Ego is your sense of “I”, it will always be present in any consciousness (being) and it’s not a problem by itself, however the “ego-force” is at the root-cause of resistance to your “life force”, and thus is responsible for all the psychological suffering created by this resistance – by psychological suffering, I mean emotional and mental suffering. When I talk about reducing the mind/emotional momentum, it actually boils down to dissolving your ego-force – without a dominant ego-force there is no resistance to the release of your emotional accumulation, as well as the release of your mind momentum. A different way of explaining the dysfunction of ego-force is that having a sense of “I” is natural, but when your sense of “I” becomes such a strong force that it causes you to disconnect from “wholeness” you become imbalanced/deluded, and thus enter into a cycle of negativity. When you balance your sense of “I” (or ego) with your wholeness (life-space) you become a whole-based being, or a balanced, and stable, being.
It’s very easy to fall into a loop of reinforcing the ego-force even when you think that you are trying to dissolve this force in you. For example, these words are being interpreted by your ego-force and it may be having a certain reaction to it – it either feels happy about gaining this understanding or feels angry about being targeted, and both reactions are eventually reinforcing the ego-force. The right way to imbibe these pointers is to not make them into an ego enhancing technique, rather see them as an indicator towards a state free of ego-force domination. When the ego-force dissolves in dominance, your life-force can take over; your life-force is not some “outside” force, but it’s the real you, the wholeness of you – when your life-force takes full control, you naturally live an aligned expression, or what I call your “natural expression” as a human, and as a being/soul.
Connecting with your space of being
A lot of people feel confused about the “state of allowing” and wonder what it really means to allow. This is because the state of allowing, in actuality, is a means towards dissolving the grip of your ego-force, whereas most people try to execute the state of allowing “using” their ego-force – it’s this ego-force that’s always “wondering” how to allow; because the ego-force is all about “control”, it doesn’t know what allowing truly is. This is the reason why it’s important to understand the term “space of being” – I use this term to refer to the space outside your ego-force, it’s also referred to as the “space of stillness” or “space of silence” within you. You don’t have to create this space of stillness, you don’t have to imagine it or manufacture it by trying to silence your mind, rather you just need to sense its presence in you as the space of silence that’s existing outside your mind/emotional movement – it’s present in all of us. I also refer to this space of being as the “life-space” in us, which connects us with the totality, with the oneness of who we are, and thus with the intelligence of our life-stream.
When your ego-force dissolves in momentum, you automatically sense your inner wholeness or the space of unwavering peace – just like you sense the vast blueness of the sky, which is always present, once the clouds dissipate. The ego is most functional (and wise) when it’s operating in conjunction with this inner wholeness, and it’s most dysfunctional when it’s totally disconnected with inner wholeness. The point is not to get rid of the ego (you can’t get rid of your sense of “I”), the point is to dissolve the strong momentum/force that it has gathered owing to its unconscious, and narrow, pre-occupation with itself, while forgetting its truth of being the wholeness of life. When the ego-force is dominant in you, it’s not possible to be free of psychological suffering, no matter how positive your ego tries to be – the ego-force is inherently based in “separation”, and the stronger this force is, in you, the stronger is your separation from your wholeness, and hence stronger is the psychological suffering. You sense your inherent joy/wholeness, as a permanent presence, when you are free of the ego-force momentum – this space of wholeness allows your human/physical aspect to exude this wholeness externally through your “expressions” in terms of your actions, creativity or just your presence, plus it attracts wholeness-based realities onto you thus aligning you with your sense of abundance.
When you get into the journey of finding your inner wholeness (or even finding your true nature, or your truth) you are inevitably signing up for dissolving your ego-force. The moments of realization that are sparked in you during this journey (for example the realizations that you have while reading some insights or during some meditation/contemplation on your part) are basically nails in the coffin of the ego-force. Once you get a fore-taste of your inner wholeness, in a moment where you let go of clinging to your ego-force, it’s a moment of awakening (of course, it doesn’t last because the ego-force comes back in) – once this awakening happens your journey is fully on course, and it just can’t be stopped after that, and you inevitably start seeing your ego-force being dissolved (sometimes voluntarily, sometimes through the fierce grace created by the intelligence of your life-force) until it hits close to zero intensity/momentum. There is a phase of transition from being dominated by the ego-force to falling into alignment with your life-force, and this phase is not very pleasant for the ego – it’s a temporary phase and it gets done with more quickly when you simply let go of trying to “repair” your ego all the time, or trying to cling to the good feelings. This is reason why I give the pointer of “total allowing” where you fully allow the low-states that are bound to happen as the ego-force dissolves.
Fear is a catalyst that allows dissolution of ego-force
I mentioned in the previous post on “Wake-up calls” that they usually come in the form of a fear, or emotional suffering created by anxiety or confusion (which are just forms of fear). It is “fear” that causes the ego-force to start dissolving, and hence fear is used “intelligently” by your life-force to help in dissolving your ego-force – it can come as a shock to your ego-force to realize that events were being orchestrated, by your life force, to cause its dissolution by creating fear/confusion in it. It’s very normal for the ego-force to feel an anger towards this process, and it’s totally justified in this feeling, after all it’s a process that causes its deconstruction. I understand that this transition phase is not very pleasant for the ego, but it’s something that can’t be helped – it’s a natural part of the evolution of a soul/being, a natural growth phase in its journey towards reaching “conscious” recognition of its natural wholeness. So if you are having your “wake-up calls” right now, it just means you’ve reached this phase in your journey as a soul/being (it has probably taken several life-times for you to reach this place since your creation as a stream of consciousness).
Fear is your ally in this process of dissolving the ego-force, and it’s inevitably used by the intelligence of your life-force to create this dissolution. The wake-up calls can happen in the form of certain events that make you feel fearful towards life like a certain “loss”, or in terms of some financial, physical or emotional dysfunction. The usual tendency would be to simply try and repair this sense of anxiety, or depression, in your ego, through some external means – this tendency is very natural, however, it’s inevitable that you will finally reach a point where the ego repair mechanisms stop working. The ego-force cannot “create” inner wholeness, it’s the dissolution of ego-force that makes you sense the wholeness which was always present.
The paradox is that insecurities, frustration, confusion, inferiority, emotional hurt, depression are all very useful “dark nature” aspects that allow the dissolution of the ego-force and hence have a very positive-role in this process of coming to inner wholeness – you are bound to face these dark nature aspects as you move into this journey (these are just indications of the ego-force being shaken down); instead of trying to “protect” yourself just allow these elements to play their part in dissolving your ego-force. If don’t keep trying to repair your ego-force, it will continue to find dissolution more quickly. You can be rest-assured that these “fears”, or dysfunctional realities, are just a temporary phase in your journey as a soul, and once you start consciously allowing these “feelings” it will keep dissolving your ego-force to the point where it loses its grip on your being. You can also rest assured that your well-being will be taken care of during this dissolution phase; even if you don’t recognize this well-being during some insecure moments you are still totally in the lap of your life-force’s grace – the feeling of insecurity is just a “counter force” being used to dissolve the ego-force, and it’s part of this grace.
I get emails from people who describe certain events in their life (including having certain obsessive thoughts) that are causing them to feel confused, insecure or anxious. I recognize all of this as “wake-up calls” for their soul/being to find its inner wholeness, and my only pointer is for them to allow these feelings instead of fighting them or looking for a quick fix for them. The fears, or insecurities, are not the actual “negative”, they are simply the result/symptom of the ego-force having a strong momentum in you (which is the actual root-cause). If you allow these fears, in your being, they will act as a counter-force that will de-construct your ego-force, and hence act as your ally in this process. This is the reason why the whole industry of “thinking positive” doesn’t yield any long term benefit, after all “trying” to think positive just becomes another activity used by the ego-force, and thus keeps strengthening its presence in you. Rather, if you simply allow these so-called “negative” feelings within you, instead of trying to protect your ego from it, they will reveal their “positive” influence by breaking down the ego-force and thus bring you to your natural inner wholeness/freedom/balance which then automatically gets mirrored in your external reality also.
Thank you
Dear Sen,
First of all I would like to thank you for your articles. I’m new to your website. I’ve just started practicing relaxed awareness. I’m practicing at day time. Usually I don’t get scary thoughts and scary mental imagery at day time. I get these only at night time just when I’m about to sleep.I get these thoughts when everybody in my home is asleep or when I’m working alone on my laptop at night.When it’s silent at night my mind starts generating scary visuals from the horror movies and TV shows that I’ve watched in my past.It creeps me out and I immediately start listening to my ipod to fall asleep.I thought of practicing relaxed awareness during bed time but my mind has generated a new scary thought that if I let go of my mind at “bed-time” I’ll have an out of the body experience.I’m scared to death of OBE. I’ve heard that it’s very dangerous and that the weak hearted are vulnerable to get possessed by negative entities in the astral plane.I’ve no intention to have an OBE but my mind is scaring me that if I let go of my mind at “bed-time” I’ll have an OBE and get possessed by negative entities.I tried to view those thoughts without fueling them but I’m unable to do so successfully.The fear is very overwhelming.I don’t want to have an OBE.What should I do to overcome this?
Please, I need your advice.Thanks for reading.
Best Regards,
GB
Im so glad its not just me, my mind keeps going to horror movies Ive seen in my past and I just tremble and shake with fear and so scared. Also having the obsessive thoughts. I have been meditating for a year and a half and practicing zen techniques and this has just started happening. Honestly so relieved to find this article and comment. Hope this is what is going on.
You know what? I actually had the same fear of OBE’s. When I awakened my third eye, I started seeing things more vividly and possessing an insane amount of knowing. I also had this one experience where it felt like something had entered my body.
But guess what, I’m perfectly fine (LOL) and I realized that you (consciousness) holds all the power, and all your worries are just fears of the future or past tense.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
= F.E.A.R.
The only way you could have an OBE is by “accidentally” doing something to trigger it which in all cases is an extreme rarity I believe. And even if it does happen it won’t be sustained for maybe longer than a nanosecond, as your intention will inevitably bring you back.
Don’t worry dude! You’ll get over it. Humans are adapters.
Thats a nice one sen..
“so if you are having your “wake-up calls” right now, it just means you’ve reached this phase in your journey as a soul/being (“IT HAS PROBABLY TAKEN SEVERAL LIFE-TIME FOR YOU TO REACH THIS PLACE SINCE YOUR CREATION AS A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS)
Sen, please can you elaborate more on that (the one written in capital letter) for me to understand. I didnt get what you mean by “it has probably taken several life-time for you to reach this place since your creation as a stream of consciousness”
Hi Sen.
I’m having question about fix if ego. As soon as I started to read your articels I started practicing this relaxed awareness pointer) and it really does help to observe this thought emotion movement, but as I also presctice this I developed this sort of release this in my mind, its like as soon something comes up a thought or emotion I allow it of course but than I kinda pushing it away for release, so I think its a mistake that I made up in the mind to always release whatever comes up. I need your advice on how this relaxed awareness really work, its allows but I think deffenetely not pushing away, it just sits with thought emotion for as long as its there plz clearrify thanks in advance!
So timely… the day you posted this, Sen, I had a very jarring experience. The cause was my ego-need to be validated. I opened up to someone who, instead of giving my ego the pat on the head it sought, punched me in the gut. Then I realized I’d also exposed others to this harmful person. Feeling horrible for my own ‘victimization’, knowing I’d put others at risk hit me hard.
The victimization is, of course, the ego reaction. I walked into the situation and ignored warning signs the other showed – fierce grace at work. I may have had it coming as a consequence of my past actions – some imbalance in me that needs to be evened out. The realization of putting others at risk – the hammer blow to break down this ego-need. Never again.
Thank you for your writings, it’s good support to hear a different voice clearly explaining some of the chaotic things that go on in life.
Sen:
Thank you for your ability to write inspiring articles! My question for you is that I feel stuck in my life, like there is no new movement or direction happening in my life, like I am just putting in my time or like I am resisting new things from happening. I feel like my life repeats and reflects a lot of the same old tired patterns. I feel like I am trying to control my life and mind from getting out of control because of a lot of fear, but it seems by doing this, I stop life from happening. Also I have a tendency to drink too much alcohol which also keeps the mind under control.[not really] Can you offer some suggestions regarding this?
Thanks again for your efforts!
Hello Sen,
I am 3 months into allowing and I am feeling very weak ,vulnerable and depressed.Should I keep on allowing these feelings as well or am I doing something wrong.You seem to have said in one of your post that ‘look forward to enjoy the process and the release will be done more quickly’. I know it does not mean that I will be blissed out but how can you enjoy the process when one is going through such feelings of depression and inferiority. My greatest fear is that I will be stuck in transition forever.In my journey, under the pretence of allowing ,I had become passive and I realised my mistake so I am consciously allowing again.However my Body seems to get contracted and my mind says you are doing it the wrong way, you are suppressing.Is this normal? The stark hopelessness, uncertainty and depression seem to be overwhelming for me. Can you guide me please?? Again thanks in advance
Viraj, what’s important is to identify that the part feeling weak and vulnerable is the ego-force part in you, that’s being dissolved through this process. As the ego-force momentum keeps ebbing away, there can be a sense of meaninglessness and depression that comes in for a while in the ego – this is a temporary phase however. Eventually, your life-force starting taking over and you feel the drive (return of focus) coming back towards your expression in physicality. So for now, you just need to allow these “low-states” that are being felt by the ego, instead of trying to repair it in some way – this is part of the process, and if you don’t fight this low phase you will see a quicker dissolution of the ego-force thus allowing your being/life-force to come into the foreground.
Viraj, you are describind accurately what was happened to me, and what is still happening. I think, when Sen says that is important to “identify” ego-force is, that after some time, you can actually feel all negativity as one force, you are somewhat detached from it. And, as time goes by, and it unfolds more, you can see more of it, and less it can pull you down. That’s how I see it now.
In my experience, contractions are due to not allowing some deeply supressed thoughts and emotions – they want to be lit, they want to be integrated. I had severe constipation because of this, and when it was identified, it was gone. Then, I feel contraction on other places – heart, my back after that, I think it’s part of the process… Also, for me, contractions happen whey I want to attach to some experience. After some painful release, and a touch of bliss I say “ah, I got it, I’m home”, and then I cling to that state, which soon begins to change again. And I don’t want it to change, so am I trying to hold it with my whole body, so it is painful (and pointless). Maybe this helps.
Also, when Sen says “allow fully”, or when Eckhart Tolle says “surrender”, for me it is like… to LIVE out the thought, emotion which arises. AS IF it would actually happen. As Krishnamurti says “you are fear”, you actually ARE fear when it arises. When you live it out fully, it’s gone. It’s like it want to play. Play with it, and it changes. 🙂
Hello Chow,
I think the following paragraph sums up the answer-The paradox is that insecurities, frustration, confusion, inferiority, emotional hurt, depression are all very useful “dark nature” aspects that allow the dissolution of the ego-force and hence have a very positive-role in this process of coming to inner wholeness – you are bound to face these dark nature aspects as you move into this journey (these are just indications of the ego-force being shaken down); instead of trying to “protect” yourself just allow these elements to play their part in dissolving your ego-force. If don’t keep trying to repair your ego-force, it will continue to find dissolution more quickly.
I think we should just allow feeling depressed, allow the sadness and fear,confusion without questioning or analysing the release. The mind does ask ‘am I doing this right’ which creates stark fear but as Sen said we should allow the question without the need to answer.This journey really seems to be challenging and difficult, as uncertainty and insecurity are very uncomfortable places to be but are unavoidable.
Thanks for the post.
Sen I remembered you saying “neural Pathways” in your previous posts, Programming the subconscious mind, is the Ego a neural pathway in the brain?
NJ, this term “ego” can create several delusions of its own, and is easily the reason why a lot of people stay confused through spiritual teachings. A lot of teachers use the word ‘ego’ to point to some negative aspect in you, and hence this word creates a negative imagination in the mind. However, the way I personally define ego is simply as the sense of “I” which is present in a being. Any being (life-stream) has a sense of “I”, and hence has a ego – without an ego you can’t have any self-awareness, and hence you can’t have any perspective, even the most evolved soul/consciousness has a sense of “I”. The problem is not with having a ego, the problem is when ego becomes deluded (rather when you become deluded), you go into imbalance – you create a momentum of imbalance as you keep identifying with your deluded thinking, until it becomes a force of its own, what I refer to as a “ego-force” in you, I also call it “negative ego”. The biggest delusion is one of “separation”, where you see yourself as separate from life, where you are totally identified with your body/mind with no sense of your non-physical nature, and hence live from fear, inferiority, lack-based thinking, and hatred towards life – this is the ego in delusion, the being in delusion. Enlightenment/awakening is about you realizing truth as life-energy, realizing your dark/light nature, your creator potential, and using this understanding to let go of your deluded thinking/patterns, thus coming to a place of inner wholeness and aligning with your natural expression that unfolds from this place of freedom – the ego is still there, it’s just free, it’s aligned and it’s balanced. If a teacher claims to be totally free of ego, he’s just claiming to be free of negativity/imbalanced movement, it does not mean that he has lost his sense of “I”.
The brain also references itself as the “I” (because it’s also made of life-energy), and it stores up all its “I” references (like your name, history, personal events, qualification, biography) in the form of neural pathways, and it also stores up your deluded thinking (negativity/imbalance) in the form of neural pathways – these pathways are what start getting deconstructed when you start awakening out of it.
Does humor play a part in dissolving ego,, i also tend to laugh at wot a mess i hv created for myself,, occassionally,, ? the fact that i hv laugh on it does that mean i am allowing it!
thanx
Priya, though it’s a good attitude to not be stuck in a strident interpretation to some “negative occurrences”, it’s not always about laughing it off – sometimes the laughing-off part can just become a form of “protective” strategy where you try to laugh off something rather than sense the actual insecurity/hurt/fear within – you can sense if it something that acts as a suppressive mechanism.
Hi Sen,
Thank you for your wisdom, a lot of it resonates with me and has helped to open up my mind and knocked me out of a mental rut.
Goobs
recently i visited my in laws, i had a tough time, my fil constantly says no for everything, my mil is defensive about almost everything in her life,my husband wont raise his voice or object against his parents, and it continues to be a very boring trip everrytime, i got very upset and everybody thinks i hv a big ego, and am arrogant. is this my ego force? i was very allowing and felt like death is better than the loss of freedom to do anything or go anywhere? and a couple of days later i apologise and feel bad about my behaviour. i get irritated when people are two faced, continue praising their own husbands/wives inspite of repeated proof against it, and the torture continues till my mind is free from this. as a child i remember feeling angst against people who lie, when my mom was unfair and generally when people are biased. if i remain allowing will this die down,, am constantly correcting others lives and am not able to enjoy because i feel people are messing up their lives. my brother constantly put me down and my mom was very hot tempered and made me feel in inferior always. releasing this momentum is scary for me,, i will be left alone as i cannot stand anyone..or maintain long term relationships because i tend to dislike people after a while and dont enjoy meeting them, my husband now does not want me to accompany him while visiting home, and thinks i spoil the harmony in their house. he loves me otherwise and we hv a happy marriage, am completely confused as to if i am good / bad,, accomodating / selfish,, am sick of trying to please everyone and getting everyone s good opinion.
priya: “am constantly correcting others lives and am not able to enjoy because i feel people are messing up their lives.”
This is ego. You may be right, but people must learn their own lessons. If you are wrongly correcting them, they might resent you. In any case, telling others how to better live their lives is indeed arrogant.
For contrast, see how Sen writes. Instead of telling anybody how to live, he tells what he has learned. He shares some personal story as example. He explains the wisdom he has gained, but does not preach it. If one is ready to hear it, there it is. If one is not ready, it will not resonate with them. By not trying to take responsibility for anybody else’s choices, Sen shares in a respectful way. Leaving others the choice to mess up their lives is not easy for someone who is attached to control, but it can be done. You probably have enough to do finding your own balance, why stress yourself (and also your relationships) needlessly trying to fix other people?
I had my wake up call about 4 years ago which took me completely out of reality for about 3 months. It was a very stressful period of my life as I had never even heard of “ego” before. I can say now though it was an experience which I will never forget in my lifetime and since then I have only grown in awareness. It completely turned my life around for the better thinking back on the experience. This is the first time I have openly spoke of it as I find not many people seem to be aware of it or are to frightened to talk about it for a fear of not being “normal”. I experience “empty mind” on a regular basis and at first found it stressful but now welcome it in my daily life. I now totally allow all that happens in my life without fear, although “ego” does step in now and again then I find my empty space once more and am at peace. I can say it is the most amazing feeling I have ever had.
Thank you for your posts they have all been most insightful to me.
I wish you well
Sue
WWOOW. Is all I have to say right now. This sums up everything that’s been happening to me. Thank you so much!
I just want to know, does allowing work because it’s an intention and expectation, or it works as a natural phenomena?
Carl, the state of allowing is basically just a directive which puts you in alignment with the movement of life. Life is a collective movement, however this collective is made up of individuals (individual minds) – just like how our body is a collective but it’s actually made up of individual cells that have their own “life”. So the collective is actually made up of the individual, and the individual is directly a part of the collective. If the individual becomes too rigid, or gets into a stance of strong resistance, then this individual energy goes into conflict with the collective movement which directly leads to unnecessary suffering for the individual (eventually the collective is higher than any individual). The state of allowing is simply a directive to recognize this collective nature/intelligence of life and get in tune with it by letting go of unnecessary rigidity/resistance. A state of openness (which is what the state of allowing points to) allows you to be constantly in sync with the collective intelligence/movement of life, and hence ensures that you have a “smoother” experience of living rather than a struggle based one. One has to understand that when you are part of a collective movement you have to honor the simple fact that you are not totally in control (and you can’t always have things the way you want them to be at any moment), and there will be aspects in your reality that may not be exactly what you want but are required from the perspective of collective intelligence (either for your personal growth or for the benefit of collective requirement), and you may be required to fulfill a certain role/responsibility/requirement as per the collective need. Also, there is the aspect of “timing”, it can take time for certain realities to shape up, it can take time for the collective to sync up a certain reality which involves more than one individual role (for example you may need a car but that directly influences several aspects of collective that need synchronization before you can have your car – all creation requires a lot of synchronization which requires time and timing. The state of allowing again points to the attitude of understanding this fact about life, and not get into a mode of resistance created by resentment, frustration, impatience, restlessness in an undue manner (some level of impatience/frustration is natural, but going over-board with it only puts you in a mode of resistance creating unnecessary suffering/strife in your experience of living).
Hey all, I’m 17 years old (turning 18 in a month! :D) and my story of spirituality began 5 months ago when I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening and it catapulted me into a vast amount of spiritual growth. It was going great at the start when I had amazing intuitive abilities and great awareness of energies and feelings, but then shit just got worse and worse until I found myself in a so called “dark night of the soul”. Right now I’m still in its process and its horrible.
I was in such a state of disarray and confusion that I had no grounding as to what I was feeling. It was though I was in a dark void of depression and fear. I’ve experienced everything from intense fear and paranoia to depersonalization/derealization. Reality has been flipped, turned and shoved in my face in so many ways.
Right now I think I’m entering the final stages. I’m experiencing a deep sense of apathy and hopelessness about everything. There’s no meaning to any of my passions. I literally have no shred of interest for life at the moment. The left side of my brain is being twisted and my memory and cognitive abilities are almost non-existant. Symptoms similar to OCD have been showing up and I find myself witnessing my deep sub-conscious thought patterns. Its weird as hell.
Maybe this is all just me being crazy, but I’m okay with that ;). And I guess what I’m trying to say is, keep your head up guys. Trust yourself and know that there are others who are going through the same fears as you.