If you are feeling meaningless, the cause is always the same – you are not living the life you truly intend at this moment and may have come to a conclusion that it’s not possible to have that life.
If you had a hope that your life is moving towards your intended expression/experience, you would not feel meaningless – it’s when you lose all hope that meaninglessness sets in.
We try to suppress this feeling of meaninglessness through various preoccupations – entertainment, work, spiritual experiences etc, but it doesn’t ever go away.
The only way to really bring an end to this feeling of meaninglessness is by looking within yourself to see what you really desire and stay true to this vision by allowing yourself to trust in its fulfillment.
Step 1: Find what you truly desire
The first part of detecting what you desire is crucial but what’s really challenging is to hold on to its vision without opposing it with your mind’s conditioning. In fact, the whole reason for letting go of the mind’s momentum (releasing the hold of negativity), through the phase of relaxed awareness, is so that you can hold the vision of what you desire without being opposed by the mind.
If you want to see how much resistance your mind has towards the vision of your heart, just try to hold this vision in your mind for a while and see how many opposing thoughts get thrown up.
The thoughts can range from cynicism, doubt, hopelessness, anxiety (fear towards change) or just random negativity that goes on in your mind. When this happens we naturally let go of the vision because we believe the mind’s opposition (out of our habit of trusting the conditioning of the mind over heart) and then move on to live in this sense of meaninglessness.
For your vision to manifest your mind needs to be a co-operative component to it which means it should either support the vision or at the very least it needs to drop the resistance – the only way this is going to happen is when it loses its momentum of negativity.
Step 2: Stay in space of awareness to reduce negative momentum of the mind
It’s not complex at all, if you want to keep it simple – to hold a space of awareness just means to not give “belief” to the negative thoughts and just stay as the observing space.
If you say it’s tough, I would say do it more until you get used to it, until it becomes natural to you, until you gain stability in this space.
There is a huge difference between not giving belief to a negative thought and trying to “suppress” a negative thought, and there is a huge difference between “allowing” a negative thought to happen in the mind and “wallowing” in a negative thought – the former requires awareness, the latter is an act of unconsciousness.
It takes some stability in awareness before you can stop giving belief to the negative thoughts in the mind, especially as you sense that they are just “conditioned thoughts” of a fear-based thinking process – the thinking mind is really not a big deal if you don’t make it into a big deal, it’s just a machine and it’s supposed to work for you not against you, but it can only work for you when you are conscious enough to stop being a slave to all its perceptions and when it loses its strong momentum.
If your mind has a high momentum of negativity, it’s will naturally feel overwhelming, initially, when you try to stay as a space of awareness – this is because thoughts are magnetic (attraction based) and hence pull your awareness. The higher the momentum of a thought, the more repetitive it is, and the higher its pull.
OCD by itself is not an inherent disorder, it’s simply a normal mind in which a certain thought has been given so much unconscious attention that it has gained a huge momentum. Scientifically the only way to allow a thought to lose its hold on you is to allow it to die away by staying as a space of awareness (observe without showering belief). At one point, when the thought has lost most of its momentum, you don’t even need to stay aware, you can just be and it won’t affect you. There are no short cuts however, and you need to give the time that it requires, and the time totally depends on the past momentum the thought has.
The evidence of the reduction in the negative momentum of your mind is in the sense of freedom that you feel, if you are feeling overwhelmed by your mind’s movements it shows it has a huge momentum. Another strong evidence is when you hold your heart’s vision in your mind and can sense no real resistance coming from it – this ascertains that your mind has lost the momentum to oppose your vision.
Only at this point can you be certain that you are co-operative to your vision’s unfolding.
Step 3: Trust your vision and hold it in your focus
In many cases you may not know the exact physical specifics of your vision, and would just have a “feeling” for it, and this is enough, if you can just trust this feeling and stay true to it.
For example, you may have a feeling that you want to do something creative that’s enjoyable, but don’t know the exact specifics of how to go about it, or even what it is that you want to do, and so if you can only hold on to that feeling, the knowing will arise from this space at the right time.
You may have a feeling for the type of relationship you want to share, and if you stay with this feeling you start becoming a match to this reality where you attract such a relationship.
Another example would be that you have a feeling for a certain lifestyle that you want to lead but have no idea how to create it from your present situation, you just need to stand true to that feeling and the required understanding starts coming in. If you ignore that feeling, or suppress it out of doubt or cynicism, you are no longer a match to receiving this understanding or guidance from within and outside.
In many cases, people get into action too soon instead of getting a real sense of their inner guidance. This is because it’s easier to just be engaged in activities (in a society that appreciates being busy or the pretence of it) than have the openness to sense the inner inspiration.
The mind in its fear likes to keep itself distracted in activities, even though these activities may be taking you in an opposite direction of where your vision lies. So it’s important to first hold your vision in your focus, without resistance from the mind, and then be moved from the inspiration that comes forth from within.
To allow the resistance to ebb away is crucial to allowing the unfolding of your heart’s intent, and if you just keep yourself distracted all the time you may not even sense the amount of resistance you are carrying within you towards your vision.
Feeling meaningless is a “red flag” telling you that you are resisting your heart’s intent, and if you fully allow this feeling (of meaninglessness) to arise in you, instead of suppressing it, you can sense the inner intent/vision that wants to be realized.
Dear Sen,
I was stay-at-home mom for the last 3 years and just 2 weeks ago, out of whim, i applied for a job and got called for interview and then got another request to send my resume –it is a good thing in the current job market to have these chances and i feel happy and grateful. But i am also sensing a fear in me, that both these leads may not actually realise in a job. Where is this fear coming within me. I am feeling the fear without judging it, trying not to judge it. What is good way to understand my fears and reason behind my cautiousness? I want to be able to just accept the good things in life gracefully without doubting myself, feeling fears that it will all come to naught or fear jinxing my good fortune in someway. Advice please.
Thank you and in gratitude,
Chetana
Chetana, as long as the mind has a momentum it’s bound to have a grip on your being, the intensity of the grip depends on the momentum it has. Fear is a dimension in the mind, and the mind will normal create fearful thoughts about the future where it tries to project “how things should be”. The more momentum the mind has, the higher the grip of these fearful thoughts on your being. The pointer is to stay allowing of this resistance of the mind and understand that it’s only a matter of time before the mind momentum slows down as you are becoming more and more stable in your being.
The commentary about the believing of negative thoughts is so true. You cannot stop them and if you try you will dig yourself a bigger hole. you must see them as just thoughts especially the negative ones and see them as some story with very limited facts and evidence. you need to see your mind as a machine that is programmed to anticipate danger and avert crisis’s.These anticipated dangers are a throw back to a time when we needed to jump at shadows to survive. We no longer need to do this so we need to ignore the mind and just wing it. Living with the sense that I am open to any experiences without predicting disaster is truly living!
Sen, I get the idea of holding a space of awareness to allow any negative thoughts to dissolve by not energizing them with belief, but where am “I” during this process? Am I not simply a belief held in my mind? And if I stop believing in this mind generated self I no longer exist?
Jim, if you are asking yourself “who am I” – the answer is two fold, you are the “brain” (which is basically the center of this body) as this physical aspect and you are also wholeness of “life” (because life is all there is). You as the brain is connected with you as the life, of course the brain is just a creation of life made out of life-energy.
So in simple words, you are the brain as this physical form. As the brain you reference yourself as “I” or “Me”. I never said you need to stop associating with the “Me” thought, I just said let go of negativity that you are carrying, stop believing in negative patterns of your thinking so that you can have a better experience of physical life, so that your “Me” can have a good experience. The way to let go of negativity is to allow yourself to just stay aware of them without giving belief to them (you being the brain). When you are aware, you are not lost in your conditioned thinking, and hence are connected with a deeper intelligence (what I call space of being, space of life or space of awareness). In this space of awareness, you can start letting go of giving fuel to negative thoughts that you are holding in yourself. Remember that negativity is personal to you, and you need to detect your own negativity, the patterns that are blocking “you” from having a positive experience of life – there is no universal standard for negativity, it’s a personal thing.
Sen, you say to “stop believing in negative patterns of your thinking so that you can have a better experience of physical life, so that your ‘Me’ can have a good experience.” Shouldn’t this also apply to positive patterns?
Jim, the way I define negativity is the thoughts that create resistance in your being, and when one is aware and is not lost in being unconsciously identified with negativity, it starts losing momentum and thus you start becoming more and more resistance free to allowing your life-stream’s wisdom and well-being. The way I would define positive patterns are thoughts that don’t create resistance in your being and are conducive to your joy, such as thoughts of self-acceptance, openness, relaxation and inspiration, in fact positive patterns start incrementing as you start losing your negative momentum. To not be aligned with your positive patterns of thought is just another form of negativity.
Sen, you say that as my “physical aspect” I am my brain. Where does the heart fit in as a physical being?
Jim, when you (as the brain) are lost in negative perceptions, lack-based beliefs and fear-based movements, you create a lot of resistance towards being receptive to your heart’s call. The heart is your guidance (like a wise advisor) towards your natural expression, it has intelligence that can guide you towards living a life of alignment, but it’s upto you if you listen to your heart or be engrossed in a disconnected living. You can even take “heart’s wisdom” as a metaphor for the higher intelligence or the intelligence of your life-stream, if you (as the brain) are too lost in your negative/limiting thoughts you obviously have no space to allow this intelligence to guide you. The way your heart communicates with you is through “feelings”, intuition and inspiration, but you can easily discard its communication because it’s never “forceful”, life does not impose its guidance on you, it’s only an invitation which is always available if you decide to accept.
Sen, so who we are, as human beings, is twofold; I am my “brain” and the wholeness of “life”. Still confused on the brain part though. Chopra says to ask yourself, “Who is the I who says, “I have a brain?” His answer is awareness or consciousness. If this is true, then what is consciousness? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Thanks Sen.
Jim, if you keep it simple your will notice that the “I” is always coming from your brain, when you are asleep there is no I, it’s only when the brain is awake that there is a sense of I. Actually the brain has two parts – the thinking part or the “mind”, and the “Awareness center” – so basically the brain has the capacity to be aware of itself, of its thinking. So Chopra, might be calling this “awareness center” as the real I. Of course, you also need to realize that since there is only life-energy, and everything is life-energy, the true “I” is life itself, and life is “conscious energy”, that’s why it’s called the one consciousness or one being. When the “awareness of your brain” is not lost in the thinking mind altogether, it has the space to connect with “awareness of life” (specifically the awareness of your life-stream, which is focused on this body). So the “awareness of your brain” can connect with the wholeness of life when you relax your awareness from being lost in the “mind” (thinking part) of the brain. You can read the recent post – reducing mind momentum, the subsection “what is awareness”, it may give some insights on this topic.
The word “I” is created only in the brain, and you can sense that your “I” has a personality always, this is because it’s coming from the brain, and hence has the brain’s natural personality. A lot people get too spiritual and get into “imaginations” in their desire for the sense of extra-ordinary. To have clear picture of reality, it’s important to stay with the ordinary, and see the obvious.
Hi Sen,
I have only just found your site- so many questions to ask(!) however I wonder if you would offer some advice on this topic?
I feel totally meaningless, I have no desire to “do” anything,if we are just pure awareness- which I “get” intellectually- then what`s the point of doing anything. I realise that sounds really gloomy, maybe I have spent too long wallowing in self pity, also the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Osho, Tolle and on and on- and it has left me kind of questioning the whole business of life. I find absolutely nothing sparks my interest, I have no ambition, no nothing. This must make me sound like a depressive person, but really I`m not, truth is I haven`t a clue who I am any more. How to I get interested in life, and people? Hope at least some of this makes sense : )
Stella, if you are honest with yourself you will sense that your heart does have desires in the domain of physical life, it may be that you feel confused about how to manifest these desires or how to live these desires, and hence you are just looking to avoid the desires so that you don’t feel the pain of it not manifesting. The only meaning for life to take “physical form” is to experience and express in physicality, nothing more, there is no higher meaning – it’s something you can recognize in your heart. You are an expression of life, in the intention of experiencing and expressing in a unique way – and you start true to this intent when you are aligned with your heart’s desire, you don’t need to know “how” it will manifest, you just need to align with it without resisting it, and this alignment will allow the manifestation to unfold and you will sense inspiration arising in you to take certain actions that allow this unfolding. What’s the point of manifesting? Because that’s where your heart wants to go, that’s the point.
You answered! Thank-you so much, here`s me saying I am not interested in people, and yet when someone shows a little kindness, as you have done, I am moved to tears. I think( and I do too much of that… thinking) perhaps I am afraid, I have been trying to avoid life, because I get scared, because a lot of things have happened, and it is difficult to break old mind patterns.
But, I am so happy to have found your site-from my heart thank-you.
Stella, Don’t worry, you are not alone in this pursuit to find meaning for life!! I guess, this is a phase one goes through before getting clarity. I was feeling like this for few years. Sen sheds 1000 watt light in the path. Follow your heart.
Thanks Suhasini- I have been feeling like this for about 3 years now- as I said, I do think too much! However , I am grateful to have found this place. I like Rumi,I find his poems often resonate with me:
” There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?”
Thanks again, and thanks to Sen for the reply.
Hi Stella, Id like to comment about this too. I have been feeling like this for a couple of years as well and lately I suffered a severe breakdown because of it… But there is hope, and u do have things inside you. You enjoy beautiful poetry by Rumi (thanks for posting that verse).
I actually have been feeling the same, that I don’t have interest in people OR things. But I realized that I only feel this way because at the moment I am lost. When you find yourself within and ‘kindle that candle’ I’m sure that life will become much more passionate.
And this is a good place to start ( I am also new and find it very helpful).
Just relax and don’t judge yourself for how you’re feeling (or not feeling). This has helped me a lot.
Good luck.
Rina.
Hi Rina,
How kind to reply, and how perceptive of you to say “don`t judge yourself”- of course this is exactly what I do- I suppose we all do- to a certain extent, the ego /the mind whatever.
I don`t remember what I was “googleing” when Sen came up- but I am glad he did, it doesn`t feel so lonely now.
Here`s another one from Rumi
“The wound is the place where the light enters you”
Thank-you again.
I don’t know what to say here other then what you said makes sense.
I don’t know how to go about practicing it though.
I am 26 years old and I feel meaninglsss. I have my religious beliefs that tells me I am part of a great tapestry and I am just a thread in it but I feel like a thread that has gone out of stitch. I married very young because I wanted to be happy and avoid drama of life and wanted to skip to the happy part of life.
I have 3 step children and none of my own. I have no direction what so ever in my career… I feel utterly lost in that and I go from distraction to distraction while time flies by never finding anything that fills that void. I love my wife but she no longer fills that void. To be honest I don’t know if she ever did or if she was just another distraction.
I have an assortment of problems but there are those who have it worse then me and I find myself being angry at myself for not being happy with what I have. Its a good life and I feel like im ungrateful child. It still lingers though and when im not distracting myself and sit in the dark or lay in my bed my thoughts consume me.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I tell myself I need to get my act together more and go back to school then ill be happy but what if i do all that and nothing changes? Isn’t that just another distraction? I feel like I am fighting an invisible foe and I am not winning. I feel lazy and incoherent and like I said before meaningless.
I don’t know what it gains me to post anything here but I never expressed this before. Not to my wife. It would hurt her to much. I know it would.
I have tried at times and it never really gets me anywhere with her.
Sorry for rambling.
Jorge, you need to be balanced in your understanding of what “distraction” means – distraction is just something that you may use to avoid facing reality (like when a person keeps drinking every night to avoid facing certain thoughts in his/her mind, while being alone). Of course this does not mean “don’t drink”, it just means drink if you enjoy it but also don’t use it as a means to keep escaping some part of your reality – for example, you may drink a few times a week for enjoyment, but also use some days to just do some “inner work” (like introspection) by bringing awareness within yourself (instead of drinking everyday as a means of escape). This is also true for any activity, you can enjoy an activity or do an activity as part of a “required responsibility”, but have some awareness to not start using an activity as a means of lowering your consciousness (there are people who try to drown themselves in their work in order escape from some personal grief, and thus their work becomes a means of emotional suppression). So if you feel an inspiration to take up some courses of study, then do so – don’t try to create any unreasonable thinking of terming everything as a distraction. If you feel that your relationship is not compatible, you can see if it’s because of some lack of involvement or communication (which can be sorted out betweent the two of you) or if it’s because there is a genuine lack of compatibility/connection between the two of you (if there is a genuine lack of compatibility, at present, then you will have to consider some options using your wisdom). You can bring awareness to your current situation and work on consciously letting go of being lost to your mind momentum, connect with your space of being and become receptive to understanding/insight that comes from this place of inner connection. You can read the below posts for more insight on the state of awareness, space of being and becoming receptive to an attitude required for inner freedom
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-with-thoughts/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/transition-from-unconscious-to-fully-conscious/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/you-are-here-for-growth/
Sen,
This question has troubled me for many years, probably since I was a child. How do you follow your heart? I often feel so confused about what love really is…and how to recognize what’s in your heart and what’s in your mind. how do you align with what’s in your heart?
Thank you.
Sen I’m 14 years old it seems things are going down hill for me.
It seems to me that I have no aspects and I just can’t get the courage
To try harder in life. When it comes down to talking others I’m not
Familiar with I just get a feeling in my gut to shut up and keep moving.
Having the trouble of not being able to talk to others has been a serious problem
For me. Now I just get the feeling that I’m invisible to everyone it takes
So much courage to talk to others that it just drains my energy away.
Knowing everyone around me is also able to talk to others and do so much more
it just makes me wonder why can’t I do any of these things others can?
Thanks, Noxus
Noxus, the fact that you are only 14 years old and are such a deep thinker and contemplating these things shows that you have the potential for incredible growth and maturity. I think often times certain people are just big dreamers and have lots of desires…you are constantly evolving…and you want so much and see so much for yourself, but you aren’t quite there yet so you feel dissatisfied and are hard on yourself. You are insecure and this prevents you from engaging in the socializing that you would like to do. When you don’t feel good about yourself or don’t believe in your own self worth life can be difficult. But you are worthy. You were born worthy. You can become anything you want to become…you have complete freedom and power over yourself…where there is a will there is a way. You are not inadequate.
Noxus, I understand that at this age there is a desire to fit in with the idea of “normal” according to the outside standards (actually at any age the human mind has this tendency, it’s just more so at this age because you are yet to explore life in many ways and your idea of functionality is based on your environment, like your parents, relatives, friends and peers)). Sometimes it’s important to just question this idea of what’s “normal”, who defines it? who sets a standard for it? For example, when someone is born “blind”, or if someone is speech impaired, or if someone is autistic, we immediately think “this is not normal”, but it’s only a perspective coming from an assumption of what we take to be normal. From life’s perspective everything is an experience, an expression, a channel of growth, a channel of self-realization. A person who is good at talking to people may be considered more superior (by some) to a person who is shy/reserved/introverted, however, that’s just a narrow view. A person who is shy/reserved/introverted may be developing the capacity for “inner connection”, it’s possible that that’s the journey of their soul currently, to connect with inner space, and hence it’s not comfortable to relate/connect with the outside at this stage. For example, your introverted-ness has caused you to seek deeper understanding of yourself, and of life, it has caused you to question what’s going, and this questioning is causing you to become a more aware individual at a young age. Some quantum growth happens in the midst of the truly tough challenges. It’s all eventually a part of your individual journey as a soul/being, don’t compare your journey with others, your journey is personal to you and it will have it’s own flavor.
If its draining your energy to “talk”, just allow yourself the freedom to not feel forced to talk. Just go with what you are feeling currently, allow that. If it doesn’t feel comfortable to talk, or to be extroverted, just allow that fully – don’t try to label it as “abnormal” or as a “problem”. Like I said, this is just a phase in your journey as a soul, and if the desire is for more personal space and some isolation, just allow that. You don’t have to explain yourself to others, let them have their judgments about you.
Hi Sen i have a few questions regarding the feeling and vision you describe.
I have these feelings that i want to do certain things, like you describe to create things and have joy from it. And i know my mind still has a pull on me because i lose this feeling quite often and i am not fully aware that it goes, i am aware the feeling goes but not aware that iv lost the motivation and the drive. It just sort of lingers like i want it but not as much, obviously the mind’t doubts etc.
But surely there must be a time where, for example, if i was applying for a new job and i got it, but i have a bad feeling. How do you determine the ‘bad feeling’ from ‘fear’?
If it was a bad feeling as vibration or path i ‘shouldnt’ be going down, would the mind still be still? And if it was actually fear causing this feeling then the feeling would be incorporated with thoughts?
Im struggling to understand it, when this applies to various things in my life, i dont know if it is a path or decision i shouldnt be taking or if its rooted in fear. Im also noticing i am using the feeling like, “oh i must be scared to do this so il do it anyway” type attitude (typing this now actually makes me realise this attitude is just a fear of fear right?…still fear!) and sometimes i take it as a bad feeling and to trust my gut only to realise later it was fear.
Thanks.
Another thing while its on my mind, i find myself constantly describing to myself as things happen? Just as i finished typing my comment i grasped an understanding on something then before i finished thinking about it i forgot it because i was focused on describing whats happening to myself… “ahh so i get it no… im realising what ‘that’ means …. gone”
Any ideas whats happening here? Sort of like a running journal in my head as things of importance happen which stops me fully experience what i experience.
Thanks