Don’t Try To Get Rid of the Ego

Posted on by Sen.

There’s a big difference between “letting go” of the Ego and “getting rid” of the Ego. When you are letting go of the Ego it’s a movement free of struggle and has a sense of “compassion” or love at the background. But when you try to get rid of the Ego, there’s an energy of fear and struggle involved in the movement. You automatically start letting go of your Ego when you recognize your true nature as pure consciousness (which makes you stop identifying with the Ego). Always remember only an Ego will try to get rid of the Ego.

Anything you fight will become more concrete in you

The paradox of life is that you cannot become free of anything by fighting it. If you have an addiction, the worst way to go about becoming free of it is by resisting or fighting it. When you resist something you automatically become shackled to it. In the same way, when you try to fight the Ego, or try to get rid of it or suppress it, you are unconsciously enhancing it.

The Ego is not an “evil”, it’s just a movement of energy that got created out of delusion. The delusion itself was innocent to begin with. When you focus on the “physical” nature of reality, it’s natural for the mind to move from the perspective of separation and derive its identity from a “self image”. The Ego structure, however, starts creating suffering because of its movement of clinging or attaching to forms, because it gets its identity through its attachments or possessions. The Ego feels insecure because it constantly needs validation for its survival.

Instead of fighting the Ego movement, or feeling guilty about it, what needs to be done is to see through its “falseness”. Once you recognize that the Ego movement is just a “pattern”, which is not permanent or real, you automatically free up identification from it. Once you stop being “suckered” in by the Ego movement, you are on your path of being free of it. It takes some time (a few months in some, a few years in some), before you can be totally free of being pulled in by the Ego movement.

Don’t resist any part of the Ego movement

Anything you “allow” completely, you will transcend completely. Anything you resist will persist. These words point to the core of what “letting go” is all about. You will notice several “dark” patterns come up while you start seeing through the Ego. As your consciousness becomes brighter, it will shine its light on all the “hidden” areas of your energy field, areas where your Ego can seek refuge when it’s unnoticed.

It’s important to not feel guilt, or make it personal, when certain “dark” patterns in you start coming to light. You may see yourself acting out an “addictive” pattern every time the Ego feels diminished or inferior. Watch this pattern, don’t judge it, and don’t become completely taken it by it. Retain some part of your consciousness even when the energy of the Ego movement is trying to take over the entire space of your attention.

People find it the hardest to become free of certain “dark” patterns in them because they are not willing to consciously allow it when it tries to take over. When you allow something “consciously” you are not taken in by its movement but you get to see the energy in action. As long as you suppress the energy, it will not be able to leave the space of your energy field. Remember that none of these patterns are personal; they are part of the accumulated energy that stayed back because you suppressed it at some level.

It’s usually the patterns that you feel guilty about, that become the refuge for the Ego because it can easily remain rooted there. Let go of the guilt, let go of your judgment, and witness the patterns from a place of compassion, only then will you become free of its influence. Becoming free of the Ego is not a battle; it’s a movement of love.

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  1. Andy chauhan

    I find the more self aware you become, the more conscious you become of what is driving your actions. Sme actions are driven by drivers that fuel the ego, which then makes the ego stronger, while others reduce the ego.
    Also the more unbalanced you are as a person – ie you have a high level in insecurity, fear, guilt, anger, the more unbalanced and ego feeding your actions are likely to be. I think ego as a being, that requires constant feeding, the more you feed it the more it will grow, the less you feed it the smaller it will be relative to your true and pure self.

  2. Kamahl El Gabaili

    I have found these writings to be a great help
    And have effected my way of thinking rather feeling
    Even at an extreme level of anxiety has decreased

  3. Diane Martin

    I found this blogg by accident & was very glad I did. Thank you so much for your writings on here they have helped me a lot to understand ‘ego’ I am now trying to starve him day by day.

    many blessings


  4. Sunitha

    Hi Sen,
    I find your articles very useful and it resonates fully with my thoughts.
    I have been with your articles since Jan 2012. Thereafter, through out my pregnancy period, I was trying my best to release my emotional suppressed energy and to reduce active thinking which was successful up to almost 40-50%. Now after being a mother, when there is a strong pull of negative ego in me, i feel a restlessness/sleeplessness in my baby. Is it true or only my false fear?
    I sense a strong imbalance in light nature (victim mindset, self pity, guilt) and strong ego momentum in me. I see in my reality a lot of hatred, blame, criticism & judgement from others who are very close to me, which is too much to handle.
    While being in the journey towards finding inner balance/wholeness, how can we help our kids to do the same to create a desire reality in their life and to live a happy & complete life?
    Thank you so much.

    1. Sen Post author

      Sunitha, when you have an aligned understanding about life (its reality, like the presence of light and dark nature, external reality being a mirror of our inner reality, non-physical and physical reality and the oneness of everything), and are able to release the momentum created by your past unconsciousness/imbalance, from your current place of awareness, and thus find your inner balance, then you are in a position to “guide” someone from a place of wisdom rather than from a place of fear or rigidity. A lot of people make the mistake of trying to give “techniques” to the kids in the form of commandments to follow, like – “share with everyone”, “be nice”, “be humble”, “don’t show anger”, “don’t watch sleaze” etc, and those this way of teaching can give immediate results in terms of “training” the kids to follow a discipline or a certain “good” outlook, it also causes the kids to become rigid in their thinking, and thus they become followers instead of connecting with their inner wisdom – sooner or later, they may find themselves in a situation where their “techniques” fall flat, and leave them feeling confused. Living by techniques is a powerless way to live – living by wisdom (which is dynamic and unique to the situation) is a powerful/balanced way to live.

      The way you help kids connect with their inner wisdom is to guide towards “introspection” instead of giving them a ready-made outlook/discipline/technique. For example, if you see your kid being rude to someone, you can ask her the following questions (without an air of being judgmental or critical towards her).

      – Do you think you would like it if someone behaved the way towards you? (ask her to think about it for sometime before answering), usually the answer would be “no” unless she is not in a mood to answer your questions in which case it’s best to let her be until you feel she is in a calmer mood

      – What made you say that, or what made you behave that way? (just ensure you are not being critical or judgement, you are just being curious and wanting to understand her mind and are helping her in understanding her mind/thinking too). She might say, “I don’t like him” or “he was rude to me”, in which can you can probe towards what made her feel hatred to see if there was some insecurity beneath or if there was some arrogance, and guide her towards seeing it.

      Basically, this way of guiding a kid towards learning about “introspection” is a way to instigate awareness – introspection is a form of inner awareness. Also, you can teach your kids about “observation” – how to observe the reality around them to see life’s reality as it is, usually parents constantly try to shield their kids form being curious and try to give them some “rigid/orthodox/sugar-coated thinking” which causes the kid to block their natural curiosity to learn about life. If you notice, most kids are totally fine with some dark natures of life (like death), it’s just that the adult program them to fear it.

  5. silvia

    thank you for this article. it’s helpful.

  6. NCB

    This article has expressed excellent clarity of an intangible concept EGO. A very helpful article for changing self-image in a positive corner.

  7. Fingaladinga

    Maybe someone has said this already, but in my opinion, these are the sorts of things that should be taught in schools!

  8. Erik

    I like to go for long walks. But when I walk I don’t just walk, I shift my awareness. I walk at a regular pace(not fast, not slow) and I look at myself as not being the doer. Meaning, I see my body objectively as something outside of who I really am and think of it as moving on it’s own. I see my thoughts as they pop into my head without identifying with them or thinking that “I” am the chooser of the thoughts. When doing this for a long enough time my mind becomes quiet(on it’s own from not identifying with the thoughts) and my body starts to feel lighter as if it really is moving on it’s own. When I am done after 2 hours or so I feel expanded as awareness itself. I have a natural high that lasts long after the walk, and this is great because it’s not like when doing drugs and you get big pupils and look/feel messed up. Instead it is being one with the moment itself. Being super alert/aware with a deep serenity. Everything looks illuminated and beautiful and I go about my day holding this idea of my body not being myself and it stays for many hours. I highly recommend doing this over “sitting meditation” because you experience the beauty of the outdoors. You get exercise. It’s easier than sitting in one spot because you don’t have all this pent up energy that makes you feel really uncomfortable. It’s awesome. I call it “zen walking” although I am sure the term already exists. Oh, another reason to do it over sitting meditation is when sitting there are many desires that tempt you into stop meditating such as TV, internet, etc… Whereas when you are out walking you can’t really do anything but walk so it’s easier to fight the temptations and hold onto awareness itself and let it deepen. It becomes so pleasant after awhile when your mind becomes quiet that you don’t even mind even when you have been walking for over an hour or so.

  9. Erik

    BTW, I have found that when I do the “zen walking” that I spoke of in my last comment that it is much easier to sit down and do sitting meditation to maybe even deepen your connection to pure consciousness further after I walk(if needed or wanted.) Because you burn some energy so sitting becomes more relaxing and if you have ever done sitting meditation you know the hardest part is when you first start because your mind is so noisy. But after “Zen walking” your mind will have already overcome the noise(at least for the most part.) And it’s much easier to overcome the noise of the mind by what I call zen walking than to just sit right off the bat and start meditating. You basically go right into a deep meditation right after the walk.

  10. russell

    Yes indeed to war with the ego is to fight a delusion based on personal perception of just who you believe you are. The ego wins every time by the fact that you conflict. Up until my mid 40’s I had a terrifying fear of driving over the Hamilton Skyway Bridge or any high bridge. I considered myself tough as nails but would whimper like a wounded dog at the mere sight of this bridge.

    One day after years I had forgot about this bridge until I had to go over it to get where I needed to go. The fear flooded my brain like a jolt of electricity but this time for some unexplainable reason I literally screamed out loud, “This is my mother, this is not me.” You see I grew up with her fear and claimed it as my own. I drove to the top of that bridge, passing others instead of crawling white knuckled in the inside lane, and smiling from ear to ear at the view, and the fact that this horrible fearfulness had vanished like the morning dew in the rising sun. Even my wife who heard my story on my return, the next drive over the bridge, which now occurs almost weekly, could not believe the transformation. I got it, face it – let it go, and it’s gone. You made the ego and all its rugged edges, just say goodbye to its insane beliefs one fear at a time until you just let it drift away like a silly dream. Cheers All.

  11. Grace

    I did a Google search on “how to eliminate ego” and was directed to your site. The realization of falseness of the ego is paramount. Thank you for the post!

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