The brain references itself, and the body, as the “Me” and creates several thoughts about this “Me” thought based on its observation, interpretation, belief and conditioning. There was a phase in your life when the brain had a very vague sense of “Me”, this was during your childhood when the brain was just getting acquainted with its surroundings and itself – at this point there was very little “self awareness” in the brain. During this time the brain had very little judgment, it did not have many “opinions”, it did not hold a strong sense of separation, it expressed itself freely/innocently – this is the reason why a lot of people sense that they were carefree, lively and spirited during their childhood.
However, with age, most brains develop “self awareness”, some slower than the others depending on their brain’s intelligence (for example, in a so-called “retarded” brain there is much less self-awareness than other brains, because there is a lack of development of certain centers of cognition in such a brain). This “self awareness” becomes the birth of the “Me” thought – what is also called the “Ego”. The creation of “Me” thought is normal, natural, “as per design”, and inevitable, and it serves a very valuable purpose in your experience of physicality. The only problem is that your awareness gets so hooked up with this “Me” thought that you fuel it with all your attention thus giving it a huge momentum, and making it a “rock solid” thought, to the point where it feels like an entity inside you – this is what is meant by a strong Ego (Any thought you give attention to gets amplified and that’s what happens to the “Me” thought also).
This “Me” thought gathers a lot of force due to your constant attention to it, soon it gathers a huge momentum, and starts acting as if it has a life of its own. This “Me” thought starts gaining so much intensity, and animation, owing to your focus on it, that it starts feeling like a force living inside the body – and soon you feel at the mercy of this “Me” thought, and its intensity makes you a prisoner to it movements. This strong identification with the “Me” thought leads to the creation of a concrete Ego, that soon becomes dysfunctional because it’s based in separation and lack; it starts seeing itself as separate from life, and gathers enough force to oppose the pull of your life-stream – this causes the birth of strong insecurity, isolation, comparison, over-possessiveness, jealousy, greed, inferiority and a disconnection from your natural expression – all the ingredients of psychological suffering.
Dysfunction of over-identification with “Me” thought
If the “Me” thought is your only sense of identity, you can’t help but be rooted in insecurity and isolation. There is not a “Me” thought, in any of the brains around this world, which is free of insecurity (because this thought originates in the brain, and the brain is a survival machine rooted in fear). The intensity of insecurity can vary from person to person, depending on a lot of factors like conditioning, genes, social-acceptance and maturity, but no “Me” thought can ever be free of insecurity. Some “Me” thoughts can become extremely negative especially when they are denied social acceptance, approval and attention from outside – the whole deal of a “Me” thought soon becomes about “What others think of me”, and hence if you are accepted and appreciated your “Me” thought feels some temporary sense of happiness, if not it feels insecurity, dread, anger, hatred and inferiority.
When you are popular in your social circle, where you are admired, loved, appreciated, idolized, envied and sought after, the “Me” thought in your brain obviously feels “bloated” and happy for a while, but soon you become so addicted to wanting social admiration that it becomes a noose around your neck bringing deep insecurity and dread of the future – you can see this behavior explicitly in some “stars” who fall out of public admiration after several years of popularity; they become extremely disoriented and dysfunctional. Most resort to self-sabotaging behaviors (doing drugs or alcohol), while some even commit suicide unable to cope with sudden loss of social appreciation which they had become addicted to. The temporary “high” of popularity is basically a setup for the Ego to come to a crash when this popularity is no longer around.
When you stay fully identified with this “Me” thought, you are at its mercy – one day you feel good, the next day you feel bad, totally depending on how your “Me” thought feels about itself, which largely depends on how you are treated by the outside. When you are appreciated you feel good, if you are not appreciated you feel bad, and thus you become addicted to seeking appreciation/acceptance from the outside becoming a prisoner to it – this is the plight of anyone who is totally identified with the “Me” thought. You become a highly unpredictable person when you are lost in your “Me” thought, your moods and outlook can swing into extremes from moment to moment based on how your external reality is operating – this causes you to be a prisoner to circumstances, reacting to the outside and feeling constantly insecure.
Low vibration created by the “Me” thought
Awakening in its simplest sense is to have a sense of yourself beyond just the “Me” thought of the brain. Your life becomes extremely limiting, your perceptions extremely narrow, and your outlook highly shallow, when your only sense of yourself is the “Me” thought. The “Me” thought easily has its identity defined by your culture, country, race, gender, physical looks, mental capacities, belief-systems, status, personal memories and past-story – and hence it creates a very narrow, and distorted, lens to view life with. This “Me” has a place in that it allows some structure to your physical experience, and it provides for an “individuality” and personal perspective, which has a value in the scheme of things, in the wholeness of life – but if your sense of identity is fully taken up by the “Me” thought, or Ego, in the brain, it disconnects you from being in touch with the intelligence/wisdom of life and the sense of wholeness inherent to the space of “being”
A strong identification with the Ego (the “Me” thought of the brain) is basically at the root cause of all psychological suffering, inner resistance, anxiety and sense of isolation. The vibration of the “Me” thought is very rarely on the positive side in most people (usually not for long), it mostly has a strong sense of “negativity” based on its fear of future, self-hatred, bitterness, comparison and general insecurity arising from the fear/hate dimension in the brain. When this “Me” thought has a high momentum in your space of being, you mostly are rooted in this low vibration, leading to the attraction of negativity of different forms and a general resistance to the inherent well-being in your life-stream.
Knowing yourself beyond the “Me” thought
When you know yourself beyond the “Me” thought, as the wholeness of life, you get connected with your true nature. You are not the “Me” thought in actuality, you are the space of being/life-energy in which this “Me” thought operates, in which the brain operates. When you close your eyes (sit with yourself) you get a sense that all thoughts and emotions are happening in an alive “space” of silence which is actually the body of life – this space is your true body, and resting as this space allows the mind’s momentum to come down and also allows the dissolution of negativity within, simply because this space connects you with the intelligence of your wholeness, of totality. Resting as this space is what I refer to as a “relaxed awareness”, or openness, or “letting go” – it basically is all that’s needed to start freeing yourself from the accumulated negativity, resistance and the momentum/intensity of the “Me” thought.
When you find some grounding in the space of being, you find that the “Me” thought does not have such a strong grip on you (its momentum reduces), thus you feel more resistance free and receptive to inner guidance, you stop feeling like a prisoner to the vacillations of the ego in the brain. Since the “Me” thought has a huge momentum, it can easily take a few months before you start finding some space of freedom from its pull, the more you rest in the space of your being the faster you come to this inner stability – there is no short cut to coming to this place of wholeness, it follows pure “physics” that the momentum gathered by the past negativity takes time to ebb away. You can’t make this acquired momentum “disappear” suddenly, it has to go through a gradual dissolution as you stop fueling it.
At one point, you will start sensing a “balance” in you where you can enjoy the perspective of the brain (its preferences, wants, inclinations and desires), while also not being “tormented”, or moved, by its negativity. Also, a lot of the deluded desires in the brain (that were create from a narrow/shallow perspective) fall away as you start connecting with your inner guidance, and what remain are aligned desires that are congruent with your natural expression. This state is a harmony, where you have a clear mindedness/focus towards your natural expression in this physical plane and are also rooted in an inner wholeness on a permanent basis.