One of the main reasons why people delay/block the manifestation of their desired reality is because they don’t allow a transformation to take place in themselves (in their outlook, personality, attitude, mindset) that would allow them to match up to this reality. In many cases, when you desire a new reality, in a lot of ways, you are desiring a “new version” of yourself. There will be some desired realities that may be a total match to who you are presently as a person, and these realities do manifest around you with ease. But many of your big desires may require that you transform as a person to match it, and until you allow this transformation in you, the reality does not manifest.
This is main reason “small” desires seem to manifest easily while the “big/main” desires/dreams are not coming with ease. For example, you may be able to manifest an empty spot in a parking lot with ease, but that relationship you desire or that financial success you desire just doesn’t seem to come through. The manifestation of small things, like a free parking space, does not require a change in your personality while the bigger desires might require a shift in your attitude, outlook and personality in general, and until you become a match to the reality the reality does not manifest itself.
Can you a match to the new reality?
The direct question you need as yourself is – “As the person I am now, do I feel I am a proper match to my desired reality”, in other words do you feel that you can handle the new reality with the personality/attitude you have now.
You will notice that with some of your desired realities, you have a “fear” attached to its manifestation. You may have fearful thoughts about how your life will change when this “desired reality” manifests. For example, you may desire financial success but there may be fears in you about how your life will change once this reality manifests, you may even fear that you will not be able to “handle” the financial success. These fears are an indication that “something” in you is not a match to the desired reality – it may be your personality, your outlook or attitude, but something about you, as the person you are, is not a match to your desired reality, or else you would not have these fears arising.
It’s takes a bit of honesty and authenticity, to admit within, that you are not yet a match to your desired reality. You may desire that beautiful relationship, that amazing car, the house, the successful business, the abundant money flow, the healthy body or anything else that may be your “big” desire, and it’s also evident to you that your heart really desires to experience these realities, and yet the question is do you have “fears” about how you will “handle” these realities? The person you are right now may not be a match to the circumstances your “desired reality” may manifest around you. It can take some honesty to admit this within you, but acceptance is the first step to allowing the change to happen.
Allowing your fears to transform you
Most of us seem to run away from our fears, and this is the reason why inner transformation does not happen swiftly. It’s the “energy” of your fears that have the power to make a transformation in you. The only reason why you fail to transform is because you are constantly avoiding allowing the energy of your fears to really touch your being. Fear does not feel pleasant and so we instinctively try to run away from it, instead of allowing it to move through our space. When you allow fear to move through you, the way air moves through a flute, you will see that this “fear” starts transforming you from within and leaves you a “new” person, a more mature person, who is a match to the desired reality.
When fears arise in you, don’t try to distract yourself and don’t try to suppress them. Allow the energy of the fears to arise fully and move through your space, through your body. Surrender yourself to this movement of fear without trying to escape it in any way. It can be unpleasant in your body because it’s an energy movement, and it’s creating an inner transformation – in other words it’s almost “reprogramming” you from within. There is a lot of truth to the adage “On the other side of fear, is success”, when you allow a certain fear to course through you fully, you will emerge a completely different person on the other side – a person who is no longer afraid of that fear. This person, that you’ve transformed into, is now a match to the desired reality and hence it manifests with ease.
I really loved the way that you explained why small things manifest with ease while larger things may require some personal change. I had never heard it explained just this way before and it was very helpful! Thank you
“may require that you transform as a person to match it, and until you allow this transformation in you, the reality does not manifest”. For example, I wish to manifest a mate. I may have mental habits or particular thinking that impedes me, that get in the way of attracting my mate or more lifestyle habits of smoking, drinking etc.
Not sure what you mean by transformation?? Is it in both areas??
If you allow yourself to go deeper in your visualization of the reality that you wish to manifest – where you are in a steady relationship, you can get a sense of what kind of a person you what to be like in this reality. Remember that the reality you wish to manifest is as much about the person you want to transform towards as it is about the physical reality you wish to experience. Deep down you already know the transformation you want in yourself, you have an idea of the type of person you want to become. This transformation always starts in the mind, where it moves to a new level of maturity but it moves on to overflow into your external reality as it changes your habits, your behaviors, personality etc (as you mind moves into a new maturity you shed behaviors/patterns/habits that no longer fit this new mind state automatically). For example, a lot of people desire big money and keep focusing on it without actually going deeper in their awareness to understand if they have the “maturity” to handle big money, because with big money comes new responsibilities and consequences which requires a different mindset than the one which they may have right now.
A simple way to become aware of the inner transformation that’s required is to visualize your desired reality and see that type of “resistant” thoughts created by the mind – so when you think about your future reality of living with a mate, what are the fears, uncertainties, insecurities and resistances thrown by the mind? If you are not able to sense any resistance just allow yourself to go deeper in your visualization, go into the details – a relationship has several responsibilities along with the joys it brings, it may require commitment and there would be an intrusion of privacy in your life especially when you start living together, ground yourself in reality and get a sense of the day to day life you will be living in this new reality and now sense if your mind is throwing up any resistance. Patterns of neediness present in you can translate into negative situations like over-possessiveness, jealousy and frustration, in this reality. An intimate relationship becomes a strong mirror of your mind and inner state of being, because there is no hiding especially when you start living together. The thoughts of resistances in your mind are your hint towards the transformation that’s required in you to manifest this reality. Some of these resistance may not be visible until you start going deeper into the details/specifics of your desired reality and start seeing it in a realistic context (remember that a relationship is not just about chocolate flavored moments (as shown in some unrealistic movies), it has its share of ordinariness and responsibilities). It’s the same with financial abundance, it has its fun and it has its consequences and ordinariness. If you project some “larger than life” ideas about a certain reality you will be held in some “fantasy” projections instead of being grounded in reality of this physical realm and hence you won’t be able to see the real resistances present in you, and possibly be in a state of denial of your inner insecurities. The transformation is always about the development of a deeper level of maturity/growth that allows you to out-grow your resistances ,that allows you to fit into your desired reality – this maturity can translate into some external changes in your habits, behaviors, personality, attitude and lifestyle.
Sen,
If you see things in yourself that are not compatible with a relationship or a different career, are you saying you need to be honest with yourself whether you are willing to change to attain these? If not, you should not expect them to happen or be successful?
For example, desiring a more relaxed career or not wanting to be change a bad habit in a relationship? like organization skills or?
It’s not so much your habits but your “inner maturity” that defines if you are a match to a certain desired reality. The one reason why you may not be compatible with a reality you desire is because your mind presently may lack the required maturity to be compatible with it. For example, a lot of people desire a job that’s aligned with their passion but many lack the maturity to be willing to let go of the mindset of following the herd, or being independent – they keep trying to conform with others, while their desire is to be aligned with their heart’s calling, so there is a “conflict” in their inner space. When their mind develops a maturity to have the courage to stand true to their heart’s calling, their desired reality of being in a job that aligns with their passion, starts unfolding quickly. There are people who desire financial abundance but lack the maturity required to handle finances in a prudent manner, imagine what would happen when an immature mind ends up with financial abundance (usually it ends up taking some extremely careless actions upon itself and become worse off than before).
There is the desire for a harmonious relationship in many people, but their mind may lack the maturity required to sustain a long-term relationship and hence they never seem to be able to attract such a life situation. For example, the lack of maturity in their mind causes them project/imagine the “chocolate flavored” moments of a happy relationship, but it does not account for the moments when patience, understanding, stability and calmness are required – and so the pattern present in their relationships is that as soon as the chocolate flavored moments (what I would call the honeymoon phase) passes, there is a tendency to pack the bags and leave, instead of having the maturity to allow a constant growth/understanding of the relationship. The immature mind always has an “escapist” mindset and is rarely willing to go deeper than the “surface” level reality of a situation. Stable relationships, financial stability, good health – all these aspects of external well-being are built on the platform of a mature mind that’s not “volatile” in its perceptions. Such a maturity comes into being as one becomes more and more rooted in their “awareness” of their mind’s negative patterns and thus causing the dissolution of the negative momentum.
A mature mind is the perfect space for allowing your desired realities, so the movement should be towards reaching a stable/mature mind instead of being focused on what we lack in our external reality right now. I’ve mentioned a few characteristics of a mature mind in this post – a mature mind
I have identified some of these immature mindsets in myself. The escapist mindset, especially, since I interpret problems as incompatibility.
Accepting that this is my current mindset and allowing those feelings to pass without acting on them will help grow and change for the better?
As you start bringing awareness to patterns of immaturity in the mind, there is a gradual dissolution of the power of these patterns to have a hold on your being. This allows for a deeper maturity to start operating, even though natural make-up of the mind remains unchanged – in other words, there is now a wisdom coming from the space of your being that start operating along with the mind which ensures a harmonious experience of life.
thank you sen for the amazing article!
i have a question here: some times we don’t have any fear and maybe we are completely ready for our new desire, and we are match to it, but because we are thinking about it all the time (all day and night!) the desire doesn’t manifest, and as soon as we stop thinking, it may manifest!
is that true that thinking about the dreams all the time is a wrong way? if yes, how can we stop thinking?
Elham, you can find some insights with regards to your query in this post – When your desires feel ordinary, they are on the verge of manifestation
How about in certain situations when someone with an anxiety condition feels it really intensely? I’m afraid that my efforts to allow it will be really painful and will backfire on me.
Alex, you don’t have to make an effort to allow, rather you just need to allow what arises without trying to suppress it. If your anxiety is too intense, it’s just an indication of a high momentum of your mind and the load of negative energy store-up in your body, and allowing them arise is the way to allow its dissolution through a release.
Hi Sen,
One thing that I desire is to be financially independent, I want to own my time and work for myself.
This is something I have never done, so it is difficult to envision that reality and discover my fears etc.
I don’t know how it feels to have money come from a source different than a salary….
Or being able to pick your hours .
How does one discover a nre reality one had never been able to manifest before?
Radiance, the state of inner balance brings a balance to your external reality, in all aspects of it including finance – when I suggest that you stay with your desires, I don’t mean that you have to know the specifics of it, I just mean that you be allowing of them without resisting them through thoughts of negativity towards yourself or your desires. Your life-stream is already in its movement towards bringing your desired reality into shape, but you need to match its vibration by bringing yourself into a balance within – an imbalance inner state is not a match to a desired reality , because we inherently desire a reality of well-being and wholeness.
Interesting, thank You.
I agree. As long as You notice, that You are not there, than You know for sure becouse of the emotional feedback You receive (resentment, fear, etc). This would not be happening if You were experiencing YOur desired reality. The BIG reason You are not there I belive is that You are being conditional. You are using Your all and everything which is your NOW to judge Your situation instead of being happy and aware of your present moment and allow Yourself to flow to another. To exhibit Your attitude to move there no matter what. If You surrender Yourself into the magic of the current moment knowing it is simly perfect no matter how awful it looks, than You will be led to the next best step, situation or encounter. You will have no problem, You will be problemless which is the representation of Yourself living desired reality. And most likely much better than You could ever imagine. By surrendering, You exhibit Yout complete trust in what is comming and boy, …it will be fun :), do not You think?
the feeling You hanot not compatible with the version of Yourself that is representative of the reality You desire, than You have this feeling of resentment, fear