Overcoming Restlessness

Posted on by Sen.



Restlessness is an indication that your brain is on an over-drive, in that it has gained a lot of undue momentum. This happens when you lose touch with the space of “being” and get totally lost in the restless pre-occupation of the brain.

In this society where being “stressed out” is considered normal, people may not even realize that they are being restless and may feel that its part of being alive. Being restless causes you to lose touch with your inner guidance, and disrupts the harmonious flow of energy in your body.

One of the main reasons for this restlessness is the tendency to want to avoid the reality of the ordinariness of life. A brain that is yet to come to terms with the ordinariness of life is always viewing life from the lens of ‘delusion’, it’s always rooted in some idea of ‘extra-ordinariness’ and hence keeps feeling a sense of lack; it’s always greedy for the next thing, craving for some dramatic experience all the time.

When people get tired of their material achievements, they flock over to spirituality in the hope of getting that coveted experience or the “high” that their brain keeps searching for. Spirituality can then become another means for the brain to look for extra-ordinary states or experiences.

And yet, the feeling of connection that you are looking for comes in when you let go of the need to “wait” for an experience, and are willing to connect with the silent space of your being.

You can use your awareness to really look at this physical realm in all its depths, if you are authentic in your looking you will always find a deep ordinariness in everything. The “experiences” can appear to be extra-ordinary, but it’s just an appearance on the surface.

All experiences eventually fade away back into a space of silence. can you sense that silence is always ordinary and yet its beautiful in its calmness/depth?

Why is the brain afraid of the ordinary?

You can see restless behavior in people who are holding on to deluded ideas about life, where they are waiting for that perfect “something” to happen which they think will complete them.

You can do a lot of things in this world, and be creative to the best of your ability. But if your energy is rooted in a sense of being incomplete (or not good enough), where you are focused on the outside as a means to achieve some sense of completeness which you lack within, you will always find yourself to be restless, with no real stability in your being.

When you are totally lost in the brain’s perspective you are always rooted in a sense of lack.

Achievements are fine, and are a part of physical living, but don’t be deluded that they can compensate for your sense of inner lack, because that mindset is at the root of all disappointments and let downs.

Live to your potential, engage in activities that you like, share your life through a relationship, but don’t expect any of these outside pursuits to fill the lack that you feel within, because the outside can never fill the emptiness that you feel inside. Of course, it can give you a delusion of doing so for a few moments, and this delusion is what keeps people “chasing” relentlessly, and restlessly, for that outside perfection. When you hang your expectations of fulfillment on the outside, it always leaves you disappointed.

Restlessness manifests out of inner lack

“Inner lack” and restlessness go together.

Restlessness can manifest as over-excitement, over-zealousness, hyperactivity, frustration, irritation and imbalanced passion.

A restless person always feels imbalanced and hopes to rectify this imbalance by fixing the “outside” in some manner. At the bottom of this restlessness is the delusion that something needs to happen on the outside before you can reach stability.

For example, you can see how a really passionate relationship (which you thought was the best thing to ever happen to you) fizzles away in a few months time, how that prestigious job (which gave you a huge sense of importance) turns into a stressful nightmare in a year, how that vacation you were so obsessed about leaves you feeling blue once you return.

An aware brain can immediately see through its delusions, while an unaware one keeps on chasing its delusions rooted in restlessness and frustration.

Interlacing the space of being with the brain

When your brain is rooted in surface level perception all it really cares about is “what can I achieve to feel good?

The underlying energy of such a thought is “I feel dissatisfied with what is but when I achieve XYZ I will be fulfilled”. But this mindset in itself keeps you rooted in a sense of craving, and keeps you from ever getting to that place of inner wholeness, because your whole focus is on the lack-oriented brain.

Dissatisfaction is what the brain is always rooted in, it has the attitude that something in the outside will make it whole, which keeps it in a restless “seeking”. The brain is mostly just rooted in its focus on the outside to fulfill it, and if you are totally lost in the brain, you not only take over its vibration but fuel this restless momentum into an overdrive.

The brain has its place, and its desires, preferences and requirements have a value, but when you are lost in the brain you have no connection with the wholeness of your being which is always “here” – this causes you to become imbalanced.

There has to be a balance between the brain’s craving and the stability of your being.

It’s not about suppressing the brain, it’s not about saying that the brain’s desires are not important or to let go of your aspirations or vision, because all of this can become another strategy of the brain – what I call “spiritual deception”. What’s needed is to bring a balance to the brain’s movement by finding connection with your space of being. The restlessness of the brain can only find a balance when it’s interlaced with the calm of your being.

Connecting With Your Space of Being

The space of being is ordinary because it’s like “silence”, but it’s an alive silence, it has intelligence, it has wisdom and it’s always whole.

The space of the brain is “noise”, it can have a lot of deluded expectations, imaginations and extra-ordinary perceptions, and hence is restless.

When you interlace the space of being with the space of the brain, what you get is a balanced physical movement – this is how the non-physical part of you (the space of life-energy) combines with the physical part of you as this body/mind.

This combination brings an end to movement of restlessness and allows for a movement of harmony.

In this place of balance there is no restless preoccupation with the outside, rather you are engaged with the outside as a means of living your potential (your natural expression), not as a means of finding a sense of self through some achievements.




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27 Comments

  1. abet

    Sen beautiful article

    In the past i have been able to many times experience lucidity while dreaming. It was truly an amazing experience the times that it happened and it got to the point where it was almost a regular occurrence.

    What opinion do you have on lucid dreaming? I have heard that it can help on ones spiritual journey to enlightenment?

    1. Sen Post author

      Lucid dreaming is enjoyable and can be a source of fun, but by itself it doesn’t do anything to make you more rooted with your being, and hence I don’t see any connection between lucid dreaming and enlightenment. It can become another avenue of delusion where you start chasing lucid dreaming as a means to achieve enlightenment. Enlightenment simply means to have a clear understanding of the reality of life, the only way to do this is to bring awareness to all aspects of life – “enlightened living” is to live from a place of balance where you are connected with your space of being without being totally lost in the brain. “Amazing experiences” is not what enlightenment is about, that’s the core delusion that keeps people chasing experiences or states as a means to enlightenment – all experiences are fleeting, and cannot give you a sense of stability which can only come from the space of being.

  2. abet

    Thank you for clearing this up

  3. Peter

    Do you think that ANY aspiration, vision or great dream is wrong? I mean, humans can thank a Louis Pasteur for relentlessly searching for the roots of illnesses (I don’t know in which mental state some of these scientists, artists where at the time) or a Gustave Eiffel that dreamed of some “impossible project” that up to this day is an attraction for millions of visitors.

    I’m asking because I have big dreams, and sometimes I fail to reach them, but by setting a goal of 150%, it gives me often an result of 90% (which is close to fulfillment). In my case it keeps me often in “overdrive” (which is sometimes tiring) but it helps me to reach goals and it represents some challenge that I enjoy 🙂

    Do you mean we should “lay back & let go”? Be more passive? Please explain.

    Thanks!!!! I wish you the Best.

    Peter

    1. Sen Post author

      Peter, I’ve not given any such pointer that having aspirations, vision or dreams is “wrong”, in fact moving through inspiration, expressing your creativity and taking action from this place inspiration is what your natural expression is about. The problem is when you become lost in the pull of the brain to the point when it starts “ruling” you, this is when you become imbalanced in your being, and lose touch with your inner wisdom/guidance. Another problem is when you start living in a delusion that an achievement is what will make you feel “complete”, where you associate your worth with your achievements, which stems from a place of inner lack. These imbalances happen when you are lost in the brain without any touch with your space of being.

      As I’ve mentioned in the post

      “Achievements are fine, and are a part of physical living, but don’t be deluded that they can compensate for your sense of inner lack, because that mindset is at the root of all disappointments and let downs. ”

      It’s not about becoming lazy or laid back or being irresponsible or passive in your brain, it’s about bringing a balance between your brain and your being, so that you move from a place of inner stability. There is difference between enjoying your creative expression, following your inspirations and relishing the experience of physicality, and trying to get a sense of “self worth” and identity out of all this. Also there are many people who become so lost in their creative expression that they lose touch with their body to the point that they over-work it into exhaustion creating a severe imbalance in its energy, thus disturbing its harmony – none these imbalances take place when you have a connection with the space of your being and are not totally pulled around by your brain like a helpless slave.

    2. Peter

      Thank you Sen!!! That was fast 🙂

      I start to understand what you mean and I think in my case it has been a balancing act between the state that you describe (being immersed in activities – without hurting the energy and the inner peace) and in other times I have overdone it and worked until depletion….(probably out of fear to lose control over projects/works/etc.)

      I thank you! Good insights. Difficult to apply if you have “past baggage”.

  4. jenny

    I definately do this. Thank you for the article!

  5. jenny

    So can you train such a mind to actually enjoy the ordinariness of life? Or would that be another technique? Do I just accept my brain as it is and try not to attach so much to it?? Thank you! 🙂

    1. Sen Post author

      As you find connection the space of being, you are no longer lost in the frantic-ness of the brain and hence can appreciate the simple ordinariness of the moment. In this place of connection you can also see the ordinariness in the brain’s movements and hence are no longer in “fear” of it.

  6. Noch Noch

    a lot of restless people, after having tried evertying, realize that ordinary and simplicity is the ultimate peace and serenity, as did da Vinci
    Noch Noch

  7. terry

    Great read …..one of the pieces of the why people cheat puzzle for me ….

  8. Anne

    Thanks for this Sen. This came in at a time when I am grappling with reality and not knowing why I’m so restless and bored. Not knowing how to overcome this state. Reading this described me to the T.. I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I just don’t know how to find that balance you talk about, “When you interlace the space of being with the space of the brain, what you get is a balanced physical movement “. Where do I begin…

    1. Sen Post author

      Anne, you can read the recent post – reaching a place of total allowing – especially the section about awareness and letting go.

    2. Halus

      Hi. Thanks for your writing sen, i like it. I had similar question as Anne, your answer helped understand what you mean by brain space and how to get there, by something which basically sounds meditation-like. However many people talk about “energy”. You mention “Bring awareness to your body’s energy by sensing it more keenly” What do you refer to when you say energy? People use this word in so many different ways that it’s hard to know what you mean by it.

    3. Sen Post author

      Halus, everything in life is eventually energy, including feelings and thoughts. When I say be aware of your body’s energy, I am just referring to being aware of what’s going on within in terms of feelings/emotions and physical sensations, as a means to bring your awareness within – in an unconscious state the awareness is usually disconnected with the body and is mostly lost to the mental noise and external distraction.

    4. Halus

      Thanks Sen. Now i understand exactly what you mean by energy. I was also thinking, what you name mind-space sounds to me like what some others would call the conscious mind and what you call space of being sounds very similar to what some call the subconsciousness, since it really is silent, yet intelligent. It was just a thought. I like what you write, It’s also one of the highest listings on the google search, so obviously i’m not the only one who visit your page. Also, i tried meditation for a while some years ago. It’s very simple but quite effective.

  9. Sanjay

    Sen

    Can the mind enjoy an experience that it knows as ordinary in its fullness? Or is the mind not really that important in fully engaging/enjoying in an experience/activity at any given moment. I mean from my standpoint it seems contradictory that a desired reality/experience will only manifest when it starts to seem ordinary since if it does so there is also the added possbility that the mind loses interest in the experience or starts becoming dispassionate about it.

    Thanks!
    Sanjay

    1. Sen Post author

      Sanjay, the term “ordinary” just means that you are free of delusions, you have not attached to a deluded sense of expectation with that desire making it out to be something extra-ordinary and thus feeling deeply lackful about not having it. If your sense of lack is what is fueling your passion or causing your mind to project a desire (which is purely just a thought of delusion), then when you get aligned that particular passion/desire will no longer be in your life – it will dissipate, because it was purely fueled by delusion and hence when the delusion got removed the desire got removed too. Desires which arise from your heart, which are aligned with your natural expression, these desires can be resisted by the mind when it creates some sense of “extra-ordinariness” about it, or when it feels unworthy of it. In this case when the mind lets go of these resistances, and sees the ordinariness of these desires (in the sense that it lets go of its deluded imaginations about it) this desire can start taking shape more easily. Your heart’s desire always has an element of inspiration, because it’s not coming from a place of egoic lack but from a place of natural expression of life in this body (life’s intent in this body).

  10. Sanjay

    Thanks for your response Sen! As a follow-up question to your response, is it possible or even necessary to distinguish between desires that are there in the framework of the body and as you say the heart’s desire which have an element of inspsiration. For example some of the basic needs/desires of the body are for food, sex and sleep. The need for variety and diversity of experiences say in these matters need not come from a place of inspiration but they orginate mostly from a need for survival. But the need for more and more variety and diversity in these basic survival matters can be an egoic projection. So how do we distinguish between legitimate and excess desires in such matter?

    Thanks!
    Sanjay

    1. Sen Post author

      Sanjay, as you grow in the space of awareness, there is a clarity that comes in automatically about what feels aligned and what does not, a lot of deluded desires can drop away if your brain was holding on to them owing to some outside conditioning. Desires which are in alignment with your natural expression stay with you and you come to a place of clear minded focus on them. When your space of awareness is not stable enough, it’s not possible to distinguish between an encultured egoic desire and the desire arising as a part of your natural expression – that’s why the pointer at this stage is to let go of trying to figure out and just stay in the space of being for a while.

  11. Jenny

    Hi Sen –
    On your journey, did you ever feeling like you were constantly just trying to “get through” the day? I feel as if each Monday, I just can’t wait to get til 5 pm so I can go home. And then I can’t wait until it’s Friday, so that it’s the weekend. And then on the weekend, I am just trying to “get through” everything – it’s like I am constantly trying to “get through” something so I can finally do what I want to do. Problem is, I don’t know what it is that I want to do in the first place. So i am striving to get somewhere, but I don’t know where. I know that I need to work on doing what I enjoy, and aligning with what brings me joy. I know that my current job is NOT that – so that could be the reason. But i feel like I need to stay in this job for now to help my husband, because we are creating a business together. I don’t know what my question is…just wondering if you have ever felt this way. As of right now, I don’t really enjoy life….not from an “I wish I was dead” POV – just I don’t really enjoy it. And I know that is coming from my mind….I am aware of all of that. I just always feel like I am trying to “get through” the day….I don’t know how else to explain it …

    1. Sen Post author

      Jenny, it’s fine what you are feeling right now, whenever awareness arises about the restless of the mind, just allow yourself to rest in the space of your being and sense the energy of the mind/emotions. Allow it to have its free movement but don’t buy into its thoughts or feelings, just stay rooted in your being – this will allow the restless energy to start getting released, and it will also allow more connection with your life-stream so that you can experience the depth of the moment rather than just believing the mind’s agitated movement towards the next moment. This sense of “not enjoying life” is temporary as you are going through this phase of a release of your mind negative momentum and the suppressed energies in your inner space/body space.

  12. Jenny

    Thank you Sen! I really appreciate you! 🙂

  13. Michael

    Last night I had a big realization, like the internalizing of the meaninglessness of life. It seemed like within 2 minutes of this realization, that nothing or nobody in the entire world could make me really happy or take away the lack of inner fulfillment. In a way it’s relieving, but it leaves me with the thought of “….now what?”

    It seems like a paradox of waiting for the inner wholeness to feel whole, while also having a knowing that nothing can fulfill me. What do I do?

  14. Rohini

    Hi,

    This article is great! It describes what I have been feeling for quite awhile. I have this urge to constantly explore new places/cities/countries and once I’m back from a trip, this restlessness starts up once again. I feel suffocated staying in the same place and Im sick of feeling this way. You wrote: “When you interlace the space of being with the space of the brain, what you get is a balanced physical movement – this is how the non-physical part of you (the space of life-energy) combines with the physical part of you as this body/mind.” and I was wondering if you have any suggestions on how to achieve this?

    Thanks!

  15. Yogita

    Hey Sen, I am Yogita, a Gemini girl .. I am damn restless every time. I am indecisive as well. I don’t how to overcome that 🙁

  16. Angel

    I am not feeling good internally. Person I love most, also don’t have any value when I start feeling bad. Am staying in hostel.. But I am missing my home and after some days I forget my home and get going on..but again the feeling bad and restlessness comes.. I don’t exactly know what I am asking you but it’s painful. I believe in god,so am jst waiting 4 him to help me out..

    I want to learn some techniques to overcome d restless feeling n feeling bad factor. My exams are going on, but my focus is not there due to my disturbed mind. I feel butterflies in my stomach and feel like running away from everything. please help.

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