Your attitude towards life decides your experience of it. The attitude of looking to “learn” is the most powerful attitude to carry since it allows for an inherently positive experience of life. For example, when you are in a seemingly negative life situation, if your attitude is to just complain, and feel frustrated, you will never allow yourself to really get a sense of the learning that this situation is trying to provide you – and when you don’t “learn”, what needs to be learnt, you just keep repeating the same life situation again and again until you finally learn, after which a new reality can come through. If you see yourself repeating the past negatives constantly (like living the same negative experiences in new faces) it just means you are not “learning” and hence there is no positive growth in your reality.
The simple way life works is that when you’ve really learnt everything that you need to learn from a present reality, you become ready to move to a new/expanded reality. Until then you mostly just keep repeating the same patterns, and life feels as if its gotten stuck on a tune. The immediate reaction people have when they are in a negative situation is to complain, fret and be frustrated, rather than having the attitude of allowing what arises and bringing awareness to their inner space to get a sense of the negative patterns within them that this reality is reflecting – such an attitude is a complete shift in paradigm from the old attitude of fretting about a negative reality.
When you just sit complaining about a negative reality you are inherently focused on the negativity and hence keep perpetuating it – this allows no room for growth or improvement to come in, or allows it very slowly. Instead, if you simply look to learn from every situation, to look within and identify the negative patterns that your present situation is helping reflect (which is what awareness is), you keep letting go of inner resistances steadily, and thus moving out of contrasting/negative realities more swiftly.
Be the change you want
Reality always manifests from inside to outside – the inside is what creates the outside, or rather it’s our inner vibration that attracts our external reality. So if you want a change in your reality, guess what needs to change first? – your inner space. By this “inner change” I don’t mean you need to change who you naturally are, rather you need to change your maturity level, expand your outlook, let go of inner resistances and deepen your understanding. Your natural makeup is your uniqueness, and it’s something you need to align with, but your maturity level and your learning can keep deepening eternally – in your physical life, you will never reach a point where you have nothing to learn, if you think you’ve reached such a point, you are basically living in denial.
When you know that physical life is an eternal movement of learning, why would you feel that you are stuck in a negative reality, instead of seeing it as a platform for learning and growing as a person? Instead of the attitude of “why is life doing this to me” develop the attitude of “what is the learning this situation is giving me” – in this way you won’t be wallowing in self-pity and would thus not keep perpetuating a negative life situation for long, you will learn, grow and move on to an improved reality. Worrying, blaming, complaining and fretting serves absolutely no useful purpose, instead it does the opposite by creating more resistance – it’s just a waste of energy when you indulge in any of these behaviors. If you want change, look within and change the aspects in you that have attracted your current reality – it’s always about bringing awareness to an inner negativity and thus letting go of it.
Use your awareness for faster learning
A lot of people ask about how to let go of negativity after bringing awareness to it – if you notice, this is an inherently illogical question, it’s like asking how to stop eating bad food when you’ve become aware that it’s bad – well, you just stop feeding it to yourself, it’s not a technique it’s just the normal thing to do. When you become aware of something negative you automatically stop fueling it. Of course, it takes time before the negativity can die away, because it has a lot of past momentum, so you have to allow time for it to dissolve – instead of constantly worrying about when it will dissolve. The fact that you’ve become aware of a negativity is enough for it to dissolve, so your job is to just “learn” by bringing awareness to your resistances, and the growth will happen on its own. Negativity, that you have been carrying for years, needs time to dissolve even after you let go of it – it’s pure physics that a object which is already in motion requires time to stop even if you are not fueling it, it will move on its past momentum for a while.
The power of your awareness keeps growing when your attitude is to look within to detect the patterns of resistance/fears and negativity in your inner space. You can’t achieve a strong awareness overnight, it takes time. It’s like when you wake up from sleep in the morning, it takes time to feel fully awake – so again you need to allow for this time instead of constantly fretting about it. Of course, the fretting happens when one is highly irritated with the present reality and wants out, but this fretting inherently is delaying the change. If fretting is happening from the past momentum of the mind, just let it be, don’t try to suppress it and don’t give belief to it either, just allow it to dissolve by staying in an open awareness. When you know fretting serves no purpose, you will no longer fuel this behavior in you.
When you’ve learnt what needs to be learnt from your present reality, you automatically move into a better reality (the one without the negative elements of the old reality). Life is an eternal growth of course, so don’t imagine that you will ever reach a reality where you would have nothing to learn – the deal is to keep moving forward rather than be stuck, because it’s the stuckness that feels depressing. Movement forward always feel exhilarating because you keep staying in sync with your life-stream’s pull and hence will feel less resistance in you. The attitude of learning ensures that you never get stuck and thus live out your potential to the max.