When you deviate from the core personality of your mind/brain, you start living with an “alter ego” where you are unconsciously forcing yourself to be someone you are not. The reasons for not aligning with the core personality of your mind are many
– You felt judged during your childhood when you tried to be yourself, and hence decided to take over an “altered” personality that met the expectations of your surroundings
– You felt vulnerable showing yourself to be who you are, and hence decided to suppress certain part of your personality
– Going through a lot of hurt and pain caused you to suppress certain aspects of your personality, usually out of a bitterness towards it
– You felt the need to “show off” to others, in a bid to hide your insecurities, and hence took on an altered personality when you were in the outside world
The truth is that the core personality of your mind is not going to change – it’s hard wired, and is a part of your natural makeup. When you create an altered personality structure, your brain has to expend a lot of resources trying to maintain this structure and it also enters into a conflict with its “natural personality”. This is one reason for hearing the “two voices” in your head – one coming from your natural personality and the other coming from your altered personality. You can play this game unconsciously for a long time, until you become totally confused about what your mind’s natural personality is like – this is usually the point where you start feeling “clueless” about a lot of aspects of your life, undecided about what you want and where your priorities really lie.
Releasing the leash on your mind
It takes so much effort to “pretend” to be someone you are not. The only reason you ever decide to wear an altered personality is out of a deep insecurity within yourself, where you feel inferior about yourself. Your physical existence is all about your mind, and if you are disconnected with the natural personality of your mind, it’s the best way to attract a messed up reality. The irony is that most people take their altered personality to be their natural personality, and try to suppress their natural personality by labeling it as negative.
Due to a lot of fear-based conditioning, the very idea of freeing the mind can feel scary to a lot of people. The idea of struggle has been so strongly programmed, that freedom feels like a guilty place to exist. Some people who understand this pointer and start freeing their mind immediately get gripped by fear, stating – “my mind seems to go into all kinds of tangents, I don’t think this is a good thing”. The truth is that you have been suppressing your mind the way you push down a “spring”, so when you release it, initially, there is an immediate burst before it can settle down – it’s just that a lot of people are unwilling to experience this “burst” for while, and get scared of it, and try to put a leash back on the mind.
I understand that when you do start letting go of your “hold” on the mind, there can be a huge surge of suppressed emotions and thoughts that come up for a short while, and this surge feels unpleasant to handle. But just contemplate the fact that this surge is just an evidence of the amount of suppression you have been imposing on yourself – and the sooner you release this suppression the better it is for your overall well-being (physical and mental). It’s just a temporary phase anyway, and you are grown-up enough to handle it for a while. There can be some periods of such surges that you may go through for a few weeks or a few months, but they keep reducing in intensity and length, until you finally just reach a place of stability. The entire purpose of “letting go” is to allow this surge to expend itself, for harmony/balance to return – your suppression caused the imbalance, and this surge is just mitigating that imbalance, when it ends the balance returns. (I call this phase 3 of alignment in this post – Awakening, transcendence and return of focus)
A period of disorientation is possible when you re-align
Of course, it can be quite challenging, initially, to align with your natural personality and allow your natural expression, because you feel addicted to your suppressed living, and the thought of living a “free” life brings a lot of fears to the mind. It’s also true that as you start aligning with your mind’s natural expression, you will start seeing a lot of shifts in your external reality as all the “incongruent realities” start dissolving – everything that you were maintaining out of suppression, or force, starts coming down, this again can be a source of challenge. It’s of immense value to have an understanding that what’s happening is similar to a “detox” where the toxic elements in your life are being filtered out, so that a new reality can come in place, a reality that’s congruent with your natural makeup. The more suppressed your life was, the bigger the shifts that happen as you let go.
It’s not possible to bypass this phase of “detox” and just jump over to the phase of full alignment – because everything in life follows a “linear” progression, its pure physics the way energy takes shape. So going through the phase of detox is the domain you need to pass through before reaching the phase of full alignment – you can think of the detox phase as the phase of deconstruction of the incompatible in you. It’s very common to have a sense of disorientation, or confusion, about what’s going on, as you realign with the natural makeup of your mind – usually because the “familiar” incongruent realities seem to melt away, which can leave you feeling groundless for a while. Of course, it’s just a very temporary phase of disorientation and you will find your ground again (what I call the return of focus) as a new, aligned, reality starts taking shape.
A clear-minded existence
When you allow your core personality to have free expression you feel very clear headed, and there is a sense of decisiveness and stability about you. Also, in your personal reality, you don’t attract people who are not compatible with you, because you have a clear sense of what you want in a relationship. You will find yourself being shifted out of circumstances that don’t match you, and will find yourself attracting a circle that resonates with your core personality.
You will also see your life become effortless. By “effortless” I don’t mean “inactive” – I just mean you will feel like your actions are happening effortlessly, in a flow, in a joy. You could be busy for 12 hours a day and yet not feel any sense of strain, because you are simply lined up with your natural expression, you thus have the energy of your life-stream behind you. There is a huge leverage that you gain when you are moving in alignment with your natural expression, for one, you don’t waste time contemplating how to “project” yourself and secondly you are very clear about what you want to do on a moment to moment basis, because you are no longer conflicted about what your natural inclination is.
The core personality of every mind is already “balanced”, because it’s like a harmonious mix of all the dimensions of the mind. It’s only when we become unconsciously lopsided towards certain dimensions, thus taking on altered personalities, that we end up in an imbalanced state of being. The core personality of the mind is already “whole”, because by its very nature it’s permanent/stable and when you align with it, there is a sense of predictability (you stop feeling volatile) in your nature. The pointer to align with all the dimensions in your mind, is just a directive to guide you towards recognizing your core-personality – because if you are suppressing any dimension in your mind, you are basically hiding from your core personality.