FAQ on the State of Allowing
Based on the emails I receive and the queries posted via comments, I’ve compiled a list of a few frequently asked questions/clarifications with an explanation for each. Is the state of allowing the same as watching thoughts? No, the state of allowing is not about being stridently aware of one’s thoughts, rather it’s a state […]
Link back to full article: https://www.calmdownmind.com/faq-on-the-state-of-allowing/
Rahul,
At the end there where you said “this is more about letting the mind do what it wants all the time” is exactly the right understanding about the state of allowing and how it applies to the mind momentum. I’m just going to provide my understanding of the mind and hopefully help clear up any confusion.
Basically, there are two ways to go about what arises:
Resisting – This way not only can cause a person to keep fueling their mind momentum but also it means that the mind momentum doesn’t have the opportunity to arise and use up its past fuel (momentum). Also, you are indeed correct in your comment when you said you felt like intentionally trying to “stop contracting” was suppression (which is also another form of resistance.
Allowing – This way allows the mind momentum the freedom to do what it wants until its fuel (momentum) runs out. For example, if your mind wants to contradict a fearful thought, give it the full freedom to do so. You can think of it working like this, the mind contradicting a thought is also just the mind running on its past fuel. In order to do this contradiction activity the mind must use some of this past fuel. Because you are allowing this to arise, the fuel is getting used up and because you are no longer trying to resist it there is no more refueling of this momentum. So now its just a waiting thing until the momentum has been all used up.
Again, you already have the correct understanding, and the understanding that you already have is more than enough. I am just hoping to clear up some confusion and explain the mechanics as well.
An oldie but a goldie:
http://www.calmdownmind.com/allow-mind-momentum-to-slow-down/
Okay, so essentially in the state of allowing, you can trust that the mind is always “allowing” on auto-pilot because any thoughts it has are a product of its past fuel. Even resisting our thoughts still counts as “allowing”, because by trying to stop the resistance, we are suppressing. Essentially, we don’t have to worry about the mind “allowing” – even this thought of “I’m not allowing” is allowed by the mind. It’s more important to focus on being open to emotions/negativity that arises, and the mind will fall into place on its own. In other words, the mind can do no wrong, it can think and do what it wants but the main pointer is to be conscious of and allow the EMOTIONAL reaction to those thoughts of the mind. Does all this make sense? This is my understanding right now.
Rahul,
Yes, that makes sense, just realize that its not about whether your mind is or isn’t allowing, but its about you are allowing your mind to be (whether it wants to be allowing or not). Truly this whole process brings you to a point where you have an attitude of totally allowing (which becomes a permanent way of being), so basically its just an attitude/ choice that you can make at any time where you make a choice to allow what arises to arise. It is this attitude that really allows the mind momentum to drop off as quick as possible.
Hope this helps
Also articles:
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-attitude-required-for-inner-freedom/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/ego-force-brain-momentum-and-emotional-accumulation/
If I have a thought like “I am not capable of being aware of my thoughts”, and I bring awareness to this thought and the fear emotion it produces, I am effectively disproving that thought -proving that I do in fact have awareness. However, does this mean that I am fighting that thought, by proving that I do have awareness? I mean, I clearly have the capability to be aware of my thoughts, but when my mind has the thought that “I am not capable of awareness”, do I allow it – not disagree with it or agree with it, or do I try to ignore it because it’s blatantly wrong? This may be a bit of over-analyzing, but I’m just a bit confused.
Thank you
Looking more closely, this could just reveal my fear of suppressing thoughts/my fear of “not allowing”, in which case I can simply allow that I may or may not be “allowing” (the paradox). Does this seem to make sense?
Hello Sen,
I have read many of your articles and I think they are brilliant and seem to describe exactly what’s going on in my mind. I have identified myself to be in phase 2 and transitioning towards phase 3. I have identified the activities, relationships and self-image that are dysfunctional and are getting rid of them.
I feel like kinda stuck and wasting time because I’m very tired and depressed when I just be with myself and let go. I have also very serious sleeping problems which affect my waking hours’ efficiency. I have some ideas and goals that I want to complete but they need a lot of work. Should I just relax and let go fully or try to bring new things in my life while letting go of the past momentum?
It feels like I have ideas and goals in my head, but I don’t have the strength to implement them properly and I also don’t know how to prioritize them. It feels like I’m trying to do too many things at once and I don’t know how to prioritize the goals because I should do them all as quickly as possible to avoid being stuck. These goals include finishing up with my studies, moving to a new apartment and transitioning from 60% working hours to 80% or 100%. I feel that after I complete these goals I can start living the life I have always wanted and not constantly live in the future or past.
I have been in two relationships which have taken about 4 years of my life and have identified myself to be selfless, very needy and light-natured. My relationships were probably ruined because of this and I have used so much time and effort to them that I hadn’t any strength left for achieving my own goals and it seems that I have the same goals as 4 years ago and all my friends and ex-girlfriends have moved on. Achieving the goals seems realistic in about 1,5 years or so, but the workload seems currently a bit overwhelming because I’m focusing on letting go and feeling depressed/tired/unmotivated, and at the same time I feel bad about being stuck. Should I just relax or pursue with my goals with hard discipline even if I feel miserable?
Another thing is that the letting go seems to reflect a bit externally as well because I’m being alone so much at the time and feel kinda anxious at social encounters. My mom and friends are also a bit worried because I’m so much alone and my personality/opinions are changing. The thing is, because I focus so much on being alone and letting go, I don’t really have any things/activities to share with other people. I’m also afraid that I will waste my time on silly activities like playing games or watching tv-series and such when I’m simply too tired to achieve my goals. Can you provide some guidance on this?
Thank you Sen so much for all the insight you have provided.
Hi Sen,
I want to seek clarification on Allowing and Let Go.
If I take the analogy of someone placing a warm iron metal (say negative or bad feelings) on my palm. I am not sure if this is a good analogy but then the mind wants some specific pointers to start with.
Allowing is like allowing oneself to feel the heat and the discomfort it brings with it. SO that eventually one day it will not cause discomfort and u become stable in the realisation that it is hot and it causes discomfort.
Is letting go like dropping the metal from your palm in a relaxed way and not forced or suppressed way? I know I am sounding a bit off here but u can get the picture.
The reason i ask is that I have seen through all the dimension of one particular fear in me. I also know the frequency with which it comes. Now I am more or less stable towards the fear because I have been allowing it from a month almost. Now today when the thought came again instead of allowing it I became disinterested in the fear and stopped thinking about it( i did not suppress it) I felt like the fear felt ordinary in that it has arisen so many times in the past month. its almost like it bored me now. SO can I just drop the metal and not hink of it further.
If a particular thought is bothering me, do I have to fully understand it and analyze it? Or do I just have to be aware that this thought is bothering me, but I don’t have to analyze it. I’m new to this method because in the past if a thought was bothering me I would often analyze and try to solve it.
Ravneet, you need not analyze or understand. What is needed is the willingness to experience it and let it go. If you want to understand, that is ok. Sen has mentioned this is some other posts. By thinking more about the bothersome thought, you give it more momentum. This is the opposite of what you are trying to do.
This post helps illustrate what Markus is talking about in his replay and can also help you understand more about bothersome thoughts (was a big help to me back when I stumbled upon this blog in a time with a lot of anxiety and obsessive thinking). It also really helps you to gain an understanding of how thoughts work and how thoughts can create heavy negative feelings in us (also destructive high feelings as well follow the same aspects of having high momentum).
http://www.calmdownmind.com/overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
As Markus stated its fine to gain an understanding, but be careful that you are not trying to cling to an understanding to find a solution to the bothersome thoughts, expecting that an understanding will be able to make the thoughts go away on its own. What an understanding does allow you to do (such as understanding how the thoughts work on a mind/energy level like how they release their momentum) is it allows the state of allowing to speed up because you understand what’s happening and thus removing any resistance (or as Markus said it increases your willingness) to this process of allowing. In addition, the process also speeds up because you don’t spend time in your head wondering about why all this is happening so much but rather you do the important work of continuing the process. No understanding on its own is going to take away obsessive thinking without you doing the internal work.
Best of Luck,
Tyler
markus see when a release happens in me it happens anywhere at anytime and I am conscious of it. but there is a good lot of the time I am not is this because I am living a lot of my time subconiously?
john, as Sen describes conscious allowing, you being conscious of a release is what makes it effective. When something comes up, we can be aware of it and allow it, or we can give it more attention, or ignore (suppress) it. Only when we allow it without giving it more momentum will there be a helpful release.
There are times when it is ok not to heed to your inner turmoil. While you drive a car, or write a report for the boss, or whatever, your attention needs to be on the task at hand. As long as you take some time to consciously allow whatever arises, there is room for growth. No need to push yourself to do so more than you can while living life.
How would I intensify negative thoughts? Someone on here was describing them feeling the thoughts in their highest intensity, so they could be dissolved, and I feel that I am a notch or two below that.
(As of today) I try and focus on the thought in a bid to make it worse but it stays in relatively low intensity.
When you say allow the mind what it wants to do does that involve having the freedom to whine fully.In my case when the release gets too uncomfortable I start whining rather than remain silent.Its almost impossible for me to remain silent as there is a lot of whining energy and my mind wants to whine and complain a lot.I am going through highs and lows.Earlier it was only lows for me.
My main problem is that I am feeling weak a lot,like vulnerable and sensitive and meek and this meekness wants to whine a lot.I have been in this process for almost one year but instead of becoming stable I am feeling weak and meek.I do not whine the whole day but a phase comes where I feel weak and uncertain and then my mind wants to whine and complain.My main concern is that this whining will never move me to freedom.I will remain weak forever.
I agree that my fear intensity has been reduced but it is still there and my insecurities are still there.So my question is “Is it okay to whine when my mind wants to whine,will this whining naturally fed away or will it feed to my momentum.I am so confused”
Viraj, you can allow the whining aspect that’s happening in the mind while being observant of it rather than being totally pulled into it – even if 50% of you is identified with the whining, you can hold 50% awareness of this movement of identification. Whining does arise from a place of self-pity and powerlessness, and usually there is some external blame involved. Though it’s fine to feel bad about some aspects of your current situation (balanced hatred), the indulgence in a constant whining towards the situation is simply a focus towards imbalanced powerlessness. The energy of whining will fade away the more you let go of your identification with it, and in a place of balance you can complain about some situation without getting overly vested into the complain mode. Healthy complains/criticism can be useful towards making betterment, or enforcing some improvement, but an overdose of whining just becomes repulsive to the outside and you just end up being seen as a kill joy or an irritant.
As i have read eckhart tolle’s book power of now it says that you need to watch your thoughts and consciously dis identify with your negative thought patterns in order to be free of emotional pain and suffering which is just in contrast with your teachings. Before reading his book i have been following what you have been saying.But i am in a total confusion.He says that if you are not conscious and lost in thoughts, you will never be able to loose its grip on you. please can you clear my confusions?
Koera, the pointer that Tolle gives about “staying present” is a pointer towards developing awareness or growing in awareness. It’s for people who have a low awareness, and using this pointer they can develop a stronger awareness of their mind, emotions and body. I use the term “relaxed awareness” to refer to the same. As you develop a better awareness you are in a position to start the process of “release” through the state of allowing.
Have been in a process of energy detox in many variants for 3 months now (due to an anxiety disorder) under different variants, but all the sites that I went to say the same thing: just allow the sensations, the thoughts and let go.
The only problem is that I am having a hard time concentrating while reading for school because this energy is springing up and wanting to be released, making me feel fatigued and making it really difficult to really read a page with concentration.
Any thoughts, please?