If you look at it, the process of becoming free of negativity, and coming into alignment with yourself (with your life’s calling), just requires two steps
1. Develop your awareness by becoming “observant” of your thought/emotional space, instead of being lost in it
2. Go through a phase of letting go of the past negativity by staying as an open space and allowing the natural release – I would call this the “detox” of your inner space
Once you’ve developed awareness, and let go of your past negativity, your reality would feel like a fresh start, and you will feel like a new person. From here on, it would be about exploring life from a place of connection. It’s that simple.
The simplest and the most direct pointer would be “develop awareness and then let go of past negativity”. As you become aware you identify the negativity and thus stop being lost in it, and then you need to unload the baggage of past negativity before you can enjoy the journey. So becoming aware is the first step, but letting of the past negativity is the most crucial and all-important next step. Once the momentum of past negativity ebbs away in you, there is very low resistance in your inner space, which allows the full flow of the well-being inherent to your life-stream ensuring a congruent and harmonious reality, also allowing for your natural expression.
So why so many posts?
When this process is so simple, why bother with so many extra pointers and so much in-depth understanding? Well mostly because different brains have different requirements of “knowledge” so that they can clearly understand what it means to be aware and what it means to let go of past negativity, and what it means to live a life aligned with inner wholeness – so that they can finally allow it to happen. For some people just the pointer of “let go” is enough to start letting go of the negativity, and becoming aligned with the pull of their life-stream. For most others, a lot of understanding may be needed, before they can start letting go of the negativity, and hence more in-depth pointers, and insights, are needed.
For example, when I say stay as an “open space” and allow the natural release of the momentum of negativity, a lot of people would require a deeper understanding of what it means to be resting as an open space (relaxed awareness), and what it means to naturally release the negativity, or what negativity means to start with. So the pointer may be simple, and something in you already gets it, but the brain feels a doubt and asks “how”, just to be clear, just to know that it’s doing it right – and it’s normal. And hence some other pointers to explain the direct pointer.
Moreover, the brain requires “reinforcement” before it can really get it. When the same pointer is expressed in very many ways, the brain slowly starts getting it. When I first read “The Power of Now”, I hardly understood anything other than the practice of becoming aware of the present moment (which I interpreted as removing focus from the mind and focusing on the objects in my surroundings). Also, becoming “aware” basically just caused me to become more aware of my negativity, making me feel more negative, and it was not until I started understanding the aspect of “letting go” that I could put the pieces together, and come to a deeper understanding, and hence come to an inner stability. Becoming aware is the easy part, it’s the letting go of the negativity which is a challenge, and most of the pointers in these posts are to generate awareness of the negativity, and the dynamics of the process of letting go.
“Negativity” is not so easily defined – because it comes in different forms, in many gross and subtle aspects, different flavors and different dimensions. If I just say “let go of negativity”, it would mean nothing to a lot of people because if they could they would – most people are completely aware that they have a negativity, it’s just that they are not able to let go of it. The reason why a lot of people can’t let go of their negativity is because they are not able to identify its dynamics in them. Also, it’s required to identify the root of the negativity before one can even start letting go of it, and for many people it can be a huge challenge to identify the various aspects of their own negativity, and these pointers can help to do just that, that’s the reason for so many pointers.
Understanding helps expedite letting go of negativity
Always remember that this process by itself is really simple and scientific – you just need to relax and no longer fuel the negativity, and it will ebb away on it own (because it’s not supported by the vibration of life), it needs your focus to sustain itself. However, it takes time for the negativity to die away, and usually people get “impatient” too soon and they start thinking that they are doing something wrong – remember that it took years for the negativity to gain momentum in you, and it will at-least take a few months before it can lose hold, after you start letting go of it. It’s like when you stop adding fuel to the fire, it dies out on its own, but it does not extinguish immediately, it burns on the past fuel for a while.
Identifying negativity is usually the most challenging and complex aspect – because the negativity can show up in some many hidden forms. The purpose of these pointers is to identify negativity – what could’ve taken years to identify on your own, you can identify in a few days or week when you have the right pointers or guidance. Most of what I write took me a few years to realize on my own and you can use these pointers to shorten your time period, towards alignment, immensely. It’s the lack of knowing that keeps people seeking for a long time, sometimes a life-time. The right knowing can help you get through with the process of letting go of the negativity as quickly as a few months (which is usually needed for the momentum of past negativity to ebb away).
Also the process of letting go by itself requires a lot of understanding because when you start relaxing, and opening up, for a while it seems blissful and then the process of “detox” starts with the various layers of negativity coming up to be released – the usual reaction is one of confusion or panic, and trying to get back to the bliss, instead of allowing this release to take place. Some people get stuck just suppressing this release, sometimes for many years. With the right pointers and guidance you will understand this process clearly so you no longer get panicked about the release that’s happening, and you stay open to allowing it to release fully – in this openness this whole process of “cleaning out” the past negativity, gets done in a few months, what could’ve taken several years if you had confusion/resistance about it.
One pointer can help remove a block that could’ve kept you hostage for a few years – that’s the power of pointers in this process of letting go of negativity. A subtle misunderstanding can keep you going in a loop for years, and it can get cleared up in a minute when you get an insight/pointer about it. This is an age of information, there is so much access to all forms of teachings and resources, if one has an attitude of learning, one can easily come to a clear understanding – what took several years to understand just a few decades back, can be understood in a span of a few weeks now. This is the reason why so many people, presently, who have the receptivity to learning, are consciously able to become free of the hold of negativity in them, through their understanding of it, and thus come to a place of alignment in a much shorter span.
I would love a SEARCH function… so I can specifically find posts I have read before but can not find easily…
The search facility has been added, thanks for the suggestion
So beautiful, all your posts are so simple yet so incredibly clear and informative.
One question what is the best way to completely allow the natural release? What causes the most resistance to this process? Help me understand so that i won’t do it and ill be able to stop myself when I’m resisting
thanks
Thank You so much.
Well said! I enjoy your reinforcements they help me process the understanding(s), soak it up and then the application/wisdom becomes much clearer!
I also enjoy the different view points of your Q & A replys. They too add reinforcement and help sound down the meaning.
Sincerely,
T
I have been trying to let go of negative feelings and emotions since desember. I stay aware of the negative emotions and feelings that are present. I doesn’t always go easily. But when I let go I usually start “sighing” a lot afterwards. Sometimes for hours or days. Then it slows down. Is that normal?Is it because I release the negtive momentum in me?
Sometimes positive emotions come up after I have released negative emotions. Lately I have been having a lot more positive emotions. But I feels weird to feel these emotions. A little bit scary since I’m not that used to it. And I feel restless in my body when positive emotions come up. Is it naturally?
I’m norwegian and english is not my first language but I hope you understand my point:)
Yes this is normal, basically you are just getting used the high vibration which is coming into your inner space as the accumulated negativity gets released – you can read this post “Getting used to the vibration of joy“
I can identify with feeling blissful to begin with, and now getting confused and panicky. I feel sleepy, mentally relaxed and detached – all three not my normal behavior 🙂
Your re-inforcement is certainly helping me keep faith. I guess I should allow these feelings for now?
Ritu, that’s how it is for a while, there can be a sense of disorientation because you are no longer holding on to familiar patterns of negativity that were dominant in the mind and in fact you are no longer holding on to the limiting conditioning of the mind either. Before, your mind was like the motor running your life, pulling you around, but now that you are no longer hinging on it (since your awareness is becoming free of its pull) there will be a sense of disorientation for a while. This is just a temporary phase (the transition phase), and soon you will start moving from a place of inner guidance and inspiration – this movement is unlike the mind’s fear/lack based movement, this movement seems to come purely from a place of inspiration which is not lack induced.
Thank you Sen for direction and explanation and your posts
Dear Sen
Regarding all your posts and pointers, I have a fundamental question. Are they descriptive or prescriptive (to use a phrase from one of the Masters I heard) in nature? I will try to elaborate what I mean in the light of whatever I have understood thus far:
1. Many Masters say that enlightenment is the realization that there is no individual person and no individual personality. It is false. They say that what happens with the ultimate realization of enlightenment is that there is an intuitive and certain understanding that there is no individual doer who is responsible for any of their actions and thoughts. Everything is happening as part of the workings of the universal consciousness and we as body mind/organisms experience exactly that which we are meant to experience in that moment according to the will of this universal consciousness by way of our thoughts, actions, words, etc,. I have a heard one spiritual Master say something to the effect of “In reality things are done to you, not by you.” In fact some even allude to a saying attributed to the Buddha, which goes like “Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof.” They say with enlightenment what dies is only the false sense of authorship based on our egoic notion that we are responsible for our actions, thoughts, etc (whether they be good or bad) at any given point in time. So they say that if a certain change in thinking pattern has to happen (say positive thinking has to happen to effect a positive lifestyle, it will happen on its own accord in due time if it is meant to be). In the light of the above, then what I meant to ask was this – when you suggest pointers do you expect someone to actually “do” it or is that you lay out what has to happen through a person/personality to get to a place of alignment/enlightenment. Since most of us are strongly identified with the ego (which is said to be a false/non-existent entity) when your pointers are filtering through our egoic personality, we feel that we have to “make” something happen, which is more like what you hear when you go to some psychologists/psychiatrists for counseling, which I think is not what you are pointing to here. Even when you have pointed out that staying present should not be made into a technique and that we have to “let go” and relax, I guess there is a danger that the ego will make it into a technique sooner or later. This will be like using though to get out of thought into a thoughtless state. Also, there could not be a complete understanding (which probably comes only with total alignment with one’s life stream) as to what is this state of just simply relaxing. Obviously, the idea that the mind conjures up is that a person can be relaxed all the time, thus making it a point to stay relaxed and hence turning it inadvertently into a technique. This defeats the purpose and is as unreasonable as trying to stay aware/present all the time. Also, we have to account for periods when relaxation has to happen when there is restlessness and agitation in the mind as much as we have to account for when relaxation makes us feel calm and collected. The former state is difficult to understand. It is not easy to comprehend and experience that the state of letting go and relaxation encompasses the contradictory states of both serenity and agitation that is experienced when one is relaxed. I think most people expect only feeling serene when they let go.
Thanks!
Sanjay
Sanjay, the basic deal is to release your resistance to life. It’s pure physics that if you don’t have resistance you will not feel the friction, and hence you have a smooth journey. Once a person releases his inner resistance, he feels free within – after that he can try to convey this simple truth in his/her own words, and obviously words being words can be misinterpreted by the listener, the deal with words is that it’s upto the listener to make sense of it. If you just stick with one simple pointer of “let go”, it’s enough to release resistance, but then the mind is confused about what letting go means – but if you again use the pointer of “let go”, it means you have to let go of trying to solve the confusion and allow it to be. So if you just stick with this one pointer of “let go”, it’s enough to reach a place of being free of resistance, for instance
– when your mind feels frustrated and wants a solution, you just let go for while instead of trying hard to come to a solution. In this moment of letting go you become receptive to deeper intelligence
– when your mind is trying to be aware all the time and feels bad about not being able to be aware, you let go of trying to be aware, and see that awareness is happening on its own now and then, and its enough
– When the mind is trying hard to be loving (as an effort), you let go and allow yourself the freedom to be angry
So you can see how the pointer of let go moves into everything. To be relaxed is no longer by opposed to life, that includes negativity that arises in you, you are not opposed to it, neither are you indulging in it, it’s like a simple place of allowing without being a prisoner to it.
The pointer of “there is no doer” is similar to the pointer of “let go”, it’s just a directive for the ego that it can relax and that life will take care – the ego when it tries to be the doer goes into a lot of struggle, rather if you are more relaxed you become open to allow life to inspire you into the right action. It’s something you need to experience to realize, and to experience it you need to be willing to trust life over the mind’s conditioned fears.
Hi Sen,
Thanks for this article. It’s really reassured me that everything I’m experiencing at the moment is part of a phase of transition. Do you believe that once a person has a basic understanding of awareness, they can never lose that and return to complete unconsciousness with the mind?
I have recently come across this concept of awareness and openess and feel that I am definitely going through a shift in my perspective on life. I think my mind assumed that this would be the answer to letting go of my negativities, but I can see that part of has been experiencing something similar to what you experienced after reading ‘the power of now’. I have noticed that so many of my thought patterns are negative and that can be quite overwhelming. Since being aware, I have been experience an unsettling feeling within and a state of confusion… However it sounds like this is quite normal. I have had more moments of pure calm and bliss but again they are fleeting. In order to keep transitioning I’m spending time concentrating on what my values are and whats important and therefore choosing activities that reflect this… I guess I’m just asking for reassurance that I am goig through a process and experiencing something natural?? Thanks
Jess, allow yourself to go through this “release” which is happening by staying open to it – for a while don’t cling too much to the periods of bliss/calm that come and go, and don’t get too anxious when a lot of suppressed negativity comes up to be released, this is just a process of detox and it will run its course until it clean up the negative momentum in your inner space. The more relaxed and open you are, the faster this process comes to an end, allowing you to come to a stability without all these intense fluctuations. What you are experiencing very natural, and you just need to open up more to the release. Sometimes the mind can try to “distract” itself into activities in a bid to try to suppress this release that’s happening. There will be plenty of energy and inspiration for activities once the release is done, but right now don’t try to struggle too much with the activities and focus more on being restful and relaxed.
Thanks sen, Good to know. Will do!
senji,
I have already started the process of letting go of all the negativity…getting aware of ourselves is giving lot of peace from inside even though still some conflict is there..i wanted to clarify a doubt regarding karma. i read about karma written by Paul Brunton. I was so overwhelmed by the explanation of the dynamics of karma. but do really each and every negative thought of ours will come back to our life like Newton’s law of every action has its reaction. or does it depends on the good deeds we do to reduce it? even from my childhood days i have always asked myself when iam infront of mirror the same question Who am I??? i have never felt the feeling of oneness or myself watching me in mirror…i always feel who am i… until now.
rkr, there is no separation in life, so you are the wholeness of life, but specifically right now you are this human form which is nothing but “physically condensed” life-energy. So when you ask the questions – who am I, there are two answers 1. you are life-energy, the wholeness of it 2. you are this human form as the physical aspect. In this human form, if you want to understand who you are, you basically need to understand the personality of your brain, because that’s the center of perception in this body, and it’s you as the brain that perceives all the senses. You can read the below two posts to understand your mind better
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-core-personality-of-your-mind/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/which-dimension-of-your-mind-is-attracting-your-reality/
I will write a post on karma
Hii Sen,
For the past five years I have been struggling a lot to achieve my goals by deliberately forcing myself to do things. So I am always on guard and constantly in a driven state. However inspite of all the struggle I have achieved nothing. So I came across your post and read about letting go.For the past 1 month i have stopped all the struggle and just relaxing.However it feels as if I am doing nothing and the feelings of worthlessness and insecurity are predominant in my mind. I also struggle from social anxiety and I used to try to impress other people as my self worth depended on their approval. However lately I have stopped that and i just remain silent if i don’t have anything to say,but it feels unnatural and I feel as if the person who I am talking to will reject me if I don’t impress them.Can u please give me a pointer for going through this phase? I am confused and my mind is always seeking reassurance..
Viraj, the first step is to be free of the influence of the mind’s negativity. Once you have this freedom you can engage with the world from this place of inner stability. Right now you are in the “first step”, and this step will involve that you start allowing all your fears to surface without trying to fight them – this allowing will ensure that the fears don’t get the fuel of your fear of them, thus they will slow subdue in their momentum. This “first step” or “detox phase” feels uncomfortable, and it’s definitely the most challenging aspect of coming towards inner wholeness – however this step can’t be bypassed or avoided. You can read the below posts for further insights.
http://www.calmdownmind.com/reducing-mind-momentum-is-the-key/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/working-on-specific-fears-vs-reducing-mind-momentum/
Hii Sen,
Thanks for the reply. For the past month i have been letting go. However during this phase ( first phase) I regularly come across following thoughts and feelings.
1. Depression, I am Feeling very sad.
2. Confusion, whether I am doing the right thing
3. Uncertainty
4.Loneliness
5. Low self worth
6.Sensitivity to criticism
Is this because of the release of negativity, or am I on the wrong path. Is this part of the solution???I feel like I am doing nothing and this state will never go away…
Viraj, if you are consciously “allowing” these feelings to arise, and these thoughts to arise, while staying in a space of awareness, it’s the state of the highest intelligence possible – the most conscious way of being. So what makes you think you are doing “nothing”? To consciously allow the emotional energy and the negativity of the mind from a place of dis-identification is a “doing”, and it takes a lot of awareness to do this. It will take time for you to sense a stability in your awareness, but as you continue to consciously stay allowing of these low vibrations, without being identified with them, you will start sensing your inner freedom from the emotions or the thoughts of the mind.
The thoughts and feelings you mentioned above are all part of the momentum of negativity in the mind fueled by the emotional accumulation (suppressed negative energy of the past). You move into a release cycle the moment you start becoming fully allowing of them as a conscious choice. Though the state of allowing feels like you are doing nothing, you are actually doing the best thing possible because by staying allowing you become open to letting your inner being (or life-stream) touch your physical being (body/mind) thus allowing the healing and solutions to come in.