If you observe scientifically, you will notice that life-energy is a combination of two polarities, different teachings use different names to define these polarities – yin and yang, masculine and feminine, dark and light, high and low etc. The biggest misunderstanding is to assume that harmony can come by rejecting one polarity and clinging to another – for example, when you cling to the highs and reject the low, you may get a temporary sense of harmony but it’s not long before you start getting imbalanced. A mind is a receptacle of thoughts, and it will naturally have thoughts of both polarities (dark and light), harmony ensues when you can maintain a balance of both polarities instead of trying to squash one over the other. This is the reason why when you are faced by a surge of negative thoughts, you should stay in a place of allowing instead of fighting them – the state of allowing is the “light nature” that can balance the “dark nature” of your negative thoughts, if you try to fight the negative thoughts you end up fueling its momentum because you are now adding more dark energy. It’s not about coming to a place where you are free of one of the polarities, but about coming to a place where “balancing” feels natural to you – this is when you sense a constant inner wholeness as an experience. (The way I define “positive” is a state of balance, and “negative” as a state of imbalance)
What we call “neediness” in a lot of ways is a movement in us to try to balance our inner imbalance, of either light or dark nature, through attaching ourselves, in some way, to an external source – be it an object, spiritual goal, body of work or person. The external source can seem to provide a sense of balance for a while, but the very act of being attached to this source, or dependence, is an imbalance towards light nature (or yin energy as it’s called in Chinese tradition), thus it does not cure your imbalance rather it just ends up amplifying it. An outside source can be used to give you an understanding of balance, but it can’t be used as a crutch to stay dependent on for your balance – sooner or later this very crutch ends up becoming a source that amplifies your imbalance. As an individual life-stream, it becomes solely your own responsibility to bring balance within yourself by balancing both the polarities of energy within you – the balance of yin and yang, dark and light, masculine and feminine, polarities within.
Observing symptoms of imbalance
The act of becoming aware of the symptoms of an imbalance within you, is the first step towards the journey of bringing balance. If you keep denying your imbalances, you simply end up amplifying them on daily basis until they hit a threshold at some point – usually a health problem (including a mental disturbance), financial problem or relationship problem, or all three, is what this imbalance manifests as in our physical nature. Of course, there is the question of a collective imbalance in humans, and the various ways in which it’s manifesting, but instead of worrying about the collective, focus on yourself first – it’s easy to just sit blaming the outside, however unless you take full responsibility for bringing your own balance you are not really aiding in anyway towards a global balance in human consciousness. This the reason why your motivation for balance should always start with yourself first, before you can even express balance into this world.
One has to be very honest to observe symptoms of imbalance within oneself. Your external reality is of great help in identifying your imbalances, because your “experience” of your reality is always a precise mirror of your own state of being. Your external reality is basically defined by your experience of it, two people can be, seemingly, in the same reality but one’s experience may be completely different from the other. For example, two people can receive the same news, and one can go into a state of acute depression/anger, whereas the other may maintain a sense of equanimity – so it’s not the reality as much as your experience of it that matters. And your “response” is totally dependent on how balanced your are within yourself, and state of inner imbalance will always manifest into an imbalanced response. Observe your responses, and experiences, honestly, and you will easily be able to detect all your imbalances. If you constantly keep shifting the blame to the outside, you will have a hard time looking within yourself – balance yourself first and then see how your outside manifests as, and in the mean time work on bringing a balanced response to your outside influences by tuning into your inner guidance/inspiration to the best of your capacity.
Negativity is basically just imbalance, and it can be an imbalance in your light nature (yin) or your dark nature (yang). Examples of imbalance in your yin energy are neediness, over-sensitivity, meekness, victim-mindset, while examples of imbalance in your yang energy are over-indulgence (greed), aggression, arrogance, exploitative-mindset. People who live in fear need a balance in their dark nature (yang energy), which they have been suppressing. People who live in hatred need a balance in their light nature (yin energy) which they have been suppressing. It’s actually very simple when you see it this way, it’s not complicated stuff – it’s just about the movement of balancing the polarities within you. Even the Ego (the sense I in the mind) is not negative by itself, it’s just that it can be imbalanced towards dark or light nature and thus become a “negative” force – when the Ego becomes too self-obsessed it moves into an imbalance in dark nature, when it’s too self-sacrificing it moves into an imbalance in light nature, both lead to suffering.
Instead of getting too obsessed with the “symptoms” of imbalance, just bring a scientific view to it and see it as a temporary manifestation that’s indicative of inner work that needs to be done in you to bring the required balance.
The state of allowing and its balancing influence
The pointer of “allowing” is to allow your imbalance to be healed by the already balanced life-energy available in the space of being. Basically, this balanced life-energy is what I call “wholeness” and it can infilerate, and bring the same wholeness to your physical being; and you can become open to allowing it to “touch” you the moment you let go of your struggle and just relax into a state of openness. This balanced life-energy is called different names in different teachings, its called “Chi” in Chinese tradition, and called “pure consciousness” in western teachings – if you let go of your mindset of struggle and simply allow yourself to be in a state of total allowing of what arises, you become open to allowing this balanced life-energy to touch your imbalances, and thus bring them to balance. The way a balance is created can vary – sometimes the balance is created by guiding you towards an understanding, sometimes it’s created without any external understanding. The state of balance is always “reached” by moving into a state of allowing within.
Initially, as you become “allowing”, you move through the layers of gross imbalance (if you’ve lived a highly unconscious life in the past) within you – and this can feel quite unsettling as the suppressed imbalances (negativity) are touched by consciousness, it’s like bringing a strong torch light into a dark room to become witness to the mess inside. As you move through this phase of allowing your gross imbalances to find balance, you will eventually start becoming aware of subtler and subtler imbalances – the advantage is that with some “experience” you become more and more stable in your state of allowing, to the point where it starts feeling like your second nature. When you start sensing that this state of allowing (within) is becoming your second nature, you start feeling a sense of “confidence” towards handling your life, a sense inner stability sets in.
It’s important to realize that the state of allowing is not a “bliss ridden” state from the onset, the bliss that you are seeking is the state of inner wholeness that you come to when all your imbalances (at-least the gross ones) have been balanced out – not only the imbalances in the mind (the thinking) but also the “stored” imbalanced energies in your emotional space, or body space. So don’t get too confused when you sense a surge of negativity within you when you initially become “allowing”, it’s just an indication of how much of it was suppressed within. The reason I constantly give this pointer of being okay with the initial unpleasantness is because most people get “put off” by it and think that they are doing something wrong. If you are really open to this state of allowing, you will notice that your dark and light nature seem to start balancing, and this can create changes in your attitude and approach to life – for example, as the imbalance of light nature in the form of “neediness”, or even meekness, starts dissolving your approach to several aspects of your life will start changing. Your balanced version will feel very different to you, physically and mentally, like the birth of a new person.
The deal is that the state of balance automatically solves the problems of your personal reality – that’s why it’s called the state of being free of problems, which is nothing but a mind that’s free of seeing reality from yang nature (dark nature) of making it into a problem, neither are you seeing it with “rose tinted” glasses from your yin nature (light nature) as a means of denial, rather it’s seen in a very open manner which you can only experience when you sense this balance in yourself. Trying to explain it in words will cause your mind to perceive it in a dark manner or a light manner depending on the imbalance you have going, so it’s best to just suggest that you find out for yourself by coming to a balance within you. The problems of an “imbalanced mind” cannot be sorted out through quick-fix advices, pep talk, or techniques, it can only be solved when it can reach a balance for itself – it’s a personal journey. Instead of trying to sort out your external reality through an action oriented approach coming from an imbalance mind, take the time to allow your inner space to be balanced out first, it’s the best investment in time you can ever make and it pays rich dividends – it solves your problems without “trying” to solve them.