What Others Think of You, Does it Matter?

Posted on by Sen.



A very common “pep talk” advice that is given in many self-improvement seminars is that you should stop caring about what others think of you, or stop paying attention to other people’s opinions about you. On the surface level, it may seem to be a very positive way of being that you don’t care about any negative feedback given by people about you. But in truth, you could well be living in “denial” of the negativity within you that attracts people to give negative feedback to you.

If you are getting some negative feedback from your surroundings it means that something in your vibration is attracting this feedback. If you choose to live in denial of it, and pretend that you don’t care about their thoughts about you, it’s not a positive way of being but just an “inauthentic” way of being. If you have the courage to be totally authentic with yourself, you will always pay heed to the feedback you are getting from the people around you and reflect within to determine what vibration/thought-pattern in you attracted such a response from the outside.

It takes a deep honesty to recognize the negativity in you

To blame others is easy but it takes a lot of authenticity, and courage, to look within for the patterns of negativity that essentially triggered the negative feedback from outside. It’s so common for people to blame their parents, friends, spouse, government, society, culture and their upbringing, for their misfortunes and sadness but rarely would one take the responsibility to go within and trace the negative vibration in oneself that is causing the attraction of negativity in their reality.

When we are emotionally hurt by the words or actions of other people we immediately get into a “self-pity” mode and start a blame game in our mind where we place ourselves as the “good guy” and the outside element as the “bad guy”. We want to live in denial of our own negativity and want to shift blame to others because it’s convenient for the mind to do so. But this approach, though it can give some false temporary relief, is extremely shallow and will never allow you to achieve any real “growth” or maturity.

Use your external reality as a feedback mechanism

The best way to look at your external reality is as a “mirror” of your mind. If there are a lot of negative elements in your “personal” reality it just means that there are a lot of negative elements of thought in your mind/energy-space. There is no getting away from this truth no matter how hard you want to believe otherwise. The mind wants to shy away from taking full responsibility for its reality and wants to somehow believe that the negativity is “out there” and that it has nothing to do with it. But the truth always will be the external reality is just a reflection of the mind – creation always happens from inside to outside.

If there is negativity in the external world of humans, it’s because there is negativity present in the minds of us humans who make up the human consciousness – but you as an individual can be privy to a positive “personal” reality if you can sieve out the negativity in your mind and align, on a moment to moment basis, with the vibration of positivity (joy/love/peace). Your “personal” reality is your responsibility, but it’s only possible to stand true to this responsibility when one becomes “conscious” of this truth. Until then we just live in a state of “reaction” to the outside – blaming the outside for the negativity in our personal reality.

You attract the response you get from the outside

Don’t try to escape your present reality, rather try to look at it deeply and see the elements present in it. Do you get a lot of negativity from people? Do you constantly feel exploited? Do you feel that people never understand you? Are people not helpful towards you? Are people in your reality criticizing you on regular basis? These are indications of some strong negative vibrations, in the form of thought-patterns, present in “your” energy space. It’s solely your responsibility to clean up your inner space of negativity by bringing an authentic awareness to it and thus allowing it to be dissolved in the light of this intelligence. Remember that it’s not possible for negativity to assert itself in your reality if you are not “attracting” it in someway.

In order to look within, and let go of associating with the negativity of the mind, one needs to become “self aware” in a very authentic manner – this is what is meant by the awakening of consciousness in a human being. When a human brings his/her consciousness to a state of self-awareness, to the degree where he/she can start becoming deeply aware of the mind patterns and start dis-identifying with its negativity, it heralds a new way of living which is rooted in wisdom, intelligence, well-being and grace that’s the very nature of the creative energy that you are.




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27 Comments

  1. Drusillah

    Interesting article, but I have a question and thoughts.

    When you say, “Remember that it’s not possible for negativity to assert itself in your reality if you are not “attracting” it in someway.”, if I understand correctly you mean that if I am not “attracting” negativity, then I will not receive any? If this is what you mean, this is not possible in any way. However positive and true to ourselves we may be, there were always be someone who is negative because of some other reason. Maybe they had a bad day and want to unload, maybe they mean harm, maybe they are jealous.

    And saying that we should take all the feedback from our surroundings and consider it is the other end of not considering anything. Some people just make comments that hurt, to harm, cause pain and belittle. Should we take all those petty comments to heart? This is what I’ve been doing and it does not help, it does not make me truer to myself. Recognizing who means well and who not is a better way, and not taking all feedback as a sign of ourselves.

    1. Sen Post author

      I am not suggesting that you to take negative feedback to your heart and feel bad about it. That would just mean that you are fueling your negative vibrations further. If you are rooted in awareness, you will be more interested in understanding your inner space, with the intention of dis-empowering the negativity in it, rather than feel “bad” about the negativity in it. Feeling bad about your negativity is like adding another layer of negativity on top of it. When you get some negative feedback from outside, in your personal experience, you will need to look within and see if there are thought patterns of fear/hatred (even subtle ones) present in your mind and see if you can co-relate it with the experience you are having. For example, if someone is being critical of you, look within and see if you are holding thoughts of hatred towards this person or if you hold thoughts of self-criticism towards yourself. It’s scientifically not possible for the external to reflect what is not present internally in your mind. It depends upon how conscious, and authentic, you are willing to be, to see this truth in your reality. You said “some people just make comments that cause pain and belittle you”, but the question is what makes you attract such people in your “personal” experience? There are many negatively oriented people in this world but they will not be present in your “personal” reality if your vibration does not attract such people in some way.

      Realize that you will not be privy to the negativity of others when you are tuned into a positive vibration. If your friend has a bad day and he/she is in a critical mood, and if you end up becoming a punching bag for them it just means that at some level, in your vibration, you were privy to such a negative outburst. If you were truly rooted in positive alignment, your life force would have ensured that you were not available to your friend at the moment when they were negative (you will always be at the right place at the right time). When you have a element of negative vibration present in you, you will see yourself attracting people/circumstances who reflect some form of negativity back at you (like being at the wrong place at the wrong time). Right now your mind may be getting defensive and is trying to produce arguments to deflect from having to really look within for the negative patterns. As you can see, it wants to shift blame to the outside. I understand that it’s not easy for a human mind to accept full responsibility for its “experiences” and it finds it more convenient to shift the blame to the outside – but if you really want to clean up all the negativity in your vibration you will need to take full responsibility for your experiences and be willing to focus within to look for the patterns of negativity in your inner space that are attracting your negative experiences.

      You cannot attract a frequency that you are not vibrating at. If you are not vibrating in a frequency of fear, you will not be able to attract people who reflect fear back at you. If you are not vibrating in a frequency of hate (even subtle forms of it) you will not be able to attract people who reflect hate based thoughts at you. If you are willing to be totally honest with yourself, you will notice that if you are attracting negative experiences, it’s always because there are some negative thought patterns present in your mind (thoughts rooted in fear/hate). It takes time and deep self-awareness to dis-identifying and dis-empower the deep rooted negative thought patterns in the mind – but if you willing to commit yourself to this path of alignment, you will reach a place where your vibration is mostly (almost 95%) tuned to vibration of joy/love/peace in which case you will always seem to attract people who seem to reflect this positive vibrations back at you. And your life force would ensure that you are not privy to people who are in a negative mood, it will take you out of realities where such people (with negative vibrations) are present or it will ensure that they don’t spew their negativity on you.

      Don’t allow yourself to be taken in by the defensive arguments of the mind. It’s not possible to make any real shift in your vibration if you are stuck in defending yourself instead of becoming open to seeing the patterns of negativity within. If you are attracting negativity from people, ask yourself –

      – What are my thoughts about myself? Are they totally positive?
      – Am I self-critical of myself from time to time?
      – Do I feel hatred (even subtle forms of hatred) towards some people outside me?
      – Does my mind harbor thoughts of fear or lack?

      If you are authentic with the answers to these questions, you will know the reason why you are attracting some negative experiences from people outside you.

  2. Anonymous

    lovely..

    1. Christie

      Once again, the nail has been hit firmly on the head.

  3. Christie

    Sen,
    I have reflected on this ‘writing’ more than any others you have conveyed; simply because You pointed out a deeper meaning and have uncovered more than I had first realized.

    Most, who begin awakening, begin to realize that many of their negative experiences were the result of ‘paying attention to what other’s think of them’. Many, if not all, upon awakeing, begin to see this correlation and then begin to create new beliefs for Self, instead of blindly accepting an Other’s belief about Self and Other. This is a tremendous leap and very quickly, if they stay true to Self, will change their immediate experiences.

    Yet, when You point out that if one is still seeing/experiencing Others in their life, who are still conveying these negative beliefs back to You, then You are still holding them within, is quite revealing.

    My first response to Your writing, was that I held the belief that “often we attract these negative situations to us for contrast.” In other words, even though I am conscious and know I am creating my world ‘most of the time’ in accordance with my preferences/beliefs, these occassional ‘slip ins’ of Others who are negative towards me, is simply a ‘reminder’ that this is something I do not desire in my life, and therefore I ‘need’ to re-focus my intent. In truth, I was not seeing that I am still the only One who is attracting these less than desirable occurences, regardless of the ‘why’.

    But, as You have said and I know with all of my heart, IF we were completely and truly focused/believed that ONLY GOOD FOLLOW ME wherever I go, then so it would be.

    Obviously, these ‘once in awhile’ negative experiences are occuring because I still hold ‘once in awhile’ negative thoughts/feelings about Self and Other. There is never any situation where our experiences are the result of an Other. It is always attracted by Self, and Self never betrays Self.

    Thank you and thank me!

    1. Sen Post author

      There has been quite huge shift in your mind’s understanding of how reality operates and this is exactly the kind of transformation that takes place when one is willing to want to see the truth above wanting to defend arguments of the mind that give away responsibility to the outside (through blaming the outside from our negative experience). This shift will now enable you allow awareness to get deeper into the subtle resistances and negativity present in the inner energy space and thus cause a dissolution of them, allowing more well-being to flow in.

    2. Anonymous

      Thank you!

  4. Sanjay

    Dear Sen

    Could there be a situation where one is not negative in their outlook/thinking but others do behave negatively (fear, anger, aggression and the like) towards them. I am trying to know whether it would take a positive person to recognize and vibe well with another positive person. And so if someone is negative in their outlook they might still give cold vibes to a positive person. So in this case doesn’t it become difficult to identify whether the external reality is mirroring your internal state or whether the behaviour from other people is just an abrasive instance of their own negativity.

    Thanks!
    Sanjay

    1. Sen Post author

      A situation where you are “positive” but you attract a “negative” cannot scientifically take place in this universe. The very base of creation is that vibration attracts onto itself. A positive vibration attracts positive vibration, and a negative vibration attracts negative vibration. Of course, it’s always easier to blame the outside and feel that there is no negativity within, but the scientifically its not possible for you to have attracted a negative reaction while being fully positive within yourself. You must understand that no matter how aware you become, there will always be some resistance present in you as a human being because you have a “mind” which is a survival machine and thus is prone to having fears. Awareness allows you dissolve the negativity, but at any moment its not possible for you as a “human being” to fully free of resistance. So there will always be some contrast that your mind sees in the reality which will create a trace of negative vibration in you, even in the most aligned state of being. A human mind is a survival machine and will be prone to having fears, and a conscious being know this truth about the mind and aligns with this part of it. Awareness allows you to reduce your negativity to a huge extent, as I mentioned in one post, you can reach a state of being where you are 95-98% free of resistance in some moments, but there will always be some percentage of resistance in you as a human being, as a physical from. The non-physical energy part of you is totally free of resistance, but your physical will always have some resistance. When you have more resistance your chances of attracting some negative realities are higher, when you have less resistance your reality is mostly just harmonious with some subtle contrasts now and then.

      You can look at your own reality – if you attract some negative reaction from someone, look within as ask yourself if you were totally free of negativity in that moment or if you were holding any thoughts of fear or subtle hatred towards that person or towards a situation. If you are authentic with yourself, you will always be able to catch the vibration in you that attracted a certain reality.

  5. Red

    I think i see what you are saying: negativity we encounter might be a reflection of negativity towards ourselves or the negativity we attract. However I think you are off base when you say that if you are free from that you will encounter no negativity. I have gone through periods of extremely high vibrations and personal freedom and find this is sometimes when those less secure with themselves attack you – because they don’t understand your freedom and it scares them; they are jealous; the are miserable and want company.

    So while I always try to assess my contribution to negativity from others, over analyzing it I think would be counteractive to finding peace within yourself. I think it is good to understand if you are attracting negativity but bad to put equal weight in all encounters and bad to focus on other’s actions towards you – especially if it isn’t serving you.

    Thank you for your thoughts. Glad I found you.

    1. Sen Post author

      A truth about physicality is that it’s not possible for the “mind” (the brain) to ever be 100% positive, no matter how enlightened you are. The “mind” (in all living beings)is a survival machine, and one of its jobs is to protect itself, to keep tab of dangers in the future, to work in a mode of separation, to have an ego, to defend itself etc By its very design your mind will always be prone to some fear, no matter how positive you are. If you claim that your mind has become 100% positive, it just means you are either avoiding reality or your awareness is not deep enough to see the negative patterns in your mind. Remember that who you are is not the mind, but the mind is just a creation you and the mind will always have elements of negativity in it. It’s not about becoming 100% free of negativity from a human perspective (because that’s not possible as long as you have a mind), but to move towards reducing the influence of negativity on your vibration and also stay “aware” of the mind so that there is a presence of wisdom in your actions at all times.

      It’s also important to realize that you are not a “separate entity”, as this body, existing independently, rather your true body is the universal consciousness, which includes the body of human consciousness. So when you understand that you are part of the human consciousness you need to understand that you will always be privy to negativity as long as there is negativity in the human consciousness as a whole. What’s important is how you “respond” to the negativity that comes into your reality – if you blame others it indicates a negative focus, if you blame yourself that’s a negative focus too, but if you allow a wisdom to operate by staying as a space of awareness, rather than move through the “reactive” impulses of the mind, you will find yourself taking the right action in the moment and also staying free of the “influence” of negativity on your vibration. Negativity is not “personal” in one sense because your true being is “pure positive” already – negativity is only an element that’s present in physicality because of the presence of the “mind”. Also recognize that negativity has a value from the absolute perspective of consciousness because it’s only through negativity that positive can know itself (I’ve given a deeper insight on this in the post – the value of negativity)

      The simple truth of creation is that it works on the basis of the law of attraction which says “positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative”, and as long as there is negativity in the human consciousness you will be privy to it in some way because you are part of this consciousness – it’s part of who you are, you are not just an individual entity. And the truth is that there will always be negativity present in the physical realm because the “mind” can never become 100% positive under any circumstance, in the individual or the collective, because its a survival machine by its very design. It’s all about bringing the wisdom of awareness to the negativity in the mind, to ensure you don’t get too influenced by its negativity, rather than work towards some unnatural/unrealistic goal of making the human mind 100% positive.

      Another truth you need to align with is that your “personal experience” does not come from what happens on the outside but it comes from the way you “react” within, or respond within, to the outside. As they say “it’s not possible for someone to insult you, or make you feel bad, without your permission”, in other words if you feel insulted or offended or feel bad within, it shows the insecurity in you even though you may claim that it’s the outside person who made you feel that way – experience is always a “personal deal”, you create your experience by the way you respond. So if you felt angry, offended, ridiculed, fearful, resentful or sad because of the behavior of someone outside you, is it not a pointer to your own inner insecurity? If you were totally secure within would you really feel bad about someone criticizing you or putting you down? However, as I said the human mind is prone to some negativity, and no human mind can ever be 100% positive, no human mind can ever be 100% secure in itself, there will always be some insecurity, some fears, some defensiveness. It’s important to allow this aspect of your humanity and not judge yourself for it, but it’s also important to bring a conscious awareness to it and allow yourself to operate through a place of “wisdom” rather than from a place of reaction. The deeper you grow in awareness the more stable you feel in your being and less influenced you will be by the negativity of the mind (thus allowing a positive experience of life), knowing that the mind will always have elements of negativity in it and there will always be elements of negativity in your reality in some form or the other.

  6. Drusillah

    Wow, I am impressed. I really did not expect such a detailed answer to my question Sen 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to answer.

  7. Christie

    Sen,
    Would you be so kind as to offer your explanation as to how a 3 month old baby attracts severe sexual abuse from it’s biological father, repeatedly?
    Thank you,
    Christie

    1. Sen Post author

      Christie, The example you gave in your question, about child abuse, is purely the manifestation of negativity in an unconscious/imbalanced mind of the father who is perpetrating the abuse. The child’s brain is not developed enough to have a consciousness, which causes the child to not have a choice towards attracting a positive reality of choice. The child in the mother’s womb, is just as unconscious, and imbibes all the negative load of the mother and the negative vibration in the environment around. After birth, its body is still loaded with that negative content because it does not have the “consciousness” to release the negativity. So basically the child, in this unconscious state of being, becomes a point of attraction for negative realities, owing to the negative energy content it imbibed from its environment (starting from the mother’s womb). The abuse is the manifestation of the imbalanced negativity in the father, and the child was simply an unconscious component involved in this negative manifestation. You can see this as being unfair, but it’s purely a manifestation of negativity present in the human consciousness that we are a part of. The more conscious we become, the less severe the negativity that we produce. A conscious father, who is in alignment with his wholeness, would not perpetrate abuse on the child or the mother to start with, he would not create toxic negativity in the environment in which the child is born. Also a conscious mother would not be rooted in negative thinking and generating negative energy out of these thoughts that directly affects the child that’s taking birth, thus allowing for a positive environment in which the child is born.

      The natural vibration of life energy is “wholeness”, but the human mind has the capacity to deviate from this wholeness and become rooted in negativity out of unconscious imbalance. This vibration of inner negativity further creates negativity in the external reality. The human population, presently, has a lot of unconscious negativity in it which causes the manifestation of negative realities for humans in the form of – deprivation and violence, abuse of all forms is a manifestation/product of unconscious imbalance towards negativity. In the absence of “consciousness” in the mind, it’s not possible to make a conscious choice towards aligning with a positive reality, in which case the living being simply lives in an unconscious manner attracting realities unconsciously.

      Ask yourself if you remember the first year of your life, probably you have no clue what you did, or how you lived for the first year of your life. This is because the brain does not have any element of consciousness/awareness in it during these starting years, because the brain is yet to develop fully. In fact, a lot of people have very little awareness about the first 20 years of their life, it’s as if they were living in a daze. When the brain lacks awareness, it does not have the capacity to make a “conscious” choice towards positive alignment – so basically, during this phase you are just unconsciously imbibing from the environment, living in a daze. Some people live in this unconscious manner for their whole life. When one is unconscious, one can easily imbibe the negativity in human consciousness if that’s what’s the predominant vibration in the environment in which one is born. It’s only as we grow up, and our brain develops the power of awareness, that we truly can make a choice in how we shape our reality. When we are unconscious we have no real choice in the realities that we become a part of.

      On a side note – You may also want to look within yourself to see if you are holding on to a lot of anger, because a vibe of anger is very evident in your words. To hold on to a vibration of anger causes you to resist the flow of well-being from your life-stream, it’s important to let go of this anger and open up to allowing your life-stream to flow freely through you which will allow you to be a channel that brings well-being and wholeness into your external reality. You have this choice because now you have a strong awareness, but it’s upto you whether you make a choice towards alignment – defending negativity will only keep you from aligning with your life-stream.

  8. Christie

    You are correct in sensing the anger I am currently experiencing, which is primarily my innate warning bell/intuition when I am in the presence of negatively oriented beings/entities who are misleading others.

    As to my question, I was already aware of the answer as to ‘why’. Your explanation does not take into accout the Soul’s pre-incarnative plan for spiritual growth/evolution/expansion.

    Your answer to my question was most revealing about your true intent and your polarization, and I do thank you as all interactions/relationships with All, are always lessons and there are never any mistakes.

    This was simply an exercise in discernment.
    Be Well.

    1. Sen Post author

      Christie, It’s true that light cannot know itself without the dark, and hence the very design of the human mind allows for the possibility of being lost in negativity unless one becomes aware, and awakens out of it allowing a recognition of their true nature – what you call “spiritual evolution”. So in one sense, negativity is intentionally a “possibility” created in physicality as a part of the life’s (or soul’s) intention to experience physical life – to know love one needs to know hatred, to know joy one needs to know fear. However, scientifically, the only reason a stark negative reality (a reality where one experiences unnecessary suffering) gets created is owing to the negativity in the human being(s) involved in the creation of it. One can say that since the humans involved did not have any level of awareness in them, it’s not really their fault, which is true – when one is unconscious there is no choice. The vibration of life is wholeness, and when one becomes conscious, it’s natural to align with wholeness – one does not create stark negative realities from a place of wholeness, this is what growth is about. Some negativity will always be there as a part of physical life, but a lot of unnecessary negativity can be erased as humans become more aware.

      Negativity of any form is a creation of low vibration in the body/mind, however some of the negativity is part of being physical, what I would call “necessary negativity” while some is totally unnecessary – for example, hunger is a low vibration drive, it creates a sense of lack in the body, but it’s a “necessary negative” for the experience of physicality. Some of us kill plants, some of us kill animals, to eat, this is a necessary negative that’s required to survive and life-energy is compatible with our intention in providing sources of food that we can eat and satiate our hunger with. But the question is, whether child abuse of any form is a necessary negative, wisdom would say it’s not and that abuse is purely a creation of an imbalance towards hatred/fear. As we evolve, as human consciousness, we develop more power of understanding as our brains have more awareness, and thus we stop creating realities of unnecessary negativity, and reduce the intensity of negativity in human consciousness. It’s not the soul that wants to come and suffer, rather it’s the negativity that’s being created in human consciousness (out of a lack of awareness) that’s creating the unnecessary negative realities. The more aware humans become, the less intense the negativity that gets perpetrated in the human consciousness. From an absolute perspective, nothing really matters, because this is just an eternal play of life, and all physical forms are fleeting expressions. From a relative perspective, it does matter if we create negative realities or positive ones. And human consciousness per se benefits from the awareness of every single human being.

      Also, if you are authentic, and honest, with yourself, you will sense that a lot of the anger created in the mind is mostly an indication of your own inner unhappiness, or disconnection, rather than your innate warning bell about others.

  9. Jo

    Hi Sen
    Does that mean that if a child is abused in any way it has no way of stopping it because of the negativity it holds, until it reaches an age to be conscious?
    If conscious people came into the child’s life would they be able to help the child in any way feel more positive and therefore attract a more positive life?
    Thanks
    Jo

    1. Sen Post author

      Jo, as humans evolve towards becoming more aware (as the aspect of awareness increases in the human brain), we are less likely to create starkly negative realities. Human consciousness as a whole benefits from each human who becomes aware and aligns with their life-stream, because they become channels that allow more awareness to come in and also allow for well-being in the external reality. If you look at human consciousness as “one body” you will realize that the more humans that come into harmony that less negativity that’s present in the body as a whole, and the more well-being that’s present in the body. Human forms that take birth in a largely aligned human consciousness are not likely to go through abuse, because they will not have unconsciously imbalanced humans in their environment, also they will be brought up by conscious humans which ensure that they stay aligned with their life-stream. In the presence of unconsciousness, there is no choice with respect to our behavior because there is no awareness to make a conscious alignment, hence there is no real wisdom operational. The more conscious human beings that are around, the more likely it is for abuse to keep reducing, because human consciousness as a whole is connected.

  10. Jo

    Hi Sen
    Am I right in understanding that the more conscious people who are in the environment of an abused child the more chance that they can be a part of helping that child become and stay aligned with their life-stream.
    Thanks
    Jo

    1. Sen Post author

      That’s true, as more humans become aware the less chance of perpetrating stark negativity and the more chance of bringing other humans into alignment.

  11. Jo

    Thank you Sen.

  12. FEL

    Sen, thank you for your wisdom as your insights have helped me awake from years of mental/emotional/torture through being aware of the mind and disassociating with it. I have recently went though an episode of bliss and relief once I realized that I am not the mind and as I started becoming more conscious. I was filled with negative energy as I had suppressed my emotions and ego (good and bad thoughts) for many month leading to this episode. Now that I am at a more stable conscious state, I fear that I don’t have the will power to continue staying conscious and feel that I will regress as thoughts of lack of connection which then leads to thoughts of fear of not being important enough still persist. However I have learned to channel these shortcomings as positive fantasies and speculations I how I will obtain them. So my struggle now is whether I show allow these positive fantasy thoughts (which are still thoughts and goes against my knowledge that the mind is not the real me) or whether I should consciously look at them and analyze them in the hopes of them leaving me. I believe that the next step to awakening is to let go or surrender to the life force and let it guide me but I know that I cannot get there until I overcome these aforementioned obstacles. Your help and guidance is much appreciated.

    1. Sen Post author

      Fel, the thought that “I cannot let go until I overcome these obstacles” is what is actually keeping you from being relaxed and open. There is no need for you to figure out your mind’s thoughts, just let the mind be and let it do what it’s doing without putting your “effort” into it – let the mind has its effortless movement. If you stop trying to sort out your mind, it will automatically start sorting itself out because without your interference it has a direct connection with life’s intelligence. So what’s needed is for you to let the mind be and stay relaxed, this is what a state of openness is – as long as you think that your involvement is needed to sort out the mind you will stay in the a loop of struggle, the moment you step out of the way the mind gets sorted out on its own. It’s not about “trying” to be conscious/aware, it’s not about trying to be positive, it’s not about “trying” at all, it’s about letting go of your constant interference with the mind and thus letting it access life’s intelligence.

  13. Chetana

    Hi Sen,

    The world surrounding me including family, friends, past work colleagues and the community around are fun, social, supportive and friendly. This sharply contrasts with the experience i have with my husband – it is very much conflict oriented and in the light of his bipolar disorder diagnosis it makes sense. I want to move from this negative experience to a positive one and until very recently resisted the idea of leaving my husband. But where i stand today, I am aware of my fears and concerns of being a single mom but welcome this transformation if that is the way forward. I am becoming increasingly open to the solution that life will bring and is bringing to my life. I am at loss to understand as to how i could attract so much negativity in one area/relationship of my life when my adult experience in general has been light and easy overall. But taking your advice of not spending time analysing why I am learning to just acknowledge it and let go. Thanks again for all the wonderful guide you have been and continue to be.

    In gratitude.

  14. FEL

    Thank you Sen.

  15. Bill

    Thank you Michael and Lander, I should say that this release phase has me extremely emotional at times, so maybe i should refrain from posting for a while lol.
    After reading your words Michael I can not only relate almost identically but in all honesty i am noticing and just being aware of the dark thoughts rattling around and really improving on not identifying with them, (which i am hoping will stop them from happening at all in the furutre) while doing so i can feel stability grow almost simultaneously. I feel I am steadily removing myself from the band wagon views of what’s the cool way to act or be and just now being able to shine light on who i really am. I find it imposible to beleive people like Tolle and others have been brought into complete inner wholeness over night!! Thanks again for your support guys!

    1. Michael

      Bill – Post whenever you feel like commenting on something or asking a question to somebody, don’t let your emotions dictate that. You can say that again, I was crying under a pillow a few days ago, it’s not a very pleasant phase to go through. If you can spare the $100, I highly recommend you check out BrainEv. It’s helpful in bringing up emotions you may not consciously allow, so it should speed the overall process up.

      The people who are brought into wholeness overnight are extremely rare and most of the time, they are people who’ve been chipping away at it for quite a while, then have some revelation/giant transition moment one day.

      Just some helpful advice – don’t think you’re regressing if you feel some big progress one day and then feel like garbage the next day. It’s just that there’s more stuff coming up to be released. I had a big revelation of “nothing in the world can fulfill me” a few days ago and then it’s gotten “weaker” the past few days. It’s not regressing, it’s just getting “piled on” by everything else coming up.

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