Ego force, Brain Momentum and Emotional Accumulation

Posted on by Sen.

The journey towards finding your inner wholeness involves freedom from three forms of resistance – the ego force, brain momentum and emotional accumulation. All these three factors, in combination, contribute to an imbalanced “mind” momentum (or momentum of negativity), the mind being just a pointer to the space of thoughts in a being. The ego-force contributes to negativity, a brain in an over-drive contributes to negativity and a high emotional accumulation contributes to negativity – a combination of all the three spells out the condition of strong inner imbalance. Negativity is a term I use to indicate a disconnection from a state of balance/wholeness. Identifying each of these resistances, in you, is the first step towards understanding the root cause of negativity; without a conscious identification of these core causes you cannot really work towards releasing them. The second step is to allow a release of their momentum by consciously letting go of being identified with that particular force in you. The step of identifying the resistance requires a capacity for “awareness”, and the step of letting go requires a capacity for staying in a state of conscious/aware allowing without identification.

Understanding and observation causes an increase in “awareness”. However, it does take a certain amount of courage to let go of identifying with the pull of these “forces”, without trying to suppress them (which is what a state of conscious allowing is), to allow a release of their momentum until they are no longer powerful enough to influence your being, thus bringing you to a place of inner wholeness. Of course, awareness is the key, without being aware, of a certain force of resistance/imbalance/delusion in you, it’s not possible to release your identification with it. The state of unconscious living is when a person is lost to the pull of these forces to the extent of being a prisoner to their influence – this is what it means to lose your inner freedom. If the state of unconsciousness is continued, sooner or later, these forces gain enough momentum to become a source of constant psychological suffering, around this time is usually when a person realizes the extent to which he/she is trapped to their influence. This realization is usually the “waking point” towards seeking conscious freedom.

Bringing awareness to the ego-force

In your true essence you exist as a non-physical “being”, which I also call a “stream of consciousness” or soul, and when you are focused in your physical body you are working in tandem with the brain and the heart, which are two primary intelligences present in a body. You have an ego as a being/soul (the sense of “I”), the brain has an ego because it’s self-aware, the heart has an ego in the sense that it has preferences (the heart, as an organ, is not unconditional in its love, it has preferences towards what it connects with). Ego is not a problem, it’s a nature in life-energy, the problem is when it becomes a “force” that resists your connection with your natural wholeness, which inherently means that you are disconnected from wisdom and are lost to an egoic perspective.

In the physical realm, as a being, you become identified with the body, and take it to be your only identity, forgetting your connection with the body of life which you essentially are. Your focus can narrow down so sharply around your physicality that you end up becoming disconnected with the inner wisdom coming from your life-space. I just use terms like life-space, body of life, intelligence of your life-stream, intelligence of totality, the space of being, the space of life etc to refer to the “one” space in which everything is happening, which is all there is. I like the analogy of how different water bodies (like rivers) emerge from the ocean but are inherently connected to the ocean, and are just different expressions of it – a river cannot survive in disconnection with the ocean. As a being, you are like a river, but you can become so totally identified with your form as a river that you forget your connection with the ocean, this what it means to have a strong ego-force, which disconnects you from wholeness. You, of course, have your individual existence (just like the river has an individual presence), but you are not independent of the wholeness of life, and if you move purely from an egoic perspective you lose connection with the wisdom of wholeness.

As being you can become totally identified with the brain (along with its ego) and be a prisoner to its influence. You can also become lost to your heart, and be a prisoner to it. It’s one thing to understand your brain, and your heart, and allow a harmonious expression, but it’s a totally different thing to be a prisoner to their influence to the point where you feel helplessly pulled around by them. The brain, and the heart, on their own, lack wisdom – there are totally moved by their impulses and can go into imbalances when over-indulged. Balance requires that you bring the wisdom of wholeness to your brain, and your heart, while understanding their preferences. For example, consider the dimension of sexuality in your brain/body, if you are totally lost towards your brain’s impulses you become a prisoner to this dimension and live from a constant place of depravity – a dimension which can be enjoyed in a state of balance can become a source of psychological suffering when one is lost to its influence without any sense of inner wisdom.

The ego-force is simply the force generated by total identification with a sense of “me” without the balance of connecting with the wisdom of your life-space. Higher the ego-force stronger is the imbalance i your being, and there is some form of an evident crash that happens, eventually, as a manifestation of this disconnection. In a state of balance the ego is not a problem, as it’s working in conjunction with the wisdom of wholeness, and is not a singular force that runs your being. It’s very important to understand that the ego is not a problem by itself, it’s the imbalanced ego-force which is the problem – I reiterate this several times just to ensure there is no misunderstanding; the last thing you want is to try to reach some state of being “egoless”, which just becomes a deluded, endless, pursuit. It’s about balance, it’s not about moving from one extreme to another.

If you are wondering how to identify the ego in you, consider the below pointers

– Your ego is what feels insulted or hurt

– Your ego is what feels needy

– Your ego is what feels joy/excited on a personal achievement

– Your ego is what feels jealous of others’ achievement

– Your ego is what falls in love or feels attracted to that “special” person (heart’s ego in conjunction with your being)

– Your ego is what’s “trying” to be all loving

– Your ego is what spews anger, and it’s also what feels guilty about anger

– Your ego is what’s anxious in a social situation

– Your ego is what’s afraid of being alone, and it’s also what seeks refuge in being alone out of fear of the outside

Basically, the ego is the sense of “I” that operates in your life. When it’s in imbalance it’s a source of psychological suffering, however, when it’s not a strong force in you (and thus allows you to have connection with your space of being) it allows for a “healthy” expression. It’s easy to determine if your ego-force has a high momentum in you, just check out if you lose yourself to your ego the moment you are hurt, anxious, angered or over-excited, see how strongly you hold on to these feelings/thoughts – the stronger your hold, the stronger your ego-force.

The resistance of brain momentum

The brain, as an organ, can go on an overdrive when it’s imbued with too much attention from you (as the being). Your attention/focus has the power to “fuel” anything that it rests on, this is the principle of creation – this is the potential/power you have as life-energy. Knowing this power, in your being, is a big step towards living a conscious life of not creating an unconscious imbalance through an over-dose of focus on anything. Also, the brain, by itself, can keep re-fueling its momentum when it’s constantly “active”, and hence is in a state of “feeding itself” through its focus. For example, people who are given to watching TV, for long periods of time, are keeping their brain focused inordinately and it keeps gathering momentum. The same is true for people who are lost to a work that requires mental focus (even some creative work like writing a novel), or just lost to the habit of “thinking” inordinately, thus keeping their brain active all the time with no space of conscious rest. Such an unconscious movement causes the brain to keep building a momentum to the point where starts feeling “out of control”, where you can’t relax your thinking even if you desire to, that’s when realize that you’ve become a prisoner to your own brain.

OCD, in all its minor and major forms, is one of the symptoms of a brain that has a high momentum (though it can also be caused by a high emotional accumulation). However, it’s not the brain that’s to blame, of its own, it’s your unconscious identification with the brain, and patterns of unconscious living, that contributed to this hike in momentum. The brain can also have a strong momentum of ego-force going for itself, when it develops a strongly self-obsessed pattern of thinking – this is basically a consequence of having no understanding of the oneness of life, and thus moving totally from egoic perspectives. This ego-force, in the brain, takes the shape of strong neural pathways that take time to dissolve even after you’ve become “conscious” and are letting go of being identified with these self-obsessed patterns of thought. Even if your being is “enlightened” in terms of seeing through the influence of ego-force, it still takes time for the brain to let go of the momentum of ego-force present in it (as the neural pathways are “physical constructs” which take time to dissolve).

Imbalance created by emotional accumulation

“Sensitivity” is a nature in life-energy. Sensitivity simply means the capacity to “feel”. Sensory feelings (like the sense of touch) and emotional feelings are the two ways in which we experience sensitivity as a human being. Emotional feelings are created through our “perception”, basically they are created by what we feel about a thought, about a sensation or about an experience. In a simplistic sense, our feelings can be categorized as love, fear, joy, hatred, boredom and sexuality-based. Feelings are also “energy”, and they can get stored/accumulated when one is overly identified with them, or when one is trying to suppress them. Your identification, and suppression, are both forms of “focus” which cause the amplification of the energy of the feeling and causes the excess to get stored up as it does not find a release – this is what an emotional accumulation is all about. As a being/soul, you can have an emotional accumulation over several life-times depending on your level of unconsciousness.

The emotional accumulation becomes a problem for three reasons

1. Your emotional accumulation becomes a fuel for instigating your brain’s thinking

2. Your emotional accumulation creates resistance in your being towards inner wholeness/wisdom and causes you to move purely from the place of seeking relief from its pressure

3. A high, past, emotional accumulation (of a certain emotion like fear) causes you to feel “intolerant” towards that feeling (in your present), as it becomes too painful to handle. It’s like when the ballon is filled up with air, every ounce of air you add brings it to a point of bursting.

Letting go of your past emotional accumulation requires you to go through a phase of consciously allowing these stored-up “energies” to come up and be released – it feels unpleasant to sense these accumulated feelings come up in your consciousness, but without this conscious release the momentum just keeps regenerating itself.

All the three forces (ego-force, brain momentum and emotional momentum) get released, and you find a space of inner wholeness in your being, as you consciously allow their momentum to ebb away. It involves growing in awareness of their presence in you and then releasing their momentum in a state of allowing by letting go of your identification.

(You can read the post – the state total allowing and FAQ on the state of allowing for a better understanding of what I mean by conscious allowing)

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  1. Poornima

    To all

    Hello. I came across this blog in February this year. I hope this comment gives help to anyone who reads.

    Back in February I was not completely strict about the following part, to be honest now it was interesting stuff to be practiced at leisure. I understood, but it was nothing urgent yet. Then in mid June, I faced an undesirable personal situation and then I knew I had to take things more seriously and give my 100% if things were to get better.

    It was quite depressing at first because of the situation, but since August, things changed, which I can see now, but at that time it couldn’t. It only looked as if I had no idea what to do with my life, what I was, a complete identity crisis (I’m 23, and just out of university after post-graduation), with constant parental pressure to go along with their wishes – to get married soon and get into some job (because ‘the longer you sit idle, the lesser your opportunities become’). Well, it is still the same with them, though they’re not on my back anymore.

    Most importantly I wanted to share what has happened with me so far regarding – Ego force, Brain Momentum and Emotional Accumulation. And my personal report is:

    Brain Momentum – There is nothing right now. I don’t get influenced or anxious, thoughts don”t bother me like they once did. It was quite torturous before, that I took in everything the mind said, because then I understood it as a part of me, so how can it lie? Now I don’t get carried away (unless I choose to, and that happens sometimes :/ This is what Sen talks about in his post A Question of Attitude)
    Tip – What really does it for me is the understanding that all thoughts that make us feel bad are essentially not true, they don’t agree with our non-physical part/nature, so -obviously- the bad feeling thought is just a lie which the mind has come up with. So why am I paying attention to it, believing it? Seems masochistic. And this stops me from believing and identifying.

    Emotional Accumulation – I dont feel the effect of thoughts in the body (i.e. emotions), like if I”m sad, I dont feel this tug in my solar plexus as I used to etc. This has happened because I just became open to anything that arose in me, any feeling. About a month after the crisis was I relaxed enough to be in this position of letting go. I won’t talk about how long it took me, because that is irrelevant, but you can be completely free of feeling these thoughts in your body. This is a good thing for me, because I was empathic. Now it’s not a problem anymore, now I know I’m sad/angry/depressed, but I don’t feel it. Most often I go back and try to understand calmly what put me off.

    Ego Force – This is still there, I guess, because I dont feel whole yet o.o And the answer is allowing, so I’ll have to finally get into that. I didn’t before because I didn’t seem to connect, so it wasn’t ‘interesting’, I suppose, to my mind. Can anyone share their experiences about this? About how they connect, get guided/inspired?

    Any thoughts or suggestions, Sen?

    So that’s that. My thanks to Sen and all those who write their helpful comments 🙂

    1. Casey


      Congratulations on your work towards balance. I found Sen in June and have constantly come back to his teachings of mind momentum reduction/allowing and not identifying with negative thoughts. His pointer that our brain is a computer that sends waves of thoughts separate from our being continues to be a help for me. My life was flooded with anxiety in late April over my father’s death and a my own health scare. Resistance and negativity are still present but their intensity is way down. Sen reminds me that impatience is resistance and a form of control. I find when I focus on the amount of time it’s taking to feel balanced again, feelings of resistance and anxiety return.

      My own advice to you is the same for me: Patience. We can’t help but refind balance through awareness and conscious allowing. My new mantra is “It takes the time it takes”.

      BTW, I love your comment that “the thoughts that make us feel bad are essentially not true”. I’ve felt that way for years but recently have forgotten and allowed myself to be “carried away in thoughts”. Best of luck in your progression.

    2. Sen Post author

      Poornima, You have a good understanding of this process, and that’s what really helps to allow one to not get stuck with the usual loops. Releasing the brain and emotional momentum does take a “conscious” letting go, to allow the release, which you seem to done quite effectively which is why you were able to see a significant reduction in their momentum with time. As for the ego-force, it’s mostly created from a “struggle based”, and deluded, way of thinking. The simple hint is that it’s based in the grounding of lack, fear and dis-trust in life (which causes it to be rooted in struggle based thinking), so once you see through this pattern of thinking in you, and you consciously let go of being identified with this way of thinking, your ego-force will start dissolving in momentum. The ego (which is basically your mind) is not a problem, and you will always have ego in you, and it will have dimensions of light and dark nature, the deal is to be free of its “force” or grip on your being – you should get an inner sense that you are not dominated by your ego’s thinking, that’s when you know you’ve found your freedom from it. Once you are free of your ego’s domination, you can use your ego’s perspective in conjunction with the perspective of inner wisdom to find a harmonious expression in your life.

  2. Chow


    does inner guidance work even if you are lost in ego negativity? For example, I am releasing my accumulated negative energy, and it seems overwhelming sometimes, so, on some days I am completely disfunctional. And I ask myself, will this inner guidance move me when it is time to move – when I’m lost in negativity? Or is it possible to be sometimes too lost in negativity to miss some important opportunities? On different places I found this pointer – “relax, your inner guide will always lead you. When it’s time for you to do something, body will move.”
    So, there is guidance only when I relax? When I resist, I’m not guided by life-force, so I’m somewhere else other than life (I) really want me to be or…? Do I have some wrong perspective here?

    1. Chow

      Also, maybe you can comment on this, it is connected to my previous question…

      Question : How did ignorance (avidya] arise at all?
      Ramana Maharshi : Ignorance never arose. It has no real being. That which is, is only vidya [knowledge].

      Question : Why then do I not realize it?
      Ramana Maharshi : Because of the samskaras. However, find out who does not realize and what he does not realize. Then it will be clear that there is no avidya.

      What did he mean by “ignorance never arose.” ? I imagine he is saying somewhat like “supreme intelligence” is operating either you know it or not…

    2. Sen Post author

      Chow, different teachers have different ways of explaining a truth, some are very “philosophical” while some are more scientific in their approach. it’s just that certain philosophical explanations can confuse the mind easily – the teacher is well-being, but may not really understand how a normal mind can misinterpret the words.

      For example, when Ramana says “ignorance never arose”, it’s basically an incorrect statement in a relative sense but he’s just speaking from an absolute perspective. The relative perspective is that ignorance is very much a reality, and ignorance is a phase that a being/soul goes through unconsciously until one wakes up to one’s truth consciously. In a state of ignorance/delusion is how the mind momentum, emotional momentum and ego-force develop (that’s what Ramana calls Samskaras). So, for a being going through a phase of unconsciousness, ignorance is a reality. When one releases the hold of these resistances one becomes aligned with one’s truth (in understanding and in the state of being(inner wholeness))and lives from this place, and hence no longer is in the hold of ignorance.

    3. Sen Post author

      Chow, the fear of losing inner guidance is a significant fear by itself. Basically, true inner power is when you don’t feel the “need” for any assurance – when you align with this inner power is when you can really come to a place of inner freedom. If you give in to fears thrown up by the mind, saying – “what if I lose inner guidance during the release”, then it just keeps you a hostage to this fear. Don’t look for “assurances”, develop the power to be open to what arises, this openness is exactly what’s needed to find your inner freedom. The moment you fear “losing important opportunities” you’ve already given up your power to the fears.

      Of course, the basic truth is that the lesser your inner resistance there more easily you are connected with the intelligence of your life-force. In the state of allowing your resistance is “low”, even if there is an overwhelming release of accumulated negativity, and hence you are in tune with the intelligence/grace of your life-stream, and in a sense it’s your life-force that’s orchestrating the release itself by creating certain events that can trigger the release. However, it’s not really about clinging to these assurances, but about developing the inner power to have the willingness to ride through anything that arises.

    4. Alias

      Everything is perceived through the “I”. Ignorance is “to ignore”, consciously or unconsciously, it does not exist on it’s own. As long as the “I” is, there is division. When the “I” ceases, there is unity, but it cannot be perceived by the mind and therefore does not return any experience. It is absolute void – but a void that includes all. Teachers speak enigmatically sometimes, simply because their awareness includes areas (of space and time) that do not translate into words. So what is important is to neither ignore them, nor to give too much thought to what they say. Live your life smoothly and become a teacher to yourself (which is inevitable if you are serious enough, you’ll see)

  3. Chris

    Hi Sen,

    I’ve read that the subconscious is what controls most actions and how you feel about yourself,if thats the case does that make most conscious and where you place attention thought kind of irrelevant?

    I’ve managed to change some beliefs I have about myself ,one or two negeative ones persist even when I give them attention and allow them fully,is this because there is the subconscious and out of my reach?Or am I mistaken?

    Thanks for the wise words.

  4. Chris

    Hi Sen,

    I’ve read that the subconscious is what controls most actions and how you feel about yourself,if thats the case does that make most conscious thought and where you place attention kind of irrelevant?

    I’ve managed to change some beliefs I have about myself ,one or two negeative ones persist even when I give them attention and allow them fully,is this because there in the subconscious and out of my reach?Or am I mistaken?

    Thanks for the wise words.

  5. Sunrise


    Great post and thanks for everything you do.
    During my teen years, I experienced events that allowed me to accumulate lots of fear. The fear got worse by me obsesively thinking about it and re-living the situation (with the mind) over and over. Now, as an adult, and after being practicing your teachings, I have been able to conciously let go of being identified with the obssesive thinking and the momentum has significantly slowed down. With regards to the fear, whenever I find myself in situations similar to what originally caused it, I still get the same strong “fear” feelings and emotions. As soon as I move out of the situation the feelings go away. You mentioned that in order to let go completely of this past accumulation requires me to got through a phase of consciously allowing these stored-up energies to come up and be released. My question is, do I need to put myself through such experiences and situations so I can consciously let go and “deal” with the fears? Thanks in advance for your response.

    1. Sen Post author

      Sunrise, You don’t have to force yourself into any situation, but if you sense that a certain situations in your life are creating a grip of fear in you, it just points to the fact that fear, as an emotional energy, still has a prominent momentum in you – the situations don’t really matter, what matters is the presence of this momentum in you. Though you may think that only certain situation trigger this fear momentum, the fact is that the momentum is present nevertheless and it can get triggered that moment some challenge arises. So you can just use these situations (when they occur) as a pointer to recognize the momentum of fear present in you, and if you are in the middle of such a situation just allow this fear to arise fully without distancing yourself from it. Life can help you release these fears, by creating a “harmless” situation (which does not harm your well-being in any real sense, like a false alarm) that causes your fears to get triggered (part of grace) – when they do get triggered, don’t try to fight the situation, rather just focus on allowing this fear energy/momentum to arise in you in a state of allowing, and thus allow its release. It’s also helpful sometimes to consciously visualize certain situations that create fear in you (in your mind), so that you can trigger the release.

  6. Valerie

    I have really been getting a lot of understanding and a more clear sense of what I have been doing for the past year and a bit in these two latest posts most of all. Thank you for choosing to share your wisdom and inspiration. It is very enlightening.

  7. abet


    It is great to hear about your experience I feel like I am in the same exact stage as you. The only thing with me is that I still feel the emotion connected to my thoughts in my body..

    Sen you say that suffering is resistance to what arises but what if we can’t make ourselves be open.. What if the mind resists the teates that one up all by itself

    1. Jim

      abet,et al, your thoughts and emotions will always feel connected to your body, that’s how our bodies are designed, however, it is we as nonphysical consciousness that can separate from these physical experiences of the body and allow them to do what they need to, eg, reduce momentum, resistance, etc. Been exactly where you are. Continue to separate (identify and allow) who you are as conscious awareness (non physical) from your thoughts and emotions created by your brain (physical).

  8. J

    Hi Poornima,
    Thank you for sharing. I have been following this process for several months now. It has been a brutal transition but I know it works. Last week is when I finally started to see a break through and felt peace and inner freedom but no such luck that it would stay. The past few days I have felt so annoyed, frustrated, angered and brought to tears. It is the worst I have felt in my body since I first started. However in the beginning my thoughts were really giving me a fight, they seemed to get worse before they slowed down but what has been going on with me the past few days is by far the worst.

    I had a high mind momentum so it took awhile for me to know when I felt inspired but I had also lost all desire to do anything. Before I found this site, I had a mental break down. I use to always get into action in order to distract my thoughts and feelings but something just shifted and my mind body connection was not going to allow this anymore. I was at an impasse. I had to sit still for a very long time before my mind stopped telling me what to do to ignore this whole process. When it was just my mind telling me, it felt like just a babble of thoughts, with just a feeling up in my head. Once I felt better and as I was inspired, I could tell that when I had a thought about doing something it seemed to be a whole mind, body connection. I could feel it in my core.
    It may take time for you to stay aware and watch how your mind works before you really know for yourself.

    I look forward to having a wavering peace of inner freedom. Im hoping its just around the corner for both of us!

    I wish you the best and take care!

    1. Poornima

      hi J,

      I can relate to your experiences of feeling the low feelings, where you’re so elated and understand the whole picture in one moment, and the next day or possibly in a few hours you fall into a slight depression, deeper if you’re not aware of it. And this results in annoyance, frustration etc.

      From what you’ve said, it seems like being calm (reaching the space of allowing) is the key to get inspiration or go through any inner transformation – the one thing I’ve been constantly putting off, sheesh. It is nice you recognise your inspirations 🙂 I’ve yet to.

      I wish you the same, I am sure it is not very far off. I’m reminded of what Sen wrote in a post, that the global transformation would be in a few months, which makes me think of December o.o

  9. GB

    While practicing relaxed awareness, my back and head shakes involuntarily and sometimes shakes vigorously.I’m curious to know what it means.

  10. Poornima

    Hi Casey,

    Thanks for emphasising the importance of patience – it is the clearest sign to show our trust in life, isnt it. And when we are impatient, well, we are doubting life.

    Hm, it is strange that we know all we need to know and do, but we don’t follow through on it till the situation becomes quite bad. Imagine if we had just one pointer: ‘Let go’ and no other information, then I think we would follow it, and not let the mind have so many doubts.

    1. Markus

      It seems we do know all we need to know and do – but that knowledge is what is blocked out by the mind. Also, in the thick of our problems, it is hard to see where we are. Taking a step back allows both opening to our inner wisdom and giving the mind a chance to see that no, that old pattern or habit will no longer do.

  11. Poornima


    I never knew, till I read in a post, that feeling emotions in the body is an imbalance (unless it’s biological, to help us in dangerous situations). I can tell you how it went with me, and maybe it clears it a bit for you. In my ‘bad situation’, I just gave up fighting/thinking about solving it. And I had trouble falling asleep, because all the thoughts and fears would come up, along with the emotions in the body. After a few days, I started to face these thoughts. If the thought said ‘This can happen.’ I replied, ‘So what? Will it really harm me?’ and so on, and once the argument was won, the thoughts stopped for the night and I went to sleep. Sleep came more easily from then without being nagged. But till I paid attention to those thoughts, it was a mental torture. After about two weeks, I suddenly noticed that I couldn’t feel any physical emotion to a low thought. And guess what, I was not satisfied – lol. It didn’t feel great, it just felt normal. So normal that I thought maybe it was always like this, and it is only now I notice. And I tested it out a lot, thinking of undesirable things. And it really had gone.

    So if you find yourself unable to face fears, maybe you can use the tactic of asking why is this fear so bad? : So what if my family thinks I’m being lazy? So what if so-and-so won’t like me? So what if my parents and friends judge me? The answers to these we know, that it does not matter. But knowing and living are different. When you really stop caring, you won’t feel the fear in your body 🙂

    Are your ego-force and brain-momentum completely down?

  12. Iz

    Hey Sen,

    Most of what i have read from you’re articles gives me the impression that willpower and effort are not supposed to take part in our lives. Right now, I seek to have a healthier lifestyle, especially with food, but that is something that I feel certainly needs willpower, especially if I want to stay away from the delicious yet not so healthy things i like. But at the same time, part of me feels as if I want to eat better just to look better for the chance to get the ladies. This reason seems so egotistical to me, but its the honest truth. Anyways back to the willpower thing, is it truly wrong, to push myself to eat better for such a reason? Is willpower ever necessary, or should living a healthier lifestyle be effortless? It’s not over excitement, just drive i suppose. I guess at least i admitted it to myself, so if I consciently choose that it’s okay to act upon this less noble reason even if my mind produces doubt, does… that make it fine? Do awareness and a more noble look on things go hand in hand or is it my choice? My mind produces a little bit of guilt when I just allow this because it views it as kinda insecure which it might indeed be.

    I also have a second question about feelings and emotions and the body. So when feelings occur we should only feel them in our minds correct? When I listen to awesome classical pieces, like Chopin’s famous nocturne, I feel this sort of joy over my face and head, everything is so peaceful. Can you give me your perspective on this? Is it something that I should stay away from or is it fine? Thankee

    1. Markus

      Iz, you sound halfway there – admitting your desire for yummy food and shunning it for ego reasons. I’d suggest not setting yourself up to feel guilt or shame about wanting not-so-healthy things. If that is what you want, enjoy it – but take the time to reflect and understand why you are drawn to it. The difference is trading
      “I judge this food to be bad and I am less because I want it” for…
      “I am drawn to this food, which tells me ___ about myself”

      Does this food give you emotional comfort? Is it just the physical sensations of the food? Is it an ego reflection (e.g. I can afford this expensive but unhealthy food)? Whatever the reason is, find it. Once you’ve brought it into the open, you can let it go.

  13. Ati

    sen , thanks .

  14. Anu

    Hello Sen,

    Here is update from for last 3 weeks or so:

    1. I get ruminations and they pull me sometimes. Sometimes, they don’t. I just do not know what will happen. It is scary but I am not trying to re-assure myself or force myself to be one way or another. Not very pleasant state.

    2. I am tired all the time. I feel aches and pain.
    3. I have no desire to work or plan or do anything.

    Overall: Not a very comfortable or pleasant state….


    1. Dipti


      You can refer to the reply I just did to mercy…I guess you are also on the same path..Just Allow everything.

      If you feel tired, dont fight with the mind for your functionality Just rest & allow body/mind to rest. Aches & pain are symptoms of energy getting released.

      Dysfunctionality is the most common feeling when you go through allowing..If you dont feel anything to do just dont force yourself…

      Lastly, yes releasing is an very uncomfortable state, its just that how much you are open to allow these unpleasant feelings..if you can accept healthy & happy state why cant you accept unpleasant state.. This feelings will start ebbing you once you open fully to whatever arises.

      Best of Luck.

  15. Marcy

    Hi Sen!
    Anyone on the forum is requested to answer this query of mine.I have been practising allowing and since then there seems to be a huge surge of energy in my head.Though,I am not sure if I am doing the release properly.This energy thing seems to move in my head, towards the crown,forehead and is associated with significant vibrations.It is very uncomfortable and is scary because it is difficult to ignore it.It just keeps moving like a wind sometimes even towards the limbs,though it is never released.Doctors dont seem to understand this and it is unbearable to feel continuous vibrations.My body even shakes with this energy movement.My work and studies are also getting affected .I have temporatily stopped all meditation and yet there seems to be no relief.Could anyone throw some light?Thanking you in anticipation.

    1. Markus

      Marcy, try lying down and breathing to direct the energy. Imagine the breath moving up your back and down the front, while keeping the tip of your tongue touching the backs of your front teeth. See if this calms the uncomfortable feeling or chaotic ‘windy’ feeling.

      You may be able to release some energy by kicking and punching straight in front of yourself in a methodical way. Use both sides evenly if you do this.

    2. Dipti


      These are the symptoms of allowing suppressed negative energy in your body. Different bodies have different symptoms. Just be open to the feelings of being uncomfortable. This may seem difficult initially but as soon as you progress to the journey it will start dissolving (the best attitude required right now is to just allow what is happening). By scare of it, you are either trying to suppress or getting over-identified with the feelings. Just remember its not your being who is scary, its a mind because it has started to loose the battle. Bring your awareness to this uncomfortable feelings & you will see how mind makes us scary & play different games to hold its own identity. For just now, allow everything that comes up without judging it.

    3. Will

      Yes, I do agree with you that doctor’s don’t tend to understand what allowing means .. I am in the same boat. There is so much uncomfortable feelings and body shaking is due to the fear & anxiety that arises when we let go of vital agreements or belief’s that we are holding on and it feels very scary and unpredictable, even I am in this phase where in I have difficulty to figuring out, how to move. One more thing I have been facing is my perception or when I think : I will do this now: Say like, I will do ‘X’ task now then when I hold on to this thought and want do it with determination, I am not able to use my determination, my will , instead I feel a strong opposing force to my ‘will power ‘not allow me to do this ‘X’ task that is important, which is essential for my day to day life. I have been facing this kind of opposing force for one and half year now( and not been able to fulfill on any of my commitments because of this, and now I see that this opposing force is taking over me, literally I feel I am not able to operate, I am not able to determine any thing.

      There is lot of free energy, but not able to do anything. (I can sense some strong force opposing and taking over now). Looking forward to resolve.. please help.

    4. Marcy

      Markus, Dipti! Thanks for your replies! At present I have this force kind of a feeling in my head all time trying to push through the top. I have done the exercises etc but its not stopping! It feels as if this energy needs some path to move out of my head!It keeps pushing through!Your suggestions are welcome!

    5. Markus

      Marcy, you may be visiting the wrong sort of doctor. Have you sought help from either acupuncturist or shiatsu massage therapist? What you describe sounds like one or more of the energy meridians being blocked or overwhelmed. Both of those approaches would be practiced by one trained to know meridians and how to redirect energy flow. It might be worth looking into either to help get you balanced.

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