Transitions are always a challenge especially if you find yourself clueless about what’s happening. We’ve all experienced different forms of transitions in our life as we grew up, from infancy to teenage to adulthood, other transitions were from school to college to career, and possibly several transitions in career. The transition periods are always challenging in some way, but once you make the transition you start enjoying the benefits of the new reality. Physical life is a constant movement of energy, it’s always moving into an evolution of new realities (growth), because it’s the movement that allows the sense of aliveness. No movement is equal to death, so life is a “verb”, it’s always moving and evolving – this means that transitions are inevitable.
Apart from all the physical changes that have been taking place on earth over the millions of years, one aspect which has been evolving is the awareness in the human brain. And in one sense, you can say that this particular age has many humans that have the capacity/readiness for a deeper awareness, it’s a part of human evolution and growth in the brain’s capacity. Also a lot of negativity has accumulated, over the past several lifetimes of unconsciousness, to the point where its baggage has become too heavy to sustain in your present physical form, and it directly causes you to become conscious of it because you can’t sustain so much negativity without feeling a sense of suffocation and psychological suffering. When you hit a threshold, something has to give, and several humans (or streams of consciousnesses), at this age, have reached such a threshold.
In fact, the reasons are not really important, as long as they help you gain some understanding of what’s happening, the deal is that you are here now and you are aware of your mind’s negativity, its momentum, the negative energy accumulation in your body and the sense of suffering created by all this resistance – all this accumulation happened during the unconscious state of existence (over the many years of human life), when your awareness was fully lost in the mind. The transition now is to come out of being lost in the mind’s pull by growing in awareness/understanding, and start releasing the load of negativity, to move towards a conscious state of being which allows for a balanced/aligned life experience.
What to expect during the transition?
When you know what to expect, the journey is far less confusing and much easier to navigate. What you need to remember is that you are transitioning from a sleep state to an awakened state, from an unconscious/dazed state of being lost in the mind to a fully conscious state of being grounded in awareness. When you reach the other side of this transition, you enjoy the benefits of the conscious state of being, the most important one being a balanced mind/reality and inner wholeness. However, during the transition you are better off not trying to cling to the highs and allow the “deconstruction” to take place – logically, you must understand that this deconstruction involves bringing down structures of negativity in your mind, which directly causes structures of negative/incompatible/incongruent external realities to dissolve. Of course it’s a positive deal, but when it’s happening the mind is bound to feel uncertainty, confusion, disorientation and anxiety. Knowing this, can help deal with it better, instead of panicking at your mind’s reactions.
Actually, fear is the strongest resistance present in the mind, and a big part of this transition is to be free of the pull of fear. Unless you are free of the pull of fear, you stay a prisoner to the mind’s reactions. So, instead of trying to avoid the fear that arises, allow yourself to bring awareness to this feeling of fear, and let it play out in your inner space, until you totally see through its limitations – fear is just an emotion and it has its limits, once you see through its limits you will no longer fear fear. People who make the quickest transition are the ones who become fully open to the fears that arise, until they are no longer fearful of the feeling of fear – this ensures that they no longer resist the deconstruction/detox process and hence allow a quicker transition into the aligned reality.
The fears that can arise are
– Fear of being dysfunctional
– Fear of the future
– Fear of uncertainty
– Fear of being alone
– Fear of the outside world, fear of unconscious people
– Fear of being different
– Fear of losing past identity
– Fear of knowing yourself as you are (it can feel fearful to find out your true personality, especially if your natural makeup is predominantly dark natured)
– Fear of being stuck in transition forever
– Fear of negativity (which causes you to resist the release of suppressed negative energy)
Ultimately, though each of the above thought has a different flavor, the bottom-line is that they all create the same feeling of fear. So once you can see through the feeling of fear, and you are no longer scared of this feeling, you would be able to allow all these thoughts to arises without getting hung up on them. The mind being a survival machine is bound to put up these thoughts during the transition phase – and if you start believing your mind’s fears, you not only become more resistant in your being but you also don’t allow your awareness to find freedom from fear.
So why do so many fears arise? There are two reasons 1. The accumulation of negative energy (over the many life times of your stream of consciousness) 2. Your brain has become more aware of life and of course being a survival machine the first thing it notices is the “unpredictability” of living and the negativity inherent in the human mind. You become more keenly aware of the dark nature in your mind, and due to lack of understanding you start feeling guilty about it.
With more understanding you can realize that the dark nature of the mind is not “negative”, neither is light nature positive, on its own, it’s the imbalance the creates the negativity – be it in the dark nature (dimension of hatred and fear) or the light nature (dimension of love and joy) of the mind. Also, as you grow in your understanding of the negativity in you, you are no longer identified with it. This allows the momentum of negativity to ebb away and thus you become resistance free towards allowing your natural expression, living in alignment with your life-stream’s intelligence (which you did not have access to when you were lost in the mind’s conditioned/reactive movement), which allows for a positive cycle to unfold in your reality.
Understanding the process instead of fighting it
This process of transition from an unconscious state of being to conscious state of being is so natural, especially in this particular phase of life on earth, that if you don’t create unnecessary resistance you will move through it quite swiftly. The only reason why people resist this natural evolution is out of a lack of understanding of this process, especially the part of “detox”/deconstruction of negativity that’s a part of this transition. There are various ways through which the release happens, some examples are
– You suddenly have a lot of fear (or fear based thoughts) coming up in you for no reason.
– Some events happen in your reality that cause negativity to arise in you (basically the negativity that arises is what’s present in you already, and the events only help unearth it)
– You find yourself becoming over-sensitive to the negativity in this world
– You become starkly aware of your disconnected life/reality, creating a sense of hopelessness/frustration in you
Now all of the above situations are what your mind will consider “horrible”, because the last thing you expected (especially after some blissful experience of awakening) was to deal with all the negativity that comes up to be released. Of course, a lot of people don’t have any specific “blissful” moment of awakening, they just start becoming conscious of their fears owning to the accumulated load of negativity in their energy space. Whatever be the case, the deal right now would be to move forward towards consciously finding freedom by releasing the negativity rather than sit in fear of it, wondering what went wrong. Nothing really went wrong, it’s just a natural process of coming back to conscious harmony after years of unconsciousness.
There are lot of questions that get asked about “what to do with the negativity” or “how to get rid of it” or “how to become free”, the answer is that you need to stop fighting/suppressing it – what’s required is to allow it to arise freely. You don’t have to do any practice, or technique, you just need to allow the negativity that’s arising, in your mind and in your body space (as emotions) – this “allowing” is what dissolves the momentum of negativity. The unconscious reaction is to “resist”, while the conscious choice is to “allow”, it’s actually that simple. The only problem is that allowing is not always easy because the negativity can feel really uncomfortable, when it arises, and yet the fastest way to come to an end of the release is to stay fully allowing. Of course, you don’t reach a place of total allowing overnight, it takes time – you can read this post Reaching a Place of Total Allowing, for insights on how your awareness grows incrementally into a state of open allowing.
Sen, I have two questions:
Does meditation help in the process of releasing? My therapist said I should not meditate but focus on grounding the energy during this transition period but sometimes grounding does not help with dealing with the negativity.
I am 25 and currently living away from home (in another country). I’ve been having difficulty staying in places with a lot of people, like on the bus or supermarkets because I feel so vulnerable (it’s like sometimes i have a hard time believing that I am suited to experience physicality – I know it’s nothing but a belief) and exposed. I feel like I just want to be in nature all the time, I even find myself talking to trees lol. I guess my question is, in order to live in society, will I have to learn how to handle my energy space? Cause when I am not in nature, the energetic fluctuations can be so overwhelming sometimes.
Thanks again!
Dan, the simple practice of staying as a space of allowing the mind and emotions to play out, what I call “relaxed awareness” is about all it takes to release the mind momentum – this practice may be called different names, might even be called “doing nothing” meditation or sitting meditation. So if this is what you mean by meditation that of course it has a huge value in the process of releasing. But if your definition of meditation is to do some “focus” techniques like focussing on the breath or chanting or silencing the mind in some way, then it really doesn’t serve a huge value towards release (because ultimately there is suppression involved) but serves a value towards bringing a sense of temporary relief which is helpful until you gain enough stability to start allowing a release. Staying as a space of allowing does not involve the mind, hence it’s not really a technique, it actually is your natural state of being.
Hi D,
As Sen stated in his articles, when the feeling of vulnerability or negativity arises; instead of suppressing it,fearing it,panicing, or fighting it allow it to happen and let it dissolve.
Just want to add, that perhaps 1.5 years ago when I was processing and “clearing out” some really deep intense emotions and had a extreme and intense desire and longing to be in nature. But this wasn’t about escaping, just connecting with nature.
I live in a major city which I like rather than being in the country. I know that being by water – coast, lake, canal – helps soothe me and calms me down able to find these spots within the city.
I sometimes find it hard being around people/shopping for long periods of time – it drains me unless I’m really in the mood. I find I need a lot of alone time to myself to reconnect and re-align. It’s not a problem – I know what suits me now and what I need to do to get back into balance. Other people are the other way – they get their energy from being around other people/busy environments. Anyway, just wanted to write as I think I understand a lot of what you are saying.
Hi Nvibes
I think it also has to do with being away from home in my case. What we’re going / went through does not have a context in most of the West. But I am going back soon, and all I wanna do now is live from a place of simplicity, slow down, buy a dog and reconnect with all those simple pleasures we enjoy as children but are so quick to forget as we grow older and start absorbing all those second-hand beliefs. If you like nature, I would recommend reading this guy called Michal Cohen, he is an ecopsychologist and has some very interesting ideas about human beings and our place in nature. He says life is supposed to be simple, if we just start following our “natural attractions” in the moment. I guess as the Zen masters used to say “when thirsty drink, when tired sleep”. He warns us against the pitfalls of conceptual knowledge, which I think is a trap many on the “spiritual search” are prone to as well and further distances us from direct contact with the sweetness of life and nature.
Sen
This is my 2nd try, I have been told that I’m suffering from a spiritual emergency.
Please explain what this means, and how can i deal with it Many thanks in advance.
Cheri
Cheri, I had no idea what “spiritual emergency” meant, I looked it up and I guess it means a phase in life where a personal transformation is critical. In that sense I would say if you find yourself in a highly disconnected, and misaligned, reality it could mean that you might be at such a place, and what’s needed, to begin with, is to start letting go of your mindset of struggle – you can read this post for some insights on the same
Letting go of the mindset of struggle
Sen, this comment is not really connected with this topic- but something I read on one of your other pages, I can`t remember which one(sorry). Here`s the thing, you recommended to somebody who had posted a comment to read” The Power of Now”, by Eckhart Tolle- which I have read, and also” The Power of Attraction”, by Abraham Hicks. I had never heard of the latter and I it looked up on youtube, what was said sort of doesn`t seem consistent with all I have read- and really appreciated on your pages- I suppose what I am saying is it seems a little “out there”- I am not at all criticizing the lady who was speaking, I am sure she is genuine and has helped many people (and what right would I have to be critical of anybody?)but I wondered if you could say what you take from their teachings?
Thank-you.
Stella, what resonated for me was their message of letting go of resistance to align with the pull of life-stream (they call it “the vortex”) to allow the unfolding of positive realities, instead of being rooted in struggle – they give a clearer picture of how life is stream of well-being when you are aligned with it. You don’t have to go with their techniques, but if you see their core message is one of letting go of resistance.
Sen,
Yet another amazing article.
Once we are enlightened, is there any portion in our brain which keeps fearing of chances of moving to unconscious living again?
I wanted to ask you, we know the fact that you write all these articles out of inspiration.
But is there any part of your brain/mind which is fearful of moving to unconscious life if in case you stop these writings? Pls let us know..
Sat, if by “enlightened” you mean a person who has enough understanding to let go, or have freedom, of his/her inner resistance/negativity and get aligned with their natural expression, then yeah there is no possibility of going back to unconscious state simply because once you’ve gained a clear understanding of negativity you can’t go back to being lost in negativity. If a part of your brain is fearing moving into unconsciousness, it just means that you are yet to gain a clear understanding of negativity, and you are still in fear of the negativity – this is mostly because you have some imagination of what being “enlightened” means. Being enlightened literally means having a “clear understanding” nothing more, and once you have a clear understanding you are not confused anymore. There is no part in my brain that’s afraid of going back to unconscious living, because that’s not even possible unless someone replaces my brain or erases all its memory/understanding.
Sen,
Thank you so much for writing, everything makes more sense now since I’ve started transitioning a year back.
Awareness just keeps growing and growing, as well as lots of fears and negativities just kept coming up to be released. Though the process is indeed a painful one, at the end of each cycle, I’m just really grateful for all the lessons learnt and for the more loving self I am becoming now.
At the moment, what came up is this depressed feeling of loneliness. I have good friends who care about me, but I just can’t seem to connect with my peers anymore the more I progress on my journey (I’m quite young). The mind likes to rationalize this feeling, hoping to understand it and see through the beliefs and thoughts that give rise to this feeling.
I would like to ask, what is the right way to go about it?
Star, the problem is with the “fear” of loneliness, not the feeling itself. And this process does require you to transcend this fear so that you are not dominated by the pull of this fear, as is the case with many humans which makes them needy towards a relationship. So when this fear of loneliness arises, you need to bring awareness to it to the point where you are no longer fear it. The moment you transcend this fear, you will notice that you attract a lot of compatible friends, this is because when you are free of the fear of being alone you naturally have a vibe of abundance about you that attracts abundant relationships as per your natural preference – this fear of being alone usually ends up crippling our natural expression because then we are constantly looking for approval and looking to fit it, thus attracting incompatible relationships.
How do we understand the fear of loneliness and transcend it? And I would like to understand how this feelings of loneliness come about the more we progress on the spiritual journey.
When I understand something completely, I don’t suffer from it anymore. Would need some help with your wise input, Sen.
Star, a big part of inner alignment is to feel totally joyful in your own being, in your own space. If you see the space of life is all alone, it’s all there is, and this whole play of existence is about the life having a love affair with itself, it sees itself in the mirror of physicality and enjoys this recognition. You, as this body, are one of the physical expressions of life and when you connect with inner space, it’s like re-connecting with your wholeness – like life recognizing itself as you. There is a lot of joy in this re-connection, especially if your focus has always been held by the outside, lost in the outside. During this journey of inner alignment, there is always a phase when there is a deep desire to just be with yourself, to connect with yourself and really get to know your inner space, your mind and your being. To allow this phase, one needs to let go of conditioned societal beliefs which seems to equate being alone with being miserable. Solitude is the space which really allows for a deep inner connection, when you are lost in the outside distractions its very difficult to make this inner connection. Of course, this is just a phase, and when you make this inner connection the energy naturally starts moving in the direction of external expression again – this causes you to become fully engaged with the outside again but this time from a space of inner wholeness.
Star, you are never lonely if you find the joy within you. Even if you are physically alone.
That joy is a magnet for others.
You need not worry, life will take care of you in that sense.
Sen and Samir,
Wow, a wave of loneliness came about again this afternoon, and I just stayed with it, observing as much as I can without running to the mind again. Towards the end of the observation, I was aware of this quiet, still presence that rest underneath all those mass of emotions, and joy just arose in me for a moment.
When I read back your comments again, it made so much more sense now. I suppose this ‘dis-connectedness’ with being happened due to blocks and the misperception to constantly seek outside to experience wholeness. Did I miss anything?
Sen, how should I proceed now after having a glimpse of this inner presence?
Star, it about bringing a balance between your space of being and your mind, eventually. This balance allows you to indulge in physicality while also being rooted in the wholeness of your being. The way you come to this balance is by allowing your mind momentum to reduce, and allowing the release of suppressed negativity, by resting in this space of being (what you experienced as the still presence). You can read these posts
The space of being
Coming to a place of total allowing
Sen,
I can’t thank you enough for this website.
As I experience my transition from unconsciousness to awareness, I mistakenly thought I would feel happier right away…but I didn’t and I was so confused. I successfully gave up my addictions to alcohol, codependent relationships, etc. and started to take better care of my health and spiritual well being but I could not shake this deep sadness that would rise up. As I would let go of toxic relationships from my past, I thought I’d suddenly start to meet healthier people…but it’s been SO quiet. I love my own company but to be alone ALL the time was starting to take it’s toll. when you’ve built up a lifetime of toxic relationships and then suddenly start to clean house, it can become very quiet. My entire social circle has disappeared and I am starting from scratch as a single woman of 47 yrs. The loneliness was palpable, but at least I would no longer resort to spending time with just anyone to squash the lonely feeling. I was too aware now to do that anymore. So I just felt the feeling…I went through it until it passed and I was no longer afraid of the it anymore.
When you mentioned being overly sensitive to the negativity in the world…that’s my next hurdle. I couldn’t put into words how I came to feel this way, and how much it was affecting me during my transition, but I realize now it is part of the process. Thank you for putting words to what I was having difficulty recognizing and understanding.
I am so grateful to have stumbled upon this site.
Sen, I am sooooo grateful, happy and proud that you are touching so many of us, your readers. I feel like expressing my gratitude over and over again.
as a spiritual leader i have coped with obcessive thoughts for many years. accidently came across your sight. i have used some of your techniques in the past with great sucess. but whoa what a mind opener. it is good to hear from so many others that have the same issues with thoughts and anxiety. my daughter is wired the same way. we both have always looked at bad thoughts as clouds floating through our mind. looking forward to using your methods. u are God sent
Hi Sen, I would like to ask once we’re aware of the pattern of being addicted to pain (emotional , psychological), how do we break the pattern? And do you mind explaining more on the mechanism of addiction; what are the underlying causes and the formation of patterns of addiction.
Thank you.
Starlight, if you consider the analogy of a person who keeps getting sick because of eating bad food but is unconscious of the cause of his sickness (this is the state of total unconsciousness where one is simply repeating patterns of negativity in a blind manner), one day someone points of to him that the cause of his sickness is the bad food that he’s eating (this is like a spark of awareness where one becomes aware of the cause of the negative feeling), but the man continues to eat the bad food out of habit (this is a phase of being aware but not being able to let go), however his awareness makes it more and more difficult for him to keep sabotaging himself and he finally starts letting go of the bad food (this is the phase of being aware and developing enough willingness to really let go without falling into the pull of habit). This phase of “aware letting go” is a choice that comes into play in an aware person – an aware person is simply someone who is not lost to the “patterns” and has the understanding, and observation capacity, to be able to see them in operation within. Reading, understanding, observing (inner observing or relaxed awareness of your inner space) are all means of growing in awareness. The phase of letting go is a “choice” that one has to make, consciously from this place of awareness – it’s a personal choice and a personal journey, and it depends on your willingness to consciously let go of being identified with the old patterns that causes the release of past momentum. So the “how” is in “letting go”, and if you ask “how to let go” it’s like asking how do I stop eating bad food – the answer is that once you are aware it’s a conscious choice that you need to start making. Moving through a phase of release/letting-go is a journey of a willingness to no longer keep identifying with past patterns and allow their momentum to come up and be released.
Hi Sen,
I am very grateful to have accidentally found your site. The process of awaking happened to me about a year ago and it was a truly blissful experience of ‘waking up’. Then I got into a relationship that seemed to unearth a lot of suppressed negativity within me, especially after it ended. This was a painful process and all my efforts to suppress the feelings were futile so I was forced into an ‘allowing’ state without really realising what was happening. This seemed to heal a lot of my insecurities and fears in one big swoop. However that was not the end of it and I still felt that there was more negativity to come – but without having an understanding of the process I was resorting to using ‘positive thinking’ methods in a desperate attempt to suppress any negative feelings that came up. As you know, this doesn’t work and I felt that my life stream guided me to your site. Since then I have spent hours and hours reading it, being on my own and feel I am releasing a lot of my mind’s past momentum at this time. It’s a process that I am thoroughly enjoying, despite the challenges. I feel that your site explains everything so well and answers the questions and curiosities that I have in my mind. I just had a couple of questions for you that I have been dying to ask, one of them is to help with a personal problem and the other is just curiosity:
1) Alcohol. This is something that I have used in excess over the past 10 years since becoming an adult. I know that I drink too much, but have always been heavily involved on ‘the party scene’ and although I have been through periods of worrying a lot about the amount I drink (usually a lot at weekends when out with friends, etc) I have never been able to reduce or stop drinking. Since my process of ‘awakening/awareness’ this has been no different. Indeed, in the past month, I have been drinking to excess and at times waking up in the morning hating myself for it. I stay with these feelings and allow them instead of trying to battle them like I used to. I wondered if you had any advice for me with reagrds to this particular situation? I feel that my use of alcohol is getting in the way of my health and therefore happiness.
2) You write about the nature of life, streams of consciousness, reincarnation, etc and I believe everything you write about to be true when I read it because it resonates with me. However, I am curious, how did you become aware of these specific details about the nature of life?
Many thanks again for your site Sen. It has helped more than I am managing to express!
Ness, in an unconscious way a lot of our actions are motivated purely from an impulse to suppress pain or amplify pleasure in some way, both of which can be suppressive tendencies sometimes resorted to in an unwise manner – for example, doing drugs or over-indulging in alcohol to suppress the confusion/emotional pain in one’s life even while knowing the health effects of the habit, this is what it means to enter into unwise movement in a helpless manner. The helplessness is created due to a lack of inner power, or a willingness to simply be open to facing/allowing the emotional movement that’s arising in oneself possibly of depression, anger, meaninglessness, confusion or just boredom. In a bid to avoid feeling this emotional movement (because the movement is felt to be uncomfortable, as it has a momentum to it), one resorts to temporary escape mechanisms like doing drugs. In your case, you may be over-indulging purely for the sake of amplifying your pleasure in the moment, the deal with alcohol is that once you get a little tipsy the tendency would be to try and enhance the pleasure by drinking more, which obviously has a counter effect because as you drink more the toxicity sets in and causes you to move to an unpleasant experience. So while drinking you need to get conscious of this tendency to want to “amplify” pleasure, and use this consciousness to let go of following this pattern (having learnt from your previous experiences of the unpleasant after effects of drinking more). Responsible drinking (drinking in moderation) can be enjoyable without the unpleasant after effects provided you really are following a moderation, and to stay with moderation requires a strong awareness to ensure you don’t move into the habit of trying to enhance the pleasure by doing more. An over-drive towards seeking the high states of joy is an imbalance of its own, possibly from the fear of allowing a sense of ordinariness in your life.
As for your second question, I was on the path of trying to understand life, the reality of it, and I was fully open to knowing reality as it is without wanting it to fit into something that I “convenient”. In this openness I felt guided towards several teachings on the internet, from different websites, books and videos, that gave me a deeper perspective on life, in the light of my own awareness I was able to sense the perspectives that resonated with my being like an inner “knowing” – so none of this is a belief that I try to hold on to, it just feels like a natural knowing. However, I don’t try to hold on to any of these understanding in order to feel secure about my life, I only write about them because I feel like sharing this understanding – it’s not something that needs to held on to, it’s not something that I try to “prove” as right, this is just an understanding/knowing I have that naturally resonates in my being.
Glad I read this one right now, I’m messaging one of the girls who watches my videos and caught myself trying to gain her approval by being funny, it was quite weird having a wave of humor come over me, so sufficed to say, having caught the imbalance, I was freaking out on the inside “Ah, what have I done? You’re still needy, you’re talking to another girl online that you can’t have, etc”. Feels kinda bad, but I know it’s necessary too.