The Practice of Relaxed Awareness
The terms “awareness” and “attention” seem to have the same meaning and hence can be a cause of confusion when used in the context of thoughts. I’ve mentioned in many posts, and in comments, about staying as a space of awareness and allowing the mind to have a free movement – what I call “conscious […]
Link back to full article: https://www.calmdownmind.com/the-practice-of-relaxed-awareness/
Thanks so much for your response, Sen. I have noticed that all that comes up is fearful thoughts…thoughts of family members dying, losing them etc. Sometimes, as soon as I wake up, I notice these types of fearful thoughts racing through my mind. Then a thought comes and says, if you don’t want them to die…stop doing what you’re doing (just as an example: stop brushing my teeth, if i am doing that, and do this instead). If i don’t give in to that thought…more fear arises and i feel very shaky mentally. If I give in to that thought and start doing something else…then soon another thought comes in and says something similar. I feel pulled in both directions and very restless and agitated.
I use a guided meditation tape which bascially first pays attention to the the body and sensations and then it gently leads you to let go and watch your thoughts without getting involved with them with very gentle music playing in the background. In doing so, sometimes i sense a deep calm and quietude. I find it hard to sit quietly without the tape. Any suggestions… the fear based thoughts drive me insane….thanks…
Shi, what’s needed is for you to deepen in your connection with your inner being (as explained in this post – the space of being). Right now your awareness is held hostage by your mind, and its fear-based behavior/thinking. You have to allow your awareness to just fall into your space of being, and thus become more and more detached from the pull of the mind. The mind is bound to get into tantrums when it senses that your awareness is looking to detach from its influence, you will just need to ride it out with courage trusting in the power of your inner-being rather than fearing the threats of your mind. Don’t give in to its fears, just allow them while just staying in the space of being. You can follow a guided meditation, but since you can’t carry a meditation tape with you everywhere you go, it’s best to start grounding yourself more in the practice of just allowing without requiring any external support. It’s normal to feel uneasy initially, it’s about persisting with the state of allowing and giving yourself time to start seeing a progress towards inner stability.
Thanks Sen, that is very helpful. If I am understanding correctly, basically, relaxed awareness and the space of being are both pointing towards the same space of let go. Whatever arises, let it arise. The good feelings, the sad feelings, fearful feelings, feelings of being a victim, feelings of uneasiness etc. – watch them arise and pass without any intervention. And if the mind intervenes (in form of thought), watch that too and let it pass. Regular, conscious connection with this space will reduce the mind momentum / negativity. Hope I am understanding correctly…
Shi, that’s an accurate understanding
Hi Sen,
first of all, thanks for amazing articles. I am rather new to both your website and this topic in general.
I’ve had anxiety for roughly 13 years, the last 3-4 years it’s been pretty bad. I went to therapy, but after a while I felt this was just filling more info to my rational brain. It was not making me _feel_ different, and it was not making me accept or stop fighting my anxiety related thoughts. This lead me to checking out “Mindfulness” (Jon Kabat Zinn) – which eventually make me come across your website while googling.
I really, really like your ideas and wisdom, you have a great way of explaining things. My first question to you is basically what your take is on your ideas vs the concept of Mindfulness ?
Paul, mindfulness is basically defined as the practice of consciously “observing” the mind, or being aware of it as a detached observer. This practice is the initial step to growing in your power/ability to be aware of the mind without being unconsciously lost to its pull. As you grow in your power of awareness (through practicing mindfulness) you will reach a point where you feel that you “know” the various patterns that run in your mind, including the negativity that it churns out. However this awareness by itself does not dissolve the momentum, because even this awareness has a “judging” quality to it, where you are observing with a sense of distance and a sense of judgment. The next level is to be willing to simply “let go”, and just allow yourself to be open to emotions and thoughts that arise – letting go from this place of “acquired” power of awareness, is what I call a state of allowing (or conscious allowing). This conscious allowing connects you with your space of being (with your life-space) and allows the intelligence in your being to dissolve the negativity in the mind, and also causes the integration of the dark and light natured energy within you that may have gotten imbalanced through suppression of a certain nature of energy. I’ve mentioned the sequence of this process in the post – http://www.calmdownmind.com/reaching-a-place-of-total-allowing/
Hello Sen,
As I continue with the practice of allowing, I have become very aware of the constant battle of thoughts inside of me. Even while working, I am aware that thoughts and feelings are racing and creating a sense of restlessness within. Usually, very heavy feelings come to the surface and I feel very weighed down. Feelings of guilt, sadness and a general sense of unhappiness etc. No motivation to do anything. This has been going on for a long time now; the only difference is that before I came across your blog…I would try to divert these heavy feelings by consciously moving attention to something else or try to think more positively. The heavy feelings would dissipate but I never felt any better within. My memory, attention, focus, concentration and the level of general alertness are at an all-time low. Ever since reading your blog, I am not fighting these feelings and letting them be. They go when they go. Not to say that I am feeling any better. In fact, I feel very down and tired. How to not identify with these feelings? There is a pressure in the head space. Your writings keep me encouraged as they carry an intrinsic sense of honesty, simplicity and openness about them.
In order to connect to the space of being as you have suggested, I take time out and sit with my eyes closed; not doing anything. I understand well when you say that there is no right or wrong way of doing it. But when I actually sit down, I still keep wondering and on how to do it? Any suggestions…thanks a lot for your help
hi Shi,
I am someone who has been plagued by OCD for a long time. I have suffered a lot. I have been reading Sen’s article for a while and wanted to share my humble opinion with you.
There are few pointers that have helped me the most:
1. Mind is a survival machine. I have seen my thoughts and they are always rooted in fear/worry. Always trying to send me the fearful vibrations.
2. I am not my mind. Again, I am more than mind, a stream of consciousness. Funny, I sense it most the day after I have had a bad day. It is almost like mind has run its course and is calm and I can sense my consciusness better.
3. Mind is notorious for taking any pointers as directive and tries to implement it. Even the pointer to let go, I find myself trying to let go.
4. Any solutions that mind provides, comes from the same source which has the problem. Constant voices in my head.
What has helped me the most is to undertand that anything I do to calm my mind, mind will make a program out of it, and execute it. So I have given up on it and I do nothing and let things happen. It is not always easy.
I cannot say that I do not suffer anymore, but honestly I have been doing so much better.
Sen: I am sorry to jump in.
Thanks,
Anu, thanks for sharing your insights
Shi, you are on the right track with respect to “allowing” these feelings/thoughts their presence in you instead of trying to find an escape through “positive thinking” or activities. Of course, it’s quite evident that your emotions, and the imbalanced thoughts in the mind, have a strong momentum owing to past accumulation, and it will take time for this momentum to dwindle way (you should sense stability coming in within 5-6 months of practicing the state of allowing). Also, this process of allowing can be “exhausting” for the body (just like any detox is), this is mostly because the body not only has to allow the intense energy movement involved in the release, but also re-adapt to a state of higher vibration caused by the release – it’s best to take plenty of rest whenever possible to allow the body time to recuperate, to ensure it’s more comfortable for you.
It’s normal to have this sense of loss of motivation/drive during this temporary phase of release, this is mostly because the ego-force is dying away and your inner-being/life-force is yet to fully take over, so it’s a transition phase – you can sense “return of focus” towards the end of the release cycle and things fall back in balance/normalcy.
When you are sitting in a space of allowing, if a thought comes up saying – “how do I do it? Am I doing this right?” – just allow this thought instead of trying to answer it. This thought is produced by the “thinking mind” that wants to be certain, and the ego-force clings to this thought out of fear. If you let go of clinging to this thought, and simply allow the feeling of doubt or fear of uncertainty, you will no longer be fueling your ego-force and hence be able fall more into your space of being.
Thanks for your response and concern, Anu.
Of late, I sit down twice a day and just let go. There is no effort to calm the mind or fight what comes up; i realize what I am mostly prone to fighting are the fearful thoughts and the sense of anxiety that wells up along with them. Now I just let them be – instead of pushing them away or distracting myself. Sometimes a sense of calm and well being follows; at other times the thoughts just keep on coming. I just let it all be without getting involved in any meaning that the mind tries to attach to it. The followning response receieved from Sen (posted above) has seemed to help me a lot:
“The mind is bound to get into tantrums when it senses that your awareness is looking to detach from its influence, you will just need to ride it out with courage trusting in the power of your inner-being rather than fearing the threats of your mind. Don’t give in to its fears, just allow them while just staying in the space of being”.
At work too, during the day, I am very aware of the thoughts racing inside. I just let them be. Sometimes I worry that my mind is pretending to take care of matters by making this a practice and executing it (like you have mentioned above) and an uncomfortable feeling of despair follows; I realize it as just another thought and let the feeling be.
I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. It seems that Sen has helped so many people with his clear expression and his desire to reach out. I have come across this web-site only recently and feel very grateful to have found it. I keep reading his posts (so as to keep re-instating until it sinks in) along with the Q&A section and find it very insightful.
Thanks again Anu…stay in touch.
Thanks so much for your response, Sen. Although I feel like a ton of bricks, your responses keep me very encouraged.
As for thoughts, when I sit down, I notice many a times questions followed by answers (in form of thoughts) are coming by themselves without any active participation on my part. Sometimes I find myself clinging to a thought… trying not to get involved actively; and yet it happens. It feels like a conflict within. Like you said, it is normal to feel exhausted, unmotivated and not in sync with anything. Hearing you confirm that it is a normal process…keeps me going.
Thanks again…you have a gift of getting the message across very simply and accurately. In hindsight, I see that many teachers are expressing the same principle…but none so clear and simple as you.
Dear Sen,
I know you recommend ‘Ask & It Is Given’ but how do am I suppose to incorporate the processes (focus wheel, positive aspects, scripting) while just letting go? How can I attract my desired reality when I’m feeling negative during this phase? I have this HUGE fear that I will be attracting all the negative emotions I’m releasing. Abraham talks about working up the Emotional Guidance Scale when something arises, just soothing your resistance by thinking better feeling thoughts, but isn’t this counterproductive to letting whatever arises arise with interference?
Should I let go of my desire to with the faith that life will take care of it & connect to my space of being? And where does EFT fit into this?
Amia, that was the first book I encountered which talked, with some clarity, about the way your life-stream (they call it the vortex of creation) works in your favor all the time, and the amount of leverage you can get if you just start letting go of struggle (imposed by your ego-force) thus letting your life-stream gain more force in you. This book can be used to gain this perspective on the non-physical intelligence of your life-stream – and the reason I recommended this book is because the commenter specifically asked for some books to read. Frankly, the techniques they provide like focus wheel, journaling or positive thinking, can end up becoming a source of “struggle” by itself, when it’s being executed in a state of inner lack or imbalance due to the presence of a high momentum of negativity in the mind, or high emotional momentum – rigid techniques are not needed at all and just become means to strengthen the ego-force further. Rather, the state of allowing (or connecting with your space of being) is all it takes to release the mind/emotional momentum, which puts you in a place of being resistance-free towards allowing your life-stream to orchestrate your “external reality”. I’ve never used any techniques like EFT (which involves tapping certain nodal points on the body while affirming etc), because the emotional clearing gets taken care of by the state of allowing itself. Your being is well-capable of instigating a balance on its own (through dissolving the emotional/mental momentum), if you allow it, without the need for your mind to use/learn techniques for it.
Sen what about PERMANENT physical appearance changes? Like growing taller, acne, eye color, etc. Abraham has talked about it & said that it is very much possible because the body is capable beyond anything we can imagine.
I read in the comments where you told someone else that a plastic surgeon is just as much an expression of life as a healer. But is the body not capable of or intelligent enough to carrying out those changes itself?
I’m in place where I have low resistance, I have seen the unfolding of so much & it happens so seamlessly. And than this desire to grow taller came out of nowhere too & it was surprising because I love my height now, but it’s almost a feeling of indifference when I have desires where I don’t care what happens because I’m complete, if that makes sense. But my only problem (resistance) is this cynical doubt I have about my body being capable of such drastic changes. For example, right now I’m feeling shame for asking this, idk why. But I’m allowing it so it’s not intense.
Thank you.
Amia, the question you can ask yourself is – are you choosing to manifest a desire or is the desire controlling you. It boils down to how much inner freedom you have, and inner freedom comes from a place of being free of the mind’s pull, so that you have the choice to follow what feels aligned rather than be pulled around by the momentum of the mind. As you said, you feel “indifferent” to your desire, and have a sense of your wholeness – so in that sense, you can simply let the desire be and see if it does create any natural inspiration in you – by natural inspiration I mean a struggle-free inspiration where you don’t feel like you are moving from a place of desperation. “Trying” to believe a desire is simply an indirect statement that you don’t believe the desire – so it’s not about trying to prove to yourself that this desire has a possibility of manifesting, rather it’s about allowing the energy of the desire (if it’s present) in your being and see if it naturally creates some inspirations in you, for example, you may feel inspired to read something, come across some exercise or diet tips that can contribute to instigating the required physical action for grounding this desire (about becoming tall) into physical form. However, if this desire is simply about your mind asking you to “prove” your creating ability, then it’s mostly just a waste of energy for you (even if you manifest it) – it’s one thing to understand/practice your potential for deliberate creation as a choice, and it’s a totally different thing to be a prisoner to this tendency, where you feel pushed to keep proving something to yourself.
Hello Sen,
I continue with the practice of allowing…basically, I just sit down with the intention that I am dead with no control over my thoughts or feelings. Can still find the mind going after the fearful thoughts when they come up. There is a tenseness and a discomfort in the body. All this without any effort on my part.
You had mentioned to me in an earlier post that:
“What’s needed is for you to deepen in your connection with your inner being (as explained in this post – the space of being). Right now your awareness is held hostage by your mind, and its fear-based behavior/thinking. You have to allow your awareness to just fall into your space of being, and thus become more and more detached from the pull of the mind”.
What is the difference between ‘space of being’ and ‘relaxed awareness’? I constantly wonder if I should be doing it differently – should I first deepen my connection with the space of being or practice relaxed awareness and then total allowing. Where to draw the line? Being very mind oriented, I feel very confused by this…even though it does sound senseless. Any guidance on this would be greatly appreciated.
So at present, I try not to label my ‘sitting’. I just sit. I have some bad days in succession in terms that there is this tensed up energy in the body that I don’t know what to do with – it is significantly uncomfortable. I try not to be bogged down with this as you have assured all time and again that it is only a natural process of release. Then I have some good days…in terms that I feel very light and grounded. I try not to cling to this either remembering your adage – of not getting hooked on to these feelings as they will be followed by another release.
Any guidance…as always, thanks a lot for your help…
Shi, the state of conscious allowing should start becoming a more “involving” process if you are not resistant towards facing the truth of the negativity or suppressed emotions with you. You can do relaxed awareness and conscious allowing at the same time – for example, you can allow yourself to be aware of any mind patterns, or memories, in you that are causing a state of fear (as a practice of relaxed awareness) and then allow this fear energy, and thoughts, to arise freely in your being (this is what I call the space of being), to allow a release of its momentum and possibly gain an understanding/insight into finding a release from this pattern. Basically, freedom comes through consciously facing a pattern which you may be afraid of facing in you and this is part of conscious allowing, in that you allow yourself to face what you’ve been suppressing. Anything that you don’t face consciously will keep re-cycling within you. When you are willing to face what arises without resistance, you are basically resting in your “space of being”. I hope you understand that is not a “magic” process, rather it’s a conscious process – it’s not about using this technique as some magical means that will dissolve your inner conflicts without you having to face them consciously first. If you don’t face something consciously, your space of being cannot touch it, and hence it cannot dissolve the pattern. In your case, the sense I get is, that the patterns may have to do with fears, guilt, powerlessness/helplessness and some thoughts based in an imbalance of light nature. It’s possible that you’ve lead a life imbalanced towards light nature, where you find yourself to be overly sensitive and fearful, possibly leading to forms of victimization by the outside. You might also be oriented towards a struggle based life coming from a place of self-denial (owing to your imbalance in light nature). You would need to face these imbalances within you, and bring awareness to these patterns of fear in your being, you would also need to allow the expression of dark nature components in you that you may be suppressing (which can involve connecting with your sense of inner power, sexuality and personal drives) – all this is part of conscious allowing, it’s not a passive process of just hoping that everything will dissolve without requiring a conscious involvement on your part.
Sen,
why is that allowing and/or intelligence, or, I don’t know how to call it – comes … well, it seems to me that it comes on it’s own accord. I just woke up in the morning, and… there it is. Space. Free flow. No thought can touch me. I like the term “choiceless awareness”. Or in preparing food I just feel that blooming of intelligence which cuts through all thoughts. I’m not doing anything. Or I walk, and suddenly…
Also, when I try to allow, it somehow… I can’t do it. It happen when I shock myself somehow, like “enough is enough”, but like it is not some decision, it just comes, it comes like a call – stop being a child, or something like that. Be serious. But, not be serious in dead sense, but be serious in terms of finding out the truth.
So, is it possible that all this business is not in my jurisdiction? Which is maybe another proof to just – let go.
And, if a great fear arises, and resistance with it – I just need to allow resistance first, am I right?
Thanks for your response and clarification, Sen. Essentially, I am doing what you have described above. Sit and let whatever comes up, come up without trying to push it away or get involved in it. I find that a lot of thoughts / instances from the past well up and linger on. Some are fearful, some painful, some neutral, some pleasant etc. I just try to let them play through as they arise and subside. Is this conscious allowing? Will the momentum get released on its own accord by simply letting them play through? Some thoughts of the future, when they come up, are extremely fearful and I find it very hard to face them as they arise and I find myself backing off. How to deal with this?
I understand when you say that this is not a magic process (although secretly wishing that it somehow was); but I really want to see this through as I am fed up of all the negativity and lack that I have collected around me in most areas of life; I have become conscious that I live life in such fear that I sub-consciously choose to be disinterested in everything. And your posts intuitively point me towards freedom. They resonate within…thank you so much.
The part that I don’t really understand is where you have mentioned that:
“You would need to face these imbalances within you, and bring awareness to these patterns of fear in your being, you would also need to allow the expression of dark nature components in you that you may be suppressing (which can involve connecting with your sense of inner power, sexuality and personal drives) – all this is part of conscious allowing, it’s not a passive process of just hoping that everything will dissolve without requiring a conscious involvement on your part”.
How is this to done? From what I understand, I can be aware of ONLY whatever comes up in my consciousness. How can I allow the expression of the suppressed dark nature components, as you say – if I am not aware of them? How do I become aware of them? And let’s say that if and as I do become aware of them in time, what do you mean by “allow the expression”? Would you please guide? This may sound like an inane question…but really what am I to do other than just consciously allow whatever comes up? Am I missing something? Thanks a lot, Sen.
Shi, the reason I say “conscious allowing” is a highly involving process and not a passive technique is because it’s a means through which you can allow yourself to explore all the facets of your being at a deep level. Suppression happens for two reason 1. fear 2. ignorance. Once you consciously start “allowing” the feeling of fear, instead of fearing it, you will soon be able to see through its limitations and hence will no longer feel so fearful of the feeling of fear. “Ignorance” is simply the result of narrow thinking, where your awareness is limited to your beliefs, conditioning and influences of upbringing (the way you were brought up as a child) – you need to develop the attitude of “exploration”, where you are willing to explore yourself, your brain’s makeup, your desires, your preferences, your sense of adventure, instead of simply living life as per some belief/rules that you may have accepted as your bible. In order to “explore” yourself you need to a balanced “selfishness”, or else you cannot explore yourself. Selfishness can be seen as a dark nature aspect, and your mind may be avoiding it and may be trying to be “selfless” or “egoless” in some way, living in a state of self-denial.
A balanced selfishness is needed in order to find alignment with yourself and your life-force. You need to willing to allow changes/transformations in your personality, in your reality and your lifestyle as you enter into a journey of inner exploration, and for this you need to have an openness in your being – if you are dominated by guilt, insecurity, over-sensitivity and an attitude of self-sacrifice, you cannot have this openness. You have to allow these forces of resistance (like guilt and fear) to lose their grip on your being by no longer identifying with them when they arise and thus allowing their release. I mentioned that you don’t need to cling to the high states as they arise, but that does not mean that you don’t enjoy it or connect with it – it’s important to connect with your joy dimension and explore the things that bring you joy (a part of aligning with balanced selfishness). It’s very possible that most of your imbalance is related to the fact that you are not connected with your joy dimension, mostly because you’ve be run by internal fears about living from a place of freedom. I cannot give you a “how” as a technique, I can only give pointers or “understanding”, and you need to use this understand to see if it expands your awareness of life and yourself. “Allowing” is not a technique, it’s a pointer towards “openness” – that’s all, it’s just that most people take it as a technique. The reason why I even suggest that you practice “allowing” for 30 mins a day, is simply as an initial step to give you a sense of your “being” – you don’t have to do it as a practice at all. Allowing has to be a way of life, where you are open in your being to release any fear that arise, to release limiting thoughts by allowing them to arise in your consciousness, to allow an exploration of the various dimensions of your brain. Suppression is the opposite of freedom, and allowing is simple a pointer towards inner freedom.
When you are in a state of allowing, everything that needs to become “conscious” will arise, but it’s upto you whether you simply try to hold distance and hope that it will all go away, or you have the openness to explore the feelings and the thoughts and see if there are questions and truths in there that you may be avoiding in your life. Allowing is not a state of holding distance, it’s about being open to what arises, without necessarily identifying with it, but a willingness to see it for what it is so that your awareness can touch it and know the truth in it. You can consciously involve yourself with thoughts and feelings, without being afraid of them or being unconsciously lost to their pull – when you involve yourself consciously, you can explore and find out the truth behind everything. Ultimately, it’s the truth that sets you free, as long as you keep holding distance (out of fear of facing/feeling what arises) you cannot really know the truth of it in your being. For example, when a feeling of depression arises, you don’t have to become totally identified with it, but you can allow it fully and “explore” it consciously – what is this feeling about, is it just a bodily feeling or is it instigated by certain thoughts? If it’s instigated by thoughts, explore what the thoughts are, are they pointing to some truth that you are trying to deny/avoid in your life? Is there a fear behind this depression, a fear that you are trying to avoid? If its a bodily feeling can you simply allow a full expression of this feeling in you instead of trying to distance yourself from it, and see if this feeling is really as a bad as your mind initially makes it out to be? This is what it means to consciously involve yourself while allowing what arises without being lost to it.
Thanks again, Sen…I re-read the post (Practice of Relaxed Awareness) one more time and for some reason now…the process that you have described seems fairly simple. Just resting in your own space…allowing the mind it’s free movement…without identification. It is only when I try to make it into a rigid practice of some kind…it appears complicated.
Exploring thoughts, feelings and disturbances, as you have suggested, still sounds a little complicated (for lack of a better word). But I will try…and let you know. Thanks so much, Sen. I do agree that fear dominates my life and I find myself stressed over the slightest situations. I will try to explore this feeling of fear. Thanks again…much gratitude.
Hi Sen,
I have some questions but I have to share some things first.
I think I have some strong belief in me which I know is wrong that I have to have an imediate relief of the symptoms – I kind of expect it.
When I was a child I was living in a story created by my mind and I believed it completely. Then when I become 14 years old there was an awakening – as I remember it, it was all that you describe it – I was living in the present moment, I had accepted everything that I thougth previously about myself – all my bad characteristics, suddenly life felt so real, so colourful and full of sensations, my mind was very clear – I didn’t expect this to happen. It was at the end of a very boring summer vacation and it happened because I decided to share with my mother something that I previously would feel very defensive about – just this time I tried a different route.
Sadly for me now this lasted about a week and then I somehow got overexcited about it and lost the feel what was this. I felt I had forgotten or I don’t know how to explain it exactly but I got scared. My life after that was a constant struggle to achive this state again, I forgot about my previous worries and thougths about life – now my goal was different but my thinking was just as it was before the awakening.
I think this memory about this period is interfering with the practice of relaxed awareness because I really want to achieve something, I remember how good it was, I remember the relief that I felt while most people, I don’t know really but I guess they don’t expect so much and it’s easier for them to do it.
Even if I am not trying to do anything I am still struggling. I often get a headache and feel a bit like poisoned after the 30 minutes. Other times I fell asleep and thougths start to become dreams and I can feel the struggle even in the dreams. Also in the daily life I always try different strategies to remember what it was, to play with my brain, I’ve become quite a passive person, constantly living in my mind.
Should I continue to do it despite all of these difficulties, are there any people for whom this practice can be counterproductive?
Thanks
Hi Sen,
I’ve bee practicing relaxed awareness for 2 days and every time I do it, no thoughts of fear or “all the problem-ideas” that I usually have during the day, are not coming. Or they are coming just “small” ones…
Is it because I’m making effort in that I’m waiting for thoughts to come and I’m not really relaxed in this sense? (I’ve a feeling that partially I’m afraid of my thoughts now also, because 2 months ago I had a depression and all the thoughts that I had that time have sucked up my energy).
I also practiced “zen” meditation, so every time an idea comes, I’m used to come back to stillness again when I notice them. So I’m like used to supress them now.
So, how can I stay in relaxed state and not be drown in the thoughts and not try to interrupt them as in zen meditation? Could you please give me an advice?
Thanks
F, you must understand that though I use the term “relaxed awareness” it’s not meant to be a technique to “relax” and be passive, rather it’s a pointer to be “allowing” – relaxed-awareness means an awareness that’s totally allowing of what arises, in a fearless manner, without trying to suppress and without giving in to the pull of the momentum (of mind/emotions). You’ve just started the practice of relaxed-awareness, so you would need to give yourself more time with it (it takes time for this awareness to grow within) – you will notice that soon enough the barriers will be brought down and the suppressed emotions/thoughts will all start coming up, like a room that’s being lighted up which reveals all the objects therein. Don’t “try” to be still, that’s not freedom, that’s just discipline. There is a natural stability (what I call unwavering peace) that comes in when you’ve released the momentum of imbalance. You’ve have to develop the willingness to be “fearless”, to be open, instead of seeking refuge in a forced silence/peace, it’s a choice you need to make – if you are truly open to a release, the release will happen, but for that everything that’s suppressed needs to come up in your consciousness, and you need to be open to allowing it.
Dear Sen,
thanks for response, and references to Adyashnti and Mooji in other posts, their vids help me too.
Have a nice day.
You know what , im a 17 year old who has been suppressing my mind for the past 2 years, due to past bullying. Iv become aware and feel GREAT! Everything is starting to come naturally , and iv only been doing this for a few days. It really doesnt seem real how someone could figure this whole science out, but i appreciate it greatly. I really wish more people were exposed to this website. Thanks alot for letting me finally love living and teaching me how to finally start working towards being myself.
First of all, thanks for the bringing us the informations that really works.
Just one quick question here, when do we use relaxed awareness? Is when we feel the negative vibe in our body? or even when we are feeling good?
thanks a lot
Axrain
axrain,
This article can be of help with regard to if your wondering about using relaxed awareness to dissolve negativity: http://www.calmdownmind.com/what-is-awareness/
The last section talks about how awareness works with letting go to dissolve negativity.
Also, relaxed awareness can be used at any time with regard to any aspect of life, be it negative vibes or positive vibes, or even to understand mechanics of how something works (such as law of attraction, or even something such as mathematics). The point is awareness doesn’t have to be used for just dissolving negativity. From what I have noticed awareness originally for me was about dissolving negativity, but now I see it can be used to gain understandings of areas in life, such as gaining awareness about how light and dark natures work through openly watching them and observing how they/life works.
Relaxed awareness is a practice to connect with your being, to sense the intelligence that exists beyond our mind. It is recommended to spend 30 minutes a day practicing relaxed awareness. But remember it is nothing more than a pointer to relax and just be and not really a practice. Our minds will make a practice/technique out of it, but so is not what the pointer implies.
Hi Sen,
I would like some clarification please and hope you can help.
In one article you mentioned that our ‘attention’ is the fuel for thoughts; if we give negative thoughts our attention, it amplifies the negativity, but if we deprive a negative thought of our attention then it ebbs away.
On the other hand, you mention that when a thought arises in the mind we simply watch the thought and allow it to be without getting involved in it. But doesn’t watching a thought require attention? How do we deprive a thought of attention when we are supposed to watch it?
-thanks
Joe
Joe, the way I use “attention” is to imply the state of unconscious interest/belief/association/identification with a thought – may be “unconscious attention” would have been a better term. In a state of aware allowing one is not lost to identification, one is simply “open” to what arises. Identification is what causes the “re-fueling”, as does suppression – an aware openness allows a release.
Hi, I have been trying to ‘fix’ my mind now for a while and I think I could be over thinking everything. Is it a good sign that I am feeling a lot of fear at the moment, maybe 3 weeks after I started trying your approach? I’m feeling a lot of fear that I can’t figure out and I also feel irritated and agitated at times, especially in the morning it seems. Does it sound like I am on the right track and these are sympthoms of my minds survival instincts? Thanks in advance. Great sight with a lot of useful information. Would I be right to say that we should hear our minds but not listen..would that be the difference between attention and awareness?
Sean
When I had a moment of awakening, realizing I am not my space of thoughts, I spent a good time watching the mind without being influenced by it. Now that that “euphoric” moment of realization has passed, things kinda went back to “normal”.
My space of being still feels very “slippery”, most of the times I’m fully identified with the mind and giving in to it’s doubts and specially trying to answer them. Then there are times where I simply snap out of the thoughts, and I cant define what I feel in these moments. It’s kinda like when you’re having a nightmare and then suddenly wake up and feel a deep relief because you know that was just and illusion and nothing really happened with you. Except that the nightmare continues, but you know it’s all bogus. :p
It’s a unique sensation, a sense of complete fearlessness towards anything happening, where everything feels like a minor concern because you simply don’t care and fear what will happen next.
Dear Sen.
I have fully understood the pointer to conscious awareness and conscious allowing. – “CONSCIOUSLY INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, WITHOUT BEING AFRAID OF THEM. EXPLORE AND FIND OUT THE TRUTH BEHIND EVERYTHING”
What about the feeling of over excitement? I experience frequent bouts of over excitement? Is it okay to just bring an awareness to this behavior or find the truth behind this?
Also I have a fear of my car getting into an accident. This fear is because a lot of accidents take place in this country and the police procedure of getting it repaired through insurance are lengthy and time consuming. Is this the cause of my fear of car accidents or do i need to explore this fear?
You also mentioned about “BODILY FEELING” of depression. Does this mean increasing heartbeat, sweating, heavy breathing etc. I have such bodily feelings without actually knowing the root cause.
Ahlan, over-excitement is basically the momentum created through a lack of balance towards the dimension of boredom and possibly an imbalanced pre-occupation with the dimension of joy. I talk about it in the post – The Resistance of Over-excitement
As for your question about the fear of accidents, this thought is basically one the “catalysts” in you towards unearthing your imbalanced fear-energy. When these thoughts trigger anxious feelings in you, just be open to the feelings, don’t try to “think positive”, just stay allowing of the fear-energy fully without trying to hold distance. This openness will eventually cause the intensity of fear to keep ebbing away while also developing an inner freedom in you towards fear.
Sen, if I understood your comment correctly this means that whatever anxious thoughts we have are just a “catalyst” or “entrance” into our fear-energy and this would mean that working on specific fearful thoughts or fears through for example reasoning or changing ones point of view would just change the belief/thought – but we wouldn’t actually have an impact on the imbalanced fear-energy in our being/mind itself, and it would find another thought to trigger the same underlying energy again? Is this correct?
Sen,
Is your space of consciousness the same as your soul?
LQ, you can read the recent post – the experience of finding balance, there is a detailed section on what I mean by the term “consciousness”. It’s simply the capacity of awareness that’s present in you as a soul/being.
Hi Sen,
Your wisdom and generosity in sharing your knowledge is just amazing. You have helped myself and so many others.
I just need a little clarification on the practice of relaxed awareness. A person and a situation has caused me much mental distress the last couple of years. I started practicing meditation and other spiritual teachings since a year ago and have greatly reduced the stress that I’ve felt. But it’s still there at times and I know the situation will persist as long as I don’t let go completely. So, I’m now practicing relaxed awareness to see if I can totally eliminate the negativity but I’m not sure I’m doing it correctly. Meaning, I’m at a point where if a thought about the person or situation enters the mind, my awareness recognizes it very quickly, knows it’s negative and immediately moves to another thought. Now is that suppression which I know is counterproductive (even though it’s almost automatic so I don’t feel like I’m suppressing) ? I mean isn’t it good that I’m not letting the thoughts overcome me and the negativity to infect me like before? Or should I let the thoughts flow out more freely, to allow them to arise, even though it feels bad at first, so that I can allow the energy to fully dissipate? Sometimes, when I’m in awareness, I feel like I have to intentionally bring about these thoughts in order for them to surface. Is that what I need to do, bring them about and then allow them, so I can totally eliminate the remaining negativity about the person and situation once and for all?
Kin, you can notice that deep down you know that you are afraid of these thoughts and in that sense you are currently using your “awareness” to escape these thoughts (by trying to substitute thoughts when the fearful thought enters your mind). Now that you have a decent level of awareness, you will need to enter into a state of allowing where you simply allow the fear to arise freely in you without trying to escape it – allow the thoughts, allow the emotions associated with it, in the space of openness. The very term “relaxed awareness” means that your awareness is not on guard, it’s not trying to be protective, rather it’s in an open state. When I use the term “relaxed” I don’t mean that you need to try to “feel good”, rather you just need to allow what’s arising freely, without resistance. If stress arises, just allow yourself to feel the “experience” of stress without trying to force yourself to relax – the openness to experience the feelings/thoughts is what I call “relaxed awareness”. It is in this openness that a release happens, and this openness is what slowly grounds you in a state of inner power.
Sen, Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. You are right that my guardedness is coming from a place of fear. While escapism works most of the time, the same feelings and emotions emerge when I’m unconscious and the thoughts arise, which is why I know I am still not completely free. But from there, it’s easier for me to practice the allowing as I’ve permitted the fear and emotions to surface already. I will work on being open during relaxed awareness practice, the awareness part right now keeps a lid on the emotions, but I understand the need to fully engage these thoughts and feelings if I am to be totally free. Thanks again.
Hi Sen!
During the phase of release,I mainly experience unusual physical sensations as if someone is pulling my face or head to one side;as if there is a strong force in different directions.The thoughts and feelings are very minimal compared to these forces.And most of the times,I feel pent up anger post this phase,Sometimes I lose my temper over small things,which I wouldnt normally do.Am I on the right track?
Thanks for sharing your knowledge !
Something new happened to me a few days ago.
I woke up, and the first thing I felt was what I can only describe as a “this is what I’ve been missing” feeling. It felt great, but my brain started to really freak out. Then it felt like “I” was being sucked into oblivion, and I shut down. I could not slip into that great feeling, though I was aware of the choice to do so, and could feel the duality of these forces as a very distinct pair.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, or since.