The Art of Letting Go – Part 3

Posted on by Sen.

Letting go does not need any technique, it just needs a willingness to let go of your personal will and the need to make “effort”. You have to become completely “effortless”, and totally relaxed, to be in a state of a complete surrender. If anything needs to be “really” done, life will move the body and get it done. Letting go is a total surrender of the need to make “effort” because life does not move through effort but through ease and harmony. Can you trust life so completely that you let go of all effort on your part and allow the natural expression to unfold?

The mind feels horrified at the idea of letting go completely

Can you sense the tremendous fear that arises in the mind at the very idea of letting go of all forms of “effort”? This fear is what keeps the personal will in place, this fear indicates the level of insecurity that the mind has with life. The mind does not trust life at all, and it believes that everything will come crashing down if it lets go of making “effort”.

When you let go of making effort, your reality will start changing. You will be moved away from all the old realities that were created through personal will (through struggle and effort). The mind becomes terrified when it sees the old reality crumbling and dissolving; this is the reason why you need some courage and complete trust in order to make this transition. It’s not something everyone is ready for. However, it’s something you have to go through if you want to come to the other side where you are free and in the flow.

Are you willing to let go of your old reality? Are you willing to let go of all the things that were created through struggle, which have no place in the natural expression of life? It may be your job, it may be your relationship, or some other attachment, which will dissolve if it was unnatural for you. The dissolution is needed so a new structure can come in place, a new reality which is in harmony with life, which is full of abundance, joy, love and peace. To experience the new reality you have to let go of the old reality.

Don’t be afraid of losing your old reality

The only things that will be removed from your presence would be things that were creating suffering in your life; things that were limiting your full potential of expression. So if your job was a source of limitation, you will see that you will be moved away from this job. If you present relationship is a source of suffering, you will be moved away from this relationship. These changes will start happening at a rapid pace as you start letting go more and more.

Very few teachers ever talk about this transition, and so people who start letting go feel shocked sometimes at the changes that start happening in their reality. The mind can interpret the crumbling away of the old reality in a very negative manner. But what’s happening is a very positive process, only the things that were unnatural to you are removed from your presence. Are you really so attached to things that create suffering for you that you are afraid of letting them go?

Continue to Part 4


  1. Alliswell

    How does responsibility come into play? I can see letting go of things that are creating suffering, but what about day to day routine? If I am hungry, I will eat, If I need a job to pay my bills, then what?

    How can you let go to this degree? Isn’t there disregard for others, family? If I don’t really like cleaning and being organized, I will let that go until I feel it needs to be done? or?

    1. Sen Post author

      The assumption that many people come to, when they hear about “letting go” is that it’s a “inactive” state of being a “slacker”. However, this is a completely misplaced assumption because the actual experience that one is privy to when one lets go of “effort” is that the body moves in a flow and gets things done in an effortless ease – mundane chores like paying bills, going to the bank, getting groceries, driving in the traffic, cleaning your room, finishing assignments, gets done as eloquently as doing creative work. One does not become a “recluse” who is running away from responsibility, rather one becomes a channel through which well-being can flow through. Of course, you will no longer be doing unnecessary or counter-productive actions which you might be doing in a state of effortful fear-based movement of the negative ego. Also, all activities get done at the right time, nor before nor after – the negative ego is constantly sitting in fear worrying about a hundred things that are not even needed, whereas when you let go the wisdom of your wholeness ensures that whatever is really required to be done gets done in a flow and whatever is not really needed does not get done.

      The pointer to “let go” is basically for the negative ego which is sitting in fear, doubt, insecurity and anxious mode of thinking, constantly bringing an energy of resistance to everything. The negative ego is always rooted in struggle, doing things that the wholeness of you is not inclined to do in the moment and thus expending “effort” and feeling out of flow. You can see this part in you operating – it’s vibration is always rooted in fear. To let go is to stay as a relaxed space of awareness and allow the wholeness of life to move the body/mind in accordance with its wisdom and intelligence – it will get things done with an effortless ease, even the most mundane chores get done with an element of wisdom.

  2. Alliswell

    Thank you. You are helping me tremendously.

  3. aj

    Sen, you may have covered this but what is the point of the ego? Is it there to provide us with an indivual perspective on life?

    1. Sen Post author

      Ego is basically just the “me” based thought structure in the mind. All minds create an ego structure to help reference themselves internally. The Ego is not a problem when one is not totally lost in it. Without the ego the mind will not be able to feel “personal” and hence will have no real structure or meaningful experience in life. Basically, its just a “index” through which mind references itself. Allow the ego fully, in a conscious way, this ensures that you are not lost in the ego, neither are you suppressing it.

  4. Ritu

    Thanks Sen for these thoughts. Surrender can be scary when realities start changing.Like you said, it needs courage

  5. Pavlo

    Dear Sen,

    The stage of “letting go” is such a critical and pivotal stage
    In the journey to freedom. Why do you suppose that so few
    teachers teach this most important step?

    It’s almost as if they want to ensure they have followers and
    disciples for years to come…are you able to shed some light?

    1. Sen Post author

      Pavlo, some teachers may not have an understanding of this process, though they may be aligned with themselves, while some may not know how to express it clearly enough. Of course, if the agenda of a teacher is to create followers, it does indicate that they are not really free within themselves.

  6. Radiance

    I am ready!
    Lots of fear, but I am ready.
    Right now I can only let go of effort for a few seconds, but it is a start.

  7. Radiance

    I just want to report that I am indeed being able to keep house without effort.
    My home is not pristine but it is very enjoyable and I indeed find myself doing laundry or even big batches of cooking in ways and times I couldn’t have come up with.
    I did think that if I didnt apply effort, I will soon be living on a filthy home, unsanitary and with laundry through the roof and nothing to eat or wear, but this is not the case and I am really enjoying this. In time I am hoping this will move to other areas of my life.

    By the way, I am a single mother with a 4 year old who can make a mess real fast, but all is well 🙂

    Thank you Sen!

  8. Radiance

    Hi Sen,

    I am back to this, I made some waves, but I am still under a considerable amount of anxiety. I dont trust life, I dont trust myself…

    My question is about letting go of effort, how do we define effort?
    Is getting out of bed effort?
    Is driving to work effort?

    Sometimes I am paralyzed truly not knowing what to do next… I go back to basics and I go to the bathroom if I need to, drink when I am thirsty, eat when I am hungry and sleep when I am tired. But other than that, nothing comes to mind as to what to do,where to go.

    I do go to work, and so some house shores, play with my son, but that is all.
    Unless, of course, I cannot take it anymore and I get busy, becasue I feel soo anxious from the inactivity.

    So, what is effort and what is not? What is effort and what is a natural expression?

    Thank you

    1. Sen Post author

      Radiance, you can read the recent post – Being objective – for insight on your query

  9. Michael

    I’ve lost contact with some friends, so now I only have 1, as well as having lost most of my desire to make YouTube videos (that’s how I get money), and I’m getting some anxiety come up. I hate to sound needy with the “please respond”, which is a quote used to ridicule awkward people, but I’d love clarification if I’m well into the transition period.

    1. Sen Post author

      Michael, a sense of meaninglessness/dis-orientation, along with sense of low-energy, is very common during the phase of release of past momentum – however, it’s just a temporary phase. Just stay fully allowing of the fears that may arise in your mind towards this sense of loneliness or dis-orientation, while also allowing these feelings fully.

  10. Michael

    Thank you for replying. One more question and I should be good for quite a while. You say in your BrainEv article that Levels 2 and 3 are for the negativity coming up. Does that mean that after I’m done Level 3, that I will start seeing more changes? I don’t necessarily mean manifesting a Bugatti, just like “I can see that the process is happening”?

    1. Sen Post author

      Michael, from the perspective of finding inner freedom you may want to let go of this mindset of getting ahead of yourself, keeping your focus on something that you want to experience in the future also distances you from being fully present with what’s arising in you right now. In your own mind if your expectation of this process, of finding inner balance, is that it would be a “gateway” to manifesting your desires, then your attitude towards this process may be misplaced – this process (which keeps deepening your awareness) connects you with “reality” and deconstructs every bit of delusion that you might be carrying in your mind, and not always in a pleasant manner. What you will see with the growth of awareness is a deep sense of ordinariness about everything rather than a sense of deluded extra-ordinariness. This restless pre-occupation with some delusional mindset about a “future success” (or your imagination of it) is a resistance of its own and seems rooted in some over-excited egoic idea of “when I manifest xyz it would all be perfect”, and this mindset is what you will find getting deconstructed during this process. The right perspective/attitude towards this process, of finding inner balance (towards the light and dark nature aspects in you), is about seeing this as a journey towards a deeper maturity, as a being – don’t make this about how do I manifest my bugatti or be super rich. As for your question, Level 2 and level 3 are mostly designed to unearthing subconscious resistances, level-4 and beyond are designed to introduce the balanced state of being, you should sense an incoming stability in your emotional/mental space as you move up the levels.

  11. Michael

    Thank you, Sen. Since you replied to me a few weeks ago about getting impatient about manifesting, I’ve seen a slow increase in awareness of the delusion about that. The waiting for the wholeness is still there, although the materialism/experience/situation, etc. thing is getting a bit weaker. Thanks for everything!

  12. Bre

    Hi, I think its safe for me to say that I am suffering. I’m in a relationship and I’m not happy. I’m not happy with some of the decisions I made in this relationship, like for one, having even started it, and even more so having had a child. I’ve learned from my mistakes that I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness, for my own life. I don’t want to blame my boyfriend for my unhappiness but I really want to make something better of my life, for me and for my son. I feel like i’m holding myself back out of sympathy for my boyfriend because I am better off than he is. At the time we met, I feared I wouldn’t be able to make friends and felt I didn’t have a life, he gave me excitement and friendship but I don’t get that from him anymore.I don’t want to settle. I want to explore life for myself. How does letting go relate to me in this sense? Do I need to let go of feeling sorry for his life? I’m not responsible for his happiness as he is not responsible for mine. I don’t think he gets this.

    1. Markus

      Bre, without a child in the mix, you would be spot on. There would be little need to consider more than your own requirements for experience in life. However, now you are a mother and ought to consider your child’s needs until he can make his own choices in life. It’s not clear from your comment what your situation is – is the bf being a father? You can make choices for yourself while allowing your son to have a relationship with his father, if that works and is important to your family.

      “I don’t want to settle.” Oops, having a child usually spoils that idea. The disappointment of this consequence is something to let go – that is, any clinging to broken dreams of what ‘might have been’.

      “I don’t want to blame my boyfriend for my unhappiness…” sounds like you do blame him, or at least resent him. Blame and resentment are emotions you can let go. If you are no longer compatible, that is ok. At least let the bad feelings go and move on.

      You say you are “better off than he is” – what do you mean? This sounds judgmental, that might be something to let go (if it is only your perception). You are very unhappy, how much better off are you, really?

      “Do I need to let go of feeling sorry for his life?” Yes, you already know that you are not responsible for his happiness. It is also supportive – feeling sorry for someone is another way of saying you don’t believe they can take care of themselves. Trust him to learn his lessons, you have your own to work on.

      Your post is heavy with sadness and regret. Your unhappiness is indeed your own creation; at the same time, it is also true that you can create a happier life. Consciously allow the emotions to fade. That will move you into being able to address your situation from wisdom instead of imbalance. Then you can move your focus from ‘woe is me’ to ‘what now?’ and get along with creating a new experience.

  13. Bre

    Thanks Markus for your comments. My boyfriend loves his son and definately wants to be around however he is irresponsible and sometimes unreliable. When I say I’m better off than he is, I mean to say, I work and I have graduated college. I have a car and by far I am more responsible than he is, life would be more rewarding with someone more responsible like myself. My boyfriend lost his job due to his irresponsibleness and in our relationship, my behaviors have allowed him to continue on with this irresponsibleness. This is what saddens me most and is the thing I most want to change. I’m at the point in my life where I am trying to figure out who I am, I just turned 26 and the biggest part of me that I feel I have lost is my self-resepect and esteem, I’ve lost more confidence in myself than I ever knew I had. I don’t/didn’t allow myself enough space in this relationship, i’m constantly giving in to his needs, wants and demands. I don’t want to settle with being unhappy because my relationship(not my son) conflicts with these changes I want to see in myself. To me letting go of the dissapointment, the resentment, the blame and the judgement is letting go of this relationship. I feel like this is the only way I can create a happier life. I will never be able to get my boyfriend to understand that, I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned just now is that, with my boyfriend I’ll just have put implement some real hard boundaries, there is no room for soft lines or he’ll use that to his advantage. I was always scared of setting boundaries because I thought it would ruin the amicableness between us making raising a child that much more difficult.

    1. Markus

      Bre: “To me letting go of the dissapointment, the resentment, the blame and the judgement is letting go of this relationship.” Be sure that letting go means ‘getting over’, not just ‘leaving’. If you leave the situation without letting go of the blame and resentment, guess what sort of person you are likely to attract into your life again someday?

      “I am more responsible than he is, life would be more rewarding with someone more responsible like myself.” You are the counter-balance of what he is – that is, your need for control or order will draw in someone who is equally disorderly or forgetful or such. If you are able to let go of your own imbalance, a more responsible someone may come into your life. This does not mean you becoming irresponsible; rather, you becoming ok with letting others take more responsibility. You need not do it all alone. Setting boundaries can help you with this, too.

      “i’m constantly giving in to his needs, wants and demands.” Do you feel drained or used? Let him know why you are setting boundaries. Not with blame, rather in words that express how you feel about it. If it’s about you, it is a chance for him to hear you and not get defensive (or whatever his reactions are). Then he has a choice to change or not.

      “I was always scared of setting boundaries because I thought it would ruin the amicableness between us making raising a child that much more difficult.” Boundaries create a relationship with respect (or show you that another does not respect you). Friendly or not, being disrespected can spoil any situation. You are a mother, not a welcome mat. Also, your son learns about relationships from his parents. Live a good example for him – this idea might get through to dad, even if he has problems with you. Be well!

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