When you consciously practice staying in a state of allowing you will be able to release the momentum of past emotions (that you may be carrying as a baggage in your being or in your physical body), and can allow your mind momentum to come to a state of balance, thus allowing you to work with thoughts more efficiently.
It also helps to see through some deluded thinking patterns that you may be holding on to, using your awareness (and reasoning ability), instead of waiting for the mind momentum to reduce through a passive state of allowing – seeing through deluded patterns of thinking will assist in you in dissolving those patterns in the mind more quickly and thus release any emotional baggage that may be associated with it also.
I always mention that the state of allowing is not a “passive” process, it’s much more efficient when you are involved actively with the process where you use the state of allowing to see through your imbalances, to see through delusions, to see through certain habits of behavior in the mind and to connect with your sense of wisdom.
At some point I used to give the pointer – “the mind is not you”, and it was just a pointer to suggest the logical truth that you are not the accumulated, or random, thinking of your mind but a “being” who has the independence to choose thoughts, to choose perspectives, to choose wisdom. Just because a thought happens in your mind doesn’t mean that you have to make it personal or that you have to take it to be true. A more well-rounded way of presenting this pointer would be to say that you have the choice to develop a balanced mind, or a balanced way of thinking, instead of saying that “the mind is not you” (and hence creating some imagination of having to fight out some imaginary enemy beyond your control). It really boils down developing a sense of awareness about the fact that you are in charge, not your accumulated thinking in the mind – you have to stop feeling so helpless to the “space of thoughts” and see thoughts for what they are, just a certain way of “perceiving” which you have the choice to change at any point. The state of allowing will help you reduce the mind momentum, and develop a strong of awareness, but this is only to aid you to develop the conscious ability to think for yourself using this awareness, instead feeling helpless to the “pre-existing” momentum of thoughts.
With respect to “ego”, I always clarify that ego is not a problem, ego (or the sense of I) is a part of self-awareness as a being, the problem is when the ego has a heavy momentum (like some form strong self-obsession) which leads to an imbalance; a strong ego-force will cause you pain because of the amount of resistance it can create every time there is a thought/situation that does not sit well with you. So the pointer is to simply work on letting go of this excess force/momentum of self-obsession, or ego-force, the pointer is not about becoming “egoless”. To try to become egoless is a form of deluded thinking. In the same way, the mind, or “thinking”, is not a problem by itself, the problem is with imbalanced forms of thinking, or deluded/unreasonable forms of thinking, which lead to imbalanced behavior, resistance to wisdom and confusion. When I talk about developing a balanced mind, I am talking about developing the capacity to think in a balanced way not only by letting go of identification with your past momentum of deluded thinking but also by developing the ability to reason, and be logical, and be willing to see reality in an objective manner.
Using your reasoning ability
You are a thinking being, you not some passive “nothingness” – it’s just that you need to bring a balance, with awareness, to the process of thinking. Conscious thinking is an ability that you need to develop as a being, the ability to think for yourself in a reasonable and logical manner, to make decisions, to make choices. A lot of people tend to start using pointers like “be surrendered”, or the state of allowing, as a means to enter into a state of passivity, about their life, which leads to an imbalance of its own, and leads to a deluded way of living.
Every pointer has a certain purpose or guidance, you need to understand the pointer for what it is without making it into a rigid protocol to live by – for example, the state of being surrendered is a pointer to relax and let go of struggling, so that you can develop some space within you for fresh thinking, for gaining access to wisdom and restoring balance in your body (removing the stress imposed by your struggle). It’s a valid and powerful pointer, but it does not mean that you let go of the faculty of thinking/reasoning altogether. The state of surrender can work towards helping you think in a clearer manner, but it should not be taken as a pointer to become a passive person. You can actually be passive for a while, and just allow your body/mind to restore its balance and energy, especially if you’ve been very imbalanced in your mindset (high mind momentum) and very struggle-oriented in the past, but it’s not a technique to employ forever, it’s just a temporary phase required for a balance to come in. Once you sense some balance coming in you would need to bring in a more active participation, in terms of thinking and making choices.
The ability to “reason” is a part of conscious thinking. You are in a better position to using your “reasoning” ability under the below conditions
– When you have a low emotional momentum which allows your reasoning to be free of emotional pressure (the emotional pressure of fear, hatred, love, sexuality or joy)
– When you’ve a clearer understanding of the physics of life-energy (like the objective presence of a light and dark nature to every reality, the oneness of life as the one energy in different forms, the law of attraction based on the fact that you attract experiences based on your inner state of being and the creative power/potential of thought)
– When you have a better understanding of yourself, as a person, as a being, with your value-system, your interests, your preferences, your dislikes and your limitations.
– When you develop the ability to be able to be more open (by connecting with your space of being) without being caught up in the mind’s momentum-based pull. This space allows you to think in a balanced manner.
– When you develop the openness to desire truth over delusion, irrespective of what the truth comes through as. The truth does, always, set you free, but it takes a certain willingness and courage to desire the truth above delusion. Delusion can give a temporary sense of security, but it’s always resting on shaky grounds.
– A willingness to stand on your authority than depend on the authority of others. To know that it’s far better to make an error based on your conscious choice/decision of thinking in a certain manner than try to find the right path by blindly following others – you can learn from your errors, and grow, but you can’t learn by blindly following someone/something without applying your ability to reason.
– The willingness to realize that truth usually lies in the “grey” areas, and if something seems “black and white” it may not necessarily represent the truth. “Black and white” form of thinking is usually rooted in rigidness and lacks the openness to allow for logical, or deeper, reasoning or wisdom.
There is a blind spot in a lot of humans towards using their reasoning ability – this blind spot is usually due to a certain fear of standing on their own authority or the fear of judgment from some higher power or just an imprisonment to emotional pressure. The very reason for the presence of a condition like OCD (obsessive thinking in a helpless manner) is because of a lack of awareness about the choice of conscious thinking and using “reasoning ability”. OCD is a condition where one blindly follows/fears a certain pattern in thinking that’s happening in their mind (whatever be the cause of it). Of course, in some people there seems to be an actual lack of capacity for “reasoning” (due to physical reasons or due to a deep unconsciousness in their being) and such a state can just be taken as one expression of life – all experiences, and state of being, have a value from an absolute perspective. However, if you have the ability to be aware of your thinking (or introspection) it means you have the ability to develop your “reasoning” capacity.
In the post – An example of allowing – there is a real-life example on how reasoning ability can work in conjunction with the state of openness/allowing to dissolve a fear.
Letting go of the attitude of being a blind follower
A part of growth, as a being, is about developing the attitude of standing on your independent thinking. Nothing original can ever come through if we only have an attitude of being a follower. Originality comes from trusting your own way of thinking. You can incorporate the wisdom you garner from outside sources, or teachers, but you also need to develop a trust in your ability to think for yourself. There was a time, when I was on the path of working on “spiritual” understanding, when I placed a lot of teachers on the pedestal, taking their teachings to be the holy grail – the teachings of “no self”, for example, was something that I accepted just because it was propounded by all the spiritual teachers, and I kept trying to incorporate what I imagined as the state of “no self” or being “egoless”. It’s only when I finally started “reasoning” these teachings that I realized the ambiguity in most of the understandings I had. I could see the escapism involved in trying to reach some state of “no self” where one is fearful of accepting the responsibility of living with a conscious choice – I could see how these teachings could easily be interpreted as some means of “passive living”. To observe reality one needs to be willing to let go of holding on to something in a rigid manner, to be aligned with reality you need to be flexible within; dependency on a technique/pointer could well be suggestive of an inner fear to be independent.
Using the faculty of reasoning I could see that a pointer like “no self” can be a means to shake a person out of over-identification with their egoic identity or self-obsession, but this pointer by itself could cause an over-identification with “selflessness” which can lead to a state of passivity or some deluded notion of spirituality. If you want passivity as an experience you are welcome to enjoy it but to me this state of “passivity” seemed like a choice that reeked of escapism rather than authenticity – it seemed as dysfunctional as the state of being over-identified with an egoic drive. In fact, I don’t see any logical sense in teachings about “no self” because they just seem to add to the delusion by creating some new imagination of some extraordinary state of reach – I would not call it a balanced teaching.
I realized that balance required a connection with your “self” while also releasing the momentum of strong self-obsession, basically what I would call a “light ego” which ensures you have space of freedom to incorporate wisdom instead of just living by your egoic-momentum alone. I could see, with reason, that a sense of self is needed for growth, for expression and for experience, which is what creates the movement of life, without a sense of self there would be no preference, no perspective and hence no creation. Every creator, including God consciousness or any evolved being, would need to have a sense of self, or self-awareness, to create. It’s just logical that self-awareness implies a sense of “I” or ego, and hence ego is not a problem itself. I also realized that desires are natural, and the problem was not with desires but with their suppression or with an imbalanced obsession or some form of deluded thinking about their extra-ordinariness (seeing only their light nature without also having a balanced awareness about their dark nature).
Exercising decisions as a conscious choice
Making decisions is sometimes the most challenging part of living, nevertheless the ability to make decisions is an important ability to develop as a part of your growth as an aware being. It’s not about putting yourself under undue pressure, but it’s also not about becoming passive and avoiding the responsibility of taking certain decisions when it’s called for. There are some decisions which your destiny, or life-force, can make for you, to give you a certain direction in your life, but there will be certain cross-roads where you will have to make your own decision based on your choice and preference. You can look at destiny as your primary schooling where you did not have the choice on the subjects you selected (but this helped you gain a certain understanding of different subjects and your preferences) until you reach a point where you need to choose your graduation course, and this is left to your choice based on the understanding that you’ve gained through your journey – someone who says there is no free-will just destiny, or someone who says there is no destiny just free-will are both suggesting a “black and white” view/thinking mostly out of a need for the security of feel certain.
It’s not that you are alone, or without guidance, because guidance is always available as a part of the intelligence of your life-stream, however you would need to make a decision based on the factors like inner-guidance and your own understanding of life and what you desire to experience. The pointer is that you can’t simply state that you are not responsible for your decisions (and that something/someone made you do it) unless you are a truly unconscious person with no iota of awareness.
The way I see it, you will be placed on the cross-roads of making decisions as a part of your growth as a being. Life has a way of orchestrating events that are required for your growth, and developing the “courage”, and self-understanding, to take decisions is part of this growth. It’s important to use your reasoning ability to make decisions rather than just allow your emotions, or delusions, to take control – however, you can always learn and grow irrespective of the decisions you make, there are no end-points, so don’t get too cautious about making decisions either. The process of weighing the light and dark nature of a reality and choosing one reality over the other is a part of using your reasoning ability – sometimes the decision making point could well be that the dark nature of one reality seems more unacceptable than the other reality, this truth is sometimes encapsulated in the saying that “change happens when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of making the change”. Understanding the dark nature and light nature possibilities of a reality is critical to certain decisions, especially some life changing decisions like whether you want to get married, whether you want to have kids, whether you want to stay with a 9 to 5 job, whether you want to quit a long-standing relationship etc, and it can also work on some far less life-changing decisions like choosing a tattoo.
You don’t have to be rigid about your decisions either. Sometimes a decision just helps you gain clarity about the decision that’s more aligned with you – this does not mean that you made the wrong decision before, it just means that you are clearer now compared to where you were before.
Some of main reasons why some people are not good at taking some “required” decisions are as below
The fear of being totally honest with yourself – To be honest with yourself requires you to allow the fear of change that can happen through the revelations that you get as you become open to wanting the truth. If your desire is to want the truth above anything else, you will always find the truth – however if your desire is to stay in a state of delusion/denial that’s exactly how you will experience your reality (for a while), but sooner or later reality does strike home simply because life is based on reality not delusion and you can’t avoid reality for long. The simple pointer is – always be willing to find out the truth, be fearless enough to know that ultimately knowing the truth is for the best and truth is what liberates confusion in essence. This willingness to always want the truth is all it takes to be privy to wisdom.
A lack of understanding about yourself – There may be several thought patterns in your mind that may be garnered from outside influence (outside conditioning) that cause you to disconnect with your own truth or personal preference. When you don’t know yourself clearly enough, you can’t know what your preferences are and how you want to live your life – your choices would seem to come more from external influence than from a place of a true inner choice. This also makes it difficult for you to take certain decisions about certain realities that you may want for yourself, and thus avoiding the commitment (in thought and action) that’s required for the reality to manifest.
A lack of understanding about the nature of life – In most cases, the reason why people fail to make good decisions is because they are not willing to accept the dark nature that a reality entails, and are focused on the light nature alone which causes them to be rooted in deluded thinking. For example, if you want a pet you should also be willing to bury it at some point when it dies, if burying a dead pet (the dark nature) feels too painful to you it’s best if you don’t buy a pet. If you buy a pet without realizing the dark nature aspects that will come with it (thus living in delusion), you will have to have to learn about its dark nature through experience and it can come as a shock or a sense of betrayal (which can act as a wake-up call too, so all experiences have their value). The more aware you are of the dark and light nature of a desire reality, the better you are at taking conscious decisions – if you want to experience a certain light nature, you should also be willing to experience the dark component that reality will bring in.
Dark nature is not “negative”, just like night is not negative, just like shadow is not negative, just like autumn is not negative, it’s just a “reality” of life (how life-energy moves), you can’t have electricity if a battery did not have a + and – terminal, the – terminal is not a negative it’s just a requirement for current to be generated. Every reality comes with a dark nature component along with light nature, it’s easier to make decisions when you are willing to understand this truth about life. You may say that it’s also easier to make decisions when one is ignorant, and that being aware of dark nature of realities can cause one to become undecided about things that they thought they wanted, but this is like saying it’s better to walk with a blindfold on. Living from ignorance has it’s own advantages but one of the biggest disadvantage is that sooner or later reality hits home, sometimes leaving you shattered out of your delusions. Conscious living can make you see through a lot of deluded thinking, and rob you of fantasies, but it ensures that you are grounded in reality and hence are not privy to rude shocks or imbalanced experiences.
The fear of failure – One of the most crippling fears that people have is about being a failure or a loser. Failure is just a perception, it’s a way of thinking – for example, I don’t look at anything as a negative or a failure, because I can see that everything has a value towards new growth, betterment and clarity. I don’t fear failure, or being labelled a loser, because such a perception holds no ground in me. I understand that I have a limited duration with this body (before it drops dead) and I am just enjoying the journey of making the most of it as suited to my conscious choice of how I want to live, and I understand that my choices will keep varying/changing as I keep living, there is no sense of holding on to a rigid mindset. What feels right for me at the moment is what I have as my guiding principle towards what I do, while accepting all the consequences of the choice. I know that in my current awareness I would never say that my choices were “wrong”, and if things don’t work out the way I imagined them I would just be open to rethink my choices from the platform I am at – I don’t have a lack mindset towards life or a sense of desperation by thinking that I am missing out on something; I understand one can’t have it all in this limited duration as this particular body and as long as I am being true to myself the results don’t matter that much. My choices come from my conscious understanding of what I would like to experience/express and after that there is no fear of failure while I am on the path because even if I don’t materialize certain choices (or end up making new choices half-way by gaining a better understanding) it wouldn’t matter as the journey is an experience by itself even if a destination is not reached.
People who are too rigid about their choices are also people who have a strong fear of failure, because they derive a very strong sense of identity from their choices (or the success of their choices). One needs to make choices based on their current understanding, of themselves and of life, but one always needs to have a sense of openness towards an evolution in thinking, towards new choices coming in, towards a better perspective coming in. Your obsession towards a particular choice should not make you imbalanced to the point of not being open to a better choice when it makes itself evident. Fear of failure is always about holding on to a narrow way of thinking about your choices or decisions, where you feel that some idea of “success” defines your worth – there is no such thing as a permanent success, life is always going to bring you a new choice/challenge to work towards, so what’s the point of associating so much importance with the notion of an end success instead of just appreciating the journey for itself? If someone calls/labels you a failure it just suggests that they have a very narrow understanding of life and it’s best that you don’t take in their perspective of you – of course, the point is to first stop looking at yourself from a narrow perspective.
How does letting go fit in with conscious living?
You may ask about how the concept of “letting go” fits in with conscious living of making conscious choices/decisions – the two look like polar opposites. The truth is that “letting go” is just a means to become open to deeper intelligence and balance, it’s not a means to become passive or to find an escape into oblivion. Words can create any form of meaning in your mind, and it’s easy to misinterpret teachings or pointers. Scientifically, you are in a better place to take decisions when you are not strained, when you are not holding on to rigid beliefs, when you are not holding onto fears – the process of “letting go” (or state of allowing) is a means to come to this plane of inner openness or inner freedom, that’s all, it’s never a pointer towards passivity in life. So in that sense, the state of allowing is not at odds with conscious living (or taking conscious decisions), rather it’s a means to create the space in you to be able to live consciously without being hampered by the unconscious momentum.
You can also ask – When I let go, shouldn’t my life-stream take care of all the decisions? When I talk about “life stream” I am not talking about some alien force that will take charge of your life for you, or move your around like a puppet on strings. When I talk about the intelligence of your life-stream it’s a pointer to the guidance, and grace, that’s available to each of us as “beings” who are aspects of life. Guidance, and grace, are an “ assistance” to your life, however that does not mean that you can give up responsibility for taking decisions when needed – remember that you are always called upon to be a “co-creator” with life and not just be a puppet who has no sense of volition. As a “being” one of your growth paths is to be able to stand on your feet, to be self-sustained in terms of being able to make your decisions, though your conscious choice, instead of living through influence. The very saying that “God helps those who help themselves” has a direct pointer to the truth that your life-stream can be way more effective towards helping you if you are willing to take some charge in your life. There may be a phase during the process of finding inner freedom, where you will feel that you are fully guided by life and it’s taking all the decisions for you, while you stay passive, but you will always reach a point (when you are stable enough) where life will look towards you to take decisions for yourself, on the choices you want to exercise, where you can no longer just allow yourself to be passive.
If you feel crippled by the momentum of your mind, or emotions, you would have to take the decision of consciously finding your space of stability by releasing this momentum – a decision to invest some time with yourself instead of simply being lost to the momentum of your current reality. To release the momentum of past accumulation through the state of allowing is a commitment by itself and requires you to make the decision to go through the process of allowing the release, accepting the dark and light nature of the process (dark nature being the discomfort, bodily and mental, that one can feel during an emotional release, and allowing the time it takes; while the light nature being the sense of inner spaciousness/wholeness that starts developing with time). You can read these post – Reducing mind momentum is the key and FAQ on the state of allowing – for more understanding of what the process of releasing emotional/mental momentum involves. Gaining a clear understanding about the dynamics of the process of release allows you to have access to “reasoning” and thus you would not be privy to falling for unreasonable or deluded thoughts while you are in the midst of a release.
During the phase of release it’s quite normal to feel a bit “passive” in life, and in one sense it’s needed to be passive for a while to allow some balance to come in to your past movement/momentum of strain and struggle. It’s a conscious decision to let go of struggle, to let go of being pulled around by your mind/emotional momentum, and find more connection with your space of being – this phase is needed for an inner balance. However, once you do sense inner balance coming in, you will feel a different movement taking over which is a movement towards a return of focus, a movement towards taking up the responsibility of conscious living – it’s important to understand that the dynamics of conscious living may be very different from the dynamics of the phase of release/letting-go (where you were allowed to be more passive). Even during the phase of release, though I use the term “passive”, I know it’s not a passive process, it takes a real commitment to stay with the conscious allowing of the release of past momentum of mind/emotion – when I say “passive” I just mean that you may not be too motivated to be involved in many external activities/involvements for a while as you are more involved with your “inner work”. To do this inner work is not “easy” neither is it passive in the sense of being without conscious volition – it has its challenges and it does take up your energy while you are in the process. When you are done with a good part of release, you are in stable position to venture on the path of conscious living, allowing the challenges that it involves.
Conscious living calls upon developing your aspects of self-understanding, making choices towards experiences that you desire, making choices towards expressions that you want to contribute (or work on), making decisions and taking responsibility for them, and being a co-creator with life in that sense. In this blog, there are some posts which deal purely with the phase of release (or letting go) and there are some posts (like this one) which deal with the dynamics of conscious living from a place of stability that comes from the phase of release. So, you may sense a conflict between pointers relating to the phase of release (letting go) and pointers relating to conscious living, they seem like opposites, however when you see the pointers in their entirety you realize that they point towards balanced living aligned with reality.
Dear Sen
I find very interesting the majority of your articles leading to a human wisdom.
I believe also that cannot escape from the deluded thinking and become your real being without practicing of self compassion and self kindness .
Reading a lot of articles and theories does not mean freedom and well being without daily practice and mind training same as body training does.
Thank you a lot for all your efforts to help people to see and feel better.
You cannot find freedom through gaining wisdom and practicing it. True freedom is being free from the pull of your mind (ego force) in unconcious
manner.
Practicing compassion kindness etc. Is a
force and suppresing action of your
natural expression
because it acts as a
mind/ego force directive and
task to do in order
to feel good/happy of
yourself and to others As means of
self achievement in
outside/external
basis.
Hope you are doing great. I really loved your article. Thank you for explaining what I have “felt” for many years but finally someone was able to explain it to me in words that I would not have been able to figure out myself. Your articles are like little keys that open into a beautiful garden. I hope that you know you have made someone’s day a lot brighter!
Hi Sen,
As i have wrote before i have a fear of some type of disease and i get fed up from the illogical negative thoughts from the time i get up.
u wrote that i will not be healed till i try to understand something from just reading something i have to develop such attitude from within… but it is very difficult to develop such attitude everytime….i can remain in the state of allowing for just few minutes and not for the whole day…i dont understand why so..
plz reply..
Priyanka, you don’t have to stay in a state of allowing the whole day. At some point it will just feel like your second nature, but for now just work on the practice of staying in a state of openness/allowing when you have some “alone” time (when you are alone with yourself without outside distractions). All these thoughts to arise, allow the feeling of fear, allow the desire for solution, allow any form of irritation or hatred that you feel towards these thoughts – just be in a state of total openness to everything that comes up naturally. This state of allowing will cause the release of mind/emotional momentum associated with these thoughts, but more importantly it will open you up towards inner wisdom – you may feel guided towards gaining an understanding that helps you become free of a certain limited (delusional) way of thinking, you may get some insights from within or from outside that can assist you in gaining a better perspective on the thoughts that are bothering you or you may just see through the unconscious pull of such thoughts.
You need to realize that fear fuels fear, so when you a fear a certain thought you automatically fuel it with your fear. The state of allowing is about allowing the fear instead of fearing it. Some people have a fear that if they allow a thought then it will manifest and so they stay fearful, trying to suppress these thoughts, which only adds to the momentum of these thoughts causing it to become more and more intense (which is a recipe of negativity). Allowing a fearful thought does not manifest it, rather it dissolves the momentum of the thoughts and brings a balanced perspective.
Thanks sen for guiding me through this. I will totally follow your advise.
thank you
“The simple pointer is – always be willing to find out the truth, be fearless enough to know that ultimately knowing the truth is for the best and truth is what liberates confusion in essence.”
Kind of confused with the term ‘truth’ here..
Do you mean the truth as in what I ultimately want to experience in this life – joy? What feels true to me and harmonious/balanced? Instead of getting lost in the deluded/fearful thoughts in me?
J, the desire for truth is the desire for connecting with reality as opposed to wanting the temporary relief of delusion. It takes an openness to desire truth above just wanting the convenience of an assuring delusion, or even a temporary assurance. For example, when you are in a relationship you may try to avoid facing a certain reality about the relationship from the fear that facing the reality would cause you to go through the pain of change (or cause you to face some fear, like having to break up) – there are many relationships which run purely on the fuel of denial, where one is not willing to accept that it has come to an end. Another example would be that sometimes we don’t wish to see certain natures in our mind (possibly some dark nature aspect) like some aspect related to sexuality, or some part of our personality, or getting to terms with our brain’s aptitude, and keep trying to suppress facing the truth in it – this suppression keeps us in fear, but we keep suppressing ourselves from facing the truth because we fear that facing the truth would cause something negative to happen. There are people who stay stuck in a job that they don’t like, which saps their energy everyday, without ever wanting to face the truth that they are not made for that job. Avoiding a truth is far more painful than dealing with the truth, aligning with the truth and progressing from there – true growth can’t happen unless one first seeks the foundation of wanting the truth of a situation above anything else.
Sometimes it’s very normal to not be able to find the truth in a situation, because we don’t enough understanding or clarity. However, if we simply stay in the attitude of openness, with an authentic desire for wanting the truth, the clarity is bound to come in, the understanding of reality does come in. In my own case, when I started on the journey of wanting to understand life I was very clear that I did not want to just hold on to what feels “convenient” for me, rather I wanted to know the truth about life even if it was uncomfortable or if shattered all my perspectives/beliefs/securities – what I see is that when one has this form of openness one does become totally privy to the wisdom of life and becomes receptive to seeing reality as it is and thus be able to see truth in every situation.
Sen, for these couple of weeks I’ve been able to watch my inner reaction to some events/people’s attitudes I thought I’d outgrown.
What I’m trying to say is, I feel like I’m being open and allowing of what arises, but at the same time, there are patterns of repetition in my mind (as reactions) which do not go away and whenever I believe I’ve allowed something to come to a resolution, it pops up in life from another angle.
I know this doesn’t mean I’m regressing, but I generally feel like I need to figure things out, because otherwise the same scenarios will continue. It’s like I’m faced with the notion that my mind compares me with people often, and often brings me down (telling me I’m not AS successful, not AS developed as a person and focusing me on evidence that prove it). This makes it hard just to stay open and know that it will pass eventually. Feels like I’m just going frequently into depressing states of mind, and in order not to suppress, I stay in those states, I allow them to be. I wonder if I’m not making myself depressed, like an addiction to problems, just to feel like I’m doing something about them. These days, when I get up and I’m not in a good mood, I find a problem related to it, or a thought that has got me down before, and I become conscious of its patterns. But isn’t this only masochism? Does it really cleanse me inside? I do so, in order not to suppress. But it can also be a trick of the mind to succumb me to unnecessary thinking.
….and I realized that my Ego is at work for the time being (really strong) and it wants me to be appreciated/liked/recognized, and gets me down for stupid reasons. But right now I can’t believe many positive things that have happened to me. It feels like I have this deep seated conviction in me, that a person lives in illusion if he/she feels positive most of the time. It’s like I put negativity onto myself (terrible this is!), only to feel like I’m balancing reality. In other words, whenever I feel really good, my mind comes up with a problem I need to become conscious of, so that I’m balanced. This sucks big time 😀 I’m a masochist, it seems. I just can’t accept that I’m happy, when I’m happy. Like there HAS to be a problem, so that I am a REALIST. Phew.
Wynone, I’ve mentioned this in quite a few posts that the “state of allowing” is not meant to be taken as a “passive process” (which is when people look at it as some magical technique that’s supposed to do all the work for them). The state of allowing releases “emotional momentum” and it allows you to be become open to all forms of thinking that’s going on in your mind (initially surface-level thinking and then deeper and deeper layers of thinking, also called thinking that was previous unconscious/subconscious in you). When all these “thoughts” come up you need to be in a state of allowing to have some space from being totally lost to the thoughts, and also to be open to the thoughts – the unconscious reaction to some “negative” thoughts is that people immediately close down or they immediately try to “get to relief” by applying to quick fix on it or they just become totally identified with it and keep refueling it. The state of allowing is about consciously “working with thoughts”
1. allow the thoughts instead of suppress them, also let go of being totally identified with them
2. observe the thoughts (which are disturbing you) and clearly see their pattern, be objective in observing their “perspective”, their reasoning, their conclusions, their references and their “origins” in terms of what’s at the foundation of these thoughts (usually it would be some belief, some outlook, some conditioning etc).
3. don’t be in haste to solve the thoughts, be relaxed, and make yourself open to receiving “wisdom” to be able to bring a “balanced” perspective. To be open to wisdom you need to be open to “intelligence” which can come in the form of reasoning, analysis, gaining new knowledge, inspired insight or an external guidance. If you are in a state of allowing you will be privy to wisdom, but you have to be willing to work with the “wisdom” (this is where you need to stop being “passive”, and realize that your involvement is needed, that you have to be active with this process) – for example, you have to be open to “balanced” reasoning, instead of saying “I am not supposed to reason out because that’s not allowing” (when you think this way, you are not truly allowing, rather you are trying to execute some technique of just blinding doing something that you imagine is “letting go”, and this is when you end up into the “mind trick” of making everything into a black and white technique), a wisdom based reasoning can arise naturally as an inspiration in you when you are in a state of allowing.
The third point is important, and it was the crux of this post, that you have to be open to working with “reasoning” – people who sit in meditation for years together without finding “enlightenment” (which is just a balanced understanding of life) are the one’s who keep pushing away “thoughts” (including the thoughts which arise as a part of intelligence/wisdom), so they are just doing a “blind technique” which they think will get them to some fascinated imagination they have about enlightenment (in fact most of them don’t even bother asking “what is enlightenment”, it’s like they are chasing something without knowing what they are chasing, so how will they even know when even if they find it? logically it’s just plain unreasonable, and yet they never take the time to reason out). We are “thinking beings”, and a part of wholeness is to have a wholeness-based thinking, to have a clearer understanding of life – wholeness is not just a “state of being” it’s also an “aligned way of thinking”. People who miss the part about “aligning their thinking” never find wholeness even if they release all their “emotional momentum”, because they don’t have wholeness in their thinking.
When I talk to people I don’t just tell them to “let go and allow”, I also reason out certain thoughts that they may have, I give them certain understandings that they may lack (like if someone is imbalanced towards light nature I would give them the reason why such a thinking leads to the attraction of imbalanced realities and psychological suffering, and give them an understanding on what balance means in terms of integrating light and dark nature). To just tell a person – “let go, everything will pass” is ridiculous because most people would need an understanding of what “letting go” does before they are even willing to try it, and secondly one needs to be given a clear understanding that what it entails so that there is no confusion. Just to know that a state of allowing does not exclude using “reasoning”, or allowing reasoning, is an important pointer which a lot of teachings seem to miss and it leaves a person confused on whether he/she should “think things out” or just be “passive”. The pointer is to not “struggle with thinking”, its about allowing the confusion, and being allowing of understanding/wisdom to arise in the form of reasoning, guidance or insight, and sometimes you have to follow the inspiration to reason out things from a place of awareness. The state of allowing is not meant to be made into some “crutch” that you use to let go of conscious involvement with life, to let go of your faculties of reasoning – in fact the more aware you become the better you should get at reasoning in a reality-based manner and seeing through delusions. So initially it may feel like wisdom comes from within (or you feel guided towards some external source of wisdom/guidance), but with time you realize that you are aware enough to make choices on your own and execute your “personal wisdom” based on your awareness of life – this is what it means on stand on your own shoes. Eventually this journey will take you towards self-sustenance, a deep sense of independence and conscious choice.
Just to take an example, if you consider this thought about “Am I successful” or rather “I am not successful, there is no evidence of my success”. If I had such a thought, I would allow it and consider its dynamics objectively. I am at a place where I can work with thoughts instead of just allowing their momentum to “reduce” – initially when I was not at this place of inner stability I would just allow thoughts in a state of relaxed awareness to reduce mind momentum. So, if you have a high mind momentum, you would need to work on reducing the mind momentum through working on relaxed awareness (just allowing without trying to sort out thoughts from a place of fear of the thoughts, or discomfort of them), and you can also work with “reasoning” from your awareness and from being in touch with your “being” (and thus be privy to inner wisdom also that will aid your reasoning). I gave an example of this form of allowing and reasoning in this post – an example of dissolving fear
Remember that the state of allowing is needed to release “emotional momentum”, however you can use reasoning to dissolve certain patterns of thinking (deluded thinking) which can expedite the release of negativity. The way I would use reasoning with this thought would be as below
“1. What is success? 2. Is it a permanent state? 3. Can I ever reach a point where I feel fully successful, if so what would such a reality look like?
Through reasoning I would come to the following answers – 1. success is a label for “achievement” of some personal standards I desire to accomplish 2. Success can’t be a permanent state of being because no matter what I achieve there will be something more that I would like to grow towards, so success is a never ending pursuit, but it’s also a natural pursuit because I realize that I can never suppress myself from desiring growth 3. Yeah I can reach a point of achieving certain personal standard that I desire as of now, and when I achieve them I will be feel fully success of their achievement, of course I will have new personal standards/desires/growth-requirements by then and will have to move towards achieving their success.
1. Is it normal to feel inferior when I have a desire for meeting a personal standard but find myself currently lacking in those areas?
2. Am I being a masochist by constantly baiting myself up for new standards of growth, never feeling content and always looking down on myself?
Through reasoning I would come to the following answers – 1. Yeah it’s totally normal to feel inferior when a certain personal standard is desired but not yet achieved, and this feeling of inferiority/lack by itself is the motivation for the growth, so there is nothing wrong with it. However I need to realize that inferiority by itself would serve no purpose if I just use inferiority to feel bad about myself and stay stuck in thinking in an inferior way. The feeling of inferiority would need to be used as an indication/motivation for moving towards a certain growth instead of being used as a means to wallow in self-pity, bitterness or victim-mentality. 2. Yeah, if I am constantly trying to beat myself up with thoughts of inferiority purely as a “habit of thinking” or as an “attitude”, then I am being a masochist who is getting a sad pleasure out the mindset of negativity. There is nothing wrong with being such a masochist (as an experience) if I am truly enjoying it (some people do enjoy pain and it’s an experience). But since I don’t really want this experience of being a masochist I need to break this pattern of thinking/reacting. I need to stop using inferiority as a means to feel bad and start using it as the motivation to grow.
The above is just a basic example of how reasoning can break through certain deluded/limited/confused/unreasonable forms of thinking and thus free up your energy, and it can also allow a quicker dissolution of certain habitual patterns of negativity.
As for your question about guiding other people, the truth is that different people are at different levels of awareness and growth, and would respond to guidance that resonates with their level of awareness/growth, if you try to teach a 2nd grader about physics of aerodynamics you would leave him feeling totally clueless. For some people numerology and astrology would be what works as a “guiding principle”, for some people religion works as a guiding principle, for some people a certain rigid spirituality works as a guiding principle whereas for some deeper understanding is what resonates. So, you have to let go of thinking that there is “one right thing” for everyone, or “one right way to life” or “one solution that fits all” – the best you can do is to provide guidance from your place of awareness and wisdom, that’s all, the rest is not up to you.
I realized something else as well. The main reason for me to want to find out which concepts I can trust, and which ones I can not trust, resides in the fact that I’m going to be helping people with some concepts, and I don’t want to lead them on.
That’s why I feel so uneasy that I see truth in astrology and numerology, but at the same time I can’t be sure of their validity.
How can you have inner freedom, when you know your help will inevitably depend on the understanding of concepts? can you really choose which ones are truthful to be externalized and shared?
I don’t want to be a preacher of lies, that’s why I ask myself questions, as to what extent can we trust astrology, numerology and other esoteric subjects, as well as psychology in that matter.
Astrology, psychology, numerology, all are rubbish when used by an ego to meet its own ends (for example, to satisfy a superiority complex); On the other hand, all can hold truth when used for honest self-reflection. As Sen points out, people will react differently to different tools depending on their awareness.
Psychology concepts that began as observed patterns have been studied so much that the forest may be missed for the trees. Some religious stories are built upon truth, but have been changed to suit the ends of the institution. Astrology is observable, but is best known for fictional horoscopes. All have been moulded by many egos over time into something different. But when one opens up, the truth within can be found. Aha, one says, that bit about __ is actually telling me __.
If you don’t know how one can trust a certain topic, it may be too soon to teach it. If it is truth and you see it, there is no doubt. If it is falsehood and you see it, there is no doubt. If you don’t see it for what it is, don’t teach it. Your self-doubt may be the very thing that keeps clarity at bay. Grow beyond that and the rest may fall into place.
Wynone,
Very good question. I always liked astrology and tarot and I believed they helped me to increase my awareness, and I guess this is “light” side of astrology and tarot, they can help you to think about yourself, who you are, what are your inclinations, your imbalances etc. The dark side of tarot and astrology is they can also be used in a way that can strengthen fear-based thoughts and deluded thinking. Many times in my life, I resorted to astrology and tarot to seek some kind of assurance from the cards and the stars. Now, I think they can operate like fear-based systems and I know from myself that one can easily cling to them in search of security. I believe that they are useful to gain understanding but they might be harmful if they are used for future predictions. In the past, I was using them freely, but now I don’t think I need them since I have finally embraced the uncertainty that future will bring, yet I can’t deny that they helped me a lot to figure out my inner conflicts and struggles. To me it’s not a matter of whether they are valid and can be trusted, but it doesn’t feel right to me to cling any thought or belief systems. Thanks to Sen’s writings, I recently realized that I don’t need any conceptual framework or a code anymore. Throughout my life, I have searched for a truth and a kind of structure, now after connecting with my inner self, I realized that life is so beautifully free and flowing that no systems can be truly valid since they are closed.
Because this article with following comments is about the core matter of dealing with negative and unpleasant thinking mostly irrational -obsessive. I am obliged to add from my personal experience that I found out that together with the total allowance, accepting thoughts and emotions and recognizing them, we need the help of a ” mental injection” of kindness and compassion. This will allow people who need manually to be in a state of allowance ( because in others it happens in a auto mode!) to strengthen their efforts taking a mental power against the habit of their mind to be trapped . Also as they observe and allow the negative thoughts and fear, they will “enjoy” the possitive thoughts and feelings of kindness and compassion that arise, allowing them to flow in and slowly to replace the negativeness
Greeting, Sen and all
I’m wondering about the conception of karma or divine retribution. Do you feel that they too could be observed as a form of deluded thinking? For example, when I first became aware of the potential for personal growth I had to overcome a good deal of emotional/mental upheaval. Additionally, I had to uproot my thoroughly conditioned way of thinking, especially in respects to the way we are divinely judged (or my perception of it, rather). Spiritually, I was shifting from my childhood religion to freethinking adolescence and embracing my repressed (homo)sexuality.
I felt so much more peaceful when I let go of the belief that my actions were being harshly scrutinized. I disowned the idea of sin and adopted the logic of karma; all life is interconnected and we must be responsible for our actions for the sake of (supposed) societal harmony. Although, I wonder sometimes if I just traded “God’s” punishment for my own brand of divine justice. Is it possible that the momentum (both positive and negative) of the conception of divine retribution is what manifested outcomes in ones life? If one invests energy into the thought that they will be punished or rewarded by the universe is that what comes to pass?
For me it seems as that karma is another from externalized thinking in which one bases the probability of their happiness on something outside of themselves. What I really want to know is what should truly guide our actions. If we are to rise above deluded thinking then what constitutes the wisdom of right action in a person with absolute freedom?
Cypress, maybe I can shed some clarity on this for you in a roundabout way. Firstly, karma is a word that has broad meanings. Now it is a common term being applied in various ways by different people, some of whom imprint their own religious/spiritual views upon it. “Karma” as punishment or reward by a god is “karma” with a judeo-christian flavour. This, I think, is where the confusion starts.
The core meaning of karma seems best stated in english as ‘reap what you sow.’ There is no judgement by some being, no punishment for bad choices, no reward for good ones. Rather, your choices naturally lead to some future condition of life. Your actions, words, and choices are the seeds; the effect those have on you, the world, and those around you are the fruits of your deeds.
I find this compatible with what Sen writes because he describes the same thing in a different way. The seeds of one’s deeds are the same; the fruit of these is mind momentum. In both views, the process is essentially the same. Mind momentum is a record of our imbalances; karma is also a record of our imbalances. Different words to describe the same thing. To allow and release your mind momentum (or to balance your karma), you must experience the feelings that relate to whatever it is.
Cypress – simply put, Karma is the balancing principle. When you experience an imabalance, it is the principle of nature that responds by attempting to restore balance. It does this by creating factors and conditions which challenge or accentuate the imbalances you are experiencing. It is an energetic aspect of Consciousness that manifests as material realities.
You experience karma on many levels – from the microscopic to the macroscopic. After all, if you remove the exotic connotations that the word has, it is easy to see that everything that exists is subject to the laws of equilibrium. Electrons experience karma, the cells and microbes in your body experience karma, you experience karma, your nation experiences its own collective karma, our human species experiences karma, the Earth experiences karma, our solar system and so on. From level to level there are karmic influences, balancing principles at work that affect you in ways you cannot imagine.
It is misleading to try and analyze your karmic blueprint by drawing conclusions from the events in your life. While it is true that the probability of you having a more hassle-free existence if you are more balanced internally are high, there are balancing principles that are still operating on levels that have nothing to do with you and still impact you. When thousands of lives are lost in a tsunami it would be ludicrous to say all those individuals were equally karmically imabalanced.
The reality is that you can never predict the outcomes of the balancing principle of karma, but you can align with it. When you become centered in yourself, present in this moment and aware of the dynamics within your own universe, you will begin to sense the pulse of the karma, its rhythms and beats. How they manifest materially is really of no concern other than how you will deal with them practically as they come. As for some overarching grand meaning they have, don’t trouble yourself because there isn’t one.
What constitues right action for a person who is balanced is what constitutes right action for an electron, a cell, a nation, a planet, a galaxy – equilibrium. The context and the details are irrelevant.
See the need for balance, find your balance point, balance.
All other overlays of interpretation like right-wrong, good-evil, sin-forgiveness, responsible-irresposible are fiction.
Hi Sen,
Congrats for your wonderful site.
I would like to ask few things and explain you my case. I´m dealing
with obsessive thoughts around 10 years. Explaining you briefly, i had
a depression when i was a teenager, i was 14 years old. It lasted 2
years old. Then more late, the obsessive thoughts arrived in my brain,
like a mine attempt to solve all the past, or trying to get a insight
about the reasons of my depression. One of the subjects that still
remain till today, is about football (soccer). It´s and it was always
on the top. I did therapy some years ago, cognitive behaviour, and the
results were good. However i learned to avoid the thoughts, saying
always to me ( this are obsessive thoughts, stop) and repeating
constantly in my mind. But i always felt that it was unnatural
proceeding by this way, and somehow i become obsessive too in control
and pushing the thoughts away.
Some few months ago, i ´ve learned new ways of dealing with
thoughts. I found mindfulness and learn about. I find your site too
that teached too how to deal with thoughts. Anyway sometimes i found
trouble to put mindfulness on practice in my daily life. In the effort
to put mindfulness on daily practice my obsessive toughts now become
more related about how should i have to control, i´m trying to focus
to hard and sometimes i feel unnatural. On the one hand, i can feel
the release of trying to stay only with feelings ,(even theyre bad),
and then trying to put my focus on breathing. I do constantly and i
wake up every morning doing that. On the other hand, im so desperate
on doing by the right way, that i build fear inside of me, and that
same fear lead me to anxiety, even i´m not thinking in distressfuls
thoughts. I want to say that is mainly related with a event that my
anxiety turns on. The trigger is the issue about football.I tought
many years about this issue. I played this sport when child and i
associated this in my obsessive thoughts as a big reason to my
depression. I thought so many years about this with the hope that i
would “solve” this issue in miy mind. the fact is that i never solved,
and i won´t solve , i know that. Nowaday, i can live the most part of
the day without obsessive thoughts, with mindfulness techniques. But
im always living with fear, because this sport is very popular in my
country and i hear everywhere, what causes me bad feeling, and will to
start thinking. Or when i´m seeing a game i have the tendency to feel
uncomfortable, and worry about. Then i put the mindfulness techniques
on practice , but sometimes sound a bit forced. What is funny, is that
sometimes i´m predicting for example, i think: “how it will be when i
will see the game tonight”, “how i should control”, but then when i
see the game, sometimes nothing occurs and i can control very well. It
depends..i think that lead me more to anxiety the issue of fear” how i
should control” or “what i have to do” than, properly the subject of
football. I dont believe that i´m traumatized directly with the
question, but i act like that because of my fear of obsessive thoughts
because i thinked of that many years constantly.
What do you think? should i avoid the topic of football, and trying
not to see a game, to not start my feelings all over again. Should i
mantain a distance, or should i face the problem, and staying with the
anxiety using the techniques?
Please Sen, little help needed please 🙂
Thanks !!
P.S.Sorry about my weak English, it was difficult to me express myself
as i´m not native from English countries.
Filipe, right now you have a feeling of helplessness towards your own mind (brain momentum as well as thinking in your own being), and way towards coming to a place of inner power is consciously work on letting go of identification with the pull of this momentum. When you say being aware feels “unnatural” to you, it’s like a drug addict saying that living without the drugs feels unnatural – it’s just that you’ve entered a habit of being powerless towards your mind, or rather being addicted to your mind. You would have to work on the practice of relaxed awareness and gradually connect with the state of allowing – for example, you can simply be aware of these thoughts in your mind, allow them to be, without needing the extra involvement to react/respond to these thoughts in the form of action, even if the pull is strong just ride it out with your awareness. This is how you will continue to build the capacity for awareness and openness towards allowing without identification.
Hey Sen,
In another post, you wrote that in the “state of allowing” one must be okay with sometimes “not knowing”. You brought up the fatal disease example, and being okay with not knowing the answer to a question in your mind. e.g. Being okay with not knowing whether or not you have a fatal disease. Isn’t this the opposite of searching for the truth? Because if we are completely allowing of not knowing, we will have no desire to search for the truth. Or, did you mean this in the sense that we must completely allow the unpredictability and uncertainty of life (because sometimes we stress over the future and things we can’t control), but at the same time use the “state of allowing” to help us search for the truth for things in which there ARE definitive answers?
Thank you
Benjamin, that’s right, one has to be allowing of the uncertainty and the unknown, and from this attitude comes the openness to truly see through deluded thinking, that’s the paradox – the right understanding comes in when you are no longer seeking that understanding from a place of fear
Dear Sen, in response to Benjamin question. I also have a question. How do you see the unknown in the past?My mind has the tendency to try to figuring out the past events about my partner. I have talked to my partner about this, and she told me almost everything I guess, and my mind is still trying to figure it out while adding doubts, negative thoughts on the process. I could get restless, agitated, anxiety, scared only by thinking that unknown is okay or past is past, it cant change the now, or even when i am trying to ignore it, i still feel those negative feelings. How do I dissolve this fear of unknown in the past and curiousity?
Mark, the basic cause of your anxiety is that you want to seek your sense of assurance from the outside, and in reality this is just not possible for a simple reason that you cannot control the outside or be “certain” about the outside. The only thing you can ever be certain about is your sense of inner freedom because it’s not dependent on anything but you – eventually the only person you can be certain about is you, everything outside you is beyond your control and beyond your “full” knowing, you can only “assume” about the outside or make some objective perceptions – the more aware/open (with inner freedom) you are the more objective (non-deluded) will be your perception. The moment you add a condition to your inner freedom, you become a prisoner towards the outside. Your condition to feel “re-assured” is that your partner should have a past free of any serious relationship, or without any “adventurous” or kinky relationships. In truth, no matter how much you try to convince yourself (or she tries to convince you) about your partner’s past, you can never be free of this “worry”, simply because you can never be “certain” – as I mentioned before you can never be certain about the outside.
It boils down to finding inner freedom, which boils down to finding freedom from the mind/emotions so that they don’t dictate your sense of wholeness. From this place of wholeness/freedom you can operate from wisdom and objectivity, you don’t try to seek your security from asking assurance from the outside, you make objective choices based on your wisdom and awareness, for example, if you feel that you don’t have a real connection with your gf, or if you find something about your gf that doesn’t sit with your preference of the kind of girl you want in a relationship, you will just break-off (you will not sit asking her for an explanation of her past or asking her to change herself for you). Your actions would just come from a real objectivity and clear/unbiased perception because you are operating from the foundation of inner freedom/openness instead of operating from an imbalance of fear.
Thank you Sen, i realize that i am clinging to this outside assurance. I have to consciously let go of this belief. Thanks a lot Sen
Hello Sen,
Just clearing something up. So, this state of allowing is not a place where we refuse to “answer” our mind’s questions. It’s just that we do not JUMP in or immediately react to our mind’s questions, rather just observe the question, let it be for a bit. And then, we can start reasoning/thinking things out, in order to find the answer to our mind’s question. And of course, some bogus questions we can just let be and not find an answer – we just follow our intuition on which questions to think out and answer, which questions to let be?
Thank you Sen
Sen, do I understand correctly (out of your articles and my experience) – there is a 2 forces which blocks us from presence, life, wholeness:
1) mind momentum (emotional and intellectual) – just habitual processes, accumulated energy and trained neural pathways
2) personal will – the force which always wants something more, seeks some satisfaction and unordinariness, fears something, etc.
From what I’ve experienced, it seems to me that exactly the personal will is the “primary drive”, which has to be switched off, because momentum is just built on top of it; momentum is like mind’s surface phenomenon, while personal will is the “hidden” engine which has created the momentum and, by wanting to get away from it (as part of it’s natural habit to avoid the unpleasant things), just keeps focusing on it…
So, my conclusion – we can even not bother much about mind momentum, but rather go directly to the personal will. If mind momentum subsides, it still doesn’t mean that personal will disappears, no, it can still operate and build a new momentum soon. But, when we switch off personal will, then, of course, no momentum will be created again, and the current one will vanish VERY fast (I’ve experienced most incredible results when, for a few times, I ‘ve managed to REALLY not wish anything).
Do you agree with me so far?
And then comes the “million dollar question”: HOW TO SWITCH OFF THE PERSONAL WILL?
Really, how it’s even possible when it includes a paradox: the wish to be free of all wishes is yet another wish… So, we shouldn’t wish to be free of personal will – it’s apparently impossible because such a wish would be act of personal will… Then what else can we do? Of course, nothing. But how to do nothing? How to just let be? It can’t be done, right? We can’t DO something to DO nothing 🙂
But still… personal will wants to ask again and again: How can I be free of myself? Few times that has happened for some period of time (even for a day), but the personal will has always found a backdoors to return. As soon as I’ve started to feel light and carefree, the personal will has took the wheel back in it’s hands… Sometimes maybe with the help of provocation of mind momentum, sometimes by itself, by feeling: “Wow, now I’m finally free, now I can get happiness at last!” – and it all starts again.
Maybe you have some pointer – how to overcome the paradox of “wanting to not wanting”, and when it’s happened, how to not let the personal will to return through “backdoors”?
Hello, i am a little senti person.. having grown up in a spiritual family i had lot of spiritual believes ..i was one person who could soo easily believe others and on the other side i am very rigid about letting go of : any of my beliefs . Here i wish to share how my life changed with an small example of these three movie’s .. i liked a movie called ” Kung Fu Panda _ part 1″ and the chemistry between the Master Shefu and Panda .. and there journey towards bringing ‘ Peace to there valley’ seemed amazing .. during these times i used to live life with such fantasizes ..loved to built such beautiful stories around me.. then very recently i saw a english movie ” The Matrix – part1″ which is more on intellectual level .. it turned the world around me.. and gave altogether different perspective about the inner life we live and the external world reality… there were glimpses of Light shed on me about: what ONENESS means .. and some of my delusion started to dissolve .. and then very recently
“Life of pie ” an Oscar awarded movie .. in which ..he tells ” will make you believe in God” .. the last section especially was heart throbbing .. A must watch movie !!
Sen i know, you would be wondering why am i writing reviews about all these movies on your blog…. its just that i wanted to share my experience to every one here.. in the form of how these three different movies with same MOTO of finding ” the truth ” or say ” inner peace ” have three different version of seeing through deluded thinking.. I know i would fail to explain, if i choose to.. about how i came through this narrow tunnel of seeing life with deluded LENS.. but the differentiation these movies can give ..and there narration can definitely impact the perception and can also help other’s shift there perspective .. so i taught of sharing it here on your blog..
And your help has been Eternal throughout my journey.. Love your Blog..
Thanks Sen : )
This blog has opened up a new perspective on releasing for me. I have up till now just merged the negative thoughts and emotions with my wholeness, without really trying to align my thinking, believing that it would come to me after the momentum and accumulation had ebbed away. Now I’ve been more open to light thoughts coming up when dark ones do, though I am not putting the light thought on top of the dark thought, like a bolder over a geyser, but I allow them to meet. Neither am I forcing the light thoughts to come up, but they seem to just come up in answer to the dark ones naturally. Sometimes its not even a whole thought, but the vibration of a thought (which if I remember you saying once, is more important), which neutralizes the dark thought well enough. Usually they are some kind of reasoning thought, for example:
“Why does this thing keep happening again and again? I’m so tired of it!”
“Well, it doesn’t really matter anymore, and you don’t have to care anymore.”
This doesn’t really come from a need to figure things out, or fix things, its more of the new attitude that came to me recently, an deeper understanding that I do not need to serve my mind if it does not work with me.
… I do have a question though, not for any specific reason, but just for curiosity. Maybe you put this in other posts but I did not find them. You said that after the momentum ebbs away and you align, that nothing can grip you emotionally. I was watching a rather dark show recently, one of the stories involving a mutilated torture victim who becomes frightened at the smallest thing and developed stockholm syndrome to his sadistic tormenter. Is it possible that even this sort of thing cannot develop under these extreme circumstances in someone who has developed inner wholeness?