When your awareness becomes focused in this physical body, during your waking hours, it immediately becomes identified with the mind/brain because the mind is the only “noisy” part (or the part of body that produces wordy thoughts). When you are in this state of being, you give constant attention to the mind’s thought space and you also create unconscious interpretations of your own based on your identification. In this unconscious state of being there is a total identification with fears of the mind plus your own fears (out of your sensitivity) owing to being identified with a physical body.
Your attention has the power to amplify, or create a force of attraction, on any thought it focuses on (this is the potential of the energy that you are). So when your attention is lost in mind identification, over the years, you end up creating a momentum of negativity through your unconscious focus on the negativity of the mind and your sensitivity to physicality. Some people have lower negative momentum compared to others because 1. their mind is less prone to fear (owing to genetics) 2. their surroundings create less fear conditioning. However, in a state of unconscious identification there is bound to be a presence of momentum of negativity in your energy space – the intensity of it can vary from person to person. This momentum of negativity acts like a “block” that keeps you from sensing your wholeness (that you were naturally connected with as a child).
Carrying a heavy baggage of negativity
To carry this momentum of negativity in your being is like carrying a physical baggage that’s constantly weighing you down and creating fatigue in you. This momentum is “real”, it feels “solid” within you. Because this momentum is so strongly present, it feels like a part of you and you become identified with it to such an extent that you are fearful of letting go of it – this identification with negativity is what leads to the creation of a “negative ego” which acts like an entity that thrives on negativity and attracts negativity on the outside to feed on. When you take yourself to be the negative ego, you see through the lens of negativity and hence end up interpreting reality in a negative way, plus your focus keeps amplifying elements of the negative ego.
You only realize the “congestion” created by this negative energy accumulation within you when you are free of it. It’s like realizing how much space is present in a room when you clear it of all the clutter. In the presence of the negative momentum, it’s not possible to imagine what a state of wholeness feels like – you can get a taste of it now and then during moments of relief or when you are in love with someone/something (when your focus shifts to love for a while, instead of being focused on the negativity momentum). This makes you feel that you have to cling to the object/person in whose association you felt this taste of wholeness, and this clinging just ends up adding more elements of negativity to your negative momentum. This is one reason why we keep searching on the outside for wholeness because in our memory we tasted this wholeness when there were moments of love/relief on the possession of something/someone.
The question is whether you want to keep tasting wholeness all your life or if you would like to be permanently rooted in it.
Dissolution of negative momentum is a challenging phase
As I mentioned above, over time the momentum of negativity becomes so solid that it feels like a part of you, and you take yourself to be the negative ego. So when you awaken to your truth and see through the dysfunction of being identified with a negative ego structure, and negativity per se, you start moving towards letting go of it. This process feels very challenging, initially, because of years of identification that you hold with negativity. There are strong neural paths created in the brain in response to the identification with negativity and they create a sense of “addiction” to negative patterns. When the mind senses the dissolution of the negative ego, it feels a sense of panic because it feels that a part of its identity structure is dissolving. If you just allow all these fears to arise and not be taken in by it, they will pass away automatically, and this whole dissolution phase happens smoothly.
If you equate the process of dissolution of the negative momentum with the process of becoming free of a certain addiction (like addiction to smoking), then you get a sense of the discomfort you can feel due to the withdrawal symptoms. When you quit smoking, after years of smoking, the body goes into re-aligning with its harmony and this energy movement feels unpleasant in your being – the intensity of discomfort can last for close to 3 weeks or may be even a month. But as long as you know that something “positive” is happening, you will not be too worried about the discomfort. The same way, when the momentum of negativity is ebbing away, it creates unpleasant sensations in the body (because of the energy movement) and its intensity will keep ebbing away with time. Remember that this momentum has been built over several years of identification, so it takes a few months for it to die down in intensity (depending on the load you are carrying). Knowing this will ensure that you don’t feel any anxiousness about the energy movement that happens in your being as you start letting go of fueling the negative momentum (this is a very “physical” process and your body also goes through an inner re-structuring to adapt to this “resistance free” state of being).
The Experience of being free of the negative momentum
The simplest way to describe the experience of being free of the momentum of negativity is that you feel “spacious” in your being – it’s as if you have no boundaries within and nothing really penetrates you anymore with any intensity. It can simply be called a place of “no psychological suffering” and that’s a very accurate description of what you feel because you are incapable of “emotional hurt” in this place. You don’t become “uncaring” or insensitive to your environment, it’s actually the other way round where you become more capable of love but without any emotional suffering/drama.
Physically you feel “free” within, it’s like there is nothing within you that seem to anchor onto anything – it’s like you are just space, everything just passes through you without putting up tent. I speak from personal experience, so none of this is any airy-fairy spiritual talk – it’s a very real thing, a very real place that’s always here but was clouded due to the momentum of negativity which gets created through unconscious identification. We all have equal access to this place within us, all that’s required is that we have a brain that’s capable of some introspection and reasoning – it’s a very available state of being and you can reach this place by going through the process of letting go of identification with negativity (allowing the deconstruction of the negative ego and the dissolution of the momentum of negativity).
I call this place “wholeness” because you don’t feel contracted in this place, it’s open just like space. Since you are in touch with wholeness in yourself, you no longer cling to people/objects to give you this taste – hence you are free of neediness and craving. You are also free of emotional suffering and drama, and you don’t feel overwhelmed by anything. This place is just the right place for creating a positive reality because you are not moving from a place of inner lack/incompleteness. All it takes is the allowing of the process of dissolution of the negativity momentum through dis-identification, it’s very scientific and you can sense progress happening on daily basis – it’s not some vague spiritual process rather it’s a very practical process of scientifically letting go of identification with negativity by seeing through it in your awareness.
thank you very much for taking your time to write these articles Sen..
i was drawn to these recently and i have been clouded with negativity for some months now.. it felt as if i have become a prisoner in my own mind and the thoughts have definitely been creating my outer experience..
i have understood the law of attraction for a long time however this didnt stop the negativity from gaining momentom
however reading your articles i have understood the mind on a deeper level and i am having much more sucess in becoming an obsever of these thoughts and detaching from them.. my mind is starting to feel alot more free and already after one week im starting to see changes in my outer world.. amazing! thank you!!
Sen,
How would you describe the unpleasant sensations while ebbing away from negativity? I don’t understand why you would feel unpleasant during this phase. It seems it would be more liberating or is it because you are trusting the unknown instead of staying in the negative?
Also, what part does physical appearance play? You still care about the way you look, dress etc, but not to please anyone but yourself and not affected by others judgement?
There is a lot of energy movement that takes place as “contracted” energy of the negative momentum starts dispersing within your body space – these energy movements are felt as sensations especially around the chest, stomach, legs and head area, and the intensity of its movement can be unpleasant at-times (it totally depends on the load of negativity momentum within and your body make-up, hence each person experiences it differently, some feel it more intensely than others). Also as the negative energy ebbs away you also get pulled in by your life-stream with greater intensity, and you move into higher vibrations (your natural vibration) as the lower vibrational energies dissolve, your body adapts physically this higher vibrational state of being and higher energy flow. All of this is felt physically in your body, and its intensity (initially) thus creates sensations which can feel unpleasant. There are also moments of sudden bliss and exhilaration as you move into higher vibrational state of being, but these are also volatile and finally you will come to a stability in your vibration. Also the suppressed energies are released from your body as the resistance ebbs away, this release causes the negative energy to come into your consciousness before it’s released causing an temporary awareness of some old emotions and memories that were suppressed within – this can cause some discomfort. All in all, it’s very similar to any “detox” which has moments of unpleasantness as toxicity is being removed by the body and it adapts to higher vibrational state.
In the place of wholeness there is a deep inherent appreciation for the physical body as it is (you sense it as a gift that allows you this unique physical experience), there is an unconditional love for yourself just the way you are as this physical body/mind with all your uniqueness and physical/mental limitations. In this place of unconditional love and acceptance, you will sense your body feeling more vibrant within and outside, and you are also automatically more attractive to people around you because of the “free” energy of your being.
Dear Sen,
Regarding the uncomfortable physical effects, has anyone ever needed medical attention due to these changes?
I’ve been to several dr appt for various non urgent (so far) concerns and am curious how others have pulled through them? I’m not asking for medical advise just wondering if you could tell me how far or how long does this entail?
Thanks!
T
These are just some unpleasant physical sensations similar to having some bad feelings come up now and then as the mind/body adapts to being weaned away from negativity and moved into higher vibrational state. The only reason I mention this is because a lot of people get panicked as soon as they sense this discomfort created by energy movement as they “let go” of their old identification, and they think something negative is happening – when in truth its a very positive process of detoxing from the negative energy stored up in your being.
Since the dissolution of the negative momentum is basically an “energy” movement, it’s is felt physically as your energy keeps adapting to higher vibrations as the resistance ebbs away. Moreover as suppressed energies in your body are released in the state of non-resistance, you can sense their energy, or their emotion, as they are released. The intensity of the release depends on the intensity of negative momentum present in your being, different people have different experiences. If one is allowing of this movement, it just happens smoothly. Again this unpleasantness is very temporary (arises now and then during the phase of letting go of negative momentum), and it keeps ebbing away in intensity as the negative momentum keeps dissolving.
How long this phase lasts depends on your load of negativity, how rooted your are in your being and how relaxed you are in allowing its dissolution. These are just some physical sensations, like regular intense feelings, and they never cross the threshold of tolerance of your body – life has a deep wisdom and always ensures your well-being all the time, it regulates this whole process so that there is as little discomfort for you as possible.
Thanks!
I never thought that the act of consciously letting go of negativity created actual anxiety! This knowledge you shared is so helpful and liberating because I can see what «trick» is played upon me. I can more freely allow my brain to welcome my new desired state of mind -joy/peace/love. It’s like I can win over my own brain (lol)! Thanks ! I keep it up!
Hi Sen,
I have been experiencing what I think to be the physical effects of letting go of negativity for some time. Some of these expereinces have been unpleasant such as sudden flashes of light accompanied by sound almost feeling like a surge of electricity passing through me. This expereience has usually been just before falling asleep and is so startling that it creates anxiety in me. In contrast I have another very noticable physical sensation which I find quite pleasant. It is sound- a hum- that I hear usually at night when it is quiet and sometimes during the day. I seem to notice the sound more and more as I think I am letting go more and more. I think of it as evidence of connection to my life stream. I have also started seeing differently. I began some time ago seeing what I think is energy. Different forms: some like shooting stars and others like floating shapes which seem to move in groups and patterns- its hard to explain but I am facinated by these changes and I wonder if any of what I have mentioned are common experiences or does veryone experince the physical sensations of letting go differently? It would be interesting to know if other people have expereinced similar physical effects.
Many Thanks,
Franchesca
Franchesca, different people have different physical effects as their energy starts becoming free of negativity. Most people do go through a small phase of unpleasantness when a lot of suppressed energy within them starts getting released as they become more relaxed (as their resistance ebbs away) – this intensity of this unpleasantness also varies from person to person depending on the natural makeup of the body and their vibrational content. Some people do become privy to light bodies and see energy patterns, which are just some causal consciousness, which is basically just an evidence that their vibration is high enough to sense it, but of course this again depends on the natural makeup of the person involved because not everyone is inclined towards attracting such situations. As long as your experience is enjoyable it’s an evidence that your vibration is in alignment.
Sen I would appreciate your thought on this. I have this feeling, as far back as i can remember” that life is meaningless. I do not know why i have this feeling but it is like an undercurrent in me and pulls at me when i want to do something. The image i have is -that of a beautiful flower flowering in the forest where none can see it. Cause none sees it does it mean it is not beautiful. I feel the purpose of life is just living it and not to seek to give meaning to it. But funny enough i donot know what living it means. I am contantly involved in one struggle or the other – the childhood to teenage part was overcoming/living with sexual abuse and acting nothing had happened, traditional joint family settings. when i managed to escape that it was struggle was trying to live on my own feet and which i eventually did but the only option that worked was leave my country of birth. 10 years later i had sort of built a career, a well paying job but discontented feeling job. Now i am in a marriage that is a struggle. I just feel that i am always struggling with one thing or the other. I am working on buiding awareness and trust with awareness i will be able to make good choices.
Right now i was hoping you would share your thoughts on meaning of life and how does a meaningful life look like, feel like?
in gratitude.
Chetana, when there is a flower growing in the forest but there is no-one to appreciate it then it feels meaningless because its beauty does not have a reference. It’s the same with life energy. Life energy is all there is, so there is no-one to appreciate it (experience or express it). So this life energy has no choice but to self-appreciate by taking forms and becoming aware of those forms through others forms – basically creating a relationship. When there is only “one” there is no relationship, so this “one” takes multiple forms to come into a relationship with itself, so that it can express and experience itself. This is the only reason for life to take form. The only meaning for life to take form is to know itself, express itself and experience itself. There is no other meaning other than this innocent desire in life to know itself. That’s why from an absolute perspective nothing is serious, it’s just a play, life playing with itself – how can anything be unfair when it’s just the “one” in different forms, for there to be unfairness there has to be two, but since life is just one, there is no such thing as unfairness, everything is just a temporary expression/experience of life by life. Unfairness is purely an idea created by the mind and this thought also has a value in creating an experience of life.
Also, when light is all there is, it cannot know itself. Light requires the dark to have a contrast through which it can see its reflection. Just like the color white cannot know itself if there were not other colors to contrast it, but if you mix all the colors in the right proportion you always end up with “white”. So white spectrums itself into multiple colors through which it can know itself, but ultimately it’s all an expression of white. So life creates various living and non-living expressions – non-living expressions are in pure vibration of life while living beings have a mind which has various dimensions (like love fear hatred), these dimensions of the mind allow for a contrast through which wholeness can know itself. Plus the mind has awareness, through which it can experience life and thus indirectly life experiences itself. The stronger your awareness the deeper your experience, also when you bring a harmony to all the dimensions in your mind you sense the wholeness of life in you because ultimately these dimensions were created by wholeness.
Hi Sen,
Thanks for taking the time to share your thought on the meaning of life. The analogy of white light is just so beautiful and is helping me see life and its expressions in perspective. What is there in my life and how it is expressed and experienced is a reflection of my inner alignment – is something i comprehend and work with.
The question of unfair or fair had not crossed my mind. But as i read it, i feel uncomfortable thinking nothing is unfair. what comes to my mind is a criminal walking in freedom, while his victim suffers and has to now spend time and effort and life overcoming what happened. This i feel is unfair. If someone has wronged or abused you, especially when you were a child – your perspective of the world changes. Why should a person who commits such a crime be forgiven? How do you see child and animal abuse fitting in the oneness of life?
In gratitude.
To have an “absolute” perspective on life helps to bring a balance to our personal perspectives, so that we don’t unconsciously live out an imbalanced life of moving from a place of anger, hatred and fear. But it’s also important to be true to your human perspective and not become an inauthentic person who is trying to justify everything using the absolute perspective – saying everything is fine. But if we are totally lost in the human perspective alone, it leads to a built up of a lot bitterness, anger and animosity in us towards a lot of happenings and causes us to move from a place of hatred rather than from a place of wisdom. It’s important to have a balance between our human perspective and the absolute perspective – this balance requires a maturity in the mind, because the normal tendency of the mind is to get offended at the very mention of the truth the ultimately everything has a value from absolute perspective of life, including suffering. This is by the far the toughest understanding for the mind and as it’s very challenging to see the world from an absolute perspective first, before coming back to our human perspective. The human perspective is important and it’s of value, if you see abuse you will feel moved to prevent it – but if you have no understanding of the absolute perspective you can easily live a life of acute bitterness towards the outside. It’s easy to forget that the hatred we feel towards the exploiter is just as toxic to our being even though we feel justified in amplifying it, in the presence of an absolute perspective it’s possible to bring forth a deeper wisdom and not allow our actions to come purely from a place of hate and anger.
Everything is the “one” life, be it the criminal or the victim, they are both the one energy of life in different forms – so essentially life acts as a criminal and life get victimized, so from an absolute perspective it was just the one in two expressions – and all experiences serve a value for growth and awareness. Even if its hard to digest for the mind, the truth remains that love can only know itself in the presence of fear, joy can only know itself in the contrast of sadness, peace can only know itself in the contrast of hatred. When a lion kills a deer for food, is the lion a criminal and the deer a victim? Of course, and it looks sad from the perspective of the mind but it’s part of life’s play in that something needs to die in order to feed something else, even plants have life. For a while the mind can feel horrified to contemplate life in such a deeper way, because for so long it was simply living in a narrow vision of what goodness or evil is. It’s also important to contemplate that suffering is usually the catalyst for awakening to our true nature, so even suffering has a value from the perspective of life. The mind would say it doesn’t want suffering, but sometimes suffering is needed for it to grow in depth and maturity.
Once you have the absolute perspective, it does not mean that you start living a “fake” life where you try to be a drop out from being involved in life and act careless towards the negativity you see around you. If I see an abuse happening in my vicinity I would obviously move towards bringing an end to it, I would not just stand around saying it’s all “fine”, though from an absolute perspective everything is fine but my personal perspective is required for me to lead a meaningful life, to allow for my human expression to come through. My human perspective tells me that there is an abuse happening and I would obviously move towards finding a solution to it. However, having an absolute perspective helps let go of a lot of bitterness and anger we have towards a lot of unconscious behavior and a lot of things that happen in life as a part of its play, this bitterness is toxic to our own being and it prevents wisdom from operating in our lives. The choice is always yours, if you would like to lead a bitter life or if you would like to lead a life of wholeness, if you hold onto bitter perspectives (even if you feel bitter towards things that you feel justified to feel bitter towards), you will be directly attracting bitterness from life also. Hatred cannot really be annihilated with hatred, suffering cannot be annihilated with suffering, there needs to be a dimension of wholeness that needs to come in before you can truly bring a solution to the negativity around you. You can read this post – personal and absolute perspective – for some more insights on this.
Oh my god Sen. Thank you so much for this wisdom between human and absolute perspective. I feel a shift in my thinking 🙂
And thanks for such a quick response as well.
Sen,
Thank you so much for your great article.
When I try to be in relaxed attention, I see a lot of negativity coming out. It is a terrible feeling. I feel so afraid of negative thoughts that I soon try to distract my mind to food, TV, Music, browsing etc because I very well know that these thoughts are not good for me and for others as well. Can’t imagine even spending 30min in this awareness. Please give some courage to face my fears.
Well, I thought I was doing well with the detox.
I’ve been detoxing for quite a few months now and have managed to get myself to points where I hardly notice the things that bother me from time to time, though I can still only do this effectively as a technique, alone in a quiet room, which is part of my present problem/Just today, in college and on my way back, I found myself caught up in a very violent and extensive fit, nearly destroying half my room. It felt as if nothing had changed all this time and I had not released anything at all!!!
I have also been losing a lot of sleep this last week, having dreams about people I hate, I have less motivation to do things, talk to my friends, be involved in any creativity, and it seems like the only things in my life that are NOT disappearing is my negativity!