Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts

Posted on by Sen.


Most people who get stuck with obsessive thoughts, or people who have an anxiety condition (where their brain is constantly thinking anxious thoughts), fail to realize that this condition is a “symptom” and not the problem itself. They keep trying to treat the symptom without acknowledging the real problem. They look to try to solve their obsessive thoughts through logical thinking or through positive affirmations or by trying to suppress/ignore the thoughts, and of course none of this seems to work, because the thoughts are just a symptom, the actual problem is with the underlying imbalance of energy (accumulation of negative energy) in the body and the high momentum of the brain.

Because the brain has developed a high momentum it’s able to repeat the thoughts in fast succession, and the presence of a lot of suppressed negative energy in the body creates the flavor of thought (depending on the energy that’s suppressed, for example if hatred and sexuality is suppressed the flavor of the obsessive thoughts is along the lines of sexual violence). Both these issues get resolved together when one starts practicing relaxed awareness, because in this state of allowing the brain’s momentum comes down and the negative energy gets released from the body (at the cellular level).

Your body cells not only store nutrition, but also information in the form cellular memory, where they store the memory of energy/vibration of emotions and thoughts. These cellular memories keep recreating this energy in the body, and when you feel “negative” (fearful or hateful) about these energies coming up, you are basically creating new negative energy which again gets stored as a memory in the cells – thus keeping the cycle going. Of course, some of this cellular memory gets passed on into the gene pool, hence the offsprings contain the cellular memories of their parents and ancestors, which includes their negativity. The only reason why this understanding is even needed is so that you can get a sense that a good amount of your negativity is not even personal to your specific body – it was just part of your inheritance. Now this should not become an excuse to sit blaming your parents, and your family tree, rather it should just assist in you not making your negativity so personal, which allows you to release it since you are no longer investing it with personal identity.

Bringing relaxed awareness to obsessive thoughts

Remember that thoughts are fueled by your brain’s momentum and your body’s negative energy content, so just trying to solve the thoughts “logically” by telling yourself some positive statements, or seeing through the falseness of the thoughts is not enough by itself. Don’t expect the thoughts to stop just because you’ve seen through their falseness, because these thoughts are running on the brain’s past momentum and are being fueled by the negative energy content in your body. You need to allow for the time for the release of the negative energy, and for the reduction of brain momentum, and in a simple sense you just need to stay open to allowing them, and wait. Most people don’t “wait”, they get impatient too soon, they don’t trust this process of total allowing (because they don’t gain a scientific understanding this process, and just try to “believe” it because a teacher says so), they may even think that this is too simple and want some “extra ordinary” process.

Relaxed awareness just means to sit back and allow fully what arises in the mind and in the energy space of your body – it’s that simple in execution. Initially, in order for your awareness to grow, it’s helpful to just watch your mind, and watch your feelings, for a few days/weeks (depending on how strong your awareness already is) as if you are watching a movie – in a sense of detached/distant observation. Once you sense that you’ve become quite aware of your inner space, of thoughts/feelings, it’s time to start letting go of “trying” to be aware and just relax your awareness – like just sitting, being relaxed, and allowing what arises to arise. Don’t complicate anything, it’s really simple, the pointer is to just be open to what arises without requiring over-analysis.

As you stay in this space of relaxed awareness, you will notice a natural process of “release” starting to happen. This release, I call it “energy detox”, can take a while to complete and it will happen in layers, depending on how much accumulation is present in your body. Be prepared for some restlessness in the body as the energies start getting released, it’s normal, and it’s part of the detox – you can feel fatigued during and after a layer of release, you can have some sleeplessness during the release, your body can feel some aches and cramps (or even a little feverish sometimes during an intense release), the mind can have higher intensity of thoughts (during the release) and can produce a plethora of negative images/arguments, there will be physical sensations as the energies are released and your body moves into a higher vibration. There will be periods of bliss and relief, in between the cycles of detox. Remember that each body is unique and reacts differently to this detox, plus each person has a different load of accumulated negative energy. The bottom line is that this process causes the body to start moving towards a real harmony, and the unpleasantness is just temporary.

Actually to go through this process is all about being an adult, and not being a child within. A true adult can handle some discomfort, but when an adult is still clinging to his/her child identity, he/she behaves like a child getting flustered at the smallest hint of discomfort, to such people the only pointer would be to realize that they are an adult now and thus not behave like a child – I would say, if you are 12 and above, and have some ability for “reason”, or logic, in your brain, you can be an adult in this sense and develop the capacity to go through this process of detox.

Some effects of energy detox

I would estimate that close to 70% of the negativity in the brain is created from the accumulated negative energy in the body (that came as part of your inheritance). The other 30% is created from learnt conditioning from the outside. Your unconscious focus on this negativity, starting from your childhood days, causes the build up of negative momentum in your brain, and also causes the creation on new negative energy which starts getting accumulated. It’s only when you start becoming aware of the choice you have in releasing this negativity, that you actually start moving towards freedom from the load of accumulated negativity in you.

The deal with this process is that when you start becoming relaxed and allowing, the stored up negative energies start coming up more freely to be released. To relax in your being is like opening up a valve that allows the pent up water of the dam to gush out freely. Most people start doubting themselves at this point, because they thought that they will just feel “blissed out” through this process, but what they find is a huge surge of negativity for a while. Another problem is that anyone who starts letting go feels blissed out for a while, which is the initial phase, and this relaxation causes the suppressed energies to move up to be released which cuts out the blissed out feeling – causing you to imagine that you did something wrong, or that you are not doing it right. When in truth, this is the way the process of detox operates, and the periods of having a high surge of negative energy coming up is a positive sign that you are emptying out so much of your past accumulation.

Your brain can seem to go on an overdrive for a while, during the release, and it will pump out a lot of doubts, fears and tell you that “this is not right”. This is normal because the brain is designed to oppose anything that feels negative in the body. The deal is to not buy into your brain’s fears, and just continue staying open to the release. The problem is that the brain can get really tricky with its arguments and fears, causing you to believe it (if you are not aware enough), which just means you will find yourself fueling the negativity. Don’t be tricked by your brain’s antics, and just stay open to the release, and understand that there are no short-cuts or quick-fixes, the energy accumulated needs to get released “consciously” for it to not get recycled again.

This process is temporary but when you are the middle of the storm you don’t know when it’s going to end and this can make you feel uncertain. This again is normal, and you need to allow this feeling of uncertainty. There is a permanent ending of this energy detox, and especially during the final stages is when you may experience a lot of energy release. You should look at enjoying this whole process, if you are really relaxed you can sense a calm in the background as the agitation of the energy release happens, and you can enjoy this release – and when you start enjoying this process is when the release happens more quickly because now there is very little resistance in your being. People who sit worried during the release actually create resistance to the release, and hence delay it.








202 Comments

  1. D

    Hello Sen!

    Can you talk briefly about the value of doing things you love/being creative/following your passion while this process happens? Does it help or full clarity for those pursuits only arise after you have gained more stability?

    1. Sen Post author

      Dan, allow yourself to follow your inspiration towards creativity and joy, follow your call towards enjoying life, after all that’s the whole point of being resistance free that you can savor life in this physicality from a place of connection/alignment. It helps the process of detox, when you allow yourself to enjoy your inspirations because joy is true relaxation for the body – you can go for a hike along the hillside, play with pet, enjoy music, food or indulge in some creativity as is the inspiration. During this process your consciousness is connected with your life-space and you can freely follow the inspirations that come through, don’t judge your drive towards joy. Just ensure that you are not trying to escape the release by using activities as a distraction, you need to be authentic with yourself on that – your own honesty is what takes you through this process.

  2. Joy

    In both (highs and lows), while releasing negative energy and same in the blissful highs and reliefs I had background layer in form of impatience and insecurity.
    Now this moment of calm/high relief is different. What i feel is not thought or excitement for a simple shift of vibration that happened after last releasing, this feels more like deep knowing and realization in body, an excitement in every cell, that for sure good thing is going on and feeling of a liberation and alignment itself that is indeed coming soon. It is amazing, as cellular party and celebration of process is going on.
    I hope the future releasing will be less underlined with worry and impatience and be more with joy of positive transformation as you mentioned in last paragraph.
    One thing is sure, without your share here, I would be still worried and in dark.

    1. Irene

      Wow this really helps I’m 12 years of age and I have h ad obsessive. Negative thoughts for about 3months I was always worried as soon as I read this slowly by time everything is going away

    2. Mihir

      That is so true.. this post made us realize what was actually going on…

    3. Tef

      Hey Sen, Id really like to thank you for sharing this topic with me. I still feel like I’m doing something wrong when I try to relax my awareness because when I’m sitting down watching my thoughts come and go as well as the negative energy I feel great but as soon as I get up I start thinking I won’t be relaxed and then all the negative energy comes back. It’s like I prepare myself for what I should do for the negative energy. What do you think I’m doing wrong.

    4. Sen Post author

      Tef, you may be trying to use “relaxed awareness” (the state of allowing) as some form of a technique to get rid of negativity from the motivation of fear towards negativity – you have the attitude of being “protective”, and what’s needed is the attitude of openness. The state of allowing is not meant to become some technique to avoid feeling “negative”, neither is it some technique to stay relaxed all the time – rather it’s a pointer towards the attitude of openness to what arises, irrespective of what arises. “Relaxed awareness” does not imply that you constantly try to be in some “good feeling state of relaxation”, it’s simply a pointer towards “openness” – including an openness to the “negative feelings” when they arise, not trying to reach for good feelings. This openness is what allows for a balance to start taking place, a balance between light and dark aspects in your mind and emotions.

  3. Ritu

    Thanks Sen for the re-iteration, especially about the surges of negativity

  4. Seva

    Sen,

    Could you distinguish the difference between allowing and fueling negativity? When I sit back and allow from a place of awareness I have many negative feelings and thoughts rush through me such as panic, anger, hatred, and sadness. How do allow these thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in fueling them?

    1. Sen Post author

      Seva, “allowing” is not a technique, it’s just a pointer which you can understand if you just sense what it means in your heart. Allowing just means that you are “open” to what arises. The mind is bound to create some resistance to allowing the negative energy, because the mind habitually opposes bad feelings from arising. Here, you need to realize that you are not the mind and you don’t have to buy into the mind’s resistance, and you can simply stay as a “space” of allowing, you can totally allow the mind’s resistance also. Your attitude should simply be one of not being worried about what arises, but being consciously relaxed about it – even if the body contracts and the mind is in resistance to the negative energy, you can still stay open to all of this. The only way you can truly stay open is when you have some space of awareness which is not totally caught up in the mind or the feelings – this space of awareness allows you the choice to let what arises just arise. Even if you become identified with the mind for a while, it’s totally okay, don’t try too hard at this – every time you become aware that you are lost in the mind, just relax your “focus” on the mind, and stay in a space of just allowing its movements, in the same way, allow the emotional energies to arise without contracting on them or worrying about them. It’s normal to feel some sense of fear when a lot of these energies arise, but the more conscious you are the less likely you are to be totally lost in the fear, this space allows you to have the courage to simply stay open and allow the release.

  5. Eternus

    Sen,

    I am currently experiencing the “blissed out” feeling, but it’s reached a new stage. It’s not the same feeling of peace, it’s more a feeling of joy, like there are no problems any more. I feel like the boundaries of the shell I was living in have almost (i say almost because I don’t know) completely dissolved, and it’s an incredibly liberating experience. I currently have no idea who I am, but I don’t care either. It’s a complete loss of self-identity, yet it feels so boundless and free. I do not recognise my “self”, I just know it wasn’t real in the first place. I am a blank canvas, waiting for a new, transparent ego which is congruent with the natural expression of my life stream. Is it normal to feel slightly “lighter” physically, or am I just imagining this?

    1. Sen Post author

      Eternus, it’s amazing that you’ve reached this place in a span of 4 months or so (I remember you talking about feeling lost and depressed, feeling deeply negative, due to a breakup just a few months back). This is what happens when a person becomes “totally allowing”, you reach inner wholeness in the shortest span. Yeah the feeling is of absolute lightness physically, it’s like being space, and as you said “transparent”. This is a permanent place, what I refer to as a the space of inner wholeness. From this place you will be living your natural expression, in sync with your life-stream’s pull, you will sense inspirations arising.

  6. Anu

    Dear Sen,

    Wonderful Article. Having suffered from OCD or as you explained it, symptoms of high momentum and lots of negative energy, I can relate very closely to what you described here.

    Also, I want to note that, as I understand, there is a difference between a pointer and a a technique. Relaxed awareness may start as a technique but is actually a pointer. I tried to use it as a technique but just using it as a pointer, where I am not “trying” helped me a lot.

    I also liked the idea of “wait” because we can be impatient and want to experience the bliss right away.

    Thanks a lot for wonderful articles…..

  7. Suhasini

    Sen,
    Thank you for your advise. I am able to stay in the place of relaxed awareness. My journey had been a long period of depression (over 10 years), troubled relationship and hard work. It was indeed a divine blessing that amongst all these I had the light in the form of Tolle. In an desperate effort to come out of the long period of depression and the intense crippling fear (that I mentioned to you in the counselling session with you), last month I consulted a psychiatrist. He put me on medication. According to him I need to take this medicine for 6 months and he would evaluate and slowly take me out of it at the end of sixth month. i am taking the medicine for the past one month. After your advise I feel very calm, relaxed and am able to be in the space of relaxed awareness. What do I do with my appointments with the psychiatrist and the medicine? I have my next appointment next week. Could you please advice?

    1. Sen Post author

      Suhasini, you need to follow your instinct with respect to whether you want to continue with some external therapy or if you feel that you can come to an inner stability on your own through the practice of relaxed awareness. The fact that you can maintain a space of relaxed awareness shows that you have the capacity to be consciously allowing of the negativity to be released, so you can bring forth all your healing on your own. But it’s still your choice if you feel you need to the support of the psychiatrist or medication, there are no “don’ts”, it’s just that you need to connect with yourself and find out what feels right for you at this moment.

  8. kay

    Hi Sen – I have noticed lately that there are very active dreams with lots going on. When I got up this morning I also noticed a lot of self talk like I am talking to someone else. I know this is a sign of an over active mind but there is not one thought that I can see as obsessive, no pattern to ths thinking to release nor holding in the body. Just a general identifying with thought. Can you comment on this?

    1. Sen Post author

      Kay, obsessive thoughts are just one symptom of an imbalance in your inner space created through a high momentum of negativity in the mind, not everyone has this symptom. If you sense that you don’t feel an inner stability in your being, and feel that your mind has lot of resistance, restlessness and conflict, or you feel that you are not aligned with the type of life that you desire to live as your heart’s calling, all these are also symptoms of an imbalance – the underlying problem being high momentum of negativity in the mind or suppressed negative energy in your body, which is creating resistance to your alignment with your life’s pull.

  9. Treeter

    Sen,
    Your explanations have not only helped me to be patient during this process/change but have helped me gain the needed understanding to be less and less fearful of this way of life. As I continue to detox I look forward to gaining the confidence needed to keep moving towards love/joy/peace.
    Thanks! Treeter

  10. kay

    Thank you, Sen, for your response. Just before discovering your website I read a book entitled
    “Thought as a System” by David Bohm. This book gave me an understanding of the power of
    thought which was sobering. Your site came as a blessing in furthering this understanding in a
    practical way along with pointers and your compassionate support to those of us who are ready to listen. I read where you said you are just doing what you felt drawn to do but all of
    these expressions of gratitude can’t tell you how deeply indebted I and I am sure others feel.
    It is a new message for me that there is another way to live besides believing these thoughts and self-images and that our natural expression of life is one of ease, joy and abundance. What is encouraging is when you said that just slowing down the momentum by 50% (I hope that percentage is correct) the other, natural dynamic of our Being takes over and we just go with the flow. So, I just have to meet it half way. Of course the mind wants to come in a say I am not doing this right. When I wrote about this self-talk I think it is mostly becoming aware of the negativity of mind that I thought was the only way to live. It has been my constant companion that is there for me like a drug to take away the pain. But like you said, it is grow-up time.

    1. jon

      Dear Kay,

      I have the same problem as you and its been hard waking up to chatter and buzz in my head about all sorts of negativity which doesn’t just arise from one specific problem.

      Tried to google help but I guess meditation or sleeping with silva meditation does help a bit, but i do wanna concentrate better on work and stuffs.

      Since it’s been almost a year, I was wondering how have you been coping and could you describe your process/story or success??

    2. Anonymous

      Hi Jon, thanks for your comments. What a journey this has been but I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. Sen’s blog has been a tremendous teacher and one of the lights that has given accurate guidance along the way. It has been over 20 years since the first hit of awareness when I read Nisargadatta. Something understood that there was another way to live and like Sen says, once you start there is no going back. You can only resist and make it more difficult and struggle but you can’t go back. So for anyone who is attracted to this blog….it is already too late. I have read, meditated, followed teachers, gone down blind alleys and one way streets, but something has not let me rest or give up. Everything you need is here in this blog…not only Sen but the people who also take the time to reply and comment. So grateful for their wisdom and generosity.

      For me it has been the force of the mind and emotions that have been so tight that even though I was aware of Truth I would be taken over and go into a trance. Very strong addiction. Trying to work with this has been like trying to open a tin can with a fingernail. A very hard nut to crack. So I think I am a bit worn down and able to surrender more easily to the stillness and not get sucked up into the ego. Ego is resistance. Balance, harmony, peace, love, acceptance is our natural state and it is the ego that takes us away. So going back to a place of balance isn’t truly accurate. It’s about finding out and understanding what takes you away from that natural state..not how do you get back there. I had to get to a place of hopelessness for the control of the ego to start loosening and to begin to surrender. It takes a quality of strength to be able to stay in that neutral place with out giving in to thoughts or emotions. So, for me, development of strength and will to stay with whatever is happening and to allow a space for thoughts and emotions to run their course had to develop. Sen’s post on fearlessness was one I read over and over. The ego wants to go out there and control and make things happen which gives it a false sense that we are running this show instead of realizing we are just one of the characters on the screen. This is like spinning our wheels. The character on the screen who is constantly seeking “out there” that which is already the case might be satisfied when it gets or achieves what it wants for a while, but that satisfaction is very brief and the seeking and dissatisfaction will soon take over again.

      All that being said, a corner was really turned for me when I read Sen’s post about the momentum of the loop between the brain and the heart and started listening to BrainEv the first of the year. I also did some reading on the affects trauma has on the brain. This has opened a new door of understanding and A way to work with building will and strength mentioned earlier and being fearless. I have been meditating for years and have had tastes of real acceptance and allowing and so know what is possible. When Sen mentioned how the loop between the brain and mind gets formed and how awareness makes it more destructive, he hit on a key I wasn’t aware of but knew it was the dilemma I was experiencing. I am experiencing deeper levels of emotional release and in the process becoming more fearless.

      Thank you, Sen, and thank you everyone on this post. I love you all. You are on a great journey of transformation.

  11. natalie

    Hi Sen. Thanks for your thoughtful posts. This one particularly struck a cord with me, as I struggle with obsessive thoughts and in particular, decision-making. I guess my main problem is that I seem to have to make decisions at the same time I have excessive anxiety and obsessive thinking, and then I waver back and forth, and distrust the decisions that I do make, thinking I should have gone the other way. It’s a never-ending cycle that I can’t seem to get out of. I feel like every decision is life-or-death, even though rationally I know that’s not true. So I guess my question is: How can you make a decision, and trust your gut and even find what your gut is telling you, when you’re in the midst of having obsessive thoughts, if holding off on making the decision isn’t an option? Thanks so much.

    1. natalie

      Also, I’m not quite sure I understand how to achieve relaxed awareness. Is it like meditating? Allowing the thoughts to pass through you without focusing on them or acting on them? Thanks.

  12. angel

    its been a while since ive been in this site but just wanted to say thanx. Thank you for making me realize that i am not the mind, most of my obssesive thinking was bizzare didn’t make sense until i stop trying to make sense of it and just let it go. I mean sure the thoughts come and go but no longer do i cling to something i dont understand i feel different like all my life ive been my own worst enemy the voice up there that disguise itself as me til recently when i found there is no I . It took me a while to get adjusted to this notion feels like my whole life was a lie but it doesnt matter because this is my new life this is were i want to be thank you sen my whole life change as soon as i read those words” you are not the mind” and i thank you for that.

  13. bhavna

    sen ,ur understanding of life on a humane level and beyond in simply amazing!…could you suggest what i can study or do in order to increase my knowledge and awareness and understanding of how life works on this earthly plane and beyond it?

    1. Sen Post author

      Bhavna, the more conscious/aware you are the more indepth understanding you gain of your own mind and of the reality of life on this physical plane as well as get a sense of your wholeness as life-energy itself. You can grow in awareness by spending time with yourself, without distractions (closing the eyes can help in this) and bring awareness to your mind and body space, you can start sensing how your body space actually feels free of boundaries when your eyes are closed, you can also start sensing the constant movement of your thinking mind. The more you stay in this space of awareness the more it grows in power and stability. When you come to a place of stability in your awareness, you can see through the various patterns of resistance/negativity in your mind and be able to release this negative momentum through dis-identification from it. Also as you grow in awareness you will automatically be attracted to resources that help you gain the understanding that you desire. A book that helped awaken awareness in me was – “The power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.

  14. Pavlo

    Hi Sen.

    My story is not unique I’m sure. I have been having obsessive thoughts
    about not being “acceptable” in a social context for almost 20 years now.
    I am on medication but after extensive work, my mind’s hold over me is slowly
    decreasing.(Very slowly). I have learned to meditate and am now able to practice mindless
    meditation for extends periods. I have a strong belief that I am not my thoughts and am rooted
    in my being. I know I am pure consciousness and I know the tricks of my mind. I practice meditation
    on average around 3 hours a day and have been doing this religiously since July 2011.
    You advice is so incredibly welcome to me. I am just a little unsure about how to move forward.
    I engage in watching the mind for thoughts and emotions and am getting better at simply watching the feelings
    which come about as a result of feeling inadequate. They DO go away but then return again.
    I realize simply giving them interest keeps them there, but they’re there just the same.
    Do I keep meditating? ( I don’t want meditation to simply become a method of escape, I want to face my anxiety and move into it)
    how do I blend moving Into to the emotion while still practicing
    thoughtless meditation? Do I just do one or the other ?

    I feel so much better since I learned to meditate but the obsessive thoughts
    are still there seemingly even after following your advice about not being fearful of the emotion.

    Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

    Pavlo

    1. Sen Post author

      Pavlo, practices like mindless meditation can be useful for a while in helping you grow your power of awareness, but once you gain some amount of awareness it’s time to let go of these practices, else they become a resistance of their own, they become an addiction or a crutch.

      Right now you already have a good amount of awareness, so you can let go of any “practices” and start opening up to life more fully. Let life be your teacher from here on. When I say don’t be fearful of the mind/emotion, I don’t mean try to fight them, I mean be free enough to be fully allowing them – don’t hold a distance, rather be willing to see them clearly and instead of wanting to get rid of them. You have face the real issues in your mind, you can’t just hope that they will disappear – even if the mind momentum reduces, you need to acknowledge the issues in order to dissolve them. If they are just random obsessive thoughts, try to look for the fear below them, what exactly is triggering these thoughts – usually it will be some practical fear that the mind has which you are not facing up to. Don’t try to escape life by trying to hide in your “being”. The reason why you connect with your being is so that you can fully engage with the mind and life from the place of wisdom. You can’t engage with the mind as long as you fear the mind, you have to make friends with the mind to really see its issues and bring wisdom to them by bringing your aware involvement with them.

    2. Ritu

      Sen, incase I am watchful and aware. And a fear is identified in the mind. Say, fear of being inadequate in some ways. Or fear of being alone in world or whatever. Now – I am not hiding from the fear, I am aware of it. In that sense I am allowing it. The mind goes into a dialogue trying to say that the fear is unjustified. I am watching the dialogue too. What needs to be done? Should I just stay in the moment? Anything else?

      Please help with your ever sound guidance ..Many many thanks.

    3. Sen Post author

      Ritu, be allowing of this fear fully, and allow its tension. When you are totally allowing it won’t be long before this tension relaxes on its own, and allows for an understanding/insight/manifestation to come through towards solving the negative thought or situation. You can read this recent post on this topic – allowing the tension of creation

  15. rkr

    senji, i have tried to look at my thoughts as the work of the brain , but it worked only for feww days and once i met those people because whom i had 2 years of mental suffering once again it started coming in a loop and now a days after i talk to any person i think so many times did i talk to them correctly or did i make mistake…have they mis understood me…..so many thoughts keep on coming…. as the people whom i was referring to had just mis used my helpful nature and crushed my confidence…. which iam unable to regain it back..although everything in my mind was fine and was confident too…but once i met them …everything collapsed. as you said i tried to look the thoughts as the work of brain but invain could do only until i was with my well wishers . but i want to face them bravely and behave as if nothing has happened.Strangely they were behaving as my close friends !! so this one incident has taken toll of my health i got used to series of thoughts…but gained courage and doing well until i met them once again. i dont know how can i get rid of their thoughts and iam craving for good name from all those people i suppose. why iam not able to concentrate that i have got hundreds of well wishers and only few people who has spoiled my self confidence. please tell me why this mind craves for those few people?????

    1. Sen Post author

      Rkr, the question is not why the mind behaves this way, the question is why are you so influenced by the mind? The mind can think what it wants, but why are you buying into all its thoughts? The mind will feel confident for a while, and then it will become fearful – this is how the mind fluctuates, and if you keep depending on the mind to give you a sense of security you will wait forever. Staying as a space of silent awareness you can simply witness the mind’s thoughts and arguments, and not buy into them. If you feel helpless towards falling for your mind’s thoughts, it just means you are yet to gain a strong grounding in your space of being. When you stay grounded in your space of being, and allow the mind to have its movements without identifying with all them, you can see through the mind’s limited thoughts and you will no longer believe in them they way you do right now. You will need to go through a phase of allowing your mind’s momentum to reduce so that you no longer feel pulled by its movement, the only way to do so is to stay grounded in your awareness and not give full belief to your mind’s thoughts while allowing them to arise as they want.

  16. Pavlo

    Thanks for your advice Sen. I will look deeper into my fears without ignoring or wishing them away. I know they can’t hurt me and my mind is part of my body, so nothing to be afraid of..

    Thanks again.

  17. Robert

    I read your article about how to curb obsessive thinking and like how you put the whole problem into words. To make a long story short, since I was a kid, I obsessively focused on fears or things wrong, had anxiety and avoided life/hid myself because of how I felt about myself from witnessing abuse. I sort of lived a life based on that and didn’t even realize it until I became an adult. When I became an adult suddenly I got panic attacks and started focusing on the fear of panic ( heartbeat ) or other fears obsessively. I’ve taken some meds which helped but caused weight gain and once I stopped the thoughts returned. I’m gonna try to disattach my mind from my body like your article says to.

  18. rkr

    senji, as you have advised i will try to be aware of the thoughts that are unnecessarily arising, but still i always had pain in my heart when my friends , relatives and even strangers on road looked distressed as if iam suffering from this pain. Isn’t it too much that i feel like a good soul? i literally see myself in that painful situation. And the greatest part is iam aware of all these things but unable to keep my thoughts not to be dragged into those virtual situations. i feel like i have to do and iam the one who has to help them……very strong urge comes to go and help them even though the help was not asked for.

    1. Sen Post author

      rkr, being over-sensitive becomes the cause of resistance and suffering as you can see in your life. The truth is that you can’t alleviate the suffering of others when you are suffering yourself. Suffering cannot heal suffering, in order to truly bring a solution for others you need to be connected with your own wholeness first, else all you will end up doing is create more problems for yourself and others. A lot of over-sensitive people become “victims” of others, where they get exploited by others, this is because when you are over-sensitive you lose touch with your wisdom and instinct, and just follow your mind’s sensitivity in blind way. Over-sensitive people are just imbalanced in the love dimension of the mind and are always targets for exploitation because they are needy for other’s approval and they are constant trying to please others while losing connection with themselves. You will need to bring a balance to this aspect in you, by seeing through the negativity of this over-sensitivity. Always remember that, your mind can call being over-sensitive as being “noble” and it might consider “self-sacrifice” as noble pursuit, but this is the very reason why you end up becoming a victim. You will need to see through this negativity because the mind can easily argue that it’s a positive to be self-sacrificing.

      You can read these posts to get some understanding on how to remove this imbalance your mind has in its love dimension

      Core elements of negativity in the mind (read the subsection about empathy)
      Don’t put yourself in others shoes
      Understanding the dimension of hatred in the mind

  19. rkr

    senji, I really don’t know the reason for this oversensitivity, but i do remember my friends in my childhood days used to tell me iaam oversensitive but never have understood about that . as ageing iam able to understand but it is so imbibed in me that iam unable to recover from it totally. as and when iam reading your articles i feel like it is a bliss that i can take care of myself now in a proper way, even though iam little bit worried that my 8 yr old daughter has got that oversensitivity of mine as inheritance to her. so what would you advice to see that my daughter should not become like me???its the biggest worry to me now a days whenever i see her crying. i over react and start giving lectures to her about how to take care of her from the cunningness of the outside world.pls do suggest how to raise my daughter so that she should be having high self esteem.

    1. Sen Post author

      rkr, words don’t teach as much as real life example does, so if your daughter sees you being over-sensitive to her responses, your lecture to her about being self-assured wouldn’t help much. She needs to see you having an inner stability, and when your words come from that place it carries a lot more power than when they come from a place of fear/worry about her.

  20. Cj_23

    Hello, I am in dire need of help. My OCD has gotten worse. I was home by myself for a week for spring break and I think this is what has made it worse. I have been brushing over my thoughts and acting like they dont come (not giving momentum) and i have also been trying to “let my mind air out” by letting it think whatever it wants to. But i feel like things have gotten worse. Maybe this is because its getting better??? I used to only have obsessive thoughts of homosexuality, now theyve turned to obsessive negative thoughts in general about any and everything. I do notice that the homosexual thoughts have slowed down and are almost gone. But other than that I cant stop thinking. But I do notice that sometimes and in some situations that arent anxiety provoking my mind is a lot calmer. What to do? Am I on the right track or am I pushing myself deeper into a whole? Thank you so much for taking to the time to read and help me out

  21. MB

    I have one question. During this prosess I have experienced that some of my old friends and also men that I have been attraced to never have time to see me anymore. It seems like they never have time to meet me when I want to. They are always bussy. It makes me frustrated because they always have an excuse for not to see me. It seems like its a lot of resistance there. Before I would have been really sad and maybe started crying, but now I only get frustrated.

    But at the same time people I haven’t spend so much time with before do have time to meet me. Is this normal?When I let go will they come back?Or is it a reason for they not calling me and wanting to meet me?

    1. Sen Post author

      MB, a big part of this process is about a shift in your vibe towards wholeness. As this shift happens internally, it reflects externally in your reality changing to match with this inner shift. People who are not a match to this vibe of wholeness in you, will be moved out of your reality or will have very little interaction with you – this is a good thing because their presence was either curbing your growth or creating some form of suffering in your life.

  22. Maria

    Sen,

    As an adult I can easily understand what you are saying and can apply the techniques and recommendations that you make. But it is my Son (10 years old) who is troubled by OCD. His obsessive thoughts cannot allow him to function properly. He is a loving, caring, smart boy that everyone loves and wants to help. It breaks our hearts to see that his obsessions do not allow him to get by a normal day in school and at home, which puts enormous stress on him and us. He is currently on medication which has helped only a bit, and we keep increasing the dosage, but it has already been over 1 year with the medications and he is still continuing to have these obsessions. He is also getting cognitive therapy. He cannot focus on anything because his mind always seems to be in over-drive with a million thoughts at a time. He also acts compulsively and has developed tics as a mechanism to externalize these thoughts. His tics are complex is the sense that he would blurt out sentences like “Touch my private parts” or “I’m gonna kill you” and then say “you know that I’m kidding and I would never do that. right?”. He would also perform actions like touch his legs/arms in weird ways against the furniture, etc. Have you had experience helping children? Can you share some techniques that I can use to help him? THANKS.

    1. Sen Post author

      Maria, the fuel for ocd, where the mind has a strong momentum to produce certain thoughts constantly, in a child, comes from the load of accumulated energy that he’s carrying in his body. It’s mostly not something he generated, it’s something he came with. You see the negative energy can get passed on as cellular memory, until it gets released consciously. As a child, he obviously has low awareness, and hence it may be difficult for him to release the energy consciously, but what you can do is to help him become aware of this energy more and more – asking him to be conscious of when it arises as thought or feeling for action, and to not just act it out unconsciously, it will of course take some time before he can really be aware, and it will happen as he grows up. Also, it’s important to give him total acceptance and not make him feel as if there is anything wrong, because it’s so easy for an adult mind to judge.

  23. annyta

    hello,i was reading the other comments and people seem to respond well to this state of being aware,if i can call it this way.i wish i could come out from this darkness that i’ve been in for over a month.i had a hard time trying to ‘kill’ my negative toughts,avoiding them or trying to think positive.nothing worked.today i found your blog and already i’m trying to implement your sugestions.i hope it’s gonna help me.but what do i do when i feel that a bad tought is ‘trying’ to convince me that i’m that tought,or that is the way i want it to be,though i’m not like that at all.i know myself,how i used to be,how i used to think…and i wasn’t this way.is just overwhelming and is milking away my energy,i feel so lost.pls…give me some advice!!!thank you!

    1. Sen Post author

      Annyta, you can read this recent post – at peace with this moment – which addresses your question.

  24. Paddy

    Dear Sen! If the source of OCD thoughts is negative energy or surpressed negative energy, why children have OCD? Why do they get stuck on a thought? Where have they accumulated these negative thoughts?

    1. Sen Post author

      Paddy, I’ve explained this in the post, that the negative energy gets stored as “cellular memory”, and can be passed on to the offspring. What you need to understand is that the OCD thoughts need a “fuel”, they don’t run on their own – and the fuel is the negative energy store-up in the body. A child can develop any form of negative thinking as part of the ocd, but it’s basically fueled by the negative energy he/she carries as per the inheritance from the parents gene pool.

  25. alchemista

    Sen, why do I keep forgetting that I am not my mind? It seems a long while I have been watching, observing, allowing my mind and being with all the negativity that arises. All this back and forth and focus on my mind seems like such a waste of energy all of a sudden. Why do I forget that I am much more than my mind?

    1. Sen Post author

      It’s not about rejecting the mind, it’s about letting go of the negativity. Trying to reject the mind, or trying to reach for some spiritual abyss outside the mind, is just another form of negativity. The mind is an aspect of you, and its designed for experiencing and expressing in this physicality, it’s important to align with your mind while letting go of negativity – that’s the balance that you need to bring about, and it happens naturally when you are not fighting the mind but just stay allowing of it from a space of relaxed awareness, you can read this post – space of being for more insights on this.

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