Most people who get stuck with obsessive thoughts, or people who have an anxiety condition (where their brain is constantly thinking anxious thoughts), fail to realize that this condition is a “symptom” and not the problem itself. They keep trying to treat the symptom without acknowledging the real problem. They look to try to solve their obsessive thoughts through logical thinking or through positive affirmations or by trying to suppress/ignore the thoughts, and of course none of this seems to work, because the thoughts are just a symptom, the actual problem is with the underlying imbalance of energy (accumulation of negative energy) in the body and the high momentum of the brain.
Because the brain has developed a high momentum it’s able to repeat the thoughts in fast succession, and the presence of a lot of suppressed negative energy in the body creates the flavor of thought (depending on the energy that’s suppressed, for example if hatred and sexuality is suppressed the flavor of the obsessive thoughts is along the lines of sexual violence). Both these issues get resolved together when one starts practicing relaxed awareness, because in this state of allowing the brain’s momentum comes down and the negative energy gets released from the body (at the cellular level).
Your body cells not only store nutrition, but also information in the form cellular memory, where they store the memory of energy/vibration of emotions and thoughts. These cellular memories keep recreating this energy in the body, and when you feel “negative” (fearful or hateful) about these energies coming up, you are basically creating new negative energy which again gets stored as a memory in the cells – thus keeping the cycle going. Of course, some of this cellular memory gets passed on into the gene pool, hence the offsprings contain the cellular memories of their parents and ancestors, which includes their negativity. The only reason why this understanding is even needed is so that you can get a sense that a good amount of your negativity is not even personal to your specific body – it was just part of your inheritance. Now this should not become an excuse to sit blaming your parents, and your family tree, rather it should just assist in you not making your negativity so personal, which allows you to release it since you are no longer investing it with personal identity.
Bringing relaxed awareness to obsessive thoughts
Remember that thoughts are fueled by your brain’s momentum and your body’s negative energy content, so just trying to solve the thoughts “logically” by telling yourself some positive statements, or seeing through the falseness of the thoughts is not enough by itself. Don’t expect the thoughts to stop just because you’ve seen through their falseness, because these thoughts are running on the brain’s past momentum and are being fueled by the negative energy content in your body. You need to allow for the time for the release of the negative energy, and for the reduction of brain momentum, and in a simple sense you just need to stay open to allowing them, and wait. Most people don’t “wait”, they get impatient too soon, they don’t trust this process of total allowing (because they don’t gain a scientific understanding this process, and just try to “believe” it because a teacher says so), they may even think that this is too simple and want some “extra ordinary” process.
Relaxed awareness just means to sit back and allow fully what arises in the mind and in the energy space of your body – it’s that simple in execution. Initially, in order for your awareness to grow, it’s helpful to just watch your mind, and watch your feelings, for a few days/weeks (depending on how strong your awareness already is) as if you are watching a movie – in a sense of detached/distant observation. Once you sense that you’ve become quite aware of your inner space, of thoughts/feelings, it’s time to start letting go of “trying” to be aware and just relax your awareness – like just sitting, being relaxed, and allowing what arises to arise. Don’t complicate anything, it’s really simple, the pointer is to just be open to what arises without requiring over-analysis.
As you stay in this space of relaxed awareness, you will notice a natural process of “release” starting to happen. This release, I call it “energy detox”, can take a while to complete and it will happen in layers, depending on how much accumulation is present in your body. Be prepared for some restlessness in the body as the energies start getting released, it’s normal, and it’s part of the detox – you can feel fatigued during and after a layer of release, you can have some sleeplessness during the release, your body can feel some aches and cramps (or even a little feverish sometimes during an intense release), the mind can have higher intensity of thoughts (during the release) and can produce a plethora of negative images/arguments, there will be physical sensations as the energies are released and your body moves into a higher vibration. There will be periods of bliss and relief, in between the cycles of detox. Remember that each body is unique and reacts differently to this detox, plus each person has a different load of accumulated negative energy. The bottom line is that this process causes the body to start moving towards a real harmony, and the unpleasantness is just temporary.
Actually to go through this process is all about being an adult, and not being a child within. A true adult can handle some discomfort, but when an adult is still clinging to his/her child identity, he/she behaves like a child getting flustered at the smallest hint of discomfort, to such people the only pointer would be to realize that they are an adult now and thus not behave like a child – I would say, if you are 12 and above, and have some ability for “reason”, or logic, in your brain, you can be an adult in this sense and develop the capacity to go through this process of detox.
Some effects of energy detox
I would estimate that close to 70% of the negativity in the brain is created from the accumulated negative energy in the body (that came as part of your inheritance). The other 30% is created from learnt conditioning from the outside. Your unconscious focus on this negativity, starting from your childhood days, causes the build up of negative momentum in your brain, and also causes the creation on new negative energy which starts getting accumulated. It’s only when you start becoming aware of the choice you have in releasing this negativity, that you actually start moving towards freedom from the load of accumulated negativity in you.
The deal with this process is that when you start becoming relaxed and allowing, the stored up negative energies start coming up more freely to be released. To relax in your being is like opening up a valve that allows the pent up water of the dam to gush out freely. Most people start doubting themselves at this point, because they thought that they will just feel “blissed out” through this process, but what they find is a huge surge of negativity for a while. Another problem is that anyone who starts letting go feels blissed out for a while, which is the initial phase, and this relaxation causes the suppressed energies to move up to be released which cuts out the blissed out feeling – causing you to imagine that you did something wrong, or that you are not doing it right. When in truth, this is the way the process of detox operates, and the periods of having a high surge of negative energy coming up is a positive sign that you are emptying out so much of your past accumulation.
Your brain can seem to go on an overdrive for a while, during the release, and it will pump out a lot of doubts, fears and tell you that “this is not right”. This is normal because the brain is designed to oppose anything that feels negative in the body. The deal is to not buy into your brain’s fears, and just continue staying open to the release. The problem is that the brain can get really tricky with its arguments and fears, causing you to believe it (if you are not aware enough), which just means you will find yourself fueling the negativity. Don’t be tricked by your brain’s antics, and just stay open to the release, and understand that there are no short-cuts or quick-fixes, the energy accumulated needs to get released “consciously” for it to not get recycled again.
This process is temporary but when you are the middle of the storm you don’t know when it’s going to end and this can make you feel uncertain. This again is normal, and you need to allow this feeling of uncertainty. There is a permanent ending of this energy detox, and especially during the final stages is when you may experience a lot of energy release. You should look at enjoying this whole process, if you are really relaxed you can sense a calm in the background as the agitation of the energy release happens, and you can enjoy this release – and when you start enjoying this process is when the release happens more quickly because now there is very little resistance in your being. People who sit worried during the release actually create resistance to the release, and hence delay it.
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Hello Sen!
Can you talk briefly about the value of doing things you love/being creative/following your passion while this process happens? Does it help or full clarity for those pursuits only arise after you have gained more stability?
Dan, allow yourself to follow your inspiration towards creativity and joy, follow your call towards enjoying life, after all that’s the whole point of being resistance free that you can savor life in this physicality from a place of connection/alignment. It helps the process of detox, when you allow yourself to enjoy your inspirations because joy is true relaxation for the body – you can go for a hike along the hillside, play with pet, enjoy music, food or indulge in some creativity as is the inspiration. During this process your consciousness is connected with your life-space and you can freely follow the inspirations that come through, don’t judge your drive towards joy. Just ensure that you are not trying to escape the release by using activities as a distraction, you need to be authentic with yourself on that – your own honesty is what takes you through this process.
In both (highs and lows), while releasing negative energy and same in the blissful highs and reliefs I had background layer in form of impatience and insecurity.
Now this moment of calm/high relief is different. What i feel is not thought or excitement for a simple shift of vibration that happened after last releasing, this feels more like deep knowing and realization in body, an excitement in every cell, that for sure good thing is going on and feeling of a liberation and alignment itself that is indeed coming soon. It is amazing, as cellular party and celebration of process is going on.
I hope the future releasing will be less underlined with worry and impatience and be more with joy of positive transformation as you mentioned in last paragraph.
One thing is sure, without your share here, I would be still worried and in dark.
Wow this really helps I’m 12 years of age and I have h ad obsessive. Negative thoughts for about 3months I was always worried as soon as I read this slowly by time everything is going away
That is so true.. this post made us realize what was actually going on…
Thanks Sen for the re-iteration, especially about the surges of negativity
Sen,
Could you distinguish the difference between allowing and fueling negativity? When I sit back and allow from a place of awareness I have many negative feelings and thoughts rush through me such as panic, anger, hatred, and sadness. How do allow these thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in fueling them?
Seva, “allowing” is not a technique, it’s just a pointer which you can understand if you just sense what it means in your heart. Allowing just means that you are “open” to what arises. The mind is bound to create some resistance to allowing the negative energy, because the mind habitually opposes bad feelings from arising. Here, you need to realize that you are not the mind and you don’t have to buy into the mind’s resistance, and you can simply stay as a “space” of allowing, you can totally allow the mind’s resistance also. Your attitude should simply be one of not being worried about what arises, but being consciously relaxed about it – even if the body contracts and the mind is in resistance to the negative energy, you can still stay open to all of this. The only way you can truly stay open is when you have some space of awareness which is not totally caught up in the mind or the feelings – this space of awareness allows you the choice to let what arises just arise. Even if you become identified with the mind for a while, it’s totally okay, don’t try too hard at this – every time you become aware that you are lost in the mind, just relax your “focus” on the mind, and stay in a space of just allowing its movements, in the same way, allow the emotional energies to arise without contracting on them or worrying about them. It’s normal to feel some sense of fear when a lot of these energies arise, but the more conscious you are the less likely you are to be totally lost in the fear, this space allows you to have the courage to simply stay open and allow the release.
Sen,
I am currently experiencing the “blissed out” feeling, but it’s reached a new stage. It’s not the same feeling of peace, it’s more a feeling of joy, like there are no problems any more. I feel like the boundaries of the shell I was living in have almost (i say almost because I don’t know) completely dissolved, and it’s an incredibly liberating experience. I currently have no idea who I am, but I don’t care either. It’s a complete loss of self-identity, yet it feels so boundless and free. I do not recognise my “self”, I just know it wasn’t real in the first place. I am a blank canvas, waiting for a new, transparent ego which is congruent with the natural expression of my life stream. Is it normal to feel slightly “lighter” physically, or am I just imagining this?
Eternus, it’s amazing that you’ve reached this place in a span of 4 months or so (I remember you talking about feeling lost and depressed, feeling deeply negative, due to a breakup just a few months back). This is what happens when a person becomes “totally allowing”, you reach inner wholeness in the shortest span. Yeah the feeling is of absolute lightness physically, it’s like being space, and as you said “transparent”. This is a permanent place, what I refer to as a the space of inner wholeness. From this place you will be living your natural expression, in sync with your life-stream’s pull, you will sense inspirations arising.
Dear Sen,
Wonderful Article. Having suffered from OCD or as you explained it, symptoms of high momentum and lots of negative energy, I can relate very closely to what you described here.
Also, I want to note that, as I understand, there is a difference between a pointer and a a technique. Relaxed awareness may start as a technique but is actually a pointer. I tried to use it as a technique but just using it as a pointer, where I am not “trying” helped me a lot.
I also liked the idea of “wait” because we can be impatient and want to experience the bliss right away.
Thanks a lot for wonderful articles…..
Sen,
Thank you for your advise. I am able to stay in the place of relaxed awareness. My journey had been a long period of depression (over 10 years), troubled relationship and hard work. It was indeed a divine blessing that amongst all these I had the light in the form of Tolle. In an desperate effort to come out of the long period of depression and the intense crippling fear (that I mentioned to you in the counselling session with you), last month I consulted a psychiatrist. He put me on medication. According to him I need to take this medicine for 6 months and he would evaluate and slowly take me out of it at the end of sixth month. i am taking the medicine for the past one month. After your advise I feel very calm, relaxed and am able to be in the space of relaxed awareness. What do I do with my appointments with the psychiatrist and the medicine? I have my next appointment next week. Could you please advice?
Suhasini, you need to follow your instinct with respect to whether you want to continue with some external therapy or if you feel that you can come to an inner stability on your own through the practice of relaxed awareness. The fact that you can maintain a space of relaxed awareness shows that you have the capacity to be consciously allowing of the negativity to be released, so you can bring forth all your healing on your own. But it’s still your choice if you feel you need to the support of the psychiatrist or medication, there are no “don’ts”, it’s just that you need to connect with yourself and find out what feels right for you at this moment.
Hi Sen – I have noticed lately that there are very active dreams with lots going on. When I got up this morning I also noticed a lot of self talk like I am talking to someone else. I know this is a sign of an over active mind but there is not one thought that I can see as obsessive, no pattern to ths thinking to release nor holding in the body. Just a general identifying with thought. Can you comment on this?
Kay, obsessive thoughts are just one symptom of an imbalance in your inner space created through a high momentum of negativity in the mind, not everyone has this symptom. If you sense that you don’t feel an inner stability in your being, and feel that your mind has lot of resistance, restlessness and conflict, or you feel that you are not aligned with the type of life that you desire to live as your heart’s calling, all these are also symptoms of an imbalance – the underlying problem being high momentum of negativity in the mind or suppressed negative energy in your body, which is creating resistance to your alignment with your life’s pull.
Sen,
Your explanations have not only helped me to be patient during this process/change but have helped me gain the needed understanding to be less and less fearful of this way of life. As I continue to detox I look forward to gaining the confidence needed to keep moving towards love/joy/peace.
Thanks! Treeter
Thank you, Sen, for your response. Just before discovering your website I read a book entitled
“Thought as a System” by David Bohm. This book gave me an understanding of the power of
thought which was sobering. Your site came as a blessing in furthering this understanding in a
practical way along with pointers and your compassionate support to those of us who are ready to listen. I read where you said you are just doing what you felt drawn to do but all of
these expressions of gratitude can’t tell you how deeply indebted I and I am sure others feel.
It is a new message for me that there is another way to live besides believing these thoughts and self-images and that our natural expression of life is one of ease, joy and abundance. What is encouraging is when you said that just slowing down the momentum by 50% (I hope that percentage is correct) the other, natural dynamic of our Being takes over and we just go with the flow. So, I just have to meet it half way. Of course the mind wants to come in a say I am not doing this right. When I wrote about this self-talk I think it is mostly becoming aware of the negativity of mind that I thought was the only way to live. It has been my constant companion that is there for me like a drug to take away the pain. But like you said, it is grow-up time.
Dear Kay,
I have the same problem as you and its been hard waking up to chatter and buzz in my head about all sorts of negativity which doesn’t just arise from one specific problem.
Tried to google help but I guess meditation or sleeping with silva meditation does help a bit, but i do wanna concentrate better on work and stuffs.
Since it’s been almost a year, I was wondering how have you been coping and could you describe your process/story or success??
Hi Jon, thanks for your comments. What a journey this has been but I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. Sen’s blog has been a tremendous teacher and one of the lights that has given accurate guidance along the way. It has been over 20 years since the first hit of awareness when I read Nisargadatta. Something understood that there was another way to live and like Sen says, once you start there is no going back. You can only resist and make it more difficult and struggle but you can’t go back. So for anyone who is attracted to this blog….it is already too late. I have read, meditated, followed teachers, gone down blind alleys and one way streets, but something has not let me rest or give up. Everything you need is here in this blog…not only Sen but the people who also take the time to reply and comment. So grateful for their wisdom and generosity.
For me it has been the force of the mind and emotions that have been so tight that even though I was aware of Truth I would be taken over and go into a trance. Very strong addiction. Trying to work with this has been like trying to open a tin can with a fingernail. A very hard nut to crack. So I think I am a bit worn down and able to surrender more easily to the stillness and not get sucked up into the ego. Ego is resistance. Balance, harmony, peace, love, acceptance is our natural state and it is the ego that takes us away. So going back to a place of balance isn’t truly accurate. It’s about finding out and understanding what takes you away from that natural state..not how do you get back there. I had to get to a place of hopelessness for the control of the ego to start loosening and to begin to surrender. It takes a quality of strength to be able to stay in that neutral place with out giving in to thoughts or emotions. So, for me, development of strength and will to stay with whatever is happening and to allow a space for thoughts and emotions to run their course had to develop. Sen’s post on fearlessness was one I read over and over. The ego wants to go out there and control and make things happen which gives it a false sense that we are running this show instead of realizing we are just one of the characters on the screen. This is like spinning our wheels. The character on the screen who is constantly seeking “out there” that which is already the case might be satisfied when it gets or achieves what it wants for a while, but that satisfaction is very brief and the seeking and dissatisfaction will soon take over again.
All that being said, a corner was really turned for me when I read Sen’s post about the momentum of the loop between the brain and the heart and started listening to BrainEv the first of the year. I also did some reading on the affects trauma has on the brain. This has opened a new door of understanding and A way to work with building will and strength mentioned earlier and being fearless. I have been meditating for years and have had tastes of real acceptance and allowing and so know what is possible. When Sen mentioned how the loop between the brain and mind gets formed and how awareness makes it more destructive, he hit on a key I wasn’t aware of but knew it was the dilemma I was experiencing. I am experiencing deeper levels of emotional release and in the process becoming more fearless.
Thank you, Sen, and thank you everyone on this post. I love you all. You are on a great journey of transformation.
Hi Sen. Thanks for your thoughtful posts. This one particularly struck a cord with me, as I struggle with obsessive thoughts and in particular, decision-making. I guess my main problem is that I seem to have to make decisions at the same time I have excessive anxiety and obsessive thinking, and then I waver back and forth, and distrust the decisions that I do make, thinking I should have gone the other way. It’s a never-ending cycle that I can’t seem to get out of. I feel like every decision is life-or-death, even though rationally I know that’s not true. So I guess my question is: How can you make a decision, and trust your gut and even find what your gut is telling you, when you’re in the midst of having obsessive thoughts, if holding off on making the decision isn’t an option? Thanks so much.
Also, I’m not quite sure I understand how to achieve relaxed awareness. Is it like meditating? Allowing the thoughts to pass through you without focusing on them or acting on them? Thanks.
its been a while since ive been in this site but just wanted to say thanx. Thank you for making me realize that i am not the mind, most of my obssesive thinking was bizzare didn’t make sense until i stop trying to make sense of it and just let it go. I mean sure the thoughts come and go but no longer do i cling to something i dont understand i feel different like all my life ive been my own worst enemy the voice up there that disguise itself as me til recently when i found there is no I . It took me a while to get adjusted to this notion feels like my whole life was a lie but it doesnt matter because this is my new life this is were i want to be thank you sen my whole life change as soon as i read those words” you are not the mind” and i thank you for that.
sen ,ur understanding of life on a humane level and beyond in simply amazing!…could you suggest what i can study or do in order to increase my knowledge and awareness and understanding of how life works on this earthly plane and beyond it?
Bhavna, the more conscious/aware you are the more indepth understanding you gain of your own mind and of the reality of life on this physical plane as well as get a sense of your wholeness as life-energy itself. You can grow in awareness by spending time with yourself, without distractions (closing the eyes can help in this) and bring awareness to your mind and body space, you can start sensing how your body space actually feels free of boundaries when your eyes are closed, you can also start sensing the constant movement of your thinking mind. The more you stay in this space of awareness the more it grows in power and stability. When you come to a place of stability in your awareness, you can see through the various patterns of resistance/negativity in your mind and be able to release this negative momentum through dis-identification from it. Also as you grow in awareness you will automatically be attracted to resources that help you gain the understanding that you desire. A book that helped awaken awareness in me was – “The power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.
Hi Sen.
My story is not unique I’m sure. I have been having obsessive thoughts
about not being “acceptable” in a social context for almost 20 years now.
I am on medication but after extensive work, my mind’s hold over me is slowly
decreasing.(Very slowly). I have learned to meditate and am now able to practice mindless
meditation for extends periods. I have a strong belief that I am not my thoughts and am rooted
in my being. I know I am pure consciousness and I know the tricks of my mind. I practice meditation
on average around 3 hours a day and have been doing this religiously since July 2011.
You advice is so incredibly welcome to me. I am just a little unsure about how to move forward.
I engage in watching the mind for thoughts and emotions and am getting better at simply watching the feelings
which come about as a result of feeling inadequate. They DO go away but then return again.
I realize simply giving them interest keeps them there, but they’re there just the same.
Do I keep meditating? ( I don’t want meditation to simply become a method of escape, I want to face my anxiety and move into it)
how do I blend moving Into to the emotion while still practicing
thoughtless meditation? Do I just do one or the other ?
I feel so much better since I learned to meditate but the obsessive thoughts
are still there seemingly even after following your advice about not being fearful of the emotion.
Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.
Pavlo
Pavlo, practices like mindless meditation can be useful for a while in helping you grow your power of awareness, but once you gain some amount of awareness it’s time to let go of these practices, else they become a resistance of their own, they become an addiction or a crutch.
Right now you already have a good amount of awareness, so you can let go of any “practices” and start opening up to life more fully. Let life be your teacher from here on. When I say don’t be fearful of the mind/emotion, I don’t mean try to fight them, I mean be free enough to be fully allowing them – don’t hold a distance, rather be willing to see them clearly and instead of wanting to get rid of them. You have face the real issues in your mind, you can’t just hope that they will disappear – even if the mind momentum reduces, you need to acknowledge the issues in order to dissolve them. If they are just random obsessive thoughts, try to look for the fear below them, what exactly is triggering these thoughts – usually it will be some practical fear that the mind has which you are not facing up to. Don’t try to escape life by trying to hide in your “being”. The reason why you connect with your being is so that you can fully engage with the mind and life from the place of wisdom. You can’t engage with the mind as long as you fear the mind, you have to make friends with the mind to really see its issues and bring wisdom to them by bringing your aware involvement with them.
Sen, incase I am watchful and aware. And a fear is identified in the mind. Say, fear of being inadequate in some ways. Or fear of being alone in world or whatever. Now – I am not hiding from the fear, I am aware of it. In that sense I am allowing it. The mind goes into a dialogue trying to say that the fear is unjustified. I am watching the dialogue too. What needs to be done? Should I just stay in the moment? Anything else?
Please help with your ever sound guidance ..Many many thanks.
Ritu, be allowing of this fear fully, and allow its tension. When you are totally allowing it won’t be long before this tension relaxes on its own, and allows for an understanding/insight/manifestation to come through towards solving the negative thought or situation. You can read this recent post on this topic – allowing the tension of creation
senji, i have tried to look at my thoughts as the work of the brain , but it worked only for feww days and once i met those people because whom i had 2 years of mental suffering once again it started coming in a loop and now a days after i talk to any person i think so many times did i talk to them correctly or did i make mistake…have they mis understood me…..so many thoughts keep on coming…. as the people whom i was referring to had just mis used my helpful nature and crushed my confidence…. which iam unable to regain it back..although everything in my mind was fine and was confident too…but once i met them …everything collapsed. as you said i tried to look the thoughts as the work of brain but invain could do only until i was with my well wishers . but i want to face them bravely and behave as if nothing has happened.Strangely they were behaving as my close friends !! so this one incident has taken toll of my health i got used to series of thoughts…but gained courage and doing well until i met them once again. i dont know how can i get rid of their thoughts and iam craving for good name from all those people i suppose. why iam not able to concentrate that i have got hundreds of well wishers and only few people who has spoiled my self confidence. please tell me why this mind craves for those few people?????
Rkr, the question is not why the mind behaves this way, the question is why are you so influenced by the mind? The mind can think what it wants, but why are you buying into all its thoughts? The mind will feel confident for a while, and then it will become fearful – this is how the mind fluctuates, and if you keep depending on the mind to give you a sense of security you will wait forever. Staying as a space of silent awareness you can simply witness the mind’s thoughts and arguments, and not buy into them. If you feel helpless towards falling for your mind’s thoughts, it just means you are yet to gain a strong grounding in your space of being. When you stay grounded in your space of being, and allow the mind to have its movements without identifying with all them, you can see through the mind’s limited thoughts and you will no longer believe in them they way you do right now. You will need to go through a phase of allowing your mind’s momentum to reduce so that you no longer feel pulled by its movement, the only way to do so is to stay grounded in your awareness and not give full belief to your mind’s thoughts while allowing them to arise as they want.
Thanks for your advice Sen. I will look deeper into my fears without ignoring or wishing them away. I know they can’t hurt me and my mind is part of my body, so nothing to be afraid of..
Thanks again.
I read your article about how to curb obsessive thinking and like how you put the whole problem into words. To make a long story short, since I was a kid, I obsessively focused on fears or things wrong, had anxiety and avoided life/hid myself because of how I felt about myself from witnessing abuse. I sort of lived a life based on that and didn’t even realize it until I became an adult. When I became an adult suddenly I got panic attacks and started focusing on the fear of panic ( heartbeat ) or other fears obsessively. I’ve taken some meds which helped but caused weight gain and once I stopped the thoughts returned. I’m gonna try to disattach my mind from my body like your article says to.
senji, as you have advised i will try to be aware of the thoughts that are unnecessarily arising, but still i always had pain in my heart when my friends , relatives and even strangers on road looked distressed as if iam suffering from this pain. Isn’t it too much that i feel like a good soul? i literally see myself in that painful situation. And the greatest part is iam aware of all these things but unable to keep my thoughts not to be dragged into those virtual situations. i feel like i have to do and iam the one who has to help them……very strong urge comes to go and help them even though the help was not asked for.
rkr, being over-sensitive becomes the cause of resistance and suffering as you can see in your life. The truth is that you can’t alleviate the suffering of others when you are suffering yourself. Suffering cannot heal suffering, in order to truly bring a solution for others you need to be connected with your own wholeness first, else all you will end up doing is create more problems for yourself and others. A lot of over-sensitive people become “victims” of others, where they get exploited by others, this is because when you are over-sensitive you lose touch with your wisdom and instinct, and just follow your mind’s sensitivity in blind way. Over-sensitive people are just imbalanced in the love dimension of the mind and are always targets for exploitation because they are needy for other’s approval and they are constant trying to please others while losing connection with themselves. You will need to bring a balance to this aspect in you, by seeing through the negativity of this over-sensitivity. Always remember that, your mind can call being over-sensitive as being “noble” and it might consider “self-sacrifice” as noble pursuit, but this is the very reason why you end up becoming a victim. You will need to see through this negativity because the mind can easily argue that it’s a positive to be self-sacrificing.
You can read these posts to get some understanding on how to remove this imbalance your mind has in its love dimension
Core elements of negativity in the mind (read the subsection about empathy)
Don’t put yourself in others shoes
Understanding the dimension of hatred in the mind
senji, I really don’t know the reason for this oversensitivity, but i do remember my friends in my childhood days used to tell me iaam oversensitive but never have understood about that . as ageing iam able to understand but it is so imbibed in me that iam unable to recover from it totally. as and when iam reading your articles i feel like it is a bliss that i can take care of myself now in a proper way, even though iam little bit worried that my 8 yr old daughter has got that oversensitivity of mine as inheritance to her. so what would you advice to see that my daughter should not become like me???its the biggest worry to me now a days whenever i see her crying. i over react and start giving lectures to her about how to take care of her from the cunningness of the outside world.pls do suggest how to raise my daughter so that she should be having high self esteem.
rkr, words don’t teach as much as real life example does, so if your daughter sees you being over-sensitive to her responses, your lecture to her about being self-assured wouldn’t help much. She needs to see you having an inner stability, and when your words come from that place it carries a lot more power than when they come from a place of fear/worry about her.
Hello, I am in dire need of help. My OCD has gotten worse. I was home by myself for a week for spring break and I think this is what has made it worse. I have been brushing over my thoughts and acting like they dont come (not giving momentum) and i have also been trying to “let my mind air out” by letting it think whatever it wants to. But i feel like things have gotten worse. Maybe this is because its getting better??? I used to only have obsessive thoughts of homosexuality, now theyve turned to obsessive negative thoughts in general about any and everything. I do notice that the homosexual thoughts have slowed down and are almost gone. But other than that I cant stop thinking. But I do notice that sometimes and in some situations that arent anxiety provoking my mind is a lot calmer. What to do? Am I on the right track or am I pushing myself deeper into a whole? Thank you so much for taking to the time to read and help me out
I have one question. During this prosess I have experienced that some of my old friends and also men that I have been attraced to never have time to see me anymore. It seems like they never have time to meet me when I want to. They are always bussy. It makes me frustrated because they always have an excuse for not to see me. It seems like its a lot of resistance there. Before I would have been really sad and maybe started crying, but now I only get frustrated.
But at the same time people I haven’t spend so much time with before do have time to meet me. Is this normal?When I let go will they come back?Or is it a reason for they not calling me and wanting to meet me?
MB, a big part of this process is about a shift in your vibe towards wholeness. As this shift happens internally, it reflects externally in your reality changing to match with this inner shift. People who are not a match to this vibe of wholeness in you, will be moved out of your reality or will have very little interaction with you – this is a good thing because their presence was either curbing your growth or creating some form of suffering in your life.
Sen,
As an adult I can easily understand what you are saying and can apply the techniques and recommendations that you make. But it is my Son (10 years old) who is troubled by OCD. His obsessive thoughts cannot allow him to function properly. He is a loving, caring, smart boy that everyone loves and wants to help. It breaks our hearts to see that his obsessions do not allow him to get by a normal day in school and at home, which puts enormous stress on him and us. He is currently on medication which has helped only a bit, and we keep increasing the dosage, but it has already been over 1 year with the medications and he is still continuing to have these obsessions. He is also getting cognitive therapy. He cannot focus on anything because his mind always seems to be in over-drive with a million thoughts at a time. He also acts compulsively and has developed tics as a mechanism to externalize these thoughts. His tics are complex is the sense that he would blurt out sentences like “Touch my private parts” or “I’m gonna kill you” and then say “you know that I’m kidding and I would never do that. right?”. He would also perform actions like touch his legs/arms in weird ways against the furniture, etc. Have you had experience helping children? Can you share some techniques that I can use to help him? THANKS.
Maria, the fuel for ocd, where the mind has a strong momentum to produce certain thoughts constantly, in a child, comes from the load of accumulated energy that he’s carrying in his body. It’s mostly not something he generated, it’s something he came with. You see the negative energy can get passed on as cellular memory, until it gets released consciously. As a child, he obviously has low awareness, and hence it may be difficult for him to release the energy consciously, but what you can do is to help him become aware of this energy more and more – asking him to be conscious of when it arises as thought or feeling for action, and to not just act it out unconsciously, it will of course take some time before he can really be aware, and it will happen as he grows up. Also, it’s important to give him total acceptance and not make him feel as if there is anything wrong, because it’s so easy for an adult mind to judge.
hello,i was reading the other comments and people seem to respond well to this state of being aware,if i can call it this way.i wish i could come out from this darkness that i’ve been in for over a month.i had a hard time trying to ‘kill’ my negative toughts,avoiding them or trying to think positive.nothing worked.today i found your blog and already i’m trying to implement your sugestions.i hope it’s gonna help me.but what do i do when i feel that a bad tought is ‘trying’ to convince me that i’m that tought,or that is the way i want it to be,though i’m not like that at all.i know myself,how i used to be,how i used to think…and i wasn’t this way.is just overwhelming and is milking away my energy,i feel so lost.pls…give me some advice!!!thank you!
Annyta, you can read this recent post – at peace with this moment – which addresses your question.
Dear Sen! If the source of OCD thoughts is negative energy or surpressed negative energy, why children have OCD? Why do they get stuck on a thought? Where have they accumulated these negative thoughts?
Paddy, I’ve explained this in the post, that the negative energy gets stored as “cellular memory”, and can be passed on to the offspring. What you need to understand is that the OCD thoughts need a “fuel”, they don’t run on their own – and the fuel is the negative energy store-up in the body. A child can develop any form of negative thinking as part of the ocd, but it’s basically fueled by the negative energy he/she carries as per the inheritance from the parents gene pool.
Sen, why do I keep forgetting that I am not my mind? It seems a long while I have been watching, observing, allowing my mind and being with all the negativity that arises. All this back and forth and focus on my mind seems like such a waste of energy all of a sudden. Why do I forget that I am much more than my mind?
It’s not about rejecting the mind, it’s about letting go of the negativity. Trying to reject the mind, or trying to reach for some spiritual abyss outside the mind, is just another form of negativity. The mind is an aspect of you, and its designed for experiencing and expressing in this physicality, it’s important to align with your mind while letting go of negativity – that’s the balance that you need to bring about, and it happens naturally when you are not fighting the mind but just stay allowing of it from a space of relaxed awareness, you can read this post – space of being for more insights on this.
Sen,
I have recently begun reading many of your pieces and they are wonderful. Thank you so much. They have helped me in many regards with my obsessive negative thoughts, but I find myself still struggling. It seems to me that I am almost playing a ‘game’ with myself by having these negative thoughts occur and take over my mindset and mood. The type of thought itself doesn’t seem to matter, it is purely how much attention I pay to it. I have been struggling for years now with negative thinking, and even though deep down the thing I want most in the world is to go back to living my life as a positive human being and not letting negative thinking affect me to extent it does today, I still seem to play games in my mind and think negative thoughts ‘for fun’ it seems, causing myself to sink into what feels like a mini-depression. Do you have any insight as to why I do this and what I can do to stop continually playing these negative thinking games in my mind?
Kevin, there is no problem with playing around with thoughts for fun – like watching a horror movie for the fun of the fear it can produce, while knowing that its just a movie. However, you mention that you get into a depression, so obviously you seem to identify with the thoughts than just playing around with them for fun, so in that sense your mind has a strong influence on your being. The deal is to develop some space between your awareness and your mind, so that you are not totally lost in its pull. You can read the below posts for more insights
http://www.calmdownmind.com/freedom-from-the-grip-of-negativity/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
Hi Sen,
Is it ok tp purposely generate the obsessive thoughts and be aware of it. for an example lets say that I’m having obsessive/intrusive thoughts of harming someone. is it ok to purposely generate this over and over again and be aware of it?
Lekha, allowing the thought to happen in your awareness, instead of trying to suppress it, causes you to see through the thought and be free of its hold on you – so, yeah it’s fine to purposely generate this thought for the purpose of clearly seeing through it and being free of your fear of it.
Thank you very much Sen for answering but i have one final question and this has been troubling me for quite a long time. If i purposely generate bad thoughts will it create bad karma? Taking the above example, if i have obsessive/intrusive thoughts about harming someone, if i purposely generate the thought over and over again in order to be free from the fear, will it create bad karma? it might sound stupid but please do answer.
thanks!
Lekha, since you are consciously generating the thought for the purpose of becoming aware of its patterns, and releasing its hold on you, you are not giving it any belief/identification and hence it doesn’t get the fuel of your attention. Hence the thought loses its potency to affect reality in anyway, so it obviously doesn’t create any action/causes/karma in you. The only thoughts that have the power to create a cause/action in you are thoughts that you give belief/identification to.
Aloha Sen,
what about physical symptoms? It took me a while to realize, that there is no “my” body, it is all connected, so I don’t need to force or fight the physical discomforts, they are in a way “symptoms”, or, physical manifestations of inner struggle. it’s all one. but, I am stuck in the cycle of stomach contractions and cramps, and I see they represent inner not allowing some things to come (bad), or some things to go (bliss “states” for example)… The doubt which is very appealing to the mind is: I don’t know sometimes what’s actually wrong: the body, or the inner struggle which makes contractions in the body, and then over all of that mind’s habitual worry and fears… and then… boom… it comes. A laugh. it’s all an illusion. I came back where I started. there is a worry about imagined “me”, about imagined things in the “future”, buch of thoughts with no relation to any “truth”… and it’s a relief. There is only what is… and then… boom… again. I again get caught in the mind jibberish crap. But, I feel ups and downs are reduced now. I am not that happy and high when “liberated” (there is peace and joy), and not 100% involved in suffering when it happens. But the cycle keeps going. The most difficult thing at the moment for me is some “in-between” phase, of not knowing what to do. Ego just can’t leg go, and awareness is aware that old patterns don’t work, so some days I just don’t know what to do or where to go. Do you feel this is normal process (your writings about “detox phase” gave me hope)? Do you maybe thing this is all very natural? We are all growing up? Only, if one struggles – there is suffering, if one relaxes – it’s going natural and easy?
Chow, during the release, there are bound to be fluctuations – you feel a low when a release cycle is on, and you feel a high when a cycle gets done with, and there can be some physical symptoms during the release as the body gains more vitality and thus is able to release stored-up toxicity. As you reach towards the end of the release, you sense a stability in your mind and your body, and there are no more fluctuations of any intensity.
I have many violent thoughts everyday, which I simply cannot afford being a med student and having a lot to study. If i sit back everytime a thought comes into my mind, how will I be able to study? Also how can I replace the thoughts I am having with ones related to my studies?
I have a problem of dwelling on negative thoughts. When I was younger I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve all the bliss in my life and that I had to give myself a type of reality check by thinking negative. It used to be less severe but as I got older I started thinking about any thing weird or scary and dwell on it. It’s a bad habbit that I realize I can’t do anymore. I’m only 17 and this dwelling started when I was about three years old. I’ve done really well in school and I’m a very social person but I am trying to get out of this mental torchering phase. I think I have a problem of just releasing the negative thoughts. I feel like I have to dwell on the thoughts in order to control them. When I get a scary thought that makes no “logical” sense, I freak out and start dwelling on it w/ the fear that if I don’t dwell on it, it’ll manifest. I know that it doesn’t make sense which is why this year I decided I had to change my ways. I got really depressed because my mind was so used to the dwelling and now I’m doing a lot better. The main thing I struggle with is just letting the thoughts flow in and out of my mind. I’m going to college next fall and I think I had a big reality check this year. I knew that the dwelling I’ve done for so long isn’t healthy. I’m going to try your method of just being aware but idk if I completely understand it. I already have a problem of allowing the negative thoughts to enter into my mind so how will letting them in freely help my cause? Are you saying to let thoughts enter and just stay relaxed? Right now when weird/negative thoughts enter my body freaks out and dwells. I guess relaxin is the right thing to do but I’m so confused. I try meditating and I’ve been reading “The Secret” as well. I jus need some help with getting rid of the obsessive negative thinking. Please advise.
Hello Sen.
I’m 21 and i’ve been having what i think is obsessive thoughts, because they just continuously appear in my mind despite i don’t want them to be there, and they only go away for a few minutes, then my mind remember that i was thinking that. This thoughts are like sexual toward people of my family, not desires, just thoughts – i had this before and my mind like says to me ” i know you don’t like to think this, but i’m gonna make sure you think about it for a while”. Images appear in my mind of them naked or actual sexual explicit. Its frustrating and causes a lot of anxiety.
I also think i’m depressed – i study at home and i don’t go out that much; i would love to go out for a long walk and clear my mind, but i have physical disabilities and in the last year my social life severely declined. I worry to much about stuff, for example, some years ago, one day i hurt myself in my testicles and i immediately thought ” what if it caused serious damage” and now i commonly have moderated psychological erectil disfunction.
Do you think i should see a psychologist?
Thanks for now,
From personal experience with OCD type thoughts:
I’ve had this exact same thing happen to me, both parts of your post.
If you stay at a place of “total allowing” there will be a change in the intensity of the thoughts and the thoughts will no longer be as powerful, and they would flow freely. You will no longer be fear them or the pain they cause, they will eventually be able to flow freely without any resistance to them and any analysis of the thoughts. The mind could just be “curious” which is natural for a mind to do, but without being allowing and open to the thoughts, you cannot be conscious of this curiosity, you will only be trying to avoid or keep the thoughts from hurting you.
If you feel it is necessary to see a psychologist (not out of fear based thoughts, but out of inspiration/wisdom) then follow your inspiration/wisdom. Moderate erectile dysfunction is also common in young men your age, but the important thing is, is that the more fear you put into it the more it will occur and the more you will be trying to avoid it and looking out for it. This takes the focus out of the enjoyment and feelings of sexual acts and the fear of “please don’t go soft, uh oh i’m going soft, something is wrong, i gotta try to stop this…etc” will actually cause the erectile dysfunction during sexual acts itself. By becoming aware of these thoughts when they come up, they will lose intensity and you won’t have to “try” to stop or fix them. They won’t take over your awareness and you will be able to enjoy your sexual experiences more.
Also, Great post here, provides a good insight on sexual energy.
http://www.calmdownmind.com/channel-your-sexual-energy/
One last thing, just because the mind is curious does not mean you will do what it is curious about because by being completely open you can accept these thoughts, but you will also move from a place of wisdom/inspiration, which will always allow and point you to take the right action.
Filipe, the right perspective would be for you to just see this as a wake up call for you to start developing an inner stability where you are not a prisoner to your mind’s thoughts. Different people have different wake up calls. What’s required is for you stop fighting the mind and move towards becoming fearless of the mind, thus moving towards a space of stability which is not influenced by the mind’s thoughts – this is what it means to be free within. If you keep trying to change your mind, you will be fighting a losing battle because what you fight against will always persist. What’s needed is to allow the mind to be, while you start feeling a connection with your space of being, as mentioned in the posts below
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/why-do-we-fear-the-mind/
Most of posts on this blog have to do with coming to an inner stability, from these posts you can get insights on letting go of the grip of your mind .
Sen ji ………
I am a regular 8 hrs working guy. How long would you suggest me to practice relaxed awareness in a day . Shoul there be a aprticular location for this practice or can it be done anywhere. Please reply
thanks
Amit, start off with 20 minutes and possibly move towards 30 minutes in a month’s time. With time (in two or three months) it won’t feel like a practice but just a state of inner connection, and soon this connection would feel so strong that you wouldn’t even need to sit for specific times. With this inner stability you will be in a position to let go of the negativity/fear-based movement of the mind, like the ocd issue that you mentioned.
sen,
whenever i start to think a positive thought , my body creates resistance, i feel anxiety , i have become quite good in watching my negative obsessive thoughts , should i remain just a witness and not think positive or should i try and break the barrier , thanks
Wow. I just went over the two articles -this one and ‘How to stop obsessive thoughts’- and all i can honestly say is “I get it!”. These two articles really illuminated my understanding of the mind and how to deal with certain obsessive thoughts and negative energy. During the read, one question popped up tho: “why do we crave negative thoughts?” I am very much familiar with feeding bad thoughts and justifying the negative thoughts -we keep feeding- and the emotional response I got is gratification e.g. I experienced an ‘You just wait, I’ll show you!” attitude. I don’t understand it completely but that is just what I have observed. It honestly felt empowering yet the negative thoughts and energy kept accumulating. Knowing that you cannot kill the mind, we can however choose which thought we fuel, which thoughts we associate with. Which I found to be very simple yet effective. It all comes back, in basic meditation terms it has been described as Mindfulness: to observe what ‘it’ is as it is without judgement or drawing conclusion. I’m new to all of this, so please do regard these words as observational rant
Ginmardo, you can find insights in this post – The brain, the heart and law of attraction – with respect to your query on “why do we crave negative thoughts”
Hello Sen.
I think I have been going through this process for a month or so. I have finally seen through all the thoughts are impermanent, irrelevant and pointless. When I am in the moment it’s wonderful, it’s like there is so longer a hum in the background. But I am experiencing waves of energy-panic, anxiety etc, several times a day. Just wondering if that’s to be expected, because from what I gather it seems like you mention that it’s more like periods of a week here a week there. Am i doing something wrong? Perhaps by focusing on it so much, it’s happening more? My mind is still churning out all kinds of intrusive thoughts during this time.
Thanks.
Michelle, it’s not about taking a “stand” like all thoughts are impermanent, irrelevant and pointless, because such a stand seems to be coming from a place of fear where you are wanting to get rid of thoughts by calling them pointless. The pointer is to gain freedom from the influence of mind, it does not mean you have to get rid of the mind’s thoughts, but have the ability to allow it while bringing a wisdom towards it through your connection with your space of being. Also it’s not about clinging to the moments of “wonder” or bliss, or a high state, but about developing the openness to allow the low states – the integration of the dark and the light in you can only happen when you are fully allowing of the low states instead of trying to cling to the high states alone. The waves of low states, based in fear (like anxiety) can happen at any period depending on the momentum you have going, and its intensity will also depend on the momentum you accumulated from the past. What’s needed is to not get concerned about it, and stay in a space of allowing, letting it ride through. Don’t worry about focusing on it, you are bound to be aware of the low states as they happen, it’s fine – just don’t get panicky about their presence. If you try to force yourself to not focus on the low state, you will basically be trying to ignore it, which is just a fear based tactic – just be allowing of it and be aware of it, without buying into it.
Dear Sen,
First, please let me say how grateful I am for sharing your simple, yet valuable and effective insights with us.
Second, as you guessed, I have a question regarding bringing-relaxed-awareness-to-thoughts process: indeed a simple execution: observing thoughts as they rise in mind, stay open to them, let them be, and just observe them.
I have been trying this for a while…. I notice that the moment I became aware of (or observe) the mind thinking activity (be it either at the very beginning of a thought birth or somewhere at the middle), the thinking activity stops! Maybe this is the point of this awareness exercise, but I feel this does not let the thought to loose its power/strengths/negativity since I have not fully observed the whole movie! and it rises again a moment/day/week later … am I making things too complicated?
Your insight is greatly appreciated. With gratitude.
Mo, basically you are making this into a very rigid mental activity, and that was never the point of it. The very reason why I call it “relaxed awareness” is to drive home the point that you don’t have to strain or be too “strict” about it – just relax and allow the mind to have its activity, it’s not about watching the birth of a thought or to see the middle of thought or any gimmick like that, it’s just about being in a state of “resistance free” allowing of the mind and emotions. Don’t “analyse”, just let it be – don’t “try” to observe, and you will see that a natural observation is already happening. You may not realize but you cannot ever shut down your “awareness” during your waking hours, even when you say you were lost in the mind, you will notice something in you was aware that you were lost and it was aware of what you were lost in – so awareness is always “on”, you don’t have to try and be aware of thought, just relax and you will sense a open awareness already present observing without effort, and without analyzing.
Dear Sen,
Thanks for the pointer. After reading your reply, consulting your post on “High mind momentum is the key”, and letting go of my mind (though no more than a few seconds each day), I observed that my mind has a VERY high momentum. It may be worse these days because my wife and kids are away on a trip abroad and my mind (almost) continuously generates negative thoughts (of either something bad may happen to them or feeling lonely), and I often feel helpless in letting go of it! When I sit and let my mind go my mind activity, after a couple of minute I find myself literary lost in my mind and feel the negative energy (the product) in my body. When it gets to this point I find it hard to continue and there is a high tendency in me (or maybe my mind) to distract myself with something else and not continue any longer. To be honest, this process happens every day and I feel very exhausted with a low energy to run everyday errands. Your posts have been very helpful and you have said it all … though I am not getting it! I do not have any specific question, but I would be grateful for your insight regarding my situation which may be common to many. With gratitude.
Mo, you’ve gained understanding of the mechanics of what “allowing” is about. So now just take your time easing into this process, at your own pace. It’s totally fine to seek relief in distractions if you feel you can’t handle the mind/emotional pressure when you start allowing. Take your time, and be easy on yourself, there is no need to be make this into any strict discipline. Basically, even the smallest amount of inner connection created by sitting in a state of allowing is enough to start building a bridge between your being and your physicality, and this opening is all it takes for you to start being drawn to your inner being automatically. You will feel a gradual sense of wanting to connect more with your inner space, without requiring any force or discipline.
Hi sen my thoughts are very obsessive i get thoughts that stick to my brain frequently! It over analyzez everything and stresses about every little thing then i have to sit down and figure the thoughts and it will go on and on. I just got stuck on the part you said look below your fear doesnt that mean i have to get in my mind and solve the fear ? Im just tired of thinking and stressing ! Or do you mean by that just lettin my fear out and not engaging with my mind? Because literaly my mind will stress about every little thing example how am i Going to be aware? Or my mind tells me you are not allowing these thoughts you are avoiding them which i totally was not which gets me mad and it starts a whole thinking process ! So what can i dont know what you mean about gettin below your fear my mind is not stressing about that thought did you say to just allow instead of engaging?
Dear Sen, thank you for this lovely post – I was so excited to read it. For the past year and a half I have been having obssessive thought, a year and a half ago I never had any anxious or obssessive thoughts – everything would work out, and god would help me. But for the last year I have been constantly trying to battle my obssesive thinking. I was born with congenital hip dysplasia, a luxation of the hip and when I was 16(about 6 years ago I had a surgery to correct a leg length discrepancy). I am fine now, walking good – the only problem is that in about 10,15,20 years(no one knows exactly) I’ll be needed a complicated hip replacement surgery. I always knew that around the age of 40 I’ll be needing another surgery but for the last 2 years all my mind is doing is coming up with different going wrong situations like…. What if after the surgery my legs will be uneven again, what if I won’t have money to pay for the surgery, what if I won’t have money to take care of myself during this time or pay for recovery, what if I’ll lose my job then and What if no one will be by my side. Also I worry all the time what if my mom dies, if I’m left all alone. And all these negative thoughts are killing me slowly, all I want to do all day is think them through so they would go away, to rationalize them and feed the positivity but it doesn’t work. I really want to know more about releasing them and go on with enjoying my life as I used to. Thank you
Sen,
What if the obsessive thought is because you have done something bad like cheating? If you feel so much guilt and regret and fear of the person finding out and losing everything. This is a real life real problem but causing much anxiety and depression. How does one not obessess over something like that?
Troubled, we all make mistakes, even terrible mistakes that we can’t imagine forgiving ourselves for. However, forgiveness is key to peace of mind. Otherwise you are always dragging baggage with you and not able to live in the present. You begin by forgiving yourself repeatedly and by extension, forgiving other people in your life. Once you forgive yourself and when you start forgiving those who have grieved you in the past, you start the healing process. When you are able to forgive yourself and others, you come to see how someone might be able to forgive you as well. Then the fear of rejection subsides and you can choose to ‘confess’ without fear. Lack of fear does not mean not you are not sorry for what you have done, rather, you perfectly understand what you have done, why you (or more like, a negative aspect of your Ego) did it and you want to make sure you don’t do it again. When you can learn to love yourself a little, you come to understand how others can love you too.
mr sen,
i have been suffering from all sorts of negative painful thoughts which gives me pain, these result in lot of fear, tension, headache , restlessness, pain. i have been dying each day, each moment due to this problem for the past 20 years , i am 30 years today. i ve lost all my dreams,career, personal relationship, happiness, internal peace. my life has been hell due to this and i ve lost all my interest in life , just waiting for the day to close my eyes rather than being a burden on someone. i ve all sort of negative thoughts like
what if i send the report wrong?
what if my boss gets angry?
what if i am not able to study
what if i cannot understand what my boss says
what if something stucks in my nose and i have the feeling and sensation of suffocation
what if the water goes into my nostrils and i heve the feeling and sensation of drowning
what if i cannot swallow and i have the feeling of getting choked
what if my parents die
if you can help please save me from this mess and pain and all my best wishes are with you for helping all the painful souls
The more understanding you gain about the dynamics of a “mind”, the less likely you are to be a prisoner to its thoughts. I would suggest that you take the time to read more posts on this blog, which can give you a better understanding of negativity, of the mind, or the dynamics of emotional/mental momentum. Some posts you can start with are
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/why-do-we-fear-the-mind/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-brain-the-heart-and-the-law-of-attraction/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/healing-the-imbalance/
You article is excellent. Actually I went through American psychologist who has done phd.
He also gave the same process — “identify the negative thought and let it go”. It should be effort less — do not force any thing on the brain.
But the question I have is , I read another article regarding thought process and emotions in the brain.
both occur at different parts of the brain . In that article they say if we are going though emotions
break the motions flow ,by using neutral thoughts or words like OHM repeating it or any neutral words , so that the brain connects to thinking part of it and reduces the intensity of emotions.
But in your article ” Calm down” , it has been mentioned that even for anxiety as well as for Agitated thoughts ( hate ful ) also can be reduced by “let it go process.” — let the brain go in free flow.
I am confused please advice.. for anxiety & agitated mind do I need to use ” let it go process — let the brain goes it own couse” or to use netural thoughts like OHM or Sreem ..mantras when in anxity or agitated — which are motional related.
Please advice.. your thoughts will be very useful.
Arjun, the state of total allowing is when you don’t use “technique” to control what arises – this what brings you to inner freedom. Any technique eventually is a crutch that you depend on out of fear of facing what arises. For an emotional clearing to take place, you need to allow yourself to feel these emotions as they arise instead of trying to distract your focus through a mantra like ohm or shreem
Hi Sen,
Thank you for your help and advice . Sorry I could not reply immeditly. I came to this site today after 1 week .I will follow your advice even for the Agitated emotional feelings. I will allow my agitated emotions to go through my consious state. I will practise this.
I have to blame myself to get into anxiety and depression state , because at child hood I didn’t have proper guidance. I always allowed my negative thoughts to dominate me from child hood. Now after following these processes let it go freely “effort less process” for more than 2 years my anxiety is reduced. Still it is there but with less intensity and less anxiety.
I have agitated emotions left over in my mind. they keep coming again and again. I am planning to go though the same process ” let it go ” for even these agitated thoughts. These agitated thoughts are strong, which I am not able to do any thing as of now . I am following this process. let me see the results after 6 months or so.
I feel your articles helps a lot of people who are in anxiety or depressed state. These processes really works.Only thing is we need to give some time like 1 year or so to see the results. I need to have patience. Thank you very much once again for your advice.
arjun
Hi Sen,
I have one question thatkeeps on coming to mind.
The question I have is , IS self consiesness is same as negative thoughts.
BEcause I am very self consies when I am talking or when I am just by myself. suddenly
I become self consiess about that I am not not good at or just about my thoughts
or about any thing , I will be self consiess about those thoughts and be in that state of
mind for some time and then go forward.
IS this (over self consiess ness is part of negative thoughts). these over self consiessness
is distrubing me.
Please advice. you advice is always valuble.
arjun
Hi Sen,
I’ve had panic attacks for 15 years and my irrational thoughts cause panic attacks (maybe I’m having a heart attack, maybe I’m about to pas out, maybe i will stop breathing etc ) basically, I convince myself that the physical symptoms I’m experiencing from the anxiety are not coming from just having a panic attack, but “this Time” it might really be a medical problem. I am a healthy young woman and have no medical issues but the anxiety feels so overwhlming that I feel like I really do have a medical problem. How would one recognize what’s a true thought (my heart is racing fast I may die!) and a thought just based on fear and coming just from my anxiety disorder. That’s my problem, always thinking what is this time it’s real and not just my anxiety? Thanks!!!
Kelly, the truth is that it’s never possible to be “certain” about anything in life – no-one can give you that assurance of certainty, and even if they do, your mind won’t buy it because you inherently know that nothing is certain. You don’t come to freedom by asking for certainty, you come to freedom when you no longer fear uncertainty, when you don’t fear realities of life like death. Death is a part of reality, and you can never be certain when you get to experience it, now you have the choice of either being afraid of it or allowing its possibility. When you are afraid of a certain reality, all you do is stand in resistance to your life-stream’s intelligence in the moment, nothing else is served by your fear. When you are open (fearless) towards life’s realities, you are resistance-free and are constantly privy to your life-stream’s intelligence which is rooted in ensuring well-being. You can, of course, get some practical assurances, if you so desire, by getting your medical check-ups done – that’s not a problem. But beyond that, it boils down to how much freedom you have to allow the reality of life, instead of being afraid of the possibilities. You can read this post – Dealing with uncertainty – for more insight
Kelly,
I also suffered from anxiety attacks a while ago, before I came across this site.
One thing that is very helpful is understanding why these thoughts have power over you. The problem isn’t with the thoughts, themselves, but with the power and pull they have on you. So the answer is not with finding “true thoughts” or trying to work your way out of thoughts, but rather allowing the thought to loose its power and thus loose its hold on you.
A quick explanation on how a thought gains power. Thoughts gain their power through focus or attention on them. Have you ever noticed that a thought can only exist as long as it has your attention. And the more attention you give to your thoughts, the longer they can hang around. Also, when attention is focused on these thoughts the mind increases in momentum and when the thought is triggered it can hang around longer due to this momentum.
So to loose the pull of these thoughts, simply remove your attention of them. That does not mean ignore them and pretend like they aren’t there because that it indirectly giving the thought attention. Removing your attention from these thoughts just means consciously allow the thought to flow. Without your attention the thought will start loosing power because it will starve without your attention. This also removes the momentum of the mind all together when you consciously allow the thoughts to flow you are also letting the mind come back down to a level where you won’t be pulled around by your thoughts. Also, you can imagine it like this. Imagine driving a car, and taking your foot off the gas pedal, allowing the car to naturally continue on its own. The car would slow down and loose its momentum. This is basically how the process works, by removing your attention from the mind (through consciously allowing it) and eventually the momentum of the thought will loose its intensity and not have power over you anymore and the thoughts will no longer show up.
It can take some time to start gaining the ability to consciously allow the thoughts because they currently have a lot of pull, but after a few “releases” (as sen calls them) this becomes automatic and there is an enormous decrease in the pull of these thoughts.
Honestly, there are thoughts now that I can’t even remember thinking and even if I can think of them they do not hold any power on me.
Some posts that might be of help and provide more understanding about this process:
http://www.calmdownmind.com/overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-practice-of-relaxed-awareness/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-on-specific-fears-vs-reducing-mind-momentum/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-with-thoughts/
And This last one explains more about creation and how thoughts get their power.
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-science-of-manifestation/
Best of Luck
Dear Tibrahi,
I am also suffering from anxiety and panic since last 10 months and obssesive thoughts of not
able to sleep since last 15 days and i really want help.
Thanks for a very logical and structured explanation, i must say. However, can you pls further explain that how you can acheive thoughts to flow conciously in your mind without giving them attention. Aslo, pls tell what do you mean by “few releases”?.
Secondly, you mentioned that now old thoughts dont bother you (though concious in your mind).My question to you is that, have you regain your old original state of mind like before these disturbing thoughts (now old thoughts as you mentioned) occured and troubled you.
For e.g : In my case 13 days before i was sitting in a place trying to doze off.however, i found that i was unable to sleep,that thought struck me so hard i lost my sleep with the fear, since i had no sleep problems before though i suffered with anxiety.since then the fear has struck me and i am not able to sleep peacefully or rather i cant fall sleep. whenver i try to sleep, i get the fear of that i may not able to sleep though i sleep later on for very few hours but not peacefully.
Woud i be able to have the same state of mind as before this thought struck?
Can you help on this.
Pls reply.
Hi sen
I have had anxitey about death since i was a little girl well lately it seams that its time for me to “grow up” im trying what you say but i keep getting these thoughs like something horrible is going to happened to me. i know its my mind doing negivate thoughs, and it scares me. i also know that lots of people go through this. I know its anxiety because i have been reading up on it. but how long does it take for the detox to be finished? i dont want to think like this
Tina, the part of you that’s trying to fight these thoughts is actually the one creating the “problem”, the thoughts by themselves are just part of “conjectures” about reality that a mind can make. Death is a part of life’s reality, there is no denying this truth, and a possibility of a painful death is also a probable occurrence, everything has a “probability” and you can’t be certain that something “won’t” happen at all. So in that sense, it’s of no use trying to contradict or deny the conjectures of the mind, and it’s also of no use giving it “importance”, both these attitudes are no going to serve you in living your present life (which is all you can be sure of). What’s required is that you see the conjectures of the mind and develop the openness to allow your mind its thoughts, and the openness to accept the possibilities without obsessing about it by giving it undue importance, and be okay with it – freedom never arises from a place of denying or from a place of over-identification – it’s a middle ground of allowing without over-identification. How long it takes for you to find inner freedom is upto you on how willing you are to develop this attitude of openness.
Hi Sen.
I’m From Philippines. I really need some help here. Its been a month now since I cant sleep.
I’m obsses about the “boundary thing” I called. It is the boundary between Being awake and sleeping.
When I am going to sleep, All in my mind is this Boundary that I must cross inorder that have a peaceful sleep. The result of that I cannot Drift to sleep at all.
Sorry for my English.
Please Help,
Thank you very much.
Roge, this thought about “boundary” is a valid thought for the mind as it does see a boundary between the awake state and sleep state. There is no point in trying to suppress this thought, what’s the required is that you stop giving it so much importance. Trying to find solution to this thought by itself makes you give it a lot of “importance” and keeps you in the grip of this thought. A lot of people can have a thought like this and would just let it pass as a random thought of no real significance, whereas you choose to give it importance. The reason you give importance to this thought is because it makes you feel afraid that you won’t get to sleep, and would end up staying awake and restless. You will have to let go of this fear of “not being able to sleep”, and allow yourself the freedom to be awake until sleep happens – if you “try” to sleep out of fear, then this thought will make you feel helpless, if you give yourself the freedom to be awake as long as sleep doesn’t happen naturally then this thought will lose its fear factor.
Hi Mr. Sen
Thank you for your reply.
I’ll just be aware of my fear of not being able to sleep and not to be concerned with it and to exposed my self to it in order to lose its fear factor? and soon the I’ll forgot this “boundary” thought?
Is it possible to forget that thought?
Thank you for your time Mr. Sen, Please give me wisdom to to make that thought not so much importance.
Roge, don’t worry about forgetting that thought, go with the assumption that you may never forget this thought. The problem is not with the thought, the problem is with the fact that you given so much importance to this thought out of your fear of not being able to sleep. Stop worrying about sleeping, be fine with the fact that you may stay awake the whole night – the moment you get afraid of a certain outcome, you immediately give power to the mind’s fear.
Dear Sen,
Thanks for your different approach.your articles give different perspective as compared to others available.
I am suffering from anxiety and panic since last 10 months and obssesive thoughts and not
been able to sleep since last 23 days, though i used to get sound sleep before.
For e.g : In my case 23 days before i was sitting in a place trying to doze off.however, i found that i was unable to sleep.ThE thought struck me so hard that i lost my sleep with the fear, since i had no sleep problems before although i suffered from anxiety. Since then the fear has struck me and i am not able to sleep peacefully or rather i cant FALL sleep. whenver i try to sleep, i get worried of that i may not able to sleep though i sleep later on for very few hours but not peacefully or naturally as before. The surprising part is i donot get the usual sleep deprived feeling like stressed eyes or irritation etc. I am very concerned about this aspect. My wife and myself are undergoing lot of fear of something happening to physically due to lack of sleep.
Is there any way i would be able to have the same state of mind as before this thought struck? Would i able to sleep peacefully as before without this thought disturbing me.Can i have my original sleep patterns.
Pls help.
Thanks for the replies! This is very helpful!!!
dear sen
is crying alone can be considered a line of release ?
rabna, crying can be a form of emotional release which can happen as the suppressed emotions come up from the past – fully allow this form of release when it happens, without judging it, without feeling a sense of being weak for it.
I have a fear of blushing. I blush easily in social situations. I have a hard time accepting my blushing especially in situations with people around me. I try to stay in relaxed awareness when I blush but its a little bit difficult.
When other negative feelings arise when I’m alone I’m aware of them and they just dissolve. But it’s harder when I’m around people. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi Sen,
Totally understanding your point when I relate it to my condition.As you said in some posts that life energy – that is six dimensions of mind is truly natural and in balanced condition.In my case I might have unconciously supressed “fear” for long time and suffered from symptoms of imbalanced supressed fear in the form of obsessive thoughts.Now when I got insight from your posts I acknowledged the technique of relaxed awareness.And I am trying to flush out my supressed fear in the form of thought by concious acknowledging the thoughts in a neutral manner i.e I am okay with the obsessive thoughts and assuming if you want to be present in my concious its okay.i am totally allowing it to flow through my concious by putting zero resistance to it.
In this process i am getting fatigue and light feverish type.I hope this is the process of undergoing detox state or releasing negative energy that is accumulated in the body.Hope I will be able to feel the clear concious after this process.
Kindly reply If I am anywhere wrong in the process of releasing negative energy.
Thanks.
Ashish, the release of suppressed emotional energy is like a real detox for the body, and it’s energy centers get re-vitalized and revamped during this release – it’s normal for the body to feel fatigue (and possibly some aches or even a feverish sensation) during a release cycle because it involves a lot of “inner work”. Be sure to not over-task yourself by trying to be forceful in the process of allowing, be easy on yourself and follow your inspirations to chill out and take break (even through some distractions) now and then, don’t get too serious about it.
First off all, I must say thank you for this article. My OCD began flaring up quite badly in September, and though things certainly calmed down a bit on their own, without reading this I would probably still be going in circles. Sure, I’m far from my goal as I’ve only been doing this a few weeks now, but I’ve already felt that bliss. Sometime last week, it was like I was a whole new me, if only for a short time. It’s certainly a task, letting everything go, especially when I’ve adjusted to finding ways to supress the feelings, which I now realize is only perpetuating the problem. I don’t know how long this will take, and I’m sure it varies from person to person, but I’m now in this for the long haul. It certianly seems like Groundhog Day, where each day I begin to relax into myself (some days better than others) and by the end of most nights, I feel quite secure. Then of course, the next day I sort of start over again, I guess with a new batch of negative energy. But I’ll never let that get to me anymore. OCD has tampered with my enjoyment of music, daily activities, social interactions, etc, and it feels amazing to know I might finally be releasing this madness from my mind. Thank you again for this wonderful article!
hi sen, i m really really thankful for your articles … they are great …thank you
i please want you to give me little guidance here.. and thank again for giving your time.
I m a 12 passed student and i have taken one year break after my schools for preparation of engineering exams.
I really want to a student at IITs.
and for preparation i was going well. – studying 13- 14 hours per day sincerely and i was really enjoying my days.
but once i was not able to sleep because of “maths and physics” and got a thought that ” what if i didnt sleep ? – i will not be able to follow tomorrows’ study time-table!! ” and i got a little fear- and this fear in few days resulting in ” obsessive thought ” .
and now i feel very sad and dull because when i try to solve a question then their comes a thought that i will not be able to solve it and it takes a quite a strong determination to concentrate on the question and its solution.
but u know it is not easy to study with such “struggle”.
MY EXAMS ARE IN APRIL i really want to do something in my life in science field..
it has been a month since my struggling.. i am feeling quite “stable”… but i just wanted to know that if this fear will “dissolve” or not… u know i m in a very “negative” situation.
please say that it is possible… because i need confidence these thoughts are “acceptable” and that to with happiness and joy …
and i would really be thankful to you if you can give some guidance or “flash of light” on how to use our minds efficiently and skillfully in studying without “struggle”……
thank you .. your reply is important for me .. thanks once again.
Tapesh, some thoughts have a practical value – like a thought that disturbing your sleep cycle may not be prudent as it can disturb your study routine, now this a practical thought which you can just use as a guidance towards ensuring that you maintain an organized schedule for your exam preparation or you can also discard this thought and experiment with different sleeping times, as a conscious choice – both are valid options. The problem is when you bring an imbalanced fear into the equation and start wasting your energy on this fear. The simple pointer is to no longer keep identifying with this thought of fear, if you keep fearing it it stays in your consciousness, if you simply stop giving it credence it simply dissolves on its own. The reason this thought is affecting you is because you are too nervous about your exams because of some rigid thinking you have about it, making it something that determines your life’s success – remember that an exam (or getting into a particular institution) may be of relative importance but it’s not the end of line, we put too much pressure on ourselves for no reason, there are many avenues through which you can express your love for science and many institutions where you can get quality education than a specific institution you have in mind. You may be putting undue pressure on yourself because of a narrow manner of thinking and this situation is like a pointer for your to be more relaxed in life and more open in your thinking.
The way I see it, learning and understanding a subject is a matter of “practice”, the more time you spend with a subject the more mastery you gain with it – it’s a simple logical truth. Even if you don’t understand certain intricacies about a subject, if you simply keep spending time being with the subject you will start gaining a deeper understanding. In the brain, understanding happens in layers, so don’t be frustrated if you are not able to understand some portions of what you are studying, if you just continue to stay focused on the subject you will keep gaining deeper understanding with time. Struggle comes when you try to do the unnatural of doing too much too soon, instead of working at a steady pace, knowing the everything takes time including gaining deeper understanding. If you are interested in making science your field, develop the attitude to just spend a lot of time with the subject so that it’s a central part of your thinking – don’t study for the purpose of competition, in that case you will focus more on cramming than understanding, rather study with the purpose of gaining understanding. Every field of study has layers of depth, and your understanding can keep deepening if you stay with the subject with an active interest.
Hi Sen. I certainly appreciate your posts and they really offer me a direction that i can use to alleviate my obsessive thoughts. Thank you!
Let me just briefly mention about my background. I am having insomnia for the past 2 weeks. I realise that the reason for me to be unable to fall asleep is that I keep thinking about stuffs ranging from studies to friends to practically anything when i lie on my bed. Most of these stuffs are negative in nature. I am currently a student studying in an university.
I came across an older version of a similar article (http://www.outofstress.com/stop-obsessive-thoughts/) and my following question is regarding this older version. To deal with negative thoughts, what I am currently doing now is to just say “Ok” to them so that I won’t dwell into them. By doing so, these thoughts seem not to continue to be active in my mind that frequently anymore. However, may I know what are the other ways apart from this that we can choose not to give attention/interest to negative thoughts?
With regards to the post on this website, could you elaborate more on relaxing your awareness?
Thank you.
thanks sen .. thanks a lot.
Hi Sen.. I am so blessed to be here and thank you for creating this website..
please help me with my problem. i’m 25 years old male from the Philippines.
i have a problem on focusing my eyes. my peripheral vision is so active and because of this when somebody sit beside me my eyes started to stare on their private parts. i been suffering from this for 3months already and every day is a tough day because it’s getting worse. i noticed that even when i was walking on the street my eyes keep staring on men and women’s genitals. most of the time on men genitals because of this some of my relative caught me staring and i became a topic to each one of them talking behind my back that i am gay. but i am not a gay. i just can’t explain to them that i am not in control of eyes..
Hope you can help me for this… Thank you and God Bless!
Pat,
The important thing about this peripheral vision is just let it do what it does. You have already become aware of this pattern in you, which is the first step. The second step is just to allow it to be. For example, when you notice/become aware that you have automatically looked at someone else’s genitals (which is completely normal), just let it be and continue going with your day, don’t worry so much about trying to get rid of it because the harder you try to get rid of it or figure it out, the more attention you are giving to the problem and thus increasing it. So when something like this comes up again, just let it be. If you looked there’s no need to put any more into it and consider it a problem and its quite normal for us as humans to look and see something in the corner of our eye. Even the genital areas can be a big point of interest for our human body and mind to automatically look at.
You are definitely right that the people talking behind your back don’t understand your perspective, and to someone who doesn’t understand your perspective something coming across such as looking at another man’s genitals means gay, when it really isn’t gay.
Again, its important not to give too much attention to making this into a problem, and when you do automatically look just be aware that it happened and allow the fact that it happened. Eventually its momentum will drop naturally and it won’t feel like such a problem anymore. Also, you may see it happening less frequently as its momentum naturally dissolves.
Well I do have this problem where i see something in my day and i obsess over it, its irrational and has no significant meaning. its a thought that ruins my mind, it ruins the future. I try to retract back by reminding myself of happiness. Its frustrating because i cant help myself in the way i want too, its a process , instead of just letting go.
Elias, when you say “its a thought that ruins my mind, ruins the future” there are two layers to it – the thought and your added interpretation/judgment/fear of the thought, this is what it means to get identified with the thought. What’s needed is to let go of getting identified with the thoughts that arise, rather just be open its presence, allowing its movement, allowing the emotional energy (however “negative” it feels) in your body without trying to resist it in any way. When you say “I retract back by reminding myself of happiness” that’s what I mean by trying to “suppress” what arises by contradicting it (in order to get some temporary relief) – you will need to let go of this pattern of suppression and move into the space of openness/allowing in a deeper way.
wow, that was the most helpful article ive read on this. Thanks
Dear Sen,
I am 22 years old and I have been having obsessive thoughts for a little over a month that are (labeled) POCD. Before this I had no idea what anxiety was. But when the thought first came to my attention I became so anxious and fearful/hateful of myself. I couldn’t eat, sleep,talk or barely even function at my job. The thoughts would constantly run through my mind causing very bad anxiety and ultimately, depression. Up until last week I was hopeless thinking that this would be with me for the rest of my life. I was even too afraid to research my issue. But when I stumbled upon your article, it gave me so much understanding, and RELIEF. Especially with concept of the “accumulation of negative energy”. Because about six month prior, I almost lost my relationship with a girl I have been with for six years that I wanted and still want to spend the rest of my life with. that alone caused a lot of hurt, and insecurities in myself. Causing me to obsess myself into this position.
Once I read your article, I immediately put your practice into action. I just went into the state of Total Allowing. The next day, even though the thoughts were still at a fast pace, I felt no anxiousness by the thoughts. Which scared me at first until reread this article. two days past. then three days of what I think was release. I am aware of the thoughts that arise and I allow them to pass with as little resistance as possible. I try to be in a state of Total Allowing as much as possible throughout my day. Sometimes I catch myself (when I can) wrapped up in my thoughts of “What if” s. I’m just really looking forward to another release to make sure its moving in the right direction. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your insight.
Alex, the state of allowing works in layers, in that it keeps deepening and releasing the accumulated momentum over time. Don’t get too impatient to release it all in one go, it doesn’t happen that way. And if you find yourself being lost to the momentum, now and then, it’s totally fine, just the fact that you are now aware of it means that you are not “totally lost” to it. As you continue in this state of allowing, your awareness also keeps growing, and, with time, you will see that you are not taken in by the momentum of the mind/emotions completely. The pointer for you would be to allow this natural requirement of “time” without getting too impatient, without getting too hard on yourself for being lost to the momentum now and then – know that your awareness and the openness will keep increasing over time.
Do you think this can work for misophonia. Its when the sufferer hears certain everyday sounds (which vary from person to person), and they trigger an intense and involuntary anxiety and rage – a flight or flight response if you will – even though consciously they may be aware that these sounds cannot hurt them, and are not being made to bother them. I have suffered from this for nine years, and over the last two years it has only gotten worse (thanks to a dimwitted friend of my brother and his countless annoying habits). Now I cannot even go out for a walk, watch a movie, hang out with my friends, go to any kind of public place, or listen to most of my favorite songs without being constantly triggered. I had to take a few semesters off from college because of this. Its a nightmare, and no one seems to know exactly how this works or how to go about fixing it because it is just starting to be recognized. Do you think this energy detox (or anything else you may have written) applies to this?
Also, to clarify, I am aware of how this problem came about (though I was not aware of it when it developed). I took my great life for granted, I allowed ungrounded hatred to develop, I obsessed over negative thoughts relating to these hatreds, reacted to the feelings that came up, or pushed them down, I kept giving my power away, kept repeating a very sad story to myself that had no happy ending, and as a result, the things I enjoy doing have been turned into stress traps. I am alone most of the time (I would rather not be), shut up in the house with white noise playing sometimes. I understand this is not healthy, and I try to get out once in a while, but every time I do it ends up not being worth it, as the trigger sounds keep popping up. Even just being in a situation where a trigger sound COULD happen puts me in a constant state of paranoia. The reaction is literally faster than the speed of thought. I also understand that my brother’s friend is not responsible for my misphonia developing into a worse problem than it already was; I was the one who let him get to me. At the time I did not understand how this works. Even with a basic understanding now, sometimes new sounds still manage to manifest into triggers. I don’t know if this sounds crazy or not, but anyway, theres the short version.
One thing I’ve recently been doing when trying to stay conscious and I feel a surge of negativity, is I recite long monologues from shakespeare , concentrate on that, and let the negativity flow through me. It helps me to stay conscious, or at least thats how it feels in the moment. Do you think this sort of thing would draw too much attention from the negativity or something like that?
hi sen,I have the same “What if” problem as Alex, for example I took an English class up, and I was really confident in speaking and I’ve always been volunteer for speaking English in the class, till a “What if” question ruined everything .(what happens if I can’t speak like before?)and then I couldn’t speak like before and it scared me, so step by step I lost my confidence and now every section I go to class I’m anxious, and other examples, and for me the problem is not just about thinking, the effects of thinking on my life and on my confidence and my identity makes it harder to relief of thinking.
Nastaran, there is something called “unconscious confidence” where you feel confident because you don’t have a higher awareness, rather your ignorance defines your fearlessness – similar to how a drunk feels more confident in parties because his awareness has reduced. However, unconscious confidence is driven by low awareness, sooner or later your awareness is bound to wake up more, it’s part of evolution – it’s just like how a child grows up, you can’t stay a child forever. When you grow up, there is this initial transition phase which always feels uncomfortable – it’s a shift of awareness. For example, the teenage phase can be seen as a transition phase from a child into an adult, and it can feel challenging because of the changes that happen in the mindset and awareness (of course some stay stuck as a child even in their adulthood, this is because there is no growth in their level of awareness).
So, currently you are in a transition phase, where you awareness has grown but you are yet to adapt to this new awareness because there is still the presence of a lot of past momentum. Higher awareness causes you to become a more perceptive person, you start seeing things in greater detail, you can see the possibilities/probabilities of all the things that can go wrong, you can see the dark nature of reality, you can no longer delude yourself about reality etc, and this higher awareness initially can trigger a lot of fear, mostly because there is no getting away from seeing reality in its details, which will include see all the dark nature aspects along with the light nature aspects. I talk about this in post – the light and dark of conscious living.
In order to live from a place of higher awareness, one has to release the emotional/mental momentum of the past. For example, the fear energy that you feel in your body is what feels crippling right now, and fear gets triggered more because your higher awareness of certain dark nature possibilities in your reality. It’s not about shutting down your awareness, but about releasing the momentum of fear energy so that you are no longer crippled by it, so that you can move inspite of the fear because there is no intensity/momentum to it, in you. You have to go through a release phase where you can release the past momentum, only when you are no longer burdened by this momentum can you function freely from a state of higher awareness – look at the phase of release as a transition phase, it doesnt necessarily feel good to go through a release, but eventually when you get to the other side of it you can start a new level of living, which is the level of conscious living.
Here’s a thing I notice when the negativity starts coming up. When I move my eyes around in circles, the emotions and thoughts seem to become more intense. Would you know if there is a reason for this? Just curious.
Also, there are times when, in the middle of a release, I end up pulling out because it gets too intense and I need to take a quick break before trying again, and I end up not reaching the blissful state. Does all the negativity I felt before pulling out of the release get released, or does the body just push it back down again?
Who are you???!!! I literally could not breathe reading this! I was so overwhelmed..as if you exactly knew what had happened to me…!
The same things happened to me as you described in first few paras…
The feelings of getting wasted, doing nothing in life losing interest in everything, having no sense of purpose had started appearing today evening and no logical thinking and self convincing seemed to work…I finally decided to let go and go dive deeper into the thoughts… bringing up more thoughts on purpose and then SUDDENLY,, life was back to normal.. as if nothing had happened.. as if all tension was released from my body.. In fact for the first time I could ‘small talk’ with my friend without thinking too much about myself or what he thought..
I basically never small talk like women do..(talk effortlessly about any topic) but (I am a male btw..20 years old)…but suddenly I felt amazed at how I could small talk effortlessly with my friend.. no tensed feeling… etc..
I did not know this feeling could be so well explained by some other human being..but you did..
One more fact: this negative energy as you said had come from supressed (trying to control my thoughts) of sexual desires( fantasies ) I had yesterday…Finally I got the connection where the energy came from!( I’m a virgin)
Thank you so much..now Ill read the rest….
Conclusion: Just let the thoughts come and go.. dont force yourself into rationalizing scientifically every negative thought…soon you learn so much.. become free of tension!
Mihir,
India
Hi Sen,
I was wondering if you could help..I suffer from obsessive thinking and I was tired and stressed at work and someone said to me ” you look like your going to stab someone” as a joke I think .Ever since I have had a complex about it and cant even look at myself properly in the mirror, the obsessive thoughts wont go away.Please help me rid these thoughts and feelings
Hi Sophie,
There is nothing wrong with obsessive thinking. Rather obsessive thoughts are the mind’s way of bringing to your attention that there is some energy suppression that has reached a pressurized state within your psyche and is demanding realease. The body uses the same mechanism in the form of pain, to bring to your attention that there is a part of your body that may be in need of healing. From this perspective, neither physical pain, nor psychological suffering is something terrible that needs to be gotten rid of. Rather they are necessary mechanisms that allow you to be aware of what needs your attention. This is the first step, to accepting the obsessiveness of your thoughts.
The second is to recognize that your thoughts have very little to do with reality. Your thoughts are merely signposts that point your attention. The more obsessive the thought the more an indication that your compassionate attention, not fearful rejection, is what is necessary.Allow the thoughts to guide you to a deeper place within yourself that you normally would not have a chance to be aware of.
Become aware of those moments in which you are not obsessing about that thought. Even if they are few and far between, be aware of them. Moments of distraction when you are preoccupied in cooking or watching a tv show or in a joke someone is telling you. In that moment, if you are aware enough you will notice how that negative self-image you have of yourself sismply drops away. Gradually, you will see the connection between your thoughts and self-image. You will see how you literally become this negative version of yourself the moment the thought arises. This is just a means of realizing that this image you have of yourself is not real – because it depends on your thinking to create it.
However, even this recognition will not arrest the momentum of the obsessive thought. The ultimate purpose of this, as I mentioned, is healing. Just like physical pain will continue to draw your attention to a wound in your body that needs your tender attention and care, the momentum of thinking is fueled by psychological pain which is similarly drawing your attention to something that needs healing. That healing can only happen through release of that energy. That realease can only happen if you allow it to.
Allowing is not about trying to control your experience. It is not about trying to avoid your obsessive thoughts, nor is it about identifying with them. One is like the brake pedal of the car, the other is like the accelerator. Hitting the brake may momentarily pause the momentum, but as long as there is still fuel the car keeps running. Take your feet off both pedals and allow the fuel to naturally spend itself. These obsessive thoughts will come to a natural conclusion when you stop obsessing about how obsessive they are. Do you see the connection? Do you see how your fear or denial both serve to equally fuel the fire?
Be patient and compassionate with your mind, especially with its obsessions. It is all a part of a larger mechanism whose only purpose is to bring you to a more whole and complete version of yourself.
That is beautiful, Shiv.
Shiv,
Indeed very beautiful way of explaining. Very good.
thanks,
Anu
Hi, I am currently experiencing a deep depression like I have never before. I am suffering from PTSD, and obsessive thinking also. I have pretty much always had obsessivse thinking and its always been very bothersome. I am trying to allow the feelings and thoughts because i always try to repress them. I think thats why i am where i am now. I dont think i know how to let the thoughts and feelings come without fueling thwm. It seems to me like i should let it happen but be aware that my mind is going through a process? Please clarify or give me some suggestions on how to do this correctly. Thanks
Hi Des,
This pointer of “allowing” can be a tricky one because you can misinterpret it as another technique to try and control your experience. It is important to recognize that ‘allowing’ is not the opposite of repressing or identifying. It is really an attitude of surrendering control.
Try this simple exercise – become aware of the rhythm of your breathing. Watch it closely. You will notice that as soon as you become aware of your breath, its rhythm changes. Suddenly, it goes from a nice, natural rhythm to a sort of controlled artificial rhythm. No matter how natural you try to make it, as long as you are trying to control the experience of your breathing, it will seem unnatural and contrived.
The process of allowing is similar to breathing. It happens naturally. It doesn’t need your active involvement in order for it to happen. But if you try and make it into some sort of objective, then it can become a mechanical and artificial process too.
Your Mind can never know how to allow. It is not built for that purpose. Its job is to identify or suppress, those are its functions. Just as it makes no sense to use a computer to vaccuum a carpet, the Mind is not equipped to allow. At best it can do a sort of pseudo-allowing, kind of like you trying to force your breath to be as natural as possible. This is where a lot of people can get stuck, but it is exhausting and ultimately unfruitful.
Realize this. Allowing is not something you can ‘do’, because allowing is already happening. Right now you are experiencing deep depression. Right now you are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. Ask yourself this question – how are you experiencing these? How could these experiences even be possible if it wasn’t already being allowed?
What the pointer of ‘allowing’ is really pointing to is not some new technique for your mind to gain dominion over life, but rather the very intelligence of Life itself, that lies at the heart of every experience. It is pointing to that dimension of your Consciousness that exists even prior to your Mind – prior to the your thoughts, emotions or any other mental events. That Consciousness is the foundation of your whole experience. And it here that the allowing happens.
While depression can feel debilitating, it is also a great opportunity to become aware of this deeper dimension within yourself. Depression and anxiety are tremendous tools for self-discovery, because they temporarily destabilize the mind. And it is in that window of opportunity, when your mind is still scrambling to regain its bearings, that the truth of your being can become even more apparent than ever before.
This is your own inner revolution agains the tyranny of the Mind. The Mind has become an institution – like say a governemnt – built on certain beliefs, principles and motivations. And like most governement institutions it thrives on power and control. Yet this power and control is only apparent it is not real. The power of any governement, no matter how oppressive depends on the people that support it or fear it. The moment the people stop feeding it, the entire structure collapses like a house of cards.
Instead, of trying to build a governement that promises freedom to its citizens (this exactly what is happening when the Mind tries to make ‘allowing’ a practice), recognize that freedom is already inherent within each and every person’s experience. Freedom is already the case. It always has been. Just like you don’t need any goverment to tell you that you are free, you don’t need your Mind’s permission to tell you that you are free.
Go to the source of where the true power lies. Turn to the Consciousness without which the Mind could not even operate. It is a simple state of awareness. It is silent and watchful. You are already very familiar with it. So familiar perhaps, that you do not even realize it. It is your natural state before even a thought arises, before any sense of who you are arises.
Take some time to become present. Just to simply watch your experience as it happens, without trying to get involved, without doing anything, without any agendas. Whether you are sipping a cup of tea, or brushing your teeth, or suffering some obsessive thought, or lying in a deep depressive funk. Whatever the experience is, be quietly aware of it. In doing so, you will find that your perspective has subtly shifted, from being within the Mind, to being the “Witness of your Mind”. This witness position has no opinion, no judgment, no involvement. It is simply aware.
As you become more familiar with this deeper aspect of your Consciousness, you will naturally begin to see that allowing is already happening, whether you like it or not. It has always been the case. Life cannot exist without it, just like your body cannot exist without breathing. The more and more you see this, the more and more you will begin to relax in your attitude towards yourself.
Ultimately, to come to a state of allowing happens when the mind surrenders control and aligns itself with the natural flow of Consciousness. It is the establishment of a true democracy within the mind: a governemnt that places itself at the feet, rather than at the head, of the people. Your Mind is ultimately in the service of Consciousness. Yet, this can only happen when your allegiance shifts from the authority of the mind to the freedom that is inherent within Consciousness.
I obsess over animals being harmed. If I happen to see a photo of an abused animal I will obsess the image for days. I can actually feel the adrenaline pumping through my body as I imagine the image. The more I try to NOT think of it, the more I DO think of it. I realize it is a fact of life and unfortunately abuse happens to animals and humans. Also, why can I look at a photo of an abused child or the elderly and not think another thing of it?
Lis, to feel bad about the abuse is one thing and to feel this strong momentum of physiological reaction in your body is another. Being sensitive is as aspect of you as a human-being, but this strong energy of emotional momentum is owing to the past accumulation of sensitive reactions which got stored up due to a lack of inner openness. Due to this momentum you are now like a prisoner to your own sensitivity where they make you feel helpless and paralyzed, thus making you feel dysfunctional. What’s needed is to move towards releasing this accumulated momentum through the state of allowing. You can read this post – the foundation of openness and the phase of release, to get a sense of what this entails.
I think I am over analyzing what you’re saying or trying too hard. Or maybe i am putting too much stock in this. I am getting really confused. I was laying in bed crying and I was aware of it and tried to watch my experience being that way. When I do that I feel better though. Isnt the aim to just let it be and watch the experience? How can i experience something and witness it at the same time? I never knew about my consciousness before i always just lived in my mind. I feel as though I dont know what my consciousness is or how to be in that state. Sorry to keep pestering.
I remember reading somewhere once that a good massage can aid in the process of allowing, that it lets the imbalances flow more freely through the body (when you start being open). I had also heard the same about stretching exercises. Would you know if there is any truth in this?
Fingaladinga, I’ve found both to be true. Both warm the body and increase the flow of energy. If your work is moving energy for positive growth, that gets a boost. It’s not a substitute for doing the ‘work’ of allowing, but it can put your mind and body in a state that supports it.
Dear Sen…
I am reading your posts for quite a while now and I have found them to be really good. But it has led to loads of confusions in my mind too. I am having this obsessive thought pattern for a while and I want to overcome it. I do want to follow the path shown by you but the circumstances make it difficult for me to go on this path. I am having my exams next month and I am married and five months pregnant too. As you said its basically because of cellular inheritance, does that mean my child will suffer through all this too. ( I personally got this thinking pattern from my mother). What will be the best thing for me to do now? Does release of negativity within my body will affect baby in my womb? And also I am finding it really hard to concentrate on my studies and I desperately want to clear my exams. is meditation of any help in overcoming these feeling? Please help.
Rita, the circumstances in your life are never hindrance to finding balance they are always pushing you towards it, it’s just that we tend to keep fighting what wants to release naturally (or what wants to balance out) and the resisting the maturity that wants to come through. Eventually the deal with obsessing thoughts is that it stems from mind/emotional momentum, it’s simply indicative of the fact that you are afraid of some aspect of thinking and this fear causes you to constantly fight that “thinking” and thus creates a momentum in your mind towards that thinking (this momentum eventually gets stored up as emotional energy in you). The state of allowing is about being totally open to whatever that arises in the mind or in the emotions, in this openness a release starts to happen where all the past accumulated emotional energy comes up to be released, and as the emotional energy gets release the mind momentum also starts releasing in force, eventually dying away totally. Of course, it’s not pleasant to allow this release, mostly because of the deluge of suppressed energy that comes up in this state of allowing, it’s no different from any other detox. You can read the post – the phase of release – for more insight on this.
If you feel that you’ve taken up more than you can handle, then you need to make the conscious choice to let go of certain things for the time being. For example, if you feel that the exams are stressing you out while also being pregnant, you can make the choice of postponing your exams to a later date or taking up the course later. Eventually, you have to make choices towards connecting with a sense of balance in your life, and it can involve letting go of somethings that may be important but not a priority – your sense of relaxation and comfort is more of a priority considering that you are pregnant. Also, the phase of release is a priority in itself for your own sense of balance, and you would need to invest time towards it. It may involve that you have some free time to sit with yourself and to allow the movement of emotional energy so that it can be released – if you are too busy with outside pre-occupation it may not be easy to allow a release, or to deal with a release cycle. Also, the release is a healing process, it’s not an afflicting process.
Gaining an understanding is one thing and the willingness to be committed towards internalizing it (or living it) is another.
Thanks a lot sen for your reply. I guess it was my fear of facing negativity which was creating confusion in my mind. (As I have always believed in positive affirmations and meditation). But now after re reading your number of posts, I understood the whole concept and I have started practicing the allowing procedure . Thanks a lot for clearing my confusions . I will definitely need your further help in this journey to find balance within me. Thank you again.
Hi, this is the first time I’m leaving a comment on a webpage, I’m 16 years old but I’m way more mature of my age, I always thought that I was…well, basically mad and I could correlate with people like Timothy leary or John Nash. I tried many things to keep this madness suppressed and tried eradicating it, I felt like I was the only person dealing with such problems; my brother made me do LSD with him (I had done a lot of research on it previously) and afterwards I felt happy and blissful at every moment of my life. But tonight something strange happened, I confronted my ‘madness’ yet again. I went through the exact symptoms as mentioned here, until I felt a surge of mystical calmness in me, I’ve decided not to go to school tomorrow, and instead explore our garden. So much of peace…
Hi,
I have been suffering from panic attacks for over a ywar.
I felt completely in control and on top of this. Because now I am trying to control everything I see and think, I am creating fears out of everything.
Can you pls help as I think I am going to go insane.
I hope I have explained my problem well.
Thanks,
Mitesh
Hi Mtesh.
The need for control you experience stems from fear, and fear is simply mind construction. Its limited. Its not really big thing once you decide to face it fully. If you allow fear fully, what you will see its the end of fear, so you will transcend it by allowing it. Just ask within what is true motif behind need of control. It is common reaction of people to fear certain thoughts without even allowing them, observing them first. Like~ if i think this and that, i will go crazy or this and that will happen~. Nothing of that is true.
Anything that arise within your space of being (be it thought, or emotion) is there for good reason, it is there to make you grow, it is there to assist you, it is not there to harm you on any way and there is no real reason to fear fear, to trust it blindly or block it. If you do any of that you will only continue to build more momentum that creates a suffer. So try to see through this mindset of fear within, and connect with deeper field of inner space, place of silent peace bellow the noise, while taking some solitude time in just observing your own thoughts. They are yours, so don’t try to escape from them, or suppress them, allow them to arise and get exposed in your own openness, stop to treat them as they are your enemy, realize that you have chance to discover something more powerful within you, real you.
Mind tries to control thoughts by judging them (this is good thought, or bad one, or dangerous, or unpleasant thought) There is no negative, dangerous or bad thought, its only our unconscious identification and perspective that is making problem, that is suppressing what naturally wants to balance. When we allow thoughts, and emotions, openly, without judgment, they align and balance, naturally.
Sen took time to expose this process in details, so take your time to read, use it as real support during this challenging times.
Hi Sen
I came across this article several months ago when I was having obsessive thoughts about being attracted to someone at work, that was making me feel terrible as I am in a long term relationship now with two small children. I was terrified that this attraction would result in me doing something that I knew was wrong as I have a history of being impulsive and gratifing my desires without care for the consequences. Although this happened a long time ago in the past, I don’t know if I trust myself now that I have so much to loose.
I read your article and it helped to tame down the negative fears, but it is hard to stop the thoughts as I see this person everyday. Then after a very short time the doubts started creeping in and I am back to square one! Thankfully though, each time the thoughts start coming back I resolve a little more, like I don’t think anymore that maybe I am ‘meant’ to be with that person, that they may be my ‘soul mate’ (whatever that is!) and that I am denying myself what life wants for me. etc etc.
My big issue with allowing is that I don’t actually really understand what you mean by allowing. How do you watch your thoughts? I’m just not sure how you do it. Do you try to work out what your feeling each time the though comes into your head. Sorry if this seems like a silly question but if you could give me some clarity around this, I would greatly appreciate it.
Hi Sen,
You article is always very useful.
I have one question.which always pops in my mind which I don’t have anwser.
How to lose interest in some inward thoughts. I want to lose interest,
But My brain shows interest. Inward thought comes and autoamtically my mind shows interest in inward thought. I know that the interest in inward thought makes it more powerful.
Is showing interest in the inward thought is my problem. It looks like I like the inward thought,so I show interest in inward thought. ( this is where I am confused. how to not show interest. Do I have any control over my liking. It comes naturally from heart.) ??? . Your advice will help me a lot. It will clear my path of resolving my inward thoughts mindfully ( detaching the toughts and not show interest in inward thought) ..
arjun
hi sen, I’m confused lately
I know I still have a lot of fear and momentum going on in me, and a lot of thoughts are fueled by the momentum.
thoughts such as ‘seeking enlightenment’ or ‘obsessing over social interaction’. i know it stems from lack based thinking (“I don’t have xyz, so I will figure out ways to attain xyz”-attitude)
but recently I realize n questioned why am I habitually so focused in these topic when I can engage my mind in something else in this physicality?
so my question is, even though I have many momentum yet to be released, I have space to allow other things/ideas in my life. so, will doing other things and focusing on other things mean that I’m avoiding and diverting my mind to not face the fear in me? so is this a form of trying to detach and suppress? or am I breaking free from habitual thinking due to low momentum.
thanks
hi j, in my case i can say that momentum was very strong and in full force. and it gave me an understanding that i have no other way than to go by the momentum and realize ( and not release) it fully. In between there were many circumstances( due to social pressure) in my life where in i could have stepped out and created a different physical reality from that point but there was always a deeper understanding that it was not right, because i have to allow these forces to fully integrate within me.. ..but now i can see the forces dissolving in intensity.. what is left over is the nature of human mind, which has over come soo many terrific phases that its scared of even small noise and has become sensitive.. but its fine. we need to give it some time to come to normal..and can work normally.. and i feel blessed to see how the divine grace works and frees us of the burden (negativity) we are carrying.
thanks Sen for all the wisdom you share!
May god bless you..
hi sen,
actually ,i suffer from obsessive thinking since class 8th .it used to come in bouts for 2-3 months ,then suddenly it used to go away .but ,now it has started coming more often n doesn’t allow me to study .i m a medical student myself n if i loose my precious time with these thoughts ,it becomes very difficult for me to cope up with my studies.now ,these thoughts are in the form of self doubt -like i m not seeing right,i m not listening right ,etcc…….n the other thing that scares me a lot is that since i always keep doubting myself ,always thinking about various diseases and psychiatric illness n keep on relating them with myself ,i may not develop them actually .(they are part of my studies and various projects).there’s always a feeling that i m not the right person for mbbs.actually ,i will always find a way to show myself of being not the right kind for any job handed over to me.i have a fear that during viva -voice examination ,i will speak all the opposite of what i have learned n teacher will go mad at me .actually i have a habit of making easiest thing difficult through my thinking n this goes on n on .i have a habit of finding answers to my each n every thought n question popping up in my mind .i hope not to irritate u ,ur writing have been really helpful .i was able to watch my thoughts and let it gofor about 1 yr ,but som new thoughts came n started scaring me a hell lot.
need yr help very early,my exams are coming ,i mean the most important university exam.
plzzzzz zzzzzzz reply soon
hi Shivani,
I am fellow OCD sufferer. I have made progress over last 17 months or so.
There is nothing called OCD, yes I am saying so after suffering from this since last 19 years. You will get there too.
For right now, just relax. Since you have exams coming, anything else would be too hard in short duration. For now, take it easy and do not worry so much about exams. You know, you will do your best if you relax. nothing in life is too important, I know it is easier said than felt. but, if you make it such a big deal out of exams, you will enter fear and exams will become a burden. Think about it, you are smart enough to get into med school, you can handle exams fine, correct? And in life, there are lot more exams that will allow, each with its own importance. do you best, which you do naturally, without straining too hard
Once you are done with you exams, continue to relax and keep on allowing. You will starting seeing space created between thoughts and awareness and these thoughts and they will lose hold over you. It takes time. Has taken me much longer than I wanted, but I am glad I stuck to the task.
Best of luck for your exams. And please excuse me if I sound like a preacher, that was not my intention
Anu
Thanks for all of your postings and your sincerity. I have been following Sen’s stuff for some 9 months and have been trying allowing but feel that I am ‘not getting it’ and am a bit confused over things like awareness, disidentification etc – as you say it takes time to grasp the understanding so I was just wondering if you could give us some pointers on how/when you achieved this understanding? Many thanks.
Rob
hi Rob,
I used to pester Sen all the time. I was like, I don’t get it, what is awareness and dissidentification?
- awareness – it sjust being aware. It can be done at 2 levels: 1. focusing on thoughts happening in your head, 2. naturally becoming aware. When you focus on thoughts, you give them too much focus and power and they feel very strong. I still tend to do it. however, awarenss, what Sen implies, is natually becoming aware. It happens with time, patience and relaxation.
- dissidentification – When awareness happens naturally, you can see your brain ruminating, also known as OCD, something I deal with from 1991 through 2013. but disidentification, again happens slowly when awareness grows.
I got this understanding slowly. I started following Sen’s notes since Feb 2012, so it took some time. At some point, I started seeing patterns, probably with my awareness growing. In between, I went through hell of confusion, misgivings, miunderstanding. Now, I have started feeling more grounded and I think the phase was part of th journey.
My humble opinion would be stick to this, relax (without forcing relaxation) and be patient. And allow yourself to be frustrated, devastated and being totally confused and wrong. With allowing and openness, mind/brain loses its ability to keep you hooked with fear of being wrong and mistaken. The most important change happened, when I was willing and open to not ever getting better of my OCD and having my life destroyed by it. I had strong physical manifestations in terms of physical ailments with OCD and it was not easy, but I think that is what really started opening me up.
Hope this helps. Please let me know if you have more questions.
Best regards
thanks a lot, anu .u don’t know how much yr words have mattered to me .i always felt that i was the only one suffering from this thing n this very thing made matter worse as i was unable to discuss things with anybody n my college psychiatric depart .always used to prescribe me medicine which i avoided .and after yr writings ,i m glad that i avoided medicine as i was always hopeful that i will overcome it .god bless u .
Hi,
I am new to all this. I have been struggling with a whole set of obsessive thoughts that run like a spiral inside my head about this one person. I do know people have certain inhibitions about other people but then those should not become a thought spiral that ruins your relationship with that person. And I know that it is wrong but I cannot help the thoughts every time I see him or talk to him. It is like as if they have trapped me. Is this process you’re talking about, meditation? How do you do this?