You cannot get “rid” of a fear, you can only become “okay” with a fear – when you become okay with a fear, you’ve overcome that fear. If you seek to get rid of a fear you will be entrapped in that fear in some way or the other. Once you accept this simple truth that you can’t get rid of a fear, you are already working in alignment with reality and hence have a better chance of finding balance/freedom. To become “okay” with a fear is not a technique, it’s not some positive affirmation deal, it’s not a pointer to try and convince yourself about the okay-ness of a fear, it’s actually about the openness to let the fear be, to allow it fully as a thought and a feeling, until you are okay with its presence knowing that fear is an aspect of life.
It’s important to understand the logic behind how the state of conscious allowing brings you to freedom. To understand the logic you would first need to understand what “freedom” really means. Most people have a highly deluded idea about what freedom means – for most people the idea of freedom is to get “rid” of anything that feels bad/negative to their being, this idea of freedom is at the core of all the mindless wars and violence that have been, and are being, perpetrated; the external violence is simply a reflection of the internal violence going on within us where we keep trying to get “rid” of whatever feels negative to our mind. Just think for a moment, if something feels negative to you, is it not possible that the problem is with you perception rather than with that “something” that you are fighting against? The deal is that most of us are too ego-centric to even admit that the problem could be with our attitude/outlook, we would rather blame, and get rid of, that which feels negative to us than work on developing our maturity and openness.
Life is just being life, if you have a problem with life you are the one who has to change in terms of attitude/outlook/openness, life is not going to change its nature. The state of allowing is about syncing up with the natural state of life, letting go of your conditioned/deluded resistances. When you stop fighting or suppressing an aspect of life (like fear) within you, you automatically sync up with the balanced/natural presence of this aspect and it starts serving you in a positive way in terms of allowing growth and improvement. For example, fear can be a force of wisdom that allows you to see a certain condition, that you would need to find solution for, before it becomes a crisis. A certain fear can also be indicative of a limitation in your thinking or an imbalance in your outlook. Fear is not a negative by itself, none of life’s natures are a negative by themselves, they all have a part to play in existence. If you stop trying to get rid of the fear, and be consciously allowing of it, you can start seeing the “seed of growth” hidden in it.
Understanding the reality of life
It’s important to understand that you are “existing” in the domain of life, and are a creation of life. You have the free-will to have your own perspectives, outlook, attitude, or in other words you have the free-will to have your own “thinking”. However, if your thinking is in opposition to the nature of life, you are the one who is going to end up suffering, simply because life is not going to change its nature for you – the truth is life can’t change its nature, life is just being itself. If your thinking is in opposition to life, it’s you who will need to change your thinking to bring yourself in alignment with life. You cannot get rid of aspects of life that are natural to life. You cannot hope that life will change its nature for your sake. If you are going to oppose the nature of life, guess who is going to lose eventually? It’s an exercise in futility to fight the reality of life. Of course, in many cases, people are totally unaware of the reality of life and hence they keep fighting reality in an unconscious manner. If I have to summarize some of the core aspects of the reality of life, it would be as below.
The two natures of life – Life (or the mind of life) has a light nature and a dark nature (yin/yang). When you support/cling to one nature over the other, you will find yourself going into conflict with life. When you cling to light nature, you will feel attacked by the dark nature, and when you cling to the dark nature, you will feel the lack/incompleteness/emptiness of the absence of light nature in your reality.
The 6 dimensions of a mind – Love, joy, hatred, fear, boredom and sexuality are the six dimensions of thinking present in any mind created in life. You can observe these six dimensions in your own mind. It’s not possible to get “rid” of any of these dimensions from the mind. It’s about bringing acceptance/openness to the presence of all these dimensions of thinking. Love and joy can be seen as light natured aspects, fear and hatred can be seen as dark natured aspects, boredom and sexuality are both light and dark natured depending on the situation.
The instinct for growth and experience – Growth is an inherent instinct in every mind owing to the presence of the dimensions of boredom, fear and hatred in the mind. “Experiencing” is another inherent instinct in every mind, owing to the presence of the dimensions of love, joy and sexuality. Desires are a natural outcome of these two instincts, the instinct for growth and experience. You can’t stop desiring – you can’t stop wanting growth, you can’t stop wanting experience. It’s totally futile to try and combat this natural instinct in life. If someone is selling you the concept of “Nirvana” as the end of desires, he/she is selling you a totally bogus teaching which has no reality in life. What’s required is to find a balance in your thinking, so that the realities you create/experience are also balanced.
The reality of ego – Mind implies “self awareness” (sense of self) or a sense of “I”. Without this sense of “I” there is no reference for thoughts. Be it the higher mind, the source mind or your mind, all the minds have an “ego” or sense of self. The ego is not the problem, the problem is when your thinking is not in alignment with the nature of life. When your thinking is in resistance to life’s nature, you end up in an imbalance towards life and thus you attract imbalance in your life. It’s not about getting rid of your of ego (or sense of self), it’s about bringing your thinking in alignment with life’s reality which includes balancing the light and dark nature aspects of your thinking.
The creation ability – The way your mind thinks is directly responsible for the reality you attract/experience. This is because you have the power of creation, in that the thoughts you give focus to (consciously or unconsciously) are “fueled” towards attracting a reality that is a match to the vibration of the thought. There are only two types of reality you can create – balanced and imbalanced. Your thoughts can either be imbalanced towards one nature (either light or dark nature), and thus attract an imbalanced reality reflecting the conflict of these natures in you, or they can be balanced in their perspective and outlook, thus creating/attracting a balanced reality for you.
Life is non-judgmental – Life is not judgmental towards you, it’s just that you can’t manifest a balanced reality in life while being resistant towards life’s nature (light and dark nature). If you have an imbalanced view, it will manifest in your reality – not because life is judging you or condemning you, but because you have the power of creation as a life-force and your reality will reflect your imbalance because that’s what your focus will create. The momentum of imbalance that you accumulate in yourself, as a being, is also referred to as your “karmic load” which continues to attract a reality onto itself until it’s consciously dissolved in momentum.
Undeniable self-responsibility – Your thinking is totally your responsibility, in that you make the choice towards what you give focus to. If you don’t exercise this responsibility consciously, it will still be exercised unconsciously. The thoughts in your mind can have a past momentum (possibly even from several life times) and yet you have the choice to let go of fueling patterns that you sense are not serving you – it’s just like how you make the choice to not keep eating junk food when you sense it’s not serving your health. There is no “how”, it’s just about getting good at exercising your conscious power of choice. If you feel powerless towards your own mind it just means you are imbalanced towards your light nature and hence are “meek”, you need to connect with your dark nature of inner power to stand up to your own mind and no longer be a prisoner to its momentum.
The reason why I am explaining the above realities of life in a post that seeks to give a pointer towards finding freedom from fear is because all the various “fears” that we hold as a being are linked, directly or indirectly, to the ignorance of the above truths, creating conflict with them. Cited below are various ways in which we fuel the momentum of fear through a resistance to reality.
– Fear is a natural dimension in any mind that’s created in life. If you have resistance to your mind’s fear, you will end up fueling the momentum of its fear. Your resistance to fear indirectly keeps fueling the momentum of fear dimension in you (your resistance is like a direct “focus” and your focus creates momentum in the aspect that you are focused on). In the post – Don’t fear fear – I’ve mentioned that the problem is not with fear as a dimension in the mind, the problem is that we are so afraid of it, instead of consciously allowing its presence. Fear is not a negative by itself, suppressing fear, as well as fearing fear (thus over-identifying with it) is what creates negativity in terms of imbalance.
– Since life inherently has a dark nature (along with light nature) you are bound to face the dark natured aspects of life during your existence. Loss, or dissolution, is required as a part of new growth and is a dark nature of life, you cannot do away with it. To fear loss in a strong way is to be in conflict with life. It’s normal to have some fear towards loss/change, but if you are too light natured, in terms of being “over sensitive”, you will end up having a strong fear towards loss, thus keeping you in perpetual state of fear towards life. It’s not about asking that there should be no “loss” in life, it’s about finding freedom from the fear of experiencing loss, by developing the openness to allow it freely within you. Allow the pain of loss until you no longer fear it.
– Your mind can have a past momentum, and its intensity can feel overwhelming when it latches on to a fearful thought. The reason it feels overwhelming is because of its “past momentum”, not because of the thought itself. The only way to reduce your mind momentum is to no longer keep identifying with the thoughts and no longer try to fight the thoughts either – just let the thoughts “be”, allow them without identifying with them, and they will fade away in force. This is not rocket science, it’s simple logic. Don’t keep saying “it’s too hard, the mind always pulls me”, of course it takes time to develop this freedom, but if you keep saying “it’s too hard” your attitude will be one of a person who is defeated before the battle begins. Nothing can fix a negative attitude, it’s totally upto you to make the choice towards a powerful attitude. (Read the post – A question of attitude)
– For your desires to manifest, there has to be a growth/change in your reality which means there will be a temporary phase of transition towards the new reality. Stop being afraid of change, stop being afraid of a temporary phase of uncertainty, stop asking for assurances all the time, stop resisting the dissolution of the incompatible aspects of your reality and be open to allowing the movement of manifestation created by your desires. Fear will arise quite naturally during the transition phase of growth, and if you fear allowing this fear you will be constantly stuck in clinging to your old reality which you want to change. This is the reason why it’s pertinent to develop the capacity to “allow” – if you can allow fear freely, you will no longer resist growth in your life.
– Self-awareness will always, eternally, be present in you since you are a being that has been created in life – you will always have a sense of self, a sense of “I”. Stop trying to hide from yourself, stop trying to be “unconscious” or detached, stop trying to reduce your awareness – all of these are movements of fear. The whole teaching of “no self” makes no sense from the perspective of a “being” that you are – you can’t go back to no-self, you can only bring forth a balanced self/ego. The way to reach a balanced self is by first aligning with life in its true nature, allowing the integration of the light and dark nature in you, and then involve in “living” instead of trying to find an escape from life.
The bottom-line is that you need to develop the capacity to “allow”. Anything which you can allow within yourself, loses its power over you – this is the reality of life. It’s only when you resist something that it has power over you. “Allowing” does not mean that you are saying “yes” to the thought, and neither are you saying “no” to the thought, allowing just means that you are letting the thought be along with the emotion it creates. Once a thought has lost its momentum, it’s easy for you to “choose” whether you want to focus on it or whether you want to focus on something else. The state of allowing is only to ensure that the momentum of the thought is released, so that you can then start making a conscious choice towards what you want to focus on (as discussed in the post – a different approach to thinking – where I explain that relaxed awareness is required to release the momentum of a thought so that you can then use “focused thinking” more efficiently)
I’ve seen that the people who make the quickest progress in finding freedom, from mind momentum, through the process of conscious allowing, are the ones who have an attitude of understanding the logic of the process and applying it with commitment and patience. Your attitude should be to gain an understanding of the logic behind a teaching, instead of trying to follow a teaching blindly – doing things blindly is the attitude of a low awareness person. It’s important to let go of being an unconscious follower and start using your own faculty of “thinking”, reasoning and introspecting to see the sense/logic behind a certain teaching or pointer. If you understand the logic, then there will be no question in your mind about the effectiveness of a certain approach, and based on this understanding you can make a choice for yourself on whether you want to follow the approach or not.
I get mails from people asking for “evidence” that the practice of allowing works towards finding inner freedom. My reply would be along the lines of asking them to understand the logic of the process of allowing and see if it makes sense to them, and if it doesn’t make sense just chuck it and move on to some other approach which makes more sense. To ask for evidence that this approach works is like saying “I would like to follow this process blindly, with a total faith in you, but before doing that can you give me stories of people who have achieved freedom through this approach”. The very foundation of freedom is “awareness”, which is what conscious living entails, it’s not about “blind faith”; following a technique blindly cannot bring you true freedom ever, and that includes the practice of allowing. Try to understand the process of allowing, and see if it makes sense to you, and if it does then apply it. I am in the least interested in giving evidences, even from my own personal life (though sometimes I do it when I sense it can help the explanation), but an attitude of depending on outside evidences to be the criteria for following an approach reeks of a “give me a technique to do blindly” mindset which is totally against conscious living, and hence totally incongruent with finding true freedom which can only come in a conscious/aware mind.
There are people who would say – “I’ve tried many things in my life before and nothing really worked, and I don’t believe this deal of allowing will work either, but I will give it a shot” – I would tell them right away that they shouldn’t bother with it. The attitude of “giving it a shot” will not cut it, especially on a journey that requires your conscious commitment. The only way you can ever commit to a journey is when you understand why you are making the journey in the first place – is it because someone told you to? Or is it because you find a purpose/resonance/heart in it? If you take up a journey just because someone told you to, or because you have faith in someone, it won’t be long before doubts start creeping in and then you will keep calling up for re-assurances. The only reason you embark on a journey is because you feel a resonance with it, and you consciously understand the usefulness of the journey. Take as much time as you want to decide if a journey is right for you, it’s totally worth the time to gain a clear understanding. In this blog, it has been my endeavor to explain, in as detailed a manner as possible, to give an understanding of what the process of finding inner freedom involves, and it’s not something that can just be explained in one post or one comment – I understand that reading takes time, and patience, but it’s definitely worth investing the time to gain a clear understanding.
Patience is a key requirement in the journey towards inner freedom, just like it is with any accomplishment. I can’t count the number of times I would have repeated this pointer, in my posts, that – “it takes time”. Once you understand the process, and if it makes logical sense to you, commit to it, and give it time. I hardly had any of the understanding that’s available in this blog, when I was on the journey of finding inner freedom, and yet the pointer of “letting go” made sense to me when I heard about it through some of the teachings on youtube (through teachers like Tolle, Adyashanti and Mooji), and I committed myself to it because it made sense to me and not because I had faith in a certain teacher or tradition. Along the journey I gained a personal understanding of the mechanics of finding balance along with inner freedom, and I share this understanding via the blog. It’s the right understanding that brings you to balance/freedom, not a blind technique – life is far too dynamic to be navigated through a “technique”, however when you have the right understanding of the reality of life you are in the position to handle this journey with a balance and stability.