Negativity, the way I define it, is simply a state of resistance to what arises. We reactively have the tendency to resist what does not feel good in the body, for example, a thought in the mind, or a physical situation (like a body pain), which creates bad feelings is immediately resisted by us. This resistance is what I would call “negativity”. It’s true that low vibrational states don’t feel good in the body, and it’s natural to want relief from the bad feelings, but you will be delaying the relief/solution, and furthering the negativity, when you try to resist these low vibrational states. Resistance is totally futile, because it serves no purpose. Whatever has arisen in the moment is the way this moment is right now, resisting it is not only a waste of energy but it also creates more friction which is what suffering is, and it also delays the solution.
The mind has various dimensions in it and it has the tendency to produce low vibrational states now and then. In the same way the body physiologically goes through its highs and lows on daily basis. This is the flux of physicality and it is totally unnatural to expect to be on a high all the time. The low vibrational states are not a problem, they are a part of physical life, the problem is our resistance to them. I don’t call the low vibrational states as negative, because it’s natural to have them as a part of physicality, what’s negative is our resistance to them. The being that we are is naturally a pure positive being, and our vibration in the “non physical” is akin to wholeness or joy. However, in this physical body, low vibration is a natural happening, it’s not possible for the body to be on a high all time neither is it possible for the mind to do so. When you, as the being, understand that this is the nature of physicality, and stop shying away from low vibrational states, you find a “wholeness” in your physical body in the midst of the highs and lows.
Clinging to high states creates suffering
Several imbalances, that we see in human behavior, is a result of the attitude of trying to cling to the high states all the time, while shying away from allowing a full experience of the low states. Drug abuse by its very nature is motivated by this tendency to want to stay in a high state in a bid to avoid facing some low states – a drug addict’s body becomes emaciated due to this forced “high vibration” that it has to maintain. Of course, drug abusers are an extreme case of escapism. In actuality, this tendency of wanting to cling to high vibration is present as an unconscious pattern in a good majority of “normal” people and they use different ways to do this mostly through the use of distractions – food, material entertainment, spiritual entertainment, work, relationships, anything can be used as a distraction to run away from facing the low states.
When you live in fear of the low states, you become “needy” – which is inherently the cause of a life of negativity where you are constantly clinging to objects, or people, to somehow help you stay in a high state. You jump from one relationship to another in a bid to find that “perfect” partner who can keep you on a high all the time. You keep indulging in entertainment of all forms in order to feel more “alive” (because in your mind you irrationally think that being alive is about being excited) or you try to detach from everything in a bid to hide in a self-created cocoon. These are both escapist behaviors where one is afraid of facing all the dimensions of physicality.
Pursuits of enlightenment, the spiritual seeking, starts with a quest in the being to come to some extraordinary state of bliss, or a permanent high state. But anyone who is authentic would soon realize the foolishness of such pursuit, and would recognize that there is no getting around the ordinariness of physical life which will always be a mix of high and low vibration. This realization allows one to surrender to what arises, and soon there is a wholeness that comes into place where you are not subject to “intensities” of either the highs or the lows, but feel a spaciousness which is untouched by the changing states of the physical. In this place you are not shying away from physical life neither are you craving for the highs of physicality, it’s just a state of balance – it’s purely an experience of harmony. This choice becomes more evident when you get tired of the drama of imbalanced, or unconscious, living – which is what awakening is.
Wholeness in physicality
The state of wholeness, in your physicality, is simply a resistance free state of being. It’s not a state of extra-ordinary bliss or unending exhilaration, it’s simply a resistance free state where you are not suppressing, or clinging, to the flux of physicality, allowing for a harmonious movement. It’s the end of the “intensity”, the extremes and the drama. It’s a state of wisdom, and it’s also a state of inner freedom to allow what arises. You need not necessarily have all the answers, because that’s not what wholeness is, it’s not a state of knowing everything – it’s simply a state of total allowing, in this place the knowledge you “require” will always come when you need it.
When you look around you can mostly see two types of people 1. the over-excited ones who are always clinging to the highs of life 2. the over-detached ones who are shying away from life. In truth both are living in fear of life, the former is in fear of the low states the latter is in fear of highs & lows. The former may lack wisdom/maturity, the latter may have wisdom but lacks courage to live. You can see how both types lack a wholeness in their being. The secret of wholeness is not hidden somewhere in some extra-ordinary piece of information, it’s always in you, all you need to do is stop resisting your physicality – understand that the flavor of physicality comes from the mix of highs and lows, the more you allow it the less “intense” they will become (and thus you come to a place of harmony), the more you resist the more intense they become leading to an imbalanced life.
Everything in physicality is temporary and fleeting, if you try to “cling” it’s futile and if you try to suppress it’s just as futile. When you stay in a place of allowing you become a channel for a smooth unfolding of life – every problem brings a solution, every challenge brings a growth, every pain finds a healing, every requirement finds a manifestation, and all this happens in an effortless, and struggle-free, manner. Also, in this state of inner wholeness you develop the capacity for a clear minded focus on your desired realities (refer the post – clear minded focus).
beautiful and true:)
this has been my issue sen. When negativity arises which it invariably does my reaction is to try and get rid of it as soon as possible. Its like all the self help adviceive absorbed over the years focus on getting rid of negativity, including your own advice to disidentify with it. For me this has created an internal pressure. The mind has experienced times when I’m undisturbed by thoughts and idealises this. It says to me thats how its supposed to be and so it automatically keeps striving towards that. Of course, as you have pointed out, its not the negative thoughts that are bad, but the bodies reaction to them which pertetuates the negativity. In my case when I experience the negative thoughts, the ego or body, or what ever part of me gets offended and starts trying to defend myself against them. Its like a major internal dialogue which causes more distress.
This post was very resonant with me thats for sure.
There is a difference between dis-identification with negativity and trying to get rid of it. You need to understand what is your driving force, are you afraid of the negative thoughts in the mind or are you just not “interested” in them. If you are afraid of the negative thoughts, then you will try to get rid of them and you are basically living in fear of them. If you are just not interested in negativity, without having any fear of it, you can stay disidentified with the mind’s negativity allowing it to ebb away. The simple pointer is that the mind’s negative thoughts is not a problem, it is what it is, the problem is when you live in fear of the mind.
This is one of your best posts… I think most people are looking for the never ending “high” that is not achievable and seems to deflate all the progress we do make. I realized I need to set my goals more realistic.. that life is ordinary..
Have you ever considered adding a forum? so we can interact with others on the same journey?
Thanks for the suggestion, I will consider the feasibility for a forum.
Yes I agree with alliswell a forum would be great!
A very erudite post based on practical experience expressed in communicable and understandable language. Million thanks. Please keep up the good and inspiring work. Gool
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts via your posts Sen. They are eye-openers. I am experiencing the feeling of jealousy towards some friends. I am surprised with the feeling, and I dont feel good about having these feelings. Maybe I am identifying too much with these feelings? I guess I need to detach and just watch the feeling. Your comments please?
Ritu, feelings of jealousy arise from a place of inner lack and insecurity where we don’t feel aligned with our own life-stream and hence are comparing ourselves with others. Whatever you require for a positive experience of life is made available to you on constant basis when you are aligned with your life-stream, simply by letting go of identification with the negative of the mind and following your sense of inner guidance. There is no need or necessity for any form of comparison because who you are is a unique expression of life. If the mind indulges in comparison and jealousy, just allow yourself to watch its movement from a place of awareness, without believing these lackful thoughts. Soon this thought pattern will lose its hold on you, as you continue moving towards an inner alignment with yourself while dis-identifying with the negative thoughts of the mind. Disidentification simply means that you stop giving your belief to these limiting thoughts, if they are produced by the mind just stay aware of it without trying to suppress it, but don’t give it the fuel of your belief.
Thanks for your article Sen.
Can you please let me know article of yours, how to detaching an unwanted feeling/thought from ourselves.Also, to keep our mind stable/strong in such uneasy situation after detachment.
Sat, when you are stable in your awareness you will automatically stop fearing the mind’s movement. After all, the mind is only a neural network which is nothing more than a programmed computer with auto-learning intelligence. You can read this post – the practice of relaxed awareness on how to deepen in your space of awareness and allow the momentum of your mind to start ebbing away.
Sen, I am one of those who believed in the early part of my life that enlightenment meant ‘permanent high’ or ‘permanent bliss / joy’. However now i understand and realise what you say about being free of fear of fear, ie the state to accept / surrender to ‘what is’ / open, relaxed awareness. I, having Hindu background by birth, think that the Hindu scriptures don’t talk of enlightenment in these words explicitly (even though that is what is implied when we look deeply). As I mentioned before I always thought that enlightened souls are in a state of ‘ PARAMANANDA, NITYANANDA’. I am not trying to engage in an intellectual discussion here. I just wonder that if the pointers are not understood clearly or misinterpreted OR is it the evolutionary process that takes us to the deeper understanding?
Suhasini, words have a way of creating a form of “imagination” in the mind and it’s only when a person comes to the actual experience that he/she senses the actual meaning that was being conveyed – for example, when you look deeper at the term “permanent bliss”, you will sense that it has to be a highly ordinary state because “permanent” means something which is always there, which means there is no “high” (because for a high there needs to be a low) – that’s why I use the pointer of “inner wholeness” because it feels more appropriate and allows the mind to get a better picture of what this place of inner stability feels like. “Nityananda” just means permanent sense of inner wholeness, which is a state free of resistance from mind momentum, which is the most natural state to be in because that’s the natural vibration of life – there are obviously some physicals low and high cycles, but when you reach this stable place, you will sense that these cycles don’t have any real intensity so you are always in the presence of inner wholeness.