned that now old thoughts dont bother you (though concious in your mind).My question to you is that, have you regain your old original state of mind like before these disturbing thoughts (now old thoughts as you mentioned) occured and troubled you.
For e.g : In my case 13 days before i was sitting in a place trying to doze off.however, i found that i was unable to sleep,that thought struck me so hard i lost my sleep with the fear, since i had no sleep problems before though i suffered with anxiety.since then the fear has struck me and i am not able to sleep peacefully or rather i cant fall sleep. whenver i try to sleep, i get the fear of that i may not able to sleep though i sleep later on for very few hours but not peacefully.
Woud i be able to have the same state of mind as before this thought struck?
Can you help on this.
Pls reply.
Hi sen
I have had anxitey about death since i was a little girl well lately it seams that its time for me to “grow up” im trying what you say but i keep getting these thoughs like something horrible is going to happened to me. i know its my mind doing negivate thoughs, and it scares me. i also know that lots of people go through this. I know its anxiety because i have been reading up on it. but how long does it take for the detox to be finished? i dont want to think like this
Tina, the part of you that’s trying to fight these thoughts is actually the one creating the “problem”, the thoughts by themselves are just part of “conjectures” about reality that a mind can make. Death is a part of life’s reality, there is no denying this truth, and a possibility of a painful death is also a probable occurrence, everything has a “probability” and you can’t be certain that something “won’t” happen at all. So in that sense, it’s of no use trying to contradict or deny the conjectures of the mind, and it’s also of no use giving it “importance”, both these attitudes are no going to serve you in living your present life (which is all you can be sure of). What’s required is that you see the conjectures of the mind and develop the openness to allow your mind its thoughts, and the openness to accept the possibilities without obsessing about it by giving it undue importance, and be okay with it – freedom never arises from a place of denying or from a place of over-identification – it’s a middle ground of allowing without over-identification. How long it takes for you to find inner freedom is upto you on how willing you are to develop this attitude of openness.
Hi Sen.
I’m From Philippines. I really need some help here. Its been a month now since I cant sleep.
I’m obsses about the “boundary thing” I called. It is the boundary between Being awake and sleeping.
When I am going to sleep, All in my mind is this Boundary that I must cross inorder that have a peaceful sleep. The result of that I cannot Drift to sleep at all.
Sorry for my English.
Please Help,
Thank you very much.
Roge, this thought about “boundary” is a valid thought for the mind as it does see a boundary between the awake state and sleep state. There is no point in trying to suppress this thought, what’s the required is that you stop giving it so much importance. Trying to find solution to this thought by itself makes you give it a lot of “importance” and keeps you in the grip of this thought. A lot of people can have a thought like this and would just let it pass as a random thought of no real significance, whereas you choose to give it importance. The reason you give importance to this thought is because it makes you feel afraid that you won’t get to sleep, and would end up staying awake and restless. You will have to let go of this fear of “not being able to sleep”, and allow yourself the freedom to be awake until sleep happens – if you “try” to sleep out of fear, then this thought will make you feel helpless, if you give yourself the freedom to be awake as long as sleep doesn’t happen naturally then this thought will lose its fear factor.
Hi Mr. Sen
Thank you for your reply.
I’ll just be aware of my fear of not being able to sleep and not to be concerned with it and to exposed my self to it in order to lose its fear factor? and soon the I’ll forgot this “boundary” thought?
Is it possible to forget that thought?
Thank you for your time Mr. Sen, Please give me wisdom to to make that thought not so much importance.
Roge, don’t worry about forgetting that thought, go with the assumption that you may never forget this thought. The problem is not with the thought, the problem is with the fact that you given so much importance to this thought out of your fear of not being able to sleep. Stop worrying about sleeping, be fine with the fact that you may stay awake the whole night – the moment you get afraid of a certain outcome, you immediately give power to the mind’s fear.
Dear Sen,
Thanks for your different approach.your articles give different perspective as compared to others available.
I am suffering from anxiety and panic since last 10 months and obssesive thoughts and not
been able to sleep since last 23 days, though i used to get sound sleep before.
For e.g : In my case 23 days before i was sitting in a place trying to doze off.however, i found that i was unable to sleep.ThE thought struck me so hard that i lost my sleep with the fear, since i had no sleep problems before although i suffered from anxiety. Since then the fear has struck me and i am not able to sleep peacefully or rather i cant FALL sleep. whenver i try to sleep, i get worried of that i may not able to sleep though i sleep later on for very few hours but not peacefully or naturally as before. The surprising part is i donot get the usual sleep deprived feeling like stressed eyes or irritation etc. I am very concerned about this aspect. My wife and myself are undergoing lot of fear of something happening to physically due to lack of sleep.
Is there any way i would be able to have the same state of mind as before this thought struck? Would i able to sleep peacefully as before without this thought disturbing me.Can i have my original sleep patterns.
Pls help.
Hi Sen,
Wow, its been 1 year and 4 months since I post that comment.
When I first read your reply to me, it doesn’t make any sense. I can’t understand what you are trying to say Mr. Sen but I trusted what you have said on your reply. As months pass, it’s like 6-8 moths after reading your reply, it made sense little by little. I started to sleep soundly to the point that I was not aware of it anymore I even forgot you Mr. Sen, This Page, This Article, and what I posted here. I just remember this article and just wanted to see my old comment and now here I am reading the old comment I posted in this article. It felt good. Really good.
I just want to say thank you very much! May you help more lost brothers and sisters out there.
By the way, I suffered from anxiety, depression, panic attack, OCD. but not anymore!!
Thanks for the replies! This is very helpful!!!
dear sen
is crying alone can be considered a line of release ?
rabna, crying can be a form of emotional release which can happen as the suppressed emotions come up from the past – fully allow this form of release when it happens, without judging it, without feeling a sense of being weak for it.