Understanding Wholeness

Posted on by Sen.

The nature of experience that stems from a place of wholeness is very different from the experience you had from a place of “imbalance”. In this context, I use the term “imbalance” purely as a relative reference to contrast it with the state of “wholeness”. If you are not in wholeness, you are in imbalance – it’s not a negative in terms of being a “mistake” or being “wrong”, it’s just a state of being which is lower in evolution to the state of wholeness. The state of imbalance is unavoidable in the journey of a soul, and the state of wholeness is the natural evolution, the next level of the journey. In fact the state of imbalance is what causes you to consciously know the state of wholeness for what it is; without the previous reference of imbalance you can’t really know/appreciate wholeness (which is your natural state). It’s the transition from the state of imbalance to the state of wholeness which causes the most confusion, this is because these are two totally different states of being, two completely different experiences, two totally contrasting movements. Having lived from the state of imbalance for so long, it can feel very dis-orienting to start living from the state of wholeness, and one can feel confused, lonely and lost, initially, the way you felt as a kid when you changed schools and suddenly had to contend with a totally new environment.

It’s only the phase of transition that feels disorienting, once you transition fully you no longer feel disoriented, in fact there is a deep level of clarity, peace, stability or whatever word you want to use to describe the state of “feeling at home”. There are some teachings that use the term 3rd dimension, 4th dimension and 5th dimension, to refer to the transition from imbalance to wholeness, the 3rd dimension being the vibrational place of imbalanced living and 5th dimension being the vibrational place of total transition towards wholeness; the 4th dimension is like an intermediate plane where you start connecting with wholeness and start letting go of the imbalanced states of being. If you simply look at the “dimensions” as states of being, then you realize that it’s simply about evolving in your perspective, from a perspective of imbalance to a perspective of wholeness, and thus releasing all the vibrations of imbalance and taking over the vibration of wholeness (or 5th dimension living). It’s about living the experience of physicality from the place of wholeness, or bringing 5th dimensional living on Earth – that’s what the transition is about, it’s not really about moving into some non-physical plane rather about bringing the state of wholeness into physicality – in other words, addressing aspects of physicality like financial stability, relationships and health, from the place of wholeness. It’s a totally different state of living as you experience finance, relationships and health from the perspective of wholeness.

You may notice that some of the recent posts (especially the last four) are along the lines of making “conscious choices” towards experiences that you desire in your physicality, and it can seem like a total contradiction to the state of letting go, or allowing. And if you read the posts out of context you may not get the implication that these posts are about how one needs to bring a “return of focus” onto physicality after having transitioned towards the state of wholeness. Without this return of focus there is bound to be a lot of confusion as to “what do I have to do now”, because once you transition into wholeness you may feel as if you’ve reached some form of an ending, when in truth it’s just a new beginning. Of course, you will sort it out on your own, eventually, with time, and you will soon realize that now you are supposed to start living the same “physical deal” but from a place of wholeness, and then you understand that it’s a totally different experience though you may be doing the same things (like your work or relationships) that you did before. The only reason for these posts is to clear up the confusion that naturally arise, during this shift, so that you can be more relaxed, and can be more clear, in shorter time, about the transition – it’s like how an orientation program is helpful towards cutting short your “orienting time” when you join a new company; even without the orientation program you would learn the ropes, and you would learn your way around, it’s just that it would take more time and it would take more “trials and errors” which can be avoided.

What does it mean to live from wholeness?

The irony is that wholeness is the opposite of the conventional definition of “achieving happiness” or the “pursuit of happiness”. Everything that’s true for the pursuit of happiness is not true for the journey towards wholeness. The reason I use the term “happiness” in contrast to “wholeness” is because we all know what is being referred to when I talk about the ideology of the pursuit of happiness, basically the ideology of “I will get happy when I get xyz”. The pursuit-of-happiness state is a 3rd dimension ideology, or the ideology that’s present in the state of imbalance – it defines happiness as a state of reach through the achievement of an external goal, or through an involvement in an external activity, be it food, sex, sports, luxuries, work-accomplishments, spiritual pursuits etc. The very foundation of the pursuit of happiness is based in “lack”, since it defines fulfillment as something that’s not internally present but needs to be experienced through the aid of an external achievement/possession – this is the reason why this ideology is at the root of imbalance, and is thus called the 3rd dimensional ideology. Even using “law of attraction” principles from this mindset of imbalance leads to more imbalance, you may manifest “stuff” but the all the stuff just keeps moving you into more imbalance because your very intent/thought is coming from a place of lack.

So what’s the ideology in the state of wholeness? There is no ideology rather it feels like natural movement. It’s simply that “fulfillment” is already your natural state and thus your reason for creating, experiencing or expressing, is simply for the fun of it, or the “responsibility” of it, rather than for achieving fulfillment through it. Even “responsibility” has a totally different meaning in the state of wholeness, it’s not something that you feel you “need” to do, rather it’s something that you do because you want to do it as a requirement for balance. Also, “fun” has completely different meaning in the state of wholeness, it’s no longer a means to fill up a void that you feel within, rather it’s a means to express the wholeness that you feel within. You may be doing the same things like working on an office project, studying for a graduation degree, taking care of your children, looking for a relationship, making new friends, flirting, playing video games, working out, re-doing your car etc, but now the “inner motivations” are totally different, none of this comes from a place of lack, none of this comes from a need to “fill up” your inner void, it doesn’t come from “I can’t live without this”, it doesn’t come from “I need to prove myself”, it doesn’t come from “I don’t want to miss out”, it doesn’t come from “I am superior/inferior”, rather it simply comes from the place of “I want to do it because that’s what I want to do”, not as a form of rigidness or stubbornness, but as an wholistic inspiration. You can see how the even the motivations in the state of wholeness are just whole in themselves.

This is a transition period on Earth, and the pointer of a “New Earth” is not idealistic or poetic, rather it’s simply a pointer towards a new reality that we are headed towards, a reality where humans live from a place of inner wholeness, it’s a natural evolution – this does not mean that it’s an end of the experience of light and dark nature, rather it’s about experiencing light and dark nature in a balanced way. Also, it’s not needed that the entire population transition at once, and together, into wholeness – that’s not possible and it’s not needed. I read somewhere that even if 3 or 4 % of the population transitions towards the state of inner wholeness, the vibrational shift would be enough to bring in the shift of reality towards 5th dimensional living – frankly, I don’t feel that talking about the “collective requirement” is the right way to look at this process, because it’s easy to then shift responsibility to the outside or start forming some sort of a “cult mentality” about wholeness. You don’t have to worry yourself about “will we make the shift as a population” rather you would just need to focus on your journey of transition – this is a very personal journey, and one of its requirements is your willingness to be “alone” (at-least within yourself) instead of looking for the outside assurance or following the herd-mindset. Total inner freedom is one the basic requirements for transitioning into a state of wholeness, any “crutch” that you hold would need to be let go of, including the crutch of “hope” or “trust” or even faith; anything that comes from a place of powerlessness, or fear, is an impediment towards wholeness.

The dynamics of transition towards wholeness

The state of imbalance is basically defined by an imbalance towards light nature, or dark nature, or a mix of both in specific aspects. For example, in a state of imbalance (or 3rd dimension living) you are motivated by a drive towards joy or the pressure of fear, by the pull of attraction (or so-called “love”) or by the spite of hatred, by the desire for indulgence or by the desire for detachment – each motivation is imbalanced, be it light-natured or dark-natured. This form of living has been going for a long time now, and the souls who have been re-incarnating on Earth (or other star-systems inhabiting 3rd dimensional living) for several life-times have become very conditioned to this state of imbalanced living, like a habit, like an addiction, like a mindset. Dropping this mindset, shedding all of the past momentum, letting go of all the emotional load accumulated through this imbalance, and dissolving realities that were created from this imbalance, can be challenge to say the least – however, it can’t be avoided, and needs to be gone through. The past accumulation cannot disappear in one shot, it can only dissolve over time by transitioning consciously – in fact it doesn’t dissolve into “nothing”, it actually becomes the fuel for the creating the new reality of balance, in that sense the imbalanced energy transforms into balanced energy.

I’ve discussed this in some posts in the past, but I would like summarize the various possible scenarios that you might experience during the transition from imbalance towards wholeness (especially when you moved into the phase of “letting go”, either deliberately or through the force of external event, also referred to as fierce grace, or what I refer to as a wake-up call).

Increased intensity of emotions – All the accumulated emotions, that were created through your imbalanced movement, will be have to be released and this exodus of emotions can feel like a “flood” during the release cycles. One can feel pretty overwhelmed by the intensity of the emotions (like sadness, anger, fear, hatred, sexual feelings, love or just dis-interest/boredom) that can arise as a part of the release. The state of imbalance is a state of “suppression” because it inclines towards one nature by suppressing the other nature, like clinging to a light nature while suppressing the dark nature or vice versa (what’s called the yin and yang imbalance). All the suppression causes a build up of momentum, and it’s stored up at many levels, in your being and also in your body – in fact, you also inherit the imbalances of your gene pool through cellular memory, and even these imbalanced inheritances need to be dissolved. Don’t start blaming your parents or ancestors, it serves no purpose – remember that your ancestors could well be just you in your past lifetime.

Most people have a hard time dealing with this “release” of emotional accumulation. It has a physical impact in terms of a bodily discomfort, depending on where the suppression points are getting released (the energy points in the body are called “chakras” and the release happens through them). Your body has the intelligence to regulate the release, and will not go above a threshold that it can’t handle. You will make it easy for yourself if you would stop analyzing the emotional release, and just let it run its course – it’s quite normal to feel a sense of panic during some intense releases, or a sense of doom especially during the release of some dark natured emotions. The pointer is to simply “let be”, it’s like an inner storm and it will pass. Sometimes you can get pulled into the emotional surge, and may end up throwing a tantrum, have a bout of crying or feeling suicidal (as a part of dramatic thinking) – this is normal, remember that the “brain” interprets the release in a negative manner and hence can have some dramatic responses now and then. Actually, the release serves a dual purpose, it frees up all the past accumulation and it develops a sense of “inner courage”, or openness, in you (because it does take you towards becoming more and more open in your being, to allow the release).

A combating ego – Remember that the imbalanced state of being has been your habit/proclivity for several lifetimes and hence your “identity” (or ego) is attached to this way of being. The transition towards wholeness requires you to shed this “attachment” which indirectly feels like shedding your sense of identity or ego – this the reason why some teachers call this process as the “death of ego”, however it’s not a very accurate pointer, in truth it’s not the end of ego rather it’s the evolution of ego towards wholeness. You will face a fierce resistance within you towards letting go of the ideologies related to the state of imbalance, and this resistance feels like there are two people living inside you – the part that doesn’t want to let go of imbalance and the part that’s pulling you towards wholeness. When you are totally lost in imbalanced living there is no inner conflict, and when you’ve totally transitioned into wholeness-based living there won’t be any inner conflict, however the phase of transition is full of inner conflict – this is the reason why people feel so exhausted, emotionally and mentally, during the transition.

If you simply accept the truth that there is no going back, that the way forward is towards wholeness, then you would stop trying to cling towards the 3rd dimensional aspects, or imbalanced aspects, in you. For some people the experience is like they are being dragged while they dig their nails into the sand to hold on, and this is because they start trying to “go back” to their past way of being after experimenting with “letting go” for a while. Once you are into this journey, there is no going back, there is only the option of going without resistance or being dragged into wholeness while you kick about. If you find yourself dealing with a lot of inner conflict, just relax and let go of your need to sort it out – this letting go is all it takes for the momentum of imbalanced motivations to die out and that makes it easy for you to transition into the mindset of wholeness and develop wholeness-based motivations from there on.

Feeling dysfunctional – Any transition always has a phase where you feel dysfunctional or not fully functional, this transition is no different. You will have to let go of the fear of being “unproductive”, because it can seem like you are put in a place of zero motivation and zero drive for a while, you may see yourself quitting (or being released) from activities that were rooted in a vibration of imbalance, and for a while you can feel a sense of panic about it because your old identity was so habituated to that activity. You may also be afraid of being judged as being irresponsible, and may also feel guilty about your unproductive state. This phase of being “unproductive”, or feeling meaningless and motivation-less, also serves a dual purpose – it releases the momentum of past “pre-occupations” that were rooted in the energy of imbalance, and it also releases you from the motivations of fear-based productivity. Being a workaholic myself, this was a tough challenge for me because there was so much identity invested in work, and in the idea of “showing productivity” for a sense of worth.

You start becoming fully functional once you transition into wholeness. You may take up certain activities that you had left off, or you make take up some new activities, but this time it won’t be from the place of imbalanced motivations. You will also see yourself becoming more interested in “quality”, mastery and expertise, and this is natural because your motivations to create come from a true place of “I want to do this” rather than from any other imbalanced influence. You will also see yourself being deeply aware of “time”, its limitations in physical realm, and working in full appreciation of its boundaries, thus making choices based on a self-realized priority.

A motivation-less motivation – During the transition phase you start losing the energy of “driven motivations”, and this can scare a lot of people because they associate it with regressing or becoming a drifter. This is sometimes referred to as the “loss of personal will” but again this is just a temporary phase that happens during transition – you will regain your will, and you will regain motivation, it’s just that it won’t have the old energy of imbalance. It’s hard to describe the feeling of motivation that’s felt in the state of wholeness, it’s so different from what is felt during the state of imbalance, but suffix to say that motivations return, your drive for “doing” things will return, but this drive is no longer felt as a restless energy of needing to get somewhere, neither is this drive rooted in desperation or fear, it’s just a very “peaceful” force – the paradox where peace and movement merge together.

So don’t be afraid of this phase of transition where you will seem to lose your past motivations. Of course, some of the activities will not return, they will dissolve for good. Some activities can return but with a different sense of motivation, and a different approach from your end. Whatever be the case, you can be sure that your desire for “doing” comes back in total balance with your sense of “being”. If you find yourself in this phase of being stuck in limbo of zero motivation, stop worrying about it, stop fighting it, and let go towards the inner pull of just “being” – you will have enough on your plate dealing with the emotional release and the challenge of the dissolving past-identity. The return of focus happens “naturally” as the momentum of the imbalance dies away, but the reason I talk about it as making a conscious choice is just to give a pointer towards the fact that there is a next level beyond just the phase of letting go.

Migrating from spiritual learnings – Towards half-way through the phase of transition, you may begin to lose interest in all the “spiritual teachings” that may have been the guidance for you to start the journey towards wholeness. By “spiritual teachings” I just mean teachings of non-physical nature, about unity consciousness (or advaita), about surrender et al. Towards the end of the transition you may become materially focused again but this time the drive is no longer from a place of lack, rather it’s from a place of wanting to explore some aspects of physicality that come as a natural inspiration to you. The reason I am mentioning this pointer is because there are some misconceptions that once you become acquainted with spirituality you don’t return to material pursuits, in truth the spiritual guidance is only a pathway back to balanced materialism – physicality/material-realm is the leading edge of creation, there is no higher ground for a being to work on experience and expression.

Changes in your physical body – The release of the “dense” accumulation of emotional load , and the openness in your mind, directly causes the body to shift towards a lighter density; it’s like the cells becoming more transparent due to the release of emotional energy. In some teachings they refer to the body changing from “carbon density” to “silicon/crystal density”, frankly these are just semantics and the bottom-line is that you will find your body becoming lighter from within. Your body will also seem to find a natural balance towards its harmonious weight. You may find yourself letting go of some foods that no longer resonate with you (mostly the highly processed varieties) with the tendency towards eating more whole foods – you don’t have to force this, it should happen naturally as per the requirements of the body.

During the transition, you may observe some physiological changes like the change of skin tone, change in body weight, change in appetite and flexibility. It’s also possible that you have some temporary conditions of skin break out, loss of appetite, muscle cramps, body aches, rise in body temperature etc, all of this would be temporary and would heal on its own as the transition progresses, and the reason for their occurrence is basically the “detox” that’s taking place.

In conclusion, the phase of transition can be confusing and disorienting when one has no understanding of what’s going on. Also, when one does not understand what wholeness really implies one is bound to keep thinking of it from the old ideology of happiness (which is just a light-natured state) and hence keep resisting the natural movement towards balancing the light and dark nature aspects in oneself. Understanding the dynamics of this process of transition towards wholeness can be a huge help towards ensuring a smoother, and more comfortable, shift.

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  1. Blake

    This is encouraging. I am graduating college in a week and its been difficult timing with the transition to wholeness that I am undergoing. My ego is completely attached to getting the kind of job that will impress/please my friends and family and I have found myself constantly jumping back and forth between pursuing what they want and digging deep to figure out what I want. With career decisions, did you have any difficulty sifting through the ego’s illusions about what your work life should look like and seeing clearly what you should be doing regardless of extrinsic motivations ($). This has been the toughest for me because i have always been completely identified with what others think of me so I have no clue how to take this next step without following in this typical path.

    1. Shiv

      Blake – the very fact that you are aware of the movements and motivations of your ego is an indication of the space of conscious awareness within you. You have also clearly outlined the desire to satisfy others expectations as being fear based versus the conscious desire to turn inwards as resonating more authentically with your being.

      So, you already have a strong clarity about your authentic desires. Your dilemma lies in how to manifest them in a model that your intellect can deal with. Maybe this will help.

      In transitioning to a place of wholeness, there is almost always a lag between what the conscious mind can clearly perceive is the direction in which you should move versus what your body and your intellet is capable of accepting. You body and mind are far more cumbersome and will take some time to experience the same conclusions you have seen to be true. They carry the burden of the past, of fears, of doubt, of expectations. Your higher Self is not burdened by these and so its vision is unmuddied. Be patient with yourself. Allow the wisdom of your authentic Self to slowly illuminate your body and mind. Each person is unique and the time lag is contingent upon the accumulation of fears within your own body-mind.

      Ultimately, the path of wholeness is unconditional, is not contingent upon circumstances and conditions. In other words, instead of asking what career choices will allow me to live a life more aligned with Wholeness, it is more appropriate to see that it is from that place of Wholeness that these life choices will be made.

      In the meantime, act in the direction that offers the least resistance in the moment. Even if it is a career path that you are drawn to that you don’t fully believe resonates with you. Yet, there is that aspect of yourself that is fearful and doubting, that needs acceptance from others. How else can you see through that illusion than by immersing yourself in it fully? On the deepest level, that is the primary reason for why you chose to incarnate in this life in the first place.

      At the end of the day, if coming to a place of Wholeness is what you truly desire, nothing will keep you from it. Illusion cannot be bypassed, it must be seen through by going through it. Accepting your own inner contradictions is necessary for the release of the agents of imbalance within you.

      This journey to Wholeness is really the journey through the time lag between your higher Self and your self-concept. As you leave one shore for the other, you may have the sense that you are crossing a great divide, but really what is happening is something far more profound than that – you are actually bringing the two worlds together, making whole again the 2 halves of your self.

    2. Blake

      In response to shiv-

      What you have said makes alot of sense. I havedefinitely been looking at this career moment as a life and death scenario, as if making the wrong decision implies that I’ ll forever be enslaved to the ego. Thank you for the the advice, this is a very interesting pespective. Its very good to hear that there is some lag because I often look at things black and white and along this line of thinking “this is THE pivotal moment andif I screw up now then the whole thing is hopeless and I may as well give into the ego”… Which is obviously coming straight from the ego. It is very interesting once you begin to understand the ego and start observing it on a daily basis. Still having a tough time separating from its grasp but I’m making progress.

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

    3. Blake

      Quick question though.

      ” How else canyou see through that illusion than by immersing yourself init fully? On the deepest level, that is the primaryreason for whyyou chose to incarnate in this life in the first place.”

      I don’t quite understand what you mean in the second sentence. Do you mind elaborating?

    4. Shiv

      Hi Blake –

      In your life you will find that there are certain motivations which are highly attractive to you and there will be some that cause a strong sense of repulsion in you. These motivations which manifest in various forms as thoughts, feelings, events, circumstances are essentially the course-syllabus of your life lesson. Each one’s syllabus is unique to them. What is a strong attracting influence or repelling influence in one may have absolutely no effect, either positive or negative, on another person i.e. they are neutral in their response. But it is these attracting/repelling urges which set up the polarizations that then feed the energies of your ego.

      For example, you may not be a very materially motivated person by nature and so material success and acquiring things may not be something that particularly interests you. In other words, you may have a naturally neutral attitude towards it, whereas for someone else it may be an aspect of their lives that consumes them and defines how their life will progress. On these so called neutral issues, you will find that there is not much ego momentum that can build up around it because there is no magnetic pull towards the issue. On the other hand, you may be someone who cares very deeply about the state of the world’s affairs, about injustice and attrocity. On these issues you may find yourself having strong opinions, judgments and identities about things. And here your attractions and repulsions will be palpable – and this is the kind of arena in which the ego loves to play.

      However, the point is not to be completely neutral. The point is to get a deeper understanding of what polarizes you.

      Think of yourself as a battery, where the positive pole corresponds to all the light-natured (using Sen’s terms which you may be familiar with) aspects of yourself and the negative pole corresponds to all the dark-natured aspects. As long as these two poles exist the current of life will continue to flow, animating your body-mind.

      Now I’ll extend this analogy one step further. In physics, the voltage of a battery is defined as the potential distance between the two poles. As you polarize more and more strongly towards your attractions and against your repulsions, the voltage (polarization) of your self increases. From your school physics you may recall the formula for Ohm’s Law V=IR where V is the voltage, I the current and R the resistance. If the current (ie the life energy stays the same) an increase in voltage implies an increase in the resistance you experience. There is a quote that goes “Ego is the resistance to what is.” This resistance is essentially the ego-force that Sen talks about.

      In other words, the more identified you are with your mental positions, the more polarized you are, the more resistance you will experience. And vice versa, any resistance you feel from external sources will polarize you further. It is also true that every electrical current generates a magnetic field around it. This is what attracts/repels other egos around you and you to them.

      In response to you regarding my comment about “immersing yourself in the illusion” – this is the natural progression of life. At first, it is only through experiencing great resistance within ourselves that we become aware of how polarized we are and more importantly about the need to understand that polarity. This can only be done through a process of allowing the experience of these polarities. As we begin to understand, our understanding has a sort of balancing effect, a bringing together in a sense of the positive and the negative. This decreases the potential difference (the voltage) between the poles and hence so does the resistance. As the resistance frees up, the current flows more freely, the poles come into a balance and the magnetic field around the wire no longer magnetizes other egos in the way it once did.

      There is no way around this process. any attempt to be only postive by avoidance of negative only polarizes further. Any over indulgence in the negative while losing perspective of the positive only polarizes further. If you shift your focus from attempting to contrive a more positive/negative scenario towards reconnecting with that current that animates you in every moment, you will have a stronger and stronger sense of the wholeness that is essentially at the root of all of it.

    5. Blake

      Very, very interesting. I’m enjoying the physics analogy. Thanks again and best of luck to you.

  2. Priya

    Hi Sen,

    Thank you for all the help.

    Is it possible that one loses weight as a result of this movment towards wholeness?I have a fertility issue,, will i see a change as a result of my allowing and becoming whole? i mean changes in your body are an indication of a changing life arent they?
    i had flu for 2 weeks and now i feel completely new..i have crucified myself for not doing anything but now am able to relax freely,, do u recommend tapping as method of clearing energy blocks?

    1. Sen Post author

      Priya, as the vibrations of imbalance start ebbing away, you will sense a natural evolution in your desires, your thinking and your receptivity to inspirations that are based in wholeness. Your body starts moving towards wholeness based behavior (including your cellular behavior) which includes establishing the ideal body weight, in that sense you would feel a natural inspiration towards eating right and following certain actions that are aligned towards creating/maintain the ideal body weight. Also, if the fertility issue stems from some inner resistance (emotional accumulation that manifests as cellular resistance) then the state of balance should heal this issue.

  3. Markus

    Sen, thank you again for describing things as best you can about transitions. Many others have good things to say about growth and raising awareness, yet gloss over the reality of the process of change. It is hard, as we get challenged physically, emotionally, mentally. In a way, it is more important to stay aware of this part of the process – thinking that one changes overnight into balance would create misunderstanding or unreal expectations. What really unfolds might frighten some and create unneeded hardship as it happens. Good that you offer a helpful word of support.

  4. Wynone

    It’s very interesting. My body seems to be rejecting some foods (clearly as a sensation in the body- it’s not pleasant) which I loved before. For example, I rarely crave anything anymore, not even chocolate, which I love usually.
    Anyways, my question is a different one- Sen, thanks for the previous answer to my post about figuring things out 🙂 it was under the “Seeing through deluded thinking’, if I’m right. Now I’ve been eager to ask you something else.
    As the cleansing continues, I’m realizing how much I want to live my life to the fullest. At the same time, when I ask myself “what would you like to experience today”, most days when I’m under stress and I need to be studying (being in a student session), I just don’t want to go anywhere. Okay, nothing wrong with that. But when I compare the way my day passes with s certain other person’s day, I often feel like I could have done something more to be more fulfilled during the day. So, in a sense, something inside of me is still not content with the way my day has passed, but on the other hand- I consciously don’t want to do anything to change it, anything in particular. Not every day, of course, but some of the days are like this. It’s like I don’t really wanna do anything different that day, but if someone else shares his/her aspects of the day, or what they’ve experienced, I often feel like I want to have experienced that too! Then what is the problem, it’s very strange.
    Other than that, I’m feeling really deeply clear about many things.

    1. Markus

      Goeie dag, Wynone… “I often feel like I could have done something more to be more fulfilled during the day.” You often feel that something outside yourself could have fulfilled you more? That is the problem. No need to judge yourself for not having filled every moment of the day with memorable activity. If studying is important today, then studying can be fulfilling.

      The experiences of others can be interesting, or even inspiring – but if you didn’t think of it before talking to this person, today was not the day for you to do the same. Tomorrow is a new day, another opportunity for choices.

  5. Licorice

    Why do you say the following ” including the crutch of “hope” or “trust” or even faith; anything that comes from a place of powerlessness, or fear, is an impediment towards wholeness.”………
    I thought I was working towards trusting life’s stream. How is this a crutch?

  6. stormy

    I’ve been following you for about 8 months and over the summer went through the allowing phase when I allowed everything to come up and out, just like you said. Now I so feel that “space in my being” like you describe and I am always watching my reactions and emotions to everything which I wasn’t able to do before. I think about my thoughts now where before I was always just reacting to things. I also started to come out of my head and more into my body and I’m more aware of the here and now. but I’m doing something wrong I think because this just lead me to a lot of boredom like I’ve never felt before. For example, before this summer, I never was truly “bored” because I could always find something to do to occupy myself like tv, reading, thinking, etc. But now I am so bored that my depression actually came back but it feels different than before. There doesn’t seem to be that mystery or excitement in life, even though now I realize that it was just in my mind before anyway. But I don’t have that extra “cushion” in my brain that I guess was guarding me against real life?? I don’t know how to get out of this chronic boredom and I almost wish I had my false view of the world before. What could you say about this to help? I know you’ve mentioned something like this before, but I wanted to ask. Thanks.

    1. Shiv

      Hi Stormy,

      This is just a phase in which your mind is reorienting itself to its new reality. It takes a bit of time and here the process of allowing reaches a whole new depth because you can even become allowing of boredom.

      For a mind that has primarily been preoccupied with internal drama for most of its existence, the balanced state can seem relatively uneventful and boring at first. And an initial reaction might be, “I wish I could go back to the drama.” You can even try it out. Play with it. Try to see what it feels like to think in the old ways like you used to. You will find that you have outgrown it.

      The depression you feel as a result has taken on a different flavor. It seems less problematic and doesn’t have all those emotional flavors it had before. This is in a way a validation of the balancing effect in you. Boredom and depression can be as much an experience in the balanced state as in the unbalanced state, however what changes is your relationship to it. Also, the things that trigger the boredom and depression also change.

      In most cases, this sense of boredom is something that is greatly influenced by your mind and your thoughts about what you are experiencing. In many ways your mind is in the process of reinventing itself. All the things that it found valuable yesterday, it doesn’t value today. So it is in the process of finding newer, deeper and perhaps more meaningful ways to perceive life. And so in the interim it finds itself a bit listless. That’s ok. Its only natural.

      Move more deeply into the allowing, where you are willing to allow even this boredom, even this depression, even the frustration. You may feel for a time that you have lost the mystery and excitement in life. But as your mind slowly reorients itself to the newer reality you will find there is more mystery and excitement there than you had ever imagined before.

  7. Joy

    Dear Sen, can you help better understanding about gaining inner power after release phase? What that process involves?

    1. Sen Post author

      Joy, if you are done with the release phase (where you don’t feel any intense emotional momentum or mind momentum), and still feel powerless it just indicates that you need to work on your “thinking”, which is required for the return of focus (from being passive to being active). You need to look at learning “life skills” that allow you to navigate the physical reality on Earth, skills with respect to wealth, health and relationships. Your focus should be towards “learning” and growing in terms of physical experience and expression, and for that you have to let go of the mindset of “spirituality” that you may be holding on to from the phase of release – the fact is that currently you are in a physical plane and your focus needs to be towards your experience her. This whole deal of “wholeness” is supposed to the foundation for you to become empowered towards living a better physical life, since physicality is your current plane of existence. To enjoy a good physical life one has to feel aligned with aspects of wealth, health and relationship, and if you find it lacking it’s an indication that you would need to “learn” the skills and understandings needed to work with these realities – I mentioned about some way in which one can understand social dynamics in the post – An aware social interaction, it’s just one example of the attitude of learning/exploring that’s needed to navigate physicality. If you feel an aversion towards focusing on physical aspects, then you would need to see if its coming from a place of hang-up, delusion, fear or just lethargy, and work on letting go of it by no longer identifying with it consciously. If you are done with the phase of release, you have to work on the return of focus consciously, and learning new skills, making new connections, understanding more about the dynamics of wealth, relationship and health in physical of Earth, is the way re-align with your physical focus.

  8. nurgis

    I want to know if it´s normal for the mind to almost play pushy-pully games with these subjects. Sometimes I feel as I am looking into an open space where it all makes sense and then again it feels like only a black dot where I can´t feel that feeling and I need to go back to the posts to reconnect with the understanding. It is a weird feeling and I can´t really describe it but hoping that someone can relate and explain and then yet again, I have moments where I feel that no explanations are needed!!!

  9. Ashish


    What I have learned from your wisdom is that to be free from psycological suffering/anxiety is to

    1) Stop resisting anything that arises in the mind consciously- obsessive thoughts/stuck thoughts is due to high mind momentum.Fear gripped mind finds place to stick to any thought/emotion to continue its presence.To be resilient in thinking first its needed to allow everything that arises in the mind,create space for thinking by simply allowing.

    2)Next is when high mind momentum comes to its natural phase,then thinking through wisdom and finding truth in the thought if it is coming to the conscience.

    3) Last is to grow in the being by finding truth to any thought,emotion ,situation,trouble.This will create truth based belief to live the life in a balanced way.

    Hope this is the crux of your teaching.Kindly put some insight if i am wrong anywhere.

    1. Sen Post author

      Ashish, that’s the right understanding, it’s just that in the third point where you mention about creating “truth-based beliefs” the deal is that in a state of wholeness you are no longer looking for “beliefs”, you are only interested in understanding reality, and you are always open towards deeper understanding, never trying to create a “belief” to hold on to. It’s only in the unconscious state of being that one clings to beliefs for their sense of security.

  10. Tyler

    The last couple of days I feel like I’m starting to get down to figuring out my resistances, and realizing that I had been rather chilidish at times dealing with my problems. Learning to not question what occurs, and being able to not fall into another cycle of confusion and let that bring me down has been very helpful, but I still have one main problem. As you’ve said, it takes a great understanding of the mind to transcend the fears of the mind. I’ve read up on many of your articles on the subject and continue to do so, but I feel like I don’t retain the information. I’ve read key points time and time again, and I feel like sometimes I never hold in the info, especially in times of greater negativity (what I assume is a small release, since I’m not causing it anymore). Is this normal, should I just be patient with understanding the mind, and not worry about how long it takes?

    1. Sen Post author

      Tyler, it takes time for the “understanding” to sink in – there are four levels, ignorance, aware incompetence, aware competence, relaxed competence. Ignorance is the state of “not knowing” or not being aware, aware incompetence is when you “know” but you can’t retain/internalize the understanding, aware competence is when you are able to live the understanding but while requiring you to be very aware of your movement, relaxed competence is when the understanding has become so deeply internalized that it feels “natural” and you don’t need to be rigidly aware of your movement, they just happen in a fluid manner. You are possibly along the borders of aware incompetence and aware competence, and with time you will move towards relaxed competence. You are on the right track with this in terms of gaining the understanding and allowing the release, you just have to be patient with the natural time span it takes for internalizing the understanding.

  11. Abhishek Gupta

    Hello Sen,

    I have been reading and assimilating yours blogs since last nine months. Release and periods of bliss have been going in cycles, lately I also quit the job that I was not enjoying and I let it happen without resisting. But since last one month, it seems that I’m at square one again, I feel taken up by the mind and thus keep myself engaged in distracting activities and not relax. I feel it has become really difficult to let go or allow whatever arises amidst difficult outside circumstances. I feel fearful out of different reasons unlike before. It is like I have forgotten everything and I’m trying to clench back my earlier experiences. In that deal, sometimes I feel your posts are my last refuge and I search for articles based on keywords that relates to my present problem and I open up eight to ten posts and get busy reading them to find momentary respite. It has become a habit lately. I also find it difficult to sit for some time and relax.

    I wish if you could shed some light on what’s going on. I always feel thankful to you. And, I love you too…don’t mind. 😉

    1. Sen Post author

      Abhishek, you would need to let go of this mindset to force a relaxation, or the desire to cling to the states of bliss, rather you need to allow what’s arising to come up fully – the reason you are engaging in distractions is mostly to escape the experience of what’s arising in you (which are mostly the deeper layers of low-states of emotional accumulation, possibly sadness, boredom, meaninglessness and anxiety). Let go of looking for a temporary respite, and allow yourself to experience these feelings fully as they come up – it’s not that you are regressing, it’s just that a deeper layer of release is happening.

  12. Ian


    you’ve mention in your older post that the earth is concious and is moving towards balance/wholeness a few months from now… so how does the earth looks like (expectations) after reaching wholeness? And how does it relate to mayans phrophecy? that there is an alignment/transation of the universe itself towards stability and evolution, how does it affect imbalance people? Are they force and drag to wholeness? How about solar flare? Are they have positive significance towards shift and inner transformation/evolution of our world?
    Is it true that solar flare itself can help people release their emotional accumulation and evolve to wholenes by bringing down old negative thoughts pattern?

    1. Sen Post author

      Ian, as the vibration of earth shifts towards the higher end (of wholeness) this realm become more conducive to the “balanced” state of being, and less conducive towards deeply imbalanced states of being – so in that sense there is a stronger pressure towards balance, which is felt as a stronger sense of suffering when someone has stark imbalances, which simply pushes them towards finding balance (or if there is continued resistance it leads to their disintegration). The bodies need to get more attuned to this higher vibrational state on Earth, some do quite easily because they have low resistance to start with, some have to go through a phase of release to let go of dense emotional/mental accumulation. The solar flares are just a pointer towards the presence of “healing vibrations” provided to Earth, currently, to assist in faster transition, or faster dissolution of imbalanced vibrations or patterns.

  13. Chris


    What do you think about the idea that everything in your life is a choice and that for the most part you are free to do as you please?in my own life I realise I have caused myself pain and disease on occasion and have been quite meek,but in a way it was what I was asking life for.

    Also when you hold beliefs which you understand to be unwise but have a hard time letting go,what is the best move to make?and can you choose your own beliefs?

  14. renz

    hi sen i just wanna ask whats happening in my body if its still related to withdrawal symptoms as you said in your posts im worried that i have an illness/disease because i have not go to doctor for check up yet because of knowing that im in a process of letting go.. since ive read your posts and start letting go im aware that i will have a withdrawal symptoms to expect like to feel panic and restlessness so i continue the solution until now its been 1year ago since i start the process and im doing better now compare to the previous months but my problem now is im worried about my health.. in the first few months beside of feeling panic and restless i suddenly got a several boil in my butt and eyes it will gone for a week and will comeback it happens inside 4months after that it never come back again next my back neck is always in pain,in this past few months i got premenstrual syndrome symptoms and now my gums ache and there were a times it bleeds so heavy and im worried/confused i wanna know if its due to withdrawal symptoms?how long it will take?and i also want to ask if this process of releasing of negativities can spread/transfer to another person with physical contact?im also worried that it would affect my family specially my son:( that i will passed the release to them..hope ul help me about this:(

  15. Tyler


    The process of release can indeed be a struggle on the body and can bring up/trigger certain illnesses/dysfunctions in the body. However, some bodily diseases/illnesses are not just caused from the build up of negative energy in the body alone, and will not go away just from releasing past momentum/letting go. In such cases is may be wise to visit a doctor so you can become aware of the necessary actions that should be taken if needed, such as actions to avoid spreading/transferring the illness to another person.

    For example, I and a lot of other people living in the united states have whats known has herpes of the mouth/oral herpes (apparently 65% of people have it by age 40). Oral herpes shows itself in the form of cold sores around the mouth or on the lips and is contagious. An outbreak of it is triggered due to (research from searching google) high stress, emotional or physical fatigue, menstruation, pregnancy, injury to the lips from severe sunlight exposure or chapped lips, etc. In my case I had an outbreak (cold sore) before the release once, and then about three months later, the stress/emotional load of the release caused another cold sore to pop up, which for me is a short time frame for me to have two cold sores that quickly.

    As you can see, I did not acquire herpes due to my load of past momentum, it was acquired most likely through being in contact with someone who had the virus and had a contagious cold sore on them when I was a child. Just because I released my past accumulation of energy (or most of it) doesn’t mean it will go away because it still lives in my body. Now though I do have the benefit of not having the virus activate and cause a cold sore because I don’t stress as much as was needed to cause a breakout. However, the virus could still be caused by other things such as chapped lips, over-exposure to sunlight, various extreme temperature changes, etc. And also, I know this virus is contagious when it is showing signs such as cold sores so I could spread it to someone else through contact (kissing, oral sex, drinking off another’s straw, etc). Thus whenever I have an outbreak I avoid those activities that could cause me to pass the virus to another. Also, just because it came up due to the stress of letting go/releasing energy, it is still a contagious virus and can still be passed to others.

    I am not saying that you do or do not have something such as herpes, i am just stating that
    with regard to these bodily illnesses/dysfunctions you are experiencing, you will have to follow your own wisdom if to see if seeing a doctor is something you should partake in. You mentioned they never came back up again, and they might never come back up again or they may at a certain time. Again if you find it wise to see a doctor in order to gain awareness about if you need to take any other necessary steps to take care of yourself or not spread a disease/illness to others (such as your son) then do so. If you don’t think its really necessary at the moment then you don’t have to. There may also come a time later in your life when you may find it wise, such as if the illnesses return or if symptoms increase.

    With regards to the release, Sen has said its average 6-8 months, but it may take longer depending on the accumulation of the momentum from the past and how open you are to allowing the release. Eventually though it is just past energy and its momentum will fade, sometimes it just takes a little more time in some cases.

  16. Self

    If pursuit of happiness is suffering, what should be my state of mind if i am currently not as happy as I’d like to be?

    1. Sen Post author

      Self, the starting point is to be open to whatever that’s present/arising in you, even if its a low state of emotional/mental pain, depression, sadness, fear and meaninglessness – just the state of total openness to allow what is without trying to get away from it (in action or thought). This openness is what I imply by the state of allowing, and this openness brings you to a place of true integration of the light and dark nature energy in you, this inner integration allows for an inner balance which then starts reflecting in your external life.

  17. Michael

    I’ve heard a lot about losing weight during this, but how about gaining weight? I’ve been told that my colon is backed up and (several other explanations I forget) leads to me not absorbing nutrients, so I don’t gain much weight. My diet is filled with a lot of junk food and as a result, my stomach seems to be in bad shape with constant burping, heartburn, nausea, etc. so I would like to stop eating so much crap, but obviously willpower isn’t going to cut it.

    One more thing that I’ve wondered for months. In my childhood, I had a hangup with food. I would get nauseous, then have panic attacks, so there would be several day long stints where food was really gross and I didn’t want to have it. This wasn’t like a picky eater sort of thing, it was a repulsion. I’ve had quite a few of those stints since then, including into my teens. Sometimes they come up out of nowhere and sometimes they come up when my body is under a lot of stress (such as those long depression phases I had during unconsciousness).

    Those phases are quite unpleasant and have caused me to lose a lot of weight, even though I’ve always been skinny. My question is – are these phases of food repulsion driven by suppressed negativity and/or being carried over from childhood hangups? I’ve never been anorexic or anything like that, it’s just that food and the idea of it makes me sick. My twin used to get these phases, but hasn’t for 5 years or so. Nobody else seems to know what I’m talking about. Any advice?

    1. Sen Post author

      Michael, the energy of imbalance obviously will tamper with the body’s functioning. The repulsion towards eating could be caused when there is a strong surge of imbalance energy (especially one’s of fear or hatred) which can cause the organs (such as liver) to malfunction, or slow down functionality – when your liver is not doing well there can be strong repulsion towards food. Of course different bodies respond differently to imbalanced energy, in some bodies the imbalanced energy can cause the under-secretion of insulin, or even insulin resistance, creating more hunger and a constant craving for food. Also, a state of imbalance can cause you to disconnect from the natural wisdom/intelligence of your body (the wisdom gets suppressed by the momentum), which can cause you to eat in an unhealthy manner, it’s like the body/brain is oblivious to the feeling of toxicity until it goes above threshold to the point of causing indigestion and other digestive issues – also the proclivity towards junk food could be coming from a place of restless need for enjoyment or just a sense of lethargy, where taste and easy access is a priority over health. In a state of balance there seems to be a natural proclivity towards healthy eating (of course the food preferences is a personal thing, each body has its own requirements and seeks food that satisfies those requirements while also being aligned with agreeable taste), while also eating some not so healthy foods, now and then, in moderation, for entertainment and change – for ex, you may find yourself mostly eating wholesome foods while enjoying a packet of chips now and then, nothing goes overboard per se, and this eventually results in you reaching and sustaining a weigh that’s ideally suited to your specific body.

  18. Seeker

    I am experiencing love and sexual attraction as a part of release, am not sure if this is to be looked at as momentum or for real. I seem to be really deeply connected to this person. I also have a great marriage going. I am completely confused and dis oriented about this.
    Its been really bad for the past 2 or 3 months when I hadn’t confessed my love, but I found out that it was mutual.
    I am not sure what to make out of this .
    Long periods of separation are miserable and feel very low dealing with all this. Cant say wot to expect out of this. honestly craving to reach a place of power.
    Any other pointers for me?

    1. Sen Post author

      Seeker, attraction does not imply that you need to get into a relationship. A relationship (especially the one’s where responsibility is involved) is built over many factors, like practical compatibility, practical requirements, responsibilities and circumstances, and attraction (emotional/physical) is just one of the factors. You have to use your wisdom, and your objective thinking, to be decisive about your approach to relationships, because actions do have their consequences (even if the action just happens in the form of thoughts, day dreams). In order to be motivated from a place of wisdom you need to first have a sense of inner freedom. In this case, you need to have a freedom from the pull of attraction, so that you are not solely motivated by its force. Once you have a sense of inner freedom, you can look towards taking an objective decision, based on what you think is important for you. Developing inner freedom involves working with the state of allowing towards releasing the momentum of the force that you feel strongly influenced by.

  19. Williams

    Please sen, whats your view on “daydreaming”. Do you think that fantacy based thought(day dreaming) can attract any meaningful reality for an individual?
    For example, i grew up under so much emotional pain and agony, and daydreaming about the opposite of my emotional pain (i.e well-being) seemed to have given me temporal peace/calmness. It later became a routine for me to daydream now and then. One thing was obviouse, i still had thesame experience inspite of how i daydreamed.

    If fantacy base thought can attract any meaningful reality, why was it hard for me to experience a reality devoid of emotional pain/agony with the way i daydreamed about it?

    Doese Daydreaming in anyway fuel the momentum of negativity?

    I’v been open to the release of emotional feelings, i don’t know why it feels silly whenever i daydream this days… I don’t know whether it is because none of these things i daydream about has ever manifested or would perhaps never manifest.

    Please i need your clearance..

    1. Sen Post author

      Williams, you don’t have to use the “day dreaming” as some means to suppress the negativity. When you are working on the phase of release, of the past-momentum of accumulated negativity, you simply have work on the state of openness without using any suppressive techniques like affirmations or day-dreaming or visualization. Just allow the negativity to arise freely/fully in your mind, while staying in a space of openness (not getting identified with the negativity but not trying to change it into something positive, not trying to “feel good”), when a bad feeling arises just allow the experience of the bad feeling fully. Of course there is nothing wrong with day dreaming as long as your motivation is not one of trying to suppress the negativity of the mind through using it as a some escape mechanism (any form of escape mechanism eventually causes you to stay rooted in a place of fear or powerlessness).

  20. Basharat Ali

    I am very grateful for finding this site.

    I am going through this shift from ego to the space underneath the ego.

    I was very worried about this transition. I am not in a spiritual community or have a teacher, so felt quite alone with it.

    The ego is so frightened of the space, but it is getting used to it. I lose the ego in the space- but then it comes back.

    The question that worried me the most, was how to function from the space, how does that work?

    This article which sees it as a transition, helps me to understand that the very question of how to function comes from ego- but then it would- because the space is so different.

    I have suspected that the question -how to function in the space- is the obstacle to living from the space. It could be an attempt by the ego to not dissolve in the space- something like that.

    Anyway, it’s a confusing and very frightening time as I shift (into what?- into the unknown?).

    This article re assurred me I am going somewhere ( which is right here), and not just drifting into oblivion.

    The biggest challenge is allowing the process to run it’s course- let it happen.

    It’s easier said than done.

  21. Michael

    Hi Sen,
    Can you tell me if the state of wholeness (state of balance) is the same as the state of Nirvana in Buddhism and Hinduism? I know that Nirvana is the state of being free from suffering and attachments. So, is there any difference between the state of wholeness/balance and the state of Nirvana? When someone has reached the state of wholeness/balance through “allowing”, does it mean that he/she has achieved Nirvana?
    Thank you.

    1. Shiv


      Wholeness and balance are not entirely identical. Wholeness refers to that dimension within yourself that is deeper than your body and mind. It is your essence which is silent and immovable. It is pure and empty awareness without identity or prejudice. The process of awakening to a deeper sense of self is to become increasingly aware of this space of Wholeness that always exists within you. Releasing the mind’s momentum allows you to become aware of this space.

      The state of balance on the other hand, is the most authentic expression of Wholeness within the structure of our manifest reality. It is the closest approximation of what Wholeness would “look like” on the material plane.

      Think of it using this analogy. Imagine a humming bird sitting on a branch. This is the resting state. There is no movement, no change. The bird is at rest, at peace without any effort. This resting state is like Wholeness.

      Now imagine the humming bird begins to fly. If it is imbalanced in one way it will drift to the left, if it is imbalanced in the other it will drift to the right. But if it perfects its hovering it will manage to remain perfectly still in a single spot in the air. And so while the dynamics involved are radically different the end result appears the same.

      Similarly, if you are sitting on a chair there is no motion involved, you can be at rest effortlessly. Yet if you were to stand on one leg, you will begin to yo-yo from one side to the other to maintain your balance. A state of balance would be one in which you can stand on one leg as masterfully as if you were sitting on a chair. The dynamics involved require a lot more action and attention on your behalf.

      Which is why becoming aware of Wholeness is only half the story. To then reflect that into dynamic reality of everyday life is the second half : finding the balance.

      The nature of reality is such that there can be no “perfect balance”. We just continue evolving towards a finer and finer balance. The term Nirvana is misunderstood to allude to some “perfect balance” within this manifest reality, which is bogus in my opinion. Even the so called “ascended masters” are not impervious to disease and suffering while in human form. The ability to dissociate from pain or any other aspect of reality is not some supernatural achievement. The human mind can be taught to adapt to anything including pain.

  22. Michael

    Shiv, thanks for showing the difference between wholeness and balance. But I still have a question about the term Nirvana. You said that it refers to “perfect balance”, which cannot be achieved. But it is known that Gautama Buddha and some other people achieved Nirvana. So, maybe, Nirvana just means the state of balance and not the state of “perfect balance” (because then it would be unachievable). I think Nirvana is just a synonym for the state of balance. What do you think about it?
    Thank you.

  23. Shiv


    What I said was that Nirvana is often ‘misunderstood’ to refer to some static state of perfection. Instead, living a balanced expression of your own nature is a definition that is more realistic, yes.

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