Consciousness just implies the ability to be aware, in an open manner, which then leads to an “understanding”. So, when I talk about a deep consciousness, it just implies a deep understanding of life. The perspectives you are privy to in the state of deep consciousness are very different from the ones you align with in a state of low consciousness. True consciousness always leads to a deeper understanding of anything that’s brought to its wake.
As you deepen in consciousness, the nature of life-energy and the nature of being becomes very apparent to you. There are two aspects to who we are – “being” and “life-energy”, they are both contradictory in nature and we can never separate ourselves from either. A lot of confusion arises when we try to hold on to one aspect while distancing ourselves from the other. In fact, on this blog, there are some writings which focus purely on the being part and some that focus on the life-energy part, and they both seem to be very contradictory in nature when seen in isolation – yet they make complete sense when taken in unison.
True wholeness, or inner freedom, is attained when you can connect with both parts of who you are – the “being” part and the “life-energy” part. The challenge resides in the fact that these two “parts” are completely contradictory, the nature of being is the opposite to the nature of life-energy. For instance, the peace that you experience when you connect with the “being” part is opposite to the constant flux in the “life-energy” part. However, when you get stuck with holding on to the peace that you feel in your being and start pushing away from the movement of life-energy, there is stagnancy that starts pervading the journey of your life.
The question of “who am I” is easily answered when you are fully conscious of your essence as a being and your presence as a construct of life-energy. For instance, the physical body, with its brain, is a construct of life-energy, the soul or your ethereal body is a construct of life-energy, but your essence as “pure awareness” comes from the being part of you. It’s not confusing, rather it’s apparent, that there are two parts to your existence. Confusion arises when you try to hold on to one over the other. The very idea of attaining “moksha”, in terms of relinquishing your involvement with the “life-energy” part, arises from an incomplete understanding of who we are. A truly conscious entity is never obsessed with moksha, it’s like being obsessed with non-existence instead of embracing life.
Depending on your level of consciousness, you can get enamored with the life-energy part or the “being” part. However, as your consciousness grows, and deepens, you are fully integrated with both these parts in you. The contradiction within you feels normal, you are open to the dance of life-energy while residing in the static space of your being – it’s not one or the other, it’s one in the other. You are open to the movement of desires in you, and the restlessness it creates, while also residing in the space of being where this movement just operates like a flow happening in an open space. You fully understand how relatively meaningless this whole journey in terms of an end-goal while also imbuing relative meaning to your actions and movements. You are not clinging to either detachment or purpose, you are as purposeful as you are unattached.
It’s normal to be madly in pursuit of the “being” part or the “life-energy” part when one is yet to deepen in consciousness. The “yogi” who pursues detachment to be one with the “being” part and the “bhogi” (hindi word – the indulgent one), who is lustfully engrossed in the experiences of life-energy, are both relatively imbalanced. True wholeness is achieved in the integration of the yogi and bhogi, the being and the life-energy, the peace and the swirl.
You reach this place, of true wholeness, through deepening your consciousness through openness, through allowing yourself to touch both dimensions (the being part and the life-energy part), through knowing your “self” in both dimensions, through letting go of the need to hold on to a refuge whether it’s through a belief or an understanding, through wanting truth above convenience, through wanting reality above delusion.