A look at your mind will easily let you know what’s the predominant feeling you are driven by, it has to be one of these – hatred, fear, sexuality, boredom, joy, love. We are not necessarily driven by one feeling alone, but you can always sense what’s the predominant driving force in your life. It’s not rocket science to figure this out, if you are just honest with yourself it doesn’t take more than a few minutes of introspection to know what you are driven by – even if you’ve never considered this question before. We are all on our own unique individual journeys, as a stream of consciousness, and we’ve all had different lengths of journeys coursing through different lifetimes. The journey is always towards growth, towards more and more self-realization, and thus more alignment with our true nature. It starts with a total unconsciousness about who we are and as the journey progresses the self-realization takes us towards a, gradual, conscious knowing. As our knowing deepens, as we get more and more in touch with our true nature, the feeling, or force, we are driven by also changes – until finally it comes to love, inevitably, unequivocally. Until you are driven by love, you always feel that there is something missing.
It’s important to understand that this post is not meant to be a “directive” – I am not asking you to be driven by love as the “right way”, because this is not something you can force upon yourself. If you try to force your mind to be driven by love, it will immediately rebel against you. Like I said, this is the natural course of the journey, and the mind as it grows in awareness, and self-realization, will naturally come to this place on its own. It can’t be forced, it can’t reasoned with – let your mind evolve at its own pace. The best you can do is to be allowing of the mind, just let it be, and it’s a guarantee that it will eventually come to a place of love. A better description would be “conscious love” because there are several misunderstanding about the common way in which love is used. Conscious love is fearless, free of undue/depressing sensitivity, free of hatred (jealousy) and free of a primal drive. Again, this not something you can force on yourself, it just happens this way.
The only possible benefit of this post is to give you a conscious realization of your present state of being and give you a certain idea of where you are heading, so that you can let go of resistance towards this inevitable growth. Eventually the events that take place in your life is for you to “grow” towards self-realization, to evolve in your understanding of yourself, and this path of growth eventually always changes what you are driven by, and this process of change can feel very “disorienting” to the mind for a while – every time you make as shift it’s like losing an identity. This sense of disorientation can cause you to want to cling to your old driving force, and not evolve into the next level, which just delays your growth and stagnates your reality. An understanding of this journey can give assurance to the mind, to trust this path of growth.
Below is a sequence of the way a human being progresses in his/her self-realization and how it creates the growth path towards eventually being driven by love.
Driven by hatred – This can be considered the lowest motivation towards life simply because it’s a complete antithesis to our true nature, and thus takes a deep level of unconsciousness to be driven by it. When you are driven by hatred you’ve not even started becoming conscious of your true nature in any true sense, you may be a highly intelligent person with a high IQ, leadership skills, management skills etc but you are at the bottom most rug of consciousness. This is not really a negative judgment, after you are where you are, and all of us were, at some point, at this level in one way or the other.
When you see that all of life is one body of energy, a hatred towards the outside, or the inside, is eventually a self-hatred. As life-energy we have the “capacity” for hatred, but it’s our lowest form of thinking possible and to be driven by hate-based thinking is thus the most unconsciously motivated life. Since hatred attracts hatred, it’s not long before we end up in a lot of suffering, and the pain of the situation we find ourselves in eventually pushes us towards evolution.
Driven by fear – Strangely enough, being driven by fear is an evolution on being driven by hatred. It may look like a downgrade because hatred seems to have a power, or strength, which fear seems to lack, but from the perspective of growth, fear is superior to hatred because it’s much closer to love. You might have noticed that people who are driven by hatred, when they are struck by debilitating circumstances (attracted by their own hatred) can suddenly become fear-based – they get scared of life. Previously they were lost in a daze of egoic superiority, drunk by their own power, indulging in exploitation and abuse, until the tables turn as the hatred comes back at them – at this point there is a “crack” in the hard shell of the negative ego structure, and there is a realization of fear. This fear can continue into several lifetimes gathering force as we become more and more fearful towards life, until the pain of the fear causes a surrender.
Driven by Boredom – To be driven by boredom is an evolution on being driven by hatred or fear, this is like a state of “peace” where you’ve mostly just surrendered to life. You’ve no energy to fight against anything, you don’t essentially find any strong meaning in anything, you are not passionate towards anything. There is peace, but there is also a sense of deep dullness and detachment which looks “spiritual” externally. A lot of people mistakenly take this state to be the “enlightened” state, mostly because a person in this state is quite unaffected by anything. It’s true, however, that there is a lot of wisdom in this state, the dimension of boredom is an opening towards connecting you with the intelligence of your life-stream. One has a much clearer view on life and can see through a lot of unconscious mind games. However, this sense of meaninglessness starts building up slowly to the point of a subtle, or even strong, depression within. This sense of dullness eventually builds to a point where it pushes you towards an expression that involves some passion.
Driven by Sexuality – To be driven by sexuality is the start of connecting with your body in the sense of finding joy in it, so it’s a gateway towards the higher vibration of life, towards your source nature. Sexuality, in its pure form, is free of fear or hatred, it’s a powerful vibration of its own, and it’s definitely a very passionate driving force that takes you out of the motivation of boredom. The wisdom garnered from the state of boredom, the fearlessness and lack of hatred garnered from the previous growth, allows one to have a very free expression of sexuality. All the repressed sexual drive can come flooding onto the surface creating an almost drugged state of lust. It’s possible to be driven by this state for long time, mostly because of its intensity, its higher vibration, sense of detachment, lack of negativity and the “feel good” factor. However, with time, there is a natural progression towards being driven by sensuality as much as sexuality as a more evolved state of being.
Driven by Joy – Sexuality and sensuality are adjacent to each other, and there is as much an indulgence in sensuality as sexuality, in this place. By sensuality I mean being driven by the senses, drinking in the sensory pleasures of sight, taste, smell, touch – enjoying the aliveness of life, the adventure of living and the vivaciousness of joy-based action. Such a life may seem very superficial from the outside, especially to people who are driven by fear, hatred or boredom, but in truth it’s a huge evolution and is very close to the vibration of source. When one is consciously driven by joy one is at a high state of evolution because in this place one is not influenced by negativity of any form, the mindset of struggle is completely done away with – it’s not possible to influence such a person in any negative manner.
There is close to zero motivation to ever grow from this place, it seems to have everything but it’s not long (by long I mean it could be a few months, few years or a few lifetimes) before one sees through the limitations of joy. It comes as an unavoidable realization that joy is still missing something, it’s a highly disconcerting thought initially and the mind makes several attempts at distraction, trying to cover it up with joy-based activities as much as possible, but once the realization comes in it just doesn’t go away no matter how hard you try to avoid facing it. In this place, for a while, there can be a sudden influx of hatred, fear, boredom all at once because of the disorientation the mind feels – it almost feels like a total regression, like falling back in evolution, but this disorientation is very temporary mostly because your understanding of life is pretty evolved by now and hence is not stuck in any of the low states for long. However, joy stops being the motivating force anymore, once this realization sets in, and neither is hatred, fear, boredom or sexuality – if you allow this confusion fully you will naturally move towards the next phase of growth.
Driven by Love – There is a lot of misunderstanding about love mostly because it’s always corrupted by fear, hatred, joy, or even sexuality, in some way. Fear-based love is tainted with worry, hated-based love is tainted with jealousy/possessiveness, Sexuality-based love is tainted with an insensitive lust, joy-based love is also a lot of frolic with a missing sensitivity. When you’ve consciously evolved from fear, hatred and the primal force of sexuality, and you’ve seen through the limits of joy, you are finally mature enough to sense what “true love” really is. This love is not necessarily “towards” anything or anyone, this love is a state of being, it’s like a final resting place where you feel like yourself more than anything else. Of course, you can have specific love for someone, or something, from this place, but its presence in you is not dependent on any outside influence – it’s not like if the object of love is removed you will go into depression, you will still be in the same place of love, because this love is a state of being not an experience.
As a human being this is the highest evolution you can reach and from here on it’s just expression, just like source is always expressing itself in some form or the other. You feel driven everyday by this love, it’s “causeless”, it has no reason, it just drives you because it’s who you are. In this place you realize why life can’t help but express itself, why it creates the myriads of forms in nature, it’s driven by this true love. There is nothing more amazing than for this life-energy to come back to this realization of its true nature, again and again, in the form of different streams of consciousness with different journeys. This state of “true love” can be called different names – inner wholeness, a state of balance, inner stability, happiness, but ultimately it’s something you need to live to know what it is, words really can’t explain it clearly enough and there are so many misunderstandings possible. The best one can do is to use words as a pointer towards allowing this natural growth, this pull towards growth is already ever-present in all of us.
Evolution in a lifetime
Some of us will go through this whole sequence, mentioned above, in one lifetime, possibly even in a period of a few months, to a year. This just means that your journey this far made you ready, and receptive, for a quick transition between the states. Some may find it difficult to make a transition in spite of gaining an understanding and it’s fine, it just means it will take some more time and more experience. You can only transition when you are ready. Unless you experience all the “driving factors” and see their limitations you cannot come to a final rest in true love, it happens only when the mind really experiences this realization. This is not a directive to be forced on the mind, it’s just a pointer to help the mind understand the path of growth so that it’s not unconsciously holding on to any state out of confusion.
If you are willing to be open enough to drop an old “driving force”, just this receptivity is enough for your life-stream to instigate a growth. It’s when we try to cling to our past driving force, because we try to gain some sense of identity from it, that it becomes difficult to allow growth until it reaches a point of desperation where there is no choice but to grow or perish in someway. As I mentioned in this post – An attitude of learning – the best attitude to have towards life is to see everything as an opportunity for inner growth, in many cases growth comes in the form of some suffering especially from a sense of disorientation or failure. I don’t see anything as negative, I can only see a value towards growth in everything and this attitude is what really allows me to be resistance-free towards allowing the growth intended through any situation or thought.
Continue to Part 2