The ones among you who have been privy to spiritual teachings would be very familiar with terms like oneness, non-duality, emptiness and “nothingness”, used by some teachers to point to the sense that one has in the state of wholeness. These terms can be quite flabbergasting to someone who has no real perspective on what they imply and can also cause a lot of fear when one comes to an “extraordinary” imagination about all this. Of course the mind prefers positive terms like fullness, oneness, fulfillment, wholeness and balance, compared to seemingly negative terms like emptiness, nothingness – I personally don’t use terms like emptiness/nothingness because they tend to create far worse imaginations. However, there is a very good reason why a lot of teachers use the term “nothingness” to point to the state of balance, because in this state there is no “feeling” of opposition in you – the main term here is “feeling”, it’s not that your mind does not have preferences (likes/dislikes), it’s just that there is no force of opposition that you “feel” in you. This causes you to feel like nothing (unwavering peace) inside, though you have thoughts of like/dislike; you don’t become all-loving in terms of your thoughts, but there is no force of opposition in terms of your feeling – this is best description I can provide of what it means to live oneness/wholeness.
There is a huge difference between trying to be all-loving in your “thinking”, and “feeling” no force of opposition in your being – people who try to be all-loving (in their thinking) totally miss the point of the teaching, because they are basically trying to manipulate themselves based on their idea of what the teaching of “oneness” implies. Dark nature cannot be avoided, as it’s a part of your nature as life-energy, so you will always have the dimension of hatred operational in you, and it’s best that you stop fighting its presence. The dimension of hatred serves a very useful purpose in allowing you to have likes/dislikes, to have preferences, which are part of your individuality – so let go of trying to be “neutral”, it doesn’t work that way. It’s not about being neutral, it’s about being natural. It’s just that there is no need or necessity for you to “feel” a force of opposition within you, that makes your body feel this sense of suffering or agitation. It’s a huge freedom when you are free within, in terms of feeling resistance/opposition, and hence can operate naturally without emotional suffering. A simple example – in the state of wholeness you still have a preference that your nation’s soccer team wins the world cup, and in your mind there is a “thought” of disappointment if it loses, it’s just that there is no “feeling” of disappointment in your body – this is why this state is called “nothingness”, and this is how you live oneness in your being.
The science behind wholeness
A thought, initially, has “zero force” – it’s like an empty plastic bag with no weight. When you give a lot of focus to a thought, by identifying with it, or opposing it (fighting it), it gains force because you are imbuing it with “energy” created by your focus. The more focus you give it, the more energy it absorbs – its like the plastic bag is now being stuffed with goods and is becoming heavy, and is now felt like a burden to carry around. This is how the natural state of wholeness, which was present in your being to start with, is disturbed, by the “heavy thoughts” that you accumulate within you. Remember, that thoughts are not heavy to start with, and you can play around with any type of thought – joy, love, hate, fear, boredom, sexuality – all these different types of thoughts are privy to your being, and none of them are a problem, including the thought of “ego” (or the “I” sense). It’s only when you make a thought heavy by imbuing it with the energy of your focus, through over-identification or suppression, that it starts becoming a problem, because now it’s a burden in your being, it slows you down, it causes resistance, it becomes a “force” of its own.
A “heavy thought” is what “emotion” really is. Emotion is what you “feel” in the body. A thought, originally, has no emotion, it just has a “distinction” – just like a color does not have a smell, but you can distinguish colors, in the same way you can distinguish thoughts (as love-based, fear-based, hate-based etc) without needing to feel the emotion. It’s only when you fuel a thought with energy of your focus, that it starts getting stored up in your “being” and starts creating feelings in your being, which can be felt in a “body” in which your being resides during physical journey. Your being carries this burden of “emotion” (or heavy thoughts) until they can be cleared out consciously by letting go of them. The good news is that a thought cannot sustain its energy, unless it’s constantly fueled, and the natural state is for the thought to keep releasing it past acquired energy when it’s not getting any new fuel – this is the simple science behind why the state of “allowing” brings you to a state of wholeness, naturally. (You can read more about what I mean by the state of allowing in these posts – Reaching a state of total allowing and FAQ on the state of allowing).
As a being/soul, you have been carrying a lot of “heavy thoughts” (or emotional energy) through having lived several life-times in a state of unconscious identification. And, of course, when you are identified with your emotional energy, you are bound to keep attracting realities that are a match to this energy – because those are the realities you will unconsciously gravitate towards. For example, if you are carrying a lot of hate-energy (because you were unconsciously identified with hate-based thoughts, strongly, during your life-times), you inevitably incarnate into a reality that’s a match to your hate-energy in some way (an environment that matches your emotional energy). Seeing the hate outside you can make you realize the dysfunction of living this way, and hence can cause you to break out of the pattern of hate within you, or it can cause you to reinforce the pattern within you, both these probabilities do exist – it’s just that sooner or later, you are bound to get exhausted of the “burden” of this emotional energy, as it causes too much suffering in your being, and hence you inevitably choose to desire freedom from it, and that choice makes you open to a conscious release (which is what awakening is). So everything works out eventually.
In case you are wondering, what happens if one carries a lot “love-energy”, in terms of identifying purely with love-based thoughts, giving strong focus to it – well, such beings become highly “light-natured” (or rather imbalanced towards light nature) and thus become “weak” in terms of handling reality, they also become highly “unwise” to boot. In Hindu scriptures, there is a reference to “Devas”, or heavenly angels, who are highly light-natured, laced with liquid love, and one may think that they are in a “perfect place”. However, the same scriptures also talk about how these Devas are constantly attacked/disturbed by “Danavas” (imbalanced dark nature beings, demons) who take a perverse pleasure in scaring the hell out of these beings. The Devas, inevitably, run to the Gods for help because they don’t feel the power to defend themselves, since they are so imbalanced in light nature. The primary Gods, in Hindu scriptures, are basically Shiva and Krishna, and both of them are examples of beings balanced in light/dark nature – these Gods have a loving presence (light nature), but they are also warriors (dark nature), and they carry weapons (Shiva holds a trident, Krishna wields a spinning blade). The Devas come fleeing to these Gods for protection, which is always rendered – in that sense, the Devas are constantly in need of being “baby-sitted”. This is what happens to anyone who is imbalanced towards light-nature, they become “weak” and are not in a position to handle the reality of life – this becomes very evident when these beings/souls incarnate on planes like Earth (for the sake of growth), they just feel incapable of dealing with reality and usually get exploited, until they “grow” and balance out.
Wholeness is not dramatic
Most of our drama happens under the influence of emotions. As I mentioned above, emotions are nothing but “heavy thoughts” stored up in your being, and they have a “force” of their own. This force is what drives you to “react”, in dramatic ways, when you are under the influence of these emotions, when they are triggered in you. Without this force, that impels you to get agitated in some way, you would not be a dramatic person. You can spell out your disagreement, you can voice your opposition, and you can be critical, but without being gripped by the force of emotions, and the other person can feel your “freeness”, in that, your energy does not hit them; you are only putting forth your thoughts, you are not sending out any emotional energy. And, after the episode, of disagreement, you don’t sense yourself re-living it “emotionally” in you, because there is no energy that clings to the thoughts, you are just constantly in a state of unwavering inner peace, nothing disturbs your inner wholeness. It’s a totally non-dramatic way of living, nothing/no-one has the power to hold you hostage through triggering your emotional energy (because you don’t have any).
Being free of the emotional energy, does not make you “insensitive”. It’s important to understand that sensitivity is actually a “thought”, it’s not a feeling. I can think about helping people (have empathy), without having to feel suffering within me, this way I am not sending out any more energy of suffering into this world, I am just operating on my way of thinking. People who “feel” sensitivity, as a strong emotion of sadness, fear, grief or agitation, are the ones who are carrying a load of emotional heaviness and these people end up taking action more out of the need to find “relief” from these feelings than out of a place of wisdom, and hence their actions eventually just end up creating more suffering since they are coming from a place of suffering – nothing is really served, and it’s a painful life for the person.
You’ve accumulated a load of “thought energy” in your being, unconsciously, possibly over a few lifetimes, and now you just need to take the time out to consciously release it all. The reason why it’s important to be “conscious” is because the unconscious tendency is to either suppress the emotion (when it tries to release) or get identified with the emotion (and thus refuel it). In a state of total allowing, it takes the “minimal” time required to release the load that you are carrying, but your time depends on your load. This whole process of release is very scientific, and it’s very practical, there is nothing “dramatic” about it – it’s simply a release of your past emotional load. You will not “disappear” or vanish, you will not lose your sense of identity or memory, you will not become “nothing” – it’s best if you drop any spiritual imaginations you may have. Living oneness is very different from what your mind might be imagining, it has nothing to do with your “thoughts” becoming all-loving (or one-dimensional), it’s just that your being is free of the “feeling” of opposition/resistance/suffering – this allows you to be constantly in touch with wisdom, rather than move from a place of being driven by emotions.