Letting Go of the Need to Control

Posted on by Sen.

The force in you that wants “control” is the force that creates resistance to the movement of life. Imagine life to be a fast moving current of water, and you are on this current sitting on a raft. All your efforts at control will only cause resistance to your movement, but when you just let go, and relax, the current takes you swiftly across the scenery. You cannot enjoy the scenery as long as you are busy trying to control the raft. Sooner or later you will realize that all attempts at control are “futile”, that in truth it’s best to let go and enjoy the ride instead of wasting your effort trying to control the uncontrollable.

Your body is working on its own

A deeper intelligence runs your body. The blood circulation, the heart beat, the digestion, the excretion, the recycling of the cells, it’s all happening right at this moment, and there is no control. Even the breathing is happening automatically. Of course you can consciously try to control the breathing, but for how long and how efficiently? All illusions of control are just that – an illusion.

Coming to the truth is about realizing that there is no control, as far as the Ego is concerned. The Ego cannot determine how life will proceed. Of course the Ego can make predictions, and make attempts at controlling the movement of life, but eventually these are just “illusions”, and the truth is that the Ego can never dictate reality. Life has a movement, and it moves in “totality”, it cannot cater to the whims and fancies of an Ego. Life cannot move the way the Ego wants it to move.

The Ego lives in an illusion of control

The reason why the Ego is based in fear is because it’s living an illusion of control. It imagines that it has a say in how life will move and unfold. But anyone who is willing to see reality, with open eyes, will notice that life has never moved according to the “plans” of the Ego. Sometimes it might seem as if life is moving in accordance with what the Ego wants, but this is like 0.1% of the total movement and merely a coincidence. The Ego cannot dictate life because it’s not strong enough, or wise enough, to determine how life should move.

Look around and ask yourself, how much control do you really have on your life? If you have an illusion of control, it just means that you are putting in a lot of effort to maintain some part of your reality – and mostly it’s highly tiring and frustrating to do so. It’s like trying to control your breath, you can do it, but it’s highly tiring, frustrating and futile in the end. Do really enjoy this illusion of “control” or would you rather prefer to let go and enjoy the movement of life, the way it wants to move?

Life is always moving towards your well-being

You have not been created so you can come forth and suffer. The very intent behind your creation was so life can express itself through you. Suffering arises only when you resist the expression of life in someway. Every living being has a inherent movement that is determined by the totality of everything that is. Everything has an inherent value and purpose.

When you allow life to move through you, without any resistance, it always takes you towards your natural expression. Your life becomes rooted in ease, abundance and peace. It’s the end of all drama and tension, because all this is just the domain of the Ego. There is no drama when you just let life move freely through you. All your actions will be motivated from a place of “wisdom” rather than from a place of fear.

This is the message I have for the Ego – “Give life back to life. Stop holding onto what is not yours to start with. The only reason you find life unfair is because you don’t fit into life, you have no place in it. Let life be, let the body be, let the mind be, stop trying to control life”. The peace beyond understanding comes forth when the Ego completely surrenders to life, and is willing to dissolve. The adage – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” is simply the statement of a surrendered Ego. Thy will is the heart’s will or the life’s will, it’s inevitable, so why fight it?

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  1. Cihan

    Hi, Sen it has been one week, I feel better than before, I got the books from library and start to read, very interesting books, thank you for your help. I am reading those books but seems like my mind really like it, enjoy it, because it feels in the center of the attention, and I don’t want to give this pleasure to the my mind. How can I read the book without putting my mind in the center? If the books talks all about mind? I am still on watching the mind, and stay on stillness.

    Sen watching the mind, not to believe it? It means ignore? If mind creating fear with obsessive thoughts, and you just act like it is lying, how you do that? How you can convince yourself that mind is story telling? I need little bit clarification. There are two options: watch the mind or ignore it focusing something else in present moment. Which one is more useful? Thank you.

    1. cihan

      Sen, sorry my English is not great and I hope you really understand me, some words and paragrafh maybe could not make any sense for you because it is hard to explain with English for me, I do read and understand better than writing.

    2. Sen Post author

      Cihan – The mind is a part of the physically focussed consciousness and it has a very important role to play in life. There is no problem with the mind, the only problem is with “negative” or “limited” thinking. I also call negative thinking as “wrong vision”, because when you have the right vision you will not be rooted in negative thinking. You should stop getting “pulled in” to negative thoughts, that’s basic practice that leads to freedom. Be clear that you are not supposed to “deny” the mind when it’s thinking positive thoughts or when it’s enjoying an activity (like reading, or playing). The mind is supposed to be in joy, that’s part of the liberation process. As you stop giving energy to negative thoughts, your mind will become more and more aligned with “pure positive” vibration and thus become more joyful (and peaceful). Let the mind enjoy itself as much as it wants, allow it the full freedom to express its creativity and playful nature. Your only practice is to stop giving attention to “negative” thoughts, that’s all.

      Can you notice that “I don’t want to give pleasure to my mind” is also a “negative” thought? And you are giving so much energy to this negative thought. Let go of this thought, and relax. Let the mind enjoy itself. When it starts thinking negative, that’s the time to stay alert and not get pulled in. I hope you are clear about what I am trying to convey here.

      When negative thoughts arise, just stay as “open” consciousness (unfocussed, or relaxed awareness). Be like space, and just let the negative thoughts pass through the space of your mind. When you give “attention” to negative thoughts, they get more energy. When you stay as a “open” field of awareness, the thoughts will simply move through the space of your consciousness (like clouds passing through sky).

  2. cihan

    Thank you Sen.

  3. khan

    Thanks Sen, I’m so thankful to you,you have changed my life, and saved me from great suffering, which I can’t explain through few words, I was living always in multiple fears for more than three years.

    Suddenly I came across your article, how to overcome obsessive thoughts, it helped me to a large extent..I thank you always.

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