Channel Your Sexual Energy

Posted on by Sen.

The intensity of sexual energy cannot be matched with any emotion known to humans. The force instigated by sexual energy can override even the most intense fears in a human; there is enough evidence to suggest that humans can undertake some extremely risky behaviors under the influence of this energy, which they would not dream of doing if they were not taken up by it. No other force has the power to inject the amount of courage, fearlessness, imagination, impetus, motivation and creativity that the force of sexual energy has. This is one reason why sex is the most sought after activity by humans and why sex is the major topic of discussion in all spiritual and religious literatures. But if sex, or sexual activities, is the only means into which you channel your sexual energy, you are losing out on realizing the full potential of this energy in you. In fact, over indulgence in sexual activities is usually a lopsided behavior found in humans who fail to develop the conscious channeling of this energy into their creative expression, personal power and well-being.

Containing the sexual energy

You should be able to contain the sexual energy before you are able to channel it. It’s like containing the water behind a dam so that it can be channeled into more useful pursuits; in the absence of a dam, that contains this water, the water just flows chaotically serving no useful purpose. A stability in required in your being before you can contain this strong energy in your space. This stability is arrived at as you allow yourself to rest in the space of awareness, without being taken in by the constant flux of the mind activities – it’s like being rooted in the depth of an ocean so that you are not affected so much by the waves on the surfaces. Once you’ve developed this stability in your being, it’s easy to contain even the strongest surges of sexual energy without being taken in by it completely.

The most normal human reaction to a surge of sexual energy in them is to immediately expend it via some sexual activity, one reason for this behavior is that you find it difficult to contain such a huge surge of energy and find it a relief to expel it through the release of a sexual activity. This behavior is an indication that you are quite helpless, and powerless, in front of this energy which seems to “drive” you rather than you channeling it the way you want. Also, a lot of people try to suppress the sexual energy in them (especially people who have misplaced spiritual beliefs) out of guilt, or fear, which ends up creating resistances to the natural flow of life energy in them – this is another extreme of being powerless to your sexuality because now you fear it.

A lot of men, and women, have committed sexual acts in the impulse of the moment, under the influence of the strong sex drive within them, which they later regret, sometimes even for a lifetime. Some terrible violent acts of force have been perpetrated by humans who got unconsciously pulled into the strong force of their sex drive which blocked the allowance of a wisdom in their actions. To be at the mercy of the pull of sexual energy is like being a prisoner who has no conscious freedom but acts under the whims and fancies of his/her sex drive.

When there is no depth in your being (no depth in awareness) it’s very difficult to contain the sexual energy that seems to take over the entire physicality. Someone who is totally identified with the mind would almost be in a “daze”, or semi-consciousness, dragged into indulging in sexual activities, as if in a “stupor” or drugged state. A lot of people realize how helpless they feel against the pull of their sex drive. Enjoying sexual activities is a celebration of physicality and one should have no hang ups about it, but when you become a prisoner to your sex drive there is no longer a space of “wisdom” available in your actions, leading to over-indulgence, unwise acts, restless movements, violent outbursts and weak/non-magnetic personality. You would need to be authentic/honest within yourself to recognize if you are a prisoner to your sex drive or if you are stable enough in your being to be able to contain this sexual energy without it playing the master.

Channeling your sexual energy into creativity

The act of sex is the precursor to the creation of a new physical form – this is just an example of the creative potential of sexual energy in a physical being. If you’ve never consciously experience the “texture” of this energy in you, just allow yourself to stay in a space of awareness the next time there is a surge of sexual energy in the body – just stay with it without being dragged into the mind’s immediate need to expel it through the release of a sexual activity. For a moment, just feel the energy as it courses through your body, feel the pulsating strength of it. When you are able to stay in the awareness of this energy, you are basically able to contain it in your being without being dragged around by it. You will notice that this energy has the capacity to provide a sense of power within you, a sense of strength and vitality, a sense of courage, a raw sense of invincibility and “heroism” – no other energy known to humans has the ability to instill such a sense of power.

It’s important to understand, firstly, that it’s not “required” that you release this energy through a sexual activity. Most people unconsciously believe that they must find an outlet to their sexual energy through a sexual activity, hence they either suppress this energy in them (due to some orthodox beliefs) or try to release it as quickly as it emerges. But in truth, a completely different dynamic plays out in your physical expression when you don’t release this energy through sexual activity and simply contain it, allowing it to course through your space. It develops an energy of “magnetism” in your being – a charisma. When you don’t release this energy through a sexual activity, it will automatically channel into another creative outlet, I’ve listed some of them below.

– Sexual energy has immense healing powers and has the capacity to revitalize the organs in the body. The therapeutic powers of sexual energy are well documented in many spiritual literatures. When you contain this energy in your body, it automatically moves into bringing a healing to diseases present in the body.

– Containing sexual energy creates a sense of vitality and well-being in the mind, cutting through thoughts of depression, powerlessness or inferiority. It can create a spark of genius in your thoughts.

– People who study auras would tell you that sexual energy creates a very powerful positive aura in your physical being, which can be sensed by people around you as a “magnetic” quality in your personality. Napolean Hill, in his book “Think and Grow Rich” had mentioned that all the influential people that he’d interviewed were ones who had strong sexual natures in them but were also conscious enough to channel this energy into their being.

– Any thought that’s held in the powerful presence of this sexual energy seems to attract more strongly than in the presence of any other emotion.

– When you don’t expend sexual energy through a physical release, it seems to channel into creative actions automatically – getting things done which you might not have had the energy to do previously.

– The force of this sexual energy has the power to burn through resistances within you (that arise from fears or phobias in the mind) – it’s like being under the influence of a powerful drug while also being conscious in its wake.

– People who develop the stability in their being, to be able to contain the surge of sexual energy in them, have a magnetism in their being that attracts the opposite sex. A lot of charismatic people are usually the ones who are conscious enough to channel their sexual energy into personal magnetism.

As the light of awareness starts deepening in you, it will naturally touch upon the aspect of your sexuality. Any hang ups you have about your sexuality will be brought to this light and be dissolved in its wisdom, and this will allow a “free movement” of sexual energy in you – which can be way more powerful than when it was moving through resistances. This free movement of sexual energy can become chaotic if not contained through the same power of awareness.

So basically once you remove the resistances within you to your sexuality, by allowing these resistance to be touched by the light of awareness, you will move to the next level of a conscious channeling of this sexual energy into creative expressions, and personal power, by containing it – this allows for a wholistic experience which attracts well-being and abundance into your reality. You can also enjoy the experiences of sexual activity in a more conscious/passionate/intense manner when you develop this stability in your being.




36 Comments

  1. UnderstandingSelf

    Hi Sen, i had read about this concept earlier and tried to apply a few times. I agree, if the sexual energy be contained and channeled into creative areas gives a wonderful magnetic persoanlity and zeal in the work. I have experienced this before.
    But many a times or rather most of the times, whenever i don’t release sexual energy through any kind of sexual activity, it builds feelings of anxiety and frustration within me which erupts in a rather ugly way. Please suggest me how to overcome this.

    1. Sen Post author

      Though it may seem as if I am talking about some “technique” here, in truth this is not a technique but rather an observation of what happens in the wisdom that operates when one is rooted in a space of awareness. The “thinking” mind can take this up as a technique, and as usual it will only mess it up because the very mode of mind’s operation is of “suppression” rather than allowing. The element of true allowing always comes from your “being”, or the space of awareness that you are.

      The pointer is to deepen your position as the space of awareness and thus become more and more spacious in your human consciousness. When one is rooted in this state of being, there is a sense of “space” within the physical body – it’s only this space that can allow sexual energy to flow through without “suppression”, or resistance, and also be able to contain it at the same time. In the absence of this “space” it’s not possible to contain the strong influx of sexual energy, and if you try to do it using “force” you will only end up suppressing its flow causing the manifestation of some violent/dysfunctional behaviors in you.

      So just allow yourself to deep in the space of awareness, you will notice a release in the various resistances with you as awareness pervades your human consciousness. The space that gets created in the absence of inner resistances, is the “container” that allows the free flow of sexual energy to course through the body without getting lost in it, there is a presence of wisdom rather than “unconsciousness”. Such a containment of energy then allows a harmonious channeling of it into creative expression.

  2. Sanjay

    Dear Sen

    1. Although you mention that the physical act of sex is to be enjoyed you also seem to suggest that people excercise moderation in doing so. Obviously each person may have a different biological capacity for sex – some more some less. My question is how do we know that in any moment if we are indulging based on the legitimate need of the body or just giving in to the craving of the mind?

    2. Another related questionn about sex that I would like to ask is regarding morality and its relation to sex. Many enlightened Masters seem to suggest that moral virtues like monogamy have no real significance in spiritual understanding. These are just traditional codes that have been accepted and practised since a long time. My question is do these restrictive social norms also inhibit the free flow of sexual energy physically through the psycological inculcation of taboo and fear and if so then if a person is allowed to indulge more freely in the physical act with say multilple partners (most people are physically attracted to more than one partner)then will that person pardoxically find it easier to contain and control this energy since they have now not repressed this sex energy as much?

    Thanks!
    Sanjay

    1. Sen Post author

      I am not suggesting “moderation” (which basically is just mind strategy or technique rooted in fear), I am pointing towards allowing a “conscious wisdom” – there is a huge difference between these two movements. As you rightly pointed out each person has a different biological make-up with varying sex drives and sexual capacity – it’s not for any one to dictate codes for “moderation” which can be applied to all. In fact all codes of moderation stem from the mind’s bid at trying to suppress the natural movement of energy within.

      The pointer is be “conscious” and allow yourself to rest in a space of awareness. In this space, a deep wisdom operates in your being which is not “unconciously” pulled along with the influxes of emotions or energies like the sexual energy. In this wisdom, there is an automatic “balance” – there is no suppression or over-indulgence, but a harmonious balance. What I’ve mentioned in the post about a “containment” of sexual energy, is basically a phenomenon that happens naturally when one is rooted in the space of awareness – it’s not a technique of suppression, rather it’s a completely allowing the influx of sexual energy while being rooted in the wisdom of consciousness that allows the proper channeling of this energy – either through a sexual activity or for a different creative purpose like inner healing, personal power or creative actions. The mind does not know anything about how to acquire this “balance” – none of its techniques or strategies can accomplish this. This wisdom of balance comes automatically when one rests in the space of awareness.

    2. Sen Post author

      With respect to your second question, it’s easy to see that “codes of conduct” that are imposed externally always causes a movement of “suppression” within oneself leading to inner attitudes of guilt, repression and unnatural resistance – which manifests externally as some dysfunctional behavior. There is an deep element of wisdom which is already present in our “being” nature, this wisdom allows for an natural balance to operate in our human nature which works in tune with our unique “physical” make-up (or biological make-up). When you are connected with this “being” part of you, by allowing yourself to stay in a place of relaxed awareness, your actions will be imbued with a wholistic wisdom – such a being does not require to leash himself/herself with some external codes of conduct because their is an wisdom operational in them which automatically takes care of their movements in a balanced manner. Some humans are naturally inclined towards monogamous relationship in the sense that they are committed to one partner for their sexual and intimate emotional connection, while some prefer polygamous relationship – in which they may be emotionally connected to one person but may experience sexual connection with multiple partners. In fact, in many monogamous relationships it’s observed that a partner might seek emotional connection with multiple people while being committed to a sexual connection with their spouse alone. So all types of equations are possible in a relationship depending on the make-up of the people involved. When you are connected with your being nature, your physical expression is always harmonious without conflicts or suppression – there are no “dictates” about what’s the right or wrong expression, but what’s essential is that there is a conscious wisdom in the absence of which there is bound to be conflicted/dysfunctional expressions.

  3. Jay

    How do you distinguish between sexual desire and true love (if there is such a thing)? In my past relationships, I had intense sexual desire for various women but once I fulfilled my sexual desire, there is a feeling of emptiness. Is it that true love driven by lust? Is it possible to get comfortable or fall in love with a woman without the intense sexual desire? Also, at the same time, I see some conflict with the concept of non-resistance. If I were to not resist my sexual desire for a woman (even if it’s morally wrong, like a married woman), I would have done various horrible things, such as messing up other people’s family. But if I don’t give in to the sexual desire, I’ll be struggling (the condition for non-resistance is not struggling). Maybe I have all the concept confused because I am still labeling everything (the works of the mind). Would you help me out to clarify these ideas? Thanks.

    1. Sen Post author

      The essence of physicality is to enjoy the experiences that it affords. Who you are in your essential nature is “non-physical” energy and it’s a gift for this energy to take a physical form and thus experience things of physical nature – sexual activities are part of enjoying the experience of physicality. However, you need to understand that there is a huge difference between “enjoying” something and finding “wholeness” in something – you can enjoy the world of physicality in every way but if you seek to find your “wholeness” through it, you will always be left disappointed. All physical experiences are temporary, they are fleeting and subject to constant changes – this is the not the domain to seek your wholeness because you can never find it in the impermanent nature of the physical. In fact, a lot of people constantly feel empty and keep craving for fulfillment through physical experiences in a restless way without realizing that you can never feel the wholeness you are seeking through physical experiences. Your wholeness is realized when you rest in your being. As long as you all your attention is taken up by the physical, it’s not possible for you to be aware of the non-physical part of you – thus you will always feel something is missing.

      None of these posts are meant to give new techniques or codes of conduct to the mind. If you read with your mind, trying to get a technique out of this, you will just feel more and more confused. The pointer is always to rest as awareness, to let go into the “space” of silence which is always present around the noise of the mind – this silent awareness connects you to your wholeness. As you rest in this awareness there is a wisdom that operates in your physical life which automatically balances your reality. You will no longer be looking for techniques, because you will feel guided in the wisdom of this space of awareness. If you try to get all this with your mind alone, you will never recognize what I am pointing towards – but if you just let go and allow your being to take in these words you will sense that something within you recognizes the bottom-line in all this – which basically is to rest in the space of awareness and allow its wisdom to dissolves the resistances/conflicts in your physical nature – in this wisdom you will automatically find a balance, there is no over-indulgence and there is no suppression.

      The way most people define love in relationships is sometimes just another term for emotional dependence or neediness, where you crave the other person’s attention, approval and care. This is one reason why this so-called love turns to “hate” in quick time when they are not able to control the behavior of their partner. True love is not imbued with neediness, it’s mostly just an experience of sharing your life with a person you feel compatible with and enjoying physical intimacy/sex as an experience of joy without neediness. Or you can also enjoy a sexual connection with a partner, as an experience, without looking for any emotional fulfillment. If you depend on your partner to make you feel whole, it won’t be long before you suffocate her/him with your neediness thus causing a bitter conflict in the relationship. When you feel whole within yourself, you will enjoy the experience of having a relationship without feeling needy in it.

  4. Jay

    I took your advise of letting my conscious sinking in with my awareness. It works for one whole day. I feel at peace but doesn’t feel any joy. However, I don’t seem to feel the passage of time. That is until someone has something bad happened. Then, I started to put myself into her shoe and started feeling bad. My mind told me what if that happens to me. Then, the thought of “all suffering are illusion” pops up and that suffering started to subside. Then, I realize sympathy shouldn’t involve suffering. Even if I care about people in general, I don’t necessary have to take in the pain my mind imagine. I could still feel the joy while caring for others. Am I correct about this? Anyway, after one peaceful day, today, I wake up with the old emotional pain. All the bad habit that got associated with this old pain came back although not as acute/intense as before. Also, these bad habits have perpetuated for a long time. Although I have lost the some of the drive to continue, but yet, I still get into the habit of keep doing it.

    About the sexual desire, how do I know if the sexual desire I have for a woman is purely lust or something more than lust? Is it possible to feel “connected” with a woman without this “sexual desire”? I find it hard to feel “connected” with a woman without some sort of drive or the need to please her. In other words, I can’t even keep a conversation going without some sort of motivation/drive behind it. Thanks.

    1. Sen Post author

      Joy is not just about excitement or exhiliration, joy is also in calmness, in peace. Sometimes we don’t look for joy in peaceful moments can constantly crave experiences that are more aligned with excitement, thrills and kicks. It’s important to find the joy present in the silence or peace of your being, just as much as the joy present in the dynamic movements of excitement – this allows for a balanced physical movement or else you become a restless being constantly craving the thrills.

      When emotional pain arises, just let it arise fully without trying to resist its movement in anyway. Sense the energy of these emotions while staying as a space of awareness. The mind might find it unpleasant to have this energy in your space but as as a space of “awareness” you can allow it to be there. As you allow this energy free movement in your space, it will start ebbing away in intensity – it starts getting released from your space. There will be more openness and spaciousness in your body as the energy of these suppressed emotions get released.

      Relationships are for the enjoyment of companionship with another human – to enjoy their diversity, their energy, their outlook, their body, their heart/mind. You can enjoy a relationship at a greater depth when you are fully “aware” of the various aspects of the person you are interacting with, not just the physical aspects but their “being” aspect also. This is only possible when you are aware of yourself at a greater depth first, by deepening in awareness. The more the depth of awareness in you the greater “aliveness” you experience in each interaction with other humans. Sex is just one experience that you can enjoy in a relationship, there are many other experiences that can be had – like conversations, emotional connection, activities etc It can allow for the expression of friendship, physical intimacy and personal growth. Of course, if you wish you can have a relationship purely for the enjoyment of the sexual connection, it’s totally upto you to be aligned with the type of experience you wish to have. If you are confused about what you want, just allow yourself to bring a deeper awareness into your physicality, into your mind, and you will soon start having clarity. But be clear about the understanding that all experiences are fleeting and are purely meant for the “experience” of it, don’t seek your “wholeness” in experiences no matter how surreal they may be. The only place where you can connect with your wholeness is within yourself, by connecting with the “space” that you are in which the mind, and forms, play out.

  5. Andrew

    Hi Sen, thank you for all of your writings/teachings, they are simple to understand and I practice them daily with the hope of reaching my space of awareness … I’m sure there are at least 118 more layers to be released :>)
    My comment/question is not exactly related to this particular writing as it is a general question:
    You often mention that when one allows the “little me” to share thoughts etc. we should let it happen, stir around, let it do what it has to do with the hopes of it releasing, and you talk about the “mind finding it unpleasant”, which is true for me, but as well I experience physical discomforts ie: extreme anxiety, nervousness.
    I know the answer is probably to allow this as well and it too shall pass, but I was hoping that maybe you had something to share in regards to this
    that I might not be aware of.
    Thanks so much.

    1. Sen Post author

      The physical realm of existence has its challenges, one of the biggest challenge is the mind/brain’s resistance created out of fear based thoughts. The mind is a “survival machine” and by its very design is prone to look for danger during its waking state – fear of the future, fear of death, fear of people, fear of surroundings, fear of failure, fear of evil etc are some very basic fears that are present in all human minds in varying degrees. It’s not possible to ever make the mind completely “fearless”, but what can be done is you realize your position as the “space of awareness” and thus reduce your identification with the mind. The less identified you are with the mind, the less you will fuel its fearful thoughts and more space of wisdom there will be available in your life. However, when you awaken to your true identity as this “aware” energy and see yourself as a field of consciousness instead of only knowing yourself as human body/mind – there is a natural movement of awareness dis-identifying with the mind, this movement can lead to a lot of “panic” in the mind because it can sense that it’s losing ground – it’s like a child who is afraid of his father leaving him. It’s natural for the mind to feel a lot of fear when you, as the space of awareness, start dis-identifying with it. But this movement cannot be avoided and with time the mind will realize that you are not “deserting” it but are only becoming more whole in yourself.

      When the mind is fearful the body reacts to the mind’s fear through feelings of nervousness and anxiety. As long as you understand that what’s happening is a naturally positive process of awareness awakening out of mind identification, you will not be too concerned about the body’s reaction or the mind’s reaction. I would suggest that you spend at least couple of hours in a relaxed sitting state so that you can allow these frantic energy movements to settle down with ease. This is just a temporary phase that’s bound to take place when awareness starts waking out of mind identification (or identification with the “little me”). Remember, however, that this awareness is not trying to get rid of the mind, or the “me”, it’s only becoming more whole and it will be able to allow the mind more freedom of expression in this wholeness – so in the end it’s a good deal for the mind or the “ego” in that it will be able to attract its desired realities with ease when awareness become more rooted in its wholeness (thus no fueling the negativity of the mind). I can sense that you are at a place where you can understand what I am talking about since you can see this process happening in you.

  6. Andrew

    Thank you for taking the time to reply Sen.
    I will continue to be aware and work at it everyday.

  7. Pingback: Aligning With a Dark Natured Mind

  8. Abz

    Nicely written. I love the “timing”. I was contemplating this concept these past few months. I had a discussion with my mentor who is a practitioner of Huna (art and science of consciously directing your energy) and everything you say here makes perfect sense.

    It’s important to recognize that to channel this energy that the study of the mind (i.e. NLP, Psychology) needs to proceed its use. Look up Dion Fortune. This knowledge has been around for centuries but hidden because it was misunderstood or controlled by the current governing religious or political bodies of the time. It got lost in translation.

    With language changing (which is a technology in and of itself), the meanings and application can shift. To find this knowledge online just makes me more aware of how truly connected we are and it’s great to connect with like minded individuals who are on the path of raising the consciousness of this planet.

    It’s still always about practicing this stuff everyday. That is what the spiritual path is about. Be. Do. Have. Being-ness. Be in your body, take action (Do) and practice lots of self forgiveness and gratitude. And you will Have what you set out to have. It’s time to reawaken and remember the magnificent Creator that you truly are.

    Thank you Sen for your eloquent articulation! Great blog. Period.

    I also recommend downloading the original version of “Think and Grow Rich” At the time of it’s first publication they edited the section on sex and took words out that is now common place and easily one could relate to the dialogue to this day and age. Change does take time, I guess.

    Keep creating and be well!

  9. Dan

    Thanks a lot for the pure truth and wisdom here. This is the next step in my journey

  10. William

    I just came across this posting and for me is a miracle. I have had all of the bad habits manifest withi my mind and hence my being. It has affected a relationship with someone that i cherish and i am going to immediately begin this conceptualization so i can bevome more aware of my mind and the bodies impulse signals to it. thank you so much i cannot wait to share the results
    of my discoveries and development

    god bless
    william in az

  11. Thani

    Dear Sen,
    I just stumbled across this page and am blown away by your insights.
    I will keep checking into your website from now on.
    Certain passages really resonated with me particularly when you spoke of ‘trying feel whole’..
    I just wanted to say ‘Thank-you':)
    Thani

  12. Joop

    Hi all. Although this discussion is full of weight of wisdom , but let’s get back to the real issue: channeling your sexual energy . I beg to differ that one does need a technique to do this channeling. Great minds turns something complex into simple thoughts, as I offer such route based on my own experience: I am blessed with powerful sets of mind in attracting opposite sex. I can bed any women that I want, it is all about focusing intensely on her. This means that you treat her like she is the only woman that matters, be honest and sincere, no manipulation here. Thus, with this pattern of successful series , if I just divert my focus on something else, say job, money, abundance with the same powerful intense sexual energy, I have also been able to aqcuire my desires successfully. It is about conviction, give your best effort., and keeping your integrity doing it. Now the final part, is the real key: you must be poised and relax of the result!! Just do what you can that is within your utmost control while keeping your integrity intact,and leave the rest to Higher Intelligence. Try it, it works wonders for me, and there is no reason it will not work for you too. Keep it simple, that’ the real wisdom. Have fun trying it!

  13. Exclusive

    Hi sen. Great article. What can i do if i feel sexually frustrated and lust and resent women at the same time? Like i feel i want them sexually but i can’t have them and fulfill this wish!! so i substitute it with masturbation and fantasizing. What should i do? Because this situation really sucks and i hate being like this!!!!!!!!
    Please help.
    Thanks

  14. jenn

    I know this is an older article but still have a question. I’ve found that I’ve always had a very strong sexual energy. Now that I’m older I’ve been able to channel it and not always act on it and yes I believe it gives me a strong magnetism – but so much so it almost seems that everyone I encounter gets the impression that I’d like to sleep with which just isn’t so . . . obviously if I am genuinely attracted to someone I can’t hide it at all – – – I find that it can be somewhat difficult dealing with my sexuality with others . . . especially in business etc. Thoughts?

  15. Jude

    Dear Sen,

    Thank you for this great post. I married my husband half a year ago and before that we had been engaged for almost a year. Before we got engaged I was always longing for getting engaged, dreaming about him proposing and I didn´t notice any other men. But after it actually happened I started to notice other men and to get attracted to them. Even to men whom I refused while being single and men I don´t think I would be interested in if I had the freedom to do what I wanted and I certainly wouldn´t marry any of them. This attraction to other men than my husband has continued and become stronger and stronger until this day. And it´s not only that I´m sexually attracted to them. I even fall in love with them (in several men at the same time). And now I feel like it happens with almost every man I have to have some kind of relation to so it´s very annoying. I want way more sex than what I get from my husband. We certainly have a different sexual appetite. This ended up with me asking my husband if he would give me full sexual freedom in the relationship, if we could have an open marriage where we could have sex with others (even though I feared it would lead to jealousy for both parts and ruin what we have). He said no and got hurt by this proposition of mine. So then again I turned to this concept of channeling my sexual energy and I try to do it the way you say and to be concious and have some quite time with myself everyday and sometimes I manage to feel this wholeness that you´re talking about. But the problem is, when the night comes it´s like I can´t sleep without getting an orgasm first, it´s like the only way to “turn me off” even though I try to lay peacefully in my bed. I wish it wasn´t so because my husband won´t participate in this every night and I want to get the fullest potential out of my strong sexual energy by channeling it into creative and intellectual work instead of acting sexually on it. And me dreaming about others all day and night certainly won´t help. So I wonder if you have any advise for me. And also, don´t you think that humans are meant to be free, and if we are all one and the meaning of life is to love, than would´t the paradise on earth be established if we could all just enjoy free love? Love doesn´t know limits and sexuality is just one expression of love that doesn´t want to have limits either.

    Best wishes, I

  16. Rachel Ellyman

    Sen hey,
    First of all, i’d like to express my sincerest gratitude towards you because you have made an enormous difference to my life, for the better. I stumbled across your website in Apr 2012 and have read all your posts. Your posts are brilliant.
    If there is anything i have learnt the most valuable from you, it is to look at both sides of every aspect of life – the light and the dark natured. My age is 24 and my partner is 26. I love my partner very much. However, he seems to revel in sex, more than what seems normal, both in terms of frequency and intensity of the sexual act, deed and thoughts. I have tried to reason with him about the same however he always says that SEX is the most BEAUTIFUL NATURAL ACT and one that gives pleasure that no other thing in this world can. He also argues that while having sex we aint thinking of any unholy thought or vice such as that of jealousy, envy, anger, greed, or any thought that is meant to hurt others, and this is one of the reasons why he finds it beautiful. So he finds it nothing wrong engaging excessively in sex. Honestly i too agree with him on this notion that during or before the act of sex, i tend to forget everything about the outside world, and also ill feelings towards others, or negative thoughts about my own self come down because i am thinking about sex. I badly want to help my boyfriend and in the process help myself. Now it is here i want your direction. Sex seems to be a purely light natured activity to him. I know for certain by way of what i’ve learnt through your posts that sex, like any other activity, has got dark-natured elements attached to it.
    Could you list down the dark-natured elements associated with sex ?
    Even if you could mention a few onle line pointers (without elaborate description), it would be brilliant.
    Also while formulating the answer to my question, could you try to answer it in a general way – the dark-natured elements associated with sex(generally), rather than considering my case in isolation. i.e WHAT ARE THE DARK NATURED ELEMENTS OF SEX, (EVEN IF ONE IS DOING IT IN MODERATION) ?
    Thank you in advance !
    You are doing a smashing job of helping us all !
    Cheers mate !

    1. Sen Post author

      Rachel, when the light and dark are in balance there are no “negative” consequences. The light or dark nature component by themselves are not negative, only their imbalance leads to negativity. To say that sex is the ultimate joy/high and hence one should continually be immersed in its thoughts and expression has an inherent flaw in that this way of thinking causes on to use sex as a means of escape-based distraction. Sex is enjoyable but to be lost to the pull of joy is an imbalance by itself. One can use the same argument for music, food, sports or any other form of entertainment – enjoyment is a light nature aspect of life but that’s not all that life is about, if your whole motivation is spurred by the seeking of the next high you becomes a superficial/shallow person with a narrow awareness which fails to incorporate a depth required to live from a place of wisdom. So in that case, the dark nature of sex, or any joy-based activity, can be that it can become an addiction of its own used as a means of escaping reality in some way, and thus keeps you from coming to a place of inner wholeness/freedom. Like any activity sex involves an expenditure of energy and an overindulgence leaves on drained mentally and physically, that’s another dark nature of it. Sexual energy is a strong force and in someone who has a low awareness it can be over powering leading to unwise actions – sex crimes, broken relationships and depravity are just some examples of the dark nature of sexual energy. The dark nature in imbalance always leads to the blockage of wisdom.

      The deal with the state of balance is that the light and dark are integrated and hence there is no imbalance and hence no negative consequences. So, when you say “when one is doing it in moderation” – if you are implying – “when one has a balance towards it”, then there is no negativity involved.

  17. Rachel Ellyman

    Thank You Sen !

  18. Erika

    Dear Sen,

    I first want to thank you for the support you have given us all. I have read your blog a few times as well as other generally related sources to try to cultivate a stronger understanding to strengthen this practice of channeling.

    I am privileged to have a deeper understanding in the practice of yoga from my yoga schooling and am also trying to find further training to understand the Chakras-which is motivated from this exact dilemma I have been having, as well as my interest in the Chakras. From reading everyones blogs here and other locations, I feel my sexual energy is a lot stronger which I have never been proud of, in fact-I always find myself looking back at relationships or conversations with girlfriends thinking to myself, did I really just say that?

    It takes a lot for me to admit this, because its public and the fact I am a woman. I have always been the girl who had a boyfriend and I have been trying to take a break which started a few months ago and I have still been successful so far. However, this sexual energy of mine is so a lot more powerful than I even realized and I am reaching out for a deeper understanding towards practicing this method of channeling it into my creativity. I appreciate your time.

  19. Kelli

    I have found that in my late 40s my sexual drive is much more intense and different than it was in my 20s and certainly in my 30s. I think it has to do with getting rid of hang ups and also I noticed my drive became much more pronounced after my son moved out and I had gotten out of a long-term, stressful relationship so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s linked to stress levels. Even so, my son just moved home again and I’m dealing with his heroin addiction and being jobless and yet I still have the high sex drive. I’ve dated a handful of men in the last two years since my big breakup but the sex was really not that great. There is one man I was seeing off and on for the last two and half years but he could not have sex without getting sick, shaking and having migraines. I was his first lover in 15 years and he channeled his sexual energy into his music, writing, and other forms of creative endeavors. I still don’t know why he has issues with intimacy but we both recently talked and coincidently we found that we both think of each other sexually quite a bit. I’m just wondering why I’m so sexually drawn to someone that could never really satisfy me. I did find that he touched me so gently and arroused me like no other so maybe he awoken something within me. At any rate, he is now committed to someone else and I am trying to refrain from sex as it does nothing for me if I’m not in love with the person. In order to deal with my high sex drive I must admit I periodically masterbate. Are you saying I’m less of a human being and less enlightened for doing so? I’m sorry but I do find it relieves my stress levels and keeps me from wanting to jump in the sack with the wrong men. I don’t know, I hear it’s an aries thing..haha.

    1. Sen Post author

      Kelli, the pointer in this post is basically to bring an awareness to your sexuality and sexual energy, and use this awareness to bring forth a sense of balance towards it by releasing suppression or over-identification. Some people have a suppressed sexuality whereas some are over-identified with it, they are both states of imbalance. There is no directive here to not masturbate, there is only a directive to not be driven by your sexuality to a point where you feel helpless to it – enjoying a session of masturbation or having sex is part of the expression of sexuality, and one needs to get sense of one’s sex drive and have balanced expression of it; different people have different sex-drives and each would need to find a personal balance, there is no standard prescription on how much you should masturbate or how much sex you should have while being balanced, it totally depends on your personal sex drive. To have a true balance one needs to first have a sense of freedom from the drive, you can’t have a balance while being dominated by a certain drive – this is the reason why it’s initially required to bring an awareness towards your sex drive and allow the sexual energy without suppression or over-identification until you get a sense of inner freedom (or conscious freedom) from it, from this place of inner freedom you can bring in the required personal balance. This post is simply a directive towards finding this space of inner freedom with respect to sexual energy and thus find a more balanced expression relative to your personal sex-drive, beyond that it’s not some directive to quit on masturbation or sex (such forms of extreme thinking only leads to more imbalance).

  20. Giles

    Dear Sen,

    I have been caught in what I refer to as a cycle for 10 years now. I have a wife I love and respect and Children also.
    My wife does not desire me sexually so sex is infrequent, 10 times in a year. I have realised my sexual energy and am aware of its power, light & dark nature. I have communicated with my wife and addressed my concerns many times.
    The cycle continues and the imbalance in my 6 dimensions is continually present.
    I could achieve the physical gratification and suffer from the guilt and shame by paying for sex or seeking fulfilment elsewhere but this is not a reality I want as I am aware that this is just a physical release, not a spiritual positive experience that balances me and my energy form.

    What am I seeking? Where does this cycle end?

  21. Will

    am from a religiouse society that condems solo sex. i used to do ‘SOLO SEX’ Before i met my current girl friend, which i normaly feel guilty after doing it. After we became lovers, i descided not to masturbate again since she is always there 2 satisfy me.
    I later came across ur article about ‘releasing sexual energy’. But recently, i found out that am always having the urge to masturbate and after masturbating there used 2 be a strong wave of guilt and sadness that follows it.
    I’v been practicing the state of allow for 9months now. Even after my understanding about life, i still can’t help but feel guilty after masturbation and i can sense that this guilt keep drawing me 2 solo sex. Not to talk the sermon i hear every sunday in church about masturbation being a sin unto God.

    Sen, Do u think that maturbation can help me unearth the emotion of sexual guilt to be released?I want 2 relax and allow these emotional surge of sexuality, but each time i allow it, i feel that am not giving in 2 this urge because of my fear of guilt, and when i give in, the guilt comes up. How do i release this guilt? Is it by constant masturbating or what?I only want 2 stop masturbation out of choice, not out of GUILT. I need ur view .

    1. Mark

      Hi Will. I got the same situation as you, but without the guilt feeling. I just think that masturbating every day is not okay, and it’s kind of too much. And yeah, I admit that it’s hard to control. But, since you have practising the state of allowing for 9 months, which is longer than me. You could try do nothing when the urge comes, feel the urge to masturbate, feel the guilt when it comes fully. I know the more you feel it, the feeling will getting more and more intense, but believe me, it doesnt last long. I have been there, about this urge to masturbate and from the mind momentum. For me, the mind momentum is harder, I often find out that I am lost in thinking again. Try it Will, state of allowing is to allow everything that arise fully, u know that bro. I am also in the process of releasing the mind momentum, and i feel like i am changing. Oh, and also u can see porn when the urge comes, but the feeling will get more intense, and u need to be very very conscious when it comes. dont control them or suppress them.

      We are not the mind. I hope my experience can help. But Sen probably has different point of view. Wish you luck man

  22. Em

    “A lot of charismatic people are usually the ones who are conscious enough to channel their sexual energy into personal magnetism.”

    Is being “charasmatic” light energy or a state of being in a place of balance? I’ve had men in my life who are sexually attracted to me when I’m charasmatic but lose interest when I’m not. I definitely think my charisma comes from my sexual energy being in balance.. But I recognize now that Ive had other imbalances at the times when those guys lose interest (worry, anxiety, fears, etc). If I were balanced, would this charisma sustain?

    Im also curious on your thoughts of sexual energy and how it plays into the day-to-day of a relationship and as we age.

    Working in a creative field, I’ve found myself in trouble situations in the past because there can be a strong sexual energy when you’re creating together. If it can’t be acted upon, sometimes that energy goes back into the work – and that can make the tension rise more! I imagine it could be a great starting ground to a relationship, but I’ve never had it work. I’ve definitely gotten into the wrong relationships before because people can be balanced when they’re in their creative element (and Im extremely attracted to that). But they are totally off-balance in other ways (workaholics, for example).

  23. Sean

    Thank you,
    this was very helpful and interesting.

  24. jack green

    Really helpful!
    Thanks…

  25. Susan

    Dear Sen,
    Thank you very much for bringing light to our consciousness.
    God bless you

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