If you can sit for 10 minutes, with your eyes closed, without the need to do anything, you automatically drop into the space of life/being around the noise of your mind and feelings. The problem however is that most people who use this pointer as a technique end up “trying to do nothing”, which basically just causes them to stay occupied with the doing of nothing. Though the pointer is so simple, it can take a while before you really get what the pointer means especially if you are mind oriented person who immediately tries to get good at executing the pointer as a technique. Basically it’s about letting go of the need to do anything, even of the need to sense the space, that’s when you automatically get connected with the space of being, you fall into it.
The more you connect with this space of being the more you dis-identify with fueling the mind momentum. You don’t have to do this all day long, but just 2 or 3 times a day, whenever you are free, possibly for 10-15 minutes. With time you will automatically sense a desire to connect with this space of being more and more, and then it stops becoming a practice and becomes your natural movement. Resting in the space of being allows for a balance to come in to your physicality, to your mind and body. The pointer of “relaxed awareness”, which I use several times, is the same as resting as this space of being.
The fear of letting go into the space of being
Initially there can be some fear that comes up when you let go of control, let go of the need to do anything, and simply allow yourself to drop into this space. This fear arises from the mind that’s habituated to figuring things out, and the act of letting go into a total “non-doing” creates a sense of panic in it. Just let the panic ride out, and continue to stay in a space of letting go of control totally. If you have a strong momentum in your mind, and a heavy load of negative energy store-up in your body, it can feel unpleasant when you let go of control, because in this total allowing the mind and body starts re-harmonizing and this energy movement can feel like lot of “sensations” happening at once – however, you are grown up enough to allow this temporary unpleasantness. If the sense of panic is too high for you to handle, just get back to “holding on”. It can take time before you feel comfortable letting go into the space of being, but as you continue doing this practice this space gets more and more familiar.
Though the term “space of being” seems all spiritual, in truth it’s nothing but the space of silence around your thought/feeling space. When you rest in this space your focus becomes “relaxed” and hence you don’t contract on any of the thoughts or feelings. This causes the momentum of the mind to start reducing, and it also causes the release of suppressed negative energy in your body. If you have a strong mind momentum, you will notice that your attention is glued to the mind in some way, it’s as if your focus is “contracted” on the mind – such a contracted focus causes amplification of the thoughts, because your focus magnifies/strengthens the presence of anything that it stays rooted on. Resting in the space of being not only removes your “contracted focus” on the thoughts/feelings, but also allows your mind, and emotional space, to be touched by the intelligence of the wholeness of life.
The space of being is referred to in many spiritual teachings as “emptiness”, awareness, pure consciousness, space of stillness, the space of Now etc, basically all of them are pointers to get you to sense the space outside your mind. This space is always here, and always whole – the more you rest in it, the deeper it goes. It’s like the ocean’s depth, the more you touch the depth the less you feel the influence of the surface level waves. Also, from this space of being you can allow a free movement of the feelings and thoughts that arise in the moment, without any resistance, thus allowing a faster harmonization. All that’s needed is to overcome the fear your mind might throw up about letting go so totally.
Connecting with the space of being feels like a practice initially, until a stability establishes itself, in which case this space becomes permanently present along with your mind/feeling space – the two co-exist as you move about in your daily life. Once you become grounded in this space of being, the mind, or feelings, are no longer overwhelming, and from this place you can allow the mind momentum to reach a null point. You can simply do this as a practice on daily basis, until you start sensing that this space feels stable in you, after which you can let go of the practice. Your mind comes to a balance, and your energy space becomes free of the suppressed energy, as you establish a grounding in this space. In the absence of this grounding it’s inevitable that you become lost in the mind momentum.
A balance between mind and being
The mind represents the physical domain whereas the being is the space of non-physical life-energy, and an interplay between the two is required for a balanced physical expression. Losing touch with the space of being is the reason for all the imbalances that happen in the domain of the mind. The reason is simple, when you have no connection with the space of being, all of your awareness is contracted on the mind, causing a constant, and unconscious, fueling of the mind momentum. As you continue to connect with this space, you will sense the intensity of your mind-movement and feelings reducing, of course it takes time (a few months) for this reduction to happen given the fact that this momentum was gathered over several years of unconscious living. You will sense an inner stability establishing itself gradually, as you find more and more connection with your space of being.
All your inner guidance, instinct, inspiration, solutions and creative impulse, stems from this space, and hence it’s the field of wisdom that is required to balance the mechanical/conditioned thinking of the mind. The conflicts in your mind start getting dissolved when it’s touched by this space – it’s like the intelligence of life operating with the intelligence of the mind. The space of being is like silent intelligence, but it can create insights and understanding in the mind, without requiring any struggle oriented thinking, or figuring out, on your part. The mind cannot solve the mind, it requires the intelligence of this space to create any real/lasting transformation in terms of maturity, clarity and stability.
What does one do if they release and reach a calm state but there is no divine inspiration/insights to do anything or take action and nothing in their circumstances changes for the better?
The average person has bills to pay every month which is a constant reminder of their situation. Some may even face foreclosure which can be a terrifying experience. One person commented that releasing only put her in a state of denial that left her no options when a huge bill eventually came due. All along she felt calm (released on any fear) expecting a solution but none came.
Similar to the Release Technique (Larry Crane) I agree the ego mind does not know the answer. But what can we do when there is no answer forthcoming even after continual releasing?
It all sounds great in theory and I really want to believe it works but I really struggle to see it work reliably in real life. I am not refuting anything you say but how does one put all this in a simple process (the subconscious seems to like and respond to simple procedures) that actually manifests the kind of effortless/no struggle results we want?
Thank you.
TD, Life becomes smooth when you are aligned with your natural expression, until then it does seem like an endless struggle. May be you are yet to learn from the wake up call that your present reality is throwing at you, it may just be indicating your misalignment with yourself, and with your expression. May be you lack the courage, presently, to be true to your expression and listening to your heart, and are rooted in struggling. If your only focus is on paying the bills, you can be rest assured that this will always a challenge for you. However, if you can shift your focus to the deeper issue, which is to sense if you are living your natural expression, if you are living in alignment with who you are, and what your true calling feels like, then the peripheral issues like paying bills gets sorted out on their own. Life starts working for you, when you start working in the direction of life’s intent in you, or else you just stand in opposition to allowing the well-being of your own life-stream. Ask yourself, if you really feel that you are living your true expression – creative expression and emotional expression? Do you enjoy what you are doing as a work? Do you feel you are being the person you truly are in your relationships, or is it all just a struggle based blur of movement.
When you connect with your space of being, there is connection with your heart, and your inner guidance, but it’s upto you whether you are ready to listen to this guidance. Your mind may be looking for a particular solution that it feels is “right”, and hence you are not available to the guidance of life in you. Connecting with your space of being also allows your mind momentum to slow down, this ensures that you are clearer access to your inner guidance.
As for the person you mentioned, it’s best not to discuss someone you don’t know personally, because you have no idea what their mindset is like and what their vibration is like, their vibration may be totally rooted in struggle and hence they keep attracting struggle.
Dear Sen ji,
Beautiful post. I had an idea with regards to what letting go means and how non-doing gets one there, but this post lays it in black and white.
Thanks a lot for all your help in helping me and others here.
Hi sen,
Regarding your previous article stating that solutions start coming to you… I personally am aware of my egoic mind and am in practice of “letting go of the mind” and living in the present moment. At times i get solutions to certain things, much more stronger than the mind created solutions but yet i fear(may be my mind influecing it) to accept it because i feel that its created by the mind through not just thought but feeling and emotion as well. Should i accept these solutions or bypass it and live in the moment and do without them? Any other comments or suggestions regarding this would be great.
Thank you Sen
Ehsan, the mind can keep over-analyzing everything. That’s the reason why the pre-requisite to aligned living is for the mind momentum to reduce to the point where it has intensity/power to create resistance in your being. In this place, you don’t have to listen for solutions, you are just moved into the right actions by the force of your life-stream, and events get orchestrated (like an environmental movement) to bring in the physical manifestation of the solution.
getting into the “space of being” is just like meditation right? When i am working and a negative thought arises, do i need to stop working, close my eyes and connect with the space of being? When u stop controlling, focusing or supressing thoughts and just allow them in your awareness, does it mean u are connected with the space of being? Whenever a negative thought crops up, i just continue with whatever i am doing and not paying attention to it, reminding myself that the mind is just a machine that generates fears and hence my natural life stream will resolve this and in no time it loses its initial hold on me. I dont know if u could say i perhaps connect with the space of being in this instance.
Please clarify because i am a little confused.
Ben, the ability to be free of the influence of mind’s negative momentum is an indication that you have established a strong grounding your space of being. So all of what you said is a good example of how one becomes free of the mind’s resistance, as one feels more connected with their inner wholeness/space of being.
thanks Sen
Thank you for the reply Sen.
Quote: “TD, Life becomes smooth when you are aligned with your natural expression, until then it does seem like an endless struggle.”
But don’t we see many examples of people who work in their life’s passion yet struggle or fail miserably financially? Starving artists, actors who love acting hoping for their big break that never happens, people who start a business with high hopes yet fail within a year.
Are millionaire South American drug dealers more aligned than missionaries who have to constantly beg for money? Is Walmart more aligned than the small mom and pop store they force out of business?
I have done the Release Technique for a few years now. Whenever a problem arises I release on it. It definitely makes me feel calmer and more relaxed. But rarely does a solution appear or if one does many times it ends up a dead end. For me releasing has never reliably provided an answer financially. I have tried quieting my mind into alpha or theta and allow myself to be receptive to an answer. I know a solution should present itself, but in reality nothing happens either as an idea or any physical manifestation to improve my situation. It’s easy to say I still have some hidden resistance but I have released all that I can. And I see many other people who have released in similar situations.
Life is full of deadlines to do something e.g. school, work, bills, etc. and there’s not an endless amount of time to manifest something. Perhaps if you could give us a pragmatic example of what you would do in an intense situation with a deadline that would be helpful. It would be an effective procedure what we could use ourselves.
Sen, if you were told by a doctor you had an illness and only 30 days to live, what would you do to cure yourself? Or if you would lose your home in 30 days unless you came up with $X dollars that you didn’t have, what would you do to manifest that $X?
Thank you.
TD, natural expression does not just mean “creative expression” alone but also your emotional expression (like self-acceptance and inner wholeness), its about being aligned with your life’s wisdom, guidance and inspiration that brings a balance to your inner space, which reflects in your external reality. There are artists who may be great at their creativity, but if you see their mind you can see huge amounts of negativity, so basically this negativity attracts the negativity in their reality.
Your external reality is a precise reflection of your mind state – there is no escaping this truth, and there is never a contradiction to it. You mentioned that you are free of resistances, and yet all your comments seem to defend negativity in one way or the other. There is a strong vibe of desperation, fear, anger and bitterness, that comes through, and the fact that you are oblivious to this negativity in your mind just shows that you would need to bring more honest awareness towards yourself. I can understand that your mind feels negative because you find yourself in some challenging financial problems, but this reality by itself was attracted by your mind’s lack based thinking, and you can’t bring a real solution to it unless you are willing to dis-identify from this mind pattern. There is no cure for a bad attitude, for an attitude of defending negativity, because no matter what you read you will find a way to defend negativity, you will find examples around you to support the mind’s negativity. It’s your choice, but remember that defending negativity just ensures that it stays around as a huge influence in your reality. If you read your comment from a third’s person’s perspective you will see how much it’s rooted in supporting the fact that life is a struggle, and its a battle everyday to survive. Of course, you can say that most of the world is living this way, and it’s true that its the case, but when you are conscious you have the choice of letting go of negativity and bring a conscious alignment into your life. It’s starts with consciously letting go of defending negativity. That’s the difference between having a strong awareness and being lost in the mind’s negativity.
The essence of what I am saying is that one needs to reduce the mind momentum, because when you reduce the mind momentum you become free of resistance in the true sense. And it takes time to reduce the mind momentum, and that’s why the practice of relaxed awareness is required. Defending negativity is the best way to hike your mind’s momentum, because now you are totally identified with it. No true solution can really come into your life unless you make a shift in your vibe which can only happen when you stop being pulled in by the negative arguements of the mind.
With respect to the 30 day situations you’ve mentioned, there are just two options available to one who is in such a situation 1. Sit and complain, fret, worry, spew anger and be miserable 2. Let go into a total trust in life and let go of defending negativity of any form. The first option creates suffering during every minute of your waking hours, the second option allows for an openness to life, and to see how things work out from intelligence of life. I’ve seen life closely enough to know that realities change completely when one lets go of defending negativity. You are yet to align fully with the second option, and unless there is this total surrender you can’t see a total solution emerging. You cannot sit and “test life”, you either stay surrendered to life or you cling to a struggle based living. If you want to see a change in your reality you have to stop defending negativity, no matter how good your mind’s arguments may be, that’s the actual challenge of it – there is no short cut.
Hi TD, I just sent Sen a note regarding your exchange with him from March, I really enjoyed reading and hope to get clarification as well
Hi Sen,
A master told me to hold the sense of presence or the sense ‘I-Am, and to keep the attention to itself. From what I gather from your post you are saying to let go altogether and just stay as the witness. This is an important point for me because although the witness and presence are one, I have strong fears and feelings which pull me in.
Tonight I went out with a few buddies and tried this on my own, to let go of the sense of presence altogether to allow everything to appear on the screen. While I feel that I was not ultimately successful, being pulled into my fears, i feel that the sense of presence is there anyway.
Also, i have heard the term space been used in many different lights. Sometimes i feel as if although I Am everywhere as space, and in this place I feel untouched. When you speak of this space of awareness or space of being, are you referring to the space in which thoughts and feelings appear in awareness, or, rather the space we see that is around us between physical objects and forms?
If you could clarify these points for me I would be most greatful.
David.
David, by the space of being I just mean the silent space that is present in you as the background to all the thoughts and feelings – the “unconscious” state is when the awareness is lost in the mind, and to consciously allow your awareness to connect with this silent space in you is what it means to rest in the space of being. It takes time to find a stability in this space, it’s doesn’t immediately – so don’t be hard on yourself, just consciously work towards finding more and more connection, and soon you will find an grounding in this space.
Hi Sen,
Thank you for your reply. Is it helpful to notice/feel the vibration of presence when consciously making this effort or to let that go too?
David, allow yourself a full awareness of the thought and the feeling, that’s what naturally happens when you let go of the effort to avoid a thought.
Ok thanks for clearing that up. As you wrote in the article, letting go completely feels like there is a complete loss of control & sometimes I feel like I need to keep grounded. Is it necessary keep the attention in presence/ in the the now or to just stay as awareness as you say?
David, it feels like a loss of control only as a “thought” in the mind, where the mind fears a loss of control. But it’s just a random thought, in truth there is no loss of control, in fact all that’s happening is that the pull of negativity loses hold and you become more grounded in your space of being. Just don’t give in to the fear of the mind when it says that it’s losing control, it’s just a random thought, all that you are losing is being pulled around by the mind’s struggled based thinking and thus becoming more open to your life-stream’s intelligence.
hi sen.. iam glad that i found your website…i have got some very strng negative thoughts flowing in my mind all the time. As you said to watch them and dont give your intrest i automatically giving my negative intrst through fear when i watch them ..please help me
Sen,
Have been doing this ” Allowing ” thing for a while now, but i just carnt seem to get the space of being. My mind momentum has slowed a lot since starting this and i seem to no longer get involved with my thoughts, they just come and go. At first i used to get very fearful thoughts, but now that seems to have slowed to next to nothing, now all i get in the state of allowing is mundane thoughts. You know, shopping, things i need to do for the day.
This mind momentum is usually very busy in the mornings, and at night there doesnt seem a lot going on in my mind at all. All that seems to be happeing now is that i realise everything is I. The ego. It seems to me everything is connected to this I.
So what am i doing wrong, am i still meant to “allow” these mundane thoughts to keep arising? And where is this Emptyness or Nothingness everyone talks about or space of being, whatever they call it. I now seem to be aware all the time and i know what im feeling and why most of the waking day. but i dont get this emptyness or space thing.
All i get is this awareness of what im thinking or not as is sometimes the case, but to me all of it is connected to this I or ego. I must admit this I or ego is no longer as needy as before, and infact i dont seem to even bother when my ego is attacked. Its just a thought. But where is this space or emptyness.? What am i doing wrong, i realise by asking this question ive missed the pointer in the first place, i seem a lot more balanced as you said i would, but “space” thing im not getting. Maybe for like a few seconds and then I is back again.
Any suggestions?
Gunda, the state of “wholeness” basically points to an inner state where there is a sense of untouched peace felt as a great peace with great depth – this is sometimes referred to in spiritual terms as “nothingness” or emptiness. It’s simply your natural state of being without the momentum of emotional/mental energy. Some people experience this state as a temporary experience during a meditation, and it’s like a foretaste of this natural state of being. However, these foretastes are not really important, because they are temporary. What’s required is to let go of the momentum of emotional/mental grip, until the state of inner wholeness feels permanent in you. Of course, it is you, as the being (ego) who experiences this state of wholeness, so it’s that the ego disappears – the ego can never disappear, it’s the sense of “I”. The state of wholeness (also sometimes called nothingness) is when “you” sense an unwavering inner peace in your being – this happens when you are free of your egoic momentum, emotional momentum and mind momentum. I’ve explained this in the below posts
Living oneness (explains the misconceptions about the term “nothingness”)
ego-force, brain momentum and emotional accumulation (talks about the three forces of resistance that one needs to release)
I like all of the comments and the responses I read because they confirm the things I learned and still learning
The Kingdom of Heaven is located in the space between two thoughts. Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven and all other things will be added un to you. The scripture explains these thing but you (Sen) detail them bringing them closer to home. I asked the Universe inside of me for instructions and this Webb site popped right up.
Thank you so much
Sen, I just discovered your site last night and I am so thankful you have laid out a roadmap for finding inner calm ( I am a severe high momentum anxiety ridden adrenaline seeking gambling addicted child in a 37 yr old man’s body with high blood pressure and a desire to live a long life, yet aware I must stop the train before it kills me)
I stumbled across an exchange you had with TD from March 30th.
TD was asking about an acute example of someone faced with foreclosure if they dont come up with $$ in 30 days etc. He asked how someone who is really trying (and he seems incredibly knowledgeable about meditation etc) to find inner peace can also juggle the reality of that deadline. You replied in a detailed manner, and this is part of your response to him:
With respect to the 30 day situations you’ve mentioned, there are just two options available to one who is in such a situation 1. Sit and complain, fret, worry, spew anger and be miserable 2. Let go into a total trust in life and let go of defending negativity of any form. The first option creates suffering during every minute of your waking hours, the second option allows for an openness to life, and to see how things work out from intelligence of life. I’ve seen life closely enough to know that realities change completely when one lets go of defending negativity.
MY 2 QUESTIONS TO YOU ARE:
Regarding #2, letting go in a total trust in life…is that basically saying that if you can save your home ( and perhaps marriage/family), then that is great…but if you dont have the $$ to save your home, then embrace the major change that life brings (foreclosure) and look at that as an opportunity to change your life path?
And if your spouse is not accepting of these circumstances and perhaps blames you, then leaves you, then that too is a blessing since that person does not accept you fully, and why live a life with someone like that??
Thanks for your response about this. This does not describe my situation, but TD knows much more than me and his questions have some good logical points, I am really curious about the above 2 questions.
Taylor, a focused desire is a very powerful “signal” to attract the resources needed for its manifestation – it’s our nature, as a creative “energy” (life-energy is creative energy in that it has the potential to create reality through focused thought) to manifest desires. When we are faced with a “problem” we inherently desire a solution, like the problem of dealing with a deadline causes a desire in you to have a solution within the deadline, and a problem (or challenge) creates a strong focus in you so the desire has strong power of attraction. Now there are two options
1. You stay focused on the problem, and keep fretting about it, or get identified with the energy of “anxiety” and suppress your inner wisdom, and end up doing “unnecessary”, or counter-productive, actions, based on following some rigid (or fear-based) conditioning of your past, which do not create a useful solution or worse they create an imbalanced solution which just contributes to a new problem (similar problem as the past but with a new face).
2. You enter into a state of true openness, where you allow the fear of the deadline, you allow the fear of uncertainty, you let go of constantly obsessing about the problem (the openness to let go of holding on to the problem), you let go of complaining/fretting about it and thus fall in touch with your “wholeness” (or your depth, instead of being lost in the surface level pull of the mind’s fear towards the problem alone). This openness reduces your resistance, and hence makes you privy to allowing the solution that got “created” out of your focused desire for a solution to the problem. Remember that a problem automatically/subconsciously creates a desire for a solution in your being (you don’t have to force visualize anything).
The solution can come in any form, when you are in a state of openness you can be rest-assured that the solution is aligned with a state of wholeness. If certain realities dissolve, it would indicate that they were not really aligned with your wholeness, or aligned with the solution. A solution need not come the way your mind envisions it, this is because your mind can only have a narrow/limited vision and may not have the big picture which is present with the deeper intelligence in you (what I call the intelligence of your life-stream) – the mind can even create resistance to the flow of the solution because it does-not know the big-picture and interprets the movement as negative from its limited perception. So one needs to be allowing rather than clinging to the mind’s interpretations, the state of allowing always keeps you connected with your inner wisdom. Solutions do flow in, always, it’s inevitable because life is a creative energy and every problem manifests an equivalent solution – it’s just that sometimes a solution may require that you “grow” as a person, and certain events may be orchestrated for you growth (the mind can interpret them negatively, and hence you need to stay in a state of allowing, to keep yourself from being totally identified with the limited thinking of the mind).
hi Sen,
I have been reading this blog for the past 3 months. I has been incredible. Conscious allowing and finding the space of being was crucial in facing my fears.
It is always wonderful when i am being alone, I can easily slip into the ‘space of being’ and be at total peace with my thoughts and myself. All my fears and thoughts rise and fall easily when i am alone.
I am having a little trouble in finding the “space of being” when i am in the midst of hectic activity at work or when i am with my loved ones. Is this expected or should i be patient.
Please guide.
Thanks,
Krishna
Krishna, it takes time for one to feel a permanent grounding in the sense of inner wholeness (which is what the space of being is). With time you will sense this inner space coming more and more into the foreground so that you sense a “grounding” even in the presence of a hectic activity or distraction.
I think the tv show, 2 Broke Girls is a great example of how people can find and live their natural expression without quitting their jobs. One of the girls has natural inclination for cooking cupcakes, the other one has a natural inclination for management, together they work on their cupcake business without quitting their jobs (they are waitresses). They don’t complain about their jobs, they have ups and downs, they’re not chasing a rainbow their dream is based on their own personal realities (they try to turn what they already like into a business, so they are very aligned with their internal reality), they don’t focus on their lack of resources but they focus on building their business in baby steps and I believe these girls will make it.
I think quitting job for chasing a rainbow can also be a form of deluded thinking, if the dream is not in line with the person’s natural inclinations. One of my friends fancies all the time about her everchanging “rainbows” just to escape her dreadful job. Recently, she was seriously thinking about quitting and dreaming about following a degree in art in Italy. The truth is I have never seen her reading a book about art, yet she still fancied about becoming an art critic. I mentioned the fact that she doesn’t even like art and she easily changed her mind. But the truth is if she had ever followed her fantasy (I don’t say dream) and quit her job for that, and even she made it somehow, she wouldn’t be happy since it wasn’t her natural inclination in the first place.
I also have a friend, the proverbial “starving writer”. He focuses on writing his novel and the last thing on his mind is survival (his mind is busier with the characters). He used to work in finance. I don’t know if he’ll make it or not, but I know that he’s much happier than he was, although he is broke. But I think the priorities are important, for some people the security of the job is the most important thing and when they look at him they see lack and starving, what I see is a brave man, what he sees is his characters.
As to me, I’m an example of people who followed their passion but still couldn’t let go of struggle-based mindset. I always had a strong will, I willed a lot of things into existence in the past with lots of struggle. I was always proud of myself that I have never been a quitter, when I set something in my mind, I was quite unstoppable (I was very succesful in the areas that I had no interest in, which actually shows the amount of disregard for my true self). But Sen is so right that whatever you build from a place of imbalance is like building a house of full of cards, they utterly sap your life energy , require lots of energy to keep). Anyway, before I quit my job to follow my master’s degree, I was highly successfull, and making lots of money, travelling different countries (before I left, the CEO told me: name your price, I told him that I’m happy with my salary but I want to follow my passion). During the 5 years I worked in a 9-5 job, I was in a deep misery, there wasn’t a single day that I didn’t think killing myself (in fact I was already doing it by neglecting myself and heavily drinking when I wasn’t working) or quitting the job I utterly hated. Everybody including my mom was thinking that I’m a fool to quit the job that I was so good and well-paid (I got a scholarship and acceptance from a respecatable university in my country, before I quit, sorry for my English, it’s my second language). Despite everybody was thinking that I was a fool (my income was 1/10, able to manage a life with no luxuries), I was excited for the first time in my life and I was happy to pursue my lifelong interest. For the last 8 years, I was relatively happly and have completed my MA and Phd, I loved doing research and secluded life of the academy (it is in line with my curious but introverted nature).
However, following your passion doesn’t mean that you’re balanced and you’re not a fear or struggle-based. I was and still I am an imbalanced person and this imbalance came to the surface after I finished my phd 2 months ago. For the last 2 months I was debiliated by my acute social phobia (teaching requires public speaking), my social phobia have never been that bad , I totally closed myself off. I was supposed to be looking for the academic posts, but I simply couldn’t. Here I was 35, jobless, hardly pays the rent, “the starving academic”, the nightmare of any pragmatic person. Truth is for the first time in my life, I quit, I really quit struggling and I never felt freer. When I wasn’t even looking for a job, the universe delivered to my door a job offer, which was not made official yet (I guess it’s due to the indecision in my part). The people, who thought I was a fool to quit my job, now feel pity me for not having a job. Despite my hardships, I had never regretted my choice; but the last few months had made me a bit suspicious. However, yesterday something happenned, the moment I put my profile on Linkedin, my old boss added me. I remembered that they told me I can come back whenever I want, even the thought of doing what I hate again freezed my blood, I thought I would rather die, then I realized how far I’ve gone in terms of inner peace, yet still way to go…I think paying the bills is overrated, we are no longer live in a jungle fighting for our lives, one can even pay their bills by waiting the tables, but it is always about the choice, the freer better.
It’s great hearing about someone elses journey Asli! I think a lot of people on this site can relate to what you have written.
I’ve been looking for balance and ways to balance..feeling unbalanced for years, asking people pls tell me how to balance? i feel so unbalanced mostly..then a person pulled into my life and told me i am all about balance. and deep inner clarity. he sensed these. 😮 i wasn’t aware at first, and he literally used the words, ‘wake up’. and later, ‘let go’ and ‘trust’.
since then i have been waking up in many ways..realising that i feel most at home when m drawing when m humming inside..but when m overly stimulated drawing merely is a way to get physically and intellectually exhausted. ‘mental momentum is soemthing i can resonate with much. it’s like inertia of motion very very fast-spinning. i want to get to this space. this space where i can create with freedom with giving but not over-giving, if that makes sense. letting go is also something — m trying to work with. it does feel freeing but then stuff clouds over too. it’s like suddenly m feeling freer and lighter – then like a pond not in use sort of, the green stuff on the surface takes over.
this website makes a lot of sense somehow. it feels um pragmatic and sensible in a heart way. and there are not pix anywhere. just what’s said. even the things about inertia of lethargy and all. sweet being too sweet. etc.
I would like to read your views on how to deal with people that are severly imbalanced in dark energy to be specific. What I mean is the type of people that continuely question you with negative questions and energy, and will twist your words to fit thier narrow minded thinking ?
Bill, your deal should be about being aware of how they are affecting you. For ex, if their reaction/behavior makes you feel helpless, or anxious, it’s an indication of a certain sense of meekness in you (imbalance in light nature) which needs to get balanced, or if their reaction makes you feel very affronted it could be indicative of some arrogance/rigidity on your part (imbalance in dark nature) which needs to be balanced too – they have a right to their behavior, because they have their own individual journeys to live, but your experience, of their behavior, is personal to you and is indicative of your balance or imbalance. If you sense that your “reaction” to them is coming from a place of strong defensiveness or offensiveness that feels out of control, that makes you feel helpless or makes you feel negative in some way, that makes you feel “unstable”, then you need to work on your growth towards a deeper sense of inner freedom and balance between your light and dark nature. A person, who has an inner balance, wouldn’t take non-sense from people, but he/she would also not feel helpless/powerless regarding their response – a state of inner freedom is when you can respond without feeling reactive. How you respond depends on your state of balance, different situations require different responses – to turn the other cheek is not always the best response. “Negative experiences” are indicative of a required growth in you – you can’t control the “external”, but your inner experience is dictated purely by your state of balance.
I have read your post refering to competition almost creating nothing but imbalances, I was raised with sports and competition and find them almost a signature of who I am. The dark energy is coming from being associated with individuals (myself included) that can not accept losing, especially after dedicating so much time and effort to that activity. Feeling the need to point that blame, or find an answer as to why things didnt work out the way we wished it had. I get the impression/feel like I should remove all competitive things from my life entirely to aid in my growth. My problem is its not only something I was raised with but a large part of my naturally enjoys doing these activities..
Bill, a lot of people confuse “expert performance” (or competence) with “competitive mindset” – their idea is that if you don’t have a competitive mindset then you cannot come up with your A-game. However, if you simply look at all the true sports heroes, the role-models, they are all respected for their sportsmanship/temperament along with their ability for “expert performance”. Competence has nothing to do with a competitive mindset – in fact a competitive mindset is usually what creates resistance to a wholesome state of continued competence.
Your performance has to be your inner drive, it has to come from a place of wanting to improve your game, wanting to grow as an individual, wanting to give your best to the game you enjoy, wanting to do what it takes for you to feel congruent with your potential. If these things are in place, you will always be giving your best performance – after that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose. Winning and losing is an aspect of reality, and winning has its enjoyment, but it’s not the only deal, or the higher deal, of living – for someone to be a winner someone has to be a loser, after training for a couple of years a person can lose a race by 0.5 seconds and he may never be remembered, but it doesn’t mean that those years of training were a “waste” – it allowed for a lot of personal growth; In fact a loss can sometimes create a lot more maturity, in a person, than a win. Also, sometimes people remember the person who lost more than the person who won, because of the spirit shown by that person – winning does not define success and losing does not define failure, that’s just a very black and white way of thinking, everything has its place in the journey of a being towards growth and enjoyment. Your attitude in your willingness to grow, and your ability to take things in your stride, your maturity, is what is “permanent”, that’s what keeps you aligned with yourself (with your life-stream). If your motivation to train comes from a place of “wanting to win” (or rather, wanting to defeat others), it’s highly skewed because you are focusing on the “external” factors instead of focusing on your inner drive. Rather if your motivation comes from a place of wanting to live your full potential, wanting to enjoy what you naturally feel good at, wanting to constantly grow in your expression – you are working from an inner drive, and this is when you become truly “competent” without being “competitive”. Competitive is when your focus is “external” and that’s never an aligned motivation, it’s bound to create resistances, it’s bound to create imbalance of dark nature.
You don’t have to remove the “competitive things” you just have to remove the mindset of being “competitive” and develop the mindset of being competent as a means towards expressing your inner potential.
You’re right, its the external factor I’ve been so focused on. Internally mute almost towards what I considered to be a passion of mine. After breifly reflecting on this and doing this activity I have already found new light/more positive experience while doing it.
I am truely excited about finding this inner wholeness you speak of, my work at this point in time is in releasing the imbalanced energy within me (which is going well). You’ve given me an abundance of focused, balanced confidence. I can’t thank you enough.
Sen, how much distance from the mind do you think is possible to keep while remaining focused in this physical body? Because I imagine during phase 3, consciousness even has the option to “zoom out” of physicality.
But my real question is, I find myself generating some really good questions that i feel tests the legitimacy of what everyone says is happening. One goes… “to sit and affirm the thought ‘dis-identify’ is actually identifying with a thought that’s creates the experience of dis-identification”. Is that good or what? But is that argument one of the negative ego?