It takes a lot of energy, from the mind, to sustain an unnatural behavior. Whenever you take on a behavior, attitude, lifestyle or way of being, that is not natural to the make-up of your mind, a tremendous amount of effort is put forth (by your whole body) to sustain the energy required to maintain this unnatural state. A lot of people feel mentally drained and emotionally fatigued towards the end of a work day because through out the working hours they were either occupied in taking action that did not feel natural to them (against their natural aptitude) or because they were projecting a behavior, which was unnatural to them, in order to fit in with the group. This whole exercise in “unnaturalness” causes the brain/mind to get badly fatigued because of amount energy that is expended in fostering these unnatural states – in maintaining these states the mind actually has to go against its natural movement.
Why do we become unnatural to our individuality?
There are a lot of reasons why people disconnect from their individuality, most of it has to do with the type of upbringing they were subjected to. If a child (or a developing youngster) is constantly judged, compared, and taught to compete, he/she is very likely to disconnect from his/her natural way of being in order to stand up to the expectations and projections of their outside world (as children often do as a survival strategy). This pattern of thought is carried well into adult life, where the person starts projecting unnatural behaviors, such as taking up a career disconnected with their natural aptitude, in order to meet the external expectations. Such people feel conflicted within them all the time and feel like a prisoner of life, bondaged against their will.
The only reason one continues to go through an unnatural way of being is because the pain/fear of leaving this “familiar” habit is really strong inside them. The mind has grown up with this familiar strategy of living in struggle within and it finds it very risky to change this mode of being and align with the ease of natural movement. Moreover it’s afraid of being judged by others, or being labeled a “drop out” or becoming a “failure” in life or a “loser”, if it decides to be let go of the realities sustained through this unnatural effort. The truth is that, only when your commitment towards joy-orientation or freedom becomes stronger than your fear of leaving the familiar, can you become ready to align with the ease of your natural movement.
Identifying unnaturalness in yourself
If you want to identify the patterns of unnatural movement in your mind, just bring awareness to your daily living and see if your can catch yourself trying to put on an artificial “behavior” or forcing yourself to do something that goes against your aptitude and inclination. It’s easy to catch yourself being unnatural in your movement, because whenever you do it there will be a sense of “contraction” in your whole being.
You can also identify the thought patterns that fuel the continuation of this unnatural way of being. Thoughts that are rooted in comparison, thoughts rooted in meeting expectations or pleasing others, thoughts rooted in trying to prove yourself to others, thoughts of inferiority/unworthiness about yourself, thoughts of fear about being independent, thoughts of distrust in life are all at the root of fueling a life of struggle and unnaturalness.
True excellence can only come from self-alignment
A lot of people fear that if they align with their natural state of being they would just become “drop outs” with no motivation to compete and achieve, and thus become purposeless without any possibility of success. But these are all random fears in the mind with no base in reality. The truth is that true success and excellence is only possible when you become aligned with your true potential and true behavior – when you are working against your natural movement anything you achieve will only amplify a sense of incompleteness/hatred/fear because the fuel for the actions, in this state, comes from a vibration of fear.
Albert Einstein was a school drop-out because the teachers did not appreciate his way of thinking/being since he was not able to fit into the rigid protocols of their way of teaching. In fact he was labeled to be an “idiot” by some of his teachers because they thought he was too slow and convoluted in this thinking. Luckily for young Albert, his mom understood the make-up of his mind, she took him out of school and tutored him privately. He grew up to be one of the most ground-breaking physicists who not only co-related, for the first time, the connection between “solid reality” and “formless energy” but also created several pointers to guide humans towards recognizing the unlimited creative potential in their mind. He was able to express his genius because he stood true to the natural make-up of his mind instead of forcing it to “fit in” to some rigid protocols of the society.
(One my favorite quotes comes from Albert Einstein, he said – “Everybody is a Genius, But if you judge a Fish by its ability to climb a Tree, it will live its whole life believing that it’s stupid”).
Anything new and original can only flow through a mind that is “free” in its movement and is not forced to do what it has no inclination or aptitude for doing. You can come up with a hundred excuses to defend your reasons for doing what you don’t like to do but in the end it’s the question of how willing you are to trust your life’s calling, how willing are you to align with your joy rather than stay a prisoner to fear.
I’m really happy that I can read your great website. It’s important to be aware of our daily living. You are right that there is no connection between happiness and doing something what seems to us unatural, demanding effort, but it’s important not to be cheated by it. For instance, at a glance we can feel that what we are doing doesn’t bring us happiness and we stop like it at all, because we feel like prisoners. It doesn’t have to be true, so you should look deeper in yourself and your surrounding. Maybe the root of this suffering isn’t exactly in this in what seems to be. For example, when I was in junior high school I loved math. It was my best subject. When I went to next school, I was older and still I loved it. After some time I really hated it and I wasn’t even able to focus during the class. Thank’s to bringing awareness to this thought pattern I realized that the root of this discouragement was in others thoughts like: I have no time for everything what I want to(so I did math’s homework without peace and happiness) what’s more during the classes I understood that I compare myself to other people in the class. Also I was so much overwhelmed that I even didn’t see the reason why I had to do it . Finally , I solved the roots of the problem. Real part of myself saw that I truly love this subject.
My conclusion is to look deeper in yourself and not to be misguided by the things which you don’t like (they are not always the root of the problem)
That’s a good example how taking awareness deep into the thoughts of the mind can allow insights to come through that create an understanding of how to align with ourselves, whenever we feel disconnected.
I have been a regular reader of your blogs for the past 2-3 weeks and i must admit, they have helped me immensely. The problem with me is that my life takes zigzag turns a lot. I wanted to study in a particular college or wanted to be in a certain kind of job or a specific kind of relationship. I used to get all of these things but in a very different way than i had imagined earlier. This used to cause frustration and resistance within me.
Now, i realise, perhaps the best way is to go with the positive flow of life. If i look back at those things, i realise that though they were different, but they were quite good, sometimes better than i had planned. But i was so busy resisting and having lack based approach that i fail to appreciate those new turns and experiences.