No matter how hard you try, it’s not possible to make the ego feel whole. The ego is simply the “me” thought-structure of the brain and when you are unconscious, of your connection with life, you take yourself to be this “me” thought so rigidly that you start feeling isolated from the universe. When you are born, into this world, what you see is the “outside”, the outside of your body and the outside of your surroundings – so your whole focus goes “outside” and creates a disconnection with your inside (your inner space). If you close your eyes, and sense your inner space, you can’t detect any “boundaries” – you can sense thoughts, feelings and sensations happening in your inner space but the space itself has no boundaries – see this for yourself. This is not philosophy, this is just reality, this space of your being is infinite with no boundaries (just like silence has no boundaries, only noise has boundaries).
The ego is all about boundaries. That’s why the ego can’t ever sense this wholeness, which is the natural vibration of the space of your being. To say the least, the ego has a shallow vision of life. All forms of shallowness arise from the ego. You can see how judgmental the brain can be when it’s seeing everything through the lens of its ego structure – everyone is a problem, everything is a problem for the ego, what’s ironical is that, in actuality, the force of ego is the problem. It’s like a man who goes to the doctor and says his whole body is in pain because anywhere he touches on his body there is pain, on examination it was found that he had a broken finger – it was not the body that was in pain, it was finger with which he was touching it that was broken and hence created the illusion that the whole body is in pain. The ego is actually like this broken finger, everything it sees looks problematic when in truth it is the problem.
Struggle arises from the force of ego
Because ego sees itself as separate from life, it believes it has to fight it out in life, it believes in the notions of struggle. What’s ironical is that the only reason you struggle is because you are opposing the natural pull of your life-stream, when you are in sync with your life stream nothing feels like a struggle. Action does not directly imply struggle, action feels effortless when it’s in sync with the inspiration of the moment, only actions that come from lack-based pull of the ego feel like struggle. No matter how much action you put in from a place of lack, it’s ultimately only going to reflect lack in everything it creates – the energy with which you do something is what gets reflected back from the results you achieve from the doing of it. Not understanding this simple principle is the reason why people struggle through several years in a hope that their struggle will one day pay off to give them an abundant life – they may even make millions through their struggle but they won’t feel abundant, simply because the lack is within them, it can’t ever be filled up by something outside them.
People who read stuff about law of attraction and then try to use their forced focus to manifest some realities are ultimately employing “struggle”. If you are really good at forcing your focus on a thought, it’s bound to take some physical form but the energy this manifestation will reflect will be the energy that was present in you when you were trying to manifest it. If your energy was rooted in lack, that’s exactly what this manifestation will reflect back at you. When you are rooted in the force of ego, an achievement may seem to give you a temporary sense of happiness but even this happiness arises because in the moment of achievement your ego relaxes its struggle, and hence gets out of the way, allowing you to sense the natural vibration of joy/wholeness of life. It’s not long before the ego force takes center stage again and start creating the feeling of lack – leading to a life of constant struggle and dissatisfaction.
The ego always sees the lack out there
You keep thinking that the lack is “out there”, you think the lack is in your physical reality, the lack is in your partner or your surroundings, but in truth the lack is just within you, because of your total identification with the ego structure, and the outside is just reflecting your inner lack back at you – it’s that simple. Clear up your inner lack and your outside reality also feels free of lack – it’s logical because when you don’t have lack within you, it’s not possible for you to see something through the lens of lack, and this doesn’t mean that your reality won’t change and you would just be stuck watching it differently – your reality changes, sometimes very dynamically, to match your inner wholeness. However, this is not a trick that the ego can pull off, though people do try the “fake it till you make it” technique where they are basically just fooling themselves.
Scientifically, it’s not possible for the ego structure to look at anything without the vibration of lack, not for long – this is because the ego structure itself is based in lack because it’s not a “stable” structure. You see, the ego force can start dissolving in power at any moment when you let go of fueling it, that’s how unstable it is and hence it’s always sitting in fear of dissolution. Can you see how strongly people defend their opinions – it’s a bid to keep strengthening the ego because letting go of this “defense” causes the ego to start dissolving in force. The ego constantly needs to feel fueled or else it will start losing its pull/power on your being, and it will use anything to fuel itself even the most miserable life experience can become a means through which an ego gains an identity and thus gets fueled – usually a miserable life-story is the greatest possession of an ego, it keeps repeating it to itself and to everyone as a means to fuel itself.
The ego’s need to show off stems from lack
When the force of ego is strong in you, it’s not possible to not live in a vibration of lack. So no matter how hard you try, no matter what you achieve/manifest, you just keep feeling lackful. You may even try to put a “pic” of you showing that you are having the time of your life, on your profile on the social networking site of your preference, but that’s just another means of the ego feeling the need to show-off to gather some sense of relevance – it’s all rooted in a deep sense of inner lack. Looking at your pic some other ego may feel diminished, thinking that you are having a better time and it’s not, and it can feel jealous, but that’s what delusion is all about. No strong egos are really having a good time, they just want you to believe that they are, but inside them they are always in lack.
This does not mean that you remove your pics, or try to be a sage, to show that you don’t care, because that could well be another egoic movement to show that you are superior to others in that you have transcended the need to show-off – that could just be another form of showing off. The pointer is to just see the energy of the ego force in you, so that you can start letting go of it, and follow up on actions that arise as you become more in sync with your wholeness.
It’s so easy to catch the ego force in action, trying to squeeze that feeling of importance in some way. There are also egos that fuel themselves through misery, they keep imbibing ways to make themselves feel bad, to complain about and hence gain some sense of relevance. When you start letting go of fueling the force of ego, you realize what a highly shallow and miserable life you were living by being identified so strongly with it. Imagine how incredibility limited your life-experience will be when you feel the need to show-off to others in order to feel good about yourself. To have a joyful life experience is natural when you are in alignment (when the ego-force diminishes) and one reason why you feel joyful is because there is no longer a need in you to impress others to feel good about yourself.
Let go of the ego’s pull to sense your wholeness
Wholeness is the natural vibration of your being, it’s not something you need to “create” or achieve – it’s something you just fall into. The only thing that keeps you from experiencing this wholeness, on a permanent basis, is the pull of the force of ego – which is always lack-based. When you let go of being pulled by this force, you automatically start coming back to your natural vibration of wholeness. When you become stable in this inner wholeness, your reality effortlessly starts reflecting wholeness back at you – in fact, during this process of transition, of moving from the force of ego to wholeness, all the incongruent elements in your external reality starts moving away from you, they start dissolving, and a new reality starts taking shape.
When you start letting go of the ego’s pull, despite all the fears that it projects to keep you hostage, you start sensing that none of the fears that the ego/brain projected are true. The biggest fear that ego creates is that if you let go of the egoic force your life will become dysfunctional (that you would end up in the caves) which is baseless because it’s like assuming that all life wants to do is sit in caves – in many cases the one’s who do sit in caves (a metaphor for detachment for physical living) are the “spiritual” egos.
What happens when you start letting go of your ego force is that your natural expression, which includes your creative expression, starts unfolding with ease, and life gives you all the resources to allow this expression abundantly. You move into activities that are aligned with your natural make-up – in simple words, you start living out the intention in which you were born and there is a deep sense of joy in these activities, they don’t feel like effort – neither do you end up as a “starving artist” (which is another ego created negative state) because life is not chaotic, it’s deeply rooted in well-being when you are in sync with it – when you are living out your natural expression you are always surrounded by well-being and abundance.
Hi Sen!
Quick question – I just started a new job. My old job felt inconcruent with my natural well being and while I continued to work there, I looked for other jobs – all while believing that I would find a job that would fit my natural make up. Well I did find a new job – and it pays better and def. fits my personality better. I have been there for about a month and things have been going well – except for yesterday something odd happened. My boss told me that when I communicate, I sound “too happy” and he wants me to “tone it down”. That seems very odd to me and I don’t really know what it means. My ego (obviously) didn’t like that haha! And now I am starting to “worry” about things like “what if this isn’t the right job?” “what if I get fired?” etc. Why do you think I attracted this situation in to my life? I was also told when I was hired that I would have a flexible schedule “as long as I get my work done” and now my boss is telling me that I need to work “8:30-5” every day. I’m not really sure what happened/changed. I have noticed that the other employees keep to themselves and it’s not really a “warm” environment. Just things that I/my ego are now noticing. I know I need to just let go of my ego based thoughts and just trust that the “right” thing will happen….but it always helps to get some perspective. Thanks so much Sen! You really are helping to change the world!! 🙂
The simple truth of life is that your external reality is always a mirror of your inner space, so when you attract negative experiences (things that make you “feel” bad within) it’s just an indication that there are elements present in you that are attracting that experience. Just use it as a feedback to look within. Can you sense some form of lack-based thinking patterns in your mind, or patterns of self-criticism, these are patterns found in many ego structures and they attract reflections of negativity from outside. The more you let go of fueling the ego’s negativity, the more it dissolves in force in you, and the more rooted you are in an inner wholeness which helps you attract a more congruent reality – a reality that suits your natural expression.
Beautiful article, thanks Sen
Sen Great article.
Why is it that the ego engages in ocd behavior. Even for the smallest things , the most minute details. What does it get out of engaging in this?
Robert, OCD is basically a sign that your brain has gathered strong momentum due to your unconscious focus on it (including its ego structure) – OCD is a sign that your awareness is totally pulled in by the mind and it’s a call for “waking up”. Egoic perspectives can become a source of obsession, for example when the ego feels obsessed with someone/something under the delusion that it needs that possession in order to feel good about itself or when the ego holds onto a fear owing to its insecurities – by ego I just mean the brain’s “me” thought or rather the brain’s perspective. When you start becoming awareness of yourself as the space of life, you start seeing through the delusions of the brain/ego and start connecting more with your wholeness – so you stop fueling, or being afraid, of the brain and hence its momentum starts ebbing away, which there is no more OCD.
Thank you Sen! Yeah you’re right….I know I still have many lack based and self-critical thoughts/beliefs. I also have the tendency to deny them by covering them up with “positive thinking”. I guess I just need to keep becoming aware of my negative thoughts without fueling them and stay trusting of life….?? I also need to align more with my joy….still trying to figure out what that means for me 🙂 isn’t it true that doing all of this, though, out of a “need” to get a “better reality” also stems from a fearful place..?? I need to be aware of that too…thx again!!
that’s so true. let go of pain. my ego needs to let itself go and stop thinking that the wholesomeness is out there. it’s right within me
Noch Noch
Hi Sen,
Could you let me know so what is the use of the ego then. Or all of it is a bad thing? should I pray for my ego to be fully dissolved and removed? Is there anything positive to the ego or its all a bad thing that should be removed.
Is there a quicker way to get rid of the ego please?
Thank you so much for you help.
The brain references itself as the “I” and it’s normal for it to do so because it needs a self-reference to lead a meaningful physical life. This “I” thought of the brain is the basis of ego structure, and by itself its not a problem until it starts holding onto to negativity of all forms, through narrow perspectives, naive outlook, rigid beliefs, conservative opinions, addictive attachments and obsession. Basically, when the ego (or “me” thought) becomes the dominant force in you to the point where you feel separate from the wholeness of life, it can easily go into imbalance – there has to be a space in you which connects you with your truth as life-energy, to your oneness with everything, without this space your perspectives will be too narrow and naive, because you will see everything purely from the lens of an ego perspective, without having a deeper perspective coming from your knowing of your wholeness.
The one praying for the ego to be dissolved is also the ego, so basically that serves no purpose. It’s not about getting rid of the ego, but about having connection to a space of awareness without being totally lost in the pull of ego/brain. The brain has its place in physicality, and it serves a valuable/practical function but if you are totally lost in the ego/brain you lose out on wisdom. So it’s important to let go of total identification with ego, and thus allow your awareness to connect with the space of life. If you just allow your awareness to be “open” without it being fully focused on the ego, it will easily connect with the guidance of your life-stream and you will get sense of wholeness/peace even in the midst of agitation in the mind.
I am so wonderfully engaged with the concepts you share and my ability to learn. Can you expand on:
“If you just allow your awareness to be “open” without it being fully focused on the ego, it will easily connect with the guidance of your life-stream and you will get sense of wholeness/peace even in the midst of agitation in the mind.”
I’m mostly aroused by the thought of having peace in the midst of agitation in the mind.
Thanks Sen,
Treeter
Treeter, when awareness is lost in the mind’s movements you are bound to feel unstable because the mind is always in a flux, and hence you don’t have a sense of space/peace within you. But as your awareness stops being so focused on the mind and starts sensing the peace of your being (the silent space in which the noise of the mind takes place), it soon starts finding a rest in the stability of your being. The more you become grounded in the space of your being the less influence mind’s agitation has on you – soon the mind’s intensity and agitation also ebb away in force, and it comes into a balance, as you continue staying in the space of your being.
Great articles. I have noticed that much of what we believe about ourselves and about our world, much of what constitutes the illusion of self is often fueled by avoidance, that our resistance to painful experiences and real life circumstances keeps us stuck in those very same experiences and circumstances. We’ve all heard the saying “what you resist persists”. What is your experience of this phenomena as it relates to the ego and how does the confrontation and/or acceptance with what we avoid affect ego transcendence?
Thanks,
Rob
Rob, the ego being the brain’s creation is rooted in fear, because the brain is a survival machine that’s constantly on the defensive or offensive in a bid to survive. The ego always tries to oppose the low and keeps trying to cling to the highs – this opposition creates resistance to life’s natural movement, leading to an imbalance within. Whatever you resist, you fuel it through your resistance and hence keep amplifying it in your vibration and reality. So when you become allowing of what arises, in an open manner, without being “selective” – be it a low or a high, you start coming into a harmony with life, and you start dissolving the force of ego movement in you.
Thanks so so so much. Every word resonates with wisdom. Its like light in the dark. You are a sage!!
Hey Sen, beautiful article I’m just reading it and I found a picture I would like you to take a look at and let me know what you think.
http://www.livelifehappy.com/the-ego-false-self-versus-the-soul-true-self/
Also is the soul/true self the same thing as inner wholeness ?
Thank You,
NJ
Greetings Dear Sen,
I am well on my way to freedom. It’s something I can sense. The
feeling of simply “being” is indeed a sense, it’s very real and I was so
detached from being in synch with my life stream for so long, it almost
felt like being able to catch a deep breath after so many years.
I really feel its just a matter of time before this force/thought
structure dissolves for good however the force of this structure
feels like its fighting back. I can feel the pull into the old conditioning
especially when an old thought comes up, I can instantly feel
the mind’s pull. I dont’t ever resist, I simply let it be without
identification/ focus. The thought then goes, however the pull
remains. This happens quite rarely now Sen, but when it happens,
more thoughts then come to me which cancel and eliminate
the pull of the mind. Sometimes it can take hours or even a day
before the “balanced” thoughts come which in turn reduce the
negative momentum of the minds pull to zero.
My question is this. Am I pampering/placating the pulling
force of the mind by waiting for balanced thoughts to come?
Am I somehow reinforcing the negative thought structure by
relying on more thoughts to balance out the mind’s pull?
Or is this all part of natural dissolution of this force/ thought
structure and all I have to do is just not be influenced
by the feeling of the pull of the mind and simply let it be?
Warm Regards to you Sen.
Pavlo, you can see how the mind has a tendency to balance itself when left on its own. Right now, there is still some momentum present in it, and hence it seems to take a few hours for balance to return once a momentum takes over, however this momentum is also releasing itself (because you are staying in a state of allowing) and hence the time taken for balance to return will also keep reducing. When the momentum ebbs away fully, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds for balance to restore itself irrespective on the disturbance created. So, you are on the right track with this, and you can continue allowing this momentum to ebb away fully.
Hi! I’ve been reading your ego articles and I’m super glad that you wrote them they’re helping. 🙂
I have a question though I have really bad emotional swings, ups and downs. Recently all of the stuff that I was good at (sports, writing, art etc) I based my self esteem off of…is gone. Injured knees so I can’t run/do sports, I’ve had severe mental blocks in my writing that I’ve had writers block for a year and a half, and I don’t even draw anymore even though I’m pretty good at it. All of the stuff that I’m good at I either can’t do or haven’t done because of depression/anxiety. (I have some mental illness issues). I have roller coaster rides with my self esteem, happiness and sadness constantly. I want to have more control over it….but my emotions are so severely strong it’s very difficult to keep them in check. I have emotional instability. My family will tell me to “stop freaking out so much, or calm down, stop feeling that way.” etc my whole life. My outbursts get stronger and stronger it seems with the more they tell me not to feel what I feel. but what’s cool is that in the last few months I’ve noticed some things that I do, and that others do in my family that are ego based. but the problem is that I can see what I’m doing is ego based but I can’t stop it, it’s so deeply ingrained in my brain to attack when I’m being attacked verbally or become defensive.
It almost seems like I can’t for the life of me seem to stop myself when I’m verbally attacked. I can’t seem to stop being defensive. I’ve tried to calm down, walk away, nod in agreement everything, but it just seems to feed my ego more…my anger more.
I’ve struggled with anger and self-esteem issues my whole life. I almost want to give up trying to find my self-esteem and slow my anger down. They just come at me like bulldozers, bombarding me with negativity and anger.
sigh……well these posts are helping me understand the ego more. I’m still not sure what this “peace inside the storm” kindof feeling everyone’s feeling when they’re lessening the pull of their ego.
I just feel like if i’m not successful, smart, pretty and better at something than someone else then I just feel lesser than everyone else. which equals ego.
I’m struggling with this so badly it’s bringing me to tears trying to let go of it.
I don’t know how I’m even going to get rid of most of my dang ego when I have such INTENSE and STRONG feelings about it. My emotions are as strong as 100’s of feet of steel, seemingly impenetrable.
I’m just so miserable though I want to change. I can’t stand it anymore, I’m constantly unhappy (some of it’s from my depression) but some of it is self-inflicted. I want to get rid of and cope with my depression as much as possible so I can be happy.
help please.
thank you!
Sarah: “I want to have more control over it…”
…and there is the problem. Read Sen’s articles about the state of allowing. You cannot control the defensiveness, the helplessness, the anger. But you do have the power to let go of harmful beliefs that lead to the conflict. Learning to let go is a process of seeing the problems and unlearning the patterns that keep you in them – as you grow, they dissolve.
You see plenty of imbalance in your life – recognizing that is the first step. Own what is yours – that is, be honest with yourself about your role in all of it. Blaming others or explaining things gets in the way. Honest reflection is a big step, a very hard one for somebody who is defensive or finds self-worth in accomplishment. But know that it can be done. You’ve found Sen’s website, you are sorting through your problems to find a way to be free of them, that’s a good start. Be patient – it’s not easy work, to be sure. But the reward is stability and contentment, well worth the effort.
Sarah,
When we start increasing in our awareness (such as becoming aware of your ego force) we start to go through a process of releasing our negative momentum that we have accumulated from the past. Also at the same time we become balanced in what is known on this blog as our light and dark natures. Light doesn’t mean good and dark doesn’t mean bad, they’re just the words sen uses to describe these two natures (I will give reference to posts about light and dark nature at the end). For now till you read more about them, you can think of light as Joy/Love and dark as Fear/Hatred. Each nature can cause a problem when they are imbalanced, for example too much love can cause someone to be a “people pleaser” or be easily used and manipulated by other, also when one is lost (imbalanced) in joy they can loose touch with wisdom and make unwise actions. When fear is imbalanced one can be afraid to step out into the world and suffer from intense anxieties, and when hatred is imbalanced one can become bitter and cold towards the outside world. There is more about the perspective of balanced and imbalanced natures in this blog.
These mood swings that you feel are imbalances in your natures along with high mind momentum from past accumulation. In order to release this momentum you will have to go through a phase of releasing this momentum, and its important to gain the right understanding about how to do this (I will again list articles be low that may be of help).
In a few weeks of release you may notice that things aren’t as intense as they are now and you may begin to feel a “peace inside the storm”. However, it will also take on average about 6-8 months to begin to notice the momentum has completely dissolved. Initially this may have to be done as a practice/technique (depending on how strong the momentum is) but soon it starts feeling natural.
Finally, once the momentum has dissolved you will really be able to put your attention towards activities you enjoy doing. Right now don’t worry about whether activities you’ve been doing are disappearing or not, if you like them after releasing your momentum, they will return, if not you will find something else that you really enjoy spending your time doing.
Some articles that may be of help:
http://www.calmdownmind.com/dark-nature-and-light-nature-in-humans/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/integrating-your-light-and-dark-nature/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/dissolving-the-resistance-of-ego/
(This article talks a lot about how high momentum operates and what can happen during phases of releasing the accumulation of past momentum)
http://www.calmdownmind.com/overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-practice-of-relaxed-awareness/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-space-of-being/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/ego-force-brain-momentum-and-emotional-accumulation/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/awakening-transcendence-and-the-return-of-focus/
http://www.calmdownmind.com/awakening-transcendence-and-focus-part-2/
Best of Luck.