To be fearless is not a state of being where fear stops arising in you; it’s a state of being where you are no longer “afraid” of fear. A lot of people are so terrified of the feeling of fear that they live constantly in fear of their mind. The whole pursuit of spirituality, in many cases, comes from the need to be free of fear. A lot of people believe that once they are enlightened their human expression would be free of fear altogether, in that fear will stop arising in their mind – such a misplaced understanding is the reason why a lot of people get so stuck through this journey. It takes some amount of self-awareness to realize that it’s never possible for the mind to be free of fear, in that fear will always arise in the human mind no matter how enlightened you are. You become free when you stop fearing the feeling of fear created by fear based thoughts in the mind. Liberated living is not the “absence of fear” but the absence of fear of fear.
The mind will always have fear
The human mind has an important function of ensuring survival, in simple words it’s a “survival machine” for the most part. Any machine that is designed for survival is a machine that needs to be able to look out for danger and thus it will have the tendency to project imaginary fearful situations in a bid to prepare or protect itself against this imagined danger. The brain of any living organism is designed for survival and hence will always have the tendency to fear or create “projections” of fear. To imagine that your mind will one day stop creating fear is an “unrealistic” fantasy that cannot ever be reality because of the very design of a mind.
One can find it very liberating just to realize it’s not ever possible for the mind to stop producing fear, and hence they can let go of the futile pursuit to reach such a state. It’s amazing how many people are stuck in spiritual practices in the hope of attaining some fantasy/imaginary state where their mind stops creating fear based thoughts, without ever realizing that the mind/brain is a survival machine and by its very nature can never stop generating fear. When you are finally ready to see this truth about the mind, you will be able to move to the next level where you accept the presence of fear and not fear its presence anymore.
To be fearless is to allow fear freely
Fear by itself is not a problem, the problem is the “resistance” that we have to the fear so much so that we constantly try to escape “life” in a bid to somehow escape fear. A lot of people who are stuck in addictions have a common mindset where they are trying to “escape” the fears in their mind – that’s why they use drugs, alcohol, entertainment or even spiritual/mystical practices to somehow escape the mind.
Freedom is never attained by trying to run away from something, that’s just another form of bondage. Freedom is attained when you are no longer in “resistance” to something even when it arises in your experience. When you stop resisting fear, you would transcend fear altogether – that does not mean that your mind will stop producing fear, it just means you will no longer be afraid of the feeling of fear.
An open awareness does not have the agenda to eradicate
You stop fearing fear when you are able to really “see through” fear or the feeling of it. The only way to see through something is to bring a deep awareness to it and to maintain awareness of it, even if it’s quite unpleasant initially to face up to some feelings. Don’t be thrown off by the initial discomfort that is bound to happen when you bring awareness to the fears in your mind.
Bring awareness to fear not with the purpose of “getting rid” of it, but with the purpose of getting to “know” it as it is – to really know fear as what it is. Open awareness is more a movement of curiosity or observation than a movement of wanting to eradicate or kill something. The more you try to get rid of fear the more you will stay in fear of it but the moment you bring an open awareness to it, without any agenda to get rid of it, you will soon be able to see through it and thus transcend it (Allow yourself at least a few months to really see a shift in your way of being once you start bringing awareness to the feeling of fear in your physical space).
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Hi, I understand what you are saying with regards to fear being a natural emotion for survival when it comes to being faced with a “real” danger, for example a lion coming at us, but fear of flying for example comes from the egoic mind as it cannot be real, for if it was real then everyone would have it and that is clearly not true. This kind of fear is illusionary linked to the ego. Letting go of the egoic mind would bring freedom of those kinds of fears I understand.
Where does anxiety fit into this cycle? Feeling anxious is ok, as long as you accept it? or anxiety will diminish based on faith in the lifestream?
My job creates a lot of anxiety in me. There is a lot of frustration in the position in things out of my control. Let my lifestream lead me in the correct direction? possibly out of this career?
It’s very normal for the mind to feel anxious now and then basically because it’s a “survival machine” and one of its jobs is to look out for danger/threat to its survival. What’s required is that you not be totally identified with the mind’s anxiety, but watch it as a space of detached awareness. Don’t try to suppress your mind’s movement of anxiety, just allow it to happen while staying as a space of awareness. The mind’s movements will not affect your vibration if you are not totally identified with it – it’s a machine that keeps functioning in specific patterns based on its make-up, and you need to be allowing of it – the only way you can truly be allowing of it is when you are stable in your position as a space of relaxed awareness. Another benefit of staying in this space of awareness, without being totally taken in by the mind’s movements, is that it allows you attract circumstances that assist, and enhance, your well-being, it allows for ideas and inspirations to come within you, it allows for right actions to come forth with the right timing, it allows the smoother unfolding of your desired realities.
if your job is a source of frustration for you, it’s an indication that it’s not congruent with your natural expression. As you stay in this space of relaxed awareness, you will notice new ideas coming to you for some new ventures or you may notice some opportunities coming to you from outside without any real action on your part – when you are in a space of allowing, your life stream can orchestrates events with ease to bring forth your well-being.
Wow, this makes a lot of sense. As I mentioned earlier, this once I went for meditation and had an amazing relaxing experience (very spontaneous). Today when I did it (I have been depressed and anxious and fearful due to some reasons,(i mentioned in the email to you). I was looking to get rid of these feelings. When I started with the meditation (using this word for lack of a better word!) I was experiencing fears and anxiety and feeling the very fears, I was trying to avoid, and I was trying hard to recreate the experience of calm, I had when I meditated for the first time! It was not happening, and it made me angry, frustrated, but slowly I just let myself go with the fears and feelings of anxiety.
Now that I read it, I realize that its not done for a specific purpose or to get rid of something. Its done just to let thoughts, fears etc come out or not, its just observing your mind. What also strikes me is the fact that you said, dont try to be aware!! and thats exactly what I was doing, and it wasnt working. Now that I read this, it makes a lot of sense!!!
Btw I felt sad after doing the thought observation…is it normal to feel sad after one finishes the activity?
Thanks again!
Hi Sen,
I don’t know what to do anymore, it’s not my main problem anymore but I still believe it has a hold on me throughout my daily life and I believe it shouldn’t. I feel I have a fear of a show that’s is on TV right now and I’ve had obsessive thoughts of it every since I watched it a few months ago. I’ve done all what youve written in your post; tried relaxed awareness, watching my thoughts and more or less all of what you have written. I have felt a reduce in the momentum of this obsessive thoughts and horrible feeling that do come with them and have been much happier in recent months. However, the only problem I have left is that my mind still holds the belief that it needs to be fearful on this trivial show, and what annoys me the most is that I feel it’s holding me back and I can’t move on tho the final stage of just have no obsessive thought of this at all. I have a big identification with it, am I meant to watch the show in order to become desensitised and disidentify with it? Please help me, I’ve really had enough.
Sasha, if you fear something you would need to bring awareness to it and see through the limits of this fear. If it means watching this show, then do so. You mentioned that you observe a decrease in your mind momentum, and hence it implies that you have a stronger awareness. Using this awareness you can consciously understand the actual patterns of fear created in the mind while watching this show. If you become afraid of these fears in the mind, then you may want to gain a deeper understanding of what it is that you fear about it and through this understanding you would not be pulled into associating with these fears. But before you can move into understanding this fear, you will need to be aware enough to allow this fear in without trying to escape it.
got another query for ya Sen. Do you believe it’s possible for the mind to come up with anxiety , fear, stress, etc. as a specific response to a person’s spiritual inquiry. The deeper I try to go into the process of disidentification it seems like I get more frustrated due to perceived lack of progress, and other negative things come up with that(anxiety, doubt, etc.). It’s almost like this mind is putting up roadblocks to me going anywhere with this. Any insight to what is possibly going on in here? Thanx.
Kenny, this is very normal and it’s a part of the mind’s protective instinct where it’s afraid of embracing the “unknown”, plus it’s nature of being critical or cynical. You need to see this pattern in the mind and be allowing of it without buying into it – it’s just the mind playing out its patterns. Progress is about how free do you feel towards allowing the mind without buying into its negativity, your degree of freedom from the mind is the degree of progress, and once you become aware there is no regression, it’s always a forward movement – feeling guilty about not making progress is just a sign that you are buying into your mind’s cynical arguments, and basically it’s just an opportunity to let go of buying into it.
and another thing. How do you allow? is it thinking of something and not reacting? having a hard time telling the difference between allowing and thinking a thought and trying not to react. what is non-reactivity? is it possible to not feel or think anything no matter how horrible the thought / emotion? i just dont know what watching the mind is i guess. seems like i’m just sitting there going ok gonna think about messed up stuff and see if i get mad ,cry, want to break something , whatever. is seeing something in your mind the same as thinking it? cuz thats what it feels like to me
Kenny, it’s about having a space within from where you are not enslaved to your mind’s position alone. You can watch the mind’s position, you can enjoy/acknowledge its perspective, you can align with the things that feel right to your being, but ultimately you feel like the “master”, you don’t feel like a slave to the mind. Don’t try to use awareness as a technique to fight the mind, rather use it as a means to understand the mind, this is not about finding a sure-fire, one-shot, mechanism to deal with the mind, it’s about being flexible enough to deal with the mind as per the occasion, as per the inspiration of the moment. The bottom-line is to feel a sense of freedom where you know you are not a prisoner to your mind, you don’t feel helpless towards it.