A physical body has its boundaries and limitations which are basically defined by the natural conditioning present in it (biologically it’s attributed to “Genetics”). Just like there no two blades of grass that are alike, there are no two human bodies that are exactly alike (even twins), so each body has its own unique features. The human mind has a certain programming in it that defines standards of beauty for it, this programming varies from human to human, it also varies on the basis of the country, race and culture we hail from. Every human being has different standards/preferences by which they judge beauty, and this standard is mostly coming from a natural programming in the brain, but it also comes for external conditioning that we get from our society (which can sometimes even mask our natural preference).
The mind has a tendency to “compare” and judge, and this is a very natural tendency. So we tend to judge our body based on the standard’s of physical beauty present in our mind and the external conditioning we receive from outside, and when our body does not meet the standards of the mind, we start thinking negatively about the body – and this is basically called having a “negative body image”. It’s safe to say that close to 70% of the humans indulge in some form of negative body image in varying intensities (especially in today’s age where there is so much exposure to the outside world due the internet). The intensity of negativity that you feel towards your body would define the intensity of negative reflection you get from outside for the same – so before blaming the outside for being judgmental, you would need to look within and see how judgmental you are towards your own body.
Don’t fuel your mind’s judgmental thoughts
If you are totally identified with your mind, you have no option but to keep fueling the mind’s judgmental, negative, thoughts about the body – this is what unconscious living is all about, where you are helplessly pulled around by the mind. However, when you become conscious (by awakening out of mind identification) you have the choice to not believe/fuel the mind’s negative thoughts about your body – this allows for a space of “wisdom”, and maturity, to come into operation. From this place of maturity you can see more clearly that your body is unique the way it is, and when you accept your body in its uniqueness, you allow for it natural intention/expression to be fulfilled – this acceptance allows you to attract people around you who accept you just the way you are, and you will also see yourself not being influenced/touched by some negative judgments that may come from the outside. In the end it’s not about the outside, rather it’s about your inner response – because it’s your inner response/perspective that defines your experience of the moment.
As awareness keeps rising in you, you start coming to a place of acceptance about your physical body, and start truly being aware of its physical uniqueness (you will automatically tend to become more keenly aware of your body as the power of awareness increases in you), you will start seeing your body in a totally different light – when you see your body from a place of pure awareness you are bound to see the beauty inherent in it irrespective of the judgments of the mind – it’s not the just physical beauty, but the alive essence of the body that becomes apparent to you, in one sense you see the body more “deeply” rather than just seeing it from a surface level perspective. This also allows you to see the beauty inherent in other human bodies, and you will not be rooted in any shallow, or surface level, judgments about others – you develop the capacity to see beauty in every physical body, and the mind’s pattern of shallow judgments starts dissolving in this consciousness. When you develop the consciousness to appreciate your uniqueness, you automatically develop the capacity to appreciate the uniqueness in others in every form, in every body.
Allowing inner beauty to shine through the body
Acceptance and alignment with your body also allows you to uninhibitedly project the light of your being through your physical form. This is one reason why people seem to have “glow” about them when they are in love – it’s because the light of their being shines through abundantly due to the vibration of love that they are aligned with. It doesn’t matter how beautiful your body might be on the surface, if you don’t allow the light of your being to shine through at-least in some amplitude, your body starts lacking the “essence” – we are attracted more to the “being essence” in the other human rather than just the body. It takes a very immature mind (almost a childish mind) to give more importance to physical looks than the essence of the human being.
Through life experience most of us understand that physical looks don’t define attraction – it’s the “essence of being” in the person that makes him/her attractive, especially in the long run. We all have this essence in us because we are all the same “being”, but it’s just that some of us cloud our being nature with the negativity/shallowness of an immature mind (but there are always moments when the being nature shines through even in the most unconscious human being, and when it does we can’t help but see the beauty inherent in them). For example, if you would just put two adults, around the same age group, who are “single” (in relationship status) and understand each other’s language, in one room for a month without any contact with the outside world – in 90% of the cases they are bound to fall in love with each other, irrespective of their physical looks and mind conditioning. This is because over a period of a month they are bound to see the “essence of being” in each other, and they basically fall in love with that – in truth, true love is felt for the inherent one “being” that we all are, so essentially we just fall in love with ourselves.
The mind’s desire to look good
It’s very natural for the mind to desire to make its body look good, and you don’t need to oppose or suppress this desire, rather just “consciously” allow this desire to have a free movement in energy space. If you are allowing it, this desire will manifest in ways that will make your body look/feel better, either by dissolving the negativity in your mind or by bringing about some physical alterations to your body – you may feel inspired towards eating right, towards working out, towards using certain cosmetic products, towards using a certain clothing style or even towards a surgery to rectify certain perceived deformity – as long as your movement is not coming from a place of lack/fear, the actions that come forth will be in alignment with your well-being.
Just because you desire to look good does not make you “vain”, but if you are totally identified with your looks and your tendency is towards narrow judgments of others based on their looks, this does make you a very shallow person and it will impede your “being nature” from shining through which will ultimately make you feel unattractive to others, and to yourself. It’s all about a “balance” that automatically comes in when you are rooted in your inner wholeness, through “being” consciousness – you can enjoy developing a better looking body (through eating right and working out, for example) and also feel an inherent love for your body as it is. In the absence of this consciousness your perspectives are always influenced by the surface level, narrow, one-tracked, limiting, thoughts of the mind.
People who keep trying hard to change their body image, and who keep failing constantly at it, are the ones who are not internally aligned with their being nature which causes them to hold a “negative body image” in their mind which they keep attracting/creating in their physical reality. If they would just take the time to come to an inner alignment, and focus on aligning with their being nature, they will be able to align “internally” with their desire for a healthier/better-looking body and allow their life force to generate the right inspiration/action/mindset/insights in them that will lead to an essential manifestation of the body image they desire – the manifestation could just start with a growth of maturity in the mind, or a better perspective on their body. After all, in the end it’s only what we “think” that defines our experience, so to have a growth/maturity in thinking is the most positive manifestation that can ever come through.