Unless you know who you are “originally”, you can never really accept the conditioned expression of your physical extension (the body) completely. Who you are originally is “pure consciousness” or “pure positive energy”, which can also be called unconditioned intelligence or spirit. To think that you are this body is a limiting delusion which not only causes you to “cling” to this temporary expression, but also prevents you from allowing the full, and natural, expression of this body.
Knowing the eternal and the temporary aspects of you
The reason why there’s so much fear in you is because you are totally identified with the “temporary”, and have forgotten your eternal nature. You think you are this body and hence you become attached to it. The “dysfunctional ego” is simply a force that is created out of deluded thinking, the base of which is the thought that I am this body. The “Ego” by itself is not dysfunctional, but a necessary aspect of the physical expression, but it can become dysfunctional through deluded thinking.
When you think you are this body, you try to control it constantly. You try to be loving, you try to do what is considered “good” in your mind, you try to suppress natural impulses of the body, you feel guilty about some expressions of the body and so on. It’s a miserable life when you are constantly judging yourself and others. You seldom allow the body to express itself without resistance, in absolute freedom.
This truth is so obvious but it requires some amount of “observation” before you realize that the body is just a “conditioned”, and temporary, expression happening “in” you. It’s like a programmed machine that’s just expressing its programming. Who you are in reality is the consciousness that created this expression. This consciousness that you are is prior to the body, and it’s eternal, and timeless. The body is subject to decay, and eventual death, but who you are is not decaying or dying, it’s just eternally conscious. You are a timeless being.
The end of all fear comes from self-realization
The body will continue to fear certain things, the body will continue to have its likes and dislikes, the body will continue expressing feelings and emotions, the body will have its thoughts and its conditioned responses. A male body will behave a certain way, a female body will behave a certain way and so on. The freedom is that you are no longer identify yourself as the “body”, you don’t get your sense of self from it; you are not suckered to believe that you are just this physical entity, so you don’t make anything personal.
Nothing is “personal” and everything is “personal” at the same time. Everything is essentially just “you”, so everything is personal. At the same time, nothing is specifically “you”, you are not the body or the story, so it’s all impersonal. To the mind this may seem really confusing, but from a deeper seeing it’s all so obvious.
The end of fear is when you see that there is no fear in you to start with. Fear can arise in the body, but there is no fear in who you really are. If you can get a sense of how “pure consciousness” dwells, you will realize that there is no fear in it, there’s just an openness, which can be called unconditional love and everlasting peace.