There is a lot of misunderstanding about the word “negativity” and this misunderstanding is at the root of creating “actual negativity” in most people. The “actual negativity” is resistance to growth – that’s what negativity really is. You are not here to sit in a feathered nest with no challenges, you are here to grow constantly. The moment your priority becomes seeking a “pseudo-security” instead of seeking a constant growth, you will start creating resistance within yourself towards the movement of your life (which is always towards new growth). For most people the attitude is – “I want to get to a place where I feel completely secure, until then I can’t be happy”, usually a completely secure relationship, secure job, secure finances and secure health, and this attitude is the reason why people stay in perpetual insecurity (or frustration) simply because such a place is not possible – seeking a permanent stability on the outside is impossible because the foundation of physical life is “change”, nothing can stay stable on the outside. The stability that you seek has to be “inner stability”, and from this place of inner stability you need to explore the outside world in all its unstableness, its constant challenges, its constant move towards learning/growth.
Coming to a place of inner stability is of course the first step, and the most vital step. It’s like the pre-requisite to really start exploring life, simply because as long as you don’t have an inner stability you will not be fearless towards the dynamic movement of life and hence constantly keep resisting your expansion/growth. Coming to inner stability by itself is a journey of growth, it requires awareness, understanding and courage to step outside the enslavement to limiting thoughts (beliefs) and emotions – unless you are free of your mind’s influence, and emotional influence, you cannot really feel fearless enough to explore constant growth – you will just live a prisoner to your mind’s animalistic “security” fears, rather than be open to the adventure of life.
The irony is that your very mindset of clinging to your mind’s fearful ideas of “security” is what keeps you in a constant state of insecurity – the more you seek permanent security the more insecure you will feel. Have you noticed how a person who keeps seeking permanent security through a relationship is the one who becomes greatly “needy” towards his/her partner out of fear of losing him/her, this neediness eventually kills the relationship and more insecurity ensues.
Why do we attract challenges?
A challenge is always labeled by the mind as a “negative” – such an attitude is what negativity actually is. The challenge by itself is not a negative because it’s just a platform that allows you to grow, but the moment you label its as a negative you start resisting the growth that was intended through it. You start fighting the life-situation instead of “growing” from it, or worse, you start giving yourself a “negative identity” (as a loser or a failure). You start struggling to change the life-situation instead of allowing the inner-change that this situation is trying to instill. If the situation is creating feelings of instability/overwhelming-ness it’s a call to grow deeper in inner stability. Once you reach inner stability, if the situation is creating a new desire in you, it’s a call to allow growth in your reality by allowing this desire to manifest. It’s all about growth, one way or other. A person who reaches a place of inner wholeness/stability does not stop growing – for him/her the growth path is towards understanding manifestation, understanding his/her power as a creator, it’s a new journey of understanding and growth. Once this understanding is gained, there will be deeper challenges to invest/employ your understanding – the next level. Growth will never stop for anyone.
The question people ask is – “I have been really positive and I thought I was resistance-free, why did I attract this negative life situation?”. The assumption is that once you are resistance-free, once you have inner-wholeness, your reality should become free of contrast, in that you should not see anything you dislike – hopefully you can sense misunderstanding of such an assumption, it goes against the principle of growth. Like I said, there are no “negative life situations”, there are just challenges – labeling something as a negative is the way your mind will resist the growth that is intended, and this is what actual negativity is. As a human being, in this era, there are two reasons why you will face challenges
1. So that you can come to a place of inner stability
2. So that you can start understanding your power of creation, your ability as a creator
It happens in the above sequence. Initially all the challenges you face are for you to come to a place of inner stability. Once you have attained inner stability the next path is to start understanding your power as a creator. Understanding your power of creation is just an “eternal” journey by itself, it will keep taking you to higher and higher levels, not just as this present human form that you are focused on but also your journey as a non-physical consciousness. A lot of the posts on this blog relate to the first step of the sequence, which is to come to inner stability – I’ve written a lot about it from my personal experience with this journey, which I sense has about come to an end for me. As for the second journey, which is to understand the power of deliberate creation, it’s a journey that I am just venturing on – I’ve written a few posts on “science of creation” but there is a lot more indepth understanding that’s to be explored. I would obviously be sharing all my understanding about this journey, as it unfolds, from my personal experience of it.
On a side note, if any of the readers of this blog have a sense that they have completed their journey towards inner stability and are looking to explore the journey of working with deliberate creation, I would like to interact with you and if you so desire you can send me an email.
Inner stability is a must before exploring deliberate creation
As far as physicality is concerned there is no such thing as attaining “permanent joy” – people who seek such a state want to avoid the “dark” nature and want to cling to the “light” nature of their mind, which will cause an imbalance. Inner stability does not mean that the mind is in constant joy all the time, that’s just unnatural and people who take drugs to maintain such an unnatural state see the “deprecation”, of their body, that results from it. It’s amazing how many spiritual seekers are mislead by the idea that the mind can come to a place of “permanent joy”, and they keep seeking this state for years or even a lifetime – they can’t find it because it’s not possible. The fact that you can never be free of hunger or thirst is a simple evidence that there is no state of “permanent” joy in physicality.
A lot of people misunderstand what “freedom” of inner stability really is. When you have an inner stability you are free to “allow” fear and thus fear loses its influence over you, this does not mean that the mind does not produce fear anymore (of course the intensity reaches close to zero momentum at one point, but it never becomes totally zero). To be “fearless” means you no longer fear allowing fear, it does not mean there is “no fear” – real freedom is the freedom to allow what arises. Freedom is not about reaching some place of “constant joy”, or a permanent high, freedom in its true sense is to allow the low along with the high. Freedom is not about trying to detach yourself from the world, freedom is about being free enough to totally get involved in the world, to be able to attach freely, because you are not afraid of facing the grief of loss – you can only truly love someone when you don’t fear the grief of their loss which is bound to come through at some point, if you fear grief you can never really love.
Reaching this place of inner stability where you can allow, and be balanced, in all the six dimensions of your mind – love, joy, fear, hatred, boredom and sexuality, is a big part of the growth you signed up for when you decided to be a part of the school of Earth, finding balance between the dark and the light nature. You obviously went through several lifetimes of imbalance, sometimes being imbalanced in your dark nature, sometimes being imbalanced in your light nature, until finally you reach a point of understanding/maturity that allows you to find a balance between the dark and the light (possibly in this lifetime). Seeking constant joy is like being imbalanced in the light nature, being constantly dull is an imbalance in the dark nature – both are imbalances. Seeking to be all loving is an imbalance in the light nature, being rooted in separation is an imbalance in dark nature. The journey to find a balance is the first journey that needs to be completed before you can even start exploring your potential as a deliberate creator – if you are not balanced, your creations will not be balanced and hence will have potential for harm more than well-being.
Your present life-situation is your platform for growth
Your life-situation, right now, is just a “school” for your growth – nothing more, nothing less. The unconscious mind may label it as negative, horrible, lackful, frustrating, pathetic or hopeless, and basically keep wondering “Why me” – this is a mind which has no real understanding of what life is about. A mind which understands life will always look at a life-situation as an avenue for growth, that’s all. As I mentioned above, there are just two journeys of growth 1. Growth towards inner stability 2 Growth towards exploring deliberate creation. The first journey is the pre-requisite towards the second. If a life-situation causes instability in you, you are still on your journey towards inner stability and until you finish this journey the feeling of “instability” will not stop, and you will keep attracting life situations that will keep helping you find this stability.
From your non-physical perspective, you signed up for this growth as a part of your journey on Earth, and you knew that Earth was the perfect platform for allowing this growth/understanding. Instead of looking at a life-situation and asking “why is this happening to me”, just understand that it’s all part of your own intention towards growth, it’s not a negative it’s just part of being on this journey of life as a stream of consciousness – you have to grow towards inner stability first before exploring your potential as a creator. Focus on your journey instead of comparing yourself with others – different people on this earth are on different journeys, with different intentions of growth and thus having different explorations. Ultimately, from an absolute perspective, none of this is serious it’s just a play of consciousness – it’s important to have this absolute perspective so that you don’t get too embroiled in the relative seriousness of your physicality.
Along my journey, I have manifested important realities that have brought me here but am still awaiting to create on a different level. I had always known that I will get to this point when I have inner stability. And this knowing made it easier to focus on the phase I am in rather than fear that I will never reach my biggest dream and give up – knowing that without inner stability I will not enjoy my biggest dream had I manifested with ego’s will. Like they say, it’s all about the journey not the destination. With love, Masi
right on as usual, thank you sen
Sen,
I am at a turning point in my life. I am ready to take the leap to a new career.. self-employment in something I love. I have trouble trying to analyze what will be the most successful and make me the most money. This way of thinking clouds the original purpose – doing something I love. There may not be enough of a market for my new endeavor, so I think I must choose another path that seems more profitable. How do you know what path to follow? Not think? Let inspiration take over? I have multiple ideas, but I’m a bit nervous. I know I want to do this.
We have the capacity for “free will” and you can utilize your free will to either go into action based on a sense of fear of urgency or you can use it to consciously wait till you feel that events have synchronized in a manner that give you a total clarity towards movement. A sense of urgency is mostly rooted in a lack based thinking, whereas a sense of “patience” towards waiting for a clear synchronization is rooted in an abundance mindset (which aligns you with the vibration of wholeness, thus making you receptive to your life-stream intelligence). The feeling of synchronization is very evident, you see that your external reality will present a clear opening for your movement, people, resources and opportunity are in place – you just feel moved towards it, rather than feeling a sense of “forcing a movement”. It’s just that very few people really allow life to synchronize events for them (due to lack of trust in life’s intelligence and a struggle-based mindset), they usually give in to the fear of urgency by the mind and jump in before events are in sync and thus go through unnecessary struggle which could also be counter-productive.
You mentioned that several ideas are coming forth in your mind, this is just one evidence of the synchronization unfolding – you don’t have to jump in too quickly to force the ideas into action. Just let it happen, you will see a clear invitation from your external reality to engage in action if you allow the synchronization to take place fully.
Hello Sen,
I like your work. Its very amazing how you write so fast.
Well I have a little question for you. Lately I have been thinking that it is good in fact a great idea to think about negative thoughts. I label them negative thoughts but in reality thanks to your article I now realize that they aren’t negative thoughts because I do not think of them that way, I just call them that. Anyways, what I find myself doing once in a while is thinking of situations where things just go bad.
For example, lets say I just got a girlfriend. I think about a situation where she cheats on me for whatever reason (there so many different scenarios I can come up with) then I challenge myself to see what will my actions be if this were to happen. In the past, thinking like this has help me with growth without a situation actually occurring in real life. That’s why I think is kind of amazing to sometimes think about the worst scenarios of a situation. But of course my goal of creating these scenarios are not to harm myself and create fear. Although it has helped me change and better understand myself, its still very hard to create these scenarios. It requires a lot of imagination. I do not know if I am on to something here, or maybe I am chasing a bad idea, what do you think?
Frankie, the mind has this capacity to help us face a fear through visualization of a reality in our imagination, and it’s a good thing to use this capacity to bring awareness to our fears. So what you are doing is fine, just use it as a means to become free of the grip of negativity that may be creating resistance in you towards exploring life freely. With respect to the scenario you mentioned about being cheated by a possible girlfriend -the reason we always feel insecure in a relationship is because we base our self-worth on how our partner behaves, to even feel “I got cheated” is an indication of a strong pattern of unworthiness that we may be holding about ourselves – the more truer perspective is to realize that the only reason we ever do something is because we think that we would feel good in the doing of it based on our understanding of ourselves/life, so it’s not that you got cheated, it’s more that she did what she felt would give her some happiness/joy based on her present thinking – after all it’s her life and she’s working from her level of awareness. The reason you feel “cheated” is because in your mind you had ideas about “possessing” her in some way which stems from a fear of holding on to someone/something on the outside for a sense of inner security, which by itself is a pattern of neediness that creates a lot of suffering. So this experience, or the visualization of it, allows you to face this fear in yourself, and thus become more free in your being.
Thats a nice article sen…. i now understand dat i shouldnt keep labling some unpleasant situations in my life as negative. It is the feelings/resistance it creats that is negative. I also understand that there is nothen like ‘parment joy’ in phisicality… These chalanges that we do face(which we label as negative), are actualy means/avenue for growth.. And its only if there is balance in our physicality that we will begin to see it as such…… Please sen did i get the point?
Look forward to continuing this journey from inner stability to deliberate creation with you!
In gratitude
sen so how do we know exactly when we have reached a point of inner stability? For a lot of this time i thought it was a state where we were going to feel completely free of negativity
Sen, you write about most people wanting to be secure before they can really start ‘living’. For the most part of the last year, fearful thoughts have lingered and i feel a bit in recluse. On the surface level, i feel stuck because there is the feeling that i have no real ‘choice’, and any choice that I make is somehow part of a packaged deal that life would have made anyway.
Likewise, I would also be lying if I said that I was happy with the way I am living. This is is just fact. I do not resent what has happened to me in the past. Yet, I am still living the same way as I was last year, at home & doing little with myself. I feel I have experienced enough of this challenge & want to burst open and become free. but keep falling into the same trap of a) Being intimidated by mind b) Accepting judgements of others c) Beleiving there’s ‘nothing i can do’.
Reflecting on the way I have been living, it honestly feels like i’ve been wasting time. I am scared nothing will change and I will be like this for another 5-6 years, but the mind is always quick to point out when I am complaining so I keep living the same way. I don’t have so much to lose anymore, so when will I know what step to take, if there is one to be taken.
sen what is your personal opinion on religion? I think it is something we as a human race will eventually grow out of and drop completely as it is just major hindrance to truly uniting as a race..
Im just curious to see what you thought of all this
Dear Sen – I understand and experience a sense of inner stability that was not present a year or two ago. But I am not clear on how this manifests into deliberate creation (or what deliberate creation really is for that matter.)
I look forward to reading more of your insights about this subject. And it can’t be said enough – I am so grateful I found this website. I’m honored and excited to be part of this process with you and everyone else here.
Do you think it is unnatural to not base some of your self worth on the behavior of your significant other? Why would one be in a “relationship” with other and not naturally be affected by their actions. Or a better question I would like to ask is, If I put a lot of time and love into my partner, how could I be less affected by actions that could hurt me. To me, not being affected by being cheated on means I would not let myself fully love and care for someone because I would have a wall build up to protect myself. Please help me understand a better way I could deal with a situation that would compromise my trust and love towards another
Courtney, if you bring an honest awareness to an unconscious mind you will notice that “fear” is its primary motivation, and it brings this motivation to “love” in relationships also, though it’s smart enough to cover it up with noble words like sincerity, trust, loyalty and commitment, so that it’s underlying fear is not questioned. It’s so easy to manipulate people with ideas of nobility (like trust and loyalty) and thus make them feel guilty about their behaviors and thus indirectly control them through fear. Obviously very few would be honest enough to see that they are using the cloak of the word “love” to defend a lot of their manipulations stemming from their inner insecurities. “Love” is a noble word, and one can easily defend one’s insecure behaviors by saying it’s all love – when in truth most of it is just fear disguised as love. If you are serious about coming to inner wholeness, you have to be willing to face up to all the fears in your mind, and be able to see through its clever arguments including the ones about love – the mind can easily defend its fears under the cloak of noble terms like love. Honest awareness can shake up a lot of your old conditioning (that were rooted in fear-based systems), and old belief systems, and it takes a constant orientation towards truth/growth to keep moving out of the imprisonment of fear – especially when it cloaked in the form of nobility.
Also you’ve mistaken two states of being – the state of being free within and the state of being “cold”, the former is true freedom coming from inner wholeness, the latter is just a defensive mechanism to hide from hurt out of fear of not being able to handle it (this is what building a wall is). When you are truly free you are not cold, you are very open to be involved – you don’t “try” to not be affected, you truly don’t feel negatively affected by the outside behavior, because your sense of wholeness is not affected by it, but you are also rooted in wisdom to take the right action that’s needed for the situation – you don’t become desensitized to the outside rather you move from a place of wisdom instead of moving from a place of fear/insecurity. For example, if your partner is found cheating on you and your inner wisdom dictates that you no longer continue this relationship, you break up without carrying any scars, you break-up out of wisdom not out of hatred. It’s also possible that your inner wisdom dictates that you don’t break-up and work with your partner to bring a conscious change into your relationship by sorting out hidden conflicts. Or it’s also possible that your wisdom dictates that you just opt for “open relationships”. Everything is an “experience” and you opt for the experience that you desire to experience – if you desire an experience of being “monogamous” that’s what you go for, but not from a place of fear but from a place of inspiration, by understanding that this is what you desire to experience as a choice. Wisdom is flexible because it’s not rooted in fear, it’s purely rooted in “growth” and inspiration. If you are not rooted in this inner wisdom, your only possibility is to live from the place of hate-based or fear-based reaction of the mind and you will likely breakup with your partner feeling deeply hurt, carrying a story of being cheated all your life, holding bitter memories, or may be stick it out with this partner out of your insecurities, and feel cheated/hurt anyway, and thus hold resentment – and call it all the “pain of love”, without being honest enough to see the volcano of fear hidden within.
A person who has come to inner stability/wholeness does not become cold, in fact he/she is very passionate about anything that they feel inspired towards, including a relationship. But this passion is not driven by fear, it’s driven purely by passion alone. Such a relationship never becomes a source of pain (even if its ends for any reason), it’s just a celebration of sharing your life with someone, while don’t being dependent on this person for your sense of wholeness – it’s simply love removed of the influence of fear. You can’t fake it, if you try to fake it by feigning a false sense of “coolness” your fakeness will get called upon at some point.
A fear based mind feels the need to dictate some ground rules for itself and for the partner, before getting into a relationship. Breaking these ground rules is considered a strict end of the relationship. A mind rooted in inner wholeness does not feel the need to dictate ground rules, and your relationship is based on the daily inspiration that you feel towards it, it’s not based on a “contract” you drew at some point. There is freedom to move out of the relationship as dictated by your wisdom if you sense that you are stagnating in some way through it – it’s not based on a sense of hatred or fear – the paradox is that wisdom takes care of the balancing responsibility with inspiration, you don’t become irresponsible you just don’t use it as an excuse to stay stuck, and this wisdom comes from your space of being rather than from the fears of the mind. None of this is an “idealistic” state, I am not a philosopher either who creates some feel good images of idealism. This is the true experience when one comes to inner wholeness, it’s a total end of the influence of fear-based motivations.
Hi Sen,
Loving all your articles, all very inspiring.
A quick question?
Is it wise to analyse my thoughts to find how and how things hurt me or bother me or is it just best to practise awareness of the thoughts instread of fixating on why they bother me or trigger emotion 🙂 ?
Ross, you don’t have to make an effort to “figure out” because this effort would be coming from the mechanical thinking of your mind which can only work with past conditioning. Just stay in a place of being relaxed and allow these thoughts to arise and play out in the mind, soon you will see their patterns being dissolved by insights/understanding that seem to come from a deeper place in you – from the space of your being.
Dear Sen, thank you for all your wonderful words.
I’ve written to you before regarding my anxiety issues. Which I’m sure is a direct consequence for seeking security in relationship and external objects along with a medicine that caused a chemical imbalance. But, the knowledge and intuition was always there, I always knew that this was wrong. And, I’ve never done that previously. I always felt comfortable alone and I was a lot more creative before. Something changed a long the way, a few years ago. As a child and teenager I was a lot freer, but as a teenager I also felt some part of me was missing, something within me that seeked towards a feeling of being “whole”.
A lot of people in my anxiety situation (and I’ve done it myself) seek towards planning, meeting people, working to “forget”. Which, for a while I think is ok, as long as it is improving the worst feelings and helps you working towards your inner self. It’s all about the balance for me. And I know that for me to grow, to move on, I have to work with what is within me. I can’t look for external things to change my route. – That has been my nr. 1 lesson.
I’m trying to step out of the victim role, and embrace what has happened now. It is challenging, but all the challenges I face are for me to come to a place of inner stability – no negativity intended, but the journey has not been a walk in the park – and no one said it would be. I often think “why me?” but I’m just starting the process. As we all are different, I think a word that describes a step I’m in now is – acceptance. I’m starting to accept what has happened, and from there is surrender to life.
A lot is confusing these times, and I think it is important to feel the hoplessness sometimes as well. I cry, and then it’s often getting better after. Having great imbalance in the mind and body makes it really unnatural to feel free and let go of the boundaries. That for me, has to happen after acceptance. I know I am not my thoughts and emotions right now, it’s all an expression. To move on, and to find stability is in the works for me. Now I’m living in a one dimensional life, with a lot of fear. In others it might manifest it self as anger, sorrow etc. But in between, sometimes for just some seconds, other times for minutes, and often at nights I manage to let go. I just let what is there, be.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to say, but even though I’ve had the “why me” attitude the last few months. I do believe I have a real understanding of what life is about. That’s why people in my situation keep on fighting. Og yes, joy and bliss would have been wonderful, but reality, something I know a lot about, involes the other side as well. But it’s ruling me at this moment, but hopefully soon I’ll be more centered.
Hi Sen
If we intended to have this incarnation in the earth plane, could it also be possible that some life streams intend to reach a balance during their incarnation here. In other words, can enlightenment (or as you say alignment) be intended only from a non-physical perspective or is it our birthright when we choose to incarnate. I know in replying to one of my earlier queries you mentioned that an intention could bring forth some physical incarnations which it knows have very little possibilty of getting to an alignment. The reason i am asking this is coz if this is so then alignment might be beyond us even if we desire for it here during our physical journey.
Thanks
Sanjay
Sanjay, to have such a perspective serves no purpose except to defend negativity/limitation in some way. The truth remains that who you are is a stream of consciousness living a physical experience, and as per your nature you have free-will and your desire/intention is powerful enough to attract it intended solution/understanding. So “if” there is a desire for a certain understanding that arises from your journey here on physical realm, it has the potential to find fulfillment – there is no force that can oppose your desire for an understanding/growth, life does not oppose life.
Hi Sen, I have been practicing awareness a lot lately, which has made me more conscious of deeper states of my being. I am becoming more aware of a present resistance I didn’t even know I had. The state feels something like dissatisfaction, a kind of neediness, almost like a state of blaming life for not providing me with what it should. How do you catch these states of resistance before they produce feelings of blame?
Thank you,
Alex
Alex, for a while you need to allow these feelings of blame and dissatisfaction as they arise – they will start balancing out eventually in this space of allowing. It’s not about playing a game of cops and robbers where you try to catch the mind before it creates a thought of resistance, rather it’s about being totally allowing of all the states of your mind in an open manner – the more allowing you are the less you are clinging to the mind, the less you are attached to the mind, and thus the more open you are to deepen in your being.
Whatever you do, DO NOT shut this website down! 🙂 (note to self buy a printer)
You’re the most brilliant man i know. Its a pleasure to learn from you.
~Bill