Deeply Grounded in Reality

Posted on by Sen.

For you to manifest your desired physical realities the most important requirement is that you be totally grounded in the reality of physicality (or the true nature of your physical world). The reason why most people have a hard time manifesting their desired reality is because they are holding on to some “fantasy” based ideas about it instead of being grounded in the reality of how physical life operates and thus there are several deep “resistance” patterns inside them that they are not even aware of (or in state of denial of). These resistances constantly impede the movement of your life stream towards manifesting the physical realities that you desire to experience. When you are grounded in the nature of physical-ness, you will be able to identify your resistances easily and thus be able to dissolve them through the light of your awareness.

One reason why it’s easier to stay rooted in “fantasy” based visualizations instead of being rooted in a “reality” based visualization is because several of your inner resistances or conflicts becomes “apparent” to you the moment you venture into the actual aspects of reality, and this can make you feel “uncomfortable” to say the least. But unless you allow your awareness to touch these conflicts, resistances, hang-ups or fears within you (that you have towards some aspects of physical reality), you cannot dissolve them and thus you would stand resisting the manifestation unconsciously.

Physical reality is not as temporal as a dream world

In your dreams, or while you are “day dreaming”, it’s possible to shift between realities simply by changing thoughts. You can dream up your desired realities in “short clips”, just focusing on the beautiful parts and skipping the “context” of reality in which they are supposed to take place. For example, you may just visualize an “image”, or a still picture, of some desired reality – like you walking on the beach holding the hands of your ideal partner, with a beautiful sunset on the background. This a beautiful picture for sure, and it makes you feel good, and there is nothing wrong with staying focused on a “feel good” visualization, but if you don’t bring yourself to also be aware of the “reality” of physical life, in the context of your desired reality, you would just be rooted in a “fantasy” because you are not in “sync” with how physical life operates, thus not allowing for the “maturity” that’s required, in you, for the physical reality to manifest.

I will use the example I gave above, about the visualization most people do to manifest a beautiful relationship, to explain what it really means to ground yourself in reality of life and thus place your visualization in the “real” context of physical life. Below I’ve outlined two cases for visualizing the desired reality of a beautiful relationship – 1. Fantasy based visualization 2. Reality based visualization

Fantasy based visualization

This is when your visualization is out of context with the reality of life, and thus it does not allow you to sense the patterns of resistance/immaturity/hang-ups/conflicts present within you. Here’s how I would think if I were having a “fantasy” based visualization about a beautiful relationship.

– Everything is always beauty in its perfection when we are spending time together, perfect sunsets, perfect beaches, perfect conversations, perfect food, perfect service, perfect weather, perfect scenery, perfect friends etc We are always on vacation spots.

– She does not have preferences of her own, and is totally devoted to making me feel happy all the time

– She does not have any selfishness in her, is only focused on what I want

– Sex with her is always perfect, with no clumsiness in either of us, just like in some movies

– She’s looking pretty all the time, with flowing hair, glowing skin and cheerful eyes

– We always have something to talk about or something fun to do

– She is always around when I need her, but she gives me total space when I want to be on my own. She’s always understanding of my requirement for space.

– She listens to the music I like to listen, she watches movies I like to watch, she eats food I like to eat and we seem to have no conflict of opinions

– She’s always in a good mood and always feeling great, and always in good health.

– I have the freedom to do what I want, at any moment, with her adjusting to all my requirements

Of course, one look at the above list and you know it’s completely not “reality” based. But most of us seem to visualize our desired realities in this manner, unknowingly or because we prefer to stay in denial of facing up to some inner conflicts/immaturities. This is the reason why we seem to associate some form of “extra ordinary” happiness with our desired realities, and create the illusion that once it manifests we would somehow enter into experiences of constant joy. This is also the reason why some of our desired realities look so “big” to us, they seem “larger than life”.

Reality based visualization

Any visualization that’s based in reality, always accounts for the “ordinariness” inherent to life. Moments of euphoria don’t define happiness – they are experiences of fleeing “thrills” or kicks that come up now and then (especially when you are rooted in some fantasy based thinking). True happiness is a constant sense of wholeness that you feel when you are no longer “totally” identified with the movements of the mind. It’s the happiness inherent to your being, which is very “ordinary” in its calmness and stability. – like being the depth of the ocean allowing the waves to ripple on the surface.

When you become aware of the ordinariness of life, you no longer have “fantasy” based ideas about any of your desired realities. You put them in the right context of ordinariness instead of associating some extra-ordinary state of being with it. This is how I would have a reality based visualization about a beautiful relationship.

– She is happy with the type of life I live, but also wants to bring some changes that help her fit in

– She’s not always trying to please me and pander to all my whims and fancies, but she lets me know that she likes being with me through the small gestures of love/care that come through genuinely

– Her well-being is one of my priorities, with the required maturity to try to understand her interests and inclinations

– We may not always have great conversations, sometimes there is hardly anything to talk. We may not always have fun things to do, and might just be spending a slow day together.

– There are times when I can’t relate to her way of thinking, and vice versa

– She may have several relatives in her family whom I may not be compatible with, including her parents and she may feel the same about mine

– We would be discussing some very practical aspects of living like finances, bills and chores, and our conversations will not always be tinged with romance

– She may not be in a mood for sex when I want it, and vice versa, and it won’t always be picture perfect

– She’s not always in her best looks (in fact hardly after we start living together), and her looks are not solely what I would be in the relationship for. What would be more important is the comfort we share with each other and the connection we feel in each others company

– I would have her problems/challenges added to my life as she’s a part of my life

– There would be several financial responsibilities that I would have “added” to my life, especially if we are married or doing a live-in

– Living together will soon reveal all her eccentricities, quirks and some annoying habits to me, as would be mine to her

– I would need to be attending some of her family functions, sometimes out of the responsibility of the relationship

– She will continue to grow as an individual human being which would reflect in her priorities and interests, and there’s a possibility of her wanting to move out of the relationship to pursue them. I might have such a inclination too, as a possibility.

– She will not always be around, at some point I would lose her either through her demise or mine.

As you can see, a reality oriented visualization is not always “rosy” but is grounded in the reality of life. The more you see, understand and experience that ground reality of this physical existence on earth, the more clearer would be the “context” in which you place your desired realities. For example, if you desire financial abundance, don’t just stay with “fantasy” dream about it (thinking only about the shopping, traveling and eating you will do), but allow yourself to really have a reality based visualization of what it would be like to have a lot of money – remember that if it feels “extra ordinary” it’s not rooted in reality.

Maturity is about being aligned with the reality of life

A few simple ground realities of our physical life are as below

– In reality experiences have far more dimensions to them than just the one-track experience you have in mind when you think of a desired reality

– All experiences are very temporary and hardly as “extra ordinary” as we imagine they would be

– Nothing on the outside (in the physical reality) has the capacity to give you a permanent sense of security or peace

– Physicality will always have cycles of lows and highs, your body cannot feel high all the time no matter what you do. But the peace of your being is always permanent irrespective of the fluctuations of your physical body.

– There will always be some contrast in your physical reality that will cause a desire in you for betterment, there is no such thing as “perfect reality” in the world of physical

– All minds (in all living beings), in their “natural” movement, are inherently selfish because they are “survival machines” that look out for their protection, and thus indirectly the protection of the ones they are “attached” to. We also perform some selfless actions at-times due to a deeper wisdom present in our “awareness” through our connection with the wholeness of life. (Since life is the only being present here, it’s inherently “full of self” or selfish by its very nature, it’s focused on itself because it’s all there is, and hence all its living manifestations have this quality too).

If there is a desire within you to move towards a certain reality, this desire is taken up in the wholeness of who you are and the movement of your life stream is towards this manifestation. But a part of the process of manifestation is about allowing an “inner maturity” to come through so that you are aligned with the “actual” reality that would unfold in sync with the context of physical reality of life on this planet.


  1. Alliswell

    How do you think physical chemistry plays a part? It seems so essential in a relationship to me.

    I feel so intolerant of others at times and I know I am afraid of being controlled in a relationship. How do I let that go? I wouldn’t want another to judge me, yet I judge whether someone would tolerate me or me tolerate them for the long run.

    I have tended to lose myself in relationships and focus on making another happy at my expense.

    1. Sen Post author

      When one is rooted in wholeness, rather than being totally identified with the mind, their reality moves in the direction of harmony in a natural way. When one is not rooted in their wholeness, and identified with the lack/fear oriented vibration of negativity, no amount of “techniques” can yield harmonious results. It’s not possible to manipulate a sense of wholeness, it’s something you arrive at naturally in the course of letting go of identification with the momentum of negativity within. In this state of wholeness, the relationships you attract are congruent with your natural make-up and you also have the wisdom to line up with the required maturity to ensure a harmonious relationship. So instead of being focused on how to attract a good relationship, it’s more effective to focus on finding a stability in your own inner wholeness, in your being – in this place the external is automatically taken care of without requiring any manipulation or techniques on your part.

      Aspects of intolerance, over-possessiveness, fear of responsibility, neediness and “negative selfishness” (where there is a tendency to victimize others for our happiness) are all the outcomes of identification with the negative ego, which is fueled by the negative momentum present through unconscious identification. These negatives become very apparent when one gets into an intimate/close relationship because such a relationship becomes a stark mirror reflecting our in-congruencies back at us. The usual tendency is to try to put the blame on the partner and move out of the relationship with the hope the another relationship would be better, but unless there is a change in your vibration, through an inner maturity, you end up attracting the same dysfunctional realities in new faces. When there is an inner stability, you will no longer be fearful of intimacy because you are totally comfortable and aligned with who you are, and the relationship becomes a means of experiencing a new reality, nothing more nothing less, you are not seeking “wholeness” through your partner, rather you are simply enjoying the experience that the relationship affords – and because you are no longer identifying with fear-based manipulations of the mind, there is a free energy about you that allows your partner the space to be himself/herself. When you are totally comfortable with yourself, people are always comfortable with you.

      By “physical chemistry” if you mean physical attraction between two people, it’s of course an essential part of the attraction that “instigates” the movement into a relationship in many cases. Without any physical attraction it’s not possible to be in an intimate relationship for long. This physical attraction, however, is not purely dictated by the external looks alone, your physical attractiveness is influenced hugely by your inner state of being. It’s never possible to sustain a relationship purely based on external looks, because we are not just “bodies”, there is a “person” in the body and unless you are attracted to the “person” within the body, you would soon lose attraction for the body. Looks are aesthetics which can be appreciated, enjoyed and adored, but the person within is the one with whom you are going to make a connection in a close relationship. Find wholeness within you and you will be comfortable with who you are this physical form, and in this comfort you exude an aura of attractiveness because there is no “repulsive” negative energy vibrating strongly in your being.

  2. Alliswell

    Thank you.
    I definitely have some growing to do.
    I know what is lacking, but have a hard time letting go so I can move forward.
    It feels forced to me because I know I need to do it.

    Thanks to you, I am on my way, Sen.
    Your insight is so helpful.

  3. Alliswell

    The confusion I have is how to know when I am running from something good out of fear? or when it is truly not good and I need to leave to follow a positive lifestream?

    I truly can not tell at times. When to stay or go?
    The list of relationship realities you show, gives examples of seeing things realistically vs. fantasy. The realistic list shows things I may think are wrong with a relationship and leave.

    1. Sen Post author

      There are various options with respect to the lifestyles/realities you can experience in this physical realm, but before you can really start enjoying the exploration of physical realities it’s important to at-least come to some inner stability, and be free of intense negative momentum within. In the presence of a high negative momentum within, it’s next to impossible to really enjoy the experience of a physical reality because your experience will always be tainted in some way by the reflection of the negativity within. The exploration of physical realities is an amazing journey when it’s undertaken from the place of inner stability. In the sense, you should authentically be feeling “whole” within yourself, at-least to a good extent, and should have stability in this wholeness so that you are not “over-whelmed” by the highs and lows of physical realm which you are bound to experience no matter what physical reality you choose. Let’s be clear the physical realm has its challenges, there is no such things as a “perfect” physical reality, and there is no such thing as a “permanent” physical reality – everything physical is bound to dissolve at some point, including your body, and it’s a fleeting experience. The “being” (the conscious energy) that we are is a happy being but a very highly sensitive being, when this being is totally lost in identification with the physical realm, it’s bound to be quite terrified of physicality at some point especially when it encounters some “realities” like a loss. To have a enjoyable experience of physicality is not possible with such over-sensitivity, because over-sensitivity will create deep suffering in this physical realm. When you awaken to your wholeness, you stop being totally identified with the body/mind, and the mind, as a machine, is well designed to take care of physicality in conjunction with the wisdom of your wholeness. When you stop being totally identified with the body, you stop being so “over-sensitive” towards the physical realm and this affords a smoother unfolding of realities for you, and a much more pleasant experience of this whole journey. This is the reality of physicality, there is no getting around it because it’s the way it is, and it is this way for reason – the mortality of physicality is what affords the enjoyment of this journey from an absolute perspective.

      When you’ve made peace with the reality of physicality, and you’ve found your position in your wholeness and are no longer totally identified with the physical (in other words, when there is a balance in you between your non-physical nature and your physical focus) you are in the right state of being to explore physicality in an enjoyable way. The reason you have these questions about negative outcomes in a relationship is because you are afraid of the “hurt” that you know you will feel when something like close relationship dissolves – in other words, you are not stable in yourself, you are highly insecure because of your over-sensitivity, and you are living in a fear and hoping that somehow a perfect relationship would emerge that does not follow the reality of physicality and thus keep you out of this experience of loss. It’s very possible to be in a harmonious relationship that’s life long, but it’s not quite possible to attract such a relationship from a place of “insecurity”. The starting place for you would be to come to a stability within you where you are free, to a good extent, from the fear of loss – because as long as you are influenced by this fear you will constantly be afraid of relationships because inherently you know that everything in the physical realm is prone to dissolution at some point in time (everything eventually does die). Once you are free of being a prisoner to this fear, you will no longer be approaching a relationship with these questions in your mind rather you will approach a relationship as a means to enjoy a journey of exploration.

  4. aaron

    I have some queries about some of your brilliant writings.

    From your perspective as i understand it we’re all part of one consciousness and have the potential to manifest the desires we want. Why then is the obstacle of the mind/body dichotomy in place?

    As youve explained the mind is a survival mechanism, and when left unassisted it will guide you through life. But are negative th0ughts not a product of the mind. When i observe some of my thoughts, they’re not always particularly helpful, and not geared to my survival. In this instance the mind is not operating in a way is benign, and not in my interest. When you say the mind can be left unassisted, are these thoughts not a hinderance to this process? Is it just a case of stripping away the negativity in order to access the mind which just takes care of life?

    In my life ive been for perhaps the past couple of months practising detached awareness. Certainly i do feel better compared to before. One issue is that i cant always apply this approach. For example im often running on auto pilot, say at work when i have to concentrate on the tasks at hand. I cant really monitor my thoughts so much in these times. In this case is it good practice to apply detached awareness at certain points of the day when i can devote more attention to my thoughts?

    I appreciate your insight.

    1. Sen Post author

      The body/mind is not an obstacle but a “vehicle” that allows for the experience of physicality. Physical realm is affords a unique dimension of experiences and the body is designed to operate in this realm (expressing/experiencing life uniquely) with its senses, mechanical intelligence and natural conditioning. The desires of the brain/heart are taken up in the wholeness of the life energy that created this body and there is movement towards its manifestation in the cumulative context of the “reality” of physical life (for example the reality of life in planet earth) that you are part of. Your body is moved by the momentum of the force created by this life energy in response to its desires. This whole process is seamless until you, as the awareness focused in this body, stand in resistance to it out of your unconscious enforcement of the negativity through your attention. The brain does produce negative thoughts, especially thoughts of fear, and it focuses on problems – but all these is the natural programming of the brain, the natural design of the brain is to take care of its survival and to ensure a thriving reality for itself, for this it needs to be constantly on the look out for problems that need to be solved for better realities to manifest.

      The problem is not with the negative thoughts naturally created by the brain, the problem is with your “identification” with these thoughts, out of your sensitivity – this identification causes you to fuel these thoughts with your attention and this causes a strong momentum of negativity to get generated in your being. The brain on its on its own cannot sustain thoughts for long, it’s only your attention that keep gives fuel to thoughts to stay in the space of your consciousness. Moreover, when you stay as an open channel, the problems/fears generated by the brain are addressed by the wisdom of the wholeness of life to which your physical body is connected (this wholeness of life is your true body). Your interference, through your chronic focus on the negative thoughts, causes resistance to the solutions manifesting. The brain has the right to focus on problems, and it will also generate fearful thoughts owing to its design as a survival machine, but when you are not “identified” with it the negativity does not get reinforced and it’s dissolved in the wisdom of the wholeness of your being, solutions are manifested from the problems generated by the brain and these solutions create your life’s pull towards new realities. All this is just a play of existence.

      The practice of detached awareness is helpful in gaining a stability in your “awareness power” as you start gaining ground outside the realm of your mind. 30 minutes of this practice during the initial months, as you move into the process of awakening out of mind identification, is more than enough to bring in a steady stability. You don’t have to try to practice detached awareness through your working day, rather just focus on being “relaxed” in your being as much as possible so that you don’t hinder in the natural movement of life’s intelligence through your body. At some point you can just let go of practicing detached awareness as you find stability in yourself, in your natural state of wholeness. More insight on your specific question is addressed in my lastest post – the body is designed for physicality.

  5. Sanjay

    Dear Sen

    I want to know that I understand this correctly. In some of your previous posts you mentioned that we should not think or worry about how our desires will be manifested and that if the visualising of our desired outcome happens naturally we should then focus on that visualization or else just stay as a space of “relaxed awareness”, which would automatically dis-identify us from the negative thoughts that resist the natural flow of our life stream which is always naturally moving in the direction of manifesting our desired realities. In this post you mention that our visualtization should be “reality” based so that we are in “sync” with how physical life operates within the context of our individual reality. As you have previously pointed out, focusing on the problem instead of the solution throws up resistances to the flow of our life stream. In some cases if our mind focusses on the reality of a situation it will throw up thoughts of fear or irrational expectations (the feelings of the desire being “big” or”larger than life” as you have pointed out or being unrealistic given the present physical reality), which defeats the manifestation of the desire itself. I would like to come up with a couple of scenarios which I request you to

    1. If say I am interested in a relationship with a girl but she is interested in someone else, then in this scenario I should not worry/focus about how I will get this girl into my life. Instead I should just focus on getting into a relationship with her while at the same time knowing that no external objects/person/expereince can ever give me true fulfillment and that who I truly am as a being of pure positive energy does not need anything to make it
    complete or fulfilled. Is my understanding right?

    2. Many people do fantasize about movie stars for example. Is this a waste of time since their reality cannot bring their desired relationship to manifestation (atleast not in this lifetime) or do the same principles I mentioned earlier based on my understanding hold true in this case as well.


    1. Sen Post author

      As the power of awareness keeps deepening in you, you will naturally touch upon the “immature” aspects of thoughts in your being. This post was basically a pointer to bring your awareness towards identifying some immature thinking patterns that may be present in your being and thus allow a dissolution of it by seeing through its inherent in-congruence/conflict. When your brain comes up with a certain desire, it’s just a “raw material” that is fed into your life stream where it mixes with the other desired elements already present in it, along with that present in the “human consciousness” as a whole, and ultimately present in the universal consciousness (as a hierarchy) – because your desire cannot be an “independent” manifestation, it has to manifest in sync with the totality of the world, so it would have to be brought in sync with the reality of the physical realm at the present moment. The brain cannot know what shape your desire would really take eventually and what events would manifest it. Moreover the desire of the brain is always “vague” because it does not have the capacity to bring its desire in total sync with wholeness of reality, because it does not ever have the ” big picture”. This is the reason I give the pointer that you don’t have to force focus on your desires, as a visualization exercise in the mind, because your desire is in the form of a “vague” image or picture, and all the specifics you add to it are also ultimately based on the “narrow picture”, or ambiguous picture, you have of reality. The desire of the brain is just a “raw material” taken into your life stream, and it will be brought to a cumulative manifestation in sync with the whole context of reality – it’s next to impossible to really be certain of the shape your desire would ultimately take when it manifests. Rest assured, that if you are allowing of your life stream, staying in a relaxed space, the manifestation would take place in a smooth manner in sync with the best possible outcome within the context of the reality/situation of life in your physical realm in the present.

      When I say our visualization should be reality based, it’s a simple pointer to see if the mind is holding onto some patterns of thought that have no grounding in the reality. You don’t have to practice any visualization exercise, rather you just need to allow yourself to be aligned with the reality of life which happens automatically when you are not in “denial” of its reality, when you allow the wisdom of your wholeness to touch your mind (by staying as an open channel of relaxed awareness), there is automatically a process of “inner maturity” that starts taking place where the mind is brought in sync with reality. It’s possible for the mind to hold onto to some “fantasy” based thoughts and resist the movement towards being grounded in reality, this post is just about giving a pointer to observe such an in-congruent stand in the mind.

      With reference to point 1, let’s say your mind is interested in a particular girl, and it desires a relationship with her. This desire is a “raw material” and the specifics don’t matter to life – life is not going to force this girl into a relationship with you if that’s not the best outcome from a bigger picture. The essence of the desire is that you want to be in relationship with a girl who matches your mind/heart’s requirements, and this essence is what is taken up. This desire can manifest by you meeting some other girl who you would find to be a better match that the present girl that your mind “assumes” is the right one. So you don’t need to force focus on this girl alone, as there’s a vibration of “neediness” that becomes apparent in such a focus. The true sense of wholeness comes from your being itself (and you will know it as your permanent nature), you cannot sustain this feeling of wholeness if you derive it from an outside object/person because an outside experience is always fleeting. The mind can try to “pretend” that it’s feeling whole when in truth it might be doing so as a “technique” to get its desire manifested, such a pretense is usually called on by the movement of your life. When you focus on this girl and believe that she is the right one for you because you think that she would make you feel fulfilled through her presence in your life, or place her on “pedestal” where you think she’s the best thing that could ever happen to you – these are thoughts based in “fantasy” because you are projecting a larger than life image onto a girl who is just a human being like you. There are lot of men who do this, where they hold some totally groundless projections about a girl (especially under the influence of a lot fantasy realities spun by movies) and they take some highly dysfunctional actions when they lose the girl. An immature mind has this quality of creating “fantastic” ideas about reality which have no real grounding with how ordinary physical life really is.

      With reference to point 2, this kinda fantastic thinking is exactly what I am referring to in this post. Sometimes people are just not grounded in the reality of their life, and from such a groundless place the desires you projects are obviously “fantasy” based and they are received in your life stream as a raw material which are brought in sync with the actuality of life. When one stays rooted to fantasy based visualization, it can create a temporary good feeling, but the movement of life stream would dictate that the mind becomes more mature so that it comes in sync with the actuality and thus allows the manifestation of the desired reality which is in sync with their well-being. Life has the bigger picture, it knows the best outcomes for you in the context of your natural make-up as this physical form. The mind can be deluded into holding onto fantasy thoughts owing to the influence of movies, media, baseless external conditioning and also immature thinking.

  6. Sanjay

    Thank You Sen!

  7. soul

    This is a lovely artice..thank you so much..
    Everyday i wake up with this resolution that i will not complain about anything but as the day progresses i find myself complaining about things i feel are very necessary to complain about otherwise they wont get done..and they really dont get done if i dont complain to the respective person..
    i want to stop this habit but im scared il be taken for granted as i have seen this before too..if i say something once nothing gets done..if i say something ten times and cry the eleventh time then it gets done..this really drains my energy..
    Just as an example i would like to quote,I gave someone 7000 rs 3 yrs back and i’ve been reminding him to give me back the money but till date he hasn’t..i just cant tell you how much energy of mine has been drained in this issue..
    Now i’ve decided to let go of that money but the bitterness still remains..
    please help to tackle such procrastinators!

    1. Sen Post author

      Complaining and force, are totally unnecessary when you realize the abundance, and well-being, inherent in your life stream. You only feel cheated when you perceive yourself to be cheated. A thought that “I’ve been cheated” can keep you in suffering/resistance and thus delay the inflow of solutions, and abundance, from your life stream. You can attract several times more than the money you lost, if you stop being angry, and hateful, about it and align with “peace” in this moment. Wisdom, solutions and right actions arise from a place of peace, not from a place of fear, hate or anger. Choose to stay relaxed instead of trying to force the outside to get your things done. When you are in a relaxed state of being your “life force” will do the work for you and orchestrate events that allow abundance and well-being to flow in. When you are aligned with this state of being, your friend may return the money without you forcing him for it or he may not – but you would be attracting abundance in many other ways through may other streams, so you don’t have to worry about money anyway. I understand that this state of being can be very challenging to the mind which is oriented towards thinking in terms of “force” and struggle, but when you realize the abundance inherent to your life stream you will no longer fret about your “perceived” losses and in this vibration of peace, you will be more aligned with attracting an abundant reality without needing to force anyone on the outside.

  8. j

    hi sen,

    just wanted to say that i think it would be nice if this post was also under category of ‘ relationship ‘. reading this article gave me great insights about how a balanced relationship would look like


  9. Em

    I have a question about friendship. I have the tendency to give my best (effortlessly, of course) to intimate friendships. I accept my friends’ quirks and awkward traits and I know I can show them my weirdness as well. I am a greater listener and sometimes feel I allow listening so much that they become used it but don’t listen to me as well as I to them (ie interruptions, dismissing). I am really friendly and happy and my best friend is my partner whom I can discuss this with. I just wanted your perspective because I have no problem cutting off friendships at the drop of a hat. I wouldn’t be sad if any of my friends moved far away and we didn’t talk anymore. I think I attract friends who I am very different from. I love my huge family and partner, maybe intimate friendships are not part of my natural expression?

    Thanks so much Sen!

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