A lot of words like “happiness”, “bliss” and “fulfillment” create a skewed imagination, in the mind, about what it feels like to have a space of inner wholeness. The deal with inner wholeness is that it’s a state of balance or stability, it’s not necessarily a state of a constant high where you jump out of the bed like an over-excited puppy everyday (there may be days when you do that but there are just as many days when you can feel a little blah about the morning). The physical body is not meant to be on a high all the time, and anyone hoping to achieve such a state of being has no real understanding of the biological and physiological cycles of the body – it needs the low cycle as much as the high cycle. If you can let your body “be” it will be fine, it knows how to balance itself, it’s just that we have perfected the art of creating an “artificial high” either through pumping chemicals into the body or some forced emotional high created through some “mind” technique. There are a lot of people who feel guilty about not feeling high – it’s as if they are committing a sin by feeling low. A lot of spirituality has also become a mindless pursuit of attaining some high-state experience, which is just “deluded” living.
Look around you at nature and you will see the art of “energy balance” at play – the spring is followed by autumn, if the trees were like humans they would make an effort to retain their blossoms through out the year, in order to “look good”, and finally get exhausted, because they missed the rest period given by autumn, and lose their capacity for quality blossoms. Nature, in its pure form, is naturally in a state of inner wholeness – this is the natural state of being of life-energy, the state of stability. Even Earth as a whole, as an entity, understands the need for balance and there are many ways through which she (well, they call it mother Earth) maintains harmony which to the human mind may look like disasters. So, when I talk about “inner wholeness” I am not talking about some “mind driven” state of enjoyment, neither am I talking about a physical high, neither am I talking about “feeling great” – all of these are “experiences” which are fleeting in nature, inner wholeness is the space of life in which experiences happen. This space is an aspect of you, it’s sometimes referred to as the “unmoving part” but in truth it’s also moving, dynamic and alive, it’s just that it’s “stable” energy – experiences are unstable energy formations that happen in this stable space of energy.
“Happiness” can be called an experience which happens in the space of inner wholeness, “Sadness” is another experience which can happen in the space of inner wholeness – however, when you are stable in your space of inner wholeness, both happiness and sadness lose their pulling power (their intensity or momentum), you are not in a place of “craving” happiness neither are you in a place of fighting sadness, both are allowed when they happen, they are both experiences/flavors of physical life. So, in a simple sense, I call “inner wholeness” as a state of balance where there is no dark or light polarity, while allowing these polarities on the surface. I think Mister Eckhart (a 14th century Preacher) gave a very accurate description for it – “a silent desert where distinction never gazed” – it seems poetic but it’s one the best ways to describe the space of inner wholeness, this space of life which is within all of us, it feels like home because it “is” your true natural vibration. You don’t attain it through force, you come to it by taking the backward step of letting go of your struggle-based mindset – through “total allowing”.
The practical value of inner wholeness
No-one wants to experience suffering, and the low states are considered to be suffering, and hence the desire to cling to the high states. But low states by themselves are not suffering, it’s only when their intensity is high do they become a source of suffering. For that matter even an imbalance in high states can become a source of suffering, over-excitement blunts your wisdom terribly and problematic accidents take place in this state. When the low-states lose their intensity, they are not a source of suffering, they are just passing, surface-level, experiences that don’t bother you within; in the same way the high states also lose their intensity and you are not constantly looking forward to the next high – you become a stable human, you feel a sense of “reliability” about yourself, you stop feeling so unpredictable within.
Inner wholeness is a pre-requisite for living in this physical world, it’s not a luxury. Without inner wholeness, physical living can easily be a nightmare – just imagine how painful it is to fall in love with someone and seek their presence in your life all the time, being a prisoner to their attention and time, it’s excruciatingly painful and a huge drain on your body’s energy/harmony, it’s a terrible state of neediness and people who’ve felt it know how horrible it feels (there is nothing poetic about it, nothing remotely romantic about it the way it’s projected in movies). This is just one example of how painful your physical life can be in the absence of inner wholeness. Physical living is rife with challenges created by the simple truth that only “change is permanent” and change always entails some form of dissolution, and dissolutions are very painful if one does not have the stability of their inner space. In fact, we resist “positive change” because we are holding on to an old, possibly incongruent, reality out of fear of not bearing the pain of its dissolution. Physical living is “smooth” when you have inner wholeness, simply because you are no longer influenced by the surface movements, be it thoughts, feelings or circumstances, while being fully capable to engaging in them and enjoying/experiencing them as a flavor of physicality.
What inner wholeness is “Not”
Let me elucidate a few things that inner wholeness is not, just so as to remove a lot of misunderstandings created by vague teachings in the name of spirituality or philosophy.
It’s not a state of being desireless – Desire is the force required for life to have “movement” and movement is what creates the experience of life, without movement of energy there is just death or nothing. Life-energy inherently cannot stop desiring, it’s very nature is one of being a creator, it enjoys creation. To say that “enlightenment” is a state of being desireless has to be biggest misunderstanding one can ever feed a student seeking clarity on life – if you buy into this misunderstanding you will spend a whole lifetime trying to be desireless without ever achieving it simply because it’s just not “natural” to you as life-energy. Inner wholeness allows, freely, your nature of desiring, it aligns you fully with your heart’s desire for expression and experience. It’s just that inner wholeness also dissolves a lot of “incongruent thinking” thus removes any deluded desire you might be holding – by “deluded” I mean a desire created out of your inability to know your heart, usually from a place of comparison or negative thinking of some form.
It’s true that, with inner wholeness, you are free of the “grip” of the desire, in that you are not craving it like a druggie craves a fix. The desire may be strong in the mind but the space of inner wholeness allows you to not be held by the mind’s angst about not having it at this present moment – this is what it means to be free of the hold of desire, but being free to desire. This is what the teachings of “desireless-ness” imply, though it’s always misunderstood if not explained clearly. Entertainment and creativity is the basic desire of every life form, it’s the very nature of life-energy to enjoy itself, and you need to get a sense of your preference/desires with respect to the expression and experience that’s congruent with you, and align with it.
It’s not a state of unconditional love – The term “unconditional” doesn’t even make sense in any way, be it in the physical or non-physical perspective. Everything is “conditional”. The only reason for a stream of consciousness (a creator) to love its creation is because it’s “its” creation, it’s personal, it’s a selfish deal. The consciousness that created this cosmos is in love with it because it’s a “personal” creation for it. Love is highly selfish, you can only love what you feel love towards, you can’t make yourself love because someone wants you to love them. Everything is “one”, that’s for sure, but it doesn’t mean you can love everything – you can only love as per your preference, and in this human form we all have our own preferences, and our preferences define our “conditional” love. Just because a certain teacher is in love with the “simple things” doesn’t mean that he/she has the right to tell the students to also love the “simple things”, it’s perfectly fine if you love luxuries of all kinds – it’s “your” preference that counts for you.
Stop trying to be “all loving”, it’s the biggest gift you can give yourself. It’s so pathetic to force yourself to love out of a concept that you “have” to be all loving. If you don’t love something feel free to move out of it, feel free to say “no” to it, that’s what it means to have an integrity or authenticity. Anyone who is asking you to “practice compassion” is basically asking you to be fake in some way, instead of asking you connect with your inner wholeness and let your natural love come through as per its expression in your human form. Compassion cannot be practiced, the moment you try to practice it you’ve already lost compassion for yourself, and you can’t give others what you don’t have yourself.
It’s not a state of perpetual “good mood” – The state of inner wholeness is simply an inner stability that allows the free movement of the surface level aspects of physicality, including bad moods, good moods and no moods. The intensity of your “moods” no longer penetrates your being, but you also lose the struggle to fight your moods – you just let yourself “be”. The fact that your moods don’t have a grip on your being ensures that you don’t feel unpredictable within, but this does not mean that you don’t have bad moods especially when your body has a low cycle going on. Suffering, as I mentioned above, is caused by the “intensity” of the low-state, and when you have a space of inner wholeness, within, the moods lack an intensity and hence are not a factor of suffering, they are just fleeting physical expressions. Stop trying to force yourself to be in a good mood all the time, it’s an “imbalanced” way of thinking – the low states are just as essential as the high states to maintain a balance of energy in your physical being.
It’s the suppression of the low-states or the over-indulgence in the high-states that causes the momentum of negativity to start building up. Suppression and over-indulgence are both imbalances, and imbalance is what I refer to as “negativity”. By itself nothing is negative, unless it goes into imbalance. Light nature can go as much into imbalance as dark nature, and both can be causes of suffering. It’s easy to admonish dark natured imbalances while not observing the suffering created by light natured imbalances.
Inner wholeness is the only solution to psychological suffering
Ultimately all short-term fixes end up creating some form of imbalance. None of this is a “pep talk” to get you through another day, it’s meant to be a pointer towards a lasting stability that frees you from the need for pep talk. I can basically give one answer to all questions on “how do I become free of this negative situation or negativity” – find your inner wholeness. Having relationship problems? find inner wholeness, Having financial problems? find inner wholeness. Having health problems? find inner wholeness. It basically is a “one stop” solution to everything that you find negative in your life. Inner wholeness makes you “self reliant”, you no longer have to depend on someone else to answer your questions, you no longer require “assurance” from the outside, neither do you need someone/something as a “crutch”. Of course, guidance is of immense value while getting to the place of inner wholeness, and questions, and seeking assurance, has a very important place in this journey – it helps expedite the journey if you gain the right understanding, trust or assurance.
The quintessential question is – how do I find inner wholeness. The answer is simple, through coming to a place of “total allowing”. The execution is simple – just allow what arises totally, within you, in your mind and in your emotional space, without fighting it, and you will naturally reach inner wholeness. If doubts arise allow the doubts, if pain arises allow the pain, if fear arises allow the fear, if hatred arises allow the hate, if panic arises allow the panic, if laziness arises allow the laziness, if inactivity arises allow inactivity, if confusion arises allow the confusion – everything falls into place if you just stay in the space of effortless allowing. Let go of the mindset of struggle, of fighting life, of waging a war within yourself towards “what is”. Once you hit inner wholeness you will feel free enough to engage with life in any way you want/desire/prefer, but until then just be willing to stay surrendered – only in a total surrender can a quick release take place, and this release, of the momentum of negativity in the mind and body space, is essential to find inner wholeness.
About the only use of a true teacher/guide is to point you towards the space of inner wholeness and then just be a source of “assurance” as you make the journey, because he/she has already seen the journey and understands it. The “essence” of this journey, towards inner wholeness, is always the same for everyone, only the degree of experiences may vary. At some point, you will no longer need a “guide” of any form, you feel self reliant and feel confident of making this journey on your own. You don’t want to be a “follower” all your life, you don’t want to feel the need for outside guidance for a lifetime, it’s just needed until you learn to walk on your own – just like a baby needs the support of parent to stand up, until it can stand up on its own. Being self reliant, within yourself, is the mark of a true adult, till then you are still a kid in some way. And being a kid is a necessary experience towards becoming an adult, no-one is born an adult, we grow into adulthood.
Sen amazing article, can you please give an example as to how over indulging in light nature can cause an imbalance and how this can be “negative”
Abet, consider “joy” – it’s a light nature in the mind – however, when you over-indulge in joy you end up emanciated and your over-excitement can also blunt your wisdom to the point where you end up taking unwise/reckless/irresponsible actions. A good majority of accidents take place under the influence of a “high” or over-excitement. Consider “love” – a light nature in the mind – when you love someone to the point of being unduly attached to their presence you become “needy”, your love becomes an imbalance and source of suffering for you.
Sen thats a wonderful article.. Thanks
Amazing!!! I have a big huge grin on my face thanks to you and your words. It seems to me as though every time I reach a realization you followup with a post on the subject matter! And, I would wonder aloud if you are following me?! This time, I knew beforehand it was time. I started looking for your article since last night but still you only delivered after I sat down with myself and laid it all out clearly 🙂
I think you are a brave soul, Sen, saying it all like it is and with full transparency, nothing less nothing more. I’ve not come across any teacher or religion who points to the way as clearly and straightforward as you do. Thank you a million times for you, your existence, your guidance and support. I am very grateful to you and your teachings.
total allowance & inner wholeness 🙂
I think total allowing is what is truly meant by the phrase ‘unconditional love’.
Wow! This one is my favorite. Thank you very much Sen. This really makes clear what I think a lot of people (including myself) get confused about. It is SO flippin’ SIMPLE!! Thanks for your guidance : ) And Happy Friday!
Great post!
So, let’s say for example if I have serious health problems (cancer or something) and I’m poor and homeless. Allowing all these things and negative emotions/thoughts within, happens what? Do you think if I were in that life situation and never had experienced anything better in my life, it will dramatically change to better? Or is it just nothing will change and I just allow my life and that’s it?
And another question about ancient withcraft. If back then people made spells how they worked? If making spell is actually from feeling of lack, how is possible to these spells work properly?
Quite simply, when you release your “inner resistance” (through coming to a place of total allowing) you (your body and mind) become open to being touched by the intelligence of your life-stream. What ensues is always “well being” – it depends on the situation as to what exactly is the course of well-being that comes through.
As for your question about witchcraft, I never mentioned that you can’t “create” from a place of lack. You can easily create reality out of hate and fear, using your mind’s focus, it’s just people who have such a focus also will have a similar reflection in their own reality – negativity attracts negativity – and of course their “spells” can only affect people who are already vibrating in a place of negativity (in a low vibration of fear or hatred).
Thank you!
Best…blog…ever
Another beautiful article!
Sen, I think I have a little trouble understanding how inner wholeness and a bad mood can co-exist. I guess I assume inner wholeness will come with inner peace, and why would I ever be on a bad mood if I had inner peace?
I also think because everytime I see the Dalai Lama, he is smiling, I assume once enlighted, you are always “happy” or at least serene…
I also have trouble understanding the craving free desire, maybe I have just not experience it yet…But if I desire something, I cannot see how to “detach” from the outcome on whether I am going to get it or not i,e a craving…
If you kept the Dalai lama awake for 2 days, without letting him sleep a wink, you won’t see him smiling very much – he would just feel cranky, his mind and body, out of exhaustion, would be in a low cycle and hence tuned attuned to irritation – so he’s not immune to bad moods, and what you see of the Lama in public life is only a fragment of his self, to assume that the Lama is ever smiling is the most naive assumption you can ever make, possibly out of a lack of awareness of what humanness is – we are all physical beings, with a body that can feel pain, hunger and thirst,with a mind that can be emotional and sensitive, these physical aspects are a part of physical experience. Inner wholeness does not make your body completely “anesthetic” or numb to pain, it just brings an “inner spaciousness” allowing the surface level experiences to ebb away in intensity – it allows a balance to exist between your space of being and your body/mind. The good moods and bad moods, not only lose their intensity, but they also don’t influence your sense of self or being – this does not mean that your body does not have its low cycles or that you won’t ever feel any sense of anger, fear or sadness, you don’t stop being human, it’s just that you are not a prisoner to any low states neither does it have any intensity in you, neither are you clinging/seeking towards any high states because you already have a sense of your natural vibration of wholeness all the time. You will not be a prisoner to your moods, but it does not mean that you won’t have any moods at all – it’s not about “extremes” it’s about “balance”.
Thank you Sen, I think -balance- is the keyword.
I also think it is time for me not only to allow my low states but almost to give myself permission to be irritated at times. Perhaps this permission is what is called allowing, because I let myself be frustrated, angry, etc and dont judge myself for being like that.
I love the example you put about the Dalai Lame being sleep deprived.
I was very tired this Saturday and my son was being defiant and I felt anger and frustration.
I let it go through my body and I allow my brain call me a bad mother, etc etc.
But I kneeled down, grabbed my son sternly but kindly and said “I know you want to be defient right now, but we are going home, and that is that”
We walked back home, him crying and me taking big breaths.
But all was good soon after…
Sen- Thanks for another great article ! two questions:
1) you mention ‘how does one find inner wholeness?’ the use of word ‘find’ implies again a sort of effort towards a concept which seems no different from finding/seeking a state of desirelessness or unconditional love etc. is there a difference?
2) what are your thoughts on why we forget this inner wholeness and get dragged into the high’s and low’s, even if we read about it, understand it, know that it is the right attitude? thoughts please !
Shivani, inner wholeness is just our natural state and the only reason we don’t experience it owing to the resistance created by our limiting thoughts or negativity in our thinking. So “finding inner wholeness” is the process of coming back to this natural state of your being by letting go of the layers of negativity that keeps you from experiencing it. It’s like “discovering” something which is already present but is blurred out by surface layers. The very point of this post is to mention that finding desirelessness or unconditional is a futile pursuit because that’s just a mind game of suppression, where finding inner wholeness is like releasing the mind game to sense your natural space of being. When you stop “trying” to be desireless or when you stop trying to impose ideas of unconditional love on yourself, there is automatically a release of “forced effort” and in this ease you start sensing the wholeness of your being – all the struggle of the mind (to be desireless or unconditionally loving) is what keeps you from sensing the state of effortless wholeness. Finding inner wholeness is not a mind game, it’s about letting go of the mind games to sense the natural state of being.
Why we forget our natural state of being is because when our consciousness focuses on physical reality (starting from your childhood) you become focused outside and lose touch with your inner space. The outside imposes conditioning, beliefs, limiting outlook, fears and limitations of different kinds which the mind soaks up, and your being is taken in by the pull of your mind because of it “compelling” arguments/perspective arising from this limiting external conditioning. It’s only when you become aware of the possibility of becoming free of the mind’s negativity that you start becoming “aware” of your truth as a free being – this awareness is what is called an awakening from the mind’s conditioned thinking.
hi sen.
i’ve read a lot of your posts and they’ve helped me a lot in my way to tackle ocd aka obsessive compulsive disorder.i’m just wondering would you be able to guide me more regarding this sickness?as i’m having hard time living with these obsessive thoughts that arise from time to time.please help me sen.thanks!
It’s not a sickness, just an indication of a high momentum of negativity in the mind. The state of relaxed allowing is all it takes to reduce this momentum to the point where it has no intensity to influence you, as mentioned in this post – Reducing mind momentum is the key
also I think everyone on that follows the blog should watch the film “the beaver” by mel gibson.. I think everyone will find it interesting and fascinating
Sen,
Can you explain the difference between negativity and struggle in life?
You discuss moving away from struggle in life. Do I move away from all things negative? or allow the negativity but not focus on it? Do I move away from anything struggle related?
Give an example please.
Struggle is a form of negativity, it arises from lack-based thinking where you think you need to struggle in order to attract an abundant reality – however struggle scientifically cannot create a sense of abundance within and hence cannot really create a reality of abundance (even if you make millions through it). Abundance is a state of being, not a material possession. This state of being allows you to attract material possession, but most people do it the other way round where they struggle to achieve material possession in order to feel abundant, it doesn’t work that way.
Instead of trying to push away negative things in your reality, from a place of fear or struggle, just focus on letting go the negativity that this reality instigates in your mind/being. This inner shift produces the outer shift. An example, let’s say you are in a dreadful job which saps your creativity and enjoyment, but you need it to pay your bills – the deal is that you attracted a job like this from your mindset of lack and presently this is your external reality, and it’s the platform from where you need to build a new reality but this time a reality that’s congruent with you. So, what’s needed is to first bring awareness to the mind’s negativity (lack based thinking), especially the thoughts that suppress the heart’s call, and start letting go of being identified with them – this release of inner hold allow your external reality to start dissolving so that a new reality can start taking shape, without requiring any forced effort on your part. Things seem to happen, and inspired actions come through that allow a new reality to take shape, it’s all an inner work, the total control is within.
thanks
Hi Sen,
I just wanted to extend my warmest thanks to you for everything you have written on this website. I now feel as if I have reached this state of ‘inner wholeness’ and although I am sure one way or another I would have got here, your website helped me get here far quicker than any other way than I can possibly imagine. Your wise words have worked wonders for me. Thank you again.
Vanessa
Hey Vanessa, may you please explain what life feels like to you in your current state?
Hi Sen,
I was wondering if you can explain what is happening with me now. I think I am getting close to the balanced state. I have days when I really feel the way you described wholeness in you posts. However, at the same time I keep encountering some kind of health problems and I wonder why now. I noticed that medications make me sick (I experience side effects I have never experienced before); I have a toothache that lingers. Even mosquito bites affect my body in a way I have never experienced (I get swollen up more than usual). Needless to say that all of these happen at the same time. How to reconcile all this with a state of wholeness. Please explain.
If anybody else experienced that, please share your experience.
Sasha – Depending on what the medication is for, perhaps you should consider coming off of it. I’ve been off my antidepressant for about a month and it feels much better. My teeth feel especially screwed as well.
I would imagine your body is just releasing toxins, so it is bound to create side effects. I’ve had a fever everyday for 3 weeks or a month, which I can tell is part of the process.
I think you may be getting confused, as feeling sick or whatever isn’t about “Quick, how do I get rid of it?” it’s about allowing it to be there, so it can have its’ stay as quick as possible, as well as freeing your mental impatience.
Thank you very much, Michael for sharing your experience.I took it as a sign to cancel medications and I did.
And you got it right about mental impatience. I have it.
It is a little bit lonely on this journey toward the wholeness. Any support is greatly appreciated.
Thanks again
Sasha
Sen , I must say I am addicted to your writings, the way u write inspire me & bring hope that one day everyone on this blog/forum will find the inner wholeness.