One of the most deluded ways of living life is to live it for the “pursuit” of happiness. I don’t mean “deluded” in a derogatory way, but just as a factual way of saying that it’s not the most prudent way to live.
Happiness is the basic necessity for a harmonious functioning of the body – so imagine a life where you have to pursue happiness, getting it every now and then (sometimes possibly for a few minutes a day or a few minutes a week). It’s like having your body in disharmony for most part of your waking hours.
Happiness should not be a pursuit, it should be a permanent state, it’s your natural state of being – the natural vibration of your body/life-energy.
You can pursue/desire a lot of “experiences” in life and enjoy them – relationship, creativity, lifestyle. All of these experiences are a celebration of life and they are fine for that, but don’t make them about a pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is your natural vibration, it should be the permanent background to all experiences. There is a huge difference between having a relationship for the “experience” of it and having a relationship out of the need to get your sense of happiness out of it – if the latter is the case, you will soon be like a leech draining your partner in an effort get your daily “fix”, that’s what neediness is.
Happiness is not meant to be a temporary experience, it’s supposed to be a permanent state of being that’s at the background of all experiences – good or bad.
It’s just like how silence is the background of all noise. If you live a life of seeking silence you will live a life of fighting noise all the time – you don’t have to seek silence, it’s already the background in which noise comes and goes, it’s a permanent state, and when you know your background of silence you can allow any form of noise.
Physicality comes with its dose of highs and lows, good weather and bad weather, good experiences and bad experiences (relatively speaking) and yet these are all surface-level experiences, and the background of happiness is present all the time irrespective of these experiences, and it’s a basic necessity for the harmony of your body – the only reason you don’t sense this permanent background of happiness is because you’ve created such a thick layer of “resistance” by having an attitude of being closed/contracted, instead of being open and fearless within.
The moment you become fearless within, you start releasing all the accumulated resistances and you start sensing the background of happiness – which soon becomes a permanent backdrop to all experiences. I also call this “inner wholeness” or inner stability.
What does it mean to be fearless within?
If you’ve not realized it yet, you are totally free to be fearless within, no matter what your circumstances are.
Why do we feel the need to get contracted/panicked as soon as fear arises in the mind? Why not just allow the fear to be there and be open in your being?
A lot of people talk about – “I freak out when my mind produces xyz thoughts”, and the assumption they make is that to freak out when the mind produces fear is the “normal” reaction, and that it’s not normal to just be open to fear – in truth, to freak out is the most “unconscious” reaction you can have, a conscious observation is to see that you don’t have to respond to the mind’s fears/thoughts with fear, it’s a simple choice.
People seem to think that there is some secret on how to be free of negativity/fear and they keep searching for it, when in truth there is no secret, it’s just a “choice” that you make to change your reaction to your mind’s thoughts – if you can’t make this choice, no amount of practices or techniques or medications can give you a permanent solution, and if you can live this choice you don’t need any external crutch.
Of course, the immediate argument that comes up is – “it’s not easy to make the choice of being relaxed when the mind is producing fears/negative-thoughts”.
The problem is that people misconstrue what it means to be “relaxed” – relaxed does not mean trying to be “blissed out”, relaxed just means to be open to what is arising instead of freaking out and closing down.
Just be like a space and allow what arises – so if fear is arising in the mind, allow the feelings that happen in the body, allow the thoughts and let it be, don’t try to fix it.
The mind now asks – “this is too simple, I don’t think it will fix anything and I don’t want to be stuck in this fear forever”, this is because the mind equates “doing something” to creating solution, the mind is always action oriented and wants a plan of action – to just be allowing seems like the dumbest thing to do as far as the mind is concerned; in fact it’s scary to the mind to just be allowing and it keeps saying “do something”.
However, if you can just be conscious of this pattern in your mind and stay in a place of allowing, instead of buying into your mind’s arguments, you will soon sense your power over the mind.
I am not saying that it’s easy to be in a state of allowing, “initially” it’s not – it takes time to come to this place of being totally fearless within. I am just saying this is the “way out” of this whole loop of negativity and even if it’s not easy initially it’s what will eventually allow you to come to permanent freedom.
It’s not easy because you’ve trained yourself in your unconscious reaction of “freaking out” as soon as the mind produces a thought of fear/negativity, and yet if you observe it’s just a “reaction” on your part which you can change at will. The fact that you can observe your mind is a proof that there is a space between you and your mind, in this space you can decide how you react to your mind – stop following the unconscious reaction of freaking out, and start consciously being fearless of the mind.
This is a pointer for you, it’s an invitation to a possibility that you may not have explored before or which you were not convinced of before – I am not giving a technique, I am just stating an obvious truth that you can choose your reaction to your mind, if your mind produces a fearful thought you don’t “have to” fear it.
Being fearless allows a release of negativity
If you want to experience the background of permanent happiness in you, you will need to invest sometime in releasing the thick layer of negativity/resistance that has gotten built up over the years of your unconscious reaction to your mind.
The simple pointer is be fearless and allow the mind to run out of intensity – don’t give in to your mind every time it produces fear/negativity. It’s an attitude, and I can only point you towards this attitude, after that it’s totally your choice.
I assure you that if you follow this attitude you will be able to release the layer of resistance that prevents you from accessing the background of happiness, your natural state of being.
I am not saying “try” to ignore the mind, because that’s just a fearful response on your part, I am saying be fearless to your mind – there is a huge difference between “trying to ignore” and being fearless.
I hope you understand that being fearless within does not require you to pull off any external “stunts” or dare-devilry. To be fearless within is a very simple place of being open to allowing your mind’s fears/negativity without reacting to it in a negative manner, like freaking out or jumping into mindless fear-based action. It’s simply about having a space where you can let the mind be, let the fear be, and not react to it fearfully – don’t move from the motivation of fear, don’t get blackmailed into fear-based actions under the influence of your mind’s fearful prophecies.
You can be sure that moving from a place of fear is the most mediocre, counter-productive, mis-timed or mis-aligned action possible under the circumstances – moving from fear cannot bring any real solution into your life. Growth occurs when you make the choice to not move from fear, to not react to your mind’s fears, to not buy the mind’s arguments for its fears – until this becomes a natural choice for you, you keep facing negativity (through external events or through imaginary thoughts) because that’s what’s needed for your growth into this state of being, it’s all part of your “wake up” call. Make the choice to be fearless to your mind, let go of moving from the motivation of fear, and see how your life starts changing towards a positive cycle.
It’s possible that your mind, in its vein of negativity, creates an argument that – “he doesn’t know what my fears/negativity feels like, he doesn’t know how difficult my life-situation is, it’s easy for him to just say be fearless and allow, I don’t think he understands”. The deal is that I do understand what it feels like to be in the midst of intense negativity, I’ve been there and it’s only through personal experience do I understand this process of releasing negativity.
If these words were not coming from a personal experience there would be no “power” to them, and you would sense a lack of honesty in it. The crux is – “make a choice to be fearless to the mind” – there really isn’t any other secret code and there isn’t any short cut if you want a permanent freedom from your mind’s negativity.
People go on for years trying to seek freedom from negativity without ever making this one choice, they’ve tried practices, medications and external achievements in order to seek relief from their negativity, without any permanent freedom – the reason it doesn’t work this way is because all your actions which come from a place of easing the pressure of fear, from your mind, are basically driven by fear and hence cannot solve this fear.
If you want to be free of your mind’s influence of fear, be fearless towards your mind – it’s such an obvious, simple logic, and because it’s so simple we easily miss it.