21 Comments

1. Samir September 10, 2011 at 6:35 pm

   Sen, great post. I’m trying to get rid of this one right now: “My life is meaningless.” It’s difficult when we realize just how indifferent the universe is towards us (as Stanley Kubrick once said.)
   1. Sen Post authorSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:26 pm

      It’s important to allow your “contemplation” of life to be scientific rather than fantasy based. A lot of philosophy and spirituality is highly fantasy based, and looks at life as something different from who you are. When you look at life as a force separate from “you” it creates the base for a highly deluded, and skewed, view of what reality is. When you look at it scientifically you will realize that there is no separation between you and the universe, it’s the same thing, everything around you is “vibration of energy” (physics has already proven that what you think as solid is really just energy vibrating at a specific frequency so as to “condense” and give the appearance of solid form). For example, when you put a few cubes of ice in water – it appears as if ice is different from water, but in essence ice is water in form, and when ice melts it always becomes water again, but even when ice stays solid, it still is water in form. So who you are is just life energy in the form of a body, and what you see around you is also life energy in different forms, a large part of life energy is also formless – its all just one. So when you say that the universe is indifferent towards us, it doesn’t have any grounding in the truth of reality, because in truth who “you” really are is what the universe is – the one being, one energy, vibrating in different forms. This is not philosophy, this is not spiritual talk, it’s grounded in science – there is no separation between who you are and what the universe is. The only reason we feel so alienated is because we are not able to perceive the oneness in everything, this is the illusion created by physical appearances that you can’t see that everything is connected, you see yourself as a separate entity and see everything else as separate from you – this is the core of deluded thinking.

      When you believe in statements like “universe does not care for me” or “universe is indifferent to me”, you immediately have a sense of “bad feeling” because these thoughts are disconnected from the truth of who you are. Any thought that does not resonate with the vibration of life will always create a bad feeling in you because it pulls away from your true nature or true vibration. Life energy is not against you, it’s just who you are – stop looking at yourself as separate from it because who you are is life. Unless you really come to this recognition within yourself, it’s normal to feel incomplete, disconnected or meaningless. A lot of people say “something is missing”, without realizing that what is missing is their connection with their wholeness, as long as you look as yourself as separate from the wholeness of life, you will always feel something is missing.

      Thoughts like “indifference”, hostility, hatred and other judgments, can only arise in the human mind through its “interpretations”. The universe does not perceive you in these terms, it’s one with you and it only responds to the vibrational signal that you send out. When you vibrate in feelings of fear/hatred, you attract a reality that reflects these vibrations back at you. When you vibrate in feelings of love/joy/oneness, you attract a reality that reflects these vibrations back at you. There is never a contradiction between the reality you attract and vibrations you hold in you, through your beliefs and thoughts, because who you are is a “creator” and you create through that thoughts you hold. Everything you see as “physical” is basically just thought energy condensed as form. Philosophy can create a lot of delusional thinking, which can only be dispelled when you start looking at life in a scientific manner, as a movement of energy. Life is always working for you because who you are is life, the question is how aligned is your mind with the movement of your life – when it thinks negatively its always moving in opposition to your life’s movement. If you want to feel aligned with your wholeness you need to let go of thoughts that disconnect you from life, the negative thoughts, these are the ones that create a bad feeling your body.
2. Samir September 11, 2011 at 1:10 pm

   Sen, thanks for the detailed reply. You are correct, of course, scientifically – energy can not be created not destroyed. It merely is. Since we are “matter”, we will one day be transformed into energy (for example if we are cremated to release heat… but also if our dead body gets eaten below the ground by detrivores for sustenance!)

   Therefore, are you saying all internal conflicts result from us “willing” ourselves in a direction different than our natural direction?
   1. Sen Post authorSeptember 11, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Any human being would desire for well-being, and hence will never “willingly” want to sabotage his/her reality. No-one would willfully desire suffering and unhappiness. So it’s not that humans who are suffering are “willing” themselves in a direction opposite to life, but they are “unconsciously” opposing their well-being by identifying with the mind’s negativity. The mind is also innocent in this matter, because the mind’s negativity mostly stems from mis-interpretations of realtiy, the mind gets into a wrong vision of life because of certain fear-based conditioning that we start imbibing in our childhood and well into our adulthood. If your mind was positively conditioned, and was provided the right vision of who we are and how the principle of creation works, it would be rooted in thoughts of empowerment, trust, well-being and love thus keeping it aligned with the vibration of life, ensuring the reflection of a physical reality of abundance and fulfillment.

      In simple words, the only reason a mind thinks thoughts against its own well-being is because of it’s “unconscious” of it’s own truth and the essence of who we are. Buddha put it very simply – “Ignorance is the root of suffering” and Jesus put it simply – “The truth shall set you free”. Both of these teachers had realized their true nature, and they also realized the all human suffering arose from the ignorance of the truth of who we are. When you forget who you are, and forget your nature as a creator, you end up living in a fear-based mindset where you feel the outside circumstances dominating your state of being. A mind that is rooted in the truth becomes very stable, and is never influenced by circustances but rather moves towards manifesting circumstances that it desires for itself. Its a fearless state of existence.

      Who we are is not matter, who we are is life energy. Matter is energy, there is no difference. Matter is just energy vibrating in a condensed manner. This energy that we are is a creator and its natural vibration is felt as peace/joy. The only time we suffer is when we move away from out natural vibraiton by identifying with thoughts rooted in fear/hatred. We have the power to manifest any reality we desire simply by believing in it and allowing it to unfold, which allows for inspired action from the body guided by the intelligence of the totality of who we are. We realize our eternalness and our oneness when the mind percieves reality in the right vision, and this perception aligns the mind with the vibration of life. A lot of awakened teachers also call it the “clear perception” of reality.
3. Samir September 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm

   Sen, thank you for your patience and your replies.
4. Jen September 11, 2011 at 3:51 pm

   The timing of this article was perfect for me- in my time zone I read it on the 9th, right when I was truly looking for guidance on how to remove my negative mindset. Ive now read many other of your recent articles on negativity and just wanted you to know that finding your site was exactly what I needed. Alot of the other things I was reading were much more simplistic and werent enough to address what has been a truly lifelong habit for me.
   Most people who know me would be surprised to hear me desribe myself as negative. Yet I know that my thoughts are predominantly so, even if I act cheerful and loving towards others. I think I’m resisting life, as you described so eloquently in another article, which was also an eye-opening concept.
5. SAT January 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

   Dear Mr, Sen..

   I was very impressed by reading your article ‘How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts?’.
   Where you have mentioned one beautiful point “it’s “your” interest or association with the thoughts that makes them obsessive.'”

   Actually I’m quite not able to relate to that point subconsciously. Please help me in resolving this issue in my case. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

   Actually I’m in a relationship with my girl few months back and of late we got engaged. She is such a nice girl and we do love each other a lot. Lately, she expressed herself about her past where she was in relationship for 4 years with her college mate and they broke up due to some issues from their parents.

   I consoled her and gave her complete moral support. But of late I started getting a thought while having intimate moments with my partner, which is something like i imagine her with her ex boyfriend, even though I don’t know anything about their romantic aspect of love making.

   I feel very hard to focus on myself because of this NEGATIVE THOUGHT keep popping in my head and sometimes am scared that I might be not giving her complete love that she deserves. This matter is very sensitive that i can’t even speak to her in this regard, which absolutely makes no sense what so ever since she is wholeheartedly accepted and committed to me.

   My head (rational assessment) knows it is unreasonable as I didn’t even know her back then, but my heart (emotional reaction) feels that she should have been only mine regardless.

   Can you please let me know, how can i tune up my mind to not to think of those stupid thoughts during our intimate moments or anytime in that matter. Also wanted to know, if these thoughts will fade away over period of time..?

   Your help is greatly appreciated. Thank You.
   1. Sen Post authorJanuary 2, 2012 at 6:23 pm

      One of the dimensions of human mind is that of hatred, and the thoughts you are having are very normal and coming from this dimension in the mind. Aspects of jealousy, possessiveness, resentment and anger come from the “hatred” dimension of the mind, and all human beings are privy to these thoughts, so you don’t have to feel bad about them. What’s required is that you understand that it’s the mind/brain that’s producing these thoughts and for a while just be fully aware of these thoughts and the feelings they produce in your body – don’t try to suppress these thoughts, and don’t try to deny them either, because these “denial” techniques never work. As you stay in an awareness of this mind movement, you will feel inspired towards insights, understanding or even actions that would help sort out this conflict in the mind.

      In a state of awareness, you can consider the following perspectives

      – She has been honest with your about her past relationship, if she wanted she could have hidden it from you, it’s indicative that she’s wants to be transparent in this relationship and she trusts your maturity.

      – On your part, you can also be transparent with her and let her know the thoughts that your mind is producing. In one sense, it’s indicative of the love that your mind feels towards her. It’s very natural for a mind to feel a sense of possessiveness in a relationship. If you are transparent with her about your thoughts, she can help clarify a few things for you.

      – You need to accept the reality of her past, she was in a 4 year long relationship and she’s bound to have some memories from it, at least for the time being. With time these memories would become faded.

      As your relationship becomes stronger, and as time progress, you would not be so bothered about her past as you are feeling now. However, it’s best to be transparent with your partner about any thoughts you have concerning her, as this helps keep the relationships honest and open, and ensures there are no misunderstandings.
6. SAT January 2, 2012 at 6:48 pm

   Thanks a lot Sen for the quick reply.

   Infect I had spoken to her about this sometime back and she clarified to me to her best as there was no such things, but I don’t wanted to dig deep in to these issues (even though I wanted to know) because I know the fact that it will hurt her a lot as she is trying to forget her past completely..!

   So, I wanted to ask you, what am I feeling currently (about jealousy) is natural behavior..? Why this physical intimacy part is bothering me even tough I don’t know about it in her past..?

   Actually, one of the concerns is when we do have intimate moments sometime.. i cannot give myself 100% towards her as this poisonous thought will be there in back of my mind or rather i can call in subconscious mind.

   I wanted to know, as time passes all these poisonous thoughts will go away from my mind..?

   Or if there is any meditation or therapy available so that i can tune up mind to normal state ASAP. Please suggest.

   Thanks for your valuable comments.
   1. Sen Post authorJanuary 2, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      Suppression techniques don’t work, and there are no therapies to shut down a thought in the mind through external influence. You need to do the inner work to be free of these thoughts, and the inner work starts with bringing your full awareness to these thoughts without being lost in them – don’t try to suppress the mind when its producing these thoughts, and allow it to fully come up with the anger or jealousy that it’s feeling, while staying as a space of awareness. When you allow these thoughts fully, you will see an understanding coming within you with respect to this subject and there will also be a maturity in your mind about it. As long as you keep trying to get “rid” of these thoughts, you will stay a prisoner to them. But when you allow these thoughts fully, in your awareness, it will start a process of understanding and maturity in you that will cause you to no longer be affected by these thoughts. You can read this post for a better understand of what it means to stay “aware” of a thought without trying to push it down and how it helps bring a maturity within – power of awareness
7. SAT January 3, 2012 at 5:23 am

   Thanks a lot for your valuable comments Mr.Sen.

   Believe me, I’ve started feeling the inner peace after going through your comments.

   I request you to suggest few articles of yours where i can strengthen my thought process and to stop assuming things which leads to some bad thoughts. Also to pump up positive energy within myself so that i can give maximum love to my beloved one.

   Thanks
   1. Sen Post authorJanuary 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

      A mature mind is the one that’s aligned fully with the reality of life and with it’s own self. When you don’t find a sense of wholeness within you it’s easy to become dependent on people/possessions for your happiness, which in turn not only makes you a prisoner to them but also causes a vibration of fear/lack within you that indirectly starts attracting some negative experiences/realities. Before you can truly express your love to someone, you need to be in love with your own self and not be too needy of someone else’s approval or love – this allows you to not be too identified with thoughts of jealousy, over-possessiveness or lack. Self-realization is about knowing yourself as this human body/mind and also knowing yourself as the life-energy that you are in essence, this understanding is what allows for a balanced and mature outlook towards life. A few posts you may find insightful are below

      let go of neediness in your relationship
      understand the oneness of life
      understand the dimensions of a human mind
      the practice of relaxed awareness
8. MB February 23, 2012 at 5:59 am

   Every month for a week I become very sensitive and have a lot of negative feelings. They just pop up. Western medicine call it premenstrual tension becouse you experience it right before your menstruation. Lots of women have it and the doctors say they can’t do nothing about it. Or they can give you some pills for mood swings. Some of the doctors says it’s the hormones that causes it. I have been reading your blog for awhile and i really like it. It makes sense. Can you by putting awarness to your negative feelings that week of the month, disolve the pms?Because I know a lot of women who blame their bad mood on the hormones. But maybe their is an underlaying negative momentum.
   1. Sen Post authorFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:48 am

      MB, Any form of “intensity” in negativity is an indication of high resistance. In the absence of a high amount of resistance it’s not possible to experience intense, or overwhelming, negative feelings. High amount of resistance is created purely by the presence of a high momentum of negative energy (created in the past). So it’s like a vicious cycle – high momentum of negative energy creates high resistance which in turn creates intense negative feelings which (if suppressed) fuel the momentum of negative energy even further or keep sustaining it. Some women have severe negativity during pms (physical and mental), some have mild negativity, some have none – this totally depends on the load of negative momentum present in their inner space already. A woman who has a low level of negative momentum present within her, would be mostly resistance-free, and the energy movements (instigated by hormonal and neuro-chemical changes), that happens in the body prior to the menstruation, happen smoothly. A woman who has a high level of negative momentum present within her, has a high amount of resistance, and the energy movements that happen in the body prior to menstruation beat up against this resistance creating feelings of fatigue, restlessness, depression and irritation. When your body space (your body’s energy field) is mostly free of resistance, you will not feel any intense feelings per se.

      The way to reduce the resistance in your inner space is to reduce the momentum of negativity within you. The only possible way to do this is to release it “consciously”. When these negative feelings arise, instead of suppressing them or fighting against them, just allow yourself to relax as much as possible and stay in a space of “allowing” – the energy within you should be one of openness to this negative energy, rather than one of fear/hatred towards it. As you stay in this space of allowing, all the past accumulated momentum of negative energy starts getting dissolved steadily because it’s no longer getting fueled by your resistance to it (resistance to negativity creates more negativity). At one point, as the momentum of negativity ebbs away to a huge extent, you will not feel such intense negativity.

      The momentum of negativity follows the laws of physics. It cannot keep re-generating on its own, it requires a “fuel” to keep recycling. The fuel for negative momentum is your “resistance” to it. The moment you release your resistance to the negative momentum in you, it no longer gets any fresh fuel, and it has to now run on the past fuel (of your past resistance) and at one point it runs out of fuel. The way to release you resistance to negative momentum is to stay as a space of relaxed “allowing” when it arises, no suppression, no techniques, no struggle against it – just a simple state of allowing what arises fully, without holding back.
9. MB February 23, 2012 at 6:34 pm

   Thank you for the answer!I try to relax and be aware of the negative feelings that arise, but sometimes its hard. Because I get lost in it and I also become afraid. Then I distract myself and I become sad because of all the negative feelings. But whenever I can relax and be aware of the negative feelings and can feel them disolve. Sometimes I feel really happy and content afterwards. Its sometimes really hard to be aware of strong negative feelings. I have been doing it for two months now. Started reading your blog in desember. I do feel lighter.
   1. Sen Post authorFebruary 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      There are two factors that determine the time frame it takes for the momentum to reduce in intensity – the momentum you’ve got going from past (it’s different for every person) and your willingness to let go of holding on to a negativity through your interest/identification/focus on it. I’ve mentioned in some posts that it can take between 6 to 8 months to feel some sense of stability coming in where you feel yourself being grounded and the intensity of negativity ebbing away to a good extent. From this place of stability it’s easier to let go of the remaining momentum. The process is challenging when a lot of suppressed negativity comes up to be released, the more open you become the more layers of negativity that can be released, one can feel overwhelmed now and then, the direct pointer is always same – relax as much as you can, by literally resting more. A lot of negativity is not just what you created for yourself, but also the load that you came in with (in one sense your inheritance, you can call it your gene pool or any other term). How the negativity got created is irrelevant, what’s relevant is releasing it now that you are conscious of it and it will take time to be released because it happens in layers (the body can’t shed all the momentum in one shot because it will create a huge imbalance).
10. simi July 11, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I hv read lot of articles of urs. And tried to use the suggestions given by you. I hv always been a negative thinker . But nw I try to tke no interest in my negative thought patterns.i am always worried about my future plz suggest something so that I will live inmy present and enjoy it to the fullest. I always think that i hv these things nw but may not remain in the future which causes a lot anxiety and tension. These thoughts are very horrible. Mu thoughtsmostly revolves around death which causes panic. From the past 4yrs i hv lived in this fear and I hv started believing in it eventhough as suggested by u tht dnt give attntion to it , I hv used this technique these thoughts keep on coming . Kindly help me .
    1. Sen Post authorJuly 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

       Simi, anything you fear will keep you shackled to it, you can’t fear something and be free of its grip at the same time. The reason why techniques fail is because the very part of you that’s using the technique is doing so out of fear, out of the motivation to get rid of a though or a feeling. The paradox is that you can’t get rid of something you are trying to get rid of, the only way you come to freedom is when you become allowing of it within you instead of trying to push it away. In you case, you need to first allow your mind to think about the future, freely, without forcing it to stay present – if you fight with your mind to make it stay present you are indirectly fueling its momentum. Also, the fear of death can only be erased when you allow this fear fully. First you need to come to a place where you can stop fearing fear itself (the feeling of it) so that you are no longer staying in a defensive place within – you can read this post don’t fear fear and why do we fear the mind, so some insights on this. Of course, loss or death is a part of life, and you can’t run away from this reality, rather you need to come to a place of freedom within you which allows you to stay open to this play of life without being so afraid of it.
11. Geoff Pickford July 14, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Hi sen, mate you are a legend! I am an alcoholic and have been abstenint from alcohol for 7 years now, after the stopping of drinking I have had depression and quite bad anxiety. I have had various counseling with psychiatrists/physiologists which have helped to some extent, read books including “the power of now”, done courses of medication to help, but nothing has quite explained things in my head quite as well and easy as the articles on your website! As a result of the anxiety I have had severe indigestion, heartburn, stomach and wind problems. After reading the articles on your website, Mentally some things have clicked and most of these problems have gone! Not to mention the energy I now have! I am self employed with staff in a very demanding industry which I feel has created a lot of anxiety and stress for me. The times these issues seam to be at there worst and I get totally lost in my mind is at work, starting work, and after work. I am praying now that I can hold this mental state of mind throughout the duration of this week! Thankyou so much for your resources and good work. Geoff Pickford
12. Sasha August 29, 2013 at 6:29 am

    Sen,
    I provocated intense feeling of hatred and anger in somebody close to me. I am saying ‘provocated’, but actually, it was based on some unresolved issues of that person. When we are moving toward wholeness, what is the purpose of this manifestation?
    I noticed recently that many people close to me going through some difficult time recently (in personal life mostlly). I can be best described as consequences of struggle-based living which is considered normal by them. I understand that everybody is on his/her journey, but it pains me to see that. Is there any way to help besides what I can do as a friend?Is it potentially a situation leading to a wake up call for some of those people?
    Thank you
13. Mac October 24, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Hi Sen

    What if you are highly aware of your negativity but cannot let it go? One of my major problems is chronic paranoid thinking\persecution complex and I have been suffering for so long (years) that these thinking patterns just go on ‘automatic mode’ and I feel totally helpless\powerless when they start up, which they do virtually every day. How do I deal with this as its a very disturbing way to live your life and makes virtually every day a struggle, sapping your energy and taking ALL the joy out of life. Can developing awareness and allowing really help with this or is other approach\therapy needed here? Please help as My life is a misery with this going on.

    Mac

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