I talked about the resistance created by the force of ego, towards your life-stream, in this post – dissolving the resistance of ego. The ego is obviously not very interested in all the talk about its dissolution and mostly just wants to skip such understandings. It’s more interested in its sustenance than its dissolution. However, the force of ego is what fuels all the negativities in the brain, so it’s the root cause of all resistance and suffering. The ego wants to feel whole (happy) all the time but its very foundation is based in lack and hence it cannot ever feel happy for long. In fact, the way ego defines happiness itself is a based in a sense of lack where it associates happiness purely with acquiring something/someone. That’s not what happiness is, it’s not a gift that you get by acquiring something, happiness is the very vibration of your being – it’s not something you achieve, it’s something which you are. It’s the force of ego that prevents you from touching base with your natural vibration of wholeness.
It’s not about getting rid of the ego, altogether, it’s about deconstructing its “pull” or force, so that it does not have a disturbing influence on your being. The ego structure is necessary for physical purposes, and has a practical value in the brain, and it will always be there. What’s required is to dissolve its force in you so that you are not a prisoner to the ego. Are you aware enough to realize that the ego is never going to be happy for long? Are you still holding onto some deluded imagination that one day you will attract some desired reality that will make the ego happy forever? If so, it just means you’ve not seen physical reality clearly enough, and rest assured, as awareness grows, you soon will.
Ego is based in lack
The ego structure of the brain is created through “addition” of identities, life-story, memories, achievements, possessions and beliefs. Since the ego is always trying to add to itself, it never feels complete – it never feels stable, it’s always changing, sometimes it feels diminished, sometimes it feels exalted, sometimes it feels important, sometimes it feels worthless, sometimes it feels like a winner, sometimes it feels like a loser. Hence, intrinsically, the ego is unhappy most of the time, and even its happiness is just unhappiness waiting to happen – have you noticed how your ego’s excitement turns into depression given sometime? People who live purely identified with the ego are extremely unstable, unpredictable, shallow, moody and agitated. Also, since the ego is a lack-based construct, and if you are totally identified with it, you naturally attract a lack based reality all the time.
You basically have two options in the way you live your life
1. You can live a life dedicated to constantly making the ego structure feel good, suffering every time the ego feels bad and being afraid of life because the ego feels so vulnerable
2. You can let go of the ego, and live freely in the flow of your life-stream, living your natural expression
Any reasonable person would take the second choice. When I say let go of the ego, I don’t mean “get rid” of the ego, I just mean let go of fueling it. Let the brain have its ego structure, you don’t have to be lost in identification with it, just let it be and it won’t have any negative influence on your being. How long does it take to realize the dysfunction of living identified with the ego? For someone who develops a strong awareness, it just takes a couple of weeks to see through this dysfunctional way of living. However, people with a low level of awareness have no choice but to live identified with the ego because there is no space within them to “watch” its dysfunctional movement.
The ego has a way of attaching itself to everything, including the inherent desires that arise in you as your natural expression. It attaches itself to these desires and starts feeling impatient and lackful about not having them already. It starts craving and feeling needy of the desired reality, and starts living in a delusion that it will feel whole only when the desired reality manifests. This very thinking becomes a huge resistance to allowing the manifestation of the desired reality, and hence increases the sense of lack in the ego, which just makes it more needy and desperate. It’s a cycle of lack and neediness that starts perpetuating, attracting highly incongruent and negative realities instead of allowing the desired reality that was the natural expression of this physical expression that you are.
Life helps deconstruct the ego
Your life is your greatest teacher, if you allow it to teach you. If you are a good student you will learn easily what life is teaching you, but if you are a hard-headed student you will keep repeating your mistakes without any growth or learning. To be a good student of life, you need to have some awareness, so that you can observe what’s happening in you and around you. It’s easy to see that the ego does not really fit in with life’s vibration, the ego has a vibration of lack/negativity whereas life has a vibration of wholeness/joy. So the vibration of ego does not match the vibration of life, and hence they are always at odds – however, which do you think is the bigger force? If you support the force of ego, you can get opposed to pull of life, and it’s not the long before you start feeling the suffering of this disconnection.
You will notice that when the ego has a strong hold in you, you keep attracting life situations that help the deconstruction of the ego (scientifically, the explanation for this happening is that the vibration of ego is based in lack and hence it attracts realities of lack which directly causes suffering to the ego and hence help its deconstruction). If you stop fueling it (or repairing it), the force of ego will get deconstructed quite easily. But if you constantly keep trying to repair the ego up, by making it feel good through some temporary relief mechanisms like entertainment, chemicals (alcohol or drugs), distractions of different forms or even “forced” positive thinking, you just keep giving fuel to the momentum of the ego thus never allowing it to dissolve. Of course, the ego feels angry when you don’t try to repair it – just let it be angry, let it have its crying bout, and it will soon ebb away in force. If you keep pampering it, every time it throws a tantrum, you will be a prisoner to it, and it will stand in resistance to your natural expression, sometimes for a lifetime.
99% of your suffering is psychological, and it’s purely created by the force of your ego. It’s your choice if you want to continue fueling this source suffering, or if you are willing to let it dissolve. When the ego loses its hold on your being, you feel free, you are no longer living in a prison of the ego’s fears and insecurities. All it takes is for you to let the ego dissolve in force by not trying to repair it, allow its force to keep getting deconstructed until it no longer has a pull on your being. You will realize your wholeness, your true vibration, when you are no longer lost in the narrow pull of the ego.