A Conscious Obsession

Posted on by Sen.

Life has an obsession towards itself, quite simply because life is all there is. This obsession of life for itself is what manifests into all forms – the underlying force behind all manifestations of life is this energy of “obsession”. If you try to suppress this nature of obsession in you, it ends up creating a huge imbalance in your energy, creating an energetic unattractiveness, or lack of magnetism, which manifests in the form of a “decay” of some sorts – mostly ending up in a “premature” bodily degeneration. The body requires the magnetism of “obsession” in order for it to function harmoniously. Obsession being a strong focus has as much capacity for harm as for constructive creation. That’s the reason why obsession needs to be balanced with consciousness, by balanced I don’t mean “suppressed”, I mean you need to bring the element of aware “understanding” to the force of obsession so that you don’t turn it into something destructive.

Now “obsession” is usually an untouchable word in conventional/conservative spirituality – mostly because most conventional spiritual teachings don’t allow the full cycle of realization and just stick with what feels “convenient”. A spiritual teacher talking in the favor of obsession could come across as being “materialistic” and lose his/her devoted following. The safer option is to give, or stay with, the “half truth” and allow a “half independence” or some sense of peace. Usually this half-truth is along the lines of asking you to suppress your desire/obsession in some way and become devoted to the “divine” or inner peace or “beingness”. Some people are content with this sense of peace, whereas others acknowledge that they still feel something does not fit in fully. At some point, if you are honest with yourself, you will always see through the “half truths” and there is a deep desire for the complete version. A direct understanding is to realize that “inner wholeness” is just the foundation (and not the end point) required for a free expression of life through you.

What is obsession?

Life-energy is an “attractive” force (that’s why it’s also called a force of love in many teachings) and its creations are based on this nature. Everything in physicality is sustained through this principle of attraction. The electrons are attracted to protons to form an atom, and this micro structure is what you see at a macro level in everything concerning life – look at the solar system and you will see how it’s similar to an atom, sun attracting the planets, moon attracted to earth etc, everything is “magnetized” or working on the principle of attraction. Obsession is just another name for attraction, nothing else. Since you are made of this same energy, you have this inherent nature of obsession in your heart and brain (essentially in every cell) – it’s the most natural aspect of you as a part of life-energy.

Your obsessions are part of your natural expression, and is inherently a part of your design – different people have different aspects of obsession. Some of us have one central obsession in life, and some secondary obsessions, whereas some may have a few central obsessions and a few secondary obsessions. Everyone, but just everyone, has at least one obsession – it’s impossible for a life-energy (or consciousness) to “exist” without an obsession, be it in non-physical form or physical form. At different points in your life, your obsessions could change – right now you might have an obsession for spiritual enlightenment, or understanding life, or understanding yourself, or for finding inner wholeness, but once this obsession finds completion you will naturally progress to a new obsession (the most you can do is try to suppress this natural movement).

What about “negative” obsessions? Well, first of all, “negative” is not an absolute standard but a mind perspective, and if we speak from this relative perspective then it’s true that a “negative obsession” that causes undue exploitation or harm is a sign of a lower awareness or consciousness. However, it’s all part of growth and we’ve all at some point been at lower awareness states (through our lifetimes or journey) and hence one has to have this absolute perspective in mind that different streams of consciousness are on different journeys and growth paths, and a certain pattern of “negative obsession” is a necessary part of their own growth and understanding until they are able to consciously evolve beyond it. It’s important to get over the mindset of trying to “unify” everyone, or create an “utopia” (paradise), and just realize that Earth is a ground for various streams of consciousness having their own growth journeys, and they need certain experiences (even if they come across a negative) for the growth/understanding they are aspiring for and if part of your expression is to curb their negativity then so be it – but it’s important to have this absolute perspective else you will just have a mindset of hatred/fear towards a part of life-energy.

Stay true to your obsession

I don’t write with an obsession for creating an utopian world or social reform, I just write because I enjoy this expression and interaction, this is not my particular obsession in any way. However, there are some people who do have an obsession for improving the society, and their actions may be deeply focused on this obsession – they mostly become leaders in the area of social reform. I don’t feel guilty about not having an obsession for social reform, I understand that it’s not part of my primary obsession, at-least not at this point in my life. Just to be more clear with this example, I would say that my primary obsession is with “intimate relationship” and a secondary obsession with understanding life (which was instigated largely by “events” created by my primary obsession). So, you can see how an obsession becomes the driving force behind certain growth; my growth in awareness of life is largely driven by the primary obsession. This obsession, when I was in an unconscious state of being, caused a lot of disturbance, which eventually lead me to be come to awareness, and now, from a place of inner stability this obsession feels like an enjoyable/adventurous force rather than a disturbance.

I would define “unconscious obsession” as being driven by an obsession while being in a state of a lack of inner stability/wholeness. Obsession being a strong force, in the lack of inner-stability, can create a lot of disturbance, or wreck havoc in one’s life. Be it obsession with your work or with sex or sports, when you lack inner stability anything can become spurious. A “conscious obsession” is when you have an inner stability and are living an obsession in all awareness. The inner stability not only allows you to be “resistance-free” towards allowing a meaningful expression of your obsession, it also becomes the ground which lets you work with wisdom and understanding, thus enhancing your expression.

Some behaviors common in people with “unconscious obsession” are

– The tendency to inflict “self hurt” when the object of their obsession is beyond reach

– A tendency to struggle, through strained/counter-productive/unwise/unnecessary actions, in an attempt to seek fulfillment of their obsession

– Using a “negative” force in the form of undue exploitation, manipulation, abuse or other fear-based/lack-based mechanisms to vie for the object of obsession

– Suppressing their natural obsession

– Doubting the fulfillment of their obsession, and thus living in depression

– Feeling guilty about their obsession (for ex, considering it as “less spiritual”), leading to self-criticism/self-loathing

The above are just some common tendencies is people who are unconscious towards their obsession. These tendencies inherently end up creating “resistance” of some form, which leads to a build up of negativity, thus manifesting as some form of imbalance.

The behaviors common to people with “conscious obsession” are

– An enjoyment, and appreciation, of the presence of this obsession in them, as a driving factor of growth in their life

– Allowing the expression of this obsession without moving through “struggle” based, or exploitative, means

– Not feeling guilty, or inferior, about their obsession even in the midst of de-motivating influence from the outside

– Allowing their life-stream’s intelligence to orchestrate the necessary events for the expression/experience/fulfillment of their obsession understanding that universe is supportive of their choice, knowing it to be an expression of life-energy through their physicality.

The bottom-line is that obsession loses its “negativity” and becomes a creative force when it’s aligned with in a conscious manner, with an understanding and stability. Always remember that there is nothing “lower” or “higher”, it’s just where you are at this moment on your journey – so stop comparing yourself with others, no-one is “higher” than you in any sense. It’s impossible to grow through the means of negative judgment or suppression – growth only happens through conscious allowing. “Growth” in itself is just a relative term, and not meant to label the place where you are at as “lower” (as a negative) in any way.

Stay true to your obsession, it’s the driving force of your life, it’s what will create a movement in your existence, and it’s what will create your growth. If you feel stuck in life, there is a good possibility that you are not allowing yourself to stay true to your obsession, through some form of limited thinking, or because you don’t feel stable enough to allow it. If you don’t feel stable enough to live your obsession, it’s important to first come to a place of inner wholeness by connecting with your space of being. Inner wholeness is just a “stable ground” through which you can allow a free expression of your obsession, and it’s a necessary pre-requisite for a harmonious/congruent expression.

Suppression of natural obsession creates a negative obsession

In many cases, the reason for a “negative obsession” (which is self-hurting or abusive to the outside) is because of the suppression of a natural obsession which would have created a positive expression. If you suppress a natural obsession some form of imbalance is bound to develop, and developing a negative obsession is just one of it. For example, a self-destructive obsession with drugs (or mood altering chemicals) is mostly out of a need to hide from the feelings of depression, or discontent, created by not being true to one’s natural obsession. An obsession with mindless sex could be the result of trying to hide from the pain of not being able to manifest the obsession for an emotional connection in a relationship – it’s possible that you failed once in a relationship, and got scared of allowing another connection (though you are naturally obsessed with the desire for a meaningful relationship) through the fear of hurt/pain, and this suppression lead to a negative obsession. It’s okay to have mindless sex as your obsession as long as it feels like your natural obsession and not a “distraction” from facing your inner space.

Don’t be put off by “perceived” failures, which are bound to happen in your journey, and just continue staying true to your primary and secondary obsessions. There is actually no such thing called “failure”, it’s just part of the path, a rug in the ladder, it’s not meant to be a deterring force rather it’s meant to be an “aiding” force that brings more maturity, understanding, growth and perspective that allows you to live your expression in a better, and more congruent, manner. There is a saying – “You can’t fail if you don’t give up”, it’s one of the most accurate pointers towards how to stay true to your obsession, it doesn’t mean you have to “struggle and strain”, it just means stay true to it in your heart, don’t suppress it, don’t close down on it – putting a lid on your obsession is a sure-fire way to end your motivation for living, and that’s when you start asking “what’s the meaning of life” (a person who is true to his/her obsession would never ask this question).

Awareness, and understanding of life, only aids in removing resistance to your natural obsession – it does not “kill” it. If a teaching is promoting you to suppress your natural desire/obsession, it’s way off target. Even a spiritual teacher, who claims to be free of worldly obsession, is obsessed with his/her teachings or with their “inner wholeness” or some mystical state, they just don’t question it because they think they’ve “reached” the pinnacle as per spiritual literature. Use your own faculties to introspect, contemplate, and try to feel your own inner resonance before following some “spiritual philosophy”, it could well be selling you a half-truth, and a sure indication of that is a sense of “this is not it” within you – trust your instinct and inner-guidance, don’t see yourself as being lesser, or servile, to any teacher or teaching.

Obsession is the natural force of discipline

If something is part of your natural obsession, you don’t need a “forced discipline” to maintain the focus or inspiration – it just feels like an inspiration, a supported movement, an effortless creation. It’s only when we move against our natural obsession that we need to use forced discipline to get our mind to focus on what it has absolutely no interest in focusing. In fact, I am sure, the very concept of “forced discipline” came in when some disconnected person saw a connected person be dedicated day and night to his obsession – this disconnected person started imitating the inspired actions of the connected person and since they were not natural to his being it required forced discipline. Have you seen kids wake up at 5 am in the morning, on their own, to hit their soccer practice? whereas you would have to take a kitchen sink to the same kid to get him up for his maths tuitions. (of course, there are just as many kids who do the opposite, they obsesses about maths and detest sports). Having lived a struggle-based life of forced discipline ourselves, we try to inject the same poison into our kids, getting them to disconnect with their natural proclivities – what we end up creating is just a depressed society.

Just understand that your life-force is fully supportive of your obsession, and the only resistance that’s ever created is from you (even if it’s under the influence of external conditioning). Depression is just a symptom of a person who has lost touch with his/her obsession. A lot of people feel extremely depressed under the influence of “spirituality” mostly because they get stuck with some incomplete/mis-guided teachings especially the ones that cause them to try and suppress their natural obsession. Another reason for depression is when the object of your obsession is removed from your reality due to “loss” and instead of allowing the force of obsession to attract a new/better reality you start trying to disconnect from the obsession due to the pain of memories – of course it takes some awareness, and understanding of this aspect of life, to be able to come back to aligning with a “conscious obsession” after a perceived, or actual, loss of its past manifestation. In reality “loss” is just an avenue for new growth, improvement, and new reality.

So it’s not about suppressing your natural obsession but about coming to a place of “conscious obsession” – that’s the balance required to channel the force of your obsession in a congruent manner.


  1. T

    As always another great read Sen…Re. Stay True To Your Obsession …your second to last paragraph reminded me of a saying. At about the same time i found your site i also found this saying ..”There is no heirarchy in the order of mistakes.None are more worthy or less worthy of Forgiveness” …i find it interesting how balance holds true in so many aspects of life.

  2. Geppetto

    How do we know when we have discovered a “natural obsession”?

    1. Sen Post author

      Geppetto, obsession is just another name for a strong desire when used in the positive sense which is what I call your “natural obsession”, and it can used in the negative sense to describe a tendency towards a certain negative behavior/thought-pattern which is what I call a “negative obsession”. A conscious person can release the momentum of a negative obsession and align consciously with one’s natural obsession. If you don’t sense any strong desire in you, it’s mostly because you’ve closed down on your heart, and mind, in some way, possibly through a lot of limiting/negative thinking which suppressed your natural zeal for life. A natural obsession is “obvious”, it’s a strong force of attraction that you feel towards a subject – the subject could be a reality you desire, a lifestyle, a body of work/creativity or a person. The obsession could be towards something non-physical like a spiritual experience, or towards something physical – one is not higher than the other, what’s important is to have a connection with our inner wholeness/stability and thus consciously allow this obsession from this place of stability.

  3. Jen

    I am new to this site and have been reading a lot of the articles. I am a single mother of 2 children back in school and I feel so unbalanced. I live in fear of my capabilites and am afraid to intimatley connect with anyone as my trust in people has been depleted. How can I get balance in my life and not live in fear but just live.

  4. Anu

    Hello Sen,

    I am definitely going through a phase of release.I am experiencing mild aches and pains. I feel little low in energy and tired.

    I went through health issues but I have been trusting my life stream and guidance have been showing up. It is not easy at times since minds momentum can be so strong, but I have been making good progress.

    Just wanted to share this.


    1. Sen Post author

      Allow for a lot of rest as the body can feel fatigued by the intense movement of energy

  5. FEL

    Sen, it’s been over 8 months since my last relationship ended and I still have this obsession for her. This whole experience has revealed to me my OCD nature where I constantly focus or obsess on all my past failures, experiences, awkwardnesses, etc. However for the last 8 months my main focus of obsession was towards this girl and the inability to get with her and facing rejection. After going through all the stages of hate, self-pity, anger, it has come to a point where my obsession has shifted towards focusing on becoming successful but she seems to still be the lack of not having her or to get her back seems to be the driving force in my mind. Knowing that this drive is coming from a lack-based position increases the thoughts of not getting back with her. I don’t know why my mind puts her up on this pedestal as if there is noone but her even though I’ve had plenty of chances to move on…I feel that her coming and leaving has revealed my OCD condition that I have been living with my entire life to myself. Is there something more I need to learn from this experience and that’s why I have yet to let her go from my thoughts. I have actively practiced watching and allowing thoughts and it has improved my mind’s pull towards her and other failures but I have yet to come to a place of being entirely free from the mind’s pull towards her, hence my constant obsession of trying to get back at her/with her being the driving force and driving thoughts towards me trying to be successful. Please help being some clarity to this. Thank you Sen.

    1. Sen Post author

      FEL, it’s quite ridiculous how one easily associates (or is associated with) labels like “OCD” and can possibly make it into a life-time of feeling powerless and limited. “Obsession” is a very normal tendency that all minds have, absolutely all human minds – this tendency is felt to be negative only when the obsession is about a thought-pattern/behavior/belief that makes you feel bad, that’s all – and we name it OCD, and call ourselves OCD patients having OCD nature, thus creating a negative identification for life. First of all it’s important to release identification from labeling yourself as having a limiting condition in anyway – if you get identified with this idea it’s next to impossible to ever move towards a conscious freedom.

      You must understand that “desiring” is our nature as life-energy – you can’t ever stop this movement. A desire always feels like a “lack”, in our physical focus, unless we see an immediate manifestation of it – this does not mean you have to suppress desires, it just means you have to allow the desire, stay focused on it instead of focusing on the absence of it (or lack of it). A strong desire is an obsession, and its a powerful and creative focus – it has the power to create realities, it can be a very positive driving force in your life, moving you towards a lot of growth. However, a strong desire can feel like a strong lack, when it’s not manifesting, and this focus on its absence is what makes you feel lackful, and this is normal. This does not mean that you need to erase the desire, that’s not even possible unless it naturally evolves into something else – you can’t forcibly erase a desire. What’s needed is to stop fighting this desire/obsession, that you feel for her, and let it be a “force” within you that you are naturally driven by – if you feel like taking actions towards a certain vision you have of “success” as a result of this force in you, go ahead with it. You cannot forcibly suppress/negate your obsession, what you have to do is to use this force to be the driving factor for your life and growth. When you become aligned with this obsession, consciously, you will sense a lot of positive movement within you – if the obsession is about this girl, then align with the idea that you can be with this girl, that she can come into your life. Once you align with the obsession, you become receptive of its energy and this energy is highly creative towards manifesting certain realities for you, which towards the end will assuredly manifest as a relationship (possibly with this girl or with someone who meets your attraction).

      When we try to oppose our mind’s obsession we not only curb the available creative force but we also turn this force “inward” which does harm to our body and disturbs our harmony. The energy should be allowed to move outwards, which can only happen when you align with it fully instead of opposing it.

    2. Jim

      FEL, OCD can be a very powerful debilitating disorder, and agree with Sen that all too often we become identified with these labels and end up energizing and perpetuating their existence. I suspect you have done something similar with your last girlfriend. You have become identified with attached to her because she makes you feel alive and complete; making life without her empty and meaning less. You likely have identity issues that need to be explored and understood. Once you gain a fuller, more balanced sense of self, your obsession with any girl will likely be reduced to the point where you will be able to enjoy more healthier relationships in the future. Hope this helps – Jim

  6. Sanjay

    Dear Sen

    I have a question about forced versus natural discipline. Say I have a discipline of doing a certain religious ritual everyday and I have been told that it should be done everyday for my overall spiritual development but that it helps as well for my mental and physical well-being. Now I kind of identify with the guiding principles and reasoning behind the various actions performed during the ritual. This and the fact that I am able to set aside sometime everyday for some kind of contemplation on the divine makes (driving force) me perform the ritual. There is also some kind of a fear induced by religious injunction regarding deliberate non-performance of the ritual. My point is there are days when I feel I do not want to do the ritual but I grudgingly bring myself to do it anyways and then when I start doing the ritual or somewhere in between the performance I could be totally passionately involved in it. The opposite is also true that there could be some days when I enthusiastically want to perform the ritual but when I am in the midst of my performance I could feel not very involved in doing it. This same thing could be applied for any activity like say performing regular exercise. Sometimes even after the performance of an activity the feel good feeling could sink in like in the instance of the rejuvenating feeling one gets after exercising and one could have a kind of after the fact wisdom that non-performance would have actually not been very beneficial.

    So my question is how in some instances would we be able to know our genuine interest or lack thereof in the performance of an activity beforehand when the feeling could turn the other way during or even after the performance of the activity?


  7. Willy

    Sen, how do you relate to someone having an obsession towards changing his physical looks (like d shape/leghth/height of some body parts)… Is it wise to allow such obsession hoping for its manifestation. Or is it a futile obsession?

    1. Diamond Jim

      I’m also wondering about this, as I am 5’7 and hate it. Being 19, there might be room for another inch, but that’s not really enough. It’s difficult to convey how being short sucks to somebody who is average/above average height and says “dude, stop complaining.” My 6’4-6’5 doctor told me I was tall enough, despite obviously never feeling inadequate himself. I already know the deal about “living from a lack based perspective” will be flung at me, as well as assuming I think being taller would give me a fantastic life out of current delusional thinking, but short men get less in life. I’d say that’s a fact. Once I get further in the phase of release, I may feel better about myself and my height, but I still want to be taller. Nothing will convince me to prefer what I have.

    2. Sen Post author

      Jim, it’s not really about “preferring” everything that you have, but about allowing the limitations also – it’s not about loving everything about yourself, but also allowing the sense of hatred/dislike that arise naturally. In that sense it’s not really about feeling great about yourself (the light nature feelings) all the time, but about also allowing the feelings of inadequacy/limitation (the dark nature feelings) – everything in life has its imperfections, there is always a contrast, life is a mix of light and dark aspects. There is no such thing as a “perfection” in reality, because that would be purely light-natured and that’s not possible in life – there are no perfect people, no perfect situations, no perfect realities, everything/everyone has some dark nature aspects to deal with along with the light nature aspects. The state of balance, in life, is when you can allow the dark nature aspects as freely as you can allow the light nature aspects, when you are not in resistance to either – it’s fine to hate the fact that you are short, but to think that your life would be perfect if you were tall is a delusion. You’ve been given some light-natured aspects in the form of potential/skills/talent/ability along with dark-natured aspects in the form of limitations, use your light-natured aspects to your benefit and align with your dark natured aspects.

  8. rabnayehdeek

    Dear sen :
    thank u first on that great article
    but i have a quesion, in another article of u under the title of “How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts?” u said that we need to let these thoughts go and not to give it any interests at all and in this article u say that we should never supress our obsesions so, is not giving interest to these thoughts different from suppression ?
    what i do for my negative thoughts that when it comes to my mind i quickly never think in it and supress it like saying”stop” to my self am i wrong now ? i also feel that fear inside my chest at the moment it comes to my mind
    plz answer me i really want to know what to do,thanks

    1. Sen Post author

      rabna, what I mean by “obsession”, in this post, is “desire”, your passion, your interest, your inclination, your preference – what gives zest to your being, what creates a curiosity, what creates a sense of “drive”. In this post I am not talking about “obsessive negative thinking”, I am talking about following your natural expression of having a passion in a conscious manner.

      As for your question about negative thoughts, by saying “stop” you are simply trying to suppress the mind and it’s motivated from a place of fear, which will only end up fueling the momentum of negativity. What’s needed is to develop the openness to allow your mind without fear, and allow these feelings of contraction in your body (it’s all part of accumulated momentum which will release in this state of allowing). You can read this post – FAQ on the state of allowing – for more insight

  9. Brandon

    Can a natural obsession be for the deep desire to align with oneself and live out their truth & natural expression?

    1. Sen Post author

      Brandon, yeah, as a being you inevitably reach a point where you feel the desire to know yourself more deeply, and it becomes a journey of self-realization and understanding of life.

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