How Do I Stop Worrying About My Relationship?
This was a query from one of the readers: I’ve been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We have a great relationship but I constantly worry that something will happen that will make us break up. I don’t want to worry about this anymore because I know it won’t happen. Please tell […]
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I came across your page while doing some research on worrying about relationships. Im so glad I found this article. I was hoping you could give me some insight on my situation. Just to give you a quick background on my past relationships. Ive dated guys who were shady, jealous, insecure and manipulative. Ive been put down a lot, called names, been blamed for everything. Ive been left for other girls randomly. So you could imagine I don’t trust very well. I have always been a huge worrier and I over analyze everything and think about the worst case scenarios. I was single for about a year until I met this guy I work with. We developed a strong friendship, talked about random things every day and just became closer. Eventually we started dated. We have been together for almost 4 months now and I couldn’t be happier. Hes a complete 180 of every guy I have ever dated. He is very laid back, has a chill personality. Doesn’t let things bother him. Hes mature, knows how to handle a real relationship. Doesn’t accuse me of cheating, or get mad at everything little thing I say or do. The fact that everything has been going so well has me scared, because I don’t want to lose him. The dumbest little things I worry about. I always feel like I have to watch what I do or say, not because I think HE will get mad at me about it but because im used to every guy leaving me over something so petty. I know hes not a shady person but I question things he does sometimes. For example, he has an iphone. Text messages pop up when you get one on a phone and when he lays his phone face down I think, why is he doing that? Is he hiding something? My exes would get mad at me when I would talk to my guy friends. My boyfriend now doesn’t care that I have guy friends. There are times I would talk to one in front of him via text message. Then later that night he SEEMS distant. So in my mind I think hes being like that because I was just talking to a guy, even though i already know he doesn’t care about that. Basically I am over analyzing the situation when really there is no situation at all. Hes just tired and doesn’t want to cuddle. I know a lot of this comes out of my own insecurities just because im not used to this healthy normal relationship. Every time I have worried about something, it’s been nothing. So you would think by now this would stop. Nope. I try and think positive but the negatives always come back. He hints about the future and makes plans for us do things months from now, so that obviously tells me he sees a future with me. But then I think about all the things that could go wrong. How do I stop with all of these negative thoughts? I know hes a good person, and nothing like everyone else ive dated, but I cant seem to shake the negative thoughts. Im terrified my over worrying is going to ruin my relationship with him. Please help! I would love to hear your ways of coping. Thank you!
My Boyfriend & I have been together for almost 3 years now. He has never cheated on me but he has recently started a new job and women work there also. I’m use to him working with men only so I have nothing to worry about. But now that he has the new job I feel like I should worry if he is going to find someone new and leave me? I’m trying my best not to worry about this because he says it will never happen but how do I know? How do I being myself to peace with this?
this is the first page I have found on the internet that has actually been helpful. I’m in a relationship with a girl for about three going on four months. we’re both happy, but these thoughts in my head are not healthy. I’ve been a lot of bad relationships long term relationships that didn’t end up well. I constantly think something is wrong with our relationship even though everything appears to be well. i love her. shes beautiful. shes a sweetheart. shes young as well. that might be why I’m feeling this way. shes 18 I’m 23. the problem is. i get these moods sometimes. if she doesnt text me enough or show me the amount of attention I’m used to her showing me, i think something is wrong. i know it soumds selfish but i dont want to think like this. i always think she is going to lose interest in me. let me ask you something. you know that fire in a relationship when it’s new and fresh and fun? is it normal for that to go away not go away completely but just die down a little I mean we’re still happy and he still get along and we dont often argue. were happy i believe. but people get comfortable and settle down and they dont have to show off as much i guess. I’m also a recovering drug addict. and i can compare the feelimg of heroin withdrawal to the feeling of an ending relationship. something i would do anything to prevent from happening or feeling. the pain and loss of a love is devasting, and the pain and depression and agony of withdrawal seems equal. the two things i never want to experiemce again. i thought i should go to the doctors and get a pysch evaluation my mother is bi polar and my dad has some issues as well. if there is something out there to help me stop feeling this way and having this outlook i would do it. paranoia.anxiety.regret.depression.mood swings. extremely good days. extremely irritable days .days i dont want to move. days i wish i had never woken up. i dont want to be the person i am. i want to be better. better for her and better for myself. i just want to be normal. like everyone else along the lines of having some control of the way their thought process works. anything you could tell me would help. i have never done this kinda stuff before.
Sen,
Sen– This page is very helpful! I need to share my own experience to gain a better insight about my life. I have been married almost three years. The past two years were really great. My husband is a great human being but unfortunately I didn’t treat him the way he deserved. Due to cultural differences, I am unable to disclose my marriage even after 3 years ( I know this has taken a toll on our relationship.) I know things haven’t been well between us since last year ( we fought a lot, name calling, insulting each other, etc. ) I have to admit most of this was my fault; due to lack of job and financial issues, I made my husband my punching bag. Mind you, he is still a student and works part-time jobs. Instead of telling him how proud I am of him and of his achievements, instead of supporting him on his goals, instead of being a good partner, I chose to lash out on him for everything. It got to a point where I would threaten to kill myself or leave him. He would beg for me to come back home and cry ( it still breaks my heart because of what I did to him.) One day, almost six months ago, I noticed how distanced he was and all of a sudden he texted me saying that he wanted out from this marriage. He mentioned that he never loved me and was never in love with me. He is done and he gave this a try; needless to say I was devastated, I did everything to make him to stay ( cry, yell, guilt-trip… you name it!) It didn’t work, of course. The next day he asked me to move-out because it will not be easy living together anymore… I cried at work,left work early, went to my house, grabbed my clothes and left ( he didn’t ask me to move out right away.) It was the most painful moments of my life. I kept thinking how can someone just stop loving you all of a sudden. Why I am not worthy of his love? I kept thinking if he is someone since he was in such a rush for me to get out. It went on for three weeks and one day I had an epiphany. I realized all of wrong doing towards him. I realized my mistakes. I decided to be the change I want to see in him. I started being really nice to him. It didn’t matter how cold he was towards me, I was nice. Eventually, after a month- or-so, he asked me not to move-out. I was thrilled and relived. I asked him he was sure and he said yes. However, that’s when my own insecurities kicked-in. Everyday, I came home, I started checking for clues if he had others girls. He was talking and is talking to other female friends he befriended while we were separated and I haven’t met them. He asks me at least once a week to give the house to himself and I do so with no questions asked. But it does bother me that he has friends over but I can’t be here. He does hang out with girl pals and also i have seen texts from the same girl over and over again. When I tried asking him, he said it was either none-of-my business or I shouldn’t be jealous. It got to a point that he lies to me about hanging out with them… I just found without even trying. However, he gives out mixed signals like saying I love you, you are my only women and two weeks after that which is very recently, he texted me saying he wants to be single. When I asked if he is with someone, he says not physically and then responds saying no. I know I have done wrong and I have hurt him a lot. I am trying my best to make amends here, and I am trying to be patient. I give him time to communicate with me; although, I have to admit, I am bit of a nagger. No whatever the outside world things or says, it feels great to be around him. I do not think he is physically with someone else because we have a great sex life… however, it’s pretty obvious that he is emotionally connected to some else as well. I want to give him time because I love him too much. I have seen the good in him and I am partially responsible for destroying our relationship. Since he not willing to communicate or talk, i sent him a heartfelt apology e-mail recently. I am not sure exactly how to amend this relationship because he is one of my soul mates and it kills my soul a little everyday to see him so distant.
SP, your view of this man being your soulmate may be coming from solely your mind alone, which of course doesn’t have the full picture. In fact, following everything your mind was saying is what caused him to distance himself from you in the first place.
Be careful you aren’t “trying” to be nice to him in order to win him back, the vibe you have behind those actions is what will be mirrored to you by your (ex?) husband. A lot of people try to be all loving or all forgiving and then get constantly victimized and wonder why such a “nice and loving person” could be treated in such a way. Behavior like that is usually out of lack or a fear of not being accepted by somebody, so they try to conform to the demands of every person they come in contact with, which results in them being very fake.
My ex-girlfriend was my catalyst for awakening, because I had already accumulated a massive amount of pain and suffering through other means and her “betraying” me was the final straw. Betraying is in quotations because that was the mind’s perspective. For a few weeks, I thought that I was this flawless little angel that had been victimized in this “cruel world”, before I came across Sen’s site.
It took a lot of awareness and honesty to point out every imbalanced behavior I had exuded during those few months, so I could flip the perspective from victim to unconscious. My mind still spews up a lot of negative thoughts regarding this girl, even though there are some times where it’s near zero and I go “I’m finally free!”, only for it to start up again the next day.
The reason why I think those thoughts are still there is not because she was special or “the one”, I think they’re there because she brought up such a wide spectrum of emotions that need dissolving. If I think of jealousy, she brought that up, if I think of inferiority, she brought that up, etc. So every type of feeling that comes up for release, I believe she is connected to it in a way, not because she “caused” it or made me feel a certain way, it’s just that she acted in such a way to make feelings that were already inside me to come up.
Due to her being the catalyst for all of this, there’s a piece of me that thinks she is the “one”, even though we’re quite different people. I just let my mind go on if it wants to think that she’s “the one” or a bitch, or whatever it may think. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, if it’s not, I’ll meet someone better.
Just don’t cling to this guy as being the only one for you or some limiting notion like that. Some stuff I likened this girl to was “angel”, “princess” (holy crap, that’s just terrible), the “reason why I get up”, and worst of all – “you’re the only reason why I’m still alive” (because I was suicidal at that point).
By examining those past shames, you can see that neediness and dependency on someone else is a very imprisoning and powerless place to be.
SP, read the Sen’s newest article if you have time. It’s about inner power, imbalance love or unconscious love is making us weak, makes us needy, and makes us feel this guilty feeling. Whether he is the one or not, we don’t know about it, and it is indeed one of the mind perspective. If you still want to keep him around, it’s your choice, but beware of the consequences, as long as you can release the mind momentum, you will be continually feel depressed.
Same as Michael, my catalyst is my gf (we are still together). The day after I made her cry for the first time is the day I shift from unconscious to conscious. And after that, event by event was happening, bringing up a huge load of negative emotions in me. We even almost broke up many times, but my lack of power took over me, and i did anything to make her change her mind. Until recently, I sense some stability in me. But the emotions, hang ups, thoughts are still there, only the intensity is reduced slowly.
Our mind is very afraid of change, the possibility that your (ex) husband will leave instigate a huge load of momentum inside you, and you got taken by it’s pull, that’s why you did those things (cry, yell, guilt trip, etc) to make him stay. Just watch every thought, feel every emotions that arises, soon the neediness, the powerlessness will dissolved eventually. I know it’s not gonna be a pleasant thing, but this can connect you to your inner wholeness/power.
If you still want to keep him while you are on your journey, it’s totally up to you, you can experiment, everyone has different experiences. However, you need to know that there is a possibility that that will not work out for both of you. If you are okay with this, then the process will be easier, because in the end we are on our own, always, whether we are in a relationship or not, we are on our own.
Right now, i am still with my gf, but I dont know how long we will last, I told her I have changed (and I was taken by my powerlessness when I told her that), so I guess I am just gonna enjoy my time with her, if it works out, then it’s good, if it’s not, I am gonna just deal with the pain so that I can grow.
Michael– Thank you for responding. I really appreciate it. We are not exes yet and we are living together. I know i shouldn’t have done this but his phone was on and i saw his messages. He is definitely having an emotional affair with this girl; no indication of physical yet. I understand that I shouldn’t cling on to this guy because it looks like he is moving on already. I have no clue how to approach situations like this… any thoughts?
SP, I’m going through quite an intense “low” period, so the answers to a lot of things are quite hazy, as it were, but I’ll give you my best anyways.
An emotional affair to me carries as much of a blow as if they were mindlessly hopping from bed to bed, because while the idea of your partner sliding up and down another person may make you angry, there most likely aren’t any deep feelings in there. While an emotional affair of the person going “I love you so much, baby” to somebody who isn’t you feels more like a betrayal.
At least from the perspective of a monogamous relationship, those deep feelings of love should be just between you. If they go do that with someone else, even if there is no sex involved, what you have seems deeply violated.
As hard as I know it is, based on his behavior, you need to deeply ponder if he is the “one”. Even if he is the “one”, you should be accepting of the fact that it won’t last forever, unless by some chance you both die at the exact same time. While it may come as a blow to imagine such a thing, there’s also an underlying freedom to it.
During a breakup, one of the partners is always groveling and begging for reconciliation because they want to keep it going on “forever” or at least until the imaginary point that they’d become independent of this person (imaginary because their groveling is pointing to their lack of independence). If you have the firm understanding that the only thing permanent is change, you won’t be so uneasy about it, because whether it comes through divorce, breakup, death, or whatever, you know change is inevitable.
Michael,
I just recently found out that it wasn’t an emotional affair at all. He admitted to just physical affair and claims he never wants to be ever married or be in a monogamous relationship. He stated that he will only have an emotional connection with me and always will. My reaction confused him because I didn’t get mad, angry or hysterical. I just asked him for his honesty and told him that he has a choice to be happy however he choose to be. In fact, he was angry, because I told him i was not mad at all. He thought I was crazy for remaining calm. I do know that he was cheated on by his ex twice and he was severely depressed after that. I am not sure if this is normal but I am calm. I am hurt but not angry. I am relived. I also know that i didn’t treat him nicely for several months and it could be my own karma ( this doesn’t justify his actions.) I do not feel guilty anymore and I have asked for his forgiveness several times but he decided to sleep around. I am willing to forgive him for his actions. I will be moving out soon but since I found out about his affair I have been nothing but nice to him. I am empathetic towards him. I can see how much he is hurting inside. He just suppresses it. One thing that came out from all of this is that he is communicating, which he is isn’t very good at. I am not asking anything and he is telling me how he is scared of change and been very stressed lately. I hope this experience will help him grow individually. Since I have just decided to let things go, I feel much lighter! I don’t feel the need to know anything about the other women or any details of it. If anything, I feel sympathy for him that he must be really hurting to such an action. However, I know I cannot help with his issues, he is responsible to deal with them. Does this make any sense? I am not saying that I do not cry on my own. I am dealing it in my own way. I want to start working on healing myself. I am not sure where to start?
SP, you don’t know where to start to heal yourself?! You are already well on your way. By seeing the kind of person he is and what guides his choices, you are moving toward acceptance. You know he is no longer a match for you and are preparing to move on. You started a long time ago!
Accepting how he is can help you greatly. Then you are free of unreal expectations, false hope, and other delusion. Instead, you deal with the truth of your situation. Let go of the pain, know your own needs. You are further along than you seem to realize.
hello sen, I am really grateful to you for your this article. Really helpful.
I have been very depressed about my relationship and due to which I am not able to concentrate on my career as well. I love my boyfriend a lot and are in relationship since 3 years. 6 months back he got along with a friend from class and dey have become very good friends. Girl is very intelligent and beautiful more than me and all this is creating insecurities in me. I always have a fear that this girl will replace me in future. though my boyfriend shows that he is serious for me and see a future with me but i dont know why i just cant take out both of them from my mind. I dont want to lose him at any cost. I cant imagine my life without him. I also talked him about this once. He made me understand that there is nothing between them and they are just good friends but i still imagine things that may be in future he will be more close to her than me. I dont what to do. Please help! I have no one to talk about all this.
Thank you
Diya, uncertainty is the inherent reality of life and no matter how many assurances we seek the underlying truth is that one can never be certain. Your insecurity stems from the fact that you desire your security through the “certainty” that your bf will stay with you in the future, and the reality is that there is no such certainty – no matter what he says, or what you want to believe, the fact remains that you can’t be certain. The attitude that’s aligned with reality is to have an openness towards any outcome, an openness towards things changing for whatever reasons. Also the truth is that everything/everyone is dispensable, though you think that “I can’t imagine a life without him”, you will notice that if he were to break-off you will find someone else eventually, and time will heal the pain of loss and the memories will fade. You are currently experiencing a state of powerlessness stemming from the fact the you feel so attached to your bf’s presence in your life – attachment is fine as long as you also have the openness to detach/let-go when needed/required. The state of balance is when you are not helpless to your attachment and you are not trying to detach from a place of fear – you need to have the freedom to attach and detach at will, as per wisdom/requirement of the situation.
Love can become a source of suffering, and source of dysfunction, when you lack a balance towards power – love and power needs to be balanced within oneself in order to have a functional experience of a relationship. The sense of powerlessness that you are feeling right now is simply a wake-up call for you to consciously find your inner power (inner freedom). It’s not about asking your boyfriend for assurances, because it’s of no use, his assurances cannot give your security because deep down you know the reality that nothing is certain. Your security should come from your sense of inner power, where you realize that you have the openness to let-go of anything when needed. You can read the posts – the basis of inner freedom and connecting with inner power to gain more insight on how to go about finding this balance towards power.
Very true Sen! I need to put myself into practice to keep my inner thoughts strong and balanced to let go off things when time comes. Thanks a lot sen. Feeling lighter after your advice. I was going away from the reality of life that nothing is certain and was not even trying to prepare myself for worst.
thanks a lot.
Diya, if you only focus on letting go of “things” i.e. people, the imbalance would spill over into areas. You’d need to balance all areas of your mind through awareness (starts as a practice), which would then be let go into total openness, so a purging of the imbalance can start, which would bring a balance to all areas.
It takes quite a few months, which of course has the mind going “That’s so long, I need a fix now!”, it’s how my mind was, but the time passed surprisingly quickly in a sense, because now (5 months along) is just the now. 5 months ago was the now, so the time just refreshes all the time as the now, and not necessarily the future. Read the articles under the subheadings “Enlightenment”, “Power of Thoughts” and “Understanding The Mind”. Quite a task, but if you have a deep desire to know yourself as you are, each article that gives you new insight is like candy for the brain.
Sen,
So I was browsing through web sites and I came upon this one. I see many of you have similar issues to mine and I’m really struggling right now. I’ve never done a blog before so this is new for me…
So my fiance and I have been together 3 years and we were doing okay, great really considering he has big issues with my family. We’ve been dealing with that for two years now and the closer to our wedding date the worse the fights have come (he doesn’t want my mother at the wedding) well I called of the wedding so that we could work on it. I thought things were going well and we were getting somewhere until last week. Now I’ve never been one to snoop but his Ipod kept going off and he wasn’t home so I checked it to see what is was and discovered live sex chats and all kinds of porn.
So… I confronted him and we had this big blow out, I mean bad, I never yell but I was and throwing things at him… It was bad. I have a really bad history with my ex fiance and how porn opened up the way for him to cheat and I’m really against it. He has no reason to be looking as he’s always getting it from me and he gets whatever he wants so there is really no need for it. Let alone live sex chat I feel is just as bad as having someone in our bed…
I calmed down and we talked (he denied the sex chat but admitted the porn) and came up that it would be the best to break up. So I went to the leasing office the next day to see how to cancel our lease and called my dad to see if I could move home ( out of state) and when he saw all this he said he wanted to go to couples counseling. Well so he’s been really been trying to be all cute and cuddly and even took me out ( which he hasn’t done in a long time.) and said he wanted to bring the romance back by ‘Dating” me again. Well I’ve gone with it and I came home last night and I found more porn and he admitted to watching while I was at work ( we had just had sex not even 6 hours before..) … I have also been trying but I keep having these anxiety attacks and the feeling of trust isn’t where it was and I’m not sure if it’s because of everything we’ve been though or it’s my old insecurities coming back form when my ex-fiance cheated on me or both.
I really don’t know how to fix this with in myself and honestly I’m at the point where I don’t know if I want to. I feel really insecure and like I’m not good enough that he has to keep doing this even know he knows how much it bothers me. I feel like he will cheat in time if he doesn’t stop. So…… any advice on how to get past this?
Amy, unless you’ve already read a lot of articles on here, that guy is in your life for a reason. Usually it is people the best to reflect your inner issues back at you, then you can examine them in detail.
As for what your man is doing, you should keep in mind that he is not obligated to not do those things just so you feel good. I asked a similar query over a month ago and got a good answer about cheating: http://www.calmdownmind.com/understanding-your-sexual-energy-and-sexuality/#comment-22985
If you would spend a few minutes watching porn, you’d see how unrealistic it is. As such, porn is an industry based towards fantasy for men. Just because you rock your man’s world often, that doesn’t mean that he won’t be attracted to other women. There are a few girls in my town that look nice, that I would consider pursuing when I am more functional, but all the while, I have a Carly Rae Jepsen poster proudly on my wall and up it shall stay.
Judging by your reaction to his behavior, you’re very unaware of your thoughts, so really you’re no better off than your partner. Trusting somebody for your stability is a bad place to be. I remember constantly asking for reassurances in order to feel some sort of security “Are you cheating?” “Are you a virgin?” “You’re lying to me”. If your feeling good or secure is dependent on trusting somebody, your emotions will swing all over the place.
Read the posts on this site about awareness and you’ll find out how to get rid of the momentum. If it’s one thing you take away from my reply, it’s – don’t think there’s something wrong with you or you’re undeserving of a good relationship. This relationship is obviously a test, as in an invitation to let go of your need for a security. The underlying assumption in your post is “When I am 100% sure my man isn’t cheating and that he will stay with me, I will be secure”. Your mind will just keep coming up with new fears, so you’ll never feel secure when you’re dependent on somebody to give it to you.
I need some help, I’ve been in a relationship for about a year now and i’ve been worrying so much about what he is doing and who he is texting and talking too.. I don’t know what to do to make him realize what he has. He barely textes me and I think about the worse when he doesn’t text me. I don’t know if he would cheat on me and I hope he wouldn’t but people tell me other wise that he will? I just want to make my relationship stronger. Today he has barely texted me and now he is not saying goodnight or anything. I’ve been blowing up his phone and I know that’s not good to do but it’s a impulse. I love him a lot and it’s scarey thinking he might hurt me. What should I do to help myself to stop worrying and not bother him as much so I won’t annoy him and push him away. I don’t know if it’s bad aniexty what should I do?
I am having the exact issues, I always feel he is cheating on me, even when I know he isn’t. I constantly go through his phone, not wanting too, or even thinking about it. I love him, like the sun is shining, but I am scared. If you would please facebook me @ Lili Skipper(Leanna) so I can tell you what I have been learning; and to compare our situations?
Sen,
I’m been dating my girlfriend for over 6 months. I am 38 and she’s 26. We get along great and have not had an argument / fight. She told me that she has some anxiety issue and has been seeing a counselor for it early in our relationship. We were seeing each other 2-3 times a week. Last month we went on a 10day vacation together. During the holiday, she got sick, couldn’t sleep (she has some insomnia issues prior to the trip as well). So most nights on the trip she went on walks, late night by herself when I sleep. This occurs after midnight, so naturally I’m tired and didn’t go on these walks with her. We were busy vacationing during the day and did loads of activities. During the vacation in the daytime she’s very affectionate, however at night she’s not. I had thoughts that she was afraid to be intimate with me, even though we had been intimate before. Being intimate is important to us, as we are careful and place lots of value in it. She is also ashamed of parts of her body, but I always told her that I love those parts that she dislikes. Anyways, even with the lack of intimacy (in my opinion) we still had a good trip. However, I was hoping that we would grow closer from the vacation and time together, my instincts tells me that we didn’t. She is somewhat of a secretive person with her feelings and it is difficult for me to tell.
After we got back from her, she had been dealing with lots of issues with health (not life threatening) and work. I told her I’m here to listen and want to support her with these issues but she never tells me specific feelings. In the beginning of the relationship I was comfortable with these non-specific descriptions because I thought that she doesn’t want to tell me negative things because they might scare me away. But at this point, she still is not open with me. We are spending less alone time together. Now, she acknowledge that she’s in the dumps and it is affect she and I, but still she doesn’t want to talk about it. I love her and want to continue our relationship, but I don’t have much experience dealing with depression. The only thing I know what to do is to be there for her. Sometimes I can’t find the right words to say to make her feel better. I know that we should not live in fear, but I fear that because of her depression it might end a good relationship. I would welcome any advice to help me support her. Thank you.
Hi Sen, I don’t know if you can help me or not but no one else has taken the time to help me figure things out. I’ve been very worried in my current relationship about just about everything. I love my current boyfriend more than I have ever loved anyone and he says the exact same about me. We’ve always had ups and downs but quitting has never been an option for us, (so we promised) but here lately I’ve been feeling worried and uneasy about every little thing between us and constantly asking myself if we’re going to be okay. I can’t seem to shake my negative thoughts no matter how many times he reassures me that everything is alright. I’ve never acted like this in a relationship before and I’m just confused as to why I feel this way now. I can’t sleep or eat and just feel anxious all the time. Now obviously this isn’t the only thing going on in my life right now that could contribute to the stress and anxiety I feel, but my relationship with my boyfriend is the most important to me because he isn’t only my boyfriend, he’s my best friend and what I believe to be the love of my life. I think I might be driving myself crazy but I just don’t know. How can I work on my trust issues and insecurities? How can I focus on myself and regroup and relax?