Becoming Fearless Within

Posted on by Sen.

One of the most deluded ways of living life is to live it for the “pursuit” of happiness. I don’t mean “deluded” in a derogatory way, but just as a factual way of saying that it’s not the most prudent way to live.

Happiness is the basic necessity for a harmonious functioning of the body – so imagine a life where you have to pursue happiness, getting it every now and then (sometimes possibly for a few minutes a day or a few minutes a week). It’s like having your body in disharmony for most part of your waking hours.

Happiness should not be a pursuit, it should be a permanent state, it’s your natural state of being – the natural vibration of your body/life-energy.

You can pursue/desire a lot of “experiences” in life and enjoy them – relationship, creativity, lifestyle. All of these experiences are a celebration of life and they are fine for that, but don’t make them about a pursuit of happiness.

Happiness is your natural vibration, it should be the permanent background to all experiences. There is a huge difference between having a relationship for the “experience” of it and having a relationship out of the need to get your sense of happiness out of it – if the latter is the case, you will soon be like a leech draining your partner in an effort get your daily “fix”, that’s what neediness is.

Happiness is not meant to be a temporary experience, it’s supposed to be a permanent state of being that’s at the background of all experiences – good or bad.

It’s just like how silence is the background of all noise. If you live a life of seeking silence you will live a life of fighting noise all the time – you don’t have to seek silence, it’s already the background in which noise comes and goes, it’s a permanent state, and when you know your background of silence you can allow any form of noise.

Physicality comes with its dose of highs and lows, good weather and bad weather, good experiences and bad experiences (relatively speaking) and yet these are all surface-level experiences, and the background of happiness is present all the time irrespective of these experiences, and it’s a basic necessity for the harmony of your body – the only reason you don’t sense this permanent background of happiness is because you’ve created such a thick layer of “resistance” by having an attitude of being closed/contracted, instead of being open and fearless within.

The moment you become fearless within, you start releasing all the accumulated resistances and you start sensing the background of happiness – which soon becomes a permanent backdrop to all experiences. I also call this “inner wholeness” or inner stability.

What does it mean to be fearless within?

If you’ve not realized it yet, you are totally free to be fearless within, no matter what your circumstances are.

Why do we feel the need to get contracted/panicked as soon as fear arises in the mind? Why not just allow the fear to be there and be open in your being?

A lot of people talk about – “I freak out when my mind produces xyz thoughts”, and the assumption they make is that to freak out when the mind produces fear is the “normal” reaction, and that it’s not normal to just be open to fear – in truth, to freak out is the most “unconscious” reaction you can have, a conscious observation is to see that you don’t have to respond to the mind’s fears/thoughts with fear, it’s a simple choice.

People seem to think that there is some secret on how to be free of negativity/fear and they keep searching for it, when in truth there is no secret, it’s just a “choice” that you make to change your reaction to your mind’s thoughts – if you can’t make this choice, no amount of practices or techniques or medications can give you a permanent solution, and if you can live this choice you don’t need any external crutch.

Of course, the immediate argument that comes up is – “it’s not easy to make the choice of being relaxed when the mind is producing fears/negative-thoughts”.

The problem is that people misconstrue what it means to be “relaxed” – relaxed does not mean trying to be “blissed out”, relaxed just means to be open to what is arising instead of freaking out and closing down.

Just be like a space and allow what arises – so if fear is arising in the mind, allow the feelings that happen in the body, allow the thoughts and let it be, don’t try to fix it.

The mind now asks – “this is too simple, I don’t think it will fix anything and I don’t want to be stuck in this fear forever”, this is because the mind equates “doing something” to creating solution, the mind is always action oriented and wants a plan of action – to just be allowing seems like the dumbest thing to do as far as the mind is concerned; in fact it’s scary to the mind to just be allowing and it keeps saying “do something”.

However, if you can just be conscious of this pattern in your mind and stay in a place of allowing, instead of buying into your mind’s arguments, you will soon sense your power over the mind.

I am not saying that it’s easy to be in a state of allowing, “initially” it’s not – it takes time to come to this place of being totally fearless within. I am just saying this is the “way out” of this whole loop of negativity and even if it’s not easy initially it’s what will eventually allow you to come to permanent freedom.

It’s not easy because you’ve trained yourself in your unconscious reaction of “freaking out” as soon as the mind produces a thought of fear/negativity, and yet if you observe it’s just a “reaction” on your part which you can change at will. The fact that you can observe your mind is a proof that there is a space between you and your mind, in this space you can decide how you react to your mind – stop following the unconscious reaction of freaking out, and start consciously being fearless of the mind.

This is a pointer for you, it’s an invitation to a possibility that you may not have explored before or which you were not convinced of before – I am not giving a technique, I am just stating an obvious truth that you can choose your reaction to your mind, if your mind produces a fearful thought you don’t “have to” fear it.

Being fearless allows a release of negativity

If you want to experience the background of permanent happiness in you, you will need to invest sometime in releasing the thick layer of negativity/resistance that has gotten built up over the years of your unconscious reaction to your mind.

The simple pointer is be fearless and allow the mind to run out of intensity – don’t give in to your mind every time it produces fear/negativity. It’s an attitude, and I can only point you towards this attitude, after that it’s totally your choice.

I assure you that if you follow this attitude you will be able to release the layer of resistance that prevents you from accessing the background of happiness, your natural state of being.

I am not saying “try” to ignore the mind, because that’s just a fearful response on your part, I am saying be fearless to your mind – there is a huge difference between “trying to ignore” and being fearless.

I hope you understand that being fearless within does not require you to pull off any external “stunts” or dare-devilry. To be fearless within is a very simple place of being open to allowing your mind’s fears/negativity without reacting to it in a negative manner, like freaking out or jumping into mindless fear-based action. It’s simply about having a space where you can let the mind be, let the fear be, and not react to it fearfully – don’t move from the motivation of fear, don’t get blackmailed into fear-based actions under the influence of your mind’s fearful prophecies.

You can be sure that moving from a place of fear is the most mediocre, counter-productive, mis-timed or mis-aligned action possible under the circumstances – moving from fear cannot bring any real solution into your life. Growth occurs when you make the choice to not move from fear, to not react to your mind’s fears, to not buy the mind’s arguments for its fears – until this becomes a natural choice for you, you keep facing negativity (through external events or through imaginary thoughts) because that’s what’s needed for your growth into this state of being, it’s all part of your “wake up” call. Make the choice to be fearless to your mind, let go of moving from the motivation of fear, and see how your life starts changing towards a positive cycle.

It’s possible that your mind, in its vein of negativity, creates an argument that – “he doesn’t know what my fears/negativity feels like, he doesn’t know how difficult my life-situation is, it’s easy for him to just say be fearless and allow, I don’t think he understands”. The deal is that I do understand what it feels like to be in the midst of intense negativity, I’ve been there and it’s only through personal experience do I understand this process of releasing negativity.

If these words were not coming from a personal experience there would be no “power” to them, and you would sense a lack of honesty in it. The crux is – “make a choice to be fearless to the mind” – there really isn’t any other secret code and there isn’t any short cut if you want a permanent freedom from your mind’s negativity.

People go on for years trying to seek freedom from negativity without ever making this one choice, they’ve tried practices, medications and external achievements in order to seek relief from their negativity, without any permanent freedom – the reason it doesn’t work this way is because all your actions which come from a place of easing the pressure of fear, from your mind, are basically driven by fear and hence cannot solve this fear.

If you want to be free of your mind’s influence of fear, be fearless towards your mind – it’s such an obvious, simple logic, and because it’s so simple we easily miss it.

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  1. Willy

    Thanks sen. Thats a wonderful article…..

  2. Deniz

    Thank you Sen, I can start my day now.X

  3. alex

    love this

  4. Alchemista

    If you hadn’t gone through the pain of negative trials then you wouldn’t have known there’s a choice to awaken and return to your happiness. It is very simple when you reach it but like you said because its so simple we easily miss it and fall for the illusions and drama of our minds which seem more real.

  5. Jenny

    THank you Sen!! It’s crazy how easy this seems when I am having a “good” day but how quickly I forget when I am having a “bad” day. Thank you for the continual reminders! :o)

  6. Debbie

    It’s no coincidence that I would read this today as I sit and watch fear cross my mind.

    It started early this morning as I was awoken by a severe thunderstorm. I tried to relax but I noticed my mind obsessing about the lightning and thunder. Then it was over, but the fearful sensations linger.

    I am at work now and have a wonderful evening planned with a dear friend, but more severe storms are on the way tonight. It might seem silly, but I cannot stop obsessing about what is to come later. I don’t want to allow my fears to win and cancel my plans, but I find it difficult to stay in the NOW. There’s a mini battle in my head at the moment.

    On the bright side, I do feel fearless when it comes to my relationships with people in my life. It was a long, hard journey to get to this place and I couldn’t be happier. That was a huge hurdle to overcome. But when it comes to the unpredictable nature of severe weather, I feel totally helpless, irrational and out of control.

    1. Debbie

      Thank you Sen.
      That definitely helped. I will have to re-read that over and over so that it sinks in.

      On a funny note, I tried to control the outcome of this day and canceled my dinner because of the impending storm only to find out 2 things:

      1) My friend was going to cancel first anyway due to work obligations
      2) The second we canceled, the sun came out and the evening’s forecast changed.

  7. Treeter

    Yeah, sorry, I’m still not getting it? But I do appreciate the reverse side of ” having a bad attitude” ? I also appreciate the many “don’ts” cuz I seem to have them mastered however I could really use some specifics in the other direction? Do not “react” just doesn’t seem to resonate because I guess Im thinking good reaction should be cultivated!? So see still trying to figure it out with out life-intelligence.

    I do have good feelings cuz I do believe you understand but I can’t seem to feel secure/good with what I am doing right. I try to do nothing and that turns to agitation in my household, and my health grows worse. I shut myself in the room and “busy myself” and that’s wrong! I tell myself it’s okay things are always changing, and they do ….. for the worse. I communicate and I get strangled

    So as I continue to ride the wave of negativity,crash,get back up,crash, etc. I will hope for a lightening strike/amnesia/something that makes me understand how to really make the change?!??!

    Bottom line your awesome Sen, thanks for all the encouragement, I wouldn’t be hopeful without your post/insights. Somehow I know it’s not a possibility to give up?


    1. Sen Post author

      Treeter, you may observe that your actions/attitude is still rooted in a mindset of struggle coming from a place of fear, and the basic focus of your mind is on the thought “I am in a mess, and I hate it”, you also have a constant struggle with your mind – trying to get it right. Trying to communicate, trying to shut yourself, trying to “get back up”, all of this is still coming from a place of fear and it’s struggle-based – and you’ve summarized your struggle by saying “it’s not a possibility to give up”. The instinct is so clear in your heart to “give up”, and let life’s intelligence start working (that’s what’s communicated by these thoughts of wanting an amnesia strike, since that’s the only way you would give up with this mindset). Giving up is the possibility you are most afraid of exploring, and that’s what’s really needed – just give up your struggle based mindset, and take the approach letting it happen, let go as much of anything that reeks of effort for a while, even if it means resting the whole day (don’t buy your mind’s excuse that “I can’t relax”).

  8. Rossana

    Sen I feel like I understand everything perfectly and have been feeling the release of so much negativity. For once I am finally coming to a place of stability and I truly feel it.

    My only problem has been some boredom why do you think this is? What should i be doing to better the situation

    1. Sen Post author

      Rossana, boredom is a dimension in the mind that one needs to be balanced towards – if you are imbalance in this dimension you feel dull, if you are suppressing this dimension you are constantly restless. A balanced expression of this dimension allows one to be calm, to have a vibe of patience and not be overly restless or overly excited. Instead of trying to fight boredom, just allow it fully and let go of identifying with the restless movement of your mind towards wanting something to happen all the time. As you find connection with this dimension of boredom you will sense more stability in you, which allows you to not be prisoner to restlessness or over-excitement. In fact, it’s this dimension that connects you with inner wisdom.

  9. Frankie B

    Thanks Sen, that was well said.
    Most people (including me) miss the fact that in every negative situation is a positive change or something that is looking around behind you just waiting to be unfold. I hope it makes sense what I am trying to say. Well I think your article is very helpful, and although I have thought about this before, I have’nt really thought much of it until I read your article. Really after doing some deep thinking, most of the decisions I have done in the past relates to a type of fear. The fear of not having a partner, being rejected, a failure, and not feeling important to other.

    A quote I came up about 4 months ago, when I was going through some hard times in college is this
    “Fear is powerful, it can be cruel, it is an enemy, must not let rule.”
    To me it rhyme so I repeated it to myself every day. It help me in a way that every time I thought of something I COULD NOT DO, i would just repeat it and it would give me a sense of relieve. However, like I said i never thought of actually becoming “fearless of the mind.” So thanks again for bring that new perspective into my life.

  10. lekha

    a great article!!!!

  11. Karen

    Thank you

  12. Ehsan M.

    You sparked my realization, and I am forever grateful.

  13. cihan

    Very true My friend,, i belive your insights from bottom of my heart.

  14. Radiance


    So let’s say I feel fear of not finding a good school for my son.
    I feel this “springs” me into action to call people, post in forums, look for directories.
    All this done from a freaked out mother. Frenetic action for sure.

    What is an alternative approach? How can I allow my fear to just be and what would be different?

    Just trying to understand…

    1. Sen Post author

      Ultimately it’s about reaching a place of inner stability whereby you have the space to not be pulled in by the fear-based (or lack-based) movement of the mind and thus not waste energy over hasty actions, mis-timed actions or unproductive actions. When you have a space of inner stability, you move more from a place of inner inspiration, guidance and wisdom. You can read the below posts for more insight

      Every problem manifests a solution
      Letting go of the mindset of struggle

  15. bernard


  16. Stella

    Hi Sen,
    Please can you tell me if this is “normal” on the path to relaxed awareness.
    I don`t feel fear within- which is definitely something for me ( having felt this emotion for a good while now) I think I`ve posted on a similar theme before- but I have absolutely zero motivation, zero interest, I feel I don`t connect with people, probably because the ones I know- I have little in common with. You may say this is my negativity attracting negative outside stuff- but a few people have been very unkind to me.
    Anyway , bottom line is I just have no interest, feel totally disconnected from the world- and its getting to the point where I can`t be bothered to do anything. This is an awful thing to say, and I feel I am wasting my life- life is precious isnt it? Fell so guilty, and horrid really.
    Please help with your words.
    Thanks, so enjoy to read this blog, and all the posts – I feel at the moment I am drowning in inertia- if that`s the word , it all seems so hard.
    How do I make myself do Anything? How do I enjoy life?
    Sorry to sound glum to the other posters.

    1. Courtney P.

      No need to feel sorry!! I felt like that too..don’t worry about it and enjoy just relaxing!!

    2. Jel

      Hi Stella, I can sooo relate to you.

      This has been my reality for the last 3 years and especially the last 1 year. And the irony I have found, that I no longer have the deep internal fear that I have always lived with & hence no action has been forthcoming as a result. I have lived in such inertia for the last 12 months, cant be bothered to work or even go outside. I just surrendered and allowed myself to be. Not that I trusted life or knew anything about the process of allowing that Sen describes. But just knew there was no other choice & I didn’t want to die. This site has been of enormous help in this process & for me Sen is a hero. Keep reading as many articles as you can. And know that life in its true energy is love, pure positive & takes care of you.

      Over this last year, I am now understanding the true nature of life, how the mind works and who I am. As a result, I am now starting to experience the desire to discover different realities. It is ever so subtle, so small & so gentle.

      Where in my old life- to enjoy – meant for me to have major excitement & drama, whether professionally or in my personal life. And yesterday I was giggling, because I was walking by the lake where I live in Canada and a seagull just dived across the water edge without a care in the world and it was like wow, that is an expression of life which I belong to and share with source energy and I felt such joy, happiness & contentment. In the old days, I would never have noticed the dam seagull, maybe not even the lake!

      Be interested in what Sens perspective and experience on this is. But for me – was let go, allow and see what happens. Gosh don’t get me wrong not soo easy, but it really has been this web site which has helped me enormously to understand the process. Blessings for you Stella.

    3. Sen Post author

      Stella, the phase of inertia is a very normal part of the “release” of past negativity, or what can be called clearing up the past emotional baggage, and reduction in the mind momentum – basically this is part of the experience one has during phase 3 (letting go phase) of moving into alignment as described in this post – Awakening, transcendence and return of focus. I’ve also described that one can expect to feel a little “dysfunctional” during the release as the bulk of the energy is used up by the clearing process and the energy movement can leave the body tired, there is also a sense of wanting to be by oneself (a preference for some isolation or private space), I’ve described this in this post – Reducing mind momentum is the key.

      The mind is always afraid of the future because it can’t know in advance how it will pan out, and this present phase of inertia can make the mind feel that it will last forever and it projects a future of being stuck in inertia – but in truth, nothing like that happens. This is just a temporary phase and even during this phase your requirements are taken care of, if you can quit worrying about the future you can see that the present not as chaotic as your mind makes it out to be. For now, just go with the flow, don’t fight the inertia, don’t try to force yourself into action and mainly just let go of buying your mind’s fear of doom. Being fearless within is just a ground to allow the release of negativity related to self-loathing/self-hatred, guilt, insecurity and bitterness, and this release is essential to be an open channel to allowing your natural expression to unfold. Don’t be too worried about being “productive”, you will be moved into more involvement and engagement with creative work once the release is done with, for now you just need to stay allowing of the release while taking any action that comes as an inner inspiration.

  17. Jess

    Hi all,

    Thanks for this article sen! I find it really reassuring to hear that hear that the answer to letting go of fear and negativity is to just let go, be mindful and present and to stop trying to problem solve the minds thoughts etc. I jut have one question after reading this post… It’s probably difficult to answer, but it’s the one part of the article I could not relate to… What evidence is there tht happiness is our permanent state? My understanding is that our conscious space is one of peace and stability- its hard to believe that we always have an underlying happiness to me… That explanation seems to suggest that life is this ultimate nirvana thats available to us whenever we want. When you look around there is a lot of negativity that doesn’t fit with this explanation ( war, famine, hatred etc). Sorry to be a downer, just curious is all

    1. Sen Post author

      Jess, the brain has the capacity to polarize its vibration into two natures – light nature and dark nature. The human brain is a creation, a machine, created by non-physical life-energy in order to experience the various facets of its nature – a part of self-realization or self-recognition. This is reason why the brain has a design that allows it to polarize into light and dark nature, the brain has 6 dimensions in it – love, joy, fear, hatred, boredom and sexuality, so basically the brain segments thoughts into different expressions creating different experiences. An imbalance towards dark natures of the brain like fear, hatred, boredom, sexuality can lead to imbalanced behaviors (like war, exploitation and dullness) just as much as an imbalance towards light natures like love, joy can lead to imbalanced behaviors (like obsession, neediness, over-excitement). What I term as “happiness” in the context of this post is not just “joy” (joy is just one light nature of the brain), happiness in the way I define it is akin to “inner wholeness” – a state of balance that you come to when you integrate the dark and light natures of your brain. This wholeness is the natural state of life energy when it’s not polarized. I’ve explained in this post – Integrating your light and dark nature. By happiness I am not referring to a state of unending joy, but a state of balance/wholeness that you can sense within when you are not imbalanced towards any either light nature or dark nature of the brain.

  18. Stella

    Dear Jel and Sen,
    Thank-you both for taking the time to respond- I really mean this- it is appreciated.
    I am wary about baring my soul on the internet- but as you said Sen ( when I had a “chat” with you) I must learn to trust people- and for whatever reason, I am not sure I do, I don`t really know why.
    Jel, I have a lovely image in my mind of you walking by the lake – I am glad you found something within which gave you the desire to get out. It just feels like a pretty cold world out there to me – I don`t know whether this is loneliness- or just having a very tenacious mind- which tells me things will not get better. But…. Sen I do listen to you when you say this will pass- trouble is I can`t imagine myself without these negative thoughts. I shall just have to let them be, and believe what Jel writes -“life in its true energy is love “” which is beautiful.

    Jel, I too have been like this for a good three years( well good is perhaps not the most appropriate word to use(!)) I think I have always been a thinker and a worrier, but it was a loss in the most appalling circumstances- which triggered a sort of mental breakdown. I then got quite lost in the various teachings of all sorts of “spiritual”schools. I don`t think if I had discovered Sen`s blog at the time I would have been ready for it- but I`m here now, and that`s good.

    Forgive my rambling- I just wanted to say thank-you, and Jel thank-you for the blessings, it made me cry- but in a joyous way.

    Thank-you both, truly.

    1. Jel

      Stella, bless you loads – what a brave, generous & blessed response you sent! You are a beautiful person 🙂 abundant blessings & positive energy for you always.

      Thank you for helping me so much also. I have been thinking loads this last year- gosh maybe I bear my soul too much, I trust too much, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything on this forum. I have known in my life, what it is like to trust nobody & i have known the similar but the opposite heartache when I have trusted the wrong people- but you have reminded me once again – when you trust the right people – the blessings are abundant. And I think one of the more beautiful things in life, when people connect with each other and can let their barriers down in a safe way and share their stories. We are not alone.

      I am so sorry for the hell you went through 3 years ago and the awful circumstances you had to endure. I really do believe it takes huge strength to ‘beak down’ & give yourself massive kudos for doing that…. So much of society accepts the functional responsibilities of life, without questioning what the hell we are putting up with & why. You are so on the right path!!! May you discover new blessings every day of your life.

  19. Jess

    Hi sen,

    Thanks that is clearer. I guess my mind has a very distinct picture of what ‘happiness’ is and thts why I was finding it confusing. Wholeness and balance makes a lot more sense. I think I have read that post before and not been ready to understand its meaning. I’ll give it a crack now 🙂

  20. Ron

    I like this article very much. I have had OCD for many decades and my symptoms are largely fears produced in the mind with no real compulsions except the desire to avoid or escape situations. Do believe your theory on ‘fearless to the mind’ applies to someone with this affliction of ‘mental’ OCD thoughts? With OCD the thoughts and fears seem to linger and repeat more so then for people without OCD.

  21. Stella

    Jel, thank-you.
    Truth is at the moment I feel my mind has a lot to get rid of- the “negative cycle” which Sen refers to- and its not easy to remain impassive and not react emotionally.

    But I feel I found this site for a reason, and do get strength reading all the articles and other readers comments. In fact I often feel , gosh, I`ve got more in common with some of these people, scattered all over the world, who I have never even met, than some of the morons I have come into contact with in my “real”life. There is such an honesty in the comments- and a desire for the truth. I like that.
    Sorry , feeling kinda glum today.
    I love to read the quotes of people down the ages, who you sense had the same questions- and struggles:

    Albert Camus:

    “In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
    In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
    In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
    I realized, through it all, that…

    In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

    And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”

    I think that`s what Sen means by Awareness- that`s how I understand it anyway.

    Bless you too. I`ll look out for your posts to see how your`e doing.

    1. Jel

      Hey Stella, always great to hear from you! And OMG- know exactly what you mean when u say abt being in a ‘negative cycle’ & all that entails! 😉 lol, at the moment I am just watching Football in the Euro championships & on a Beer holiday – as I delay the next negative cycle!

      Love your quote! I sooo dig great quotes! U r so right, that awareness is being ‘aware’ – that beyond & behind every thought, feeling, emotion, memory, experience- is our true nature – pure, positive love!

      BTW, i just read your question to Sen regarding star systems and the origin of consciousness. You made me smile cos – I have been meaning to ask this question for ages! All I know is that 8 years ago, I first started reading & experiencing different levels of consciousnesses on this planet… Have you heard of terms like – Starseed, Indigo children, Lightworkers, Reptilians, Arcturian& Pleiadian Aliens?

      Even the awesome C.S Lewis, the Christian theologian of the Chronicles of Narnia fame, wrote in one of his books about the parable of the lost sheep. God had 100 sheep & lost 1- the human race – & thus C.S said explicitly – this could elude to different races on different star systems & planets!

      I do have lots of opinions on this – but all I do know in life, we are here now and “we are born every morning; live every day; die every night” (Joanna Lumney).


  22. Sue

    Dear Stella,
    I have been reading your posts; have been thinking for a while to reply. I would like to reassure you that you are in the right path and that you are not alone. Life seems to give us similar wake up calls. My husband has a personality disorder (NPD), we are married for 27 years now. Understood his NPD only 3 years ago. So you an imagine the struggle in the past without this understanding – ten years of depression culminated in drowning in fear and isolation for the past 3 years. Lost trust totally in life and people; SEN through his posts has created a platform for us to rebuild trust and human relationship. My physical reality hasn’t changed yet as Sen and others point out. However I have trust now in life energy that my life will be better. Patience is the lesson that I am learning now.
    So don’t give up hope; Just hang in there. Bless you.

    1. Stella

      Dear Sue,
      Thank-you for your comment –
      I am genuinely touched by your kindness .


  23. Sue

    Hi Jel,
    I feel connected to you when I read your reply to Stella. Bless you too!!

    1. Jel

      Thank you Sue…. That does mean so much! How are you & your husband right now? You are in my thoughts… Bless you.

  24. Stella

    Jel hi!
    You`re on a blinking beer holiday at the footie- then you are WAY ahead of me in the” motivating yourself to do stuff stakes”! To even have the desire to go on holiday is something that feels totally out of my imagination- I am well and truly stuck . I am allowing myself to live a narrow life , the thing I lack is courage, and or confidence- you know- like Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music” before she shacks up with the captain and his seven children…..

    I`m serious I have completely lost my nerve and the will/desire to do anything much at all- and that`s sad- cos I feel that life is passing me by-and that provokes guilt feelings, feelings that I`m lazy, and all sorts of stuff. Its because of a protracted battle I`ve had with officialdom in this country – following the death of someone I loved , its too personal to detail here, but its a trauma I would not wish upon anyone.

    No, I`m not familiar with those things- but I do know Joanna Lumley- a fabulous lady- real style and a genuine class. I don`t know what the answer is for me, wait it out or try and just plunge back into life- but that scares me so much.

    Glad you like the quote, I get real peace/ joy reading stuff that touches my soul.

    Whilst I`m here the guy I told Sen about David Bohm- a genius intellectually- no doubt- suffered greatly with depression – I thought for all his brains and theorising he was troubled-saw a clip on you toob- he looks a real gentle soul, but with a sadness.
    This life, this awareness needs to be trusted, you need to just live life- as you are life, but I keep blocking myself.
    Thanks for your reply babe, am genuinely pleased you are having fun- wish me courage, I can`t seem to do it myself.
    C xx

    1. Jel

      Good morning! alas I do wish I was back in Europe & at the tournament – me & my beers are here in sunny Toronto watching the game on TV – but lol deffo on holiday mode!

      This is the first time I have wanted to do anything in one whole year & I mean like – even want to get out of bed…. My will, desire has ever slowly returned. I have also done some work for first time since Oct 2008 in the last month…. Like yourself- never knew if desire would return & omg- felt so lazy & guilty and here I am taking baby steps….It comes back….

      I used to be really courageous – not anymore. Not for years…. Then I think somewhere on this site, Sen says that courage is just allowing…. So dear Stella, you are sooooo courageous, cos u are in a place of being & allowing…. and the bottom line is – life has to show you that it is a pure, positive force and lol, seriously I would say – put ur feet up & watch it unfold…and one day u will notice that you have desire again.

      Right going to have to read more abt David Bohm! If you ever want to talk – my email address is

      Take care you….

  25. Sue

    Dear Stella, This is the time we need to be kind to ourselves. Don’t judge yourself. Give yourself the freedom to do whatever you want to do / don’t want to do. This includes doing nothing.
    Up until i found Sen’s posts, I thought that i was stuck – there was no way in; no way out. Now i have trust in life energy. I still haven’t found a way out, no desire, no motivation etc. BUT i know i will be out soon. So i focus on ‘allowing’ without being self critical or self judgmental.

    I used to work full time and running a business for quiet sometime. i resigned that good full time job 8 years ago and stopped the business 3 years ago. I am in debt; depending on someone (even if it is my husband) for living is one of the hardest things for me.

    Teachings of Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie helped me a lot during this period. Have you done ‘JUDGE YOUR NEIGHBOR’ worksheet of Katie? The turnarounds have been very powerful for me.

    I understand from my experience and reading the posts here, that this is the process of evolving to wholeness. SO KNOW THAT YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
    As Jil says this ‘allowing’ needs the greatest honesty and courage. Trust the process.

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