An Example of Dissolving a Fear through Allowing
There was a recent query in the comment section from a reader dealing with a certain fear in the mind, wanting to understand how to release its hold. I thought it would be useful to use this example to elucidate the actual process that’s involved in dissolving a certain fear in a state of allowing. […]
Link back to full article: https://www.calmdownmind.com/an-example-of-dissolving-a-fear-through-allowing/
Hi sen and all.
Thank You so much for a beautiful site which is giving so selflessly.
I have read the above article with great interest and although I accept that there is a phase of allowing I’m not sure how it can be applied to my specfic fear.
I’m sure there are many people who have a similiar to mine. I’m embarrassed to say it but here goes. Despite not putting myself at risk even in the slightest ie not sharing drug equipment of having any sexual relationship I still end up conjuring scenarios that I might have contracted HIV.
This can be trying to work out where every little cut on my hands has come from. Was it a contaminated needle etc.
Although in the example above you have mentioned that you allow the real possibility of being gay or your fear and become fearless about it, when I think of doing this I get feelings of nausea, real fear through my body, diaorrea, headaches, low mood, depression and feeling sucidal. It is such a major fear that I’m not sure how I can get into that feeling of allowing and then see the truth.
My mind is conjuring up new scenarios all the time and when I get over one another one appears. It is exhausting.
Please plaese please help.
I have been medicated before but that does not help as these thoughts came despite the medication.
Many thanks in advance.
I would love to hear from anyone who has similiar fear and irrational thoughts and how to best overcome them.
Kind regards god bless
Jaz
Jaz, the act of “reasoning” cannot dissolve the past-momentum that the fear-energy has gathered. You mentioned that you have strong physical responses when the feeling of fear arises, which is simply an indication of a strong momentum that it has gathered over the past (possibly even past life-times). The deal is to go through the phase of release, with the mindset of gradual progress and patience, deepening in the state of allowing. You can read this post – The phase of release – to get an understanding of the dynamics involved in this journey.
Thank you Sen
You are so kind and giving in all of your responses and I am grateful that I came about your website.
I do see where you are coming from in respect of past momentum and release and I know that this is the element I find challenging. Certainly thinking alone cannot heal this momentum.
Do you recommend the Brainev CD’s in my particular scenario?
Many many thanks for taking the time to respond to me and you have my eternal gratitude.
Jaz
Hi Sen,
I am fairly certain I am going through the ‘phase of release’ but also feel that I am getting stuck on some things. I was wondering if you could help me out on on how to dissolve a certain fear of mine through allowing.
The fear I have relates to relationships with men. I have been single and in the dating game for a while now. I tend to get anxious when I start seeing someone new because I am afraid of rejection. It has been a while since things have progressed for very long with someone that I like. Recently I have met somebody (a friend of a friend) who I hit it off with straight away. I wasn’t initially attracted to him but he pursued me over a long weekend when I was visiting the city he lives in and won me over, something sexual happened between us (not full sex) and he won me over. As I mentioned, we live in different cities and after that encounter he was texting and calling me for a few days and asked me if I wanted to see him again, which I eventually agreed to, although after playing a little ‘hard to get’. He said that we would arrange something and then I didn’t hear from him again for another few weeks. After this time I found myself thinking about how annoyed I was that he hadn’t been in contact and how much I would like to see him. It was really strange but as I was thinking about him he sent me a text message! I felt that was some kind of sign, and he told me that he was coming to my city to visit and did I want to go for dinner? I said I would have to check if I was free and we arranged to meet up. He took me on a lovely date and we had a great evening. I felt so relaxed and comfortable and we had a great time. Now he ended up staying over at my house, and although I had said that he wasn’t allowed to try and have sex with me, we ended up kissing and touching all night. In the morning when we woke up we ended up having a little bit of sex but he had to get up and leave to catch a train really early so we didn’t get to finish. I now realise that it was kind of pointless saying that I wasn’t going to have sex with him, although it seemed like a good plan at the time! Anyway, that doesn’t bother me too much. He left and he called me that evening – we chatted a lot, and laughed, and things seemed good! Then a couple of days later I ended up sending him a text saying “I can’t wait to have sex with you properly ;)” when I was out and had been drinking, late at night. I didn’t get a response until much later the next day, when he just asked me if he had had a ‘heavy night’ last night? And made no reference to the text!! I had worked myself up all day thinking that I shouldn’t have sent the text, and that it was too forward, etc etc, so when I got that response, I felt like I had come out and said something really forward, and he hadn’t reciprocated. I waited a while to respond and just text him saying I had been out. He then replied and asked me if I had had a good night? We then had a back and forth conversation about what we had done with our weekends, etc. Still no mention of the text!!! So now I am left feeling that he found the text off-putting, OR that he hadn’t enjoyed our night together and doesn’t see it happening again! I can’t stop worrying about it, and although I am trying to allow the fear, I feel I am doing something wrong as nothing seems to be getting dissolved!! Any tips would be appreciated.
Many thanks Sen!
Sen,
Acc to my understanding , i assume that allowing is not only passive but also requires active involvement in finding the truth.