The Descent of Awareness in You

Posted on by Sen.

Each of us is at a certain level of awareness and the outlook/preferences we have at any particular point in our life is determined not only by our external conditioning, and natural make-up of our brain, but also by the level of awareness that’s present in us. As the level of awareness keeps increasing in a human, it also transforms his/her outlook on life – the desires that felt really important at one point suddenly lose importance, the opinions and point-of-views that felt so true suddenly lose validity, the goals and aspirations that seemed vital suddenly seem to lose their grip. In fact, this awareness has the capacity to transform your personality altogether and completely shift your perspectives on life.

A lot of people going through this inner transformation, owing to the deepening of awareness in them, may feel “disoriented” because this process involves a disconnection from their old way of being, from their old preferences, outlooks, desires, perspectives and personality. This feeling of “disorientation” can create a sense of aloneness, confusion and anxiety, when one does not realize what’s really going on. People who are going through this inner transformation and are experiencing a sense of disorientation need to realize that there is nothing “negative” happening, and what’s really happening is a “positive maturity” which will allow you to experience life in a more wholesome and connected way.

Have you seen through the play of physicality?

It’s very common, when the level awareness becomes very strong, to see through the whole “play” of physicality and realize a deeper “meaninglessness” in all of it (not in a negative way but as a clear observation). You suddenly see in a very lucid way that all experiences are fleeting, that all realities dissolve at some point, and that there is a limit to the gamut of our sensations, our feelings, our emotions and our sensory perceptions. A sense of “been there done that” is what becomes apparent in your awareness and suddenly nothing really seems to have any real pull over you, no desire feels important enough, no experience seems enticing enough and no activity seems alluring enough. If you’ve not reached this place in your awareness, it might seem like a “negative” or depressed place to be, but I assure you it’s not. And anyone who has sensed this place will know that it’s not a depressing place but one of a deep “relief”, with a sense of freedom and peaceful joy.

I call this place “effortless existence” because whoever gets to this level of awareness usually becomes totally effortless in their movement. There is a sense of “free energy” in such humans, their energy is no longer pulling or pushing against anything, but is in a totally relaxed state of being. A spiritual teacher called Nisargadatta Maharaj used the following words to describe this place of being – “I allow my physical being to fulfill its destiny, I rest as my Self”. Eckhart Tolle calls this place – “Resting in the Now”. Adyashanti, a renowed spiritual teacher in the States, calls this state of being as “Emptiness dancing”. Gauthama Buddha called this state of being as – “No self, No suffering”. Many teachers have expressed this place of being in different words and terms, but essentially this is the place you will finally end up at when you really allow your awareness to deepen inside you. Inevitably, this is where the descent of awareness in you finally rests.

How does life unfold from this place?

You will find that you are no longer pulled by any specific desire (there is no craving), but aligned desires, or thoughts of creation, arise in your mind and move towards manifestation. You will find that you are not longer willfully motivated towards any action, but all required actions will taken by your body at the right time. You will find that you are no longer holding on to any rigid beliefs or opinions, but if required you can give an opinion on a topic (though you wouldn’t feel a sense of self in the opinion). You are no longer awaiting a future experience to fulfill you. It’s almost like your body is moving through the motions of physicality while you rest in the space of “being”. Adyashanti expressed this poetically, in one of his writings, in this manner – “you become like a leaf that sways with the winds without any questions or resistance”, the wind being the movement of your life stream which is always in harmony with the totality of existence.

This is not a state of “inactivity” but a state of harmonious activity or effortless activity. You don’t become a recluse, on the contrary you might become more intimate with this world. You don’t become careless, on the contrary there is a movement of responsibility but not in the old fear based way. Your life does not become disintergrated or chaotic, on the other hand it becomes more integrated, harmonious and organized but in a totally strain free manner. Anyone who has had a taste of this place will know what I am talking about. In the path towards reaching this place, there is a phase when everything feels “disoriented” because the old way of being starts disintegrating to get to this new place of being, and this transition can be quite challenging if one’s mind interprets this process negatively.

Surrendering to this transformation

To get to this place one needs to allow awareness to touch their humanness in a deep way, allowing it to see through all the aspects of the human consciousness present in their mind space. This is one reason why the movement of awareness is sometimes referred to as an “emptying away” of the cup, because essentially what happens is that this awareness burns through all the rigid beliefs, hang ups, narrow opinions, unquestioned perceptions and false securities. Once the descent of awareness starts in a human being, it does not stop until it reaches this final resting place – if you have been resisting this movement in you, out of fear, or from the anxiety of the disorientation, I would suggest that you let go and allow yourself to surrender to this process taking place within you.

If this post did not make any sense to you, it’s totally fine because it just implies that you’ve not sensed this place yet and so cannot comprehend the dichotomy of it. We are where we are right “now” and our comprehension/understanding is always limited by our level of awareness. There was a time when I used to listen to spiritual teachers talk about this place and I thought they were preaching impractical living and was skeptical about such a possibility, it’s only through my own personal experience of this place that I realize the essence of what they were pointing at. I am sure there may be some readers who are going through this inner transformation, and moving towards this state of being, and this post may serve as an assurance that a very positive process is taking place in them.

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  1. Gairmac

    yes yes yes – the disintegration before real Integration – it feels like my old reference points for living are shifting in a major way, my old comfort zones are crumbling on all sides… What perfect timing for this post. Now I know I can celebrate this – Thank You!

  2. Christie

    The ‘been there done that’ feeling is becoming more and more common in my life. So much so, that if I begin to think I want to do such and such and go here or there, I simply imagine I am doing it, and then the desire simply leaves. It’s like I actually and physically did this thing I wanted to do and no longer wish to do it. Very weird. Sometimes I get hung up on the ‘been there done that’ feeling’ and the mind trys to start spewing the ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’, but I see it right away, now, so it doesn’t last long and doesn’t happen very often anymore. It usually morphs into ‘I don’t care’…….meaning I simply no longer feel any resistance to any thing or any one’s beliefs or choices. Many do not understand this, and sometimes lable it as ‘depression’, but it is not. I know, as I’ve been there done that, too. 😉
    Thank you Sen, for your very clear and helpful messages.

    1. Sen Post author

      What you describe as your present experience of life is exactly the state of being that I am pointing to in this post.

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  4. Radiance

    I definitively have not experience this, but I am sure this is where I want to be.
    I am glad to hear it is possible.
    Little drops at a time…

  5. Judith

    Hello Sen, I recently discovered your blog by “happenstance” which in truth was a delightful synchronicity. After learning and practicing mindful awareness through teachings of well-known spiritual teachers for many months, I was stuck and couldn’t get myself to embrace the concept of “evil” mind/ego and and adopt the practice of “annihilating” them. My whole being found this concept so repulsive that it brought my spiritual journey to a screeching halt. Just when I was about to give up due to frustration, I discovered your blog. Your explanation on the nature of the mind and ego and teachings on embracing their good/bad through deep understanding truly resonated with me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
    I’m only half way through reading your past posts and I lost count as to how many times I found myself laughing and blurting out “Exactly! Thank you! THAT feels right!” This particular post on “resting” articulated all that I’m feeling at this particular phase of my journey so perfectly that I had to leave a comment. Whatever “phase” I’m in right now in my journey has produced a lot of confusion and doubt and hearing you say that this is part of a positive process gives me a huge relief!

    Thank you from all that I am, Sen.


  6. nadja

    Dear Sen,
    i found you site few days ago and i really like it, it resonates with me.
    some time ago i realized a deep ‘meaninglessness’ as you say and first it was a sense of relief and real joy but not for long.
    i’ll describe it and you say see if it is what you write about, some time ago i came to the point where there is nothing to hold onto, i see that what we believe in we ‘create’, make it, each person observing one situation will see or better said define it differently, meaning there is nothing defined, there is no meaning in anything by itself, we define how we see anything, and i see also that nothing is fixed, everything changes, constantly, fleeting, even the most ‘stable’ constructions fall apart, you can not be sure of your definitions of anything.
    i always wanted to know the truth but then i realized the paradox that nothing is true and everything is true, and there is nothing to hold onto.
    there is no god up in the sky but creation which is inherent in everything.
    i can not define for anybody anything, i was trying to do this before, imposing my beliefs, now i feel like i can’t say anything. i see my playing a victim, thoughts of not being good enough, not deserving, not knowing, as parasytic, meaning somebody else should do the work instead of me/for me. reading your posts i recognized i’ve been a “spiritual” escapist, not expressing but surpressing and i think i have a lot of imbalances, so how is it possible i came to this realization? i’ve excluded myself from life for so long, brought onto myself and my surrounding much suffering, my contribution was destruction and in no way a cooperation. and this blame, blaming others, then blaming myself. i realized there is no blame but there are always circumstances, defined differently by all involved, motivations, playing out, so there is no blame. but still this realization wasn’t so life changing. the rigidity of my thinking mind still stays on the negative.
    was this a real realization and i’m resisting it? i definitely sense fear and anxierty of the disorientation and also returning to the pattern of negativity i’ve played my whole life plus now i’ve added the destruction of myself.
    i hope you answer my questions and i thank you for everything beyond words.
    warm regards from slovenia,

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